WEBVTT - What is the Space Between Life & Death? 0:00:05.120 --> 0:00:08.119 Hellow Hi, I'm speaking on top of a microphone. 0:00:08.320 --> 0:00:13.000 Oh my god, at least something works today. Yes, hey, oh, 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:14.880 I wish you could see how he has positions in 0:00:14.880 --> 0:00:15.480 the microphone. 0:00:15.840 --> 0:00:17.960 Oh, there it goes, has happened? 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:18.640 Limp again? 0:00:19.079 --> 0:00:19.440 What's up? 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:21.599 Its sauce on the side. I am here with my 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:23.000 boy Andrew. What's up? Yo? 0:00:23.200 --> 0:00:24.200 What's up? Gandhi? 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:28.720 Oh God? And Diamond? Hey, Diamond, Hey, so we're having 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:31.400 technical issues across the board here today. 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:32.199 How come I got it. 0:00:34.920 --> 0:00:37.000 Because I said, we're here with my guy Andrew, and 0:00:37.040 --> 0:00:38.320 you were like, Yo, what's up? 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:39.879 Well you said it to me like that? 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:40.920 Did I say it like that? 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:41.320 Diamond? 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:46.080 Okay, thank you, very authentic coming from you. Gandhi. 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:51.600 Oh okay, Well you know what she's saying. It's heard, heard, chill. 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:57.800 So anyway, everything is fucking up here today. It is 0:00:57.960 --> 0:01:00.440 as I'm recording this, and obviously not that he hear it, 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:04.760 because we have some stuff that actually was recorded on Friday. 0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:09.319 What was that the sixth? Yeah, Friday the sixth, And 0:01:09.360 --> 0:01:11.640 I think it's pretty interesting. We're gonna we played I 0:01:11.640 --> 0:01:13.520 believe by this point we would have played a part 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:16.400 of it on the show, but Halsey was here on Friday, 0:01:16.520 --> 0:01:18.360 and I talked to her for a while about her 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:21.160 album and some health issues and some stuff with Britney Spears, 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:24.679 and I'm interested to share that with everybody because I 0:01:24.680 --> 0:01:26.040 know we're not gonna play the entire thing on the air. 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:28.240 We're just gonna play a little piece. Diamond was in 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:31.520 for the interview. Diamond, did you think there was a 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:33.720 specific part that we should have played on the air? 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:37.840 I liked when you guys were I didn't like this. 0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:39.080 I don't want to sound I don't want it to 0:01:39.120 --> 0:01:42.240 sound like I was happy about this. But the conversation 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:44.880 that the two of you had about your health issues 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:48.120 and you know, it was very like nice to see. 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:50.920 I think that she felt seen and I could tell 0:01:50.920 --> 0:01:51.960 that you felt seen. 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:53.400 So it's really nice. 0:01:53.840 --> 0:01:56.840 Aw that's nice. Okay, Well, I say we just get 0:01:56.840 --> 0:01:58.920 to the interview real quick and then we can have 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:00.920 all our like fuckery on the other side of it. Cool. 0:02:01.440 --> 0:02:04.200 Cool, Yeah you heard Yeah. 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:11.880 My god man, Okay, I am here with Halsey. Halsey. Yeah, 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:13.520 I'm so glad that you're here. We haven't seen you 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:16.280 in years, I know, and now you are here, and 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:19.320 there's so much to talk about where to begin. Let's 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:23.720 start with your album, dropping October twenty fifth, The Great Impersonator. 0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:25.640 What is this? What does this mean to you? 0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:29.120 Oh my gosh, Well, it's my fifth album, which is crazy. 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:30.560 I can't believe I have five. 0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:32.720 Of anything, you know what I mean, Like, it's just 0:02:32.840 --> 0:02:36.200 it's it's always so like crazy when I start doing 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:38.320 the math and adding it up. This summer is ten 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:40.520 years since I put out my first album, bad Lands, 0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:43.520 and so it's like cool to have this album, you know, 0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:47.560 coming in like the year leading up to it, because 0:02:47.600 --> 0:02:51.000 I feel like this record is so tied. 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:52.000 To bad Lands in a way. 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:55.280 This album feels like I'm getting to do a debut 0:02:55.320 --> 0:02:58.600 record again. I've just been through so much as a 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:00.840 person in the past couple of years and I feel 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:04.160 really different, and so making this album felt like this 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:06.239 version of me was getting to put out her. 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:07.640 Debut, if that makes any sense. 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:09.040 So I feel like it's just like, you know, there's 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:11.480 like some poetic justice in there that's amazing. 