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Speaker 1: M hm.

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Speaker 2: Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Eating While Broke.

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Speaker 2: I'm your host, Pauline Witt, and today we have very

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Speaker 2: special guest model and founder of the Dolly Mama not Dolly.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't Lama, right, Dolly Mama like mama beer founder. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: dollar Mammy, dollar, Mammy, Dolla Mama, that Tosh.

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Speaker 1: That too, that too, Dolly Mommy too. Your Sanchez is

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Speaker 1: in the building. Yes, yes, thank you.

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Speaker 2: For being patient while I do extra twists on the dollar.

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Speaker 1: Mama. Hey all good, Thanks for being patient for me.

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Speaker 1: I got here a little late.

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Speaker 2: You got here late, but you know what, I know

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Speaker 2: You're gonna feed me good.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I got it.

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Speaker 2: And I love that you prepared a secret sauce prior.

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Speaker 2: It shows that you were definitely your game for this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So what are you making me eat today? So

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Speaker 1: today we're gonna eat something called a dish called Lokri.

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Speaker 1: It's a Dominican dish, staple Dominican dish. It's a one

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Speaker 1: pop meal and it feeds a lot of people.

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Speaker 2: It looks like when I saw all the ingredients, I

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Speaker 2: was like, yo, I don't know if she knows it's

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Speaker 2: a broke dish show. And then you were like, oh,

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Speaker 2: it's one pot. And I went through the grocery store

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Speaker 2: and honestly, dish dish, I think I spent like thirty

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Speaker 2: or forty bucks, and I knew you can have multiple servings,

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Speaker 2: Like I got two packs of chicken with it, you know,

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Speaker 2: like the whole nine. So it's definitely affordable, guys, and

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Speaker 2: it's definitely can feed a whole family.

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Speaker 1: So what are the ingredients for your dish? So we're

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Speaker 1: gonna do We're gonna have rice, chicken, cilantro, orange, lime, olives,

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Speaker 1: tomato paste, all theive oil. It sounds overwhelming, but it

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Speaker 1: really is. It's just a lot of spices and herbs

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Speaker 1: and add flavor more so. But like the staples are

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Speaker 1: rice and chicken and they're gonna be cooked in one

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Speaker 1: pot together, and then you have you can run through

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Speaker 1: the seasonings just to kind of tell them. So we

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Speaker 1: got cumin, oregano, paprika, salt, and pepper, onion powder, adobo

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Speaker 1: and that's it. Yep, yep. And you did the cilantro right,

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Speaker 1: garlic cilantro, yes.

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Speaker 2: So well you get your But in the kitchen, I

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Speaker 2: want you to say the name of the dish again.

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Speaker 1: You said it with like a nice, nice, nice accent. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's called locrio low creo, Lo creo, low creo.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I said it right, Yeah. Okay, So take me

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Speaker 2: back to what was going on in the Look Real air.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: So I'm gonna start seeing the Chicken Star season, Okay,

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Speaker 2: for sure, I look forward to eating. And then you said,

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Speaker 2: this dish takes about maybe forty minutes to make, but

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Speaker 2: it's a one pot dish. So can people go home

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Speaker 2: and just throw it all in their little you know,

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Speaker 2: those little slow cookers or no, I've never used a

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Speaker 2: slow cooker, but I was just wondering, like, cause.

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Speaker 1: No, not even the slow cooker. You literally just put

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Speaker 1: it in a pot. Really in the pot, okay, in

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Speaker 1: the pot you make rice. I have a feeling that

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go home and try to make this dish. Yes,

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Speaker 1: even though you didn't say what did you say what

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Speaker 1: was in the secret sauce? No? I didn't. So this

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Speaker 1: is so free. Though a lot of people probably know

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Speaker 1: about this, this is a famous Dominican staple in the kitchen.

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Speaker 1: Smell it.

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Speaker 2: Oh yes, Oh that's gonna be a lot of spice. Yeah, Oh,

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Speaker 2: you wasn't playing this is gonna be spicy. No, it

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Speaker 2: ain't gonna be spicy.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, it smells spicy. It smells spicy, but it's

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Speaker 1: not spicy. Okay, So what's in it? So we got

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Speaker 1: bell peppers, cilantro, onion, garlic, lime, juice. Honestly, it's it's

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Speaker 1: whatever you want to put in it, you know, whatever

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Speaker 1: you want to make. This is your your your base.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna season your meat with this. You can seizon

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Speaker 1: your beans with this. It's just like however you want

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Speaker 1: to make it. You got white onion, red onion? Are

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Speaker 1: you gonna use that whole batch? Not good? So? Can

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Speaker 1: I keep some if it? Yeah, if it's a.

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Speaker 2: Great dish, guys, I love to pretend, like when we

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Speaker 2: have good dishes on the show, like in front of

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Speaker 2: guys that like, yo, I just swipped.

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Speaker 1: This up, you know, on my own.

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Speaker 2: I freestyled it, and I'll be stealing the dishes from

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Speaker 2: eating while broke and I'm like, hey, I mean for sure,

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Speaker 2: been a couple of things I took off this show

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Speaker 2: and definitely made it for like a week straight.

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Speaker 1: Use your resources, you know, and be like I made

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Speaker 1: this on my own. I came up with it on

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Speaker 1: my own and know you can't have the ingredients. Oh no,

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Speaker 1: I don't need to say that, okay.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and you have tomato paste, Yeah, I got tomato.

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Speaker 1: Tomato paste is gonna go after okay. Okay, So so

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Speaker 1: Frito garlic, We're gonna do a little bit of orange

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Speaker 1: you So you want me to take you back to

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Speaker 1: the time of yeah dish? Yes, okay, you're right. Cooking

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Speaker 1: and talking is hard. It really is.

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Speaker 2: I've had guests that literally leave and be like, Yo,

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Speaker 2: that was a lot harder than I thought it was

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Speaker 2: gonna be.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, let me get to it. Okay. So

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Speaker 1: the last time I had this dish, actually it wasn't

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Speaker 1: that long ago because it's good, but my mom used

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Speaker 1: to make it at least once a week. It would

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Speaker 1: be it would be on rotation for the meals for

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Speaker 1: the week, and we were living in a one bedroom

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Speaker 1: apartment in Uptown Manhattan. Oh you're from New York. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: girl from New York. Make that little tell you the

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Speaker 1: Neveicant story earlier. Okay, Okay, so yeah, yeah, I'm from

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Speaker 1: the I'm from I grew up in Dykeman and the Bronx.

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Speaker 2: Gonna be homies yes, so okay, so how many siblings

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Speaker 2: did you have?

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Speaker 1: Two sisters, two older sisters that they came. So me

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Speaker 1: and my mom migrated to New York City first, and

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Speaker 1: then she sent for my sisters once she found stability.

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Speaker 1: You said, migrated from where Dominican Republic?

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay, so you migrate here and then she

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Speaker 2: sends for the two other sisters. So it's just four

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Speaker 2: women with yeah, women living in a house.

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Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, and my stepdad was around for a bit. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for a bed, a one bedroom, so we were sleeping

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Speaker 1: in the living room. So we had a bed in

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Speaker 1: the living room and the couch and stuff. So it's

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Speaker 1: just like, you know, we gotta make it work.

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Speaker 2: And it's tough in New York because, like they're really

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Speaker 2: small apartments unless you got like one of the old school.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they're really small apartments. And yeah, we were a

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Speaker 1: bit crowded, you know, I didn't have my own space.

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Speaker 1: But we were obviously grateful, you know, but it was

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Speaker 1: definitely difficult to for my mother, especially to navigate coming

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Speaker 1: too another country, not learning not knowing the language. You know.

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Speaker 1: My stepdad was around for a bit, but did he

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Speaker 1: move from No, she met him out in New York. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh after Yeah, so she's like super independent woman. Yeah no,

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Speaker 1: my mom my mom already was. She's the only one

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Speaker 1: out of all her siblings. I came to the United

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Speaker 1: States and then her her sister's coming soon as well.

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Speaker 1: But she made that leap first, and she wanted to

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Speaker 1: give us a higher education, and she wanted to give

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Speaker 1: us more than what she had. She came from a

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Speaker 1: really small like farm in the Mindican Republic. And was

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Speaker 1: she young mom or older mom? My mom? So, my

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Speaker 1: mom had my oldest sister at nineteen, then she had me.

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Speaker 1: I know that she had me like twenty seven, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: oh so there's an age spread. But she moved. So

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Speaker 1: she moved to the to New.

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Speaker 2: York at the age of probably around twenty seven or

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Speaker 2: thirty or how i'll yeah, okay, so she's actually thirty

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Speaker 2: like around that. I told she your mom's your mom's

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Speaker 2: a power house. Yeah, because it's a little bit of

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Speaker 2: a gangster.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she's super gangster. Yeah she sounds gangster.

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Speaker 2: That's a that's a real independent move a woman by

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Speaker 2: herself with kids. Okay, so now I see, I see

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Speaker 2: where the the entrepreneurs coming.

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Speaker 1: In Okay, So you grew up with your mom and

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Speaker 1: uh in New York. Yeah, what's the next play from

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Speaker 1: there that I want to slowly land in the Dali

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Speaker 1: Lama lage. Okay, Dolly Mama. Okay, so boom, I saw boom.

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Speaker 1: I grew up in New York and the Bronx. So

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Speaker 1: let me just cut to the chase. I had a

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Speaker 1: daughter at fifteen. Oh wow, Yeah, so I got pregnant

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Speaker 1: when I was fourteen. I had my daughter at fifteen.

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Speaker 1: Definitely was a decision that I wanted to make, you know,

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Speaker 1: at first, it was really crazy. I didn't want my

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Speaker 1: mom to know. I was about to say, like, how

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Speaker 1: did your mom take that news? Not?

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Speaker 2: Well, did she whoop your book? Because I have a

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Speaker 2: I have a Jamaican mom, like I would have like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's the that's the for sure, Like I have to

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Speaker 2: run away from home because I ran it?

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Speaker 1: Did you actually run away hours? Because they found me?

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Speaker 1: But I actually did before you told her the news? Okay,

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Speaker 1: so she damn I got I really tell the story.

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Speaker 1: Got one hour? Okay. So she found out I was

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Speaker 1: pregnant because she looked through my book bag and found

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Speaker 1: my planned parenthood note that said I have an abortion scheduled,

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Speaker 1: so I was going to go through with it and

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Speaker 1: everything because I was like, my mom's gonna murder. I wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: I would have done this exact thing. I would have

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Speaker 1: been had to miss school that day so I could

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Speaker 1: go handle that business. And she went in my book

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Speaker 1: bag out of like I call that divine into because

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Speaker 1: that child, my daughter, saved my life. But we'll get

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Speaker 1: to that. But she came in and was like, out

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Speaker 1: of all days, never looked at my back, wanted to

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Speaker 1: look through my book back that day in front of you, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: in front of you. Oh, I would have just ran.

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Speaker 1: I would have booked it. That is that the day

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Speaker 1: you ran away? Yeah, shebed the letter and I, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I would have looked it. I'm with you. I would

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Speaker 1: have been like the fear of God would have I'm dead.

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Speaker 1: I'm dead. So yeah, I ran away. But then obviously

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Speaker 1: I was found. It's only so far I can go.

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Speaker 1: We were like hiding at some I wanted me and

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Speaker 1: my baby. Daddy was like hiding out one of his

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Speaker 1: friend's house and he's like, Yo, my mom's about to

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Speaker 1: come home from work. You gotta go. I'm like, fuck.

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Speaker 1: We didn't think this through bad? No, but yeah, so

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Speaker 1: I had I decided. You know, my mom was like, no,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna not have this kid, Like we're gonna go

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Speaker 1: to this appointment, You're not gonna have this child. And

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Speaker 1: you know, I was like, fuck, I gotta do what

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Speaker 1: my mama say, Like, you know, I already messed up

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Speaker 1: pretty bad, so I got to do what she says.

