WEBVTT - Locrio Lessons from the Dolly Mama

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<v Speaker 1>M hm.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Eating While Broke.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm your host, Pauline Witt, and today we have very

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<v Speaker 2>special guest model and founder of the Dolly Mama not Dolly.

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<v Speaker 2>It wasn't Lama, right, Dolly Mama like mama beer founder. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>dollar Mammy, dollar, Mammy, Dolla Mama, that Tosh.

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<v Speaker 1>That too, that too, Dolly Mommy too. Your Sanchez is

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<v Speaker 1>in the building. Yes, yes, thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>For being patient while I do extra twists on the dollar.

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<v Speaker 1>Mama. Hey all good, Thanks for being patient for me.

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<v Speaker 1>I got here a little late.

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<v Speaker 2>You got here late, but you know what, I know

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<v Speaker 2>You're gonna feed me good.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I got it.

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<v Speaker 2>And I love that you prepared a secret sauce prior.

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<v Speaker 2>It shows that you were definitely your game for this.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. So what are you making me eat today? So

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<v Speaker 1>today we're gonna eat something called a dish called Lokri.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a Dominican dish, staple Dominican dish. It's a one

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<v Speaker 1>pop meal and it feeds a lot of people.

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<v Speaker 2>It looks like when I saw all the ingredients, I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, yo, I don't know if she knows it's

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<v Speaker 2>a broke dish show. And then you were like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>it's one pot. And I went through the grocery store

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<v Speaker 2>and honestly, dish dish, I think I spent like thirty

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<v Speaker 2>or forty bucks, and I knew you can have multiple servings,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I got two packs of chicken with it, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>like the whole nine. So it's definitely affordable, guys, and

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<v Speaker 2>it's definitely can feed a whole family.

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<v Speaker 1>So what are the ingredients for your dish? So we're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna do We're gonna have rice, chicken, cilantro, orange, lime, olives,

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<v Speaker 1>tomato paste, all theive oil. It sounds overwhelming, but it

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<v Speaker 1>really is. It's just a lot of spices and herbs

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<v Speaker 1>and add flavor more so. But like the staples are

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<v Speaker 1>rice and chicken and they're gonna be cooked in one

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<v Speaker 1>pot together, and then you have you can run through

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<v Speaker 1>the seasonings just to kind of tell them. So we

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<v Speaker 1>got cumin, oregano, paprika, salt, and pepper, onion powder, adobo

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<v Speaker 1>and that's it. Yep, yep. And you did the cilantro right,

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<v Speaker 1>garlic cilantro, yes.

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<v Speaker 2>So well you get your But in the kitchen, I

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<v Speaker 2>want you to say the name of the dish again.

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<v Speaker 1>You said it with like a nice, nice, nice accent. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's called locrio low creo, Lo creo, low creo.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah I said it right, Yeah. Okay, So take me

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<v Speaker 2>back to what was going on in the Look Real air.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm gonna start seeing the Chicken Star season, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>for sure, I look forward to eating. And then you said,

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<v Speaker 2>this dish takes about maybe forty minutes to make, but

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<v Speaker 2>it's a one pot dish. So can people go home

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<v Speaker 2>and just throw it all in their little you know,

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<v Speaker 2>those little slow cookers or no, I've never used a

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<v Speaker 2>slow cooker, but I was just wondering, like, cause.

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<v Speaker 1>No, not even the slow cooker. You literally just put

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<v Speaker 1>it in a pot. Really in the pot, okay, in

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<v Speaker 1>the pot you make rice. I have a feeling that

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna go home and try to make this dish. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>even though you didn't say what did you say what

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<v Speaker 1>was in the secret sauce? No? I didn't. So this

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<v Speaker 1>is so free. Though a lot of people probably know

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<v Speaker 1>about this, this is a famous Dominican staple in the kitchen.

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<v Speaker 1>Smell it.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yes, Oh that's gonna be a lot of spice. Yeah, Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>you wasn't playing this is gonna be spicy. No, it

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<v Speaker 2>ain't gonna be spicy.

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, it smells spicy. It smells spicy, but it's

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<v Speaker 1>not spicy. Okay, So what's in it? So we got

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<v Speaker 1>bell peppers, cilantro, onion, garlic, lime, juice. Honestly, it's it's

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<v Speaker 1>whatever you want to put in it, you know, whatever

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<v Speaker 1>you want to make. This is your your your base.

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<v Speaker 1>You're gonna season your meat with this. You can seizon

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<v Speaker 1>your beans with this. It's just like however you want

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<v Speaker 1>to make it. You got white onion, red onion? Are

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<v Speaker 1>you gonna use that whole batch? Not good? So? Can

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<v Speaker 1>I keep some if it? Yeah, if it's a.

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<v Speaker 2>Great dish, guys, I love to pretend, like when we

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<v Speaker 2>have good dishes on the show, like in front of

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<v Speaker 2>guys that like, yo, I just swipped.

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<v Speaker 1>This up, you know, on my own.

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<v Speaker 2>I freestyled it, and I'll be stealing the dishes from

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<v Speaker 2>eating while broke and I'm like, hey, I mean for sure,

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<v Speaker 2>been a couple of things I took off this show

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<v Speaker 2>and definitely made it for like a week straight.

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<v Speaker 1>Use your resources, you know, and be like I made

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<v Speaker 1>this on my own. I came up with it on

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<v Speaker 1>my own and know you can't have the ingredients. Oh no,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't need to say that, okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, and you have tomato paste, Yeah, I got tomato.

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<v Speaker 1>Tomato paste is gonna go after okay. Okay, So so

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<v Speaker 1>Frito garlic, We're gonna do a little bit of orange

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<v Speaker 1>you So you want me to take you back to

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<v Speaker 1>the time of yeah dish? Yes, okay, you're right. Cooking

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<v Speaker 1>and talking is hard. It really is.

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<v Speaker 2>I've had guests that literally leave and be like, Yo,

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<v Speaker 2>that was a lot harder than I thought it was

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, all right, let me get to it. Okay. So

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<v Speaker 1>the last time I had this dish, actually it wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>that long ago because it's good, but my mom used

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<v Speaker 1>to make it at least once a week. It would

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<v Speaker 1>be it would be on rotation for the meals for

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<v Speaker 1>the week, and we were living in a one bedroom

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<v Speaker 1>apartment in Uptown Manhattan. Oh you're from New York. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>girl from New York. Make that little tell you the

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<v Speaker 1>Neveicant story earlier. Okay, Okay, so yeah, yeah, I'm from

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<v Speaker 1>the I'm from I grew up in Dykeman and the Bronx.

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<v Speaker 2>Gonna be homies yes, so okay, so how many siblings

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<v Speaker 2>did you have?

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<v Speaker 1>Two sisters, two older sisters that they came. So me

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<v Speaker 1>and my mom migrated to New York City first, and

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<v Speaker 1>then she sent for my sisters once she found stability.

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<v Speaker 1>You said, migrated from where Dominican Republic?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, okay, so you migrate here and then she

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<v Speaker 2>sends for the two other sisters. So it's just four

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<v Speaker 2>women with yeah, women living in a house.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, Yeah, and my stepdad was around for a bit. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>for a bed, a one bedroom, so we were sleeping

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<v Speaker 1>in the living room. So we had a bed in

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<v Speaker 1>the living room and the couch and stuff. So it's

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<v Speaker 1>just like, you know, we gotta make it work.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's tough in New York because, like they're really

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<v Speaker 2>small apartments unless you got like one of the old school.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, they're really small apartments. And yeah, we were a

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<v Speaker 1>bit crowded, you know, I didn't have my own space.

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<v Speaker 1>But we were obviously grateful, you know, but it was

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<v Speaker 1>definitely difficult to for my mother, especially to navigate coming

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<v Speaker 1>too another country, not learning not knowing the language. You know.

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<v Speaker 1>My stepdad was around for a bit, but did he

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<v Speaker 1>move from No, she met him out in New York. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>oh after Yeah, so she's like super independent woman. Yeah no,

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<v Speaker 1>my mom my mom already was. She's the only one

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<v Speaker 1>out of all her siblings. I came to the United

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<v Speaker 1>States and then her her sister's coming soon as well.

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<v Speaker 1>But she made that leap first, and she wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>give us a higher education, and she wanted to give

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<v Speaker 1>us more than what she had. She came from a

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<v Speaker 1>really small like farm in the Mindican Republic. And was

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<v Speaker 1>she young mom or older mom? My mom? So, my

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<v Speaker 1>mom had my oldest sister at nineteen, then she had me.

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<v Speaker 1>I know that she had me like twenty seven, okay, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>oh so there's an age spread. But she moved. So

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<v Speaker 1>she moved to the to New.

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<v Speaker 2>York at the age of probably around twenty seven or

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<v Speaker 2>thirty or how i'll yeah, okay, so she's actually thirty

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<v Speaker 2>like around that. I told she your mom's your mom's

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<v Speaker 2>a power house. Yeah, because it's a little bit of

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<v Speaker 2>a gangster.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, she's super gangster. Yeah she sounds gangster.

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<v Speaker 2>That's a that's a real independent move a woman by

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<v Speaker 2>herself with kids. Okay, so now I see, I see

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<v Speaker 2>where the the entrepreneurs coming.

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<v Speaker 1>In Okay, So you grew up with your mom and

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<v Speaker 1>uh in New York. Yeah, what's the next play from

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<v Speaker 1>there that I want to slowly land in the Dali

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<v Speaker 1>Lama lage. Okay, Dolly Mama. Okay, so boom, I saw boom.

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<v Speaker 1>I grew up in New York and the Bronx. So

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<v Speaker 1>let me just cut to the chase. I had a

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<v Speaker 1>daughter at fifteen. Oh wow, Yeah, so I got pregnant

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<v Speaker 1>when I was fourteen. I had my daughter at fifteen.

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<v Speaker 1>Definitely was a decision that I wanted to make, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>at first, it was really crazy. I didn't want my

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<v Speaker 1>mom to know. I was about to say, like, how

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<v Speaker 1>did your mom take that news? Not?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, did she whoop your book? Because I have a

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<v Speaker 2>I have a Jamaican mom, like I would have like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>that's the that's the for sure, Like I have to

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<v Speaker 2>run away from home because I ran it?

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<v Speaker 1>Did you actually run away hours? Because they found me?

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<v Speaker 1>But I actually did before you told her the news? Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>so she damn I got I really tell the story.

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<v Speaker 1>Got one hour? Okay. So she found out I was

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<v Speaker 1>pregnant because she looked through my book bag and found

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<v Speaker 1>my planned parenthood note that said I have an abortion scheduled,

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<v Speaker 1>so I was going to go through with it and

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<v Speaker 1>everything because I was like, my mom's gonna murder. I wouldn't.

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<v Speaker 1>I would have done this exact thing. I would have

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<v Speaker 1>been had to miss school that day so I could

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<v Speaker 1>go handle that business. And she went in my book

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<v Speaker 1>bag out of like I call that divine into because

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<v Speaker 1>that child, my daughter, saved my life. But we'll get

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<v Speaker 1>to that. But she came in and was like, out

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<v Speaker 1>of all days, never looked at my back, wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>look through my book back that day in front of you, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>in front of you. Oh, I would have just ran.

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<v Speaker 1>I would have booked it. That is that the day

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<v Speaker 1>you ran away? Yeah, shebed the letter and I, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I would have looked it. I'm with you. I would

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<v Speaker 1>have been like the fear of God would have I'm dead.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm dead. So yeah, I ran away. But then obviously

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<v Speaker 1>I was found. It's only so far I can go.

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<v Speaker 1>We were like hiding at some I wanted me and

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<v Speaker 1>my baby. Daddy was like hiding out one of his

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<v Speaker 1>friend's house and he's like, Yo, my mom's about to

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<v Speaker 1>come home from work. You gotta go. I'm like, fuck.

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<v Speaker 1>We didn't think this through bad? No, but yeah, so

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<v Speaker 1>I had I decided. You know, my mom was like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>you're gonna not have this kid, Like we're gonna go

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<v Speaker 1>to this appointment, You're not gonna have this child. And

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I was like, fuck, I gotta do what

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<v Speaker 1>my mama say, Like, you know, I already messed up

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<v Speaker 1>pretty bad, so I got to do what she says.

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<v Speaker 1>I kind of had between my pointment, between that moment

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<v Speaker 1>and the day of the appointment, I had some thoughts

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<v Speaker 1>and a change of heart and I was like I

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<v Speaker 1>actually don't want to I want to have this baby.

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<v Speaker 1>Like am you told it? No? I had not. I

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<v Speaker 1>was telling myself, I'm like, wait, I want to have

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<v Speaker 1>this baby. So as I was sitting the appointment came,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, she came with me. My sister came as well,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was sitting in the waiting room and she

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<v Speaker 1>was like outside and I was like, I can't go

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<v Speaker 1>through with it. And I was like what is she

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<v Speaker 1>going to do to me? Like what's the worst so

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<v Speaker 1>she can do? She really don't care on me, Like

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<v Speaker 1>I was like what is Like I cannot I need

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<v Speaker 1>to have my baby. So I like walked out and

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<v Speaker 1>I said I'm not going to do it, and I

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<v Speaker 1>stood on baby. But wait, you said it outside in public? No? Y, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>in the waiting room. Yeah, you didn't do it in the.

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<v Speaker 2>Four the four corners of that apartment, because I'm sure

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<v Speaker 2>we would not be having this right now.

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<v Speaker 1>So you tell her? What does she say? She was no?

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<v Speaker 1>She a scene breaks out at the plant parenthound, you know,

0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:19.520
<v Speaker 1>and she's just like, how can you guys are love

0:12:19.640 --> 0:12:21.280
<v Speaker 1>She's a child and they're like, well, you know, it's

0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:24.079
<v Speaker 1>her body and it's her choice. That's the law here.

0:12:25.000 --> 0:12:27.719
<v Speaker 1>You know that don't fly in the Caribbean. But I'm

0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:29.440
<v Speaker 1>telling you I would have never lived to see another day.

0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:30.320
<v Speaker 1>I would have had to run away.

0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:32.760
<v Speaker 2>I love this story, by the way. It just like

0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:37.120
<v Speaker 2>makes me love you. So it's such a good story.

0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:41.559
<v Speaker 2>So so you So she does she she embarrasses you

0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:44.120
<v Speaker 2>in the in the and you still stick through to it.

0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:47.800
<v Speaker 1>No, I stand on business. Okay, I'm like, nope, I'm

0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:53.559
<v Speaker 1>having it. And you know, she loses it and you

0:12:53.679 --> 0:12:58.079
<v Speaker 1>know the following weeks after that, how was your baby

0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:01.320
<v Speaker 1>daddy taking the news too? Oh? He he swore up

0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:03.000
<v Speaker 1>and down. He was like, that was my baby? You

0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:08.400
<v Speaker 1>ain't wanna come, my baby. I'm like, right, yeah, I

0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:12.199
<v Speaker 1>was fifteen, he was sixteen or something. Guys were young

0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:14.640
<v Speaker 1>and young in love, young and in love, and it

0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:20.160
<v Speaker 1>was just like okay, and then yeah, but the weeks

0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:24.640
<v Speaker 1>after that were really hard for me, but more for

0:13:24.840 --> 0:13:28.080
<v Speaker 1>my mom. I mean, I don't know for who more honestly,

0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:30.959
<v Speaker 1>but I just could hear my mother crying through like

0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:36.199
<v Speaker 1>the walls, and you know, we've talked about it now

0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:39.079
<v Speaker 1>looking back, and you know, I learned that like she

0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:42.280
<v Speaker 1>had she got an antidepressant because of that, she was

0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:46.400
<v Speaker 1>on anti depressants for like twenty years for that. Because

0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:49.720
<v Speaker 1>of that or that like was like the breaking point

0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:51.760
<v Speaker 1>for her. I think she was like my mom was

0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:54.200
<v Speaker 1>a single mom, struggling and stuff, so like in general

0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:57.280
<v Speaker 1>that yeah, she didn't want that. She really tried to

0:13:57.360 --> 0:13:59.400
<v Speaker 1>protect me. It wasn't really so much like she was

0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:01.600
<v Speaker 1>being an ass hole mom, Like she just was really

0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:05.800
<v Speaker 1>trying her best to stick to the plan. You know,

0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:08.160
<v Speaker 1>I want my daughters to just like not get distracted

0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:12.280
<v Speaker 1>and not get you know, but sometimes I just feel

0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:17.439
<v Speaker 1>like when you shelter your kids too much, it tends

0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:22.000
<v Speaker 1>to make them want to like break out and do

0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:24.520
<v Speaker 1>more because it's like, oh, this is my only opportunity

0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:26.480
<v Speaker 1>the house do it all. But like I know, it's

0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:30.280
<v Speaker 1>ridiculous obviously like that that thought. Girlfriend, Like, no, I

0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:31.600
<v Speaker 1>saw that, Like they were kids.