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:11.639 Though. 0:03:11.639 --> 0:03:14.560 We love evolution, like seeing people grow, and when you 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:17.200 say it ties back so much to bad Lands in 0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:17.799 which way. 0:03:17.960 --> 0:03:19.600 In a lot of ways, I feel like I wrote 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:22.280 it with the same mentality as when I made bad Lands. 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:24.440 You know, when I was making my first record, the 0:03:24.480 --> 0:03:27.240 only thing that I thought about was I wanted my friends. 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:28.440 To think that the music was cool. 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:31.480 You know, so in ego, actually, I say, you know, 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:33.040 I want to go back to the beginning when it 0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:33.720 all felt right. 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:35.440 A rooftop Lower east Side. 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:38.640 I'm singing, and I that's actually a real memory of mine, 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:40.920 as I remember being on the friend's rooftop on like 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:44.280 Orchard Street, like I think, like in this apartment above 0:03:44.280 --> 0:03:47.720 Hair the Dog, like just sitting on this rooftop and 0:03:47.800 --> 0:03:50.720 I was playing people demos from my EP off of 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:52.800 my phone, just like in the middle of the table, 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:55.560 and everyone was just like this is so cool, like 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:57.120 this is so dope. And I was like, that's the 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:59.600 only feeling I'll ever need ever again, is like my 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:03.120 friend and my peers like loving what I'm making and 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:06.120 connecting with it. And then you know, my career changed, 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:08.760 and everything changed, and by the time I put out 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:12.040 my second album or my third, it wasn't just about 0:04:12.240 --> 0:04:15.680 what my friends thought or like connecting with the people 0:04:15.760 --> 0:04:16.440 closest to me. 0:04:16.760 --> 0:04:17.640 You know, there's this. 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:21.680 Global community and then there's a lot of other things too. 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:24.080 You know, there's being here, there's the radio, there's like 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:24.800 you know. 0:04:24.800 --> 0:04:25.640 Ticket sales. 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:28.800 Like the pressure grows and it's like you start thinking 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:33.640 a lot about the way people are receiving you, and it. 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:35.040 Changes the way you make music. 0:04:35.600 --> 0:04:38.279 When I made The Great Impersonator, I felt like I 0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:40.640 reverted to that frame of mind where I. 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:42.440 Was just like, I just want my friends to think 0:04:42.440 --> 0:04:43.120 this is cool. 0:04:43.320 --> 0:04:46.200 So it's like a full not necessarily full circle, but 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:48.320 you've grown so much because you started out I just 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:49.560 want my friends to think this is cool. 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:49.880 Yeah. 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:53.640 Then over ten years, your priorities changed, and now you're 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:55.120 back to I just want my friends to think. 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:57.520 This is cool. Yeah, I think it's cool. I think 0:04:57.560 --> 0:04:59.279 so yeah, yeah yeah. 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:02.039 I mean I've kept this one so lock and key. 0:05:02.440 --> 0:05:06.040 I'm usually like, you know, blasting people in my phone, 0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:07.479 like check out this demo, check out this demo. 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:08.120 And this one I was. 0:05:08.120 --> 0:05:10.520 Like, I played really close to the chest, and you know, 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:13.240 obviously because there was a lot of personal content on 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:16.120 it and before I started, you know, coming out online 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:17.880 and talking about what my life has looked like the 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:22.039 past couple of years, the songs were just so like 0:05:22.480 --> 0:05:25.280 revealing that I really kept them close, you know, and 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:26.080 now I'm getting. 0:05:25.800 --> 0:05:27.920 A little looser about like who's getting to hear it. 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:30.479 But all of my closest friends, you know, we would 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:33.120 hang out at the house and like sit in my 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:35.200 living room, and every time I got like an updated 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:36.560 version of the album, we would. 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:37.920 Just sit and like listen through to it. 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:41.400 And everyone close to me, my friends and family, has 0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:45.080 said that this is their favorite album of mine yet. 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:46.320 But they say that every. 0:05:46.080 --> 0:05:50.560 Time they see they do find somebody. Trust you're not biased. 