1
00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:05,480
Speaker 1: This is John, this is the mm okay Storytime podcast hosts,

2
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:06,400
Speaker 1: and we have some.

3
00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:09,840
Speaker 2: Story's coming up for you.

4
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:10,640
Speaker 3: That's right.

5
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,280
Speaker 1: But before that, we have a little morsel of a

6
00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,360
Speaker 1: two minute outbreak from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

7
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:15,800
Speaker 4: Hmmm.

8
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:21,599
Speaker 2: I accidentally revealed the truth about my husband and brother.

9
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:23,880
Speaker 2: Now everything is ruined.

10
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:25,759
Speaker 4: They can't handle the truth.

11
00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:29,360
Speaker 2: Yes, that's right. I twenty nine female, have a husband

12
00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:32,440
Speaker 2: named Matt thirty two male, and an older brother named

13
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:35,360
Speaker 2: Tony thirty two male. Tony has a wife named Anna

14
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,360
Speaker 2: thirty three female. Tony and I both went to boarding

15
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,480
Speaker 2: school growing up. I went to an all girls school

16
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,880
Speaker 2: and he went to an all boys school across the country.

17
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,040
Speaker 2: Because of the distance, we weren't very close as kids,

18
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:47,319
Speaker 2: and I didn't know much about his life back then.

19
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:51,199
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user bro hub truth

20
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,280
Speaker 2: and you could submit your story to the r slash

21
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,600
Speaker 2: Okay Storytime Subburda. So, when Tony was at boarding school,

22
00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,920
Speaker 2: he met my future husband, Matt, and they became best friends.

23
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:04,120
Speaker 2: At the time, Tony was dealing with depression about his

24
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:08,000
Speaker 2: preferences and Matt helped him out of it. Long story short,

25
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,720
Speaker 2: they ended up falling in love and having a relationship.

26
00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,640
Speaker 2: Once they graduated high school, they broke up and lost touch.

27
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,520
Speaker 2: I didn't know about any of this at the time.

28
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,200
Speaker 2: I ended up going to the same university as Matt,

29
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:21,640
Speaker 2: which is where I met him. I didn't mention my

30
00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,679
Speaker 2: brother initially because he wasn't really a part of my life,

31
00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,319
Speaker 2: and since Tony and I have different last names, the

32
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,840
Speaker 2: three of us didn't put the pieces together until a

33
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,919
Speaker 2: family gathering a year later.

34
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,399
Speaker 4: That's a crazy family gathering, like you do the whooh

35
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:36,760
Speaker 4: oh you do?

36
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:40,320
Speaker 2: The wait a minute, oh I know you? Oh oh,

37
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,319
Speaker 2: I know you?

38
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:42,360
Speaker 4: How do you know each other?

39
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:42,800
Speaker 5: Oh?

40
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:47,360
Speaker 2: Oh, well, I'm not gonna lie. It was tough at

41
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,640
Speaker 2: first for everyone involved, but eventually we were all able

42
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,080
Speaker 2: to get past it, and Tony and Matt became best

43
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,840
Speaker 2: friends again. Matt and I got married three years ago.

44
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,640
Speaker 2: When I met Tony's partner, Anna for the first time,

45
00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,920
Speaker 2: I privately asked Tony if he told her about his

46
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,960
Speaker 2: history with Matt. Tony said it was still a new

47
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,920
Speaker 2: relationship and he would tell her when they were more serious. Now,

48
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:10,120
Speaker 2: Tony and Anna are married. Since Tony and Mat are

49
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:13,040
Speaker 2: so close, they often go on boys' trips with just

50
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,239
Speaker 2: the two of them. Oh, no, is this going to

51
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,200
Speaker 2: be broke Back Mountain?

52
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,400
Speaker 4: This is I think this is broke back Oh dude,

53
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:18,880
Speaker 4: this is going to.

54
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,920
Speaker 2: Be broke Back Mountain. They took one of these trips

55
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,880
Speaker 2: this past weekend, and everything was going fine until I

56
00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:27,480
Speaker 2: got a call from Anna asking if I knew where

57
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,400
Speaker 2: Tony was. Apparently he told her he was going to

58
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:33,640
Speaker 2: see our parents, but she called them and he wasn't there.

59
00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:36,120
Speaker 2: I told her that he was on a trip with Matt.

60
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,680
Speaker 2: She got upset and asked me if there was something

61
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,880
Speaker 2: going on between them, thinking she already knew because she

62
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,480
Speaker 2: and Tony are now married. I told her not to

63
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,960
Speaker 2: worry because Matt and Tony's romance ended in high school.

64
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,679
Speaker 2: That's when I found out Tony never told her.

65
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:53,919
Speaker 4: Tope spilled the bean.

66
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:59,600
Speaker 2: No, you spilled the bes. Tony was furious at me

67
00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:02,679
Speaker 2: when he because Anna is now threatening divorce and I'm

68
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,480
Speaker 2: tearing up his family because I told her without asking

69
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,960
Speaker 2: him first. Apparently Tony didn't tell Anna the truth because

70
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,520
Speaker 2: he thought she wouldn't let him see Matt anymore. And

71
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,960
Speaker 2: now Anna wants him to cut me and Matt out completely.

72
00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:15,840
Speaker 3: Does that?

73
00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:18,840
Speaker 4: What wit did? Ope know about Matt going out with

74
00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:21,040
Speaker 4: Tony too on the boy strips, which it seems like

75
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:21,519
Speaker 4: she did.

76
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think she did, and she's okay with it.

77
00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:27,160
Speaker 2: Matt is upset to because he can't see Tony and

78
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,000
Speaker 2: he's losing his best friend all over again. My brother

79
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,600
Speaker 2: wants to cut me out of his life, his wife

80
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,320
Speaker 2: wants a divorce, and my husband is miserable, all because

81
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,560
Speaker 2: of something I said. I feel so guilty and can't

82
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,920
Speaker 2: help but feel as though I messed up. Am I

83
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,480
Speaker 2: the a hole? I mean? No? No, no, really, no,

84
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:46,040
Speaker 2: here's an edit. I really appreciate everyone's comments. Some of

85
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,120
Speaker 2: them are really hard to read, but I suppose this

86
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,040
Speaker 2: is a wake up call that's long overdue. I know

87
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,320
Speaker 2: it may seem difficult to believe that someone my age

88
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,960
Speaker 2: can be so naive and clueless, but being rational is

89
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,320
Speaker 2: something I've always struggled with. I wish it were fake.

90
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,680
Speaker 2: I'm realizing that this is most likely far worse than

91
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,920
Speaker 2: I thought it was. I won't be able to respond

92
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,400
Speaker 2: to individual comments for a bit, but I'm reading all

93
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,800
Speaker 2: of them in the meantime, and we'll post an update

94
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,720
Speaker 2: when I can. At at number two, I've seen a

95
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,160
Speaker 2: lot of comments asking why I didn't say anything about

96
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,200
Speaker 2: the trips sooner and what I thought they were doing.

97
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,640
Speaker 2: So I'll just answer here. My brother has been struggling

98
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,040
Speaker 2: with pretty severe depression for the past few years. Because

99
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,120
Speaker 2: of this, he doesn't go out much or have many friends.

100
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,760
Speaker 2: My husband is his only close friend and the only

101
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,440
Speaker 2: one Tony will open up to. Because my husband helped

102
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,839
Speaker 2: him through depression when they were younger, the outings with

103
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,719
Speaker 2: Matt are one of the few things that make me

104
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,720
Speaker 2: my brother happy. Matt always told me they do regular

105
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,159
Speaker 2: things like play video games and watch movies and go biking,

106
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,360
Speaker 2: so I didn't think too much into it, even with

107
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,440
Speaker 2: Matt being Tony's X. I thought it was more like

108
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,800
Speaker 2: Matt was helping his friend through a tough time. That's

109
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,800
Speaker 2: not how that works. See maybe, oh times are tough. Well,

110
00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:51,359
Speaker 2: I'm gonna kiss your mouth. I don't know, man. I

111
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,599
Speaker 2: see how stupid I was to assume that, but that

112
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,520
Speaker 2: was my thought process at three. Please don't let this

113
00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:01,000
Speaker 2: post be a justification for any phobias towards the gay community.

114
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,160
Speaker 2: Whatever happens with my brother and my husband isn't reflective

115
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,040
Speaker 2: of those people as a whole. Last at it. Wow.

116
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,560
Speaker 2: I stepped away for a bit and there's a ton

117
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,840
Speaker 2: of comments. Won't be able to respond individually as there's

118
00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:12,640
Speaker 2: a lot going on right now, but I'll still be

119
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,479
Speaker 2: reading before I sign off. A couple quick updates. Matt

120
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,800
Speaker 2: agreed to tell me everything after I've given him some

121
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,880
Speaker 2: time and space to process all of this as much

122
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,600
Speaker 2: as I and probably you all want answers. Now that's

123
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,800
Speaker 2: what we'll be doing. Still no word from brother or

124
00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:26,599
Speaker 2: sister in law. I'm going to give it a rest

125
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,320
Speaker 2: for the day and try to focus on something that

126
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,719
Speaker 2: doesn't terrify me. I'll be back with a separate update

127
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,400
Speaker 2: post when things make more sense. Thank you all. Also,

128
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,159
Speaker 2: I have seen Broke Back Mountain.

129
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:35,560
Speaker 4: Wow.

130
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,400
Speaker 2: Evidently it's a lot more fun on screen than it

131
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,320
Speaker 2: is in real life.

132
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,200
Speaker 4: Oh my wow, oh wow. Yeah.

133
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,520
Speaker 2: I mean, it's gotta be hard to realize that your

134
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:47,040
Speaker 2: husband's Saudi is not what you thought it was. We

135
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,000
Speaker 2: can't jump to conclusions, but there's an update, so let's

136
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,719
Speaker 2: jump into that. After I gave my husband space, I

137
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,360
Speaker 2: confronted him about his trips with my brother. He agreed

138
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,640
Speaker 2: to be honest with me about the relationship. As some

139
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,520
Speaker 2: of you suspected Matt knew when we first met that

140
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,640
Speaker 2: I was to his sister and started dating me to

141
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:06,640
Speaker 2: get close to Tony again. No way, Oh my god.

142
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,240
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, okay, keep reading.

143
00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:11,360
Speaker 2: Did not expect that. He claimed that in the first

144
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,160
Speaker 2: year of our relationship, before he reunited with Tony, he

145
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,040
Speaker 2: genuinely fell in love with me. When Tony saw us together,

146
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,720
Speaker 2: he admitted to Matt that he still loved him and

147
00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:23,120
Speaker 2: was distraught when Matt said he didn't feel the same way. Eventually,

148
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,120
Speaker 2: they made amends and became close friends again. Around the

149
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,080
Speaker 2: time Matt married me, Tony fell into a deep depression.