0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:35.320
<v Speaker 2>So anytime I knew kids that like their parents like

0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:38.800
<v Speaker 2>restricted them to the max. The second they got loose,

0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:42.160
<v Speaker 2>they went zero to one hundred. And it was just

0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:44.840
<v Speaker 2>like it just it did the complete opposite.

0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:49.200
<v Speaker 1>And they had them watched but that ten minutes they weren't. Yeah,

0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:52.400
<v Speaker 1>it's literally that. It's like and the law of energy.

0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:55.640
<v Speaker 1>Love of the way the universal energy works, like too

0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:58.840
<v Speaker 1>much on something, it's just gonna explode.

0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:03.000
<v Speaker 2>And so during the pregnancy, So I had best friends

0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:06.440
<v Speaker 2>in school that you know had kids in high school.

0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:10.280
<v Speaker 2>How did your whole like high school atmosphere, teachers, and

0:15:10.400 --> 0:15:12.520
<v Speaker 2>how was your mom treating you during the pregnancy.

0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:14.560
<v Speaker 1>Not trying to stir up some beet between you and

0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:17.080
<v Speaker 1>your mom? You know what I'm saying. I get it

0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:19.240
<v Speaker 1>if you'd be like I'm leading it you know. No, No, no,

0:15:19.440 --> 0:15:23.440
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I've worked through all this in therapy. No.

0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:29.600
<v Speaker 1>But so high school was very very interesting. I was

0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:35.480
<v Speaker 1>a freshman, so I was definitely a baby. You know

0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:37.240
<v Speaker 1>I got. I definitely got a lot of looks from

0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:39.040
<v Speaker 1>a lot of teachers. I had some teachers that were

0:15:39.080 --> 0:15:42.080
<v Speaker 1>really supportive, Like I had a math teacher that he

0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:45.640
<v Speaker 1>had a cushion for me for the chair, like ready

0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:48.160
<v Speaker 1>for me, and like you know, and then I had

0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:53.480
<v Speaker 1>obviously not so many I mean, like displeasing looks like

0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:57.120
<v Speaker 1>how of you know, yeah, like damn you know, And

0:15:57.480 --> 0:15:59.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, I had like people tell me like, okay,

0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:01.560
<v Speaker 1>so are you gonna do? Like are you gonna even

0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:05.080
<v Speaker 1>graduate on time? Like you're not, you know, you're going

0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:06.960
<v Speaker 1>to be a statistic like all these other girls who

0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:10.240
<v Speaker 1>get pregnant. You know, you're from the Bronx. You don't

0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:13.960
<v Speaker 1>have too many opportunities or whatever the case. So for me,

0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:17.640
<v Speaker 1>I took that as a like challenge.

0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:21.640
<v Speaker 2>Accepted, like I'm approving, right, And that's why you said.

0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:25.680
<v Speaker 1>That earlier, because like that for me is like challenge accepted.

0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:30.000
<v Speaker 1>You know, I'm about to show show y'all, and you know,

0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:32.680
<v Speaker 1>and and that's exactly what what I did, you know.

0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:35.080
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I graduated on time. After I had my daughter,

0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:37.160
<v Speaker 1>I went straight to school, Like I think I took

0:16:37.200 --> 0:16:40.040
<v Speaker 1>off like two weeks maybe or like three weeks and

0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:43.520
<v Speaker 1>like I went back to school. Did your mom make

0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:45.040
<v Speaker 1>you make a promise that you were like in a

0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:47.760
<v Speaker 1>complete school or something during it, or she didn't make

0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:51.080
<v Speaker 1>me make a promise, you know, Like my mom didn't really,

0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:54.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean obviously she was like I just want you

0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:59.880
<v Speaker 1>to do, like which the right thing. And she once

0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:03.600
<v Speaker 1>she found out like the gender, she like warmed up

0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:05.359
<v Speaker 1>a bit and she was like, oh, it's a girl.

0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:09.520
<v Speaker 1>Like we weren't talking for months, and then when I

0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:13.040
<v Speaker 1>it was the day of my appointment for my ultrasound,

0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:16.639
<v Speaker 1>she was like, oh, did you find out the gender?

0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:19.399
<v Speaker 1>And I was like yeah, and she's like what is it?

0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:21.840
<v Speaker 1>And then I was like, oh my gosh, she's curious,

0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:26.640
<v Speaker 1>Like it made me really happy. And then she was like, oh,

0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:28.719
<v Speaker 1>it's a girl, and then forget about it. Since then,

0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:31.440
<v Speaker 1>she like come home from work with baby clothes and

0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:35.440
<v Speaker 1>she just got mad excited for this child. I love that.

0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.800
<v Speaker 1>I love that because I honestly I was scared for you.

0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:44.360
<v Speaker 1>I was genuinely like I would have been terrified. No, honestly,

0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:47.119
<v Speaker 1>it was terrifying. It was it was terrifying. It was

0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:52.320
<v Speaker 1>really difficult, and then like okay, to top it all, off.

0:17:53.880 --> 0:17:58.200
<v Speaker 1>Three months later, my other sister comes out pregnant. So

0:17:58.359 --> 0:18:01.680
<v Speaker 1>she has two teen daughters. Oh she's pregnant. Oh she

0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:05.160
<v Speaker 1>she You guys given your money. Hell, yeah, you guys,

0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:08.080
<v Speaker 1>you're giving her my poor mother. Literally, I just say

0:18:08.200 --> 0:18:14.640
<v Speaker 1>my poor mother. I will say this though, that that's

0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:17.919
<v Speaker 1>a strong character, that's a unique character.

0:18:18.400 --> 0:18:20.280
<v Speaker 2>And I don't know, I'm deathly afraid of my mom,

0:18:20.440 --> 0:18:21.879
<v Speaker 2>like straight up, like my mom could give me a

0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:25.520
<v Speaker 2>look and I'll run right now at forty. But I

0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:27.840
<v Speaker 2>think that takes a lot of guts to stand in

0:18:27.920 --> 0:18:30.000
<v Speaker 2>that truth of that moment, like I want to keep

0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:32.560
<v Speaker 2>the baby and like see death on the other side

0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:35.280
<v Speaker 2>of the door, because I know as like having.

0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:36.320
<v Speaker 1>An immigrant mom, like.

0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:42.359
<v Speaker 2>Everyone Jamaican, Puerto Rican, Dominican can relate like, yeah, you're

0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:42.919
<v Speaker 2>not gonna live.

0:18:43.040 --> 0:18:45.600
<v Speaker 1>That takes a lot of courage to stand on that.

0:18:45.920 --> 0:18:48.480
<v Speaker 1>So like, what did you say you about your business?

0:18:48.520 --> 0:18:50.720
<v Speaker 1>What'd you say? I stood on business? You stood on business.

0:18:50.720 --> 0:18:53.600
<v Speaker 1>You definitely stood on business. So then your sister saw

0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:55.680
<v Speaker 1>you stand on business. It was like I'm gonna stand

0:18:55.720 --> 0:18:58.080
<v Speaker 1>on business too. No, literally, like that was like I

0:18:58.119 --> 0:18:59.840
<v Speaker 1>felt like that was the thought process. Like she was like,

0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:03.800
<v Speaker 1>wait a minute if Yady got away with it. It

0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:06.040
<v Speaker 1>was like literally something like that. And then my mom

0:19:06.119 --> 0:19:08.520
<v Speaker 1>at that point, you were like, girl, she threw She

0:19:08.760 --> 0:19:12.000
<v Speaker 1>just was like like she was just like, yeah, you

0:19:12.040 --> 0:19:12.840
<v Speaker 1>guys are stressing her.

0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:15.240
<v Speaker 2>Und It's just it was just too much. So two

0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:18.200
<v Speaker 2>out of three, yeah, okay, the third one didn't do it.

0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:20.600
<v Speaker 1>The third one no, but the third one had her

0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:23.120
<v Speaker 1>own own set of issues. She she just passed away

0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:28.400
<v Speaker 1>in December. I'm sorry, and you know she she my sister,

0:19:28.760 --> 0:19:32.280
<v Speaker 1>my oldest, had a really hard life. She struggled with

0:19:32.560 --> 0:19:36.080
<v Speaker 1>her mental health. She was like diagnosed pretty late with

0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:40.439
<v Speaker 1>bipolar disorder. Like you know, women get diagnosed with mental

0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:45.600
<v Speaker 1>health disorders such as like ADHD bipolar really late in life.

0:19:47.359 --> 0:19:49.480
<v Speaker 1>They just kind of say, oh, she's the trouble maker.

0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:51.679
<v Speaker 1>Like she's just the trouble maker. She's she's a hot

0:19:51.760 --> 0:19:54.240
<v Speaker 1>head or like whatever, and like usually those symptoms go

0:19:55.320 --> 0:19:58.680
<v Speaker 1>go what do you call it unnoticed or just like

0:19:58.760 --> 0:20:02.879
<v Speaker 1>swept on the rug, you know. So yeah, she you know,

0:20:03.280 --> 0:20:06.800
<v Speaker 1>struggled with her weight as well. As a teen, she

0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:10.240
<v Speaker 1>was pretty obese and then she had like the surgery

0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:15.080
<v Speaker 1>and like but then she got addicted to drugs and alcohol,

0:20:15.520 --> 0:20:18.639
<v Speaker 1>and then well that's not good for them if she

0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:21.399
<v Speaker 1>if she had bipolar exactly, it was if she couldn't

0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:25.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, people who have bipolar, so you cannot participate

0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:27.440
<v Speaker 1>in those things. You know, you can't even smoke weed

0:20:27.560 --> 0:20:31.800
<v Speaker 1>low key. Yeah. So and that was going undetected for

0:20:32.119 --> 0:20:36.880
<v Speaker 1>that whole time. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah yeah. So then yeah,

0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:42.720
<v Speaker 1>she passed away an overdose this past December, and since then,

0:20:42.800 --> 0:20:45.159
<v Speaker 1>I definitely have had to be like step up and

0:20:45.280 --> 0:20:49.639
<v Speaker 1>be the matriarch of my family, be the the person

0:20:49.720 --> 0:20:52.480
<v Speaker 1>who takes care of it, looks after my mother. And

0:20:52.600 --> 0:20:54.560
<v Speaker 1>it's isn't that crazy how I'm the I'm the baby,

0:20:54.720 --> 0:20:57.119
<v Speaker 1>I'm the youngest. Wow, yeah, you know, but that was

0:20:57.200 --> 0:21:01.239
<v Speaker 1>your oldest, right, Yeah, that's my oldest. Yeah, and then

0:21:01.320 --> 0:21:03.920
<v Speaker 1>I imagine your mom took it really hard. Yeah, it's

0:21:04.040 --> 0:21:08.120
<v Speaker 1>it's it's it's been hard. I mean it's been hard.

0:21:08.160 --> 0:21:11.520
<v Speaker 1>It's been hard for you know, grief doesn't go away,

0:21:11.880 --> 0:21:14.800
<v Speaker 1>like you just learned to live with it and it

0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:18.840
<v Speaker 1>becomes something else. I think over time, because there's a

0:21:18.880 --> 0:21:20.920
<v Speaker 1>moment I mean it's fresh, Like there's still moments where

0:21:20.920 --> 0:21:22.600
<v Speaker 1>I like, I'll listen to a song that she liked,

0:21:22.600 --> 0:21:24.719
<v Speaker 1>and then I'll like start fucking crying in the car

0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:26.879
<v Speaker 1>while I'm driving, and shit, you know, just thinking and

0:21:26.960 --> 0:21:29.760
<v Speaker 1>what I think about the most really is like what

0:21:29.880 --> 0:21:32.840
<v Speaker 1>a hard life she had. More than anything else, it

0:21:32.960 --> 0:21:36.160
<v Speaker 1>just makes me feel so like bad. You know. Yeah,

0:21:36.760 --> 0:21:39.320
<v Speaker 1>I was talking with Van Laythan.

0:21:39.359 --> 0:21:41.680
<v Speaker 2>I was talking to him about trauma, because what that's

0:21:41.920 --> 0:21:45.720
<v Speaker 2>that's a trum Like everyone that's around that situation that

0:21:45.800 --> 0:21:48.840
<v Speaker 2>happened to your sister is that's a that's a trauma, right,

0:21:49.280 --> 0:21:51.840
<v Speaker 2>And I was asking him like do people can people

0:21:51.960 --> 0:21:55.040
<v Speaker 2>grow get like, can you survive trauma? And he goes

0:21:55.560 --> 0:21:57.320
<v Speaker 2>he said something really interesting. He's like, you know how

0:21:57.359 --> 0:22:00.000
<v Speaker 2>the rings are in a tree. He's like, they don't

0:22:00.119 --> 0:22:02.680
<v Speaker 2>go anywhere. The tree can still grow over it. He's like,

0:22:02.760 --> 0:22:04.520
<v Speaker 2>but that trauma still lives there.

0:22:04.680 --> 0:22:04.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:22:05.040 --> 0:22:07.760
<v Speaker 2>So it's like when you say you hear that song, well,

0:22:07.760 --> 0:22:09.920
<v Speaker 2>I mean it's still recent, but I'm just saying, like,

0:22:10.680 --> 0:22:13.760
<v Speaker 2>I feel like kind of just resonating with what you

0:22:13.840 --> 0:22:16.119
<v Speaker 2>said in regards to like grief being a while, Like

0:22:17.280 --> 0:22:20.800
<v Speaker 2>that's a very traumatic like that's a very traumatic experience

0:22:20.880 --> 0:22:23.600
<v Speaker 2>you have, so like just learning to how to kind

0:22:23.640 --> 0:22:25.960
<v Speaker 2>of be a tree and grow around the ring, but

0:22:26.160 --> 0:22:29.400
<v Speaker 2>knowing that that ring is like probably not going.

0:22:29.400 --> 0:22:35.399
<v Speaker 1>To go it anywhere, right, Yeah, yeah, exactly, And you

0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:39.720
<v Speaker 1>know it's just been then my other sister, I'm a

0:22:39.880 --> 0:22:43.320
<v Speaker 1>very big wellness advocate. We're jumping a little bit, but

0:22:43.880 --> 0:22:47.399
<v Speaker 1>you know, I've found a Dolly mama because of just

0:22:47.480 --> 0:22:50.680
<v Speaker 1>my upbringing. So my other sister who had the who

0:22:51.040 --> 0:22:57.320
<v Speaker 1>she's the middle child, she has schizophrenia. She developed schizophrenia

0:22:57.400 --> 0:23:00.440
<v Speaker 1>later in her life, in her late twenties, and she's

0:23:00.480 --> 0:23:04.840
<v Speaker 1>been struggling with also adapting to that. And I literally

0:23:05.000 --> 0:23:07.680
<v Speaker 1>just had to help, you know, get her proper care

0:23:07.800 --> 0:23:10.400
<v Speaker 1>and stuff. And so that's two sisters down.

0:23:11.040 --> 0:23:13.840
<v Speaker 2>And where did where in this story did you go?

0:23:13.920 --> 0:23:21.120
<v Speaker 2>Because you're living in New York right and then yeah,

0:23:21.160 --> 0:23:22.880
<v Speaker 2>wait wait, I don't want to skip too much around.

0:23:22.920 --> 0:23:26.680
<v Speaker 2>So you're living in New York because now it's you're you,

0:23:26.960 --> 0:23:30.560
<v Speaker 2>You became the matriarch. It sounds like later later now

0:23:30.760 --> 0:23:31.080
<v Speaker 2>all right?

0:23:31.160 --> 0:23:33.639
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Now and your your where does your mom live now?

0:23:34.080 --> 0:23:48.800
<v Speaker 1>She's back in New York? Still? Okay? Yeah, all right,

0:23:48.880 --> 0:23:56.000
<v Speaker 1>take me back to how you end up here? For sure?

0:23:57.240 --> 0:24:04.919
<v Speaker 1>So high school graduated, stand on business, stood on business.