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Speaker 1: I kind of had between my pointment, between that moment

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Speaker 1: and the day of the appointment, I had some thoughts

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Speaker 1: and a change of heart and I was like I

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Speaker 1: actually don't want to I want to have this baby.

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Speaker 1: Like am you told it? No? I had not. I

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Speaker 1: was telling myself, I'm like, wait, I want to have

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Speaker 1: this baby. So as I was sitting the appointment came,

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Speaker 1: you know, she came with me. My sister came as well,

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Speaker 1: and I was sitting in the waiting room and she

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Speaker 1: was like outside and I was like, I can't go

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Speaker 1: through with it. And I was like what is she

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Speaker 1: going to do to me? Like what's the worst so

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Speaker 1: she can do? She really don't care on me, Like

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Speaker 1: I was like what is Like I cannot I need

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Speaker 1: to have my baby. So I like walked out and

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Speaker 1: I said I'm not going to do it, and I

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Speaker 1: stood on baby. But wait, you said it outside in public? No? Y, yeah,

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Speaker 1: in the waiting room. Yeah, you didn't do it in the.

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Speaker 2: Four the four corners of that apartment, because I'm sure

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Speaker 2: we would not be having this right now.

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Speaker 1: So you tell her? What does she say? She was no?

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Speaker 1: She a scene breaks out at the plant parenthound, you know,

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Speaker 1: and she's just like, how can you guys are love

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Speaker 1: She's a child and they're like, well, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: her body and it's her choice. That's the law here.

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Speaker 1: You know that don't fly in the Caribbean. But I'm

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Speaker 1: telling you I would have never lived to see another day.

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Speaker 1: I would have had to run away.

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Speaker 2: I love this story, by the way. It just like

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Speaker 2: makes me love you. So it's such a good story.

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Speaker 2: So so you So she does she she embarrasses you

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Speaker 2: in the in the and you still stick through to it.

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Speaker 1: No, I stand on business. Okay, I'm like, nope, I'm

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Speaker 1: having it. And you know, she loses it and you

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Speaker 1: know the following weeks after that, how was your baby

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Speaker 1: daddy taking the news too? Oh? He he swore up

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Speaker 1: and down. He was like, that was my baby? You

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Speaker 1: ain't wanna come, my baby. I'm like, right, yeah, I

241
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Speaker 1: was fifteen, he was sixteen or something. Guys were young

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Speaker 1: and young in love, young and in love, and it

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Speaker 1: was just like okay, and then yeah, but the weeks

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Speaker 1: after that were really hard for me, but more for

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Speaker 1: my mom. I mean, I don't know for who more honestly,

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Speaker 1: but I just could hear my mother crying through like

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Speaker 1: the walls, and you know, we've talked about it now

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Speaker 1: looking back, and you know, I learned that like she

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Speaker 1: had she got an antidepressant because of that, she was

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Speaker 1: on anti depressants for like twenty years for that. Because

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Speaker 1: of that or that like was like the breaking point

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Speaker 1: for her. I think she was like my mom was

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Speaker 1: a single mom, struggling and stuff, so like in general

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Speaker 1: that yeah, she didn't want that. She really tried to

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Speaker 1: protect me. It wasn't really so much like she was

256
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Speaker 1: being an ass hole mom, Like she just was really

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Speaker 1: trying her best to stick to the plan. You know,

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Speaker 1: I want my daughters to just like not get distracted

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Speaker 1: and not get you know, but sometimes I just feel

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Speaker 1: like when you shelter your kids too much, it tends

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Speaker 1: to make them want to like break out and do

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Speaker 1: more because it's like, oh, this is my only opportunity

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Speaker 1: the house do it all. But like I know, it's

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Speaker 1: ridiculous obviously like that that thought. Girlfriend, Like, no, I

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Speaker 1: saw that, Like they were kids.

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Speaker 2: So anytime I knew kids that like their parents like

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Speaker 2: restricted them to the max. The second they got loose,

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Speaker 2: they went zero to one hundred. And it was just

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Speaker 2: like it just it did the complete opposite.

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Speaker 1: And they had them watched but that ten minutes they weren't. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's literally that. It's like and the law of energy.

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Speaker 1: Love of the way the universal energy works, like too

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Speaker 1: much on something, it's just gonna explode.

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Speaker 2: And so during the pregnancy, So I had best friends

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Speaker 2: in school that you know had kids in high school.

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Speaker 2: How did your whole like high school atmosphere, teachers, and

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Speaker 2: how was your mom treating you during the pregnancy.

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Speaker 1: Not trying to stir up some beet between you and

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Speaker 1: your mom? You know what I'm saying. I get it

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Speaker 1: if you'd be like I'm leading it you know. No, No, no,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I've worked through all this in therapy. No.

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Speaker 1: But so high school was very very interesting. I was

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Speaker 1: a freshman, so I was definitely a baby. You know

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Speaker 1: I got. I definitely got a lot of looks from

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Speaker 1: a lot of teachers. I had some teachers that were

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Speaker 1: really supportive, Like I had a math teacher that he

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Speaker 1: had a cushion for me for the chair, like ready

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Speaker 1: for me, and like you know, and then I had

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Speaker 1: obviously not so many I mean, like displeasing looks like

290
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Speaker 1: how of you know, yeah, like damn you know, And

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Speaker 1: you know, I had like people tell me like, okay,

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Speaker 1: so are you gonna do? Like are you gonna even

293
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Speaker 1: graduate on time? Like you're not, you know, you're going

294
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Speaker 1: to be a statistic like all these other girls who

295
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Speaker 1: get pregnant. You know, you're from the Bronx. You don't

296
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Speaker 1: have too many opportunities or whatever the case. So for me,

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Speaker 1: I took that as a like challenge.

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Speaker 2: Accepted, like I'm approving, right, And that's why you said.

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Speaker 1: That earlier, because like that for me is like challenge accepted.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm about to show show y'all, and you know,

301
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Speaker 1: and and that's exactly what what I did, you know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I graduated on time. After I had my daughter,

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Speaker 1: I went straight to school, Like I think I took

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Speaker 1: off like two weeks maybe or like three weeks and

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00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:43,520
Speaker 1: like I went back to school. Did your mom make

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Speaker 1: you make a promise that you were like in a

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Speaker 1: complete school or something during it, or she didn't make

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Speaker 1: me make a promise, you know, Like my mom didn't really,

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Speaker 1: I mean obviously she was like I just want you

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Speaker 1: to do, like which the right thing. And she once

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00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,600
Speaker 1: she found out like the gender, she like warmed up

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Speaker 1: a bit and she was like, oh, it's a girl.

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Speaker 1: Like we weren't talking for months, and then when I

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Speaker 1: it was the day of my appointment for my ultrasound,

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Speaker 1: she was like, oh, did you find out the gender?

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Speaker 1: And I was like yeah, and she's like what is it?

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Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh my gosh, she's curious,

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Speaker 1: Like it made me really happy. And then she was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: it's a girl, and then forget about it. Since then,

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00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,440
Speaker 1: she like come home from work with baby clothes and

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Speaker 1: she just got mad excited for this child. I love that.

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Speaker 1: I love that because I honestly I was scared for you.

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Speaker 1: I was genuinely like I would have been terrified. No, honestly,

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Speaker 1: it was terrifying. It was it was terrifying. It was

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Speaker 1: really difficult, and then like okay, to top it all, off.

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Speaker 1: Three months later, my other sister comes out pregnant. So

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Speaker 1: she has two teen daughters. Oh she's pregnant. Oh she

328
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:05,160
Speaker 1: she You guys given your money. Hell, yeah, you guys,

329
00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:08,080
Speaker 1: you're giving her my poor mother. Literally, I just say

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Speaker 1: my poor mother. I will say this though, that that's

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Speaker 1: a strong character, that's a unique character.

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Speaker 2: And I don't know, I'm deathly afraid of my mom,

333
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:21,879
Speaker 2: like straight up, like my mom could give me a

334
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,520
Speaker 2: look and I'll run right now at forty. But I

335
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,840
Speaker 2: think that takes a lot of guts to stand in

336
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,000
Speaker 2: that truth of that moment, like I want to keep

337
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,560
Speaker 2: the baby and like see death on the other side

338
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Speaker 2: of the door, because I know as like having.

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Speaker 1: An immigrant mom, like.

340
00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:42,359
Speaker 2: Everyone Jamaican, Puerto Rican, Dominican can relate like, yeah, you're

341
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:42,919
Speaker 2: not gonna live.

342
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Speaker 1: That takes a lot of courage to stand on that.

343
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 1: So like, what did you say you about your business?

344
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,720
Speaker 1: What'd you say? I stood on business? You stood on business.

345
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 1: You definitely stood on business. So then your sister saw

346
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,680
Speaker 1: you stand on business. It was like I'm gonna stand

347
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,080
Speaker 1: on business too. No, literally, like that was like I

348
00:18:58,119 --> 00:18:59,840
Speaker 1: felt like that was the thought process. Like she was like,

349
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,800
Speaker 1: wait a minute if Yady got away with it. It

350
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,040
Speaker 1: was like literally something like that. And then my mom

351
00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:08,520
Speaker 1: at that point, you were like, girl, she threw She

352
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:12,000
Speaker 1: just was like like she was just like, yeah, you

353
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 1: guys are stressing her.

354
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,240
Speaker 2: Und It's just it was just too much. So two

355
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,200
Speaker 2: out of three, yeah, okay, the third one didn't do it.

356
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:20,600
Speaker 1: The third one no, but the third one had her

357
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,120
Speaker 1: own own set of issues. She she just passed away

358
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:28,400
Speaker 1: in December. I'm sorry, and you know she she my sister,

359
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 1: my oldest, had a really hard life. She struggled with

360
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:36,080
Speaker 1: her mental health. She was like diagnosed pretty late with

361
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:40,439
Speaker 1: bipolar disorder. Like you know, women get diagnosed with mental

362
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 1: health disorders such as like ADHD bipolar really late in life.

363
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:49,480
Speaker 1: They just kind of say, oh, she's the trouble maker.

364
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,679
Speaker 1: Like she's just the trouble maker. She's she's a hot

365
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,240
Speaker 1: head or like whatever, and like usually those symptoms go

366
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,680
Speaker 1: go what do you call it unnoticed or just like

367
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,879
Speaker 1: swept on the rug, you know. So yeah, she you know,

368
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 1: struggled with her weight as well. As a teen, she

369
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,240
Speaker 1: was pretty obese and then she had like the surgery

370
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:15,080
Speaker 1: and like but then she got addicted to drugs and alcohol,

371
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Speaker 1: and then well that's not good for them if she

372
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,399
Speaker 1: if she had bipolar exactly, it was if she couldn't

373
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:25,040
Speaker 1: you know, people who have bipolar, so you cannot participate

374
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,440
Speaker 1: in those things. You know, you can't even smoke weed

375
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 1: low key. Yeah. So and that was going undetected for

376
00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:36,880
Speaker 1: that whole time. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah yeah. So then yeah,

377
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:42,720
Speaker 1: she passed away an overdose this past December, and since then,

378
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,159
Speaker 1: I definitely have had to be like step up and

379
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:49,639
Speaker 1: be the matriarch of my family, be the the person

380
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 1: who takes care of it, looks after my mother. And

381
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 1: it's isn't that crazy how I'm the I'm the baby,

382
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 1: I'm the youngest. Wow, yeah, you know, but that was

383
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:01,239
Speaker 1: your oldest, right, Yeah, that's my oldest. Yeah, and then

384
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,920
Speaker 1: I imagine your mom took it really hard. Yeah, it's

385
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:08,120
Speaker 1: it's it's it's been hard. I mean it's been hard.

386
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 1: It's been hard for you know, grief doesn't go away,

387
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: like you just learned to live with it and it

388
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 1: becomes something else. I think over time, because there's a

389
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,920
Speaker 1: moment I mean it's fresh, Like there's still moments where

390
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 1: I like, I'll listen to a song that she liked,

391
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,719
Speaker 1: and then I'll like start fucking crying in the car

392
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,879
Speaker 1: while I'm driving, and shit, you know, just thinking and

393
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 1: what I think about the most really is like what

394
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 1: a hard life she had. More than anything else, it

395
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,160
Speaker 1: just makes me feel so like bad. You know. Yeah,

396
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 1: I was talking with Van Laythan.

