00:00:08 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. But you're a guest to my home. You gotta come to me empty, and I said, no, guests, your presences presents enough, and I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare to surbey me? 00:00:47 Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gift sign Bridgard Wineger. Here we are at the beginning of the podcast. I'm coming in with a new energy that I don't like. I don't know what I'm doing with my voice right now or how I'm communicating with you, the listener, and I apologize. So I think this is just a result of waking up twenty minutes earlier than usual today, which has thrown off my rhythm entirely. I've tried napping twice. The caffeine consumption is all over the map. I haven't had dinner. I've had a third of a granola bar. Please bear with me. I'm glad you're here. I hope you're not involved in any illegal activity or committing a crime. But if you are, I hope this podcast is you know, keeping you keeping your cool and allowing you to commit the crime in a way that you won't be caught and you'll be able to get whatever you need. Okay, here we are. It's the beginning of the podcast. As I said before, so we should introduce the guest. I love the guest. I think the guest is so funny, and you're going to love the guest. It's Chris Garcia. 00:01:48 Speaker 3: Chris. 00:01:49 Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gifts, Bridgie. 00:01:51 Speaker 4: Thank you for having me. I for one, love this energy. He's kind of like an air from the twenties or something. It sounds very like your friends the Great Gats It's a nice energy and I think you wear you wear it well. You wear it quite well. Thank you for having me. 00:02:05 Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so happy to have you. And yeah, I don't know. 00:02:08 Speaker 2: I I usually wake up about seven o'clock, and today I think I woke up at six thirty. And it had the way the effect it's had on my entire personality, just the way I've operated throughout the day. It's been chaos from beginning to end. So it's nice see someone who's you seem like you're in a in a better place than me. 00:02:29 Speaker 3: Right, maybe we'll see. We'll see about that. You what have you been doing with your day? 00:02:37 Speaker 4: Well, jeez, I woke up. Let's see, I woke up at seven ten today. 00:02:41 Speaker 3: So okay, not a competition, but. 00:02:44 Speaker 4: The competition I got an extra forty minutes. You know, I rode the peloton for an extra five minutes than I usually do that have ten minutes, so. 00:02:55 Speaker 3: That's actually twenty. 00:02:59 Speaker 4: So I have that type of of I feel like it's kind of changed my energy today to five extra minutes on this low. 00:03:06 Speaker 3: Impact ride that I did today. 00:03:08 Speaker 4: And then you know, just wrote and hung out, have a new baby, hung out with the baby a little bit, and that's about it. Nothing too crazy, nothing too crazy. 00:03:18 Speaker 2: This sounds like a lovely day. And we've got two things I already want to discuss. I want to discuss the peloton. I want to discuss the new baby. Let's start with the exercise. What I have yet to be on one of these machines? How long have you had yours? 00:03:33 Speaker 4: I've had mine for about a year maybe two years now, No, maybe year and a half. I'm a hosing track of time. A year and a half. Got it at the beginning of the pandemic. They were on back order, so it took six months. So I'm saying it's not this past summer, but the summer before that. 00:03:51 Speaker 2: Okay, and has it been an enjoyable purchase? 00:03:55 Speaker 4: You know, it's been hanging clothes a lot, and it's been. I was really excited about it, like it was going to be like a life changing thing. I've yet to accomplish. I think my hundred ride, which is not like I use it very much. But in the last two weeks I've resolved to use it more and so I'm getting back on it. And it's been, uh, I'm good, two three or four rides a week and it's been it's been okay. Just getting a little exercise has changed my mental health. 00:04:24 Speaker 3: For the better, I would say, right. 00:04:26 Speaker 2: And so a thing with a peloton for me is I have no idea where in my home I would put it. 00:04:30 Speaker 3: Where are you keeping yours? 00:04:33 Speaker 4: Right here between we're getting the bed and the wall. 00:04:37 Speaker 2: Oh my god, it was in the room the whole time. I feel like it'stropic. 00:04:42 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's listening in but also got your gift. 00:04:46 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's you know, it's definitely not a sexy place for a peloton is in your bedroom, But we have a small place and we're working, we're working with it. 00:04:56 Speaker 2: Yeah, it kind of makes I feel like anytime you see a peloton, added kind of is in the bedroom. But maybe I'm wrong that does it feels like a place you would put it. I mean, you don't want it in the living room, like I mean, unless you're someone who has just so many rooms that they can just throw exercise equipment into a random room. You've got to kind of make a choice of it being kind of this bike that's just sitting in the middle of a room that shouldn't occupy. 00:05:18 Speaker 4: Got to write better jokes before I get a peloton room. 00:05:21 Speaker 3: I think I got out. 00:05:24 Speaker 2: That eventually you're gonna have that room, and you're gonna have just a whole line of pelotons from my. 00:05:31 Speaker 3: Own studio, my own studio. It'll be fine. 00:05:34 Speaker 2: Now, when you're on this bike, do you listen to your own music? Or is it like, are they deciding on the music? 00:05:40 Speaker 4: I'm at the mercy of the peloton instructor, which could go either way, and I always forget to check. 00:05:46 Speaker 3: So I was. 00:05:47 Speaker 4: I got a two red hot chili pepper and an Uncle Cracker the other day. 00:05:52 Speaker 3: Which that's Jack FM. 00:05:56 Speaker 4: That's very jack FM, and it was tor But I have decided that I'm not going to change once I get on the bike. 00:06:04 Speaker 3: I'm not changing the like the ride, I'm. 00:06:07 Speaker 4: Just going to stick to it as almost like you know, an exercise in mental toughness. So I've done that ride. I also did Christmas music last week by accident, and I just sat through it and I was like, you know what, I'm. 00:06:22 Speaker 3: Just going to play it as it lies, and I'm going to do that. 00:06:25 Speaker 4: But sometimes the Peloton instructors are like want to be DJs, and DJs are bad enough, but someone that wants to be a DJ and they can play some pretty terrible stuff. And for some reason, I haven't been listening to my own music. 00:06:39 Speaker 3: I think I'm just trying to let go. 00:06:42 Speaker 2: A person growing as a person, allowing to make that choice for you. The Christmas one is the Peloton instructor dressed in like Christmas clothes. 00:06:51 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, that's tough. Well for it. 00:06:54 Speaker 4: It was called a stocking stuffer or something, and I was like, I didn't really even pay attention to it, But that's not like the preview, like the like the little image had like an alfh on it or anything that would have tipped me off. 00:07:08 Speaker 3: But I should have known by it. 00:07:09 Speaker 4: No, it's called a stacking stuffer stuffer and I was like, I don't even know what this means. 00:07:13 Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh, stacking stuffer. 00:07:16 Speaker 4: Well, I guess it's a ride you could stack with other rides. 00:07:20 Speaker 2: And I was like, oh no, And what what sort of Chris are they playing? Like Bing Crosby or is it like high energy? 00:07:27 Speaker 3: No, pretty much bing Crushby. 