0:24:06.960 --> 0:24:09.760
<v Speaker 1>I've talked about this before through my cooking series on

0:24:09.920 --> 0:24:12.680
<v Speaker 1>on Instagram. But my the father of my daughter, my

0:24:12.760 --> 0:24:18.640
<v Speaker 1>baby father, also unfortunately got addicted to drugs as well

0:24:18.760 --> 0:24:22.560
<v Speaker 1>after my daughter was a shoes too, and you know

0:24:22.680 --> 0:24:24.920
<v Speaker 1>the street drug angel does, right, Yeah, oh that's a

0:24:24.960 --> 0:24:27.920
<v Speaker 1>dangerous one. That's a bad one. Yeah, So it really

0:24:28.480 --> 0:24:31.720
<v Speaker 1>slowed down his development and so he just hasn't hasn't

0:24:31.720 --> 0:24:35.000
<v Speaker 1>been able to bounce back since. So when that happened,

0:24:37.880 --> 0:24:39.720
<v Speaker 1>I had to That's when it clicked for me like

0:24:39.840 --> 0:24:42.119
<v Speaker 1>oh shit, like I'm doing this ship like on my

0:24:42.240 --> 0:24:45.280
<v Speaker 1>own Loki, you know what I mean. And then that

0:24:45.440 --> 0:24:52.640
<v Speaker 1>hasn't been tough because yeah, yeah, So then I had

0:24:52.720 --> 0:24:55.480
<v Speaker 1>prom so prom came around that this is pivotal prom

0:24:55.600 --> 0:24:57.520
<v Speaker 1>came around. I couldn't afford prom, you know they make

0:24:57.600 --> 0:24:59.760
<v Speaker 1>you buy these packages and ship and all that stuff.

0:24:59.760 --> 0:25:02.960
<v Speaker 1>I afford it, and I was kind of dipping into

0:25:03.200 --> 0:25:05.200
<v Speaker 1>music videos at that time. I had did my first

0:25:05.320 --> 0:25:07.680
<v Speaker 1>music video when I was seventeen and I was a

0:25:07.760 --> 0:25:10.119
<v Speaker 1>junior in high school, right, so it was like a

0:25:10.200 --> 0:25:12.680
<v Speaker 1>pretty big deal was on TV and stuff. So everybody

0:25:12.800 --> 0:25:15.720
<v Speaker 1>was like, oh my god, Like it was just like

0:25:15.800 --> 0:25:18.080
<v Speaker 1>the teen mom who's like also a video it's just like,

0:25:18.160 --> 0:25:19.520
<v Speaker 1>what is going on? It's a lot.

0:25:19.640 --> 0:25:24.280
<v Speaker 2>But hey, hey, hey hey the girls was probably hating

0:25:24.320 --> 0:25:27.440
<v Speaker 2>on you'd amazing.

0:25:27.800 --> 0:25:31.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I do a baby boy sometimes that

0:25:31.160 --> 0:25:35.440
<v Speaker 1>was awkward. I like it, okay, so you yeah, I

0:25:35.640 --> 0:25:38.200
<v Speaker 1>like it. So what happens at the problem when you

0:25:38.280 --> 0:25:41.399
<v Speaker 1>realize you can't afford it? Okay, here we go. Okay,

0:25:41.520 --> 0:25:44.440
<v Speaker 1>So I have met this this guy who did like

0:25:44.520 --> 0:25:47.760
<v Speaker 1>bts for music videos, who was also like knew a

0:25:47.800 --> 0:25:51.280
<v Speaker 1>lot of dancers strippers. So I was like, yo, I

0:25:51.400 --> 0:25:53.800
<v Speaker 1>need to make some money real quick. Can you take

0:25:53.880 --> 0:25:55.639
<v Speaker 1>me to the strip club so I can make some

0:25:55.760 --> 0:25:57.800
<v Speaker 1>money for prom? Oh? You trying to get your prom

0:25:57.840 --> 0:25:58.680
<v Speaker 1>and murder? You got it?

0:26:01.160 --> 0:26:02.159
<v Speaker 2>I was gonna kill you.

0:26:02.680 --> 0:26:06.560
<v Speaker 1>Let's balls. What is going on with this girl? Okay? No,

0:26:06.760 --> 0:26:08.439
<v Speaker 1>I get it though. I would I ain't gonna lie.

0:26:08.520 --> 0:26:10.520
<v Speaker 2>If I look like you and had the body that

0:26:10.720 --> 0:26:12.960
<v Speaker 2>you had, I would have been like for sure, and

0:26:13.040 --> 0:26:14.080
<v Speaker 2>I need to make some money.

0:26:14.160 --> 0:26:16.400
<v Speaker 1>I would have done the same, not no no lies.

0:26:16.600 --> 0:26:20.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah okay. So and you had a baby too, so yeah,

0:26:21.680 --> 0:26:24.560
<v Speaker 1>so I was like he was like yeah. I was

0:26:24.680 --> 0:26:29.800
<v Speaker 1>like yeah, and he was like okay, come on. So

0:26:29.960 --> 0:26:32.560
<v Speaker 1>he took me to some hole in the wall and

0:26:32.680 --> 0:26:35.960
<v Speaker 1>Hunt's Point, right, oh, Ship, I didn't measure this hold on, y'all. See,

0:26:36.000 --> 0:26:38.880
<v Speaker 1>this is why I'm gonna use your hilarious use it cook.

0:26:39.920 --> 0:26:43.960
<v Speaker 1>This story is just se so Juste's story. I'm gonna

0:26:43.960 --> 0:26:47.280
<v Speaker 1>have to write a book. You have to, yo. This

0:26:47.400 --> 0:26:48.400
<v Speaker 1>story sounds really good.

0:26:48.960 --> 0:26:51.640
<v Speaker 2>By the way, there's like I'm like, yo, I can't

0:26:51.880 --> 0:26:54.560
<v Speaker 2>and it's crazy because I can't, like miss your I

0:26:54.680 --> 0:26:56.760
<v Speaker 2>have to remember the little milestones that you say.

0:26:57.000 --> 0:26:59.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but all right, so you go to the strip.

0:26:59.840 --> 0:27:02.280
<v Speaker 1>How was this guy that's like helping you out? Old

0:27:02.400 --> 0:27:04.720
<v Speaker 1>dude man got out of jail, and Ship lives in

0:27:04.800 --> 0:27:12.400
<v Speaker 1>the projects telling your hotels. So so he's like yeah, yeah,

0:27:12.440 --> 0:27:15.400
<v Speaker 1>So he takes me to this like strip club, hold

0:27:15.400 --> 0:27:17.680
<v Speaker 1>in the warm Hunts Point in the Bronx. You know,

0:27:17.800 --> 0:27:22.199
<v Speaker 1>Hunt's Point. Hunts Point is not good. I don't need

0:27:22.240 --> 0:27:24.600
<v Speaker 1>to be a hunts Point. Yeah. Yeah, So I'm like,

0:27:25.040 --> 0:27:30.399
<v Speaker 1>let's do it, and he takes me and he's like, yo,

0:27:30.600 --> 0:27:32.960
<v Speaker 1>Like it literally was like a movie looking back on

0:27:33.040 --> 0:27:34.760
<v Speaker 1>it now, but I was in it. So when you're

0:27:34.840 --> 0:27:36.639
<v Speaker 1>in it, you're not looking at it like your old

0:27:36.720 --> 0:27:40.320
<v Speaker 1>dangerous situation. So he was like Yo, this's my little sis, like,

0:27:40.440 --> 0:27:42.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, trying some money, like make sure you look

0:27:42.240 --> 0:27:48.920
<v Speaker 1>after her, So like, come on, make sure you look

0:27:49.000 --> 0:27:54.960
<v Speaker 1>after her. And I was like and then I just

0:27:55.000 --> 0:27:56.720
<v Speaker 1>like went on stage and I was like doing my

0:27:56.760 --> 0:27:59.480
<v Speaker 1>little bullshit dance because I definitely did not know how

0:27:59.520 --> 0:28:02.520
<v Speaker 1>to pull the Yeah, and I made like two hundred

0:28:02.520 --> 0:28:05.120
<v Speaker 1>three hundred dollars that night or something like that. Yeah,

0:28:05.320 --> 0:28:08.640
<v Speaker 1>money for a teenager. Hell. So I was like, when

0:28:08.680 --> 0:28:14.240
<v Speaker 1>I come back, I did I don't know what I

0:28:14.280 --> 0:28:15.879
<v Speaker 1>want to say. Yeah. So at the time I was

0:28:15.920 --> 0:28:18.720
<v Speaker 1>working at Children's Place retail. Oh yeah, I.

0:28:18.760 --> 0:28:21.840
<v Speaker 2>Definitely would have never been back. My mom would be like,

0:28:21.880 --> 0:28:25.960
<v Speaker 2>where is she at? You lucky the rings weren't around,

0:28:26.000 --> 0:28:27.320
<v Speaker 2>you know where you put the GPS dragging?

0:28:27.400 --> 0:28:30.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god. But listen, my mom ended up finding

0:28:30.640 --> 0:28:34.119
<v Speaker 1>out later and she just laughed because at this point

0:28:34.240 --> 0:28:37.840
<v Speaker 1>I just feel like she was just like, Yo, you're nuts, bro,

0:28:38.120 --> 0:28:41.640
<v Speaker 1>Like you know, she's She's like, I'm laughing because I'm

0:28:41.640 --> 0:28:48.040
<v Speaker 1>about to kill you, like you seconds second, I'm sad. No,

0:28:48.320 --> 0:28:52.000
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I ended up going back, and I actually

0:28:52.600 --> 0:28:56.600
<v Speaker 1>was a stripper for like two years. I did it

0:28:58.000 --> 0:29:00.640
<v Speaker 1>after high school. I continued to but then at the

0:29:00.720 --> 0:29:04.080
<v Speaker 1>time at the same time simultaneously, and your mom found

0:29:04.120 --> 0:29:08.840
<v Speaker 1>out how long into the stripping, oh, maybe like a year,

0:29:08.960 --> 0:29:10.800
<v Speaker 1>and she kind of like found the outfits in my

0:29:11.040 --> 0:29:12.240
<v Speaker 1>in my closet, Like, you know.

0:29:12.920 --> 0:29:15.760
<v Speaker 2>You're not good at hiding, You're terrible. I would have

0:29:15.880 --> 0:29:18.560
<v Speaker 2>hit that shit in the back of a freezer or something.

0:29:20.640 --> 0:29:25.000
<v Speaker 1>So she found it. I was just like, what does

0:29:25.040 --> 0:29:30.680
<v Speaker 1>that mean. She's like, you're poll dancing. I was like, yeah,

0:29:31.520 --> 0:29:33.800
<v Speaker 1>earned some extra cash, and she was just like, oh

0:29:34.000 --> 0:29:37.120
<v Speaker 1>my goodness. And then she mentioned college. She was like,

0:29:37.200 --> 0:29:40.719
<v Speaker 1>you need to go to college. And then I'm just curious.

0:29:41.600 --> 0:29:45.160
<v Speaker 2>It sounds like drugs were very relevant and probably popular

0:29:45.320 --> 0:29:47.920
<v Speaker 2>if you're even if your baby daddy starts doing angel.

0:29:48.240 --> 0:29:51.320
<v Speaker 1>So I'm curious, like what stopped you or did you

0:29:51.600 --> 0:29:57.760
<v Speaker 1>ever partake in the drugs? See? So I not definitely

0:29:58.480 --> 0:30:02.360
<v Speaker 1>not that stuff, you know what I mean. I love weed, okay, okay,

0:30:03.240 --> 0:30:09.720
<v Speaker 1>but but even in the strip clubs like that, Yeah, no, no,

0:30:10.000 --> 0:30:12.160
<v Speaker 1>it is, it is. It is. And I actually didn't

0:30:12.240 --> 0:30:15.440
<v Speaker 1>because I was scared because of what I saw it

0:30:15.640 --> 0:30:19.840
<v Speaker 1>due to my baby daddy because he was tweaking, you know,

0:30:20.080 --> 0:30:22.600
<v Speaker 1>and my sister, my older sister, you know what I mean.

0:30:22.960 --> 0:30:24.720
<v Speaker 1>I was. I just was scared to like not be

0:30:24.840 --> 0:30:27.560
<v Speaker 1>in control, so I just didn't really want to participate.

0:30:27.720 --> 0:30:29.959
<v Speaker 1>So I actually was pretty good about that. Yeah, they

0:30:30.000 --> 0:30:33.959
<v Speaker 1>scared you straight pretty much. Yeah. I just would drink though.

0:30:34.160 --> 0:30:36.560
<v Speaker 1>I would drink a little bit to just kind of

0:30:36.600 --> 0:30:39.160
<v Speaker 1>take the edge off, which is also just very unhealthy obviously,

0:30:39.400 --> 0:30:42.120
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean. But you were like extremely stressed,

0:30:42.160 --> 0:30:45.640
<v Speaker 1>like imagine a fifteen year old or seventeen or seventeen

0:30:45.720 --> 0:30:47.560
<v Speaker 1>year old ege eighteen. Now did you end up going

0:30:47.560 --> 0:30:49.800
<v Speaker 1>to prom by the way I did? Okay? Good? You

0:30:49.880 --> 0:30:52.840
<v Speaker 1>stand on business, okay, mad respect, But you're also from

0:30:52.920 --> 0:30:56.680
<v Speaker 1>New York, so I'm not. Yeah, okay. And it's so

0:30:56.720 --> 0:30:58.640
<v Speaker 1>funny because when you were calling a nine one seven

0:30:59.120 --> 0:31:01.360
<v Speaker 1>for social reason, I did not think you were a

0:31:01.400 --> 0:31:03.240
<v Speaker 1>New Yorker. And then the second you said it, I

0:31:03.320 --> 0:31:09.520
<v Speaker 1>said her number was nine one seven. Okay, So you

0:31:10.400 --> 0:31:10.960
<v Speaker 1>so your.

0:31:10.960 --> 0:31:13.719
<v Speaker 2>Mom just kind of rolls with the punches like at

0:31:13.720 --> 0:31:16.360
<v Speaker 2>this point, I can't control her, so right, okay, right,

0:31:16.960 --> 0:31:18.880
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, and you're paying the bills at this

0:31:18.920 --> 0:31:20.800
<v Speaker 2>point because you really making money? Yeah, yeah, I was

0:31:20.840 --> 0:31:23.200
<v Speaker 2>looking after my daughter and I was like putting down,

0:31:23.320 --> 0:31:28.360
<v Speaker 2>you know, So okay, so what we're what's next to?

0:31:28.520 --> 0:31:28.920
<v Speaker 1>So much?

0:31:29.080 --> 0:31:31.720
<v Speaker 2>So you go, you you do two years of the

0:31:31.880 --> 0:31:36.080
<v Speaker 2>stripping and your taking care of business. Okay, you graduated

0:31:36.200 --> 0:31:37.920
<v Speaker 2>and then graduate high school.

0:31:39.000 --> 0:31:43.040
<v Speaker 1>Then I at this point two years then I'm deep

0:31:43.120 --> 0:31:46.440
<v Speaker 1>in as well in the music video I Guess World.

0:31:47.160 --> 0:31:49.040
<v Speaker 1>Then did a few music videos, and I had a

0:31:49.080 --> 0:31:52.120
<v Speaker 1>platform on Twitter. That was when Twitter first came out.

0:31:52.320 --> 0:31:55.840
<v Speaker 1>So that's when like the whole having an audience, having

0:31:56.320 --> 0:32:01.080
<v Speaker 1>a following became a thing. Yeah, and natural way of things.

0:32:01.960 --> 0:32:04.040
<v Speaker 1>People started like following me a lot because they kept

0:32:04.080 --> 0:32:08.120
<v Speaker 1>seeing that girl in the videos. Hence now the popularity

0:32:08.920 --> 0:32:13.360
<v Speaker 1>from them that yeah, okay, okay, what videos were you in?

0:32:14.960 --> 0:32:19.440
<v Speaker 1>So I throcking that thing? The dream I did like

0:32:19.920 --> 0:32:23.160
<v Speaker 1>French Montana was the biggest one, the shock collar one.

0:32:23.440 --> 0:32:25.200
<v Speaker 1>What's the one that I think everybody knows me from

0:32:25.240 --> 0:32:28.080
<v Speaker 1>the most. Okay. And then when you were doing those,

0:32:28.360 --> 0:32:30.800
<v Speaker 1>how did that impact you in any way good or bad?

0:32:31.480 --> 0:32:32.960
<v Speaker 1>Like the bed like you know, if you had to

0:32:33.000 --> 0:32:40.800
<v Speaker 1>be look, I mean honestly, I just like I realized that,

0:32:41.400 --> 0:32:47.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, women are just so undervalued, mistreated, treated as commodities,

0:32:47.840 --> 0:32:53.240
<v Speaker 1>as objects, you know, and although yeah, I was making

0:32:53.280 --> 0:32:56.080
<v Speaker 1>money from my looks. I felt like I had so

0:32:56.200 --> 0:32:58.240
<v Speaker 1>much more to share, so much more to talk about,

0:32:58.320 --> 0:33:00.520
<v Speaker 1>so much more, Like this was just me trying to

0:33:00.560 --> 0:33:02.320
<v Speaker 1>make some money on the side. Like I wasn't like

0:33:02.480 --> 0:33:04.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna be the world's best video box and it

0:33:04.520 --> 0:33:05.840
<v Speaker 1>was just really like I was trying to make some

0:33:05.960 --> 0:33:08.000
<v Speaker 1>dough on the side, you know, and everybody was like

0:33:08.080 --> 0:33:10.520
<v Speaker 1>you're you're super thick and Kurby like you should do it.