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:52.520 So when you pick the people that you're like, you 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:53.880 know what, this is who I want to share my 0:05:54.000 --> 0:05:56.440 music with before anyone else. How do you choose? 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:59.920 Well, I think the first people that hear it are 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:04.440 my two little brothers. Yeah, Savian's twenty six, Dante is nineteen. 0:06:04.839 --> 0:06:07.560 So it's nice because I kind of get like, you know, 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:11.400 I'm technically a millennial. I'm twenty nine, but like I'm 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:13.360 kind of on the cusp of gen Z, but I'm 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:16.440 not gen Z enough, you know, Like my brother Savian 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:19.960 is very gen Z. And then my youngest brother, Dante, 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:22.280 you know, he's nineteen, and so I kind of get 0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:25.279 to get this. 0:06:23.960 --> 0:06:28.040 This incredible like focus group, you know, and they're. 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:30.520 Boys, you know, so they they're kind of too cool 0:06:30.560 --> 0:06:34.239 for everything. So when they really like something, I'm like, okay, 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:35.320 I've I've nailed it. 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:37.320 Mine would definitely be my sister if I was gonna 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:39.239 show anyone, because I think that of all the people, 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:40.600 your siblings will shred you. 0:06:40.800 --> 0:06:41.960 For sure if they want to. 0:06:42.279 --> 0:06:42.440 Yeah. 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:44.039 Yeah, And they'll also let you know like, no, this 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:44.839 is actually really dope. 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:45.640 I love that totally. 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:47.400 And when you get that from a sibling, oh yeah, 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:50.320 I love it, you're like nothing else matters you really. 0:06:50.360 --> 0:06:51.840 They sort of live every now and then to just 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:53.320 chop you totally read Denise. 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:53.680 Oh yeah. 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:55.040 I tease my brother all the time when I was 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:56.760 growing up, Like, you know, I'd be playing guitar and 0:06:56.760 --> 0:06:59.960 singing in my bedroom and he'd be like, you suw 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:02.400 at my concerts, like singing every word, and I'm like. 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:04.719 Yeah, front row, I'm probably using that to like flex 0:07:04.760 --> 0:07:06.200 on people like do you know who my sister is? 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:07.640 Oh my gosh, you know what's funny? 0:07:07.720 --> 0:07:09.560 Is like you would think that, But I feel like 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:11.640 the both of them are so just like over it 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:14.040 at this point where they're just like we don't care, 0:07:14.400 --> 0:07:16.480 Like you know what I mean, I'm like I was 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:19.040 like when my brother Dante was in high school, you know, 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:20.720 because he's nineteen, so he was in high school two 0:07:20.760 --> 0:07:22.560 years ago, and I always be like. 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:25.440 Do people think it's like cool myttle sister? And He's like, 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:27.239 I don't tell anybody that, and I'm. 0:07:27.040 --> 0:07:28.640 Like, Okay, what in the hell? 0:07:28.760 --> 0:07:30.560 I know, like when might I be cool enough for you? 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:31.880 And then we'll like, you know, we'll go to a 0:07:31.920 --> 0:07:34.560 concert and he'll meet like Dominic Fike or something like that, 0:07:34.640 --> 0:07:38.560 and he's like sick, and I'm like, hey, I'm cool too, 0:07:38.680 --> 0:07:40.560 you know, like do they go to the same high 0:07:40.560 --> 0:07:41.200 school you went to? 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:42.160 No? 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:44.240 No, I grew up in Jersey, Okay, my brothers are 0:07:44.320 --> 0:07:47.680 in California now, yeah, I'm in Jersey girl, So yeah. 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:48.800 We do love that you're a Jersey girl. 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:49.120 I know. 0:07:49.200 --> 0:07:51.160 I feel like anytime somebody mentions Halsey, like do you 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:53.280 know she's from Jersey's down the street? Like I do 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:55.640 know that. Everybody has told me that. So one of 0:07:55.640 --> 0:07:57.360 the things that you've said about this album that I 0:07:57.440 --> 0:08:01.320 find fascinating, you wrote this well in the space between 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:04.200 life and death. Yeah, yeah, do you want to talk 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:05.080 about that space? 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:05.800 Yeah? Sure? 0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:08.960 I mean I think, you know, I wasn't really sure 0:08:09.000 --> 0:08:10.840 what I was going to write my fifth album about. 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:11.160 You know. 