00:07:30 Speaker 4: It's like you're just walking around the Americana, but you're trying to get trying to lose a couple. 00:07:37 Speaker 3: LB's just walking around the fountain. 00:07:40 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh that sounds deeply distressing. I have music when I'm working, Like I go to a gym once a week, and sometimes the music is I feel like they're putting it on to like convince me to beg Like there are moments where I'm like, if I paid you more, would you stop playing this music? Like like last time I was there, there was like a whole cover of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance, And it puts you in the worst possible mood and I'm already feeling bad. I'm already kind of angry that I'm even there. It's it's a real pushing you to your emotional limit. 00:08:13 Speaker 3: Well, first I have to say that. 00:08:15 Speaker 4: I have trouble believing that you only go to the gym once a week with that jaw line, sir. But so I think they're trying to push you to your limit. They're trying to break you to move weight around. I think that's what it is. 00:08:27 Speaker 2: I think they're trying to just drive me away. I think that's probably the whatever. Okay, so we've talked about the peloton and now you've got a new baby. How old is the baby. 00:08:37 Speaker 3: One year old? One year in three days or a girl? Girl? Oh? 00:08:43 Speaker 2: How sweet? How has this your experience been for you? 00:08:46 Speaker 3: I really like it. 00:08:48 Speaker 4: We've been home anyway for the last year, so it's it's felt really nice to hang out with this little kid and get to know her so like, no. 00:08:56 Speaker 3: Complaints for me. 00:08:57 Speaker 4: I didn't know whether I was going to like it or not, and I just completely really love it. 00:09:02 Speaker 2: And uh yeah, yeah, I don't know what I expected you to. Oh it's been awful. 00:09:07 Speaker 3: It's been What was I thinking you were going? Would you well, I'm glad you asked Bridger. I would send her back. 00:09:15 Speaker 4: No. What what a little piece of garbage this kid is that's really destroyed our lives no, just a sweety little kid. 00:09:22 Speaker 3: I really love her. It's really it's really nice. 00:09:25 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's an interesting because you had I mean, the baby was born in the real depths of the pandemic. 00:09:31 Speaker 3: Yeah, right in the depth. 00:09:33 Speaker 4: We decided, you know, at the very beginning of the pandemic, we. 00:09:38 Speaker 3: We were going to try anyway. 00:09:39 Speaker 4: We were like, let's let's try to do this, and you never know how long it's going to take. And I guess we forgot that I'm Latino because she and my wife got pregnant like in a month, and it was like and we kind of knew it, like when it happened. We not not to be tmi, but like we were. We were trying to do this, and one night we were doing it and it was fun. We had a great time, and we finished right at like seven fifty nine. And I know this because at eight pm everyone walked outside and started hitting pots and pans for like frontline workers. But we had completely forgot, and we had just collapsed on top of each other, and all of a sudden, I. 00:10:24 Speaker 5: Was like, clack clack, clock, clock clock. 00:10:26 Speaker 4: And I was like, I think that might be our baby, And it totally was our baby, Like It just totally was and I was like, Wow, we someone the neighborhood is rooting for us. 00:10:37 Speaker 2: That is incredible. What a way to be conceived. I hope she's You're going to have to tell her that story over and over. I'm sure she'll be thrilled. 00:10:46 Speaker 3: She'll love it. She'll love it. 00:10:49 Speaker 2: Wow, what an incredible I forgot about the banging of pans and pots. 00:10:53 Speaker 4: That's yeah, it just happened in that two month window when people were still. 00:10:57 Speaker 3: Doing that, you know, right, So yeah. 00:11:01 Speaker 2: Oh, that really just just memories of the last two years. I just have been kind of burying them as well as I can, and it's always a shock to hear some little reminder of early pandemic. Yeah, what else has been going on? 00:11:18 Speaker 3: I mean that's about it, you know. 00:11:20 Speaker 4: Just excited to get back out there. I've been pretty locked I don't know about you, but I've been pretty locked down for like a couple months. And it feels like things are opening back up. Yes, and it feels very nice. We saw some friends last week and we allowed them inside the house. It was crazy, it really felt like, and we were such social people and to be lockdown has been so treacherous. But it's been really like, I don't know, it's a little brighter later in the day. It feels like things are moving in a nicer direction. So I don't know, I've been in in like a better mood the last week. I'd say once it feels like this is hopefully we're you know, you could see her friends more and stuff now and even perform. 00:12:05 Speaker 2: I mean, I just can't imagine another wave of something. I think I've done as much as like humanly possible. Let's let's move on. I don't know. 00:12:16 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I don't want to talk about it ever. Really sick of it. 00:12:20 Speaker 2: It's just so awful. Do you go like, do you go on drives? Do you do anything to get out of the house? 00:12:26 Speaker 4: Not really, I mean I walked the dog, which is fun. 00:12:30 Speaker 3: How long have you had the dog? 00:12:32 Speaker 4: We got the dog the first day of lockdown, Like, yeah, we got her then and then she's just a really sweet dog. 00:12:46 Speaker 3: But it's completely a pandemic dog. 00:12:48 Speaker 4: And we had no idea that we were going to have a baby right away, so we feel pretty bad for and she's come. 00:12:55 Speaker 2: Around and was she initially kind of apprehensive about the baby, Yeah, she was. 00:13:01 Speaker 4: I mean one day, we couldn't find her and turned out and she was under the couch facing the wall like she was suicidal, and so we had that was we were a little worried about her. But now they get along great, like the baby and the dog like they seek each other out, and the baby is gentle weather and pets her and the dog, you know, licks her hand. It's really sweet. But at the beginning, I was like, no, what have we done to this poor dog? And she's just just a real sweetie. 00:13:31 Speaker 3: What kind of dog is she? You know, we paid for. 00:13:33 Speaker 4: A really bad my wife's dad a little bit of a cheap skate and for Christmas we're. 00:13:41 Speaker 3: Like, can we get a DNA test? You know of this dog. 00:13:44 Speaker 4: We think she's a cattle dog Bisngi mix because she's kind of shaped like a cattle dog and has the face of a Bisserji and she doesn't bark, and these are all traits of a Bisserji. And then we play sweet fostered the dog from said she was a cattle dog, but a to this she's like Chihuahua and a docs in and something else. But it's definitely a bad company, Like this is definitely just a real hoopedie bootleg dog DNA test thing. And I think it's ridiculous to spend money on that. I think that's why we kind of asked for it as a gift, right, But if you pay thirty dollars for this thing, you're gonna get a thirty dollars answer. 00:14:27 Speaker 3: And that's what we got. Really, it was. 00:14:28 Speaker 2: Thirty dollars, Like thirty dollars, like the cost of a stamp. 00:14:33 Speaker 3: Yeah, totally. 00:14:35 Speaker 2: It's like self addressed envelope and one stamp and like. 00:14:39 Speaker 3: Send us a picture. 