0:33:10.760 --> 0:33:14.080
<v Speaker 1>And obviously those women I grew up looking at music videos.

0:33:14.200 --> 0:33:15.800
<v Speaker 1>I was like, damn, one day, I want to be

0:33:15.960 --> 0:33:18.160
<v Speaker 1>like her, like, you know. So it was it was

0:33:18.360 --> 0:33:20.280
<v Speaker 1>very cool when I was in it. It was it

0:33:20.400 --> 0:33:23.160
<v Speaker 1>was fun, you know, I got to travel. But then

0:33:23.200 --> 0:33:25.000
<v Speaker 1>there was also that side of it that I just

0:33:25.080 --> 0:33:29.120
<v Speaker 1>felt like just super dismissed and pushed under the rug

0:33:29.200 --> 0:33:34.720
<v Speaker 1>and not not seeing that valued. Yeah. Yeah, I did.

0:33:35.120 --> 0:33:37.120
<v Speaker 2>H When I first moved to LA, I did, like

0:33:37.240 --> 0:33:39.680
<v Speaker 2>soul trained, God, please God, I hope I shouldn't have

0:33:39.680 --> 0:33:42.240
<v Speaker 2>even confessed this, and I did. I think it was

0:33:42.280 --> 0:33:45.280
<v Speaker 2>like fifty cents in the club and I just and

0:33:45.400 --> 0:33:48.600
<v Speaker 2>I did, like I think Eric Sherman did the Redman

0:33:48.800 --> 0:33:52.320
<v Speaker 2>a song, and uh, but Anyways, what I had seen

0:33:52.400 --> 0:33:55.960
<v Speaker 2>in the industry was like they were just definitely predators.

0:33:56.120 --> 0:33:58.320
<v Speaker 1>It was just it was a predator chilled.

0:33:59.000 --> 0:34:03.160
<v Speaker 2>You just couldn't trust for anybody really, and it's it's

0:34:03.280 --> 0:34:05.280
<v Speaker 2>like literally it was like I walked in one door

0:34:05.320 --> 0:34:08.759
<v Speaker 2>and was like I'm walking out the other because the

0:34:08.880 --> 0:34:11.200
<v Speaker 2>dudes were just so obnoxious and it wasn't ever like

0:34:11.320 --> 0:34:16.120
<v Speaker 2>the main talent. It was like whatever whoever, whatever guy

0:34:16.280 --> 0:34:19.280
<v Speaker 2>was in the background affiliated with the main.

0:34:19.360 --> 0:34:22.720
<v Speaker 1>Yes, trying to get trying to get you. I definitely

0:34:22.880 --> 0:34:25.560
<v Speaker 1>had my share of that when I was in it.

0:34:26.200 --> 0:34:27.840
<v Speaker 1>Just men that were like, oh, like you're trying to

0:34:27.840 --> 0:34:29.560
<v Speaker 1>be in this news video and I'm like, bro, it's

0:34:29.719 --> 0:34:34.400
<v Speaker 1>never that deep, Like, never that deep. Yeah, it was

0:34:34.480 --> 0:34:36.880
<v Speaker 1>never that deep. Like you know, I will say it,

0:34:37.200 --> 0:34:41.640
<v Speaker 1>I was definitely prayed on, that's the word. But I

0:34:41.760 --> 0:34:47.640
<v Speaker 1>will say that like I was. I wasn't I wasn't down. Yeah. Well,

0:34:47.680 --> 0:34:48.200
<v Speaker 1>I think too.

0:34:48.280 --> 0:34:51.200
<v Speaker 2>If you've been approached a million one time, I think

0:34:51.239 --> 0:34:53.880
<v Speaker 2>it's easier to say no, right, you'd be like, Okay,

0:34:54.960 --> 0:34:57.840
<v Speaker 2>let's see this this, what's your what's your I was

0:34:57.880 --> 0:34:59.880
<v Speaker 2>thinking about this the other day, like I've been with

0:35:00.280 --> 0:35:03.759
<v Speaker 2>the Christian guy the bad boy, the older guy, the

0:35:03.880 --> 0:35:06.960
<v Speaker 2>younger guy. And I was like, yo, all of them

0:35:07.000 --> 0:35:09.520
<v Speaker 2>are just the same guy, just dressed in different on

0:35:09.560 --> 0:35:10.040
<v Speaker 2>the outfits.

0:35:10.160 --> 0:35:10.799
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying.

0:35:11.080 --> 0:35:13.239
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, gets to a more where it's just like now

0:35:13.280 --> 0:35:15.239
<v Speaker 2>I just need reference checks. Give me your three ex

0:35:15.320 --> 0:35:18.520
<v Speaker 2>girlfriend's numbers, you know right, I will go from there.

0:35:19.440 --> 0:35:23.080
<v Speaker 2>So after this, after the is this when you start update?

0:35:23.400 --> 0:35:24.919
<v Speaker 1>Do you want an update on the dish? I'm about

0:35:24.920 --> 0:35:28.319
<v Speaker 1>to cover it. Yeah, I saw you put bullion in it, cilantro. Yeah,

0:35:28.360 --> 0:35:30.760
<v Speaker 1>give me the update. It looks really delicious by the Okay,

0:35:31.160 --> 0:35:36.120
<v Speaker 1>so right now the rice has soaked up the water.

0:35:36.560 --> 0:35:39.960
<v Speaker 1>The chicken is pretty much cooked, because now it's just

0:35:40.040 --> 0:35:42.440
<v Speaker 1>the last bit of it of the cooking when the

0:35:42.520 --> 0:35:44.960
<v Speaker 1>rice cooks with it. If that makes sense? Am I

0:35:45.000 --> 0:35:47.400
<v Speaker 1>speaking English? Sometimes I don't even know if I'm talking English.

0:35:48.320 --> 0:35:50.120
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, now I'm gonna cover it. I put some

0:35:50.239 --> 0:35:53.759
<v Speaker 1>cilantro in it, and we're gonna lower the fire. I

0:35:53.840 --> 0:35:55.839
<v Speaker 1>was gonna say that fires up high. Yeah, we're gonna

0:35:55.840 --> 0:35:59.400
<v Speaker 1>lower the fire. I'm just waiting for the I got

0:35:59.520 --> 0:36:02.040
<v Speaker 1>nervous and that plastic flew over to that electric gun.

0:36:03.200 --> 0:36:05.520
<v Speaker 1>All right. I just don't want the rice to car

0:36:05.560 --> 0:36:08.040
<v Speaker 1>I feel like, you know what, I wonder if do

0:36:08.160 --> 0:36:10.680
<v Speaker 1>Puerto Ricans make this dish? Yeah? I feel like I've

0:36:10.719 --> 0:36:12.680
<v Speaker 1>had this at my homegirl, I'm sure you have.

0:36:13.680 --> 0:36:16.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm just I'm genuinely like, I wonder how spicy it's

0:36:16.480 --> 0:36:19.080
<v Speaker 2>gonna be because I smelled that it's not spicy at all.

0:36:19.440 --> 0:36:21.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna try it. It looks good, it looks like

0:36:21.920 --> 0:36:25.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna get leftovers. Yeah, okay, all right, So is

0:36:26.200 --> 0:36:27.960
<v Speaker 2>this at this point? Are you still you needed a

0:36:28.000 --> 0:36:31.600
<v Speaker 2>neighbor and look at you, you totally needed I'm.

0:36:31.640 --> 0:36:35.279
<v Speaker 1>So glad because I was gonna ruin my fick. God

0:36:35.400 --> 0:36:39.359
<v Speaker 1>that so you at this point, you're still in New

0:36:39.440 --> 0:36:43.040
<v Speaker 1>York doing all of this stuff. Yes, I'm still in

0:36:43.040 --> 0:36:48.400
<v Speaker 1>New York doing all this stuff. You know. Are you

0:36:48.440 --> 0:36:50.880
<v Speaker 1>still with your baby daddy during all of this? No? No, no,

0:36:51.239 --> 0:36:54.960
<v Speaker 1>I Me and my baby daddy were done when I

0:36:55.160 --> 0:37:02.359
<v Speaker 1>was a two. Okay, around that time, we I had

0:37:02.520 --> 0:37:07.800
<v Speaker 1>ended it because it was definitely like just unhealthy and

0:37:08.000 --> 0:37:11.840
<v Speaker 1>it wasn't it wasn't even safe anymore, and it was

0:37:12.000 --> 0:37:16.000
<v Speaker 1>just like, yeah, no, you know, we had a plan

0:37:16.200 --> 0:37:18.279
<v Speaker 1>and like you ain't stick to the plan. Bro, Yeah,

0:37:18.360 --> 0:37:21.400
<v Speaker 1>he wasn't on business. Wasn't standing on business. That's my

0:37:21.560 --> 0:37:22.800
<v Speaker 1>term for today. I stay on business.

0:37:23.719 --> 0:37:26.160
<v Speaker 2>Change my name in all your phones if you have

0:37:26.239 --> 0:37:27.720
<v Speaker 2>my number, that I stand on business.

0:37:28.280 --> 0:37:31.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Yeah, I like that. I do that too. Yeah.

0:37:32.280 --> 0:37:35.440
<v Speaker 2>So now you're a single mom, you're totally now are

0:37:35.520 --> 0:37:37.799
<v Speaker 2>you still living with your mom? Are you guys all

0:37:37.920 --> 0:37:39.879
<v Speaker 2>like sticking together as one solid team?

0:37:40.080 --> 0:37:43.120
<v Speaker 1>Yes. So my mother but being the amazing mom that

0:37:43.239 --> 0:37:47.279
<v Speaker 1>she is, she once that she saw like obviously she's

0:37:47.280 --> 0:37:50.400
<v Speaker 1>gonna have grandkids. She I don't know how she did it,

0:37:50.560 --> 0:37:52.960
<v Speaker 1>but she always surprises me. Moves into like a bigger

0:37:53.000 --> 0:37:56.239
<v Speaker 1>apartment so that we each have her I love her.

0:37:56.440 --> 0:37:59.080
<v Speaker 1>I love her, Okay, I love her. She moves to

0:37:59.280 --> 0:38:01.879
<v Speaker 1>a big apartment where we each have our own room

0:38:02.400 --> 0:38:05.279
<v Speaker 1>so that we could each have our room with our kid. Awesome. Yeah.

0:38:05.640 --> 0:38:07.960
<v Speaker 1>So and then my oldest sister had her room, she

0:38:08.120 --> 0:38:09.800
<v Speaker 1>had a room, and then you know, she was just

0:38:09.840 --> 0:38:13.120
<v Speaker 1>such a great grand She's such a great grandmother and

0:38:14.680 --> 0:38:18.879
<v Speaker 1>just been like so supportive and yeah. So during that time,

0:38:20.280 --> 0:38:22.520
<v Speaker 1>we are I'm in New York and I'm still I'm

0:38:22.520 --> 0:38:25.279
<v Speaker 1>living with my mom. Still I move out when I'm

0:38:25.320 --> 0:38:28.080
<v Speaker 1>like our own twenty twenty one to my own place,

0:38:28.239 --> 0:38:30.920
<v Speaker 1>still very young, like you were really standing on business,

0:38:31.320 --> 0:38:33.719
<v Speaker 1>you were focused. Yeah, I like I was forced to

0:38:33.760 --> 0:38:37.920
<v Speaker 1>grow up so fast because of the responsibilities with my

0:38:38.080 --> 0:38:41.760
<v Speaker 1>child and around me. Like I feel like I absorbed everything,

0:38:41.840 --> 0:38:44.200
<v Speaker 1>and I like I watched you know, I never meant

0:38:44.239 --> 0:38:47.160
<v Speaker 1>to like cause my mom any harm by having this child.

0:38:47.239 --> 0:38:48.640
<v Speaker 1>This was just something I wanted to do.

0:38:48.880 --> 0:38:52.120
<v Speaker 2>But you were also a child making a yeah, yeah exactly,

0:38:52.440 --> 0:38:54.759
<v Speaker 2>like looking back to you, well, I don't want to

0:38:54.800 --> 0:38:58.280
<v Speaker 2>ask that question because now you have your the skipped

0:38:58.520 --> 0:39:00.000
<v Speaker 2>you know that question.

0:39:00.560 --> 0:39:02.960
<v Speaker 1>No mine mine, No. When it came out, it is

0:39:03.000 --> 0:39:03.479
<v Speaker 1>really weird.

0:39:04.000 --> 0:39:06.479
<v Speaker 2>But I'm just saying like, because you know, looking back,

0:39:06.680 --> 0:39:08.960
<v Speaker 2>like I was drunking with you earlier, Like you know,

0:39:09.080 --> 0:39:12.480
<v Speaker 2>they don't they don't tell you all the non the

0:39:12.640 --> 0:39:14.120
<v Speaker 2>realities of becoming a mom.

0:39:14.320 --> 0:39:16.279
<v Speaker 1>You know, you kind of have this vision of like

0:39:16.760 --> 0:39:18.480
<v Speaker 1>the what they show you in the movies. I'm like,

0:39:18.520 --> 0:39:21.600
<v Speaker 1>but they don't. They don't. They don't showcase that fine break.

0:39:22.080 --> 0:39:25.040
<v Speaker 2>So like looking back, the reason why I was retracting

0:39:25.080 --> 0:39:27.600
<v Speaker 2>a question is because now obviously I have a daughter too.

0:39:27.920 --> 0:39:30.040
<v Speaker 2>It's like once the you know you love your child,

0:39:30.160 --> 0:39:32.200
<v Speaker 2>obviously you would never take it back, but like you

0:39:32.400 --> 0:39:35.799
<v Speaker 2>just you really realize, like you didn't really know all

0:39:36.120 --> 0:39:36.480
<v Speaker 2>what was.

0:39:36.640 --> 0:39:40.960
<v Speaker 1>Entailed, wasn't sign of course, and it comes out. It

0:39:41.160 --> 0:39:44.120
<v Speaker 1>comes out later on and bits and pieces as you

0:39:44.400 --> 0:39:47.839
<v Speaker 1>as a child starts getting older. You know, I'm like, damn,

0:39:48.000 --> 0:39:51.240
<v Speaker 1>Like for a long time, A dealt with the guilt

0:39:51.480 --> 0:39:55.480
<v Speaker 1>of Beau I didn't grow up with a father, and

0:39:55.680 --> 0:39:57.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, damn, I didn't give my daughter that. Fuck

0:39:57.680 --> 0:40:00.279
<v Speaker 1>I was selfish, you know. I dealt with that. But

0:40:00.520 --> 0:40:02.719
<v Speaker 1>you know I've healed from that, and you know those

0:40:02.800 --> 0:40:07.399
<v Speaker 1>things are not mine to control. But you know, yeah,

0:40:07.680 --> 0:40:09.680
<v Speaker 1>it comes out and then you think, damn, I didn't

0:40:09.680 --> 0:40:13.800
<v Speaker 1>think this through. It's not just all like changing diapers

0:40:13.920 --> 0:40:17.040
<v Speaker 1>and dressing her up like a little doll. You know,

0:40:17.200 --> 0:40:20.080
<v Speaker 1>it's it's a lot more work. You're raising an actual

0:40:20.160 --> 0:40:23.680
<v Speaker 1>human being to be a decent human in this world. Yeah,

0:40:23.760 --> 0:40:25.879
<v Speaker 1>and that takes a lot of work because of all

0:40:25.920 --> 0:40:29.320
<v Speaker 1>the outside influences that we have to be up against

0:40:29.360 --> 0:40:29.880
<v Speaker 1>as parents.

0:40:30.560 --> 0:40:32.960
<v Speaker 2>You know, I always tell people the second you walk

0:40:33.040 --> 0:40:36.560
<v Speaker 2>out your front door, you're being sold to, whether it's

0:40:36.600 --> 0:40:45.160
<v Speaker 2>the car you drive, the candy, the chips at the aisle, McDonald's, whatever, billboard, sex, whatever, drugs, alcohol.

0:40:45.239 --> 0:40:48.840
<v Speaker 2>The second you step outside of those four walls, everyone's like,

0:40:49.040 --> 0:40:50.080
<v Speaker 2>give me some of your money.

0:40:50.800 --> 0:40:52.759
<v Speaker 1>And so as a parent, could you imagine you're like,

0:40:52.840 --> 0:40:55.239
<v Speaker 1>eat this home cooked meal, stay in the house.