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:12.960 I wrote if I Can of Love, I Want Power, 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:15.600 really about what my experience was like while I was pregnant, 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:18.360 and I was like, I was really fearful, you know, 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:21.200 in the time leading up to giving birth and becoming 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:23.200 a mom because it was so unknown, and so I 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:26.360 translated that into this really dark album, you know, because 0:08:26.360 --> 0:08:28.520 I wanted somewhere to put those feelings of like fear 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:30.000 and confusion, and. 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:31.000 It was just so effortless. 0:08:31.000 --> 0:08:32.719 It was so easy to know that that's what the 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:34.880 album was supposed to be. And then when it came 0:08:34.960 --> 0:08:36.960 time where I was like, okay, I should probably start 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:39.079 my fifth album, I just didn't know where to look. 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:41.400 And I was like, you know, I have my baby 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:45.240 and I'm home, and like, you know, I just I 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:47.240 don't really know that all that much is going on, 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:49.680 and I don't really want to start going backwards and 0:08:49.720 --> 0:08:53.520 digging through old stuff. And so I was I was 0:08:53.520 --> 0:08:58.560 a little, you know, stumped, and then I found out 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:02.840 that I was really sick, and I got the kind 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:05.559 of sick where you can't really leave your house, you know, 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:09.040 your body starts to look different, you lose your hair, like. 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:14.720 It was really just a completely transformative experience. And initially 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:17.360 when it first happened, I couldn't have been thinking less 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:20.320 about writing music that wasn't even on my radar. I 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:24.040 was just trying to figure out, you know, realistically, what 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:24.439 does this. 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:25.040 Mean for me? 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:27.760 You know, I was in that in between space waiting 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:31.280 for answers from doctors for months of like, you know, 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:36.000 not only could I be not in a position where 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:38.760 I get to be a musician anymore, but I don't 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:40.920 even know, you know, if I'm going to get to 0:09:41.200 --> 0:09:45.160 be anymore. And that was terrifying. And I was the 0:09:45.200 --> 0:09:47.280 mom of a one year old, you know, this was 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:50.120 like I had this whiplash kind of like the greatest 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:52.000 thing in the world ever happened to me, and then 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:55.160 all of a sudden, a really scary thing happened to me. 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:57.720 And then I knew that I had to start writing 0:09:57.920 --> 0:09:59.760 because I knew that was going to help me process 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:03.240 going on. And so yeah, I just I feel like 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:04.600 the reason I feel like I wrote it in the 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:08.880 space between life and death is because I and maybe 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:11.679 that's why it's similar to bad Lands too, because in 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:16.000 both situations, I didn't really have anything to lose, you know, 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:18.920 like I just had to make what was true to 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:22.840 me and what was like on my heart and like 0:10:22.920 --> 0:10:25.280 on my mind, and that was all I was thinking 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:27.280 about because I didn't have the luxury at that time 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:31.960 of thinking ahead, you know, into the future and getting 0:10:31.960 --> 0:10:35.200 anxious and overplanning and overthinking everything the way that I 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:37.760 had kind of done with albums prior. And so I 0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:40.319 think there's a pretty beautiful result because of that. 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:44.439 You know, I relate to everything that you just said 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:47.760 so much because I'm not gonna make this about me. 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:51.440 I'm just gonna know exquately. Something very similar happened to 0:10:51.480 --> 0:10:55.000 me almost a year ago. I was hitting my start. 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:56.960 Everything was amazing. I was like, this is the best 0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:59.040 life ever. And boom, I hit a while. I got really, 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:03.520 really sick, and it changed my perspective on everything. I 0:11:03.559 --> 0:11:06.440 see the world differently, I see color differently, I hear 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:09.200 laughter differently. Everything is different when you kind of get 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:12.080 that second chance to bounce back. And the hair loss, 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:14.839 by the way, yeah, this is a wig because well, 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:17.760 thank you, it all fell out. I was sitting on 0:11:17.760 --> 0:11:19.480 the couch one day, brushed it and here comes the 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:21.280 clump and it just never stopped from that. 