00:14:40 Speaker 4: Like that's not a good sign, you you know, maybe yeah, I don't know. 00:14:47 Speaker 3: Do you have a dog? Yes? 00:14:49 Speaker 2: And we did one of those tests as well. I think I don't know. Ours was maybe eighty dollars. So also, how much is one of these even supposed to cost? Yeah, it's not like I'm out there window shopping for dog DNA tests, So I truly have no idea what to expect as far as payment goes. But they told us she's all American bulldog, which we had no idea. We thought that she was like a pit bull or a boxer or some mix, but apparently she's an American bulldog. But again could be a full lie. It's impossible to say. 00:15:22 Speaker 3: Things could be completely lies. I mean, they have your name. 00:15:26 Speaker 2: They could easily just get on your Instagram and find the picture of the dog and pay, you know, some poor person to just like pick guess you know. 00:15:35 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, there's a wheel they have. 00:15:39 Speaker 2: But yeah, she's She's also very quiet, which is incredible. She's not a barking dog and that's made her very easy for me to love. And not that I don't love a barking dog. I love a yapping dog, but that's probably because I don't live with any. 00:15:55 Speaker 4: Yeah, my ours is barely ever barks, maybe if there's a squirrel situation going on, or like you know, people just walk up to the door. She's not bark and I find it very soothing. It's very nice. She just cuddly and no barking. We locked out. 00:16:10 Speaker 3: Did you have dogs growing up? 00:16:12 Speaker 4: We did have dogs growing up, and I had a dog named Freeway that we founded on the Freeway I got to name the dogs. I had a dog named Poodle that was a German Shepherd that I got to write its name on the doghouse and I wrote the word puddle. My parents were very nice they just let me do whatever. And then we had a dog named Magic and Magic was a sweet like a sweet dog. Who's I think she was like some sort of She was a Golden Retriever. She was a nice dog. 00:16:47 Speaker 2: What's your current dog named Holly? 00:16:50 Speaker 3: Holly? Yeah, well, we were. 00:16:52 Speaker 4: Watching The Outsider and Holly is the name of one of the characters who has like a cash on the back of her neck. And so when we went to go we went to go foster a dog. They told us they're like, here's this beautiful black dog named Mackie. I think you guys would be a perfect you know, this dog would be perfect for you. And we show up and that dog, Mackie, beautiful dog, is leaving with someone else. 00:17:19 Speaker 3: And then we walk in and I was like, oh, I think we were here for Mackie. And the lady's like, sorry, we just gave Mackie away. 00:17:27 Speaker 4: But we have this like shaking, scary dog with a huge wound on its neck and I and I was. 00:17:34 Speaker 3: Not prepared for this, and I was like, what. 00:17:38 Speaker 4: It's like actively bleeding And not that I didn't I didn't want to help this dog, but I was expecting this like beautiful black dog that kind of you see in like a Patagonia catalog or something, and it was this this little kind of shaky dog. 00:17:54 Speaker 3: With a huge wood on its neck, and you know, the wound reminded us of this dog Holly. 00:17:59 Speaker 4: And it turns out we stayed with this dog and we didn't know that she. 00:18:03 Speaker 3: Would have her period. 00:18:04 Speaker 4: As soon as she got home, and she was on her period and she was bleeding for her neck and there was a lot of blood, but it really didn't matter to us because she was such a sweet dog and it was like the right thing to do. We were like, we'll keep this dog. We're foster, we'll show it to other people. But within like a day, we're like, oh, can maybe we should just adopt this dog because she's so sweet sweetie pie. 00:18:27 Speaker 3: Wait, where was this open wound from? What is this place? We have no idea. 00:18:31 Speaker 4: I mean they found her on the streets of Highland, which is like maybe on the way to Idlewild or like Josh, which are like palm strings. 00:18:39 Speaker 3: It's like this town. 00:18:41 Speaker 4: And I like to say, I, growing up as a Latin man in the hood like to say this dog was definitely a hood rat. I was like, this dog had never been inside. 00:18:52 Speaker 3: This dog may have been chained. This is something I. 00:18:54 Speaker 4: Don't know, but we have nursed her back to health and she is the sweetest, sweetest little dot CAA. 00:19:02 Speaker 3: Oh, that's such a nice thing to hear. 00:19:05 Speaker 2: I mean, sure, okay, that's nice, but I do need to talk to you about something else, which I don't find so nice. I will say I was kind of prowling around your neighborhood recently. It was around I don't know, I was on my way to dinner, and I thought, maybe i'll see what's happening at around Chris's house. It's kind of darting through the shadows and you know, just doing my general prowl. And so I was a little surprised to have that upset when I came upon your door. 00:19:35 Speaker 3: And I looked to my left and there was a little. 00:19:39 Speaker 2: Bag hanging there, and I, you know, I thought, what could this possibly be? 00:19:43 Speaker 3: Is this for me? 00:19:45 Speaker 2: Chris couldn't have possibly left this for me, But I took it anyway. And then I went to dinner and I thought, I will deal with that. I'll confront Chris on the podcast and just see what game he's playing now. And so now I currently have this little adorable, let's say it, let's just say it, absolutely adorable pink bag with kind of a hologram balloon that says baby. And now hearing that you have a baby and that I just kind of took this off your porch, I hope I haven't stolen something from your child, Chris, is this a gift for me? 00:20:21 Speaker 4: Yeah, it has nothing to do with my child. I actually have this bag custom made for you. I just thought it would be wonderful. I was like, I think Bridger, I think a hologram. This hologram with the word baby. 00:20:33 Speaker 3: On it is exactly it. So I had a custom made. 00:20:37 Speaker 4: It has nothing to do with my baby daughter or her one year old or one first. 00:20:42 Speaker 3: Birthday that just happened. I just really thought her. We wrapped all her gifts and Camo. 00:20:49 Speaker 4: But I was like, for Bridger, this would be a perfect bag. No. Yeah, we repurposed this bag and I'm getting into you. 00:20:56 Speaker 2: It's a beautiful bag. I mean, it is a perfect for a baby. And I'm happy to be, you know, kind of identified as a baby. And so, uh do you want me to open it here on the podcast? I can wait till another day. It's really up to you. 00:21:11 Speaker 3: I mean, i'd say open it. 00:21:19 Speaker 2: Okay, fine, let's get into it here. 00:21:21 Speaker 3: I'm going to reach in. 00:21:22 Speaker 2: There's okay, Now within the bag there's another bag, a plastic bag. So and this bag says thank you for shopping with us. Okay, I don't know where it came from, but it's definitely a plastic bag. 00:21:36 Speaker 3: And I'm going to reach into this. 00:21:37 Speaker 2: Point of that. 00:21:40 Speaker 3: Let's wow. 00:21:41 Speaker 2: Yeah, listen to that crunch. Okay, Now I'm going to reach in even porter Bay and what okay, I've opened It's a bottle of Augustine Reyes Royal Violets baby cologne. It's a purple bottle of a liquid that is apparently a cologne for baby. Yes, Chris, what's what's happening here? 00:22:10 Speaker 4: Well, this was a gift for my baby from my mother, which is a Augustune is a type of just very traditional Cuban baby cologne, which if you ever wonder what culture will raise someone into becoming pit pull one day, you might want to you maybe it's because he's been wearing cologne since a baby. But I am certainly not putting this on our baby, and so I thought I would maybe just give it to you and see if maybe you would have a stab at it or what you what you really think about this baby cologne? 00:22:52 Speaker 2: I want to smell this. Oh that's I mean, that's absolutely a cologne. It does smell like I mean, it's not like you would you would put this on an adult man. This is like if you smell the baby that smelled like this, you would think that they were a jiggalow or something. 