0:40:55.520 --> 0:40:58.600
<v Speaker 2>And they're not with you when you're getting sold outside

0:40:58.840 --> 0:41:01.040
<v Speaker 2>all the time. So yeah, it's a lot of.

0:41:01.760 --> 0:41:03.560
<v Speaker 1>It's a lot. It's a lot, a lot, And yeah,

0:41:03.600 --> 0:41:06.600
<v Speaker 1>I definitely there were times where I felt really lost.

0:41:07.800 --> 0:41:09.880
<v Speaker 1>There were times where I missed a lot, you know,

0:41:10.000 --> 0:41:13.520
<v Speaker 1>from my kid as well. Because I was traveling. I

0:41:13.600 --> 0:41:18.080
<v Speaker 1>started hosting clubs. This was when Instagram then started popping

0:41:18.160 --> 0:41:20.640
<v Speaker 1>off and then the follow you know, the following count

0:41:20.719 --> 0:41:25.759
<v Speaker 1>and all that stuff started to matter. And from that

0:41:26.000 --> 0:41:27.880
<v Speaker 1>and the music video of the French Montana, I was

0:41:27.920 --> 0:41:30.879
<v Speaker 1>able to travel, you know, all of the United States

0:41:30.960 --> 0:41:33.920
<v Speaker 1>and even to the UK because they wanted to meet

0:41:33.920 --> 0:41:35.480
<v Speaker 1>the girl from the music video. It was dope. It

0:41:35.600 --> 0:41:38.160
<v Speaker 1>was like damn, wow, So they're paying you to just

0:41:38.239 --> 0:41:41.640
<v Speaker 1>be in clubs. Yeah, and this was this was an error.

0:41:41.640 --> 0:41:44.080
<v Speaker 1>Do you know I remember this. I remember when people

0:41:44.160 --> 0:41:47.200
<v Speaker 1>hosting clubs. I remember that they still do that kind

0:41:47.239 --> 0:41:50.719
<v Speaker 1>of they're still not as much, but yeah, yeah, they

0:41:50.840 --> 0:41:54.879
<v Speaker 1>do it. Yeah, but are you drinking at this time too?

0:41:55.239 --> 0:41:57.560
<v Speaker 1>Do you think that like you were starting to because

0:41:57.920 --> 0:42:01.000
<v Speaker 1>that's a that's a weird space you're in too, right, Yeah,

0:42:01.080 --> 0:42:05.520
<v Speaker 1>Like I didn't develop an addiction to alcohol, but like, yeah,

0:42:05.600 --> 0:42:08.200
<v Speaker 1>at these things, you're you're drinking. Yeah, you're at the club,

0:42:08.360 --> 0:42:10.719
<v Speaker 1>you having a drink too? Does it feel like work

0:42:10.840 --> 0:42:14.839
<v Speaker 1>as you're doing it? Yeah? Or no? You know? Young? Yeah,

0:42:14.880 --> 0:42:17.319
<v Speaker 1>I was young, and there were moments where I had

0:42:17.360 --> 0:42:19.960
<v Speaker 1>to check myself and be like, girl, like, be grateful

0:42:20.680 --> 0:42:23.160
<v Speaker 1>that you get you're making a living this way because

0:42:23.160 --> 0:42:24.759
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people work a lot harder, you know

0:42:24.840 --> 0:42:26.359
<v Speaker 1>what I'm saying. But there were moments where I would

0:42:26.400 --> 0:42:29.320
<v Speaker 1>be a bit ungrateful of the situation or whatever. But

0:42:29.880 --> 0:42:30.919
<v Speaker 1>it was a lot of fun.

0:42:31.880 --> 0:42:36.080
<v Speaker 2>And did you feel now some women like it looks

0:42:36.120 --> 0:42:39.440
<v Speaker 2>like you're just naturally you know, like fat goes and wherever.

0:42:39.719 --> 0:42:42.399
<v Speaker 2>Everybody's different where the fat goes. But did you feel

0:42:42.440 --> 0:42:44.480
<v Speaker 2>precious to maintain a certain level of beauty?

0:42:44.719 --> 0:42:49.239
<v Speaker 1>Yes? Yes, yeah, we can touch on this. So yeah, girl,

0:42:49.280 --> 0:42:52.080
<v Speaker 1>when I was in the strip club, the girls that

0:42:52.160 --> 0:42:54.680
<v Speaker 1>were making a lot of money had the big butt,

0:42:54.840 --> 0:42:59.800
<v Speaker 1>smallways ratio situation, I definitely always had a nice figure,

0:43:00.440 --> 0:43:05.759
<v Speaker 1>but I went and got as shots back in the day, yes,

0:43:06.280 --> 0:43:08.680
<v Speaker 1>and then I got them removed back in twenty sixteen

0:43:08.880 --> 0:43:13.040
<v Speaker 1>for my health that had gotten a breast augmentation as well.

0:43:13.800 --> 0:43:16.800
<v Speaker 1>And all of this was to appease the male gaze

0:43:17.080 --> 0:43:19.680
<v Speaker 1>and to make more money from the mail gaze. You

0:43:19.760 --> 0:43:22.480
<v Speaker 1>know it was it never really felt like anything was

0:43:22.560 --> 0:43:25.920
<v Speaker 1>done for me at that time, and then I had

0:43:25.960 --> 0:43:28.120
<v Speaker 1>like my awakening. Yeah, but the.

0:43:30.440 --> 0:43:33.120
<v Speaker 2>But it's I know you're saying it's for the male gates,

0:43:33.200 --> 0:43:37.000
<v Speaker 2>but I mean technically, like I've only been with you

0:43:37.120 --> 0:43:40.160
<v Speaker 2>for a little bit, but you scream entrepreneur like you

0:43:40.719 --> 0:43:43.600
<v Speaker 2>you are definitely one hundred percent entrepreneur. So it's like

0:43:43.960 --> 0:43:46.520
<v Speaker 2>you're in this industry where you're looking over and you're like, well,

0:43:46.600 --> 0:43:50.080
<v Speaker 2>the product is making more money over here, so is

0:43:50.160 --> 0:43:53.080
<v Speaker 2>it like do you think it was mail gaze or

0:43:53.160 --> 0:43:56.640
<v Speaker 2>more like, okay, if this is just a business move,

0:43:56.760 --> 0:44:00.440
<v Speaker 2>but maybe you don't realize, like how what the fine

0:44:00.520 --> 0:44:01.640
<v Speaker 2>print of the negatives?

0:44:02.239 --> 0:44:04.880
<v Speaker 1>Exactly exactly, And that's exactly how I looked at it,

0:44:05.040 --> 0:44:07.680
<v Speaker 1>Like I was like, oh, the money is over here

0:44:08.000 --> 0:44:10.680
<v Speaker 1>that you know, I'm trying to make the best money move.

0:44:11.680 --> 0:44:13.440
<v Speaker 1>So definitely looked at it like that, but then you

0:44:13.520 --> 0:44:17.560
<v Speaker 1>don't really realize what goes behind you know, closed doors,

0:44:17.600 --> 0:44:19.839
<v Speaker 1>which is just like a lot of times women doing

0:44:19.920 --> 0:44:25.480
<v Speaker 1>drugs in the locker room. Yeah, or I definitely you

0:44:25.600 --> 0:44:29.840
<v Speaker 1>know this, This happened to me twice where I got drugged.

0:44:30.280 --> 0:44:33.759
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, yeah, yeah, that's got to be like extreme scary. Yeah.

0:44:33.920 --> 0:44:35.879
<v Speaker 1>For the first time, I was able to make it home,

0:44:36.640 --> 0:44:40.200
<v Speaker 1>thank god, but it's very scary out there for real,

0:44:40.320 --> 0:44:42.120
<v Speaker 1>it was. It was really scary. The second time. It

0:44:42.239 --> 0:44:44.960
<v Speaker 1>was actually by a doctor who drugged me. I went

0:44:45.040 --> 0:44:48.239
<v Speaker 1>on a date, you know that that drug that.

0:44:48.360 --> 0:44:50.040
<v Speaker 2>Did they Yeah, where you wake up and you don't

0:44:50.080 --> 0:44:55.800
<v Speaker 2>remember were you able to like uh, like what do

0:44:55.880 --> 0:44:58.160
<v Speaker 2>you call it, like turnament or anything? Or do you

0:44:58.800 --> 0:45:01.560
<v Speaker 2>or did you go through the phase. I'm gonna just

0:45:01.600 --> 0:45:05.160
<v Speaker 2>say this just from speaking from a woman's standpoint of like, well,

0:45:05.200 --> 0:45:07.640
<v Speaker 2>if I hadn't put myself in this position, then you know,

0:45:08.040 --> 0:45:10.280
<v Speaker 2>it's like almost like it's my fault that it happened.

0:45:10.400 --> 0:45:13.200
<v Speaker 2>Of course I went through the Okay, Yeah, I definitely

0:45:13.320 --> 0:45:15.520
<v Speaker 2>did go through all of that, Like it's my fault

0:45:15.560 --> 0:45:17.520
<v Speaker 2>for putting myself in this position. But also I was

0:45:17.560 --> 0:45:19.759
<v Speaker 2>like I was like literally on a date, like yeah,

0:45:20.120 --> 0:45:20.560
<v Speaker 2>I had an.

0:45:20.600 --> 0:45:23.439
<v Speaker 1>Actual restaurant, you know. And then from then on shit

0:45:23.480 --> 0:45:25.520
<v Speaker 1>went less like I don't even you know, yeah, but

0:45:27.440 --> 0:45:30.040
<v Speaker 1>yeah I thought about it being like my fall and stuff,

0:45:30.080 --> 0:45:32.320
<v Speaker 1>and I didn't. I didn't press charges, right, Yeah, a

0:45:32.400 --> 0:45:33.879
<v Speaker 1>lot of women do that, a lot of women.

0:45:34.000 --> 0:45:37.320
<v Speaker 2>I got to a point in my twenties where I

0:45:37.680 --> 0:45:40.920
<v Speaker 2>only did breakfast in lunch dates because guy's had so

0:45:41.360 --> 0:45:44.720
<v Speaker 2>many different games of like, well we went to dinner

0:45:44.920 --> 0:45:47.520
<v Speaker 2>and like you're a tea, you're teasing me or whatever.

0:45:47.600 --> 0:45:50.200
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, yo, if I could reduce any

0:45:50.239 --> 0:45:53.800
<v Speaker 2>of these like extra stupid ass pressures like and I

0:45:53.920 --> 0:45:56.719
<v Speaker 2>remember like I would, then I started creeping up just

0:45:56.760 --> 0:45:59.080
<v Speaker 2>more to breakfast, and dudes would be like breakfast, click

0:46:00.560 --> 0:46:02.920
<v Speaker 2>fuck you. Like, but it just got to the point

0:46:02.960 --> 0:46:05.640
<v Speaker 2>where it's just like I'm sick of battling myself over

0:46:05.719 --> 0:46:09.120
<v Speaker 2>something you're doing. You know, I've been in a situation

0:46:09.160 --> 0:46:10.680
<v Speaker 2>where you're saying no to a guy and a guy's

0:46:10.760 --> 0:46:14.279
<v Speaker 2>like no, and you're like, well we're gonna am I

0:46:14.320 --> 0:46:16.279
<v Speaker 2>gonna end up like a scene on the movies, like

0:46:16.320 --> 0:46:19.120
<v Speaker 2>well you know what I'm saying, Like it's crazy out there,

0:46:19.120 --> 0:46:21.120
<v Speaker 2>and then you just start to think, I wouldn't have

0:46:21.600 --> 0:46:24.080
<v Speaker 2>if I wouldn't have put myself in this situation. Really

0:46:24.120 --> 0:46:25.880
<v Speaker 2>it's not the case. But I just remember when I

0:46:25.960 --> 0:46:28.480
<v Speaker 2>was younger, I would always go, Okay, maybe I could

0:46:28.520 --> 0:46:31.440
<v Speaker 2>try something different, but like you said, a date, a

0:46:31.560 --> 0:46:33.640
<v Speaker 2>normal setting, you don't think those things happen.

0:46:33.920 --> 0:46:37.919
<v Speaker 1>And then also, you know, you you're a doctor's fair,

0:46:38.239 --> 0:46:39.600
<v Speaker 1>he's a doctor. You know.

0:46:39.760 --> 0:46:41.640
<v Speaker 2>It's just like, actually happened to a girlfriend of mine,

0:46:41.719 --> 0:46:44.839
<v Speaker 2>like a couple of years ago, young beautiful girl, influencer,

0:46:46.040 --> 0:46:50.960
<v Speaker 2>similar situation. Hers ended pretty bad. It's scary, and it

0:46:51.040 --> 0:46:52.879
<v Speaker 2>took a lot of courage for her to come out

0:46:52.960 --> 0:46:56.319
<v Speaker 2>and like address it and you know, and still traumatize

0:46:56.360 --> 0:46:56.600
<v Speaker 2>from it.

0:46:56.760 --> 0:47:02.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, It's definitely made me just I just didn't

0:47:02.600 --> 0:47:05.160
<v Speaker 1>want to be a part of the night life world anymore,

0:47:05.520 --> 0:47:09.080
<v Speaker 1>and I wanted to do other things, and I just

0:47:09.239 --> 0:47:12.320
<v Speaker 1>wasn't sure what, you know, at the time, I was

0:47:12.360 --> 0:47:15.279
<v Speaker 1>twenty one. This is when I was done with the

0:47:15.960 --> 0:47:32.759
<v Speaker 1>strip club and hosting in videos videos. Video hosting kind

0:47:32.800 --> 0:47:35.279
<v Speaker 1>of went on still because you know, the money came,

0:47:35.360 --> 0:47:40.520
<v Speaker 1>I had to. But around this time I started to

0:47:41.440 --> 0:47:43.440
<v Speaker 1>I guess go back to the things that brought me

0:47:43.640 --> 0:47:47.840
<v Speaker 1>joy as a teen and as a child, and I

0:47:48.000 --> 0:47:51.880
<v Speaker 1>wanted to do something more for me as opposed to

0:47:52.080 --> 0:47:54.279
<v Speaker 1>just like money. I think that was like what my

0:47:55.080 --> 0:47:59.160
<v Speaker 1>thought process was at the time. And also, oh, I

0:47:59.320 --> 0:48:04.880
<v Speaker 1>was just like online so terribly. I was suicidal, uh

0:48:05.640 --> 0:48:07.960
<v Speaker 1>you know after the when I got the breast augmentation

0:48:08.040 --> 0:48:10.960
<v Speaker 1>a year later, I had like complications with it and

0:48:11.080 --> 0:48:13.719
<v Speaker 1>I needed to get them removed, and I just was

0:48:13.840 --> 0:48:16.440
<v Speaker 1>like I remember being in my like back in my

0:48:16.560 --> 0:48:18.239
<v Speaker 1>mom's house because she had to take care of me,

0:48:18.560 --> 0:48:23.680
<v Speaker 1>and I'm just thinking, like what the fuck, like yo,

0:48:24.080 --> 0:48:27.960
<v Speaker 1>like this is not it, Like none of this is it,

0:48:29.600 --> 0:48:32.359
<v Speaker 1>and I want out, and I don't know how I'm

0:48:32.400 --> 0:48:35.040
<v Speaker 1>gonna do it, but I want out, you know. And

0:48:35.160 --> 0:48:36.680
<v Speaker 1>I think I had like a you know when people

0:48:36.680 --> 0:48:38.960
<v Speaker 1>say you had an awakening, so like after that, I

0:48:39.080 --> 0:48:42.919
<v Speaker 1>was like I had an awakening, and but it was hard.

0:48:42.960 --> 0:48:44.800
<v Speaker 1>I was like also battling with my mental health. I

0:48:44.880 --> 0:48:49.759
<v Speaker 1>had severe panic attacks anxiety. I think probably definitely was

0:48:49.920 --> 0:48:53.440
<v Speaker 1>PTSD for sure, but all throughout my twenties I had

0:48:53.480 --> 0:48:55.080
<v Speaker 1>some really bad panic attacks.

0:48:55.080 --> 0:48:58.279
<v Speaker 2>Do you mind describing like what that panic attack felt like?

0:48:58.480 --> 0:49:01.040
<v Speaker 2>Just for people that don't even know if they're experiencing.

0:49:01.840 --> 0:49:06.399
<v Speaker 1>So for me, it felt like I had this fear

0:49:06.480 --> 0:49:09.000
<v Speaker 1>that I was gonna lose my mind because like I

0:49:09.120 --> 0:49:11.160
<v Speaker 1>was in my head and like you know, when you're

0:49:11.160 --> 0:49:14.279
<v Speaker 1>in your head, you're like you're almost like analyzing each

0:49:14.360 --> 0:49:17.000
<v Speaker 1>and every thought that comes into your mind, and you're

0:49:17.360 --> 0:49:20.400
<v Speaker 1>and I don't know, it drives me insane, you know

0:49:20.440 --> 0:49:22.480
<v Speaker 1>what I'm saying, Like when you're in your head, so mutch,

0:49:22.520 --> 0:49:24.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I mean I do that all the time.