397
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:41,680
Speaker 2: I was talking to him about trauma, because what that's

398
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 2: that's a trum Like everyone that's around that situation that

399
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 2: happened to your sister is that's a that's a trauma, right,

400
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 2: And I was asking him like do people can people

401
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 2: grow get like, can you survive trauma? And he goes

402
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 2: he said something really interesting. He's like, you know how

403
00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 2: the rings are in a tree. He's like, they don't

404
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,680
Speaker 2: go anywhere. The tree can still grow over it. He's like,

405
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 2: but that trauma still lives there.

406
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:04,920
Speaker 1: Yeah.

407
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 2: So it's like when you say you hear that song, well,

408
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,920
Speaker 2: I mean it's still recent, but I'm just saying, like,

409
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 2: I feel like kind of just resonating with what you

410
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 2: said in regards to like grief being a while, Like

411
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 2: that's a very traumatic like that's a very traumatic experience

412
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 2: you have, so like just learning to how to kind

413
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 2: of be a tree and grow around the ring, but

414
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,400
Speaker 2: knowing that that ring is like probably not going.

415
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:35,399
Speaker 1: To go it anywhere, right, Yeah, yeah, exactly, And you

416
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 1: know it's just been then my other sister, I'm a

417
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 1: very big wellness advocate. We're jumping a little bit, but

418
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:47,399
Speaker 1: you know, I've found a Dolly mama because of just

419
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,680
Speaker 1: my upbringing. So my other sister who had the who

420
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:57,320
Speaker 1: she's the middle child, she has schizophrenia. She developed schizophrenia

421
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,440
Speaker 1: later in her life, in her late twenties, and she's

422
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 1: been struggling with also adapting to that. And I literally

423
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,680
Speaker 1: just had to help, you know, get her proper care

424
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,400
Speaker 1: and stuff. And so that's two sisters down.

425
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 2: And where did where in this story did you go?

426
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:21,120
Speaker 2: Because you're living in New York right and then yeah,

427
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:22,880
Speaker 2: wait wait, I don't want to skip too much around.

428
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:26,680
Speaker 2: So you're living in New York because now it's you're you,

429
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 2: You became the matriarch. It sounds like later later now

430
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 2: all right?

431
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 1: Yeah? Now and your your where does your mom live now?

432
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 1: She's back in New York? Still? Okay? Yeah, all right,

433
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: take me back to how you end up here? For sure?

434
00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:04,919
Speaker 1: So high school graduated, stand on business, stood on business.

435
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 1: I've talked about this before through my cooking series on

436
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,680
Speaker 1: on Instagram. But my the father of my daughter, my

437
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:18,640
Speaker 1: baby father, also unfortunately got addicted to drugs as well

438
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 1: after my daughter was a shoes too, and you know

439
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,920
Speaker 1: the street drug angel does, right, Yeah, oh that's a

440
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,920
Speaker 1: dangerous one. That's a bad one. Yeah, So it really

441
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,720
Speaker 1: slowed down his development and so he just hasn't hasn't

442
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 1: been able to bounce back since. So when that happened,

443
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 1: I had to That's when it clicked for me like

444
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 1: oh shit, like I'm doing this ship like on my

445
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 1: own Loki, you know what I mean. And then that

446
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:52,640
Speaker 1: hasn't been tough because yeah, yeah, So then I had

447
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 1: prom so prom came around that this is pivotal prom

448
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 1: came around. I couldn't afford prom, you know they make

449
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: you buy these packages and ship and all that stuff.

450
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 1: I afford it, and I was kind of dipping into

451
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 1: music videos at that time. I had did my first

452
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 1: music video when I was seventeen and I was a

453
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,119
Speaker 1: junior in high school, right, so it was like a

454
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,680
Speaker 1: pretty big deal was on TV and stuff. So everybody

455
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, Like it was just like

456
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 1: the teen mom who's like also a video it's just like,

457
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: what is going on? It's a lot.

458
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 2: But hey, hey, hey hey the girls was probably hating

459
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,440
Speaker 2: on you'd amazing.

460
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 1: I don't know. I do a baby boy sometimes that

461
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:35,440
Speaker 1: was awkward. I like it, okay, so you yeah, I

462
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,200
Speaker 1: like it. So what happens at the problem when you

463
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,399
Speaker 1: realize you can't afford it? Okay, here we go. Okay,

464
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 1: So I have met this this guy who did like

465
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 1: bts for music videos, who was also like knew a

466
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: lot of dancers strippers. So I was like, yo, I

467
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 1: need to make some money real quick. Can you take

468
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 1: me to the strip club so I can make some

469
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 1: money for prom? Oh? You trying to get your prom

470
00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 1: and murder? You got it?

471
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,159
Speaker 2: I was gonna kill you.

472
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 1: Let's balls. What is going on with this girl? Okay? No,

473
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:08,439
Speaker 1: I get it though. I would I ain't gonna lie.

474
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 2: If I look like you and had the body that

475
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 2: you had, I would have been like for sure, and

476
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 2: I need to make some money.

477
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,400
Speaker 1: I would have done the same, not no no lies.

478
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 1: Yeah okay. So and you had a baby too, so yeah,

479
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 1: so I was like he was like yeah. I was

480
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 1: like yeah, and he was like okay, come on. So

481
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 1: he took me to some hole in the wall and

482
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 1: Hunt's Point, right, oh, Ship, I didn't measure this hold on, y'all. See,

483
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,880
Speaker 1: this is why I'm gonna use your hilarious use it cook.

484
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 1: This story is just se so Juste's story. I'm gonna

485
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 1: have to write a book. You have to, yo. This

486
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 1: story sounds really good.

487
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 2: By the way, there's like I'm like, yo, I can't

488
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 2: and it's crazy because I can't, like miss your I

489
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 2: have to remember the little milestones that you say.

490
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, but all right, so you go to the strip.

491
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 1: How was this guy that's like helping you out? Old

492
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 1: dude man got out of jail, and Ship lives in

493
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 1: the projects telling your hotels. So so he's like yeah, yeah,

494
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:15,400
Speaker 1: So he takes me to this like strip club, hold

495
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,680
Speaker 1: in the warm Hunts Point in the Bronx. You know,

496
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:22,199
Speaker 1: Hunt's Point. Hunts Point is not good. I don't need

497
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 1: to be a hunts Point. Yeah. Yeah, So I'm like,

498
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:30,399
Speaker 1: let's do it, and he takes me and he's like, yo,

499
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 1: Like it literally was like a movie looking back on

500
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 1: it now, but I was in it. So when you're

501
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,639
Speaker 1: in it, you're not looking at it like your old

502
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 1: dangerous situation. So he was like Yo, this's my little sis, like,

503
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 1: you know, trying some money, like make sure you look

504
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 1: after her, So like, come on, make sure you look

505
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 1: after her. And I was like and then I just

506
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 1: like went on stage and I was like doing my

507
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 1: little bullshit dance because I definitely did not know how

508
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 1: to pull the Yeah, and I made like two hundred

509
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:05,120
Speaker 1: three hundred dollars that night or something like that. Yeah,

510
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 1: money for a teenager. Hell. So I was like, when

511
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 1: I come back, I did I don't know what I

512
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:15,879
Speaker 1: want to say. Yeah. So at the time I was

513
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 1: working at Children's Place retail. Oh yeah, I.

514
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 2: Definitely would have never been back. My mom would be like,

515
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 2: where is she at? You lucky the rings weren't around,

516
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 2: you know where you put the GPS dragging?

517
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 1: Oh my god. But listen, my mom ended up finding

518
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:34,119
Speaker 1: out later and she just laughed because at this point

519
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 1: I just feel like she was just like, Yo, you're nuts, bro,

520
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 1: Like you know, she's She's like, I'm laughing because I'm

521
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 1: about to kill you, like you seconds second, I'm sad. No,

522
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: But yeah, I ended up going back, and I actually

523
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 1: was a stripper for like two years. I did it

524
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 1: after high school. I continued to but then at the

525
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 1: time at the same time simultaneously, and your mom found

526
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 1: out how long into the stripping, oh, maybe like a year,

527
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 1: and she kind of like found the outfits in my

528
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 1: in my closet, Like, you know.

529
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 2: You're not good at hiding, You're terrible. I would have

530
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 2: hit that shit in the back of a freezer or something.

531
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:25,000
Speaker 1: So she found it. I was just like, what does

532
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 1: that mean. She's like, you're poll dancing. I was like, yeah,

533
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 1: earned some extra cash, and she was just like, oh

534
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 1: my goodness. And then she mentioned college. She was like,

535
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:40,719
Speaker 1: you need to go to college. And then I'm just curious.

536
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 2: It sounds like drugs were very relevant and probably popular

537
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 2: if you're even if your baby daddy starts doing angel.

538
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 1: So I'm curious, like what stopped you or did you

539
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 1: ever partake in the drugs? See? So I not definitely

540
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 1: not that stuff, you know what I mean. I love weed, okay, okay,

541
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 1: but but even in the strip clubs like that, Yeah, no, no,

542
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 1: it is, it is. It is. And I actually didn't

543
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 1: because I was scared because of what I saw it

544
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 1: due to my baby daddy because he was tweaking, you know,

545
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 1: and my sister, my older sister, you know what I mean.

546
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 1: I was. I just was scared to like not be

547
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: in control, so I just didn't really want to participate.

548
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,959
Speaker 1: So I actually was pretty good about that. Yeah, they

549
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,959
Speaker 1: scared you straight pretty much. Yeah. I just would drink though.

550
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 1: I would drink a little bit to just kind of

551
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: take the edge off, which is also just very unhealthy obviously,

552
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But you were like extremely stressed,

553
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 1: like imagine a fifteen year old or seventeen or seventeen

554
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 1: year old ege eighteen. Now did you end up going

555
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 1: to prom by the way I did? Okay? Good? You

556
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 1: stand on business, okay, mad respect, But you're also from

557
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 1: New York, so I'm not. Yeah, okay. And it's so

558
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 1: funny because when you were calling a nine one seven

559
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: for social reason, I did not think you were a

560
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 1: New Yorker. And then the second you said it, I

561
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 1: said her number was nine one seven. Okay, So you

562
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 1: so your.

563
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,719
Speaker 2: Mom just kind of rolls with the punches like at

564
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 2: this point, I can't control her, so right, okay, right,

565
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 2: And I'm like, and you're paying the bills at this

566
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 2: point because you really making money? Yeah, yeah, I was

567
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 2: looking after my daughter and I was like putting down,

568
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 2: you know, So okay, so what we're what's next to?

569
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 1: So much?

570
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 2: So you go, you you do two years of the

571
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 2: stripping and your taking care of business. Okay, you graduated

572
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 2: and then graduate high school.

573
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 1: Then I at this point two years then I'm deep

574
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: in as well in the music video I Guess World.

575
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 1: Then did a few music videos, and I had a

576
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 1: platform on Twitter. That was when Twitter first came out.

577
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 1: So that's when like the whole having an audience, having

578
00:31:56,320 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 1: a following became a thing. Yeah, and natural way of things.

579
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,040
Speaker 1: People started like following me a lot because they kept

580
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 1: seeing that girl in the videos. Hence now the popularity

581
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 1: from them that yeah, okay, okay, what videos were you in?

582
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: So I throcking that thing? The dream I did like

583
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 1: French Montana was the biggest one, the shock collar one.

584
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 1: What's the one that I think everybody knows me from

585
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 1: the most. Okay. And then when you were doing those,

586
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: how did that impact you in any way good or bad?