00:23:06 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is a man out on the prowl. 00:23:09 Speaker 4: And my mother wants to put that on our one year old daughter. 00:23:15 Speaker 3: Which apparently I wore it. 00:23:17 Speaker 4: And then my nieces and nephews who are older now, who are my mom's other grandkids, We've all worn this Cuban baby cologne. 00:23:27 Speaker 2: So is there just one type of baby cologne. 00:23:30 Speaker 3: There's a couple of competitors. 00:23:32 Speaker 4: They don't have the total market cornered, but this is probably the most popular. I would say it's the Drakar Noir of. 00:23:42 Speaker 3: The baby cologne market. 00:23:45 Speaker 4: It's yeah, it really has a really strong smell. 00:23:49 Speaker 3: I thought it would smell more like violets or something. 00:23:54 Speaker 4: It smells more like maybe like one of those massage chairs in a car wash show. It really smells like Wow, this is smells like a little bit like DJ Caller or someone real like Machismo. I noticed this before. I wanted to take a good look at it before I gave it to you. But if you take a look on the back, there's it says a couple of things. 00:24:23 Speaker 2: Yes, okay, So it says enjoy the clean, mild and long lasting fragrance of Royal violets celebrating more than eighty five years it is. It is truly a modern classic. And then keep out of reach of small children, which I feel like goes against everything this product is. Avoid contact with the eyes external use only flammable until dry. Which is a rough thing to hear about. Some of your spraying on your baby. Hopefully your baby is not smoking when you're spraying them. 00:24:57 Speaker 4: If you put that on your kid, your your probably actively smoking yourself. 00:25:02 Speaker 2: It was not a great you know, it's like, oh, wow, so your mom would put this on you as a baby. 00:25:09 Speaker 4: Yeah, apparently I would wear it as a baby. She had given it away as gifts before I was in I was in first grade and I went to this boy's birthday party. And you know, my parents, I love them, They're amazing. But as immigrants, they don't really always know the culture, the rules or stuff like that. So I go to my classmate, his name is Marwan Muaalam. We go to his birthday party, which is at like a McDonald's playground. 00:25:39 Speaker 3: Type of thing, right right, and Marjan's opening. 00:25:42 Speaker 4: His gifts and you know, there's like g I Joe's and Transformers and then finally fucking Royal violence for my mom. 00:25:51 Speaker 6: And it was like I remember being They're like, oh, thanks, yeah, cool purple cologne for first six year old boy. 00:26:03 Speaker 4: It's just kind of crazy, like I don't know I would get. 00:26:08 Speaker 3: Him it's smelled good or something. But like, the thing is is. 00:26:12 Speaker 4: That babies already smell good, Like babies like naturally nice smelling creatures. 00:26:18 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like. 00:26:19 Speaker 4: An actual evolutionary adaptation that babies smell good, So we want to keep them around and protect them. 00:26:27 Speaker 3: And my mom's like. 00:26:28 Speaker 4: Fuck that, I want this baby to smell like, you know, yeah, like DJ Kaled on the prow, like this baby's trying to attract people at the club or a baby. 00:26:43 Speaker 3: Yeah, let's get this baby why, which is just ridiculous. 00:26:49 Speaker 4: And do you have siblings? Yeah, I have an older sibling she's twelve years older, and I don't think you know, she grew up in Cuba for the first couple of years of her life, so I think she kind of missed the royal violet's face. I think royal violets is actually like a Miami Cuban invention. 00:27:07 Speaker 3: I'd have to check on that, but it just feels Miami, right. It does feel very deeply Miami thing. 00:27:13 Speaker 4: Yeah, a deeply v neck Miami type of thing is to have this type. 00:27:19 Speaker 3: And but that's just kind of how I think. 00:27:22 Speaker 4: My mom is very like, you should have to put you should Sonny's her name. 00:27:26 Speaker 3: She doesn't really have any hair up top. 00:27:27 Speaker 4: She has like long blonde hair in the back, and so she is mistaken for a boil all the time. And I don't care, but it makes a big it's a big deal to my mom. She's like, you should put a bow in her hair. People have to know she's a girl. When we came home from the hospital, her first question was like, where's her ear rings? 00:27:46 Speaker 3: And I'm like what. She's like, they will do it in the hospital and I'm like, what, that's truth. They will are, like, we. 00:27:55 Speaker 4: Have a pediatrician and she she has like a whole display case of like different colored studs that. 00:28:04 Speaker 3: You can put a bit in a baby's ear. 00:28:06 Speaker 4: And then my Clare's hospital it's a Saint Clair's, you. 00:28:10 Speaker 3: Know, Saint Claire's, and uh she uh, I don't know. 00:28:15 Speaker 4: She was like, I can get a lady to come to the house and I am certainly not doing that, mom, And then it's just I think. 00:28:24 Speaker 3: I don't know. 00:28:24 Speaker 4: I don't think it's very respectful for the child. I think they should probably determine that's a choice that she should make for herself when she wants. 00:28:32 Speaker 3: To get her ears pierced. 00:28:33 Speaker 4: And it's like, you know, and then yeah, because she's bald on top and has a big, long, flowing bald mullet, she would just look like hule kogd or like the Tiger Cake or something like. She would look like some sort of like hillbilly minor. 00:28:48 Speaker 3: League picture or something, you know. And the I'm like, I uh, yeah, I don't know. I just think she's okay how she is. 00:28:56 Speaker 4: And my mom pastors me NonStop about that, like she'll text me about it and so oh, and then she also like bugged us about the baby clone and my wife being a nice Midwestern girl who's like all and she's also very into like all natural stuff, and she's like, we are absolutely not putting this on our baby. And I'm like, but we have to, like, we have to put this on our baby. Like I'll spray her from far away. We just won't light any candles or smoke anything, like, we'll just keep her. 00:29:30 Speaker 3: We'll just hope that she doesn't. 00:29:32 Speaker 4: Combust and will lightly miss the baby from far away, so that my mom it's worth it to do that so we don't hear the wrath of my mom. And so we did it. And then my mom didn't even notice and she hasn't even asked. Rude, I know, so rude. 00:29:48 Speaker 2: I mean, I guess you could just spray all the baby clothes and then move on and then you know, give it to me. But now, yeah, I mean, I'm actually very much on your mom's side here. I love a baby with ear rings. It gives them an eye professional look. It looks like they're ready for the workplace. A baby with Pierce deeers and Dowson cologne. I can't think of anything better. What a jolt to the senses. But you do, you it's not my baby. 00:30:16 Speaker 3: That's so funny. 00:30:18 Speaker 4: She's ready to lead a TEDx conference. She is here and she means business. 00:30:25 Speaker 3: She is at the Holiday Inn. She is on this business rip. 00:30:28 Speaker 2: She's expensing dinner. Okay, are you a cologne wearer yourself? 00:30:34 Speaker 3: No? No, not at all. Did I go? 00:30:38 Speaker 4: Did I ever go through a phase even in like you know when you're like right after college and you're kind of an idiot, Like I remember like I would order like a Sapphire Tonics or something. I don't know, like when you're like I'm a I'm an independent post college prison. No, but I don't think i've ever I've never owned cologne. I've had it gifted to me, but I've never warn it good. 00:31:01 Speaker 3: And you grew up in LA Is that true? 00:31:03 Speaker 4: Yeah? 00:31:03 Speaker 3: I grew up here in Los Angeles. 