150
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,480
Speaker 4: A correlation? Is there a correlation?

151
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:35,000
Speaker 2: There? Don't like this? That's when the trips started. Matt

152
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,280
Speaker 2: told me that initially he was just supporting Tony as

153
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,359
Speaker 2: a friend, but Tony broke down on one of the

154
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:42,560
Speaker 2: trips and confessed that he never stopped loving Matt, and

155
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,960
Speaker 2: he was lying about the trips to his wife because

156
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,360
Speaker 2: he felt guilty, which is also why he never told

157
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,680
Speaker 2: her about their history. He begged Matt to keep this

158
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,480
Speaker 2: a secret to protect their relationship. According to Matt, nothing

159
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,440
Speaker 2: physical ever happened between them. I pushed him on why

160
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,320
Speaker 2: Anna thought there was something going on, and Matt eventually

161
00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,920
Speaker 2: admitted that they were having an emotion affair. A few

162
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,640
Speaker 2: months ago, Anna overheard a phone call between Tony and

163
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,159
Speaker 2: Matt that made her suspicious, so she went through Tony's

164
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:09,000
Speaker 2: phone and confronted him about some things. She found no

165
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:12,040
Speaker 2: hard proof, but enough to make her uneasy. She told

166
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,640
Speaker 2: Tony that she didn't want him hanging out with Matt anymore,

167
00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:18,040
Speaker 2: but he did anyway until I accidentally ratted him out.

168
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,920
Speaker 2: My brother and sister in law have totally cut contact,

169
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,800
Speaker 2: so I don't have anyone to corroborate my husband's story.

170
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:25,600
Speaker 2: I still don't know how much of it I believe

171
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,560
Speaker 2: if it's true. I don't know why Anna never told

172
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,520
Speaker 2: me anything. The whole thing sounds too ridiculous to be real,

173
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:35,280
Speaker 2: but for now, it's all I have. Matt apologized NonStop

174
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,880
Speaker 2: and wants to work through this, which I can't even

175
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,160
Speaker 2: think about right now. The past couple of weeks have

176
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,000
Speaker 2: been awful. Matt moved out. We both agreed that we

177
00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,800
Speaker 2: need distance before making any decisions about our marriage, but

178
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,880
Speaker 2: I don't see us coming back from this. I don't

179
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,960
Speaker 2: think I'll ever be able to trust anyone again. The

180
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,800
Speaker 2: worst thing is I have only myself to blame for

181
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:55,880
Speaker 2: being so effing naive and not seeing the massive red

182
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,760
Speaker 2: flags sooner, and for marrying my brother's ex in the

183
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,960
Speaker 2: first place. More than any thing, I feel so incredibly guilty,

184
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,200
Speaker 2: which I mean, you're not really, You're not guilty.

185
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,960
Speaker 4: You just you did the You didn't even do anything wrong, Yeah,

186
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:10,000
Speaker 4: you were. You were operating from your version of reality,

187
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,560
Speaker 4: which you know, you feel bad because everyone else feel

188
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,720
Speaker 4: bad that everyone else feels bad for the decisions. But

189
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,160
Speaker 4: that's on them. It's Matt and Tony.

190
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,360
Speaker 2: Matt and Tony were the ones who decided to lie

191
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:21,280
Speaker 2: to Anna.

192
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you, So you did nothing wrong. You're not

193
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,360
Speaker 4: an a hole. You did nothing wrong, And that's their

194
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:27,960
Speaker 4: fault that they feel like this. And now they're pinning

195
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,360
Speaker 4: the blame on you because that the truth that should

196
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,480
Speaker 4: have been brought out a long time ago. Correct.

197
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,880
Speaker 2: You spoke the truth, and I will now speak a

198
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,760
Speaker 2: truth as well, which is that you can get full

199
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:42,520
Speaker 2: episodes with stories like this streamed directly into your ear holes.

200
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,679
Speaker 2: All you need to do is go to Spotify or

201
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,760
Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts or any place where you listen to podcasts

202
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,920
Speaker 2: and search. Okay, story time and there you have it.

203
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,240
Speaker 2: Before we finish this story, clearly this is this is

204
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,400
Speaker 2: this is uh gone on some twists and turns. It's

205
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:56,840
Speaker 2: pretty freaking wild.

206
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,160
Speaker 4: I still think this is like a broke my mountain,

207
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,840
Speaker 4: that this is like it without.

208
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:04,679
Speaker 2: Broke back mountain, but just strictly emotionally apparently apparently.

209
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,280
Speaker 4: Broke back apparently. Yeah, that we don't know, but I

210
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,120
Speaker 4: think I think Matt moving out I did. Yeah, I'm

211
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,760
Speaker 4: with op, Like I don't think of how you can,

212
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:12,600
Speaker 4: how can you come back?

213
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,080
Speaker 2: I I don't know how you can. I think you

214
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,280
Speaker 2: definitely need space to be able to make the decision.

215
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:21,000
Speaker 2: But like such a fundamental breaking of trust, especially the

216
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,920
Speaker 2: dropping the bomb of like, yeah, I got with you

217
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,319
Speaker 2: knowing that you were his sister, and the reason I

218
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,840
Speaker 2: started dating you was to eventually get close to him.

219
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,360
Speaker 4: And that's like, yeah, that's all bad. I don't Yeah,

220
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:34,080
Speaker 4: that's not good.

221
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,640
Speaker 2: Our life is a lie. Oh, our life is a lie.

222
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,720
Speaker 4: Our love is a lie. Your love is a lie.

223
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,400
Speaker 2: And it's like no, no, no, but I really do

224
00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:43,080
Speaker 2: love you. It's like, yeah, but you love my brother more.

225
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,520
Speaker 4: But you've been hanging out with my brother a lot more.

226
00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:46,160
Speaker 2: If you really loved me like that, would you have

227
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,240
Speaker 2: lied to me like that that whole time?

228
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,320
Speaker 4: Because guess what, Tony, Tony could confess his love and

229
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:52,880
Speaker 4: like you can't tell anyone.

230
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,360
Speaker 2: Let's finish this story. This was not the ending I'd

231
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,120
Speaker 2: hoped for, but I'm grateful that I at least have

232
00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,520
Speaker 2: some answers now. Honestly, I'm not sure or I would

233
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,560
Speaker 2: have had the courage to directly confront this if not

234
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:05,559
Speaker 2: for my post here. So despite everything, maybe we can

235
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,319
Speaker 2: all think of this as a somewhat happy ending. Thank

236
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,640
Speaker 2: you all for your comments and support, and there is

237
00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,559
Speaker 2: a quick edit. The outpouring of love and support from

238
00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:14,760
Speaker 2: this sup is incredibly moving to me. Thank you so

239
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,839
Speaker 2: much for all of your comments, awards, and messages. I

240
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,480
Speaker 2: can't express enough much I appreciate it. I can't respond

241
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,440
Speaker 2: directly to all the comments, but rest assured you have

242
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:25,000
Speaker 2: my gratitude and that is the end of the story.

243
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, just focus on yourself, Hopie, and see where things go.

244
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,120
Speaker 4: That's crazy. I would try and reach out to Anna,

245
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,400
Speaker 4: but I don't know there's something you can do at

246
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,640
Speaker 4: this moment is just do you.

247
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:34,680
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do my own thing.

248
00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:36,719
Speaker 4: I'm gonna do my own thing, and we're gonna get

249
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,800
Speaker 4: you another story and just stay tuned.

250
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,120
Speaker 2: That's my thing. My thing is giving you the next story.

251
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:46,040
Speaker 4: I refuse to take my husband's last name for cultural reasons.

252
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:52,560
Speaker 4: My in laws went hostile. Ooh hostile spotted me Email

253
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:56,200
Speaker 4: twenty six and my fiance, Jake Mail twenty seven had

254
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,960
Speaker 4: been together for five years. We met in college while

255
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,760
Speaker 4: he was doing an exchange in my country, Belgium. He

256
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,960
Speaker 4: is from the US. He loved it here so he

257
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,840
Speaker 4: decided to stay and we are really happy here. By

258
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,480
Speaker 4: the way, this comes from user am I the ahole

259
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:12,760
Speaker 4: FM and you can submit your stories on our slash ok.

260
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:13,880
Speaker 4: Storytime suppered it.

261
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:14,120
Speaker 6: So.

262
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,439
Speaker 4: I've met his family a few times when we went

263
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,640
Speaker 4: there to visit them. They have never been to Belgium.

264
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:22,240
Speaker 4: Important for later now here, women do not take their

265
00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,680
Speaker 4: husband's last name. It is the law. All documents will

266
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,000
Speaker 4: still be in my maiden name after our wedding. I

267
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,200
Speaker 4: think it is possible to do all kinds of administrative

268
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,400
Speaker 4: stuff to change my name, but I don't want to.

269
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,160
Speaker 4: All women around me have their maiden name, and my

270
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,760
Speaker 4: fiance agrees that I should keep my name on to

271
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,120
Speaker 4: the main issue. Three days ago, we were doing a

272
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,480
Speaker 4: zoom call with his family and the topic of the

273
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:45,520
Speaker 4: name came up, and they were very surprised that I

274
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,600
Speaker 4: was not taking his name. I explained very calmly that

275
00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:50,480
Speaker 4: it is the law here and that I had the

276
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:53,120
Speaker 4: perfect example of my mom who had a business in

277
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,560
Speaker 4: her maiden name and only used my father's name when

278
00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:58,320
Speaker 4: dealing with our school or things like that, and that

279
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,400
Speaker 4: I wanted to take the same apace as her. Well,

280
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:05,920
Speaker 4: all heck broke loose. His mom started screaming at me,

281
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,080
Speaker 4: saying that it is not because I come from a

282
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,800
Speaker 4: country of peasants that I should punish my fiance, that

283
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,440
Speaker 4: he was so far away from them because of me,

284
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,560
Speaker 4: and so on. Jake defended me, and I tried to

285
00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:18,959
Speaker 4: calm her down, but she turned to her husband while

286
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,280
Speaker 4: crying that they never come to my country because they

287
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,720
Speaker 4: know that it is not nearly as good as the US.

288
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,640
Speaker 4: And then I just proved it, and fall in law

289
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,800
Speaker 4: said that it was my petty feminist bee and that

290
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,280
Speaker 4: he didn't want to listen to such nonsense. They left

291
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,280
Speaker 4: the call, and my fiance comforted me because I was

292
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,560
Speaker 4: honestly very shocked by their reaction and their insults. I

293
00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:41,720
Speaker 4: thought it was over, but they've been sending hateful messages

294
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,959
Speaker 4: over the past days. They even got there so their

295
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,199
Speaker 4: family to do it as well, and even my parents

296
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,160
Speaker 4: said that I should try to keep the peace and

297
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,160
Speaker 4: offer to check into the administrative procedures to change my name,

298
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:54,320
Speaker 4: but I really don't want to. My fiance is conflicted.