587
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:32,960
Speaker 1: Like the bed like you know, if you had to

588
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 1: be look, I mean honestly, I just like I realized that,

589
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 1: you know, women are just so undervalued, mistreated, treated as commodities,

590
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:53,240
Speaker 1: as objects, you know, and although yeah, I was making

591
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 1: money from my looks. I felt like I had so

592
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 1: much more to share, so much more to talk about,

593
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 1: so much more, Like this was just me trying to

594
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 1: make some money on the side. Like I wasn't like

595
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be the world's best video box and it

596
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 1: was just really like I was trying to make some

597
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 1: dough on the side, you know, and everybody was like

598
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 1: you're you're super thick and Kurby like you should do it.

599
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 1: And obviously those women I grew up looking at music videos.

600
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 1: I was like, damn, one day, I want to be

601
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: like her, like, you know. So it was it was

602
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 1: very cool when I was in it. It was it

603
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 1: was fun, you know, I got to travel. But then

604
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: there was also that side of it that I just

605
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 1: felt like just super dismissed and pushed under the rug

606
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 1: and not not seeing that valued. Yeah. Yeah, I did.

607
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 2: H When I first moved to LA, I did, like

608
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 2: soul trained, God, please God, I hope I shouldn't have

609
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 2: even confessed this, and I did. I think it was

610
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 2: like fifty cents in the club and I just and

611
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 2: I did, like I think Eric Sherman did the Redman

612
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 2: a song, and uh, but Anyways, what I had seen

613
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 2: in the industry was like they were just definitely predators.

614
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: It was just it was a predator chilled.

615
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 2: You just couldn't trust for anybody really, and it's it's

616
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 2: like literally it was like I walked in one door

617
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:08,759
Speaker 2: and was like I'm walking out the other because the

618
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 2: dudes were just so obnoxious and it wasn't ever like

619
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 2: the main talent. It was like whatever whoever, whatever guy

620
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:19,280
Speaker 2: was in the background affiliated with the main.

621
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:22,720
Speaker 1: Yes, trying to get trying to get you. I definitely

622
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 1: had my share of that when I was in it.

623
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 1: Just men that were like, oh, like you're trying to

624
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 1: be in this news video and I'm like, bro, it's

625
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:34,400
Speaker 1: never that deep, Like, never that deep. Yeah, it was

626
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 1: never that deep. Like you know, I will say it,

627
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 1: I was definitely prayed on, that's the word. But I

628
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 1: will say that like I was. I wasn't I wasn't down. Yeah. Well,

629
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: I think too.

630
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 2: If you've been approached a million one time, I think

631
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,880
Speaker 2: it's easier to say no, right, you'd be like, Okay,

632
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 2: let's see this this, what's your what's your I was

633
00:34:57,880 --> 00:34:59,880
Speaker 2: thinking about this the other day, like I've been with

634
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 2: the Christian guy the bad boy, the older guy, the

635
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 2: younger guy. And I was like, yo, all of them

636
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 2: are just the same guy, just dressed in different on

637
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 2: the outfits.

638
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:10,799
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

639
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:13,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, gets to a more where it's just like now

640
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 2: I just need reference checks. Give me your three ex

641
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 2: girlfriend's numbers, you know right, I will go from there.

642
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 2: So after this, after the is this when you start update?

643
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:24,919
Speaker 1: Do you want an update on the dish? I'm about

644
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 1: to cover it. Yeah, I saw you put bullion in it, cilantro. Yeah,

645
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,760
Speaker 1: give me the update. It looks really delicious by the Okay,

646
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 1: so right now the rice has soaked up the water.

647
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 1: The chicken is pretty much cooked, because now it's just

648
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 1: the last bit of it of the cooking when the

649
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 1: rice cooks with it. If that makes sense? Am I

650
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 1: speaking English? Sometimes I don't even know if I'm talking English.

651
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: But yeah, now I'm gonna cover it. I put some

652
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 1: cilantro in it, and we're gonna lower the fire. I

653
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:55,839
Speaker 1: was gonna say that fires up high. Yeah, we're gonna

654
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 1: lower the fire. I'm just waiting for the I got

655
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 1: nervous and that plastic flew over to that electric gun.

656
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 1: All right. I just don't want the rice to car

657
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 1: I feel like, you know what, I wonder if do

658
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,680
Speaker 1: Puerto Ricans make this dish? Yeah? I feel like I've

659
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 1: had this at my homegirl, I'm sure you have.

660
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm genuinely like, I wonder how spicy it's

661
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 2: gonna be because I smelled that it's not spicy at all.

662
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 2: I'm gonna try it. It looks good, it looks like

663
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get leftovers. Yeah, okay, all right, So is

664
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 2: this at this point? Are you still you needed a

665
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 2: neighbor and look at you, you totally needed I'm.

666
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 1: So glad because I was gonna ruin my fick. God

667
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:39,359
Speaker 1: that so you at this point, you're still in New

668
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 1: York doing all of this stuff. Yes, I'm still in

669
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:48,400
Speaker 1: New York doing all this stuff. You know. Are you

670
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 1: still with your baby daddy during all of this? No? No, no,

671
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: I Me and my baby daddy were done when I

672
00:36:55,160 --> 00:37:02,359
Speaker 1: was a two. Okay, around that time, we I had

673
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:07,800
Speaker 1: ended it because it was definitely like just unhealthy and

674
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,840
Speaker 1: it wasn't it wasn't even safe anymore, and it was

675
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, no, you know, we had a plan

676
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,279
Speaker 1: and like you ain't stick to the plan. Bro, Yeah,

677
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 1: he wasn't on business. Wasn't standing on business. That's my

678
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:22,800
Speaker 1: term for today. I stay on business.

679
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 2: Change my name in all your phones if you have

680
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:27,720
Speaker 2: my number, that I stand on business.

681
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I like that. I do that too. Yeah.

682
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,440
Speaker 2: So now you're a single mom, you're totally now are

683
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 2: you still living with your mom? Are you guys all

684
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:39,879
Speaker 2: like sticking together as one solid team?

685
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 1: Yes. So my mother but being the amazing mom that

686
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:47,279
Speaker 1: she is, she once that she saw like obviously she's

687
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 1: gonna have grandkids. She I don't know how she did it,

688
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 1: but she always surprises me. Moves into like a bigger

689
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 1: apartment so that we each have her I love her.

690
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 1: I love her, Okay, I love her. She moves to

691
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:01,879
Speaker 1: a big apartment where we each have our own room

692
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,279
Speaker 1: so that we could each have our room with our kid. Awesome. Yeah.

693
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 1: So and then my oldest sister had her room, she

694
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,800
Speaker 1: had a room, and then you know, she was just

695
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: such a great grand She's such a great grandmother and

696
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:18,879
Speaker 1: just been like so supportive and yeah. So during that time,

697
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 1: we are I'm in New York and I'm still I'm

698
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:25,279
Speaker 1: living with my mom. Still I move out when I'm

699
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 1: like our own twenty twenty one to my own place,

700
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 1: still very young, like you were really standing on business,

701
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 1: you were focused. Yeah, I like I was forced to

702
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:37,920
Speaker 1: grow up so fast because of the responsibilities with my

703
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:41,760
Speaker 1: child and around me. Like I feel like I absorbed everything,

704
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 1: and I like I watched you know, I never meant

705
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 1: to like cause my mom any harm by having this child.

706
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 1: This was just something I wanted to do.

707
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 2: But you were also a child making a yeah, yeah exactly,

708
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 2: like looking back to you, well, I don't want to

709
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:58,280
Speaker 2: ask that question because now you have your the skipped

710
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 2: you know that question.

711
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 1: No mine mine, No. When it came out, it is

712
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:03,479
Speaker 1: really weird.

713
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,479
Speaker 2: But I'm just saying like, because you know, looking back,

714
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 2: like I was drunking with you earlier, Like you know,

715
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 2: they don't they don't tell you all the non the

716
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 2: realities of becoming a mom.

717
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 1: You know, you kind of have this vision of like

718
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 1: the what they show you in the movies. I'm like,

719
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 1: but they don't. They don't. They don't showcase that fine break.

720
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 2: So like looking back, the reason why I was retracting

721
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:27,600
Speaker 2: a question is because now obviously I have a daughter too.

722
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 2: It's like once the you know you love your child,

723
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 2: obviously you would never take it back, but like you

724
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,799
Speaker 2: just you really realize, like you didn't really know all

725
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 2: what was.

726
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 1: Entailed, wasn't sign of course, and it comes out. It

727
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 1: comes out later on and bits and pieces as you

728
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 1: as a child starts getting older. You know, I'm like, damn,

729
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:51,240
Speaker 1: Like for a long time, A dealt with the guilt

730
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 1: of Beau I didn't grow up with a father, and

731
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, I didn't give my daughter that. Fuck

732
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 1: I was selfish, you know. I dealt with that. But

733
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 1: you know I've healed from that, and you know those

734
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:07,399
Speaker 1: things are not mine to control. But you know, yeah,

735
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: it comes out and then you think, damn, I didn't

736
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:13,800
Speaker 1: think this through. It's not just all like changing diapers

737
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 1: and dressing her up like a little doll. You know,

738
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 1: it's it's a lot more work. You're raising an actual

739
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 1: human being to be a decent human in this world. Yeah,

740
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:25,879
Speaker 1: and that takes a lot of work because of all

741
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:29,320
Speaker 1: the outside influences that we have to be up against

742
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:29,880
Speaker 1: as parents.

743
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 2: You know, I always tell people the second you walk

744
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 2: out your front door, you're being sold to, whether it's

745
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 2: the car you drive, the candy, the chips at the aisle, McDonald's, whatever, billboard, sex, whatever, drugs, alcohol.

746
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 2: The second you step outside of those four walls, everyone's like,

747
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 2: give me some of your money.

748
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 1: And so as a parent, could you imagine you're like,

749
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 1: eat this home cooked meal, stay in the house.

750
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 2: And they're not with you when you're getting sold outside

751
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 2: all the time. So yeah, it's a lot of.

752
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 1: It's a lot. It's a lot, a lot, And yeah,

753
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 1: I definitely there were times where I felt really lost.

754
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,880
Speaker 1: There were times where I missed a lot, you know,

755
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 1: from my kid as well. Because I was traveling. I

756
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 1: started hosting clubs. This was when Instagram then started popping

757
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 1: off and then the follow you know, the following count

758
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 1: and all that stuff started to matter. And from that

759
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 1: and the music video of the French Montana, I was

760
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,879
Speaker 1: able to travel, you know, all of the United States

761
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 1: and even to the UK because they wanted to meet

762
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 1: the girl from the music video. It was dope. It

763
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 1: was like damn, wow, So they're paying you to just

764
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 1: be in clubs. Yeah, and this was this was an error.

765
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 1: Do you know I remember this. I remember when people

766
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 1: hosting clubs. I remember that they still do that kind

767
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 1: of they're still not as much, but yeah, yeah, they

768
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:54,879
Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, but are you drinking at this time too?

769
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 1: Do you think that like you were starting to because

770
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 1: that's a that's a weird space you're in too, right, Yeah,

771
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 1: Like I didn't develop an addiction to alcohol, but like, yeah,

772
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 1: at these things, you're you're drinking. Yeah, you're at the club,

773
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:10,719
Speaker 1: you having a drink too? Does it feel like work

774
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:14,839
Speaker 1: as you're doing it? Yeah? Or no? You know? Young? Yeah,

775
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 1: I was young, and there were moments where I had

776
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 1: to check myself and be like, girl, like, be grateful

777
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 1: that you get you're making a living this way because

778
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:24,759
Speaker 1: a lot of people work a lot harder, you know

779
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:26,359
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But there were moments where I would

780
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:29,320
Speaker 1: be a bit ungrateful of the situation or whatever. But

781
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:30,919
Speaker 1: it was a lot of fun.

782
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 2: And did you feel now some women like it looks

783
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 2: like you're just naturally you know, like fat goes and wherever.

784
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:42,399
Speaker 2: Everybody's different where the fat goes. But did you feel

785
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 2: precious to maintain a certain level of beauty?