00:31:05 Speaker 2: Okay, what I love Cuban food, but I don't understand where to get it in Los Angeles? Is it even possible? 00:31:12 Speaker 4: There's a really great place in Silver Lake called. 00:31:17 Speaker 2: Oh I've been to. I do love that place, and. 00:31:21 Speaker 3: That place is great. 00:31:22 Speaker 4: They you know, silver Lake and Echo Park used to be very there, used to be a lot of Cubans in the neighborhood. And this restaurant's been there forever and it's recently recently been like handed down to the kids of the owners, and they've just done a really great job. And I think they recently bought Cafe Tropic Call as well, which is Lake Yeah, and they make really great coffee and pastries and stuff. 00:31:47 Speaker 3: But I just really love that place. 00:31:49 Speaker 4: There's a place in North Rodondo Beach where I used to work, like when I was home from college in the summers called Havana Main Yeah, which is I think it was like a former cook at Versailles or something, which is like the famous Cuban place. 00:32:08 Speaker 3: And there's one on Pico. 00:32:10 Speaker 4: He started his own place with his son, and that's Havana Mania, which is it's pretty good. It's legit and just really good roast pork, banana, you know, fried bananas, beans, all that stuff. Really good fried oxtail if you're in the that oh, I love auxtale, delicious, awesome. 00:32:27 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:32:27 Speaker 2: I went to Miami for the first time a few years ago and my only goal was. 00:32:32 Speaker 3: To eat Cuban food. 00:32:33 Speaker 2: And because it was the most bizarre trip I possibly could have ever imagined going on, I did not get to eat any Cuban food until I was. I made the desperate move to have it at the airport, and it was devastating. 00:32:46 Speaker 3: Oh did you go? 00:32:47 Speaker 4: I guess I must have been Versailles or something that have a place at the effort. 00:32:50 Speaker 3: Was it any good? Was it terrible? It was awful? 00:32:53 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah yeah, and it felt like my one big chance. 00:32:56 Speaker 3: So I don't know, you know, Cuban food. 00:32:58 Speaker 4: In Miami is probaly better than it is in Cuba because the access to ingredients and spices and stuff. 00:33:07 Speaker 3: But I just I'm not. 00:33:08 Speaker 4: A Miami person like my dad is such like he's not flashy, like he's not an ear rings, jewelry, cologne guy. My dad didn't even consider moving to Miami, and he said he was like, I don't like Miami because I like books. Like I really thought it was like not classy, And I don't know, Miami's fine. Miami Cubans will get mad at me for me not liking it, but it's just I don't know, it's kind of hokey, Like it's kind of corny. Like the beach is nice, but it's a lot it's a lot of white linen. 00:33:44 Speaker 3: Yes, it's a lot of you know, it's too much for me. 00:33:49 Speaker 2: Have you your parents came to the US decades ago from Cuba? 00:33:52 Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, they came in the like mid seventies. Okay, and have you ever been to Cuba? Yeah? 00:34:00 Speaker 4: I went for my parents. You know, they left and they never went back until recently. But like my parents were like, we're never going back. We never want you to go. And then I convinced my mom. I was like, I want to go in my honeymoon where you went on your honeymoon, and she was like fine, So I went and it was incredible when yeah, in twenty sixteen, and I got to meet family that I'd never met before. I got to you know, I got to see the actual like all my family still lives in the same place that they lived where my parents left, so I got to see their house. 00:34:39 Speaker 3: I got to meet cousins. 00:34:41 Speaker 4: I got to find out that my mom has told my family that I'm a journalist and not a comedian, which really hurt my feelings. 00:34:50 Speaker 3: Of course, I'm like what. 00:34:52 Speaker 4: They're like, yeah, your mom says you're a journalist, and I'm like what, No, I didn't even ever even consider this. 00:34:58 Speaker 3: And then I was like, mom, you we told our family that then I'm a community. She's like being a comedy. 00:35:03 Speaker 4: It's kind of trashy, like it's kind of like a low class thing in Latin culture. And I was like Jesus, I like, help pay your bills, you know, with like comedy yet so insulting. It's so insulting. I just you know, it was. It was so amazing. It's just an incredible I don't have you ever been there? 00:35:24 Speaker 3: No, I would love to go. 00:35:25 Speaker 2: I'm sure it would be an incredible experience. Is it is it difficult to get there or is it now pretty easy? 00:35:32 Speaker 1: Well? 00:35:32 Speaker 3: It changes all the time. 00:35:34 Speaker 4: And I think Trump made it hard to go there again, and I think it might be easier to go there again. All the rules of Cuba always the change, like all the time. But I went in like twenty fifteen when it was kind of easy. It was like the easiest to go. Like I went to Cuba the week before Obama went to Cuba, and it was so funny because it was like watching a whole country clean up the house for Thanksgiving. 00:35:59 Speaker 3: Like it was like everyone was like cleaning. 00:36:01 Speaker 4: Stuff, like stuff that had been like broken down for years. They were like my aunt lives behind the baseball stadium. Like in the alley behind the baseball stadium, there's like two hundred Cubans painting a blue at the same time. Like they were like, we gotta do this before the rolling Stones and Obama comes. 00:36:20 Speaker 3: And like I relate to all of those people. Yeah. 00:36:23 Speaker 4: Yeah, my cousin kept not saying yea Obama because they were like fixing the roads. They were like fixing all this stuff just to like, you know, make it appear like things were better than they actually were. But it's a really I've traveled a lot in my life and I've just it's one of those places that it's unlike any other place. It's it's you know, it's just it's of course it is because there's a you know, there's an embargo, and there's all these circumstances that make it. With the embargo, they can't really get new supply and new stuff there all the time. So they're driving cars from the fifties. 00:37:02 Speaker 2: That part of it's so fascinating. Just like all of the cars are like brand new fifties cars, right, I mean, like they were very well kept. 00:37:09 Speaker 3: There's very well. 00:37:10 Speaker 4: Kept and like my cousins restored this, like he has an orange, like this beautiful orange. 00:37:16 Speaker 3: I think it's like a Ford fair Lane or something. And I'm like wow, and he's like this color. 00:37:21 Speaker 4: He's like, I traded some stuff with the guy who paints the fire trucks, and I gave this guy a couch who paints the school buses yellow, and so I made this orange color. 00:37:34 Speaker 3: And he like opened the hood and he's like. 00:37:37 Speaker 4: This is all held together by a bedframe. There's a telephone wire that he was using like all this stuff, and it's like pure incredible ingenuity. Like it is like just they're so creative, and you know, it's it's really heartbreaking because at the same time, my cousins they had like a shower curtain and the rod was cut together hula hoops like I that was cutting, like stuffed and straightened and stuff, and that type of thing is heartbreaking and at the same time it's genius and so just making do with what they have and we help them as much as we can from here and stuff. But it's just like an incredible culture and very incredible people. And I was like, dude, I was like, this car is amazing and I never thought of this. And my uncle and my cousin was like, fuck off, we had this. 00:38:30 Speaker 3: We've had the same car for sixty years. 