0:49:25.400 --> 0:49:25.920
<v Speaker 1>I'd be, like.

0:49:27.640 --> 0:49:30.759
<v Speaker 2>I was telling Jared earlier, I'm like, Yo, people don't

0:49:30.760 --> 0:49:32.120
<v Speaker 2>need to tell me negative things about me.

0:49:32.239 --> 0:49:35.279
<v Speaker 1>I do that very good job all by myself. You

0:49:35.280 --> 0:49:38.560
<v Speaker 1>ain't gonta point out that, right, I'm the first one, like,

0:49:38.640 --> 0:49:41.520
<v Speaker 1>I'll do it. But I'm curious.

0:49:41.840 --> 0:49:44.399
<v Speaker 2>Your sisters had struggled with a little bit of meountal health.

0:49:44.960 --> 0:49:48.640
<v Speaker 2>Were did that also like make what you were going

0:49:48.680 --> 0:49:51.839
<v Speaker 2>through worse? Because or was that around the time when

0:49:52.080 --> 0:49:55.400
<v Speaker 2>you had discovered like maybe one had bipolar, one had schizophrenia,

0:49:55.400 --> 0:49:56.759
<v Speaker 2>and then you start to be in your head a

0:49:56.760 --> 0:49:58.360
<v Speaker 2>little bit more exactly?

0:49:58.680 --> 0:50:03.359
<v Speaker 1>Okay, this was at that time with the panic attacks. Yeah,

0:50:03.480 --> 0:50:06.080
<v Speaker 1>my sister had had her mental breakdown and then my

0:50:06.160 --> 0:50:08.560
<v Speaker 1>other Yeah, so I was like, also, damn, like my

0:50:08.719 --> 0:50:11.520
<v Speaker 1>sister's like, that's gonna happen to me. Well yeah, so

0:50:11.719 --> 0:50:15.279
<v Speaker 1>I was like I would have been scared. Scared. Yeah,

0:50:15.680 --> 0:50:19.520
<v Speaker 1>And it really stemmed from just a really awful experience

0:50:19.560 --> 0:50:21.560
<v Speaker 1>that I had at the emergency room in the hospital.

0:50:21.760 --> 0:50:24.200
<v Speaker 1>Another reason why I started alling Mama and things like that,

0:50:24.520 --> 0:50:27.360
<v Speaker 1>which will let me tell you something. I'm seeing it,

0:50:27.440 --> 0:50:32.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm seeing and I love hearing it because okay, go ahead.

0:50:32.920 --> 0:50:36.960
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, my panic attacks stemmed from a really horrible

0:50:37.000 --> 0:50:39.160
<v Speaker 1>experience I had in the emergency room in the hospital

0:50:39.200 --> 0:50:43.200
<v Speaker 1>in the Bronx. I had come from a really long

0:50:43.320 --> 0:50:46.440
<v Speaker 1>flight in London and might have really bad back problems.

0:50:46.480 --> 0:50:49.319
<v Speaker 1>I have a hip and pinchment syndrome, and my back

0:50:49.480 --> 0:50:52.040
<v Speaker 1>was killing me. Oh Like I was in so much pain,

0:50:52.960 --> 0:50:55.680
<v Speaker 1>like from just sitting on the plane and stuff like

0:50:55.719 --> 0:50:57.520
<v Speaker 1>you don't really get comfortable on the plane, you know.

0:50:58.440 --> 0:51:01.040
<v Speaker 1>So I was like, Damn, I think I'm gonna have

0:51:01.040 --> 0:51:02.920
<v Speaker 1>to go to the er. I'm so much pain. Like

0:51:03.320 --> 0:51:07.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't take narcotics or like perks or anything like that,

0:51:08.080 --> 0:51:09.600
<v Speaker 1>but I was like, I think I need something really

0:51:09.640 --> 0:51:12.239
<v Speaker 1>strong So I went in there and I was telling

0:51:12.280 --> 0:51:14.000
<v Speaker 1>them about my pain and like my day and like

0:51:14.080 --> 0:51:16.640
<v Speaker 1>what I had gone through, and you know, I told

0:51:16.680 --> 0:51:19.520
<v Speaker 1>them I said I need something really strong. So they

0:51:19.640 --> 0:51:24.920
<v Speaker 1>see a brown woman asking for pain meds, first thing

0:51:24.960 --> 0:51:29.360
<v Speaker 1>they think is she's an addict. Yeah, so instead of

0:51:29.520 --> 0:51:32.600
<v Speaker 1>giving me what I know is okay for my body,

0:51:33.880 --> 0:51:36.879
<v Speaker 1>they gave me a concoction of medication and sent me home.

0:51:37.400 --> 0:51:40.759
<v Speaker 1>And then I was hallucinating. I thought you were going

0:51:40.800 --> 0:51:43.480
<v Speaker 1>to say, like, baby Chile, No, no, they gave me

0:51:44.080 --> 0:51:45.800
<v Speaker 1>me some shit, gave me some pill. I don't know

0:51:45.880 --> 0:51:50.680
<v Speaker 1>what the fuck sent me home? Girl, I was hallucinating.

0:51:51.000 --> 0:51:57.799
<v Speaker 1>I was not myself. I was having a psychosis episode. Yeah,

0:51:57.880 --> 0:52:00.640
<v Speaker 1>and I had to go back to the emergency. I

0:52:00.800 --> 0:52:03.480
<v Speaker 1>remember being at my mom's house and just like my

0:52:03.600 --> 0:52:05.520
<v Speaker 1>daughter was coming up to me and like this was

0:52:05.560 --> 0:52:09.320
<v Speaker 1>like after the hospital, and I was just like like

0:52:09.440 --> 0:52:11.040
<v Speaker 1>I just didn't even reco Like it's like I didn't

0:52:11.040 --> 0:52:14.239
<v Speaker 1>even know who she was. It was so weird. So

0:52:14.280 --> 0:52:17.400
<v Speaker 1>then I went back to the hospital. Anybody, Yeah, I

0:52:17.440 --> 0:52:19.080
<v Speaker 1>went back to the hospital and I was like, yo,

0:52:19.239 --> 0:52:21.719
<v Speaker 1>what the fuck is wrong with me? Like what is

0:52:21.800 --> 0:52:24.360
<v Speaker 1>going on? And they were like I had to explain

0:52:24.400 --> 0:52:26.800
<v Speaker 1>to them that the day the night before, I was

0:52:26.880 --> 0:52:28.759
<v Speaker 1>here for pain and they gave me. I don't know

0:52:28.840 --> 0:52:30.480
<v Speaker 1>what they gave me, but they need to look at

0:52:30.520 --> 0:52:33.279
<v Speaker 1>what they gave me. So there was nothing I could

0:52:33.320 --> 0:52:36.680
<v Speaker 1>do but wait, waited out and it was the most

0:52:36.880 --> 0:52:42.480
<v Speaker 1>awful experience of my entire life that would have Yeah. Yeah,

0:52:42.840 --> 0:52:45.640
<v Speaker 1>so so that like even more yeah and I and

0:52:45.760 --> 0:52:48.920
<v Speaker 1>at that time, I was dating my ex and he

0:52:49.120 --> 0:52:50.759
<v Speaker 1>he was on the phone with me the entire time

0:52:50.840 --> 0:52:53.239
<v Speaker 1>in the hospital, like he had to shoot a music

0:52:53.280 --> 0:52:56.560
<v Speaker 1>video during her time he was shooting a music video. Well,

0:52:57.080 --> 0:52:58.800
<v Speaker 1>I had to be being on the phone with me

0:52:59.239 --> 0:53:02.560
<v Speaker 1>for me to be able to like be okay, wow. Yeah.

0:53:02.719 --> 0:53:05.200
<v Speaker 1>It was really bad. And then my panic attacks, and

0:53:05.440 --> 0:53:08.400
<v Speaker 1>it got even worse from that because I thought that

0:53:08.719 --> 0:53:10.759
<v Speaker 1>I guess I would never be the same again. Yeah,

0:53:10.960 --> 0:53:14.080
<v Speaker 1>or fear or you're possibly thinking, like.

0:53:15.560 --> 0:53:17.200
<v Speaker 2>Will I ever end up in it even though you

0:53:17.280 --> 0:53:19.640
<v Speaker 2>knew it was the drug, you don't know, you don't

0:53:19.760 --> 0:53:23.640
<v Speaker 2>really know, no, so you're like, what could possibly bring

0:53:23.719 --> 0:53:24.360
<v Speaker 2>that on again?

0:53:24.680 --> 0:53:30.200
<v Speaker 1>Exactly? So I was just too weak and girls so hard.

0:53:30.480 --> 0:53:33.000
<v Speaker 1>Like I just remember one of the panic attacks that

0:53:33.080 --> 0:53:34.960
<v Speaker 1>stand out the most. I was with my daughter and

0:53:35.080 --> 0:53:37.239
<v Speaker 1>we were gonna go. I wanted to leave the house.

0:53:37.360 --> 0:53:39.040
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I need to leave the house, but

0:53:39.160 --> 0:53:41.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, I ran the risk of having a panic attack,

0:53:41.080 --> 0:53:42.399
<v Speaker 1>but I was like, I just need to leave the house.

0:53:42.440 --> 0:53:44.880
<v Speaker 1>So we went shopping. I took her to Madison Avenue

0:53:44.960 --> 0:53:46.719
<v Speaker 1>and like, we went shopping. But when I got out

0:53:46.719 --> 0:53:49.440
<v Speaker 1>of the train, I had to go inside this cafe

0:53:49.680 --> 0:53:53.600
<v Speaker 1>Dina and De Luca for a minute to collect myself

0:53:53.800 --> 0:53:59.320
<v Speaker 1>because I was so dishoveled. Wow, And you know, my

0:53:59.440 --> 0:54:02.279
<v Speaker 1>daughter was just like Mommy, oh, what are we doing?

0:54:02.719 --> 0:54:05.000
<v Speaker 1>And I'm just like I just need a second. And

0:54:05.160 --> 0:54:08.360
<v Speaker 1>it was just like wow, Like that was just that

0:54:08.480 --> 0:54:10.319
<v Speaker 1>was a really hard moment for sure.

0:54:10.480 --> 0:54:15.719
<v Speaker 2>And I can only imagine so now that we're so

0:54:15.800 --> 0:54:19.000
<v Speaker 2>we're still in New York, when do you pivot? Because

0:54:19.040 --> 0:54:21.399
<v Speaker 2>I see you in LA now, so I'm like, when

0:54:21.440 --> 0:54:24.200
<v Speaker 2>do you pivot to LA and when, like, how do

0:54:24.280 --> 0:54:26.520
<v Speaker 2>we get closer to wellness?

0:54:26.680 --> 0:54:30.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay, let's do it, which I love talking about as

0:54:30.800 --> 0:54:31.200
<v Speaker 1>of late.

0:54:31.320 --> 0:54:33.200
<v Speaker 2>So I think it was kind of just a backtrack.

0:54:33.360 --> 0:54:35.480
<v Speaker 2>It was very mature of you at the age of

0:54:35.680 --> 0:54:39.400
<v Speaker 2>like twenty one or twenty two to say like like

0:54:39.960 --> 0:54:43.120
<v Speaker 2>forget the money, like you, it's to acknowledge your actual

0:54:43.200 --> 0:54:45.440
<v Speaker 2>feelings inside. Yeah, I thought that was like a very

0:54:45.520 --> 0:54:48.399
<v Speaker 2>much that was mature for a twenty twenty one year old.

0:54:48.480 --> 0:54:50.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, thank you. I looking back on it, Yeah, I

0:54:50.960 --> 0:54:52.840
<v Speaker 1>think I feel like that too. I think that was

0:54:52.960 --> 0:54:56.000
<v Speaker 1>very mature of me to take notice of that and

0:54:56.120 --> 0:54:57.960
<v Speaker 1>be like, I want to do something that comes from

0:54:57.960 --> 0:55:01.600
<v Speaker 1>the heart, right, Yeah, it is very muchure. Yeah. But

0:55:03.040 --> 0:55:07.680
<v Speaker 1>I was dating so La. So. I was dating my

0:55:07.840 --> 0:55:10.360
<v Speaker 1>ex who his name is Absol So a lot of

0:55:10.400 --> 0:55:14.359
<v Speaker 1>people know about him, but he's he was my ex.

0:55:14.440 --> 0:55:16.880
<v Speaker 1>We were dating for five for like five years at

0:55:16.920 --> 0:55:20.200
<v Speaker 1>the time when I moved to La. So I moved

0:55:20.200 --> 0:55:23.560
<v Speaker 1>to La with my daughter and we moved in together

0:55:24.160 --> 0:55:28.239
<v Speaker 1>like a little family. So you moved. That's how I

0:55:28.280 --> 0:55:32.080
<v Speaker 1>got to l A Okay, and then sorry, I'm like

0:55:32.200 --> 0:55:35.839
<v Speaker 1>blanking out a little bit with my story. I got

0:55:35.880 --> 0:55:40.000
<v Speaker 1>to l A. Sorry. I'm like, you know what it

0:55:40.120 --> 0:55:48.560
<v Speaker 1>is because we're really hungry today. Ready, let's check, Like

0:55:48.840 --> 0:55:52.960
<v Speaker 1>my stomach is over here, like yo, feed me it is.

0:55:53.200 --> 0:55:59.640
<v Speaker 1>Thank god, I'm starving. Sorry, I like lost because they're hungry.

0:56:00.120 --> 0:56:04.160
<v Speaker 1>The food smells so good. It's so much to recount. Okay,

0:56:04.320 --> 0:56:07.920
<v Speaker 1>so I feel like this is done good? Do you

0:56:08.000 --> 0:56:11.480
<v Speaker 1>want to serve me first? Are you sure I got you? Okay?

0:56:11.560 --> 0:56:15.480
<v Speaker 1>So I come to LA and it was very hard

0:56:15.520 --> 0:56:18.440
<v Speaker 1>to adjust. Yeah, because La compared to New York.

0:56:18.480 --> 0:56:20.680
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god. I would write like little sad poems

0:56:20.680 --> 0:56:23.840
<v Speaker 2>every day when I it was it was like the

0:56:23.960 --> 0:56:27.200
<v Speaker 2>eminem of just sad, depressing lacks compared to New York.

0:56:27.280 --> 0:56:29.960
<v Speaker 2>The food is terrible, the people are different.

0:56:30.920 --> 0:56:34.640
<v Speaker 1>It was hard to adjust, but you know, it worked out.

0:56:36.040 --> 0:56:40.280
<v Speaker 1>But then I was having issues with my partner Max.

0:56:41.000 --> 0:56:43.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and it was when you're going through issues with

0:56:43.920 --> 0:56:46.200
<v Speaker 2>your partner and your kid is involved, is that like

0:56:46.320 --> 0:56:47.200
<v Speaker 2>at extra pressure?

0:56:47.400 --> 0:56:51.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm just randomly curious, genuinely curious. Yeah, because you you know,

0:56:51.760 --> 0:56:53.759
<v Speaker 1>you have you know your child is watching, so you

0:56:53.920 --> 0:56:55.920
<v Speaker 1>just want to make sure that you know you're setting

0:56:55.920 --> 0:56:59.960
<v Speaker 1>an example for your kids. So it does add extra pressure.

0:57:00.200 --> 0:57:03.680
<v Speaker 1>And you know, again, like we had a long distance

0:57:03.760 --> 0:57:07.080
<v Speaker 1>relationship and I didn't really you don't really get to

0:57:07.160 --> 0:57:09.480
<v Speaker 1>know somebody very well until you're like living with them,

0:57:09.680 --> 0:57:15.200
<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm saying. But he which he has

0:57:15.239 --> 0:57:17.520
<v Speaker 1>spoken about, so I feel more comfortable talking about and

0:57:17.640 --> 0:57:19.720
<v Speaker 1>now because he's he already talked about it through his

0:57:19.880 --> 0:57:22.200
<v Speaker 1>music and stuff, and he is still a really dear

0:57:22.280 --> 0:57:24.680
<v Speaker 1>friend of mine and I love him so much. But

0:57:24.800 --> 0:57:28.880
<v Speaker 1>it was like a really hard period living with somebody

0:57:28.920 --> 0:57:32.760
<v Speaker 1>who was severely depressed and also was struggling with drug addiction.