786
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 1: Yes? Yes, yeah, we can touch on this. So yeah, girl,

787
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 1: when I was in the strip club, the girls that

788
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 1: were making a lot of money had the big butt,

789
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:59,800
Speaker 1: smallways ratio situation, I definitely always had a nice figure,

790
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:05,759
Speaker 1: but I went and got as shots back in the day, yes,

791
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 1: and then I got them removed back in twenty sixteen

792
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 1: for my health that had gotten a breast augmentation as well.

793
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,800
Speaker 1: And all of this was to appease the male gaze

794
00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 1: and to make more money from the mail gaze. You

795
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 1: know it was it never really felt like anything was

796
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:25,920
Speaker 1: done for me at that time, and then I had

797
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,120
Speaker 1: like my awakening. Yeah, but the.

798
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 2: But it's I know you're saying it's for the male gates,

799
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:37,000
Speaker 2: but I mean technically, like I've only been with you

800
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 2: for a little bit, but you scream entrepreneur like you

801
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 2: you are definitely one hundred percent entrepreneur. So it's like

802
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 2: you're in this industry where you're looking over and you're like, well,

803
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 2: the product is making more money over here, so is

804
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:53,080
Speaker 2: it like do you think it was mail gaze or

805
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 2: more like, okay, if this is just a business move,

806
00:43:56,760 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 2: but maybe you don't realize, like how what the fine

807
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 2: print of the negatives?

808
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 1: Exactly exactly, And that's exactly how I looked at it,

809
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 1: Like I was like, oh, the money is over here

810
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 1: that you know, I'm trying to make the best money move.

811
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 1: So definitely looked at it like that, but then you

812
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 1: don't really realize what goes behind you know, closed doors,

813
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:19,839
Speaker 1: which is just like a lot of times women doing

814
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: drugs in the locker room. Yeah, or I definitely you

815
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:29,840
Speaker 1: know this, This happened to me twice where I got drugged.

816
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 1: Oh wow, yeah, yeah, that's got to be like extreme scary. Yeah.

817
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,879
Speaker 1: For the first time, I was able to make it home,

818
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: thank god, but it's very scary out there for real,

819
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 1: it was. It was really scary. The second time. It

820
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 1: was actually by a doctor who drugged me. I went

821
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:48,239
Speaker 1: on a date, you know that that drug that.

822
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:50,040
Speaker 2: Did they Yeah, where you wake up and you don't

823
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:55,800
Speaker 2: remember were you able to like uh, like what do

824
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 2: you call it, like turnament or anything? Or do you

825
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 2: or did you go through the phase. I'm gonna just

826
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 2: say this just from speaking from a woman's standpoint of like, well,

827
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 2: if I hadn't put myself in this position, then you know,

828
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:10,280
Speaker 2: it's like almost like it's my fault that it happened.

829
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 2: Of course I went through the Okay, Yeah, I definitely

830
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 2: did go through all of that, Like it's my fault

831
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 2: for putting myself in this position. But also I was

832
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:19,759
Speaker 2: like I was like literally on a date, like yeah,

833
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:20,560
Speaker 2: I had an.

834
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:23,439
Speaker 1: Actual restaurant, you know. And then from then on shit

835
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 1: went less like I don't even you know, yeah, but

836
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 1: yeah I thought about it being like my fall and stuff,

837
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 1: and I didn't. I didn't press charges, right, Yeah, a

838
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:33,879
Speaker 1: lot of women do that, a lot of women.

839
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:37,320
Speaker 2: I got to a point in my twenties where I

840
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,920
Speaker 2: only did breakfast in lunch dates because guy's had so

841
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:44,720
Speaker 2: many different games of like, well we went to dinner

842
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 2: and like you're a tea, you're teasing me or whatever.

843
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 2: And I was like, yo, if I could reduce any

844
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:53,800
Speaker 2: of these like extra stupid ass pressures like and I

845
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:56,719
Speaker 2: remember like I would, then I started creeping up just

846
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 2: more to breakfast, and dudes would be like breakfast, click

847
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 2: fuck you. Like, but it just got to the point

848
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 2: where it's just like I'm sick of battling myself over

849
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 2: something you're doing. You know, I've been in a situation

850
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 2: where you're saying no to a guy and a guy's

851
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:14,279
Speaker 2: like no, and you're like, well we're gonna am I

852
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:16,279
Speaker 2: gonna end up like a scene on the movies, like

853
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 2: well you know what I'm saying, Like it's crazy out there,

854
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:21,120
Speaker 2: and then you just start to think, I wouldn't have

855
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:24,080
Speaker 2: if I wouldn't have put myself in this situation. Really

856
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 2: it's not the case. But I just remember when I

857
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 2: was younger, I would always go, Okay, maybe I could

858
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 2: try something different, but like you said, a date, a

859
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 2: normal setting, you don't think those things happen.

860
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:37,919
Speaker 1: And then also, you know, you you're a doctor's fair,

861
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 1: he's a doctor. You know.

862
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:41,640
Speaker 2: It's just like, actually happened to a girlfriend of mine,

863
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:44,839
Speaker 2: like a couple of years ago, young beautiful girl, influencer,

864
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:50,960
Speaker 2: similar situation. Hers ended pretty bad. It's scary, and it

865
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:52,879
Speaker 2: took a lot of courage for her to come out

866
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:56,319
Speaker 2: and like address it and you know, and still traumatize

867
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 2: from it.

868
00:46:56,760 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, It's definitely made me just I just didn't

869
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 1: want to be a part of the night life world anymore,

870
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:09,080
Speaker 1: and I wanted to do other things, and I just

871
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:12,320
Speaker 1: wasn't sure what, you know, at the time, I was

872
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 1: twenty one. This is when I was done with the

873
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:32,759
Speaker 1: strip club and hosting in videos videos. Video hosting kind

874
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:35,279
Speaker 1: of went on still because you know, the money came,

875
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 1: I had to. But around this time I started to

876
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 1: I guess go back to the things that brought me

877
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:47,840
Speaker 1: joy as a teen and as a child, and I

878
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:51,880
Speaker 1: wanted to do something more for me as opposed to

879
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,279
Speaker 1: just like money. I think that was like what my

880
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 1: thought process was at the time. And also, oh, I

881
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 1: was just like online so terribly. I was suicidal, uh

882
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 1: you know after the when I got the breast augmentation

883
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 1: a year later, I had like complications with it and

884
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 1: I needed to get them removed, and I just was

885
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:16,440
Speaker 1: like I remember being in my like back in my

886
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,239
Speaker 1: mom's house because she had to take care of me,

887
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 1: and I'm just thinking, like what the fuck, like yo,

888
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 1: like this is not it, Like none of this is it,

889
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:32,359
Speaker 1: and I want out, and I don't know how I'm

890
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 1: gonna do it, but I want out, you know. And

891
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 1: I think I had like a you know when people

892
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 1: say you had an awakening, so like after that, I

893
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:42,919
Speaker 1: was like I had an awakening, and but it was hard.

894
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:44,800
Speaker 1: I was like also battling with my mental health. I

895
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:49,759
Speaker 1: had severe panic attacks anxiety. I think probably definitely was

896
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:53,440
Speaker 1: PTSD for sure, but all throughout my twenties I had

897
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:55,080
Speaker 1: some really bad panic attacks.

898
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:58,279
Speaker 2: Do you mind describing like what that panic attack felt like?

899
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 2: Just for people that don't even know if they're experiencing.

900
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:06,399
Speaker 1: So for me, it felt like I had this fear

901
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 1: that I was gonna lose my mind because like I

902
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 1: was in my head and like you know, when you're

903
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:14,279
Speaker 1: in your head, you're like you're almost like analyzing each

904
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:17,000
Speaker 1: and every thought that comes into your mind, and you're

905
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:20,400
Speaker 1: and I don't know, it drives me insane, you know

906
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like when you're in your head, so mutch,

907
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean I do that all the time.

908
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:25,920
Speaker 1: I'd be, like.

909
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 2: I was telling Jared earlier, I'm like, Yo, people don't

910
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:32,120
Speaker 2: need to tell me negative things about me.

911
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 1: I do that very good job all by myself. You

912
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 1: ain't gonta point out that, right, I'm the first one, like,

913
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:41,520
Speaker 1: I'll do it. But I'm curious.

914
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:44,399
Speaker 2: Your sisters had struggled with a little bit of meountal health.

915
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 2: Were did that also like make what you were going

916
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:51,839
Speaker 2: through worse? Because or was that around the time when

917
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:55,400
Speaker 2: you had discovered like maybe one had bipolar, one had schizophrenia,

918
00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:56,759
Speaker 2: and then you start to be in your head a

919
00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:58,360
Speaker 2: little bit more exactly?

920
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:03,359
Speaker 1: Okay, this was at that time with the panic attacks. Yeah,

921
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:06,080
Speaker 1: my sister had had her mental breakdown and then my

922
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:08,560
Speaker 1: other Yeah, so I was like, also, damn, like my

923
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 1: sister's like, that's gonna happen to me. Well yeah, so

924
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:15,279
Speaker 1: I was like I would have been scared. Scared. Yeah,

925
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:19,520
Speaker 1: And it really stemmed from just a really awful experience

926
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 1: that I had at the emergency room in the hospital.

927
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 1: Another reason why I started alling Mama and things like that,

928
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:27,360
Speaker 1: which will let me tell you something. I'm seeing it,

929
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 1: I'm seeing and I love hearing it because okay, go ahead.

930
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 1: So yeah, my panic attacks stemmed from a really horrible

931
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 1: experience I had in the emergency room in the hospital

932
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 1: in the Bronx. I had come from a really long

933
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:46,440
Speaker 1: flight in London and might have really bad back problems.

934
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:49,319
Speaker 1: I have a hip and pinchment syndrome, and my back

935
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 1: was killing me. Oh Like I was in so much pain,

936
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:55,680
Speaker 1: like from just sitting on the plane and stuff like

937
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:57,520
Speaker 1: you don't really get comfortable on the plane, you know.

938
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:01,040
Speaker 1: So I was like, Damn, I think I'm gonna have

939
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 1: to go to the er. I'm so much pain. Like

940
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:07,040
Speaker 1: I don't take narcotics or like perks or anything like that,

941
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 1: but I was like, I think I need something really

942
00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:12,239
Speaker 1: strong So I went in there and I was telling

943
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 1: them about my pain and like my day and like

944
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: what I had gone through, and you know, I told

945
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 1: them I said I need something really strong. So they

946
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:24,920
Speaker 1: see a brown woman asking for pain meds, first thing

947
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:29,360
Speaker 1: they think is she's an addict. Yeah, so instead of

948
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 1: giving me what I know is okay for my body,

949
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:36,879
Speaker 1: they gave me a concoction of medication and sent me home.

950
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,759
Speaker 1: And then I was hallucinating. I thought you were going

951
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:43,480
Speaker 1: to say, like, baby Chile, No, no, they gave me

952
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:45,800
Speaker 1: me some shit, gave me some pill. I don't know

953
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:50,680
Speaker 1: what the fuck sent me home? Girl, I was hallucinating.

954
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 1: I was not myself. I was having a psychosis episode. Yeah,

955
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,640
Speaker 1: and I had to go back to the emergency. I

956
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 1: remember being at my mom's house and just like my

957
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 1: daughter was coming up to me and like this was

958
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:09,320
Speaker 1: like after the hospital, and I was just like like

959
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 1: I just didn't even reco Like it's like I didn't

960
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 1: even know who she was. It was so weird. So

961
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,400
Speaker 1: then I went back to the hospital. Anybody, Yeah, I

962
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 1: went back to the hospital and I was like, yo,

963
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:21,719
Speaker 1: what the fuck is wrong with me? Like what is

964
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,360
Speaker 1: going on? And they were like I had to explain

965
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:26,800
Speaker 1: to them that the day the night before, I was

966
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:28,759
Speaker 1: here for pain and they gave me. I don't know

967
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:30,480
Speaker 1: what they gave me, but they need to look at

968
00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:33,279
Speaker 1: what they gave me. So there was nothing I could

969
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 1: do but wait, waited out and it was the most

970
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:42,480
Speaker 1: awful experience of my entire life that would have Yeah. Yeah,

971
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:45,640
Speaker 1: so so that like even more yeah and I and

972
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 1: at that time, I was dating my ex and he

973
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:50,759
Speaker 1: he was on the phone with me the entire time

974
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,239
Speaker 1: in the hospital, like he had to shoot a music

975
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 1: video during her time he was shooting a music video. Well,

976
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:58,800
Speaker 1: I had to be being on the phone with me

977
00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 1: for me to be able to like be okay, wow. Yeah.