00:38:33 Speaker 4: Like, no one wants to drive one of these fucked up, stupid old cars that are maguiver together. While like American tourists going to like it's a novel, yeah, and they're like, yeah, it's fun for you. You get to go home, asshole. We have to. We have to keep this car going with like a dream and some duct tape. 00:38:52 Speaker 3: But it's a really cool place. 00:38:54 Speaker 4: It's very complicated, and it's I was lucky enough to go there and not get you know, when you're it's a very different situation, and I got to go and see family and kind of get the real low down and and it just gave me so much pride to be I've always been proud to be Cuban, but to like just the sheer grit and determination of these people in my family. On my dad's side, there's kind of like these Cuban Royal ten and bombs kind of where they're all like there's like these two virtuoso violin players and there's two doctors, and they've always I don't come from like a rich Cuban family like some people that left before the revolution. I come from like a very poor Cuban family and you know, my dad was homeless as a kid and all this stuff, and they're just. 00:39:38 Speaker 3: Like these really bright, creative people. 00:39:43 Speaker 4: It was probably, you know, probably the coolest experience of my life to go to Cuba. And then I went back a couple of years later with my mom and that was awesome to see my mom go back to the old neighborhood and still have her same like Don Rickles type attitude. 00:40:00 Speaker 3: She'd be like, hey, there's the family. Lady, Hey, family, he remember me. 00:40:03 Speaker 4: And I'm like, Mom, you haven't been here over forty years and you're making fun of this woman for wait. 00:40:08 Speaker 3: You're like ah, and the lady's like anna. It was like watching God. 00:40:13 Speaker 4: It was really wild because I mean, you know, the at least on in these couple of blocks in this neighborhood on the outskirts of Havana, the people have stayed of all kind of stay friends, are all kind of live in the same neighborhood, so they all like There's some guy stopped me on the street and was like are you on This. 00:40:32 Speaker 3: Is son And I was like this and I was like yeah, and I was like, you look exactly like I was, like my lorch and they're like some. 00:40:41 Speaker 4: Of this son's here everybody, and they're like and they all had nicknames for them. And they told me this really funny story that when my dad, when he was a young guy and he was like trying to pick up ladies, he would do this thing where he would take a dollar and then he'd put a bunch of paper in between it and pretending to that like a huge stack of money. 00:41:04 Speaker 3: And be like cologne. 00:41:06 Speaker 5: Yeah, and he'd be like, hey, do you want to go out tonight? And I'm like, that's insane. That's a great trick. I mean it's not gonna last. I mean it's going to be discovered pretty quickly. Yeah, but right up top for the initial. 00:41:20 Speaker 4: Yeah, sure, and then you're like, wow, okay, but yeah, it was a really cool, really cool experience. 00:41:27 Speaker 3: And was your mom reluctant to go initially? Yeah. 00:41:31 Speaker 4: My parents had such a tough time there and they were there for a pretty brutal time in Cuban history that they both my mom and dad refused to ever go back. And uh, you know, my dad passed away a couple of years ago, and his dying wish was to have his ashes scattered in Cuba, and my mom was still. 00:41:51 Speaker 3: Like, nah, I'm not going to do it. And then it. 00:41:55 Speaker 4: Took a little bit of like pestering and like mental gymnastics, where eventually I asked. 00:42:02 Speaker 3: My mom was like, what are we going to do with your body when you die? 00:42:06 Speaker 4: And she was like, I want to be donated to science, and you know, and my sister were like no, we're thinking I'll probably cremate you. And she's like what and I'm like, yeah, I'm saying no, I want to be I want to be donated to science. And my mom's also very gross, so she was like, I want to be donated science everything, but my little thing that's for your dad. 00:42:24 Speaker 3: Like my mom's nasty. 00:42:25 Speaker 4: My mom's like a nasty She's like this, she's very religious, but she's also very dirty and so and she still says stuff like that and she's like, I had a dream about your dad last night. 00:42:37 Speaker 3: I can't tell you anything about it. You wouldn't like it. 00:42:39 Speaker 4: And I'm like gross, but yeah, So I kind of talked my mom into it and she was like, Okay, I understand if it was your dad's dying wish. And so we went there and it was so cool, Like my mom showed me around. She showed me this hallway where she pretended to faint. So my dad, who she was trying to court, would like. 00:43:01 Speaker 3: Your parents are the most romantic people in the world. I think they really are. 00:43:05 Speaker 4: They really loved each other and apparently really loved having. 00:43:08 Speaker 3: Sex with each other, like they which I've given up being grossed out by. And I'm like, that's cool. 00:43:14 Speaker 4: Can I just imagine fifty three years into this and she my Mom's always like, I lost. 00:43:19 Speaker 3: My virginity to your dad. I'm like, yes, I know, I don't need to be reminded of it. She was like, I was a senorita. I was like, that doesn't matter. 00:43:26 Speaker 4: But they, you know, they had something for each other, and uh, you know, it's kind of kind of gross to think about. But at the same time, it's also kind of grosser to think about your parents just being roommates and never having sex, right. 00:43:41 Speaker 2: Just completely cold, joyless nightmare after getting Yeah, no, I'm happy for both of them. What a lovely thing to have happened. 00:43:50 Speaker 3: Thank you. Now, while you were in Cuba, did you smell any babies? I didn't smell any babies at all. 00:43:56 Speaker 4: Okay, but I didn't get you know, no, it didn't really stand out to me like I especially, I definitely did not smelling a row of Violet's usually smell. 00:44:07 Speaker 3: The cars, the petrol. There's sugar, coffee, cigars. 00:44:12 Speaker 4: And gasoline. That's what you mostly smell. So that's covering up whatever baby smell there is. 00:44:18 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like you would like if you had smelled a baby with this on it, you would have an absolutely clear memory of that happening in Cuba. 00:44:25 Speaker 3: Oh for sure. 00:44:26 Speaker 2: It's I mean, it is extremely powerful. I don't think that this should I now smelling it for the second time, I don't think that it should be anywhere near a baby. 00:44:35 Speaker 3: This is not poison. 00:44:38 Speaker 6: This is like. 00:44:40 Speaker 3: Alcohol. 00:44:41 Speaker 2: Yeah, it is pure alcohol. It's crazy, Chris. I think it's time to play a game. Great, let's play a game called Gift Master. I need a number between one and ten from you. 00:44:51 Speaker 3: Nine. 00:44:52 Speaker 2: Okay, I have to do some light calculating. I have to go get our game pieces. 00:44:55 Speaker 3: Right now. 00:44:56 Speaker 2: You can promote something, recommend something, do whatever you want with the mic. 00:44:59 Speaker 3: I'll be right back. Okay, fantastic. 00:45:03 Speaker 4: I guess I could promote my new podcast, which is called Finding Raffi, which is all about the children singer Raffi, And it's a really cool deep dive into his life and his career and it's really fun. 00:45:18 Speaker 3: I don't know if you. 00:45:19 Speaker 4: Listen to Rafi as a kid or if you're anyone else out there as a parent, but I got to sit down with Raffi over multiple conversations and talk to him and some of the closest people in his life and other sorts of people and experts about Raffi, and it's been a really nice experience. 