299
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,160
Speaker 4: He grew up in a town where it was very,

300
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,240
Speaker 4: very uncommon for a woman and to not take her

301
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:00,760
Speaker 4: husband's name, and he agrees that it would keep the

302
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,160
Speaker 4: peace with his family, but he does not want to

303
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,880
Speaker 4: force me, and he says, it's my decision. Am I

304
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:09,199
Speaker 4: the aole here? No? No, it's the fact that your

305
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,920
Speaker 4: husband and you agree on that mutually. That's fine. You

306
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,080
Speaker 4: don't need anyone else to be like you need to

307
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,800
Speaker 4: do this because it's up to you. It is your culture.

308
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,920
Speaker 4: They need to respect that. I didn't expect this to

309
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,640
Speaker 4: blow up at all. Thank you everyone for your input.

310
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,640
Speaker 4: I stayed up until three am last night to read

311
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,520
Speaker 4: your comments, and I am relieved to know that I

312
00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:30,600
Speaker 4: was in the right to the people not understanding why

313
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,120
Speaker 4: I was doubting myself. I was a very confrontational person

314
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,640
Speaker 4: when I was younger, but after bad stuff happening with

315
00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:38,560
Speaker 4: close people, I learned to keep my mouth shut. Moreover,

316
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,080
Speaker 4: his parents never behaved like this with me, and when

317
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:44,319
Speaker 4: my parents and my fiance actually agreed a little with them,

318
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,080
Speaker 4: so no one was on my side, I started doubting

319
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:50,360
Speaker 4: my approach. I realized now that I've become too kind,

320
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,480
Speaker 4: and that I let people walk all over me, and

321
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,760
Speaker 4: that I need to call them on their bs more often.

322
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,400
Speaker 4: As for my fiance, we had a long conversation about

323
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,920
Speaker 4: this this morning. He was very defensive at the beginnings,

324
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,520
Speaker 4: saying that his parents probably didn't mean it and blah

325
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,200
Speaker 4: blah blah blah blah. But after explaining my side of

326
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,080
Speaker 4: things and showing him the messages they sent, he actually

327
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,800
Speaker 4: realized that they were completely out of line. He admitted

328
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,400
Speaker 4: that they never behaved like that with him either, that

329
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,640
Speaker 4: he was so surprised by their attitude, and that he

330
00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:17,520
Speaker 4: didn't know how to react. I've showed him some of

331
00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:20,000
Speaker 4: your comments, and he understands now that he has to

332
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,560
Speaker 4: set clear boundaries because it is the first of many

333
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,320
Speaker 4: fights if he does not. He promised me that he

334
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,640
Speaker 4: was going to send them a message today saying that

335
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,280
Speaker 4: this kind of behavior would not be accepted and that

336
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,960
Speaker 4: they needed to apologize to me if they wanted to

337
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,200
Speaker 4: come to the wedding. He apologized profusely and I want

338
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,600
Speaker 4: to trust him. We also discussed the topic of name

339
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,640
Speaker 4: again and he promised me that he was fully supporting

340
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:46,480
Speaker 4: my decision concerning children. We already had a conversation because

341
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,720
Speaker 4: we both want to be parents, and we agree to

342
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:52,080
Speaker 4: give his last name. We have an update. Hi again everyone.

343
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:55,000
Speaker 4: I received some messages asking for an update, so here

344
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,120
Speaker 4: we are. Firstly, I want to thank all of you

345
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,800
Speaker 4: for your advice and opinions. Hours reading your comments and

346
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,040
Speaker 4: it really helped me gain some perspective. Around a week

347
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,080
Speaker 4: after my first post, I asked to have a very

348
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:09,400
Speaker 4: big conversation with Jake, as you suggested, to discuss our future.

349
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:09,840
Speaker 2: Well.

350
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,680
Speaker 4: At some point he broke down and he told me

351
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,960
Speaker 4: he had lied about being surprised at their attitude. He

352
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,160
Speaker 4: said that what he was surprised about was that they

353
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,360
Speaker 4: did it in front of me. According to him, he

354
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,640
Speaker 4: knew they were not happy when we started dating, for

355
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:25,200
Speaker 4: various reasons, including their fear that he would live far away,

356
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,800
Speaker 4: but also that I am considered a leftist in the US,

357
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,520
Speaker 4: that I'm not a Christian. Apparently they made some mean

358
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,080
Speaker 4: comments to him in the first two months I came

359
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,560
Speaker 4: to visit, and he didn't want to tell me about

360
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,920
Speaker 4: it because he wanted to protect me. His solution was

361
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,200
Speaker 4: to be less in contact with them. They stopped their

362
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,880
Speaker 4: remarks after that and started to pressure him to marry

363
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:45,760
Speaker 4: me and have kids, though he thought they'd changed their

364
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,960
Speaker 4: mind about me. While I knew, they were the kind

365
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,880
Speaker 4: to say stuff like this is America speak English? It

366
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,760
Speaker 4: is more serious than I thought, because apparently they were

367
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,600
Speaker 4: really upset and criticized me because I sometimes had to

368
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,040
Speaker 4: search for a word in English and so would use

369
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,440
Speaker 4: my French English trains ys later when I was over there.

370
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,280
Speaker 2: I can't think of a group of people I hate

371
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:08,160
Speaker 2: more than the people who were like the America speak English. Hey,

372
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,040
Speaker 2: do you know that there's actually no national language in

373
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,360
Speaker 2: America because we're a cultural melting pot. You've dounce.

374
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, We're a gumbo of everything. But the people who

375
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,600
Speaker 4: can't understand that or accept that we got a lot

376
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:19,120
Speaker 4: to talk about.

377
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,440
Speaker 2: Not he God. Actually, I have nothing to say to

378
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,520
Speaker 2: you other than leave my presence.

379
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,360
Speaker 4: Jake said that he was quick to nip it in

380
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,240
Speaker 4: the bud as he knows that my English is my

381
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,440
Speaker 4: third language. Fact that this was an issue for them

382
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,240
Speaker 4: made me realize how deep their dislike of me is.

383
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,960
Speaker 4: Learning all that was definitely a shock and took a

384
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:38,080
Speaker 4: while to process, but ultimately I decided to forgive Jake,

385
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,280
Speaker 4: as I know he did that to protect me and

386
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,560
Speaker 4: actually agrees with me that we need to cut them out,

387
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:46,440
Speaker 4: at least for a while. However, I asked to postpone

388
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,400
Speaker 4: the wedding as I needed time to be sure. The

389
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,240
Speaker 4: new date is in two months, and his parents and

390
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,200
Speaker 4: the members of the family who harassed me are not invited.

391
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,760
Speaker 4: I think that this time we were able to discuss

392
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,280
Speaker 4: our future while being a lot more open to each other.

393
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,120
Speaker 4: I told him that I see no issue giving his

394
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,240
Speaker 4: last name to our kids, but that I would not

395
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,840
Speaker 4: negotiate on the languages. We both agree to stay here

396
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,200
Speaker 4: in Belgium. It's a multi cultural country and I don't

397
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,880
Speaker 4: want to penalize them in life because they don't speak

398
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,480
Speaker 4: the languages of that country. I obviously want them to

399
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:17,040
Speaker 4: speak English, but I told them I would not accept

400
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,840
Speaker 4: them not being able to speak French. And Dutch. He

401
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:23,240
Speaker 4: agreed and even said he would start taking French lessons again.

402
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,880
Speaker 4: And by the way, we could teach you a bunch

403
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:29,040
Speaker 4: of lessons with a bunch of episodes with stories just

404
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:34,520
Speaker 4: like this on Spotify, Apple podcasts, wherever you listen to podcasts,

405
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,040
Speaker 4: just search. Okay, story time, there's a little bit left

406
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,560
Speaker 4: to the story. But Dakota, how do we feel.

407
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,080
Speaker 2: I think it's already pretty clear how we feel. You know,

408
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,040
Speaker 2: you know, the whims of your family will always be

409
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,760
Speaker 2: a tricky thing to navigate. But like clearly they're not

410
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,600
Speaker 2: the best people. Just don't pay attention to them.

411
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,720
Speaker 4: You know what. I think they're like the white lie

412
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:59,280
Speaker 4: that OPI's future husband was a jake. Jake in this

413
00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:01,200
Speaker 4: case is a white lie. And I think that was

414
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,919
Speaker 4: the bet for like, the betterment for everyone, but to

415
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,480
Speaker 4: go low contact. And he tested it and saw what

416
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:11,040
Speaker 4: happened with low contact. No contact, no contact unless they apologize,

417
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 4: which I still don't think they deserve it, you know,

418
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,320
Speaker 4: to talk to you or talk to your grandkids. Agreed, So,

419
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,719
Speaker 4: but let's finish up the story. I think we are

420
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 4: both a bit sad that it had to come to that.

421
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,639
Speaker 4: I think he really wanted to believe that his family

422
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,919
Speaker 4: could accept me, and even though he was not in

423
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,720
Speaker 4: contact with them that much, it was not easy for

424
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 4: him to completely cut them off. But I'm supporting him

425
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,040
Speaker 4: as much as I can. Thank you again for all

426
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,080
Speaker 4: your messages and comments. Most of them were really helpful

427
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,359
Speaker 4: and helped us both and made us open our eyes

428
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:38,440
Speaker 4: to our issues.

429
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:39,639
Speaker 2: Thanks You're welcome.

430
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,480
Speaker 4: Thank you. Good luck. Op, they got it.

431
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,320
Speaker 2: She speaks three languages. She's got it.

432
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, good luck to you and your family. That sounds

433
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,600
Speaker 4: like it's gonna be very cool and very sweet.

434
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,240
Speaker 2: Kids are gonna beautiful and intelligence and speak three languages.

435
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:55,680
Speaker 4: Amazing. Shout out to you. You got this. Cut contact

436
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:56,200
Speaker 4: and that's.

437
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:56,879
Speaker 2: The end of that story.

438
00:18:57,119 --> 00:18:58,680
Speaker 4: We get, but don't go anywhere. We got.

439
00:18:58,880 --> 00:18:59,560
Speaker 2: We got on more.

440
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:05,119
Speaker 5: My adult sister's baby talking is making me insane, so

441
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,240
Speaker 5: I asked her to stop.

442
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:12,480
Speaker 6: Oh you don't like it. You don't like the baby talk.

443
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:15,520
Speaker 5: Like Google Gaga, Oh my gosh, really read it for

444
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:19,159
Speaker 5: this one, as I genuinely don't know if I'm the

445
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,320
Speaker 5: a hole the way as my sister has read it.

446
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 3: All fake names.

447
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:30,680
Speaker 5: My thirty four sister, twenty seven Elana, has been somewhat infatable, infatible, infantile, infantile,

448
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 5: new word, what's up with that? But in the last

449
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 5: year she stepped up her game in the category of

450
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 5: nonsense baby talk. She was seeing a guy last year

451
00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,480
Speaker 5: who I think liked it, which might be why she's

452
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,000
Speaker 5: literally every second sentence and it's driving me nuts.