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:22.520 I'm sorry that happened to you. 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:25.560 And I'm sorry that happened to you. It's really rough, right, Yeah. 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:28.680 And what I learned from that was I posted about it. Yeah, 0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:30.199 I went to Instagram and I said, this is what's 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:33.200 happening and here's a picture, and the amount of people, 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:37.960 specifically women, who said, holy crap, same thing. I don't 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:41.240 talk about it, What is your solution? What are you doing? 0:11:41.280 --> 0:11:44.240 How can you help me? Actually really made a difference 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:46.520 and made me feel better totally. And I feel like 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:49.440 this album from you is probably going to bring a 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:50.600 ton of moments like that. 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:53.720 Yeah, brace yourself it already, you know. 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:56.240 It was like I was really nervous to share that 0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:59.360 news with the world, you know, because as much as 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:03.280 I pride myself being authentic, I think subconsciously, you know, 0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:07.800 I had kind of taken on this external pressure to like, 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:11.160 you know, always look good and always be happy and 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:14.960 always you know, have something positive or interesting to say. 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:19.520 And I really felt at that point that I had 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:23.000 been living my life really truthfully and then I wasn't 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:25.840 afraid to tell anyone anything about myself. And then I 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:28.760 got hit a little bit with that the reality that 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:31.600 maybe that's not quite true about you. When I got sick, 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:33.840 and my first instinct was I need to hide this. 0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:37.480 I'm afraid of people knowing. And I'm glad I took 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:40.560 the time and the privacy to process it because there 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:43.240 were so many unknowns at the time that I think 0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:46.839 going through it publicly would have probably been just a disaster, 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:48.720 you know. I waited until everything was like a little 0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:50.600 bit more stable to share it. But then when I did, 0:12:51.280 --> 0:12:54.679 just the amount of people, you know, who just flooded 0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:58.160 in with support, some people with stories like mine, some 0:12:58.240 --> 0:13:01.920 people with stories far worse than mine, offering me, you know, 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:09.000 community and validation and support. And I was really overwhelmed 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:13.760 and just really touched. And I find that I make 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:16.600 the kind of albums where my fans always say to me, 0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:19.240 I don't know how you knew, but I needed this 0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:20.520 so much right now. 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:21.200 You know. 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:23.400 It's funny because I'm not thinking about that when I 0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:24.720 make them, and we're like, what do they need? 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:24.920 You know? 0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:26.160 What am I going through? 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:27.640 That's about me? 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:30.160 Yeah, but always seems to line up that way, and 0:13:30.200 --> 0:13:33.280 I was it was really interesting to see the influx 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:35.360 of people who felt that way about this record too, 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:38.840 which surprised me because I was very afraid while making 0:13:38.880 --> 0:13:41.720 this album that I was maybe writing about an experience 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:45.520 that was a little too singular, and then I was 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:48.199 proven wrong so fast in the best way, the worst way, 0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:50.000 because I'm sorry people are going through that, but in 0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:52.560 the best way of like knowing that, you know, there's 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:54.600 people who relate and we're kind of all going through 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:58.000 it together and feeling proud that I've made something that 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:01.839 they've expressed, you know, to help me, and now it's 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:03.400 helping them, and that's. 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:04.800 Like, I think, a real moment of pride for me. 