00:45:36 Speaker 2: Perfect advertisement that sounds fantastic. 00:45:39 Speaker 3: Did you listen to Raffi growing up? 00:45:42 Speaker 2: I didn't, but I'm very curious about who he is as a person, and it's the whole phenomenon is kind of fascinating to me. 00:45:48 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:45:48 Speaker 4: I hadn't heard him either until we had a baby, and then he's ritten some pretty good bangers like Baby Beluga and Banana Phone. But getting to know him, it's been really cool, almost like a Mister Rogers like. 00:46:03 Speaker 3: Person. 00:46:04 Speaker 2: How did you How did you get involved with that? 00:46:07 Speaker 4: Well? I had another podcast called Scattered about taking my Dad's ashes back to keep it with my mom and someone people would approach me to host other podcasts. And these folks who had done this podcast called Finding Fred about mister Rogers that was nominated for a Peabody it was really great, asked me if I would be interested in hosting a podcast about Raffi, and I was like, oh my gosh, I've just heard about Raffi for the first time, and so I like went for it. And now I'd have to say I'm probably probably a leading expert in all things Raffi. I would say my producers and I probably know more about Raffi than anyone other than Raffi or is very dear friends. 00:46:48 Speaker 2: That's incredible. Well, listener, go listen to that podcast. That sounds wonderful. You've enjoyed Chris up until now. Continue continue enjoying Chris's podcast. Chris said, it's time to play the game. This is called Gift Master. I'll tell you how this works. I'm gonna name three things you can give as gifts, three objects, experiences, whatever. And then I'm gonna name three celebrities, three famous people, and you're gonna tell me which gift you will give which celebrity and why does that make sense? 00:47:17 Speaker 3: Perfect sense? 00:47:18 Speaker 2: Okay, these are the gifts you'll be giving today. First gift you'll be giving this is an interesting gift. It's Salt on DVD. Now Salt was I've never seen this movie. I believe it was an Angelina Jolie vehicle where she played someone named Salt or something. That's all I can tell you. Probably within the last fifteen years. I think she had like a blonde wig and was probably a spy or something. But that would be on DVD Angelina and as missus Salt or whatever the hell. Okay, Number two, you're gonna be giving the person their own master class, so they would be, you know, have one of these master classes which are all the rage and finally a clone, so the person will receive a clone of themselves if that makes any sense at all. 00:48:02 Speaker 3: Wow. 00:48:02 Speaker 2: And so the people you will be giving them to are. Number one is di'angelo r and b Icon Di'angelo. Number two Dido, Now Dido. I can barely visualize what she looks like in my mind. I'm hearing the White Flag song. That's it, but only basically through eminem But that's fine. 00:48:24 Speaker 1: Uh. 00:48:24 Speaker 2: And number three is Ray Romano. Oh my gosh, So what will you be giving who and why? 00:48:31 Speaker 4: Okay, I think I mean the clone would have to be Di'angelo. I think the world become twice as beautiful and sexy with two DiAngelo's. I would watch that go down. I think that would just be fantastic to have two d Angela. I mean that I ain't have to think about balance. 00:48:53 Speaker 2: So I think that's I mean, the ebbs are just multiplying. Suddenly we have another D'Angelo to make music. I don't think there's any downside to that. 00:49:03 Speaker 4: Yeah, one is seeing when and not has had along too. I don't know, it's just D'angelo's. That's that's a piece of cake, Dido. I also can't I just hear kind of a wiss like that, she's a wisp and there's a voice and then there's a whole hmm. 00:49:21 Speaker 3: I would let's see. 00:49:24 Speaker 4: I think I would have to give her the Salt DVD because I feel like she's from that same era, like she was at maybe really around kind of at her peak when Salt came out. Even though I don't know what your salt came out, I'm gonna can I cheat and look this? 00:49:42 Speaker 3: Of course? 00:49:43 Speaker 2: I mean I gave you so few details I don't know how I ended up putting a Salt on DVD on this list in the first place, but just the fact that both of us have such vague memories of either of these this person or this object kind of lines up as far as gift giving goes. 00:49:58 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, for sure, twenty ten twenty to way, Angelina Jolie is Salt. 00:50:06 Speaker 3: I mean, it's really first thought. 00:50:07 Speaker 4: But I really thought it was like a cookingment documentary, or maybe it probably is one, or that. 00:50:12 Speaker 3: She was a chef or something. 00:50:13 Speaker 4: But she really looks like some sort of Eastern European spy. 00:50:17 Speaker 2: Now I want to look it up. Let's see no blonde wig. Oh, actually, it looks like you. Looks like she has a lot of wigs. She has a black wig and a blonde wig. So I wonder if Salt is when she puts on the blonde wig. If that's true, that's the reason none of us remembers the movie. 00:50:34 Speaker 4: Yeah, she was Pepper and now she's Salt. So I looked up Dido and the first thing it says is whatever happened to Dido? 00:50:44 Speaker 3: Oh that's never a good sign for a career. 00:50:46 Speaker 4: She married novelist Rowan Gavin and twenty ten, So this retroactively would be a perfect wedding gift for her and Rowan this DV that came out in twenty ten around can just hang out and enjoy their domesticity and watch this DVD. And then of course the masterclass would have. 00:51:11 Speaker 3: To go to Ramono. 00:51:14 Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know what he would teach, but I I mean I wish it was actually for Ray Barone, which I don't even know why I know his last name because I don't think I ever really watched the show. But I feel like Ray Barone the character I would like or maybe you know, he could decide to do with this gift with whatever he wants, but him as Ray just like or whatever he does, just he would just teach people to impersonate himself. 00:51:45 Speaker 3: Maybe that could be the masterclass or. 00:51:47 Speaker 4: How to prolong his career, like he's really done a bang of job. 00:51:53 Speaker 3: He's done it. 00:51:54 Speaker 2: I mean, he's constantly in things that are not embarrassing. He seems to know what he's doing. 00:52:00 Speaker 4: And would you say that Ray Romano has gotten more handsome, oh, michas days as Ray Buron. 00:52:05 Speaker 2: He's a much better looking man than he was on the sitcom. I mean, he's aged into this kind of just kind of salt and pepper. It's a good look for him. 00:52:15 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think he looks great. Yeah. 00:52:17 Speaker 2: So yeah, maybe a masterclass on just becoming a you know, aging as a man. 00:52:22 Speaker 4: Yeah, I will. Yeah, I think that's great. I think that would be very. 00:52:24 Speaker 2: Helpful, beautifully played. I think that that's excellent. I don't disagree with any of those choices. And hopefully at some point we'll have another D'Angelo running around. 00:52:35 Speaker 3: I just love that I'm going. 00:52:36 Speaker 4: To have a document open in my computer that I'm going to find in like two years that says salt DVD masterclass clone D'Angelo, Dino. 00:52:45 Speaker 2: And Ray Romano, like some Memento type situation that suddenly you are like going through your past. You've been accused of a crime, and those will be your only three clues. Chris, This is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I Said No e Mails. People write into I Said No Gifts at gmail dot com. Every one of these people assumes that I'm going to be able to help them with their problems, with their social problems, with their gift giving issues. And I guess the assumption is correct because I do it every podcast. So will you help me with a question, of course? Okay, let me read this one. Let's see it says. 00:53:23 Speaker 3: Hello, Bridger and Guest. 