453
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 2: By the way, this.

454
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,919
Speaker 5: Comes from am I diable sister act on the art

455
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 5: Slashalkey story Time. Some examples, she arrived at my house

456
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 5: and asked if she could put some muse in the fruit.

457
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:00,399
Speaker 2: Ah.

458
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:02,399
Speaker 3: I didn't even know what she's saying.

459
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 5: It turns out she wanted to put my juice in

460
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 5: my fridge. On seeing a six month old crying, she

461
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:13,680
Speaker 5: loudly said, oh no, don't cree do cree, don't do dad.

462
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:18,120
Speaker 5: And she's asked if we've had any eat any freeze

463
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,960
Speaker 5: I saw in the freezer. You hit the idea.

464
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 3: It's endless and very annoying.

465
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 5: My older sister thirty five female Estie and I have

466
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 5: chosen to combat this by pretending we don't know what

467
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 5: she means until she.

468
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:33,920
Speaker 3: Says it correctly.

469
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,159
Speaker 5: My mom does nothing about it, as Alana is the

470
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 5: youngest and always babied a bit. Mom has even translated

471
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,199
Speaker 5: the baby talk for me and see when we are

472
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,399
Speaker 5: pretending we don't understand anyway, Yesterday Alana was at my

473
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,159
Speaker 5: house for my birthday and the baby talk was dialed

474
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,920
Speaker 5: up to one hundred.

475
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,440
Speaker 6: Oh no, we had a.

476
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 5: Giant we had giant cookie for a cake, and later

477
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 5: in the evening, Alana handed my husband a plate and requested.

478
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,400
Speaker 2: A slice of cooks.

479
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,199
Speaker 5: Oh God, side of the cookie cake. This was too

480
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,199
Speaker 5: much for me, and I told her to stop with

481
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,440
Speaker 5: the made up words. She replied, it's.

482
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 6: Cute, cute thing, cute thing that the boyfriend did with her,

483
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:14,720
Speaker 6: but she's taken away too far, way too far, yeh.

484
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 5: I informed her that this was not cute and asked

485
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 5: her to cut it out. She refused and told me

486
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 5: I can do whatever I want and nobody can tell.

487
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 6: Me what.

488
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,680
Speaker 5: Or something along those nights, which my mom agreed. Then

489
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,760
Speaker 5: I said that she needs to make sure not to

490
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 5: use the nonsense words in front of my six months old,

491
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 5: as I don't want her learning the right words oh God,

492
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 5: which was really just an excuse to stop her from

493
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 5: doing it. I want to point it out that Etsy

494
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,679
Speaker 5: used made up words with her two year old. Etsy

495
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 5: says tumor instead of tummer instead of tummy, but that's

496
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 5: the only one she could think of. I said that

497
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 5: what Etsy does with her daughter is irrelevant because I'm

498
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,120
Speaker 5: the only one asking Elana to stop. But that might

499
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:01,359
Speaker 5: not be relevant, but I am adding four transparency. When

500
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,160
Speaker 5: my husband reappeared with the cake, I refused to let

501
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 5: Alana have it until she asked for it properly. She

502
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,919
Speaker 5: gave me a death clare, but did ask properly A

503
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 5: bet sulkily, my am, I the a hole is twofold.

504
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 5: Here was I the a hole to withhold the cake

505
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 5: until she asked for it like an adult? And was

506
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 5: I the a hole for telling her to stop talking

507
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 5: nonsense in the first place. She is, after all, a

508
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,199
Speaker 5: fully grown adult who can do what she likes. But

509
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,880
Speaker 5: honestly can't tell you how irritating it is to hear

510
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,440
Speaker 5: nonsense talk all the time from a twenty seven year

511
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 5: old woman, and she had dialed it up to an eleven.

512
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 3: For some reason.

513
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,680
Speaker 5: My mom agreed with Alana, obviously, and Etsy wasn't there,

514
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,400
Speaker 5: but agreed with me when she was told what happened,

515
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,600
Speaker 5: as did my husband. I love to put my foot

516
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 5: down and tell her to cut it out every time.

517
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 5: But I need the judgment on Reddit for this, as

518
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 5: I don't know if I'm blinded by my unreasonableness by

519
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:54,359
Speaker 5: how annoying it is.

520
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:54,879
Speaker 3: And we got it.

521
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:55,119
Speaker 2: Edit.

522
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,240
Speaker 5: Thanks for all the comments. I'm reading through them on

523
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 5: and off while looking after my daughter, and some of

524
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:00,880
Speaker 5: them are really making me laugh.

525
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 3: To answer a few questions.

526
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 5: Yes, I've addressed this with her before, as has Etsy.

527
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,639
Speaker 5: This is just the first time I've flat out refused

528
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 5: to follow up on what she said. She pulled the

529
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 5: but you do it with your daughter card on Etsy

530
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 5: before two, so clearly she thinks it's a good argument.

531
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 5: The only people present were me, my mom, Alana, and

532
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 5: my husband. It was just a low key thing, no

533
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,680
Speaker 5: big crowd. Etsy and her husband joined later via zoom.

534
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 5: We played joke boat on Jackbox. I came fifth. Alana

535
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,879
Speaker 5: is generally very sweet and fun, but definitely immature and

536
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 5: could be super annoying.

537
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 3: This gets on my very last.

538
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,440
Speaker 5: Nerve very quickly, and I could be hard on her,

539
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 5: Hence my am I the a hole. Usually my husband

540
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 5: is good at pointing out if I'm being harsh, but

541
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 5: he was totally on my side here. Yes, I use

542
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 5: the IAM's sistern names on purpose, and yes I'm smug.

543
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 5: I get to be Danielle. I don't know what that means.

544
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 6: Those are the it's a band. It's remember when we

545
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 6: went to the Spotify event it was the three girls DJing.

546
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:01,679
Speaker 6: It was those girls.

547
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,280
Speaker 4: Him, him, Yeah, it was those girls.

548
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:05,120
Speaker 2: She's mentioning those girls.

549
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, dude, he's big. I don't know.

550
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, I had no clue.

551
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:11,920
Speaker 5: It was just like always like three random chicken. It's

552
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 5: like one DJ with her sister. It's cool, that's what

553
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 5: I thought.

554
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,719
Speaker 6: No, No, they are like in Taylor Swift songs and stuff.

555
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 4: Yeah.

556
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,439
Speaker 5: Yeah, Anyway, my mom just came over and I spoke

557
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,399
Speaker 5: to her. She agreed very quickly that it's annoying AF

558
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 5: but said that Alana is working on standing up for

559
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 5: herself and my mom wanted to support that. I was like, sure,

560
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,439
Speaker 5: but pick your battles. My mom agreed and said she

561
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,679
Speaker 5: will talk to her when it's just them, as she

562
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,159
Speaker 5: thought that agreeing with me in the moment would have

563
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 5: made Alana defensive and she wouldn't have listened, which is

564
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:45,119
Speaker 5: probably true. I mentioned what some commenters had said about

565
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 5: it being my house and me being able to ask

566
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 5: her to stop. She agreed with this and reiterated that

567
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 5: she would talk to Alana. That's all I have for now,

568
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 5: and I'm going to talk to Etsy, and I think

569
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 5: we're going to go for talk to her seriously, so

570
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,439
Speaker 5: I treat her like an adult approach and try to

571
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 5: be a bit kinder about it. They skin for the comments.

572
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 5: Etsy and I are feeling very vindicated.

573
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 3: We got updates.

574
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 5: Oh boy, Yeah, this is a good point.

575
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:14,919
Speaker 3: She may get defensive, but she can't entertain this. You

576
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 3: can't entertain.

577
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,040
Speaker 6: I know, they really can't. I think the only way

578
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 6: that she would actually stop is if everyone's like, oh

579
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,439
Speaker 6: my god, it's so annoying.

580
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:24,680
Speaker 3: The second she opens her mouth.

581
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 6: Like god, stop it. Listen, listen. I'm gonna go on

582
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 6: the record and say sometimes bullying works.

583
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,240
Speaker 2: Update updates.

584
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 5: As I said before, Etsy and I feel incredibly vindicated

585
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 5: by the judgment and the comments in general. As we

586
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,159
Speaker 5: are always being told by our mom not to be

587
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 5: hard on poor Alana. It's gotten to the point where

588
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 5: we don't even rip into her like we like we

589
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 5: do each other, which is a shame as we are

590
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:52,360
Speaker 5: English and our primary love language is insult and anyway,

591
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,360
Speaker 5: I digress. I got my chance to confront Alana on

592
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 5: Saturday evening, peak time of the week, when Alana and

593
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 5: my mom came over another round of jack box, and

594
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 5: Alana asked me if I liked her new jump. Oh no,

595
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 5: I replied, you're what, and she leveled me with a

596
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 5: slightly smug, unblinking stare. My mom jumps in and tells

597
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 5: me she means her jumper, and Alana interrupts her, saying

598
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,160
Speaker 5: she knows what I mean. I can say jump if

599
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,760
Speaker 5: I like so. So Mom did nothing, mother.

600
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 3: Zipabity z row, not at all.

601
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 4: That's mommy's will baby.

602
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,639
Speaker 6: Mommy's widow, baby jump. I thought she was gonna be

603
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 6: like jetn't really I jump.

604
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 3: I thought she was gonna do that.

605
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:41,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

606
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 6: I thought she was gonna do like a little jump

607
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,199
Speaker 6: and be like, try to be like stupid with it

608
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 6: or something, and you do fashion design.

609
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,879
Speaker 3: Is anyone ever called it a jump? A jump or

610
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:49,439
Speaker 3: a jump?

611
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:50,959
Speaker 6: Yeah, dude, I don't know.

612
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:54,159
Speaker 5: Clearly she had decided to double down. I had my

613
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 5: Reddit voices in my ears and I was prepared. I

614
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,200
Speaker 5: asked her to stop talking and nonsense words, and she

615
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:02,879
Speaker 5: told me that it's the thing that all millennials do

616
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 5: and that I needed to get over it, and said

617
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 5: that I do it too, and gave a prose as

618
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:13,639
Speaker 5: an example, it's a drink. I disagreed, and then told

619
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 5: her that I've been googling it translation, I've asked a

620
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 5: bunch of redditors, and that it made me wonder if

621
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 5: she's doing it as a reaction to no longer being

622
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 5: the youngest and the family anymore. She was very affronted

623
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,400
Speaker 5: by this, telling me that she had been doing it

624
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 5: in a way, telling me she had been doing it

625
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 5: way longer than the arrival of the kids. I said

626
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:36,400
Speaker 5: that she'd been doing it much more recently.

627
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 3: My mom agreed with me.