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:15.760 I feel like life is sort of like a Google 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:19.600 search where almost no matter what you type in, so 0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:22.280 it's going to be completed because somebody else has looked 0:14:22.280 --> 0:14:24.680 for that, so somebody else has gone through that. And 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:27.640 until you get that feedback of like, holy crap, so 0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:29.520 many people have gone through this, it does feel like 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:32.640 it's just you. Yeah, but it's also the whole pain 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:36.520 shared is pain lessened, yea. And not only are you 0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:39.280 helping them, I would imagine just to a certain extent, 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:40.440 it helps you out as well. 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:42.840 Oh my gosh, so much. 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:45.360 Yeah, because it lessens that again, like you said, that 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:48.800 feeling of being alone and like just that's the solitude 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:51.520 of it all. I think the thing people don't really 0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:54.720 discuss all that much is how. 0:14:54.400 --> 0:14:56.040 Lonely it can be to. 0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:02.160 Be ill in a way that other people don't really understand, 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:05.680 you know. And it's how duly lonely it is to 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:07.520 also be a new mom and I was going through 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:09.440 both at the same time. So I just felt just 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:14.560 like just this abysmal loneliness. But it wasn't all for 0:15:14.720 --> 0:15:16.760 not because you know, I think I was a little 0:15:16.760 --> 0:15:19.320 misanthropic before I got sick. 0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:20.600 I was kind of getting to a point where I 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:22.040 was like, I've met enough people. 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:24.400 I don't need to meet anyone else ever. 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:27.560 Again, I've met enough people for the rest of my life. 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:30.240 And I was kind of becoming like a little introverted 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:32.040 in a way that was kind of foreign to me. 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:35.320 And then spending all that time, you know, home dealing 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:37.640 with my health. As soon as I kind of got 0:15:37.640 --> 0:15:39.480 the clear and like the go ahead that I was 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:41.600 doing well enough to get back out there and do 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:45.480 everything again, I was just walking around just wanting to 0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:48.760 talk to everyone and meet everyone, and just like you know, 0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:53.480 absolutely fresh perspective on life. And I'm hesitant to say 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:56.240 everything happens for a reason because I feel like there's 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:57.640 a lot of people who have been through some really 0:15:57.720 --> 0:15:59.680 terrible things who don't want to hear that because they're 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:02.440 like the reason I went through this suffering. 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:02.720 Of this grief. 0:16:03.160 --> 0:16:07.080 But for me personally, I'm grateful in a way that 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:10.000 I've had this experience because I like the person that 0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:12.200 I've turned out to be as a result of it 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:15.200 a lot better than the version that I was on 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:17.280 track to be coming beforehand. 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:18.720 That's so I'm grateful. 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:22.080 Yeah, a very incredible statement, and all of this just 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:24.240 thinking about it. You know, you're a new mom, obviously, 0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:26.920 your celebrity, millions of people looking at you every day 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:30.880 all the time, and they probably think everything's just perfect. Sure, 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:33.840 like no matter what happens, she's gonna be good. She 0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:35.920 has this amazing life. Which makes me think about your 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:39.760 rendition of lucky because what you see is not always 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:41.840 what is going on, and people feel like they have 0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:44.440 this right to you and they build these parasocial relationships 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:44.840 that you're. 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:46.560 Like, what, totally I didn't know. 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:49.000 And also when you're sick, everybody comes other woods like 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:51.400 they're a Google doctor to let you know what's happening. 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:53.960 I'm like, oh, please stop. But when you were working 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:57.600 on Lucky, how relatable was that to you? 0:16:58.040 --> 0:16:59.600 I mean, I was had the song stuck in my 0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:03.160 head for weeks before I decided to interpolate it. And 0:17:03.360 --> 0:17:05.719 you know, I'm one of those people where like I'll 0:17:06.160 --> 0:17:09.200 catch myself singing a song under my breath and it's 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:12.040 like it's like relatable to what's. 0:17:11.840 --> 0:17:13.480 Going on, you know what I mean. 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:17.560