978
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 1: It was really bad. And then my panic attacks, and

979
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:08,400
Speaker 1: it got even worse from that because I thought that

980
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:10,759
Speaker 1: I guess I would never be the same again. Yeah,

981
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 1: or fear or you're possibly thinking, like.

982
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 2: Will I ever end up in it even though you

983
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 2: knew it was the drug, you don't know, you don't

984
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 2: really know, no, so you're like, what could possibly bring

985
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:24,360
Speaker 2: that on again?

986
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:30,200
Speaker 1: Exactly? So I was just too weak and girls so hard.

987
00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 1: Like I just remember one of the panic attacks that

988
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:34,960
Speaker 1: stand out the most. I was with my daughter and

989
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:37,239
Speaker 1: we were gonna go. I wanted to leave the house.

990
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:39,040
Speaker 1: I was like, I need to leave the house, but

991
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,000
Speaker 1: you know, I ran the risk of having a panic attack,

992
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:42,399
Speaker 1: but I was like, I just need to leave the house.

993
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:44,880
Speaker 1: So we went shopping. I took her to Madison Avenue

994
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:46,719
Speaker 1: and like, we went shopping. But when I got out

995
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:49,440
Speaker 1: of the train, I had to go inside this cafe

996
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 1: Dina and De Luca for a minute to collect myself

997
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:59,320
Speaker 1: because I was so dishoveled. Wow, And you know, my

998
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 1: daughter was just like Mommy, oh, what are we doing?

999
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 1: And I'm just like I just need a second. And

1000
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 1: it was just like wow, Like that was just that

1001
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:10,319
Speaker 1: was a really hard moment for sure.

1002
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:15,719
Speaker 2: And I can only imagine so now that we're so

1003
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 2: we're still in New York, when do you pivot? Because

1004
00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:21,399
Speaker 2: I see you in LA now, so I'm like, when

1005
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 2: do you pivot to LA and when, like, how do

1006
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 2: we get closer to wellness?

1007
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:30,680
Speaker 1: Okay, let's do it, which I love talking about as

1008
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:31,200
Speaker 1: of late.

1009
00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 2: So I think it was kind of just a backtrack.

1010
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:35,480
Speaker 2: It was very mature of you at the age of

1011
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:39,400
Speaker 2: like twenty one or twenty two to say like like

1012
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 2: forget the money, like you, it's to acknowledge your actual

1013
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 2: feelings inside. Yeah, I thought that was like a very

1014
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:48,399
Speaker 2: much that was mature for a twenty twenty one year old.

1015
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:50,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you. I looking back on it, Yeah, I

1016
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:52,840
Speaker 1: think I feel like that too. I think that was

1017
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:56,000
Speaker 1: very mature of me to take notice of that and

1018
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:57,960
Speaker 1: be like, I want to do something that comes from

1019
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 1: the heart, right, Yeah, it is very muchure. Yeah. But

1020
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:07,680
Speaker 1: I was dating so La. So. I was dating my

1021
00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:10,360
Speaker 1: ex who his name is Absol So a lot of

1022
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:14,359
Speaker 1: people know about him, but he's he was my ex.

1023
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:16,880
Speaker 1: We were dating for five for like five years at

1024
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 1: the time when I moved to La. So I moved

1025
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 1: to La with my daughter and we moved in together

1026
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:28,239
Speaker 1: like a little family. So you moved. That's how I

1027
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:32,080
Speaker 1: got to l A Okay, and then sorry, I'm like

1028
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:35,839
Speaker 1: blanking out a little bit with my story. I got

1029
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 1: to l A. Sorry. I'm like, you know what it

1030
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 1: is because we're really hungry today. Ready, let's check, Like

1031
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 1: my stomach is over here, like yo, feed me it is.

1032
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:59,640
Speaker 1: Thank god, I'm starving. Sorry, I like lost because they're hungry.

1033
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:04,160
Speaker 1: The food smells so good. It's so much to recount. Okay,

1034
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:07,920
Speaker 1: so I feel like this is done good? Do you

1035
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:11,480
Speaker 1: want to serve me first? Are you sure I got you? Okay?

1036
00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 1: So I come to LA and it was very hard

1037
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:18,440
Speaker 1: to adjust. Yeah, because La compared to New York.

1038
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:20,680
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I would write like little sad poems

1039
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:23,840
Speaker 2: every day when I it was it was like the

1040
00:56:23,960 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 2: eminem of just sad, depressing lacks compared to New York.

1041
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:29,960
Speaker 2: The food is terrible, the people are different.

1042
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 1: It was hard to adjust, but you know, it worked out.

1043
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:40,280
Speaker 1: But then I was having issues with my partner Max.

1044
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it was when you're going through issues with

1045
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:46,200
Speaker 2: your partner and your kid is involved, is that like

1046
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:47,200
Speaker 2: at extra pressure?

1047
00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:51,680
Speaker 1: I'm just randomly curious, genuinely curious. Yeah, because you you know,

1048
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:53,759
Speaker 1: you have you know your child is watching, so you

1049
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:55,920
Speaker 1: just want to make sure that you know you're setting

1050
00:56:55,920 --> 00:56:59,960
Speaker 1: an example for your kids. So it does add extra pressure.

1051
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 1: And you know, again, like we had a long distance

1052
00:57:03,760 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 1: relationship and I didn't really you don't really get to

1053
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:09,480
Speaker 1: know somebody very well until you're like living with them,

1054
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But he which he has

1055
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 1: spoken about, so I feel more comfortable talking about and

1056
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:19,720
Speaker 1: now because he's he already talked about it through his

1057
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 1: music and stuff, and he is still a really dear

1058
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:24,680
Speaker 1: friend of mine and I love him so much. But

1059
00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:28,880
Speaker 1: it was like a really hard period living with somebody

1060
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:32,760
Speaker 1: who was severely depressed and also was struggling with drug addiction.

1061
00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:36,440
Speaker 1: And at that point in my life, I went to

1062
00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:39,320
Speaker 1: therapy and I said, that was your first time going

1063
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:41,760
Speaker 1: to therapy? And I said, why do I keep attracting

1064
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 1: this in my life? Like? Why do I keep attracting

1065
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 1: people that that are broken? And it's because like I'm

1066
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:51,960
Speaker 1: also broken? Right? Is that what you learned in therapy?

1067
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 1: That is no reason? No, no, no, not that I'm broke,

1068
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:57,400
Speaker 1: not literally like you broken. No no, no, I'm really curious.

1069
00:57:57,480 --> 00:58:01,360
Speaker 1: I'm just not. No, But yeah, because I wonder that

1070
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:04,640
Speaker 1: same shit, I track the same exact rson because a

1071
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:08,120
Speaker 1: reflection of us. Yeah, everyone in our lives is a reflection.

1072
00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:13,840
Speaker 1: It's a mirror, so something inside of us. Right, So

1073
00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:17,920
Speaker 1: I'm like why so what it is like my savior complex?

1074
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:21,560
Speaker 1: Like I just want to save everybody and shit, okay,

1075
00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 1: but I don't. I don't take care of myself. I'm

1076
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:26,520
Speaker 1: doing that better now, but but I wasn't taking care

1077
00:58:26,520 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 1: of myself. You know what I'm saying. That was really

1078
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:33,360
Speaker 1: like the book of it. Yeah, that when Dali Mama

1079
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:39,480
Speaker 1: enters the picture, Dalli Mama enters the picture twenty twenty. Well,

1080
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 1: the nickname. I've had the nickname though since I was

1081
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:44,600
Speaker 1: like twenty one years old, and it was my ex

1082
00:58:44,640 --> 00:58:46,600
Speaker 1: who gave it to me because he came to my house.

1083
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 1: He saw the Buddha, he saw all my little wellness stuff,

1084
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:54,080
Speaker 1: he saw my quotes. He was like, like the Dali Lama.

1085
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you the Dali Mama. That's cute. And

1086
00:58:56,840 --> 00:58:59,720
Speaker 1: I was like, that's mad cute. And I was just like,

1087
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:04,960
Speaker 1: it's been stuck since. Okay, but twenty twenty, I'm going

1088
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 1: through a terrible breakup. You know, me and him end

1089
00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:08,920
Speaker 1: up breaking up. I have to get my own place,

1090
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,760
Speaker 1: and it's going into the pandemic breakup. That just sucks.

1091
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:15,800
Speaker 1: It sucked ended breaking up officially, because you know, the

1092
00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:19,240
Speaker 1: long term relationious be on and off, like breaking up

1093
00:59:19,320 --> 00:59:20,960
Speaker 1: during a pandemic. It's like, how are you gonna find

1094
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 1: somebody to replace the pandemic? No, you have to be alone,

1095
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:28,840
Speaker 1: do the work. Yeah on yourself. Did you do it? Yeah?

1096
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 1: I was alone for some time afterwards, but he ended

1097
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,320
Speaker 1: up like trying to commit suicide, so he had like

1098
00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:46,000
Speaker 1: thrown himself off of the freeway into the four or five.

1099
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:50,520
Speaker 1: And when all of that was taking place, this was

1100
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:52,760
Speaker 1: like after I literally the year after I moved out.

1101
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:56,560
Speaker 1: I was not that long after when that happened. Dolly

1102
00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:59,920
Speaker 1: Mama was just like, oh, like, this is my purpose,

1103
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:06,520
Speaker 1: Like I need to help people with my story and

1104
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:10,120
Speaker 1: be a testament of my story to let people know

1105
01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:13,360
Speaker 1: that you can make it through all of the adversities

1106
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 1: that life throws at you, and that you can stand

1107
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 1: on business despite whatever life throws at you and you

1108
01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:24,960
Speaker 1: cannot and you can make that shit look sexy. Yeah

1109
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:30,520
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So yeah, Then Dalli Mama

1110
01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:35,240
Speaker 1: came about, and this was actually, you know, I had

1111
01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:38,000
Speaker 1: a really good friend of mine named Ariel, and she

1112
01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:40,840
Speaker 1: was like, you know, like you are just such a

1113
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:44,000
Speaker 1: wellness person that I just feel like you need to

1114
01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:48,320
Speaker 1: do something with that. And originally Dalli Mama was going

1115
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:53,000
Speaker 1: to be called Dollai like pitbulls Dallai, I like Dali Mama. Yeah,

1116
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:55,439
Speaker 1: And then I was like what And then my friend

1117
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:58,240
Speaker 1: was like, why is that's your nickname. That's something everybody

1118
01:00:58,320 --> 01:00:59,400
Speaker 1: knows you as that, Like why are you going to

1119
01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:01,680
Speaker 1: shut up? And like, yeah, that's stupid. Let me not

1120
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:05,800
Speaker 1: do that. So there's a couple of questions I have. Well,

1121
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:08,120
Speaker 1: let's take a bite of the food, because I have

1122
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:10,800
Speaker 1: to say good, because you know, when you cook with

1123
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 1: other pots and ship I'm starving. I think it can be.

1124
01:01:17,200 --> 01:01:23,200
Speaker 1: It's good. It's good, and there's more. All that matters.

1125
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna be a lot more saucier.

1126
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:32,560
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. There's the rice absorbed it. Now I'm curious.