628
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 5: Finally livid at this point and kept spluttering that it

629
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 5: wasn't the case.

630
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 3: I then said that my.

631
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:50,920
Speaker 5: Google Reddit research, I read that it could be oh,

632
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 5: that it could be a comfort for anxiety, and asked

633
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,439
Speaker 5: her was this if that is what that was. She

634
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 5: seemed very annoyed about my trying to diagnose her or

635
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,439
Speaker 5: make it into an issue. In my opinion, she was

636
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 5: trying to be cute and funny, and I was ruining

637
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 5: it with my concern for her well being.

638
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 6: That's a great way to go about it.

639
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 5: She told me that I was being very weird for

640
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 5: thinking it's a big deal and for googling it. I

641
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 5: said I was doing this because she's far too old

642
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,639
Speaker 5: to be talking like Yoda baby m. I then said

643
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:21,639
Speaker 5: that if it wasn't a reaction to anxiety, could she

644
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,199
Speaker 5: please stop because it annoys me a lot and I

645
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,399
Speaker 5: don't want to be annoyed when I hang out with her.

646
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 5: Full props to Reddit for my paraphrasing here. And we

647
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 5: have more stories just like this on our podcast platforms.

648
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:34,920
Speaker 5: Just search up okay story tom on Apple Spotify, where

649
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 5: we listen to podcasts, we got tons of.

650
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 3: Crazy stories just like this. Holy cow, what okay? So

651
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 3: she's getting at her mentally.

652
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 5: She's like, yeah, I feel like we're about to like

653
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 5: crack open the nut here.

654
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 3: Yeah.

655
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 6: I think that's a great way to do it, because

656
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 6: like like that one person suggested, like ask if it's

657
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 6: a kink. Yeah, Like it's going like the opposite way,

658
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 6: a little more PG way that you know. It's like,

659
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 6: so why are you doing this? What is mentally like

660
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 6: going on? Do you need help? Are you okay? You know,

661
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 6: because like because it's very possible that there is you know,

662
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 6: And so I think I think that could ruin the

663
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 6: fun for her. She's just like reacts in a very

664
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,480
Speaker 6: concerned way. Every every time she does that, She's just

665
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 6: like she's doing it again. That poor girl.

666
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:18,760
Speaker 5: How's your anxiety?

667
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 3: Yeah?

668
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 6: Do you need to be okay?

669
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 3: You are doing all right?

670
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 6: How have you been?

671
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 5: I could see her brain whirling as she tried to

672
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 5: calculate a reason to say no. But in the end,

673
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 5: my mom quietly interject with that's a reasonable request, isn't it?

674
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,959
Speaker 5: And Alana gave a hefty, defeated sigh and said fine.

675
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 3: Is that fine?

676
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 5: I said, thank you, and we swiftly move on.

677
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 1: Yay.

678
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 3: I'm hopeful that that's the end of it.

679
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 5: I am so glad I turned to write it for

680
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 5: this one, as all the advice worked perfectly, and I'm

681
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 5: going to try to keep it in mind with my

682
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 5: interactions with Alana going forward.

683
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 6: Wow, finally we got through to her. Oh my goodness,

684
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 6: Oh my goodness.

685
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 4: We're still going to do it behind closed doors?

686
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 6: You thinks so, I'm sure, But honestly, I like, if

687
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,239
Speaker 6: I knew someone like that, it's like, do it on

688
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 6: your own time. I can't be around you if you're

689
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 6: going to do that, I don't want to be in

690
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 6: childcare when I'm just hanging out with my sister. Didn't

691
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 6: sign up to babysit you.

692
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's it. Man.

693
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here.

694
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to the stories.

695
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

696
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 6: My brother's fiance keeps forcing herself to our family despite

697
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 6: our boundaries.

698
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're not supposed to show up with three fishes

699
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 5: at the family function.

700
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 3: We just want one. Okay, that's my boundary.

701
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 6: My female twenty five stepbrother, Nico twenty nine, has recently

702
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 6: got engaged to a woman called Jenny after dating for

703
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 6: two years. We all tried to welcome Jenny, especially knowing

704
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 6: that she grew up in the foster care system and

705
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 6: didn't have family. By the way, this comes from fs

706
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 6: in law on the r slash. Okay, story time is.

707
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 5: Separate and that's the only reason, because she just didn't

708
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 5: have another family.

709
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 3: We try to over her only.

710
00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:59,479
Speaker 6: We tried to get to know her, but she seemed

711
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 6: to want an instant intimate connection rather than building one.

712
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 6: Me and my younger stepsister, Chelsea twenty two, bore the

713
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 6: brunt of her neediness, but our parents have also expressed concerns.

714
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 6: Since she met us, she has been trying to insert

715
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 6: herself into pictures, family disputes, and social events. She has

716
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 6: no boundaries. We've all talked to Nico about it so

717
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 6: many times, even sitting him down as a family, and

718
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 6: he keeps saying he will talk to her, but nothing changes,

719
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 6: and it's gotten worse since the engagement. She tried to

720
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 6: make me her maid of honor, demanded my mother throw

721
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 6: her a bridal shower, started calling my parents mom and

722
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 6: Dad even though they asked her not to, and reached

723
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 6: out to distant family members that we don't even talk

724
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 6: to to tell them about the engagement.

725
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 4: Oh wow, that is a lot.

726
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 6: Last week, we were all Chelsea, Nico, me and our

727
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 6: partners staying at our parents' place. Jenny, Nico and my

728
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 6: boyfriend were the only ones not up yet, and the

729
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 6: rest of us were in the kitchen. Chelsea, my mom,

730
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 6: and I were talking about taking a weekend trip. Jenny

731
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 6: came in, having overheard us, saying it sounded like fun,

732
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 6: and proceeded to invite herself along. I was a pretty

733
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 6: annoyed by this and said she couldn't just invite herself.

734
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 6: Jenny said, why wouldn't she be invited, and I said,

735
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 6: because marry Nico doesn't give you a blanket invite to

736
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 6: every single thing all his family does. Dang, wow, this

737
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 6: is that's a little harsh. I think. Jenny got upset

738
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 6: and said that she would really like to be included

739
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 6: in our family since it was the only one she

740
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 6: knows and she doesn't have a proper family. I said,

741
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 6: I know that, and we all sympathize, but that doesn't

742
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 6: mean that we owe you a new one.

743
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 5: Dang, rough, I'm kind of gonna hand ope that you

744
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 5: don't really like this person.

745
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 4: Yeah.

746
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 6: I feel like when you're like welcomed into a family

747
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 6: like that, like as a significant other, like you kind

748
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 6: of are accepted as the family, especially if you're gonna

749
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 6: marry him too, Like yeah, in the family.

750
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:48,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, yep.

751
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 6: The whole room was silent, and Jenny got up and

752
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 6: went back upstairs. She didn't come out the rest of

753
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 6: the day, but Nico came down to chew me out

754
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 6: over what I said. Our parents defended me, saying he

755
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 6: had an opportunity to need to talk to Jenny and

756
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 6: he had it. He and Jenny left the same day,

757
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 6: and he's now only keeping low level contact with everyone.

758
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 3: Okay, I think too.

759
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 5: Earlier, whenever Jenny dunking on Jenny like Vince Carter, that

760
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:12,479
Speaker 5: is so funny.

761
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 3: Thank you for that. I know exactly what that means.

762
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 5: Whenever she was talking about like Jenny wanted an immediate

763
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 5: intimate relationship, she was probably like something simple like hey,

764
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 5: was probably scrabble together, right.

765
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 2: I know.

766
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 6: I was expecting her like coming into conversation and being like, so, like,

767
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 6: what problems did you guys have as a family growing up,

768
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:33,040
Speaker 6: Like did you guys have to go to therapy or something?

769
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 6: And you know, but she's just like trying to hang out.

770
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 6: Like I do get the like, you know, speaking to

771
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 6: relatives as she doesn't really know. That is a little weird.

772
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 3: But it's not that bad gay girl.

773
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 5: Just it's I don't know, it's just you're part of

774
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 5: the family. It's fine, Ya's fine, It's fine.

775
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 6: I do feel bad, but I also feel like Jenny

776
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 6: has been overstepping. We are all open to a relationship

777
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 6: with her, we all have good relationships with our partners

778
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 6: in the family, but she never really made a genuine

779
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 6: effort to build relationships with us. She just she was

780
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 6: entitled to them, which I think isn't fair.

781
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 5: Kat said this is because Angie said it was okay

782
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 5: to bully.

783
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 6: Sorry guys, Ah, yeah, it's my fault.

784
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:14,719
Speaker 3: My bad, My bad, guys, it's all your fault.

785
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 6: I don't know if I should reach out to Nico

786
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,439
Speaker 6: or Jenny with a more fervent apology, which I will

787
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 6: if I have really screwed up here. I don't want

788
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 6: to be the one. I don't want to be the

789
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,239
Speaker 6: reason Nico stops talking to us. I just feel like

790
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,359
Speaker 6: he dropped the ball by letting it get to this point.

791
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 2: Edit.

792
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 6: Okay, I'm adding this because I thought it was implied,

793
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 6: but maybe not. We do push back when Jenny is

794
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 6: being intrusive. I can't count how many times I've said, Jenny,

795
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 6: I'm not comfortable about talking about my spicy sleep life, therapy, medication,

796
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 6: et cetera. It's really personal. Can we just change the subjects.

797
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:44,240
Speaker 3: Oh, okay, okay.

798
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 6: That does change things. That does change things. Seems like

799
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 6: she is kind of invading the information a bit if.

800
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,880
Speaker 5: She's having us ask her multiple times to stop talking about.

801
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 6: That, yeah, and also asking about spies us leap live

802
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 6: to your but your brother like sys we're a long

803
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 6: like how much?

804
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,799
Speaker 5: The only the only way I would ever talk to

805
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 5: my brother about it is like, how much are you

806
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 5: doing in a week?

807
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 3: That's it?

808
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 4: What the hell that's it?

809
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 3: Or a month? Sorry Almont, he say, you want to.

810
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 4: Talk about how many times you're doing it? It would be

811
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:14,760
Speaker 4: like are you using protection?

812
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 5: I don't care if he's doing that. Oh my god,

813
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 5: I want nephews and nieces. I want nibblings, sue me.

814
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 6: We move on from the conversation, but the next time

815
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 6: I talked to her, it's back to square one. Say

816
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 6: with my parents, they politely ask her and not to

817
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 6: call them mom and dad, and she stops for the

818
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 6: duration of that conversation and then starts again. Next time.

819
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 6: We've never had a more in depth conversation with her,

820
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 6: We offered, and Nico said no, he would talk to her.