0:57:33.640 --> 0:57:36.440
<v Speaker 1>And at that point in my life, I went to

0:57:36.560 --> 0:57:39.320
<v Speaker 1>therapy and I said, that was your first time going

0:57:39.360 --> 0:57:41.760
<v Speaker 1>to therapy? And I said, why do I keep attracting

0:57:41.840 --> 0:57:44.000
<v Speaker 1>this in my life? Like? Why do I keep attracting

0:57:44.040 --> 0:57:49.320
<v Speaker 1>people that that are broken? And it's because like I'm

0:57:49.360 --> 0:57:51.960
<v Speaker 1>also broken? Right? Is that what you learned in therapy?

0:57:52.080 --> 0:57:54.240
<v Speaker 1>That is no reason? No, no, no, not that I'm broke,

0:57:54.360 --> 0:57:57.400
<v Speaker 1>not literally like you broken. No no, no, I'm really curious.

0:57:57.480 --> 0:58:01.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm just not. No, But yeah, because I wonder that

0:58:01.440 --> 0:58:04.640
<v Speaker 1>same shit, I track the same exact rson because a

0:58:04.720 --> 0:58:08.120
<v Speaker 1>reflection of us. Yeah, everyone in our lives is a reflection.

0:58:08.640 --> 0:58:13.840
<v Speaker 1>It's a mirror, so something inside of us. Right, So

0:58:14.480 --> 0:58:17.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm like why so what it is like my savior complex?

0:58:18.000 --> 0:58:21.560
<v Speaker 1>Like I just want to save everybody and shit, okay,

0:58:21.560 --> 0:58:23.800
<v Speaker 1>but I don't. I don't take care of myself. I'm

0:58:23.840 --> 0:58:26.520
<v Speaker 1>doing that better now, but but I wasn't taking care

0:58:26.520 --> 0:58:29.000
<v Speaker 1>of myself. You know what I'm saying. That was really

0:58:29.120 --> 0:58:33.360
<v Speaker 1>like the book of it. Yeah, that when Dali Mama

0:58:33.960 --> 0:58:39.480
<v Speaker 1>enters the picture, Dalli Mama enters the picture twenty twenty. Well,

0:58:39.720 --> 0:58:42.640
<v Speaker 1>the nickname. I've had the nickname though since I was

0:58:42.720 --> 0:58:44.600
<v Speaker 1>like twenty one years old, and it was my ex

0:58:44.640 --> 0:58:46.600
<v Speaker 1>who gave it to me because he came to my house.

0:58:46.640 --> 0:58:49.880
<v Speaker 1>He saw the Buddha, he saw all my little wellness stuff,

0:58:50.400 --> 0:58:54.080
<v Speaker 1>he saw my quotes. He was like, like the Dali Lama.

0:58:54.400 --> 0:58:56.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna call you the Dali Mama. That's cute. And

0:58:56.840 --> 0:58:59.720
<v Speaker 1>I was like, that's mad cute. And I was just like,

0:58:59.800 --> 0:59:04.960
<v Speaker 1>it's been stuck since. Okay, but twenty twenty, I'm going

0:59:05.000 --> 0:59:06.840
<v Speaker 1>through a terrible breakup. You know, me and him end

0:59:06.920 --> 0:59:08.920
<v Speaker 1>up breaking up. I have to get my own place,

0:59:09.000 --> 0:59:11.760
<v Speaker 1>and it's going into the pandemic breakup. That just sucks.

0:59:12.040 --> 0:59:15.800
<v Speaker 1>It sucked ended breaking up officially, because you know, the

0:59:16.200 --> 0:59:19.240
<v Speaker 1>long term relationious be on and off, like breaking up

0:59:19.320 --> 0:59:20.960
<v Speaker 1>during a pandemic. It's like, how are you gonna find

0:59:21.000 --> 0:59:25.320
<v Speaker 1>somebody to replace the pandemic? No, you have to be alone,

0:59:25.440 --> 0:59:28.840
<v Speaker 1>do the work. Yeah on yourself. Did you do it? Yeah?

0:59:29.040 --> 0:59:37.120
<v Speaker 1>I was alone for some time afterwards, but he ended

0:59:37.200 --> 0:59:40.320
<v Speaker 1>up like trying to commit suicide, so he had like

0:59:40.680 --> 0:59:46.000
<v Speaker 1>thrown himself off of the freeway into the four or five.

0:59:46.920 --> 0:59:50.520
<v Speaker 1>And when all of that was taking place, this was

0:59:50.560 --> 0:59:52.760
<v Speaker 1>like after I literally the year after I moved out.

0:59:52.760 --> 0:59:56.560
<v Speaker 1>I was not that long after when that happened. Dolly

0:59:56.640 --> 0:59:59.920
<v Speaker 1>Mama was just like, oh, like, this is my purpose,

1:00:00.200 --> 1:00:06.520
<v Speaker 1>Like I need to help people with my story and

1:00:06.640 --> 1:00:10.120
<v Speaker 1>be a testament of my story to let people know

1:00:10.280 --> 1:00:13.360
<v Speaker 1>that you can make it through all of the adversities

1:00:13.440 --> 1:00:18.200
<v Speaker 1>that life throws at you, and that you can stand

1:00:18.320 --> 1:00:22.160
<v Speaker 1>on business despite whatever life throws at you and you

1:00:22.280 --> 1:00:24.960
<v Speaker 1>cannot and you can make that shit look sexy. Yeah

1:00:25.280 --> 1:00:30.520
<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm saying. So yeah, Then Dalli Mama

1:00:30.600 --> 1:00:35.240
<v Speaker 1>came about, and this was actually, you know, I had

1:00:35.280 --> 1:00:38.000
<v Speaker 1>a really good friend of mine named Ariel, and she

1:00:38.200 --> 1:00:40.840
<v Speaker 1>was like, you know, like you are just such a

1:00:41.080 --> 1:00:44.000
<v Speaker 1>wellness person that I just feel like you need to

1:00:44.080 --> 1:00:48.320
<v Speaker 1>do something with that. And originally Dalli Mama was going

1:00:48.400 --> 1:00:53.000
<v Speaker 1>to be called Dollai like pitbulls Dallai, I like Dali Mama. Yeah,

1:00:53.360 --> 1:00:55.439
<v Speaker 1>And then I was like what And then my friend

1:00:55.560 --> 1:00:58.240
<v Speaker 1>was like, why is that's your nickname. That's something everybody

1:00:58.320 --> 1:00:59.400
<v Speaker 1>knows you as that, Like why are you going to

1:00:59.400 --> 1:01:01.680
<v Speaker 1>shut up? And like, yeah, that's stupid. Let me not

1:01:01.760 --> 1:01:05.800
<v Speaker 1>do that. So there's a couple of questions I have. Well,

1:01:05.920 --> 1:01:08.120
<v Speaker 1>let's take a bite of the food, because I have

1:01:08.200 --> 1:01:10.800
<v Speaker 1>to say good, because you know, when you cook with

1:01:10.880 --> 1:01:14.280
<v Speaker 1>other pots and ship I'm starving. I think it can be.

1:01:17.200 --> 1:01:23.200
<v Speaker 1>It's good. It's good, and there's more. All that matters.

1:01:24.360 --> 1:01:27.720
<v Speaker 1>I thought it was gonna be a lot more saucier.

1:01:28.200 --> 1:01:32.560
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm. There's the rice absorbed it. Now I'm curious.

1:01:32.600 --> 1:01:35.160
<v Speaker 1>I keep bringing up the sauce. Do you ever add

1:01:35.240 --> 1:01:37.080
<v Speaker 1>some of the sauce to rice? If it seems like

1:01:37.720 --> 1:01:41.240
<v Speaker 1>because I low ke you want to? I feel like

1:01:43.040 --> 1:01:49.480
<v Speaker 1>it's raw garlic and raw peppers and stuff saucy. Can

1:01:49.520 --> 1:01:51.360
<v Speaker 1>I try it? I just want to try it. She's like,

1:01:51.440 --> 1:01:54.920
<v Speaker 1>but it's saucy. I like it. But I feel like

1:01:56.640 --> 1:01:59.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm one of those people that like gooey and messy food. Yeah,

1:02:00.240 --> 1:02:03.920
<v Speaker 1>do you like do you like that all fattening? So messy?

1:02:04.160 --> 1:02:06.440
<v Speaker 1>This would be good with some beans. The beans were

1:02:06.480 --> 1:02:08.800
<v Speaker 1>at the sauce. Yeah, I think the beans were at

1:02:08.840 --> 1:02:13.480
<v Speaker 1>the sauce. Yeah, you know, what or sides out the beans.

1:02:14.160 --> 1:02:17.600
<v Speaker 1>But this feeds a lot of people, and it's so cheap,

1:02:17.640 --> 1:02:20.040
<v Speaker 1>and you have car and proteain. I want to see

1:02:20.080 --> 1:02:22.080
<v Speaker 1>what happens if I mix it with this sauce though,

1:02:22.240 --> 1:02:24.520
<v Speaker 1>I just I don't know. I'm obsessed with this. Have

1:02:24.600 --> 1:02:27.480
<v Speaker 1>you ever tried that? I mean, yeah, have you ever

1:02:27.520 --> 1:02:29.920
<v Speaker 1>done it on top of the rice? After? Okay, I'm

1:02:30.000 --> 1:02:34.680
<v Speaker 1>gonna change your life. But you can't take that that.

1:02:35.200 --> 1:02:37.760
<v Speaker 1>You can not take that sauce with you. Okay, I

1:02:37.920 --> 1:02:41.040
<v Speaker 1>promise you you're gonna be doing this after this. It

1:02:41.160 --> 1:02:51.320
<v Speaker 1>is delicious with it as okay? Right? Yeah? Are you

1:02:51.400 --> 1:02:53.800
<v Speaker 1>just saying that? I'm not? I mean, I made the ship,

1:02:53.880 --> 1:02:57.920
<v Speaker 1>but but you had admit right it's good? Yeah, because

1:02:57.960 --> 1:03:00.200
<v Speaker 1>I just grew up thinking that that's bad my mom like,

1:03:00.240 --> 1:03:03.640
<v Speaker 1>don't eat it like that, like love it. I hope

1:03:03.720 --> 1:03:07.320
<v Speaker 1>nobody who your mom is going to be like what, No,

1:03:07.760 --> 1:03:10.240
<v Speaker 1>I love this and it's not it's it's actually it's

1:03:10.320 --> 1:03:12.240
<v Speaker 1>just peppers and onions and stuff. So I don't see

1:03:12.240 --> 1:03:15.080
<v Speaker 1>why not. It's taste, cellar. I just love it on

1:03:15.280 --> 1:03:18.120
<v Speaker 1>the rice too. Are you saying it? Are you just no?

1:03:18.240 --> 1:03:19.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm not as like, would you ever do this. If

1:03:20.000 --> 1:03:21.720
<v Speaker 1>your mom was around, you know what I would do.

1:03:21.960 --> 1:03:25.000
<v Speaker 1>I would add a chili pepper to make a spicy

1:03:26.400 --> 1:03:29.720
<v Speaker 1>because your Jamaican. You like spice. I like your Scotch bonnet.

1:03:29.840 --> 1:03:34.240
<v Speaker 1>You like Scotch bonnet, pepper. Bay. I want to touch

1:03:34.320 --> 1:03:37.640
<v Speaker 1>on two things before we can close out. Okay.

1:03:39.080 --> 1:03:43.280
<v Speaker 2>One, Whenever people say holistic in wellness, I'm like, what

1:03:43.360 --> 1:03:45.640
<v Speaker 2>does that mean? We're eating carrots, Like, what does that mean?

1:03:47.200 --> 1:03:51.480
<v Speaker 1>Holistic? Because I saw that you, that's you, That's a

1:03:51.520 --> 1:03:56.440
<v Speaker 1>part of your wellness. Right. Holistic means like overall comprehensive,

1:03:57.520 --> 1:04:02.439
<v Speaker 1>that doesn't just encompass like actual health like organ health

1:04:02.560 --> 1:04:06.400
<v Speaker 1>or something like that. Like it's literally your lifestyle, it's

1:04:06.480 --> 1:04:13.320
<v Speaker 1>your diet, your mental it's an overall approach to health. Holistic, whole,

1:04:14.160 --> 1:04:18.040
<v Speaker 1>a whole complete. And then if someone like, how does

1:04:18.080 --> 1:04:21.320
<v Speaker 1>someone join Dolly Mama or how does it work? Okay,

1:04:21.440 --> 1:04:26.240
<v Speaker 1>So Dolly Mama is still very much a baby. Dolly

1:04:26.320 --> 1:04:29.840
<v Speaker 1>Mama is like two to three years old, and right

1:04:29.960 --> 1:04:32.880
<v Speaker 1>now we are doing events. You can find us on

1:04:33.080 --> 1:04:37.360
<v Speaker 1>Instagram right now and we do events. I did a

1:04:37.440 --> 1:04:42.479
<v Speaker 1>retreat in Costa Rica. I'm glad you like it. Sorry,

1:04:43.760 --> 1:04:46.000
<v Speaker 1>we did a retreat in Costa Rica. We have Bali

1:04:46.120 --> 1:04:50.680
<v Speaker 1>next year. And what I'm really doing is building more

1:04:50.760 --> 1:04:53.920
<v Speaker 1>than anything. I have a product line coming out and

1:04:54.400 --> 1:04:58.880
<v Speaker 1>all that stuff launching in like six seven months, along

1:04:58.960 --> 1:05:03.400
<v Speaker 1>with website and every thing. But more importantly for me,

1:05:04.680 --> 1:05:08.960
<v Speaker 1>I want to create a real genuine community. I don't

1:05:09.080 --> 1:05:10.720
<v Speaker 1>like that and I and I want to take my

1:05:10.840 --> 1:05:13.400
<v Speaker 1>time with that. And that's why I do these meetups

1:05:13.480 --> 1:05:15.520
<v Speaker 1>and these hangouts with people. I do a lot of

1:05:15.600 --> 1:05:18.720
<v Speaker 1>community work and things like that. It's because I really

1:05:18.880 --> 1:05:21.840
<v Speaker 1>want something I didn't have, which was like community and

1:05:21.960 --> 1:05:25.240
<v Speaker 1>people talking the way that meaning you are talking on

1:05:25.720 --> 1:05:28.800
<v Speaker 1>the regular and and we're doing we're having like minded

1:05:28.840 --> 1:05:32.840
<v Speaker 1>conversations for elevation, for growth and things like that. That's

1:05:32.840 --> 1:05:36.400
<v Speaker 1>where you go for that to learn. Dalli Mamas is

1:05:36.440 --> 1:05:41.000
<v Speaker 1>a hub for everything to learn, to educate yourself and

1:05:41.160 --> 1:05:43.800
<v Speaker 1>all of that to grow and build a support to

1:05:44.000 --> 1:05:48.120
<v Speaker 1>build a support system. And how many trips have you

1:05:48.200 --> 1:05:52.200
<v Speaker 1>done so far with Dolly? This year is my first?

1:05:52.440 --> 1:05:54.520
<v Speaker 1>This year was my first one in Costa Rica. And

1:05:54.600 --> 1:05:57.520
<v Speaker 1>then what happened on the trip, like what can people expect?

1:05:58.200 --> 1:06:01.880
<v Speaker 1>So on the trip, the truck was beautiful, We did

1:06:02.040 --> 1:06:04.640
<v Speaker 1>a lot of excursions. So we went to like a waterfall.

1:06:05.640 --> 1:06:10.160
<v Speaker 1>We learned about cacao and the indigenous people. We like

1:06:10.440 --> 1:06:15.480
<v Speaker 1>hands on, like made chocolate from scratch and it was good.

1:06:15.720 --> 1:06:20.600
<v Speaker 1>Did you did you do good chocolate? Joe, chocolate come out.

1:06:20.640 --> 1:06:23.480
<v Speaker 1>That's so funny. Did you do good chocolate? Yeah? It

1:06:23.560 --> 1:06:25.919
<v Speaker 1>was good. Teach me how to make chocolate. My life

1:06:25.920 --> 1:06:29.360
<v Speaker 1>will be complete. I'll be on you talk about at it.

1:06:30.360 --> 1:06:33.800
<v Speaker 1>I learned how to make chocolate, it's gonna be a problem. Yeah.

1:06:34.440 --> 1:06:37.400
<v Speaker 1>So we learned how to do all that. We went

1:06:37.480 --> 1:06:40.840
<v Speaker 1>to the rainforest, We learned about the animals, the plants.