1127
01:01:32,600 --> 01:01:35,160
Speaker 1: I keep bringing up the sauce. Do you ever add

1128
01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:37,080
Speaker 1: some of the sauce to rice? If it seems like

1129
01:01:37,720 --> 01:01:41,240
Speaker 1: because I low ke you want to? I feel like

1130
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:49,480
Speaker 1: it's raw garlic and raw peppers and stuff saucy. Can

1131
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:51,360
Speaker 1: I try it? I just want to try it. She's like,

1132
01:01:51,440 --> 01:01:54,920
Speaker 1: but it's saucy. I like it. But I feel like

1133
01:01:56,640 --> 01:01:59,920
Speaker 1: I'm one of those people that like gooey and messy food. Yeah,

1134
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:03,920
Speaker 1: do you like do you like that all fattening? So messy?

1135
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:06,440
Speaker 1: This would be good with some beans. The beans were

1136
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 1: at the sauce. Yeah, I think the beans were at

1137
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:13,480
Speaker 1: the sauce. Yeah, you know, what or sides out the beans.

1138
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:17,600
Speaker 1: But this feeds a lot of people, and it's so cheap,

1139
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:20,040
Speaker 1: and you have car and proteain. I want to see

1140
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:22,080
Speaker 1: what happens if I mix it with this sauce though,

1141
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:24,520
Speaker 1: I just I don't know. I'm obsessed with this. Have

1142
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:27,480
Speaker 1: you ever tried that? I mean, yeah, have you ever

1143
01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:29,920
Speaker 1: done it on top of the rice? After? Okay, I'm

1144
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:34,680
Speaker 1: gonna change your life. But you can't take that that.

1145
01:02:35,200 --> 01:02:37,760
Speaker 1: You can not take that sauce with you. Okay, I

1146
01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:41,040
Speaker 1: promise you you're gonna be doing this after this. It

1147
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 1: is delicious with it as okay? Right? Yeah? Are you

1148
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:53,800
Speaker 1: just saying that? I'm not? I mean, I made the ship,

1149
01:02:53,880 --> 01:02:57,920
Speaker 1: but but you had admit right it's good? Yeah, because

1150
01:02:57,960 --> 01:03:00,200
Speaker 1: I just grew up thinking that that's bad my mom like,

1151
01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:03,640
Speaker 1: don't eat it like that, like love it. I hope

1152
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:07,320
Speaker 1: nobody who your mom is going to be like what, No,

1153
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:10,240
Speaker 1: I love this and it's not it's it's actually it's

1154
01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:12,240
Speaker 1: just peppers and onions and stuff. So I don't see

1155
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:15,080
Speaker 1: why not. It's taste, cellar. I just love it on

1156
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:18,120
Speaker 1: the rice too. Are you saying it? Are you just no?

1157
01:03:18,240 --> 01:03:19,920
Speaker 1: I'm not as like, would you ever do this. If

1158
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:21,720
Speaker 1: your mom was around, you know what I would do.

1159
01:03:21,960 --> 01:03:25,000
Speaker 1: I would add a chili pepper to make a spicy

1160
01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:29,720
Speaker 1: because your Jamaican. You like spice. I like your Scotch bonnet.

1161
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:34,240
Speaker 1: You like Scotch bonnet, pepper. Bay. I want to touch

1162
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:37,640
Speaker 1: on two things before we can close out. Okay.

1163
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:43,280
Speaker 2: One, Whenever people say holistic in wellness, I'm like, what

1164
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:45,640
Speaker 2: does that mean? We're eating carrots, Like, what does that mean?

1165
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:51,480
Speaker 1: Holistic? Because I saw that you, that's you, That's a

1166
01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:56,440
Speaker 1: part of your wellness. Right. Holistic means like overall comprehensive,

1167
01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:02,439
Speaker 1: that doesn't just encompass like actual health like organ health

1168
01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:06,400
Speaker 1: or something like that. Like it's literally your lifestyle, it's

1169
01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:13,320
Speaker 1: your diet, your mental it's an overall approach to health. Holistic, whole,

1170
01:04:14,160 --> 01:04:18,040
Speaker 1: a whole complete. And then if someone like, how does

1171
01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:21,320
Speaker 1: someone join Dolly Mama or how does it work? Okay,

1172
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:26,240
Speaker 1: So Dolly Mama is still very much a baby. Dolly

1173
01:04:26,320 --> 01:04:29,840
Speaker 1: Mama is like two to three years old, and right

1174
01:04:29,960 --> 01:04:32,880
Speaker 1: now we are doing events. You can find us on

1175
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:37,360
Speaker 1: Instagram right now and we do events. I did a

1176
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:42,479
Speaker 1: retreat in Costa Rica. I'm glad you like it. Sorry,

1177
01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:46,000
Speaker 1: we did a retreat in Costa Rica. We have Bali

1178
01:04:46,120 --> 01:04:50,680
Speaker 1: next year. And what I'm really doing is building more

1179
01:04:50,760 --> 01:04:53,920
Speaker 1: than anything. I have a product line coming out and

1180
01:04:54,400 --> 01:04:58,880
Speaker 1: all that stuff launching in like six seven months, along

1181
01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:03,400
Speaker 1: with website and every thing. But more importantly for me,

1182
01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:08,960
Speaker 1: I want to create a real genuine community. I don't

1183
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:10,720
Speaker 1: like that and I and I want to take my

1184
01:05:10,840 --> 01:05:13,400
Speaker 1: time with that. And that's why I do these meetups

1185
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,520
Speaker 1: and these hangouts with people. I do a lot of

1186
01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:18,720
Speaker 1: community work and things like that. It's because I really

1187
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:21,840
Speaker 1: want something I didn't have, which was like community and

1188
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:25,240
Speaker 1: people talking the way that meaning you are talking on

1189
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:28,800
Speaker 1: the regular and and we're doing we're having like minded

1190
01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:32,840
Speaker 1: conversations for elevation, for growth and things like that. That's

1191
01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:36,400
Speaker 1: where you go for that to learn. Dalli Mamas is

1192
01:05:36,440 --> 01:05:41,000
Speaker 1: a hub for everything to learn, to educate yourself and

1193
01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:43,800
Speaker 1: all of that to grow and build a support to

1194
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:48,120
Speaker 1: build a support system. And how many trips have you

1195
01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:52,200
Speaker 1: done so far with Dolly? This year is my first?

1196
01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:54,520
Speaker 1: This year was my first one in Costa Rica. And

1197
01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:57,520
Speaker 1: then what happened on the trip, like what can people expect?

1198
01:05:58,200 --> 01:06:01,880
Speaker 1: So on the trip, the truck was beautiful, We did

1199
01:06:02,040 --> 01:06:04,640
Speaker 1: a lot of excursions. So we went to like a waterfall.

1200
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:10,160
Speaker 1: We learned about cacao and the indigenous people. We like

1201
01:06:10,440 --> 01:06:15,480
Speaker 1: hands on, like made chocolate from scratch and it was good.

1202
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:20,600
Speaker 1: Did you did you do good chocolate? Joe, chocolate come out.

1203
01:06:20,640 --> 01:06:23,480
Speaker 1: That's so funny. Did you do good chocolate? Yeah? It

1204
01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:25,919
Speaker 1: was good. Teach me how to make chocolate. My life

1205
01:06:25,920 --> 01:06:29,360
Speaker 1: will be complete. I'll be on you talk about at it.

1206
01:06:30,360 --> 01:06:33,800
Speaker 1: I learned how to make chocolate, it's gonna be a problem. Yeah.

1207
01:06:34,440 --> 01:06:37,400
Speaker 1: So we learned how to do all that. We went

1208
01:06:37,480 --> 01:06:40,840
Speaker 1: to the rainforest, We learned about the animals, the plants.

1209
01:06:41,560 --> 01:06:44,920
Speaker 1: We did a lot of healing work with ourselves. Just

1210
01:06:44,960 --> 01:06:47,560
Speaker 1: like things that I tools that I've learned that have

1211
01:06:47,720 --> 01:06:50,840
Speaker 1: helped me overcome my issues and my hurdles in life

1212
01:06:51,280 --> 01:06:55,520
Speaker 1: are the tools that I'm just like teaching people, like journaling, meditating,

1213
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:57,560
Speaker 1: like all that stuff I had to learn so that

1214
01:06:57,720 --> 01:07:02,120
Speaker 1: I can keep it right. You know, So journaling, you

1215
01:07:02,240 --> 01:07:04,560
Speaker 1: do feel like really does help with wellness. I know

1216
01:07:04,640 --> 01:07:07,000
Speaker 1: people talk about it, but do you really feel like

1217
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:10,720
Speaker 1: it really? Yeah, it does help, Like putting your thoughts

1218
01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:15,600
Speaker 1: on paper and your feelings on paper instead of having

1219
01:07:15,680 --> 01:07:18,080
Speaker 1: them in your mind and like bottling it all in.

1220
01:07:18,280 --> 01:07:20,240
Speaker 1: It really helps. And it also helps like when you

1221
01:07:20,320 --> 01:07:23,080
Speaker 1: look back at your journal entries and seeing how far

1222
01:07:23,160 --> 01:07:25,640
Speaker 1: you've come. I have like three journals from like so

1223
01:07:25,760 --> 01:07:29,040
Speaker 1: many years, and I always I love from time to

1224
01:07:29,120 --> 01:07:31,720
Speaker 1: time going back to where I was and twanty you

1225
01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:36,560
Speaker 1: were like, thank god that girl, if only would have known. Yeah,

1226
01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:39,640
Speaker 1: then I start getting real lately. My journal entries are

1227
01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:44,240
Speaker 1: real descriptive. But do you do like just random do

1228
01:07:44,360 --> 01:07:49,280
Speaker 1: you ever do like letters to your younger self? I

1229
01:07:49,360 --> 01:07:52,280
Speaker 1: feel like I have done that before as a as

1230
01:07:52,320 --> 01:07:57,800
Speaker 1: an exercise. Yeah, yeah, I feel like helper. I mean

1231
01:07:57,840 --> 01:08:00,560
Speaker 1: I feel like what those things help us with perspective,

1232
01:08:00,760 --> 01:08:03,960
Speaker 1: like giving you a different perspective and how you view

1233
01:08:04,920 --> 01:08:06,800
Speaker 1: things in life, how you view the things that happen

1234
01:08:06,880 --> 01:08:10,080
Speaker 1: to you in life, or how to become empowered from

1235
01:08:10,480 --> 01:08:12,600
Speaker 1: those things that have happened to us in life. And

1236
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:15,240
Speaker 1: that's one of the main things for me, is like

1237
01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:20,280
Speaker 1: a prevalent theme is empowerment throughout throughout and that's something

1238
01:08:20,360 --> 01:08:23,960
Speaker 1: I want everybody to feel, is empowered throughout life and

1239
01:08:24,479 --> 01:08:28,160
Speaker 1: no matter what obstacles are thrown at you. And it's

1240
01:08:28,200 --> 01:08:31,600
Speaker 1: not just journaling, and it's more than that. It's you know,

1241
01:08:31,680 --> 01:08:33,280
Speaker 1: it's like when we were on the retreat, it's like

1242
01:08:33,320 --> 01:08:35,519
Speaker 1: we were together for a week and like, you know,

1243
01:08:35,640 --> 01:08:38,559
Speaker 1: we did some exercises, some meditations and some some things

1244
01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:43,200
Speaker 1: that change their perspective on the way they view the

1245
01:08:43,280 --> 01:08:45,280
Speaker 1: world and things like that. Like that's why you come

1246
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:48,240
Speaker 1: on those trips for like life changing aha moments that

1247
01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:50,240
Speaker 1: you're like, oh my god, and then you go home

1248
01:08:50,320 --> 01:08:53,880
Speaker 1: and apply it. You know. Do you ever do you

1249
01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:56,599
Speaker 1: do on the on the trips? Do you take away

1250
01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:59,840
Speaker 1: phones and stuff? No? I don't. You know, I don't

1251
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:04,000
Speaker 1: all your exes, don't search on Instagram? You know that's

1252
01:09:04,080 --> 01:09:06,920
Speaker 1: funny as hell. No, it's all actually because I'm like,

1253
01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:12,720
Speaker 1: it's not like a like the whole time, it's like

1254
01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:16,840
Speaker 1: we're here, we're shaking us, We're doing it is a

1255
01:09:16,880 --> 01:09:19,880
Speaker 1: fun trip. It's like we're it's like a girl's trip.