821
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,240
Speaker 6: Edit number two for everyone saying I should consider Jenny

822
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 6: family because she's engaged to Nico. That isn't what I

823
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 6: meant with that comment. I commented this elsewhere, but I'm

824
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 6: copying it because it encapsulates when I was trying to

825
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,919
Speaker 6: get across. I never said or meant that she isn't

826
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:52,719
Speaker 6: a part of the family. I guess what I meant

827
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:54,360
Speaker 6: with that. I guess what I meant with what I

828
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 6: said was you can't parash it yourself in and expect

829
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 6: us to be family you deserve, because the family every

830
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 6: person deserves is one with their mom and their dad,

831
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 6: and it's happy, and it's from birth, and you don't

832
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 6: have to do anything to earn it. Sadly, not everyone

833
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 6: gets that. I know I didn't, and I know how

834
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,359
Speaker 6: much it must suck for her to feel like she

835
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 6: has to work for what other people got for free.

836
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 6: I have a crappy bio dad, so I kind of know.

837
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,840
Speaker 6: You think, why do I have to be good and

838
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 6: clever and kind and a million other things to have

839
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 6: a good family, while all anyone else has to do

840
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 6: is just be born? And it's the worst. But when

841
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 6: you come into a family that already exists, that's the

842
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 6: way it is. They learn to love you, and it

843
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 6: takes time. My stepdad didn't love me the second he

844
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:36,439
Speaker 6: met me, or love me just because he loved my mom.

845
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 6: He got to know me and figured out who I

846
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,799
Speaker 6: was as a person, and he loved me for me.

847
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 6: We wanted to have that opportunity with Jenny, and maybe

848
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 6: that doesn't feel good enough for her, and I guess

849
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 6: it's not really fair that she doesn't have any other

850
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 6: kind of unconditional love. But I don't think that's up

851
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 6: to us or anyone to fix. That's just my view.

852
00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:55,919
Speaker 6: There's another update real quick.

853
00:36:56,239 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 5: Robin van Horne earlier said that Jenny maybe on the

854
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 5: spectrum because if she's not really it was like a

855
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,240
Speaker 5: while ago, key on, you're good. If she's not really

856
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 5: getting the hint not to talk about these certain subjects,

857
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 5: she might not like understand like I don't know, social cues. Yeah,

858
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 5: there might be a point. Yeah, maybe why she might

859
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 5: be acting a little bit not as warmly that OPI

860
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:19,399
Speaker 5: would lie.

861
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.

862
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 6: Seems like she's really trying, and I don't blame her

863
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:25,840
Speaker 6: for that, but she's just really is trying in like

864
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 6: the wrong ways. Yeah, you get to know these people.

865
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 6: But there is another updates. Wow, that post blew up

866
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,360
Speaker 6: in no small part to my extensive replies. While sitting

867
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 6: in an airport lounge on a layover, I am still

868
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 6: getting dms asking for an update, So here goes. First.

869
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:44,240
Speaker 6: Thanks everyone for your advice I received some really insightful

870
00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:47,160
Speaker 6: messages and comments which were really helpful in heartfelt. Long

871
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,320
Speaker 6: story short, we decided to have a session with a

872
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:53,200
Speaker 6: family mediator. Oh wow, it was me, my boyfriend, Jenny, Nico,

873
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 6: my parents, and Chelsea. I'm not sure if I can

874
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 6: fit in all the insights from the session, so I'll

875
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 6: keep to key things. Firstly, for all was wondering if

876
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 6: Nico ever actually told Jenny what we said. Nico talked

877
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 6: to Jenny about our concerns precisely twice and a third

878
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 6: of the times we brought it up, she said it

879
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 6: was presented to her as an offhand comment from our parents,

880
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,879
Speaker 6: rather than the intervention that it was. Second, basically, one

881
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 6: of the main things that came up was how Nico

882
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,840
Speaker 6: kind of sold our family to Jenny as a blended

883
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:23,880
Speaker 6: family she could slot into, and she got really invested

884
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 6: in that. Nico said that he kept hoping that it

885
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,399
Speaker 6: would work, that it would all work itself out once

886
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 6: Jenny felt more secure in their relationship. Then came the

887
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 6: real crux. Jenny said that she wasn't just looking for

888
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:37,440
Speaker 6: a relationship with Nico, but with a whole family, and

889
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 6: we all had a long discussion about what that looks

890
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 6: like for us in an ideal world, and it was

891
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 6: vastly different. Then the mediator asked her the question, if

892
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 6: you never get the relationships you want from this family,

893
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 6: do you think you'll still be able to have a

894
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 6: happy relationship. That's a good question, yeah, and she said

895
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 6: she didn't know.

896
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 4: Wow.

897
00:38:56,680 --> 00:39:00,800
Speaker 6: Interesting. Interesting, This kind of triggered Nico said he felt

898
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 6: like Jenny was making him feel like he wasn't enough

899
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:04,920
Speaker 6: on his own and that she wanted a family from

900
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,400
Speaker 6: him more than a relationship with you.

901
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 5: She probably does like the big support Nico has as

902
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,319
Speaker 5: a family. Yeah, and that's what she's attracted to.

903
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, like when you're in a relationship like

904
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 6: your family, like you, getting along with the family is

905
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 6: important and so you know, that's not like it shouldn't

906
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 6: be a factor, you know, if they don't like or

907
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:25,280
Speaker 6: something like that. And then it's like maybe it's yeah,

908
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 6: you know, but it sounds like she has some some

909
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 6: things to soar out on her own with her trauma

910
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 6: growing up in the foster care system, and maybe it

911
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 6: might not be the best time for a relationship yet. Yikes.

912
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 6: Then Jenny got upset and said, why couldn't we all

913
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,240
Speaker 6: just try to be the family she needed, which point

914
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:46,439
Speaker 6: my boyfriend had an uncharacteristic moment of insanity and went

915
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:50,120
Speaker 6: off on her. Then he and I left the room.

916
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 6: I was right in the middle of lecturing him when

917
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 6: everyone else came out except Niko and Jenny and said

918
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,120
Speaker 6: that they needed the rest of the session to discuss

919
00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 6: what had been said. By the way, you can more

920
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:04,400
Speaker 6: stories like this on any of your favorite podcasts, app Spotify,

921
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 6: Apple Podcasts, whatever you so choose. Just search Okay Storytime

922
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 6: and you'll have full episodes stories just like this.

923
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah, I just therapy.

924
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 5: I think everyone can agree to your therapy, and she

925
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 5: probably needs some more reflecting to.

926
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,400
Speaker 3: Do, right, because I'll be honest.

927
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 5: I know someone that got engaged seven weeks after they

928
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 5: started dating, and I know from a fact that the

929
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,319
Speaker 5: girl is in a broken family, and I think it's

930
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 5: like a savior complex that the guy is engaged to

931
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 5: her so he can get her out of it because

932
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,799
Speaker 5: his parents were in similar situations and they worked it

933
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 5: out because his dad saved the mom from a really

934
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 5: bad family situation.

935
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 3: So he's just doing what he's been seen.

936
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 6: Wow. Yeah, that's really interesting. It is, Yeah, because she

937
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 6: she was, you know, saying like, why can't we all

938
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 6: just be the family that like I need, you know,

939
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,520
Speaker 6: But it's like, but we don't know you that well,

940
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 6: you know, like we we can't just like be a

941
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 6: family because like you know, obviously, I'm sure that they

942
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 6: like have some love for her, because they you know,

943
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 6: love Nico, but but it just doesn't you just don't

944
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:10,760
Speaker 6: have that You can't just force that connection and just pretend.

945
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 6: But I mean, I guess, you know.

946
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 5: But she doesn't know what a relationship looks like because

947
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 5: like growing up it was the government.

948
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I guess, so like going from house to

949
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,399
Speaker 6: house probably, but there is a little bit more, so

950
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,839
Speaker 6: let's get on into it. Nico came back to our

951
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 6: parents place later and said that he and Jenny are

952
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 6: taking a beat because she's ruminating on what the mediator said,

953
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,840
Speaker 6: and he's pretty crushed that she might not want to

954
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:35,200
Speaker 6: be with him if he doesn't come with a ready

955
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:38,240
Speaker 6: made family attached. He said he was prepared to pretty

956
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 6: much give up a family for her, but she won't

957
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 6: even give up the idea of one for him. Man,

958
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:47,800
Speaker 6: He's now staying with my boyfriend and me until further notice.

959
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 6: We haven't had any further conversations with him and Jenny.

960
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,240
Speaker 6: He's not in the headspace for it. If they stay together,

961
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:55,560
Speaker 6: I foresee a lot more mediation. And at the end

962
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:57,840
Speaker 6: of the day, everyone on the thread was right in

963
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:00,040
Speaker 6: some way. I was an a hole for saying what

964
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:01,799
Speaker 6: I said in the way I said it, and this

965
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,920
Speaker 6: conversation between all of us should have happened earlier, and

966
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 6: that is the end of that story.

967
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:12,839
Speaker 4: Oh Man, good on op admitting like I was an ale.

968
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's nice. And I mean that shows

969
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 6: that there's possible progress too, if everyone can be self aware.

970
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 6: And it's good that they talk to a mediators so

971
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 6: they're looking for some help. That's that's good.

972
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:26,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good.

973
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,839
Speaker 5: I offer to help my spoiled sister. Now the other

974
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 5: one is mad at me.

975
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 6: You can't have favoritism.

976
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:38,360
Speaker 2: We passed.

977
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:43,920
Speaker 5: Sorry sorry now, I twenty six am the older brother

978
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,440
Speaker 5: of two sisters, Maya nineteen and Tia twenty one. Our

979
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 5: parents are complete a holes. Maya was their golden child

980
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 5: and honestly a complete and utter spoiled b b or itch.

981
00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 3: B or do I say itch itch?

982
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:01,359
Speaker 6: I don't know either.

983
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 5: Chat what you like out of respect. I'll say b

984
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 5: for Sofia. I get that's harsh to say about a kid,

985
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 5: but she was by the way, this comes from Throwaway

986
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 5: eighty on the r slash Okay story time, so I

987
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 5: brought it. She got special treatment and would always get

988
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:19,240
Speaker 5: away with everything. Our parents basically encouraged it, despite basically

989
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 5: leaving me to raise my sisters so they could go

990
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 5: enjoy themselves. When I was eighteen, Tiya was thirteen, Amaya

991
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:28,960
Speaker 5: was eleven, I moved out. I stayed in contact with Tiya,

992
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 5: though I quickly gave up on trying to connect with Maya. Honestly,

993
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:36,879
Speaker 5: our parents and Maya were absolutely horrible to Tinya while

994
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,319
Speaker 5: I was gone. So when she was eighteen, Tia moved

995
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 5: out and she stayed with me. I've made her get

996
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,360
Speaker 5: some therapy and done my best to be a good brother,

997
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 5: and she's managed to be a lot happier since. Though

998
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 5: after that, I basically didn't see our parents or Maya. However,

999
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 5: last November, Maya randomly reached.

1000
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:53,879
Speaker 3: Out to us.

1001
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 5: Tya just ignored it. But Maya is still my little sister,

1002
00:43:57,080 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 5: so I gave her a chance. In the time without us,

1003
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 5: she really missed us and realized how spoiled and cruel

1004
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 5: she was.

1005
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, progress question mark, are.

1006
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 3: We about to here?

1007
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:10,279
Speaker 6: I don't know.

1008
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,279
Speaker 3: Are we I don't know. Let's see, I don't know.

1009
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:17,279
Speaker 3: I don't know. Maybe I am doubtful, but she did.

1010
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:20,760
Speaker 5: The first step of progressing as a person is emitting

1011
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:22,000
Speaker 5: your wrongs exactly.

1012
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 6: First step is awareness.

1013
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 5: Apparently, part of how she treated Tia was jealousy of

1014
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 5: how I was so close with her but not Maya,

1015
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:32,880
Speaker 5: though it obviously doesn't justify it. She had felt guilty

1016
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 5: for a while but was scared to reach out in

1017
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 5: case we'd reject her. She felt really sincere and was

1018
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 5: really apologetic and seemed ashamed. I forgave her and we

1019
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,880
Speaker 5: started talking a lot. I became close to Maya really quickly.

1020
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,720
Speaker 5: We get along great now, and we're actually pretty similar.

1021
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 3: Or is she mirroring ooh.

1022
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:54,480
Speaker 5: Interesting, Yeah, someone read a therapy book.

1023
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 3: We got some new terms.

1024
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, don't look at me like that.

1025
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 5: Unfortunately, Tia refuses to forgive her or even respond. I

1026
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 5: think she's being a little unfair, but I understand how

1027
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 5: she feels. From talking, I noticed that Maya seems to

1028
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,840
Speaker 5: be having a hard time at home. She wasn't going

1029
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 5: to say anything, but ended up spilling when I pressed

1030
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 5: on her. Our parents basically turned on her the moment

1031
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 5: we left. She wasn't the gold child anymore and had

1032
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:20,800
Speaker 5: to suffer from our parents bs. Honestly, I'm ashamed to admit,

1033
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 5: but I never considered how our parents would treat her

1034
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 5: with us gone. With how horrible our parents are, I

1035
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 5: wanted to ask her to move in with me.

1036
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 4: Now.

1037
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,120
Speaker 5: I want to make it clear I'm the renter. The

1038
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:33,319
Speaker 5: rental agreement and bills and everything are all under my

1039
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 5: name to your contributes. But since she's still in university,

1040
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 5: my little sister is much less and unofficial. When I

1041
00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 5: brought up the idea, Tia was furious. She rejected it.

1042
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 5: I tried to compromise and talk, but it went nowhere.

1043
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 5: So in the end I told Tia I'm offering and

1044
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:51,440
Speaker 5: that she can be civil or I can help her

1045
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 5: move somewhere else. Maya accepted coming to stay next week,

1046
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:58,319
Speaker 5: and Tia is pissed and feels I'm choosing the golden.

1047
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 3: Child over her. Hmm, yeah, I could see that.

1048
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 5: I can see that because time time again, TIA's you

1049
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:08,799
Speaker 5: know whatever Tya wanted was dismissed over and over and

1050
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 5: over right.

1051
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,200
Speaker 3: Right, Two things here.

1052
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:15,799
Speaker 5: One, I feel like Tia needs an apology for Maya,

1053
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:17,479
Speaker 5: or at least get on the same page like OPI

1054
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:21,880
Speaker 5: did with Maya. Two playing a little game here? Oo

1055
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:23,759
Speaker 5: is she trying to get in so she can what?

1056
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:26,600
Speaker 5: What's the bird that like plants her baby egg into

1057
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 5: the nest of the other ones and then pushes out

1058
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 5: the other babies.

1059
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 3: That's a thing that.

1060
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:32,080
Speaker 4: I think a couple birds do that.

1061
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think conversations always help, right, Yeah, talking about

1062
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 6: it somehow, trying to come up with like a solution

1063
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 6: altogether that everyone would be happy about. That's always like

1064
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 6: a great option. But I don't know. It's just a

1065
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 6: tough situation.

1066
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 3: But I'm not.

1067
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,359
Speaker 5: Maya is suffering and I want to help. She's a

1068
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 5: different person now, understand Tea is her and I get

1069
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 5: her anger, But Maya also needs me Right now, Tiya

1070
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:55,920
Speaker 5: is angry and our friends think it was an a

1071
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 5: whole move. But Maya is my sister, and I don't

1072
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 5: think it's wrong to help her. I helped Tina back

1073
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 5: then too.

1074
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 3: Edit.

1075
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:05,440
Speaker 5: I went to sleep with post stopping and didn't expect

1076
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:06,399
Speaker 5: to wake up to all this.

1077
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 3: There were so.

1078
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,240
Speaker 5: Many so I wasn't sure how to respond to everyone,

1079
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:11,239
Speaker 5: so I just left it read and thought through it

1080
00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:13,000
Speaker 5: a while. Here are a few things that clear up.

1081
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 5: Maya isn't lying about this. I know my parents, and

1082
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:18,320
Speaker 5: Maya didn't even want to tell me about her issues

1083
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:21,000
Speaker 5: at home. There is basically no chance at all. There

1084
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:23,879
Speaker 5: is basically no chance it's a lie. And she has

1085
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:27,720
Speaker 5: tried and tried to talk to and apologize to Tia.

1086
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,719
Speaker 5: Tia just won't let her. I know what she did

1087
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:34,280
Speaker 5: in the past was horrible, but she isn't just manipulating

1088
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 5: me to hurt Tia. Maya generally hated how she was

1089
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:40,720
Speaker 5: and just wants to live somewhere else and be safe,

1090
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:43,400
Speaker 5: happy and love. I get it wasn't enough, but the

1091
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:47,919
Speaker 5: timeline was admittedly poorly written. We started discussing it last month.

1092
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,520
Speaker 5: She knew this decision for a couple of weeks. While

1093
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:54,640
Speaker 5: I now see it as misguided and cruel, it wasn't

1094
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 5: just a week. I don't know if it's appropriate to

1095
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 5: go into depth, but Maya's acts against Tea were verbal

1096
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 5: and psychological. It was disgusting, and I don't know how

1097
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:08,400
Speaker 5: deeply it hurt Tia. Our parents were mostly really neglectful,

1098
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 5: aside from verbal slash emotional abuse and rewarding Maya for

1099
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 5: being the golden child, being perfect and cruel meant she

1100
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:17,839
Speaker 5: would get their love, which neither of us did. Thanks

1101
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 5: for everyone for those perspectives. I didn't realize how naive

1102
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,120
Speaker 5: I was being and thinking this would work out. I'm

1103
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 5: going to try to see if friends can take Maya

1104
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,400
Speaker 5: in for now, and maybe if she can get her

1105
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 5: own place. I'm going to try to be there for

1106
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:32,279
Speaker 5: them and ask TiO to forgive me for being so

1107
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:35,239
Speaker 5: short sighted and stupid. I hope it can eventually work

1108
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:37,880
Speaker 5: things out, but like people are saying, it might just

1109
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 5: be a stupid pipe dream. I think the best plan

1110
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:43,880
Speaker 5: is to help get Maya a cheap flat or something nearby.

1111
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 5: I'll help out where she needs it.

1112
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:46,160
Speaker 3: Update.

1113
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 5: I want to see how this turns out after Op

1114
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 5: denies Maya staying in their house. I just want to

1115
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:54,280
Speaker 5: know what happens. Will she freak out and be weird

1116
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 5: or will all be okay because she's going to a

1117
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:57,360
Speaker 5: different place.

1118
00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 6: Right right because she's had like a change in character,

1119
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 6: do you think that would make her just kind of

1120
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 6: undo all of that work and just kind of like

1121
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 6: go back. But that's hard because I mean I do understand, like,

1122
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 6: you know, TIA's feelings with having like, uh, that kind

1123
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:13,520
Speaker 6: that resentment towards them and then the whole situation, you know,

1124
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 6: like that that's not really something that would be easy

1125
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:19,400
Speaker 6: to see. You know, if someone treats you poorly, you

1126
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,840
Speaker 6: don't want to see them succeed.

1127
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:25,840
Speaker 5: Really, just yeah, jealous? Does they need family therapy? Do

1128
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 5: you think that would work?

1129
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 6: It's worth a shot, honestly, because I mean, you know,

1130
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 6: if they had a rough childhood and they had rough parents,

1131
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,759
Speaker 6: then they definitely weren't taught well maybe not definitely, but

1132
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 6: they most likely you know, didn't learn very good like

1133
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 6: emotional skills and like coping skills for that stuff and communication,

1134
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:43,920
Speaker 6: you know, So that would make sense that a lot

1135
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:46,320
Speaker 6: of this stuff is still built up and that resentment

1136
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:50,239
Speaker 6: is still like held pretty firmly, you know. Yeah, So

1137
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:52,439
Speaker 6: I think some kind of therapy would help, whether it's

1138
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:55,360
Speaker 6: you know, single, one on one or if it's family.

1139
00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:57,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, I agree. Yea.

1140
00:49:57,440 --> 00:49:59,919
Speaker 5: I posted this last year trying to help my gold

1141
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 5: child's sister Maya at the expense of my other sister, Tia.

1142
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:05,959
Speaker 5: I didn't expect so many responses or the hate I got, though,

1143
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,439
Speaker 5: I realized how badly I fed up. While I still

1144
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 5: think how people wrote about Maya was disgusting and unfair.

1145
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:14,440
Speaker 5: How I treated Toa it was cruel and ignorant. I

1146
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:16,759
Speaker 5: was trying to help everyone and be practical, but I

1147
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 5: neglected it to properly consider the emotional side, while unintentionally

1148
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:25,160
Speaker 5: I was just ignoring TIA's pain and trauma. The responses

1149
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:27,560
Speaker 5: were a wake up call and I realized I was

1150
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:30,279
Speaker 5: going to ruin everything. Well, it wasn't meant that way.

1151
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:32,840
Speaker 5: It would just hurt Tia and ruin our relationship. I

1152
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,720
Speaker 5: managed to convince some of friends to let Maya stay

1153
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:38,359
Speaker 5: with them and look for a place. Currently, Tiya still

1154
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,440
Speaker 5: lives with me, while I found a cheap one bedroom

1155
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:42,840
Speaker 5: for Maya. It's been rough financially, but I managed to

1156
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:46,399
Speaker 5: get everything my sisters need. A few sacrifices don't matter

1157
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:50,080
Speaker 5: compared to them. Maya helped adjusting and learning to be independent,

1158
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,759
Speaker 5: so I didn't have to focus on her initially, but

1159
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:56,239
Speaker 5: Tia absolutely hated me for giving her any attention and

1160
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:59,360
Speaker 5: it was extremely difficult at first, but It got a

1161
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:02,480
Speaker 5: lot better as Maya adjusted and grew more independent and

1162
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 5: I could balance my time better. It was not perfect,

1163
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 5: but we've gotten into rhythm the best way we can.