1:06:41.560 --> 1:06:44.920
<v Speaker 1>We did a lot of healing work with ourselves. Just

1:06:44.960 --> 1:06:47.560
<v Speaker 1>like things that I tools that I've learned that have

1:06:47.720 --> 1:06:50.840
<v Speaker 1>helped me overcome my issues and my hurdles in life

1:06:51.280 --> 1:06:55.520
<v Speaker 1>are the tools that I'm just like teaching people, like journaling, meditating,

1:06:55.720 --> 1:06:57.560
<v Speaker 1>like all that stuff I had to learn so that

1:06:57.720 --> 1:07:02.120
<v Speaker 1>I can keep it right. You know, So journaling, you

1:07:02.240 --> 1:07:04.560
<v Speaker 1>do feel like really does help with wellness. I know

1:07:04.640 --> 1:07:07.000
<v Speaker 1>people talk about it, but do you really feel like

1:07:07.080 --> 1:07:10.720
<v Speaker 1>it really? Yeah, it does help, Like putting your thoughts

1:07:10.800 --> 1:07:15.600
<v Speaker 1>on paper and your feelings on paper instead of having

1:07:15.680 --> 1:07:18.080
<v Speaker 1>them in your mind and like bottling it all in.

1:07:18.280 --> 1:07:20.240
<v Speaker 1>It really helps. And it also helps like when you

1:07:20.320 --> 1:07:23.080
<v Speaker 1>look back at your journal entries and seeing how far

1:07:23.160 --> 1:07:25.640
<v Speaker 1>you've come. I have like three journals from like so

1:07:25.760 --> 1:07:29.040
<v Speaker 1>many years, and I always I love from time to

1:07:29.120 --> 1:07:31.720
<v Speaker 1>time going back to where I was and twanty you

1:07:31.800 --> 1:07:36.560
<v Speaker 1>were like, thank god that girl, if only would have known. Yeah,

1:07:36.640 --> 1:07:39.640
<v Speaker 1>then I start getting real lately. My journal entries are

1:07:39.680 --> 1:07:44.240
<v Speaker 1>real descriptive. But do you do like just random do

1:07:44.360 --> 1:07:49.280
<v Speaker 1>you ever do like letters to your younger self? I

1:07:49.360 --> 1:07:52.280
<v Speaker 1>feel like I have done that before as a as

1:07:52.320 --> 1:07:57.800
<v Speaker 1>an exercise. Yeah, yeah, I feel like helper. I mean

1:07:57.840 --> 1:08:00.560
<v Speaker 1>I feel like what those things help us with perspective,

1:08:00.760 --> 1:08:03.960
<v Speaker 1>like giving you a different perspective and how you view

1:08:04.920 --> 1:08:06.800
<v Speaker 1>things in life, how you view the things that happen

1:08:06.880 --> 1:08:10.080
<v Speaker 1>to you in life, or how to become empowered from

1:08:10.480 --> 1:08:12.600
<v Speaker 1>those things that have happened to us in life. And

1:08:13.000 --> 1:08:15.240
<v Speaker 1>that's one of the main things for me, is like

1:08:16.200 --> 1:08:20.280
<v Speaker 1>a prevalent theme is empowerment throughout throughout and that's something

1:08:20.360 --> 1:08:23.960
<v Speaker 1>I want everybody to feel, is empowered throughout life and

1:08:24.479 --> 1:08:28.160
<v Speaker 1>no matter what obstacles are thrown at you. And it's

1:08:28.200 --> 1:08:31.600
<v Speaker 1>not just journaling, and it's more than that. It's you know,

1:08:31.680 --> 1:08:33.280
<v Speaker 1>it's like when we were on the retreat, it's like

1:08:33.320 --> 1:08:35.519
<v Speaker 1>we were together for a week and like, you know,

1:08:35.640 --> 1:08:38.559
<v Speaker 1>we did some exercises, some meditations and some some things

1:08:38.600 --> 1:08:43.200
<v Speaker 1>that change their perspective on the way they view the

1:08:43.280 --> 1:08:45.280
<v Speaker 1>world and things like that. Like that's why you come

1:08:45.400 --> 1:08:48.240
<v Speaker 1>on those trips for like life changing aha moments that

1:08:48.360 --> 1:08:50.240
<v Speaker 1>you're like, oh my god, and then you go home

1:08:50.320 --> 1:08:53.880
<v Speaker 1>and apply it. You know. Do you ever do you

1:08:54.080 --> 1:08:56.599
<v Speaker 1>do on the on the trips? Do you take away

1:08:56.640 --> 1:08:59.840
<v Speaker 1>phones and stuff? No? I don't. You know, I don't

1:09:00.000 --> 1:09:04.000
<v Speaker 1>all your exes, don't search on Instagram? You know that's

1:09:04.080 --> 1:09:06.920
<v Speaker 1>funny as hell. No, it's all actually because I'm like,

1:09:07.360 --> 1:09:12.720
<v Speaker 1>it's not like a like the whole time, it's like

1:09:13.080 --> 1:09:16.840
<v Speaker 1>we're here, we're shaking us, We're doing it is a

1:09:16.880 --> 1:09:19.880
<v Speaker 1>fun trip. It's like we're it's like a girl's trip.

1:09:20.080 --> 1:09:22.160
<v Speaker 1>Wix well in the trip and do guys are guys

1:09:22.240 --> 1:09:25.120
<v Speaker 1>allowed to go? Well? Because it's called Dolly Mama? No,

1:09:25.600 --> 1:09:28.080
<v Speaker 1>I know, it's just like right now, I just like

1:09:28.960 --> 1:09:32.120
<v Speaker 1>I feel like women feel more comfortable with women, but

1:09:32.280 --> 1:09:35.439
<v Speaker 1>I would like to for the men. The men need this.

1:09:35.760 --> 1:09:37.880
<v Speaker 2>You have like a Dolly Papa and a Dolly Mama,

1:09:38.160 --> 1:09:48.560
<v Speaker 2>Dolly kids right now, my kids certainly. Okay, it was

1:09:48.680 --> 1:09:52.200
<v Speaker 2>such a pleasure to eat this food with you and Julie.

1:09:52.320 --> 1:09:53.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, you left more in the pot.

1:09:54.280 --> 1:09:54.600
<v Speaker 1>You know what.

1:09:55.120 --> 1:09:58.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm realizing as you say why your mom said not

1:09:58.840 --> 1:10:01.040
<v Speaker 2>to because when you were discrib I'm in the all

1:10:01.040 --> 1:10:01.880
<v Speaker 2>the ingredients in here.

1:10:02.000 --> 1:10:03.800
<v Speaker 1>Like I took a big bite of it, and I

1:10:03.920 --> 1:10:05.160
<v Speaker 1>was like, oh, now I.

1:10:05.160 --> 1:10:09.080
<v Speaker 2>Get why you don't do because now you're yeah when

1:10:09.120 --> 1:10:12.000
<v Speaker 2>I say yeah, when I say like, I mean, I

1:10:12.200 --> 1:10:15.200
<v Speaker 2>don't kiss anybody anyways, but my goodness, like I was

1:10:15.640 --> 1:10:18.160
<v Speaker 2>doing so much in a sauce, and then I took.

1:10:18.040 --> 1:10:20.120
<v Speaker 1>A big tongue and I said, oh, there's a reason

1:10:20.160 --> 1:10:24.360
<v Speaker 1>why they don't. They don't because that's literally just raw.

1:10:24.920 --> 1:10:27.479
<v Speaker 1>And you kept saying it too, and I was like this.

1:10:29.720 --> 1:10:31.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, yo, girl, this is how you do it.

1:10:31.760 --> 1:10:35.879
<v Speaker 1>You're like, okay, you do know that it's like garlic

1:10:36.120 --> 1:10:38.800
<v Speaker 1>and vegetables chopped up. I was like, yeah, now my

1:10:38.920 --> 1:10:43.719
<v Speaker 1>mouth is just covered in garlic and onion. It's raw.

1:10:44.600 --> 1:10:47.720
<v Speaker 1>Just eat it when you guys, get eat it exactly

1:10:48.000 --> 1:10:50.360
<v Speaker 1>the way she told you to eat it. Yeah, you

1:10:50.439 --> 1:10:52.680
<v Speaker 1>gotta listen at me. You gotta cook it, cook it

1:10:52.760 --> 1:10:58.840
<v Speaker 1>a little bit. Yeah, very valuable lesson learned trying to

1:10:58.920 --> 1:11:02.040
<v Speaker 1>chef the chef. And I will say this, I coun

1:11:02.080 --> 1:11:05.519
<v Speaker 1>tage the orange and a lemon. You can, yeah, nice,

1:11:05.600 --> 1:11:09.840
<v Speaker 1>I can taste a little bit. How can people keep

1:11:09.920 --> 1:11:11.800
<v Speaker 1>up with you? Sorry, I got a full mouth and

1:11:11.840 --> 1:11:17.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm talking people can keep up on I'm mostly on

1:11:17.200 --> 1:11:24.080
<v Speaker 1>Instagram these days and TikTok, but Yaris Underscore Sanchez and

1:11:25.479 --> 1:11:30.439
<v Speaker 1>Dolli Mama World, Dolly Mama World on Instagram. And now

1:11:30.560 --> 1:11:33.320
<v Speaker 1>that's one hundred percent of your focus. Now, Yeah, building

1:11:33.439 --> 1:11:39.640
<v Speaker 1>the community, and but be on the lookout for products.

1:11:39.840 --> 1:11:42.280
<v Speaker 1>Product line, hair, product line. I hope it's for like

1:11:42.400 --> 1:11:44.960
<v Speaker 1>curly hair. It is for curly hair, for sure.

1:11:45.200 --> 1:11:48.439
<v Speaker 2>I always feel like curly hair, no matter like how

1:11:48.520 --> 1:11:51.080
<v Speaker 2>many brands you're loyal to. Someone told me this recently,

1:11:51.120 --> 1:11:52.720
<v Speaker 2>you just got to switch it up because once you're

1:11:53.320 --> 1:11:56.439
<v Speaker 2>curly hair conquers a brand and it stops working for you,

1:11:56.479 --> 1:11:58.560
<v Speaker 2>you gotta be like, I know, I'm a diehard of

1:11:58.640 --> 1:12:00.320
<v Speaker 2>this fit in this brand, but you have to go

1:12:00.360 --> 1:12:03.519
<v Speaker 2>out there and try a new brand because like if

1:12:03.560 --> 1:12:05.760
<v Speaker 2>you don't, because like I started noticing.

1:12:05.520 --> 1:12:07.320
<v Speaker 1>Some of my curls was like, if you I've been

1:12:07.360 --> 1:12:09.160
<v Speaker 1>doing this for ten years, give rid of that shit.

1:12:10.600 --> 1:12:13.320
<v Speaker 1>We're in twenty twenty four you still in twenty fourteen,

1:12:13.479 --> 1:12:15.760
<v Speaker 1>you still using horse and made it? Oh my god,

1:12:15.760 --> 1:12:18.320
<v Speaker 1>man and tail. Let me tell you something. My little

1:12:18.360 --> 1:12:20.560
<v Speaker 1>brother he had long hair, and I would go to

1:12:20.680 --> 1:12:22.600
<v Speaker 1>his house and he had horse made and tail, and

1:12:22.720 --> 1:12:24.400
<v Speaker 1>I would be like, how the fuck do you even

1:12:24.479 --> 1:12:27.000
<v Speaker 1>call me? You're here with that? That ship was terrible,

1:12:27.680 --> 1:12:29.400
<v Speaker 1>Like I feel like my hair knotted up even more,

1:12:29.479 --> 1:12:32.840
<v Speaker 1>and like that shit was terrible, terrible. I was like, bro,

1:12:33.320 --> 1:12:35.960
<v Speaker 1>But no, I just recently started switching it up because

1:12:35.960 --> 1:12:38.720
<v Speaker 1>I noticed that my curls, especially in the front, they

1:12:38.800 --> 1:12:42.760
<v Speaker 1>go limp. Really, I have fine hair, but they go limp.

1:12:42.840 --> 1:12:45.559
<v Speaker 2>But if I do switch up the different curling products,

1:12:45.680 --> 1:12:49.200
<v Speaker 2>like find a different conditioner, my curls will actually come back.

1:12:49.280 --> 1:12:50.720
<v Speaker 2>I used to think I'd have to cut it off

1:12:50.840 --> 1:12:53.800
<v Speaker 2>or whatever, but no, it's definitely like, you gotta switch

1:12:53.880 --> 1:12:55.960
<v Speaker 2>up your product, so we'll be looking out for your products.

1:12:56.040 --> 1:12:58.000
<v Speaker 1>Cool. Thanks. Yeah, I put a lot of love into

1:12:58.080 --> 1:13:01.519
<v Speaker 1>everything I do, and I don't support shit that it's

1:13:01.640 --> 1:13:05.519
<v Speaker 1>not like legit. So just know that whatever it is

1:13:05.600 --> 1:13:09.160
<v Speaker 1>that you're supporting from Daly, Mamma is coming from a

1:13:09.320 --> 1:13:10.680
<v Speaker 1>really true place, you know.

1:13:11.479 --> 1:13:14.280
<v Speaker 2>And I've gone on your page and I will say

1:13:14.320 --> 1:13:16.439
<v Speaker 2>it was like a peaceful it looks like you have

1:13:16.600 --> 1:13:20.720
<v Speaker 2>a good self care routine and so peaceful.

1:13:20.360 --> 1:13:20.760
<v Speaker 1>And all that.

1:13:21.000 --> 1:13:25.400
<v Speaker 2>So I was like, Okay, definitely still in that you know,

1:13:25.640 --> 1:13:28.640
<v Speaker 2>self love, self care thing. I'm slowly getting into that,

1:13:28.840 --> 1:13:29.400
<v Speaker 2>even though I'm like.

1:13:30.640 --> 1:13:34.519
<v Speaker 1>It's a journey, like we're as we're growing and involved

1:13:34.560 --> 1:13:39.000
<v Speaker 1>in becoming different people, we have to then relearn or

1:13:39.280 --> 1:13:41.719
<v Speaker 1>teach ourselves new ways for this new person we're becoming.

1:13:42.680 --> 1:13:44.800
<v Speaker 1>Or is it like right now I feel like I

1:13:44.880 --> 1:13:46.840
<v Speaker 1>have to rise up to the occasion, Like right now

1:13:47.120 --> 1:13:49.640
<v Speaker 1>in my life where I'm at, God is asking of

1:13:49.760 --> 1:13:54.120
<v Speaker 1>me to to to rise to the occasion, to stand

1:13:54.200 --> 1:13:57.479
<v Speaker 1>in my power fully you know, and really and and

1:13:58.479 --> 1:14:01.160
<v Speaker 1>and it's gonna take a lot. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna

1:14:01.160 --> 1:14:04.320
<v Speaker 1>take a lot. But I'm one of his souldiers.

1:14:04.760 --> 1:14:07.320
<v Speaker 2>Well you stand on your business, yes, So I know

1:14:07.439 --> 1:14:10.160
<v Speaker 2>it's gonna happen. And I look forward to hopefully one

1:14:10.240 --> 1:14:13.599
<v Speaker 2>day join in the retreat when my daughter's like at

1:14:13.720 --> 1:14:16.519
<v Speaker 2>least five. Because obviously you don't want to be a

1:14:16.600 --> 1:14:19.240
<v Speaker 2>mom on a retreat. It ain't gonna be a retreat

1:14:19.320 --> 1:14:20.360
<v Speaker 2>as if your kids.

1:14:20.200 --> 1:14:23.120
<v Speaker 1>Show up with you. No, you don't, you don't. But

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<v Speaker 1>the retreats are fun, like the girls, they had so

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<v Speaker 1>much fun, Like we went on so many adventures and

1:14:30.040 --> 1:14:32.519
<v Speaker 1>we went out and the night time. Like it's overall

1:14:33.960 --> 1:14:37.040
<v Speaker 1>having a balanced life. It's not just like being vegan

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<v Speaker 1>and then everything, all your problems go away. Yeah no,

1:14:40.120 --> 1:14:42.200
<v Speaker 1>like you can still do the things that you love

1:14:42.560 --> 1:14:45.960
<v Speaker 1>in moderation. Yeah, still live in health and still heal

1:14:46.120 --> 1:14:49.519
<v Speaker 1>and have fun, still do the work on yourself and

1:14:49.920 --> 1:14:53.800
<v Speaker 1>try to erase the trauma, breaking generational cycles and all this,

1:14:53.920 --> 1:14:56.880
<v Speaker 1>that and the third while also having fun. I gotta

1:14:56.920 --> 1:14:58.240
<v Speaker 1>be so serious all the time.

1:14:58.720 --> 1:15:00.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you heard it here first. You ain't gotta be

1:15:00.680 --> 1:15:04.680
<v Speaker 2>so serious, but stand on your business. Thank you so

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<v Speaker 2>much for your time and feeding me.

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<v Speaker 1>On another episode of Eating Broke. Peace y'all,