1256
01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:22,160
Speaker 1: Wix well in the trip and do guys are guys

1257
01:09:22,240 --> 01:09:25,120
Speaker 1: allowed to go? Well? Because it's called Dolly Mama? No,

1258
01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:28,080
Speaker 1: I know, it's just like right now, I just like

1259
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:32,120
Speaker 1: I feel like women feel more comfortable with women, but

1260
01:09:32,280 --> 01:09:35,439
Speaker 1: I would like to for the men. The men need this.

1261
01:09:35,760 --> 01:09:37,880
Speaker 2: You have like a Dolly Papa and a Dolly Mama,

1262
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:48,560
Speaker 2: Dolly kids right now, my kids certainly. Okay, it was

1263
01:09:48,680 --> 01:09:52,200
Speaker 2: such a pleasure to eat this food with you and Julie.

1264
01:09:52,320 --> 01:09:53,880
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you left more in the pot.

1265
01:09:54,280 --> 01:09:54,600
Speaker 1: You know what.

1266
01:09:55,120 --> 01:09:58,720
Speaker 2: I'm realizing as you say why your mom said not

1267
01:09:58,840 --> 01:10:01,040
Speaker 2: to because when you were discrib I'm in the all

1268
01:10:01,040 --> 01:10:01,880
Speaker 2: the ingredients in here.

1269
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:03,800
Speaker 1: Like I took a big bite of it, and I

1270
01:10:03,920 --> 01:10:05,160
Speaker 1: was like, oh, now I.

1271
01:10:05,160 --> 01:10:09,080
Speaker 2: Get why you don't do because now you're yeah when

1272
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:12,000
Speaker 2: I say yeah, when I say like, I mean, I

1273
01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:15,200
Speaker 2: don't kiss anybody anyways, but my goodness, like I was

1274
01:10:15,640 --> 01:10:18,160
Speaker 2: doing so much in a sauce, and then I took.

1275
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:20,120
Speaker 1: A big tongue and I said, oh, there's a reason

1276
01:10:20,160 --> 01:10:24,360
Speaker 1: why they don't. They don't because that's literally just raw.

1277
01:10:24,920 --> 01:10:27,479
Speaker 1: And you kept saying it too, and I was like this.

1278
01:10:29,720 --> 01:10:31,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, girl, this is how you do it.

1279
01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:35,879
Speaker 1: You're like, okay, you do know that it's like garlic

1280
01:10:36,120 --> 01:10:38,800
Speaker 1: and vegetables chopped up. I was like, yeah, now my

1281
01:10:38,920 --> 01:10:43,719
Speaker 1: mouth is just covered in garlic and onion. It's raw.

1282
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:47,720
Speaker 1: Just eat it when you guys, get eat it exactly

1283
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:50,360
Speaker 1: the way she told you to eat it. Yeah, you

1284
01:10:50,439 --> 01:10:52,680
Speaker 1: gotta listen at me. You gotta cook it, cook it

1285
01:10:52,760 --> 01:10:58,840
Speaker 1: a little bit. Yeah, very valuable lesson learned trying to

1286
01:10:58,920 --> 01:11:02,040
Speaker 1: chef the chef. And I will say this, I coun

1287
01:11:02,080 --> 01:11:05,519
Speaker 1: tage the orange and a lemon. You can, yeah, nice,

1288
01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:09,840
Speaker 1: I can taste a little bit. How can people keep

1289
01:11:09,920 --> 01:11:11,800
Speaker 1: up with you? Sorry, I got a full mouth and

1290
01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:17,080
Speaker 1: I'm talking people can keep up on I'm mostly on

1291
01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:24,080
Speaker 1: Instagram these days and TikTok, but Yaris Underscore Sanchez and

1292
01:11:25,479 --> 01:11:30,439
Speaker 1: Dolli Mama World, Dolly Mama World on Instagram. And now

1293
01:11:30,560 --> 01:11:33,320
Speaker 1: that's one hundred percent of your focus. Now, Yeah, building

1294
01:11:33,439 --> 01:11:39,640
Speaker 1: the community, and but be on the lookout for products.

1295
01:11:39,840 --> 01:11:42,280
Speaker 1: Product line, hair, product line. I hope it's for like

1296
01:11:42,400 --> 01:11:44,960
Speaker 1: curly hair. It is for curly hair, for sure.

1297
01:11:45,200 --> 01:11:48,439
Speaker 2: I always feel like curly hair, no matter like how

1298
01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:51,080
Speaker 2: many brands you're loyal to. Someone told me this recently,

1299
01:11:51,120 --> 01:11:52,720
Speaker 2: you just got to switch it up because once you're

1300
01:11:53,320 --> 01:11:56,439
Speaker 2: curly hair conquers a brand and it stops working for you,

1301
01:11:56,479 --> 01:11:58,560
Speaker 2: you gotta be like, I know, I'm a diehard of

1302
01:11:58,640 --> 01:12:00,320
Speaker 2: this fit in this brand, but you have to go

1303
01:12:00,360 --> 01:12:03,519
Speaker 2: out there and try a new brand because like if

1304
01:12:03,560 --> 01:12:05,760
Speaker 2: you don't, because like I started noticing.

1305
01:12:05,520 --> 01:12:07,320
Speaker 1: Some of my curls was like, if you I've been

1306
01:12:07,360 --> 01:12:09,160
Speaker 1: doing this for ten years, give rid of that shit.

1307
01:12:10,600 --> 01:12:13,320
Speaker 1: We're in twenty twenty four you still in twenty fourteen,

1308
01:12:13,479 --> 01:12:15,760
Speaker 1: you still using horse and made it? Oh my god,

1309
01:12:15,760 --> 01:12:18,320
Speaker 1: man and tail. Let me tell you something. My little

1310
01:12:18,360 --> 01:12:20,560
Speaker 1: brother he had long hair, and I would go to

1311
01:12:20,680 --> 01:12:22,600
Speaker 1: his house and he had horse made and tail, and

1312
01:12:22,720 --> 01:12:24,400
Speaker 1: I would be like, how the fuck do you even

1313
01:12:24,479 --> 01:12:27,000
Speaker 1: call me? You're here with that? That ship was terrible,

1314
01:12:27,680 --> 01:12:29,400
Speaker 1: Like I feel like my hair knotted up even more,

1315
01:12:29,479 --> 01:12:32,840
Speaker 1: and like that shit was terrible, terrible. I was like, bro,

1316
01:12:33,320 --> 01:12:35,960
Speaker 1: But no, I just recently started switching it up because

1317
01:12:35,960 --> 01:12:38,720
Speaker 1: I noticed that my curls, especially in the front, they

1318
01:12:38,800 --> 01:12:42,760
Speaker 1: go limp. Really, I have fine hair, but they go limp.

1319
01:12:42,840 --> 01:12:45,559
Speaker 2: But if I do switch up the different curling products,

1320
01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:49,200
Speaker 2: like find a different conditioner, my curls will actually come back.

1321
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:50,720
Speaker 2: I used to think I'd have to cut it off

1322
01:12:50,840 --> 01:12:53,800
Speaker 2: or whatever, but no, it's definitely like, you gotta switch

1323
01:12:53,880 --> 01:12:55,960
Speaker 2: up your product, so we'll be looking out for your products.

1324
01:12:56,040 --> 01:12:58,000
Speaker 1: Cool. Thanks. Yeah, I put a lot of love into

1325
01:12:58,080 --> 01:13:01,519
Speaker 1: everything I do, and I don't support shit that it's

1326
01:13:01,640 --> 01:13:05,519
Speaker 1: not like legit. So just know that whatever it is

1327
01:13:05,600 --> 01:13:09,160
Speaker 1: that you're supporting from Daly, Mamma is coming from a

1328
01:13:09,320 --> 01:13:10,680
Speaker 1: really true place, you know.

1329
01:13:11,479 --> 01:13:14,280
Speaker 2: And I've gone on your page and I will say

1330
01:13:14,320 --> 01:13:16,439
Speaker 2: it was like a peaceful it looks like you have

1331
01:13:16,600 --> 01:13:20,720
Speaker 2: a good self care routine and so peaceful.

1332
01:13:20,360 --> 01:13:20,760
Speaker 1: And all that.

1333
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:25,400
Speaker 2: So I was like, Okay, definitely still in that you know,

1334
01:13:25,640 --> 01:13:28,640
Speaker 2: self love, self care thing. I'm slowly getting into that,

1335
01:13:28,840 --> 01:13:29,400
Speaker 2: even though I'm like.

1336
01:13:30,640 --> 01:13:34,519
Speaker 1: It's a journey, like we're as we're growing and involved

1337
01:13:34,560 --> 01:13:39,000
Speaker 1: in becoming different people, we have to then relearn or

1338
01:13:39,280 --> 01:13:41,719
Speaker 1: teach ourselves new ways for this new person we're becoming.

1339
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:44,800
Speaker 1: Or is it like right now I feel like I

1340
01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:46,840
Speaker 1: have to rise up to the occasion, Like right now

1341
01:13:47,120 --> 01:13:49,640
Speaker 1: in my life where I'm at, God is asking of

1342
01:13:49,760 --> 01:13:54,120
Speaker 1: me to to to rise to the occasion, to stand

1343
01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:57,479
Speaker 1: in my power fully you know, and really and and

1344
01:13:58,479 --> 01:14:01,160
Speaker 1: and it's gonna take a lot. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna

1345
01:14:01,160 --> 01:14:04,320
Speaker 1: take a lot. But I'm one of his souldiers.

1346
01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:07,320
Speaker 2: Well you stand on your business, yes, So I know

1347
01:14:07,439 --> 01:14:10,160
Speaker 2: it's gonna happen. And I look forward to hopefully one

1348
01:14:10,240 --> 01:14:13,599
Speaker 2: day join in the retreat when my daughter's like at

1349
01:14:13,720 --> 01:14:16,519
Speaker 2: least five. Because obviously you don't want to be a

1350
01:14:16,600 --> 01:14:19,240
Speaker 2: mom on a retreat. It ain't gonna be a retreat

1351
01:14:19,320 --> 01:14:20,360
Speaker 2: as if your kids.

1352
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:23,120
Speaker 1: Show up with you. No, you don't, you don't. But

1353
01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:26,320
Speaker 1: the retreats are fun, like the girls, they had so

1354
01:14:26,479 --> 01:14:29,560
Speaker 1: much fun, Like we went on so many adventures and

1355
01:14:30,040 --> 01:14:32,519
Speaker 1: we went out and the night time. Like it's overall

1356
01:14:33,960 --> 01:14:37,040
Speaker 1: having a balanced life. It's not just like being vegan

1357
01:14:37,120 --> 01:14:39,840
Speaker 1: and then everything, all your problems go away. Yeah no,

1358
01:14:40,120 --> 01:14:42,200
Speaker 1: like you can still do the things that you love

1359
01:14:42,560 --> 01:14:45,960
Speaker 1: in moderation. Yeah, still live in health and still heal

1360
01:14:46,120 --> 01:14:49,519
Speaker 1: and have fun, still do the work on yourself and

1361
01:14:49,920 --> 01:14:53,800
Speaker 1: try to erase the trauma, breaking generational cycles and all this,

1362
01:14:53,920 --> 01:14:56,880
Speaker 1: that and the third while also having fun. I gotta

1363
01:14:56,920 --> 01:14:58,240
Speaker 1: be so serious all the time.

1364
01:14:58,720 --> 01:15:00,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, you heard it here first. You ain't gotta be

1365
01:15:00,680 --> 01:15:04,680
Speaker 2: so serious, but stand on your business. Thank you so

1366
01:15:04,840 --> 01:15:06,080
Speaker 2: much for your time and feeding me.

1367
01:15:06,320 --> 01:15:09,760
Speaker 1: On another episode of Eating Broke. Peace y'all,