1164
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 5: Maya has growne up a lot and can mostly live

1165
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:13,359
Speaker 5: by herself now, though I obviously still help. Therapy has

1166
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:16,319
Speaker 5: really helped her. She's made a lot of friends at university.

1167
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 6: All right, that's great.

1168
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:20,040
Speaker 3: I love these updates.

1169
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:20,760
Speaker 6: We love therapy.

1170
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 3: Ah, yes, yes.

1171
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:27,480
Speaker 5: While she still wants TIA's forgiveness, she's accepted it's not

1172
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:30,240
Speaker 5: her control and try not to focus on her living

1173
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:34,240
Speaker 5: and try and has focused on her living and improving herself.

1174
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 3: Really happy.

1175
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:38,319
Speaker 5: She's free of our parents' influence. She's nothing like she

1176
00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 5: used to be, though I do wish I had tried

1177
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:43,280
Speaker 5: harder when she was younger, rather than giving up. Tia

1178
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:46,440
Speaker 5: isn't completely happy. I don't think she'll ever forgive Maya,

1179
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:48,239
Speaker 5: and I've done my best to make it clear. I

1180
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:51,360
Speaker 5: love her and Maya isn't my favorite, but it's been hard.

1181
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,840
Speaker 5: We get joint therapy that helps a lot, but she

1182
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 5: still wishes it was just us. She still she's finally

1183
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:01,319
Speaker 5: able to understand that helping Maya isn't rejecting her. I'm

1184
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:04,279
Speaker 5: so thankful and lucky Tiya could forgive me. She means

1185
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 5: the world to me. I never intended to hurt her,

1186
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:10,280
Speaker 5: though I clearly completely fed up my approach. We basically

1187
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:13,280
Speaker 5: just avoid Maya. We basically just avoid the Maya situation

1188
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:15,799
Speaker 5: and have managed to get back to normal. She's such

1189
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 5: a strong woman. I'm honestly so proud of her and

1190
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 5: so ashamed of how short sighted I was. And you

1191
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:23,359
Speaker 5: don't have to be short sighted because you can listen

1192
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,720
Speaker 5: to stories just like this on your favorite podcast platform.

1193
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,280
Speaker 5: Just search up Okay, Storytime wherever you get your podcasts,

1194
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 5: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever.

1195
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 3: Look it up. We have plenty of stories. Yeah, dude,

1196
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:34,319
Speaker 3: therapy is great.

1197
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 5: Yes, I just I know everyone's kind of weird about forgiveness,

1198
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:40,759
Speaker 5: But I hope that, like I don't know what Maya

1199
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,880
Speaker 5: did to Tea, but I hope that one day Tia

1200
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:46,799
Speaker 5: can like maybe not be friends with her, but just

1201
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 5: like just forgive Maya. They don't have to talk, they

1202
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:51,760
Speaker 5: don't have to be buddies, that she can just forgive

1203
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:54,000
Speaker 5: her and just so she doesn't have this weight on her.

1204
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:55,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hope that.

1205
00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:56,840
Speaker 4: One dya get rid of all the hate and the

1206
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 4: anger and just let it go.

1207
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 3: Yeah it is.

1208
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:02,800
Speaker 5: I mean, I don't know what happened, but dang, but Tia,

1209
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:04,919
Speaker 5: I'm just glad the sisters are out of the house.

1210
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:05,640
Speaker 3: I think that's it.

1211
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:09,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's that's good. And therapy is always great too.

1212
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 6: I love the therapy updates.

1213
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, me too too.

1214
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 6: It's such like a sigh of relief because it's like, oh, yeah,

1215
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:17,759
Speaker 6: Greddie could only do so much, you know.

1216
00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:18,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1217
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:21,399
Speaker 5: As selfish as it is, a part of me will

1218
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:24,040
Speaker 5: always wish Tia could forgive her, but I know that's

1219
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:27,200
Speaker 5: impossible and selfish. I don't think Tia will ever fully

1220
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:29,200
Speaker 5: accept that Maya is a part of my life. The

1221
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 5: most I'll get is Tiya and Maya being in one

1222
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:35,040
Speaker 5: building or my wedding. But honestly, that's enough for me.

1223
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 5: There both victims of our parents, and I'm just glad

1224
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:39,560
Speaker 5: they can both be happy and free. Well, it's not

1225
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 5: a fairy tale ending. Everything is going well and I'm

1226
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:44,759
Speaker 5: glad I can. I posted and I was able to

1227
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 5: fix my horrible mistake.

1228
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 6: That's good.

1229
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:49,240
Speaker 3: That's good, and that's it.

1230
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:53,919
Speaker 5: No more there wow wow, yeah, no, that is incredible. Dude,

1231
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:55,759
Speaker 5: good for you. I mean you you sacrificed a lot

1232
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 5: to get your sisters out of there. In absolutely good

1233
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 5: for you, man, that's amazing.

1234
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's a lot of weight to put on yourself too,

1235
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 6: So like, yeah, you know, have some forgiveness with yourself

1236
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:09,120
Speaker 6: of like you know, making mistakes here and there, because

1237
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:11,920
Speaker 6: like you're a victim of the parents too, right, like

1238
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:16,560
Speaker 6: you know you're not You're not their parents. So but yeah, good,

1239
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 6: good on EUOPI. I think you handled that really well.

1240
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:20,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, really well.

1241
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:24,000
Speaker 6: You you saw your mistakes, you apologize for them and

1242
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:27,239
Speaker 6: worked through it, and you're doing everything that you can.

1243
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,120
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1244
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:32,160
Speaker 1: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors

1245
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:33,040
Speaker 1: that keep the show going.

1246
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:38,760
Speaker 2: My fiance's daughter accused me of marrying for financial motives.

1247
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:42,000
Speaker 2: Now I don't care if she skips our wedding, all

1248
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:44,799
Speaker 2: the money is gone. Yeah, first time poster, but I

1249
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 2: want to know if I'm the a hole. This might

1250
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:50,040
Speaker 2: be long. I apologize. I thirty five female and my

1251
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 2: forty seven male fiance have been together for going on

1252
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:55,879
Speaker 2: five years. He proposed a little over a year ago

1253
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:58,799
Speaker 2: and we've been planning ever since. By the way, this

1254
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:01,840
Speaker 2: comes from user Pruction South six sixty nine, and you

1255
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:05,000
Speaker 2: can submit your story to the r slash Showkay Storytime.

1256
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:08,439
Speaker 2: Subreadit a little background. I have two children, thirteen male

1257
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:11,799
Speaker 2: and ten female from a previous relationship. My fiance has

1258
00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:14,880
Speaker 2: two children as well. P twenty five female and a

1259
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,880
Speaker 2: twenty eight female. We're gonna make that Priscilla and Aubrey,

1260
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:22,680
Speaker 2: which I was incredibly close with both. My fiance has

1261
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 2: stepped up to help me raise my children in the

1262
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 2: best way possible. Their dad is active in their lives,

1263
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:29,600
Speaker 2: and I pay their way for everything in our house.

1264
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:32,200
Speaker 2: My fiance makes double what I do, so we worked

1265
00:55:32,239 --> 00:55:34,480
Speaker 2: out a system in the house with bills and such.

1266
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 2: I've never asked him to pay for anything for my

1267
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:39,719
Speaker 2: children or myself and have always been self sufficient. My

1268
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:43,560
Speaker 2: fiance is a wonderful man. We don't fight or argue

1269
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 2: and have an amazing relationship. We laugh, enjoy each other,

1270
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:49,640
Speaker 2: and are genuinely happy. His daughters were very active with

1271
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:52,200
Speaker 2: helping me plan the wedding. They were both supposed to

1272
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 2: be bride'smaids. I bought them each little gifts to ask them,

1273
00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:59,279
Speaker 2: and the gifts mirrored their interests. Daughter Aubrey has four

1274
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:02,000
Speaker 2: children to three different men, with one on the way.

1275
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:04,560
Speaker 2: We're all very active in the children's lives and I

1276
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 2: love them as my own. Her and I were the

1277
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,439
Speaker 2: closest out of the two, and now I'm seeing that

1278
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:13,280
Speaker 2: she was just using me to take her demon seeds

1279
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:16,600
Speaker 2: off her hands and used my love for them to

1280
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 2: use me. My bridal shower was three weeks ago. His

1281
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:24,080
Speaker 2: daughters were supposed to come, and only Priscilla showed up.

1282
00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:26,960
Speaker 2: I figured Aubrey wasn't feeling good with the pregnancy and

1283
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:30,400
Speaker 2: couldn't make it. I asked Priscilla where Aubrey was, and

1284
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 2: she got quiet. Priscilla proceeded to tell me that Aubrey

1285
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:35,799
Speaker 2: doesn't believe her father is happy and wants me to

1286
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:38,759
Speaker 2: get a prenup. I was shocked. Her father has a

1287
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 2: good job but doesn't make enough to warrn a prenup,

1288
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:44,319
Speaker 2: but if my fiance would ask, I would gladly sign it,

1289
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:48,240
Speaker 2: since I've never relied on anyone for anything. I laughed

1290
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:51,360
Speaker 2: it off, and Priscilla apologized and told me she knows

1291
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 2: her dad is happy, and everyone in their family likes

1292
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:56,520
Speaker 2: me because they've never seen him this happy. I told

1293
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:58,799
Speaker 2: her I loved her and I appreciated her coming and

1294
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:01,000
Speaker 2: figured I would deal with it later. We all had

1295
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:03,719
Speaker 2: a great time and just enjoyed the day. I completely

1296
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:06,520
Speaker 2: popped the prenup thought out of my mind and focused

1297
00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:09,200
Speaker 2: on planning the wedding, my full time job, my children,

1298
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:13,360
Speaker 2: daughter Priscilla, and my fiance. Fast forward to this week.

1299
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:17,080
Speaker 2: I have reached out to Aubrey numerous times with no response.

1300
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 2: Same as her father, I'm not someone who lets people

1301
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 2: walk all over me, and I'm a lot worse when

1302
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:26,320
Speaker 2: someone tries to walk all over my sweeter than sweet fiance.

1303
00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:29,120
Speaker 2: So I decided to drop by her apartment to have

1304
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 2: a conversation with her after work one day. She doesn't work,

1305
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 2: so I knew she would be home. I knocked and

1306
00:57:34,640 --> 00:57:36,680
Speaker 2: she came to the door and asked what I wanted.

1307
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 2: I asked her if we could have a conversation, and

1308
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:43,160
Speaker 2: she locked the screen door to protect herself. I would

1309
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 2: never harm my fiance's daughters, his grandchildren, or anyone else

1310
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