00:53:24 Speaker 2: I am writing for advice on what to get my boyfriend for our upcoming ten year anniversary this spring. Around the time of our anniversary, I will be completing a stressful career milestone, and we will both be preparing to move across the country together. That's in parentheses, that together, which we are both very anxious about. I want to give them a gift that will help make the anniversary special despite everything that will be going on. However, while I don't ever have any money, I am especially broke right now. My boyfriend always gives me the most thoughtful and beautiful gifts, including a treasure hunt for my birthday with meaningful gifts hidden at every new clue, and a homemade music video. While I give him cash and modest amounts. In my defense, he is difficult to shop for and always knows what he wants and buys it for himself. Okay, we're still not done. Could you please recommend the perfect gift for my situation? For some more context, our favorite shared activities are playing video games, going on walks, and being passive aggressive. Thank you very much. And that's just signed simply e. E. Okay, just from this situation right here, E, I'm just going to tell you that I think that the boyfriend is going to leave you. I don't think there's any reason to get him a gift. It seems like you're doing a horrible job in this relationship. You have excuses, you're just giving him modest amounts of cash as gifts, and the only things you like to do are play video games and go on walks. This guy has got every excuse in the world to just walk out the door. And he's going to be moving across the country, which you think you're doing together. As you said in the parentheses there, I think he might have different plans. Chris, what are you thinking from this this email? 00:55:06 Speaker 4: Well, I was thinking since E because boyfriend modest amounts of cash and they love video games and they're growing cross country would be very sweet. If he planned a route to the East coast or whatever coast they're moving to, and along that route, if they're driving, they could stop at like vintage arcades, right, and then the gift, the gift would be different roles of quarters that they could use to play at these arcades. I think that would be very lovely. They're goings a beautiful idea arcade or whatever pinball place along the country. It would be very thoughtful if they, you know, made a road trip around this and you know, and they figured that ahead of time. 00:55:49 Speaker 2: Oh. I think that's an excellent gift. If he's not leaving her, which or him. It's just an e so we don't know who he is. But if the boyfriend is not going to end the relationship, I think that is perfect. I mean, I will say it's such an unbelievably thoughtful gift that the boyfriend is going to become suspicious because he has been giving just has been giving it. I wouldn't even call a half effort. He has been putting ten percent energy into this relationship. And suddenly there's this thoughtful cross country arcade tour. That the boyfriend's going to know something's up, and I think that that could lead to more problems. So look, E sure Chris has given you literally the perfect idea. I don't think you should take it. I think maybe bump up the cash gift by five dollars. Maybe you know you're probably going to be stopping at like a truck stop at some point on this trip. Suggest a walk while you're there, and I think that that's really all you have to do. I mean, and this is all again, assuming the relationship hasn't ended by the time that this email has been read, because the boyfriend has got two feet out the door, and E You're lucky that it's gone on for this long. That's all I'm gonna say, Chris. 00:57:12 Speaker 3: I mean, he was very lucky you were. 00:57:14 Speaker 2: Here because I'm not happy with what's happening in this situation at all. 00:57:18 Speaker 3: And you were much more graceful, you were much more funny. 00:57:21 Speaker 4: I mean, I just thought that would be a I love giving gifts. 00:57:24 Speaker 3: I thought that would be a sweet thing to do. But I think you're right. 00:57:27 Speaker 4: I think they're over and they should just go for a long walk in a truck Stu. 00:57:33 Speaker 2: I think you, I will say, after however many episodes we've recorded of this podcast, you have thought of the in truly a split second, the most thoughtful, lovely gift I've I could have ever imagined. That's very impressive. Well, thank you, I mean, are you lucked out in the biggest way possible. I'm actually kind of mad about it. 00:57:56 Speaker 3: Chris. 00:57:56 Speaker 2: We're not answering any more questions. I don't want to give you an an opportunity to fail here. I mean, if I read another thing and then suddenly you expose yourself as someone who only takes people to arcades and this was just a happy coincidence, I don't know. We're going to leave it there and just let you be a shining moment. 00:58:14 Speaker 3: Chris. 00:58:15 Speaker 2: I'm so excited to have my baby cologne. 00:58:17 Speaker 3: Oh well, I'm so excited for you to have it. 00:58:20 Speaker 2: I'm going to wear it on a night out on the town. Kind of nauseate friends, nauseate my boyfriend. I could probably also kill bugs or something with this. 00:58:31 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I kill some bugs. Yeah that'll be good. That'll be those poor bugs. 00:58:37 Speaker 2: I've just had a terrific time with you. Thank you so much for being here. 00:58:41 Speaker 4: Thank you so much, Bridger. I just have to say, you crack me up so much online all the time, but it's such a pleasure to see you even over the screen and laugh so hard in your presence. 00:58:53 Speaker 3: You're the best. Thank you so much for having me. It's very sweet. 00:58:57 Speaker 2: The world is opening up and I pray to see you in person, souit. Well, that would be wonderful, listener. I you know, maybe I'll see you at some point in person soon. It's there's no telling, and I hope that it's on, you know, good terms. I hope you're not mad at me. I hope that you don't just show up to my home uninvited. But you know, keep all of that in mind. This is the end of the podcast, and so I'm gonna let you go. Go do whatever you're doing. If you know you're you know, I mentioned at the beginning of the podcast, maybe you were involved in some sort of criminal activity. I hope that's going well for you. I encourage and support everything you do. I'm an enabler. Goodbye, I love you. 00:59:42 Speaker 3: I said. 00:59:42 Speaker 2: No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced and engineered by our dear friend Analyse Nelson, and the theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said No Gifts, that's. 01:00:00 Speaker 3: Where you're going to see pictures. 01:00:01 Speaker 2: Of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. You have to see the gifts. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you found me, and why not leave a review while you're there. 01:00:14 Speaker 3: It's really the least you could. 01:00:15 Speaker 2: Do considering everything I do for you. And if you're interested in advertising on the show, go to mideral dot com slash ads. 01:00:25 Speaker 1: And I invited you. Hear Funna Man myself perfectly clear. 01:00:34 Speaker 3: When you're a. 01:00:34 Speaker 1: Guest to me, you gotta come to me empty and said, no guests, your presences presents enough and I'm already too much stuff. So how did you dan to survey me 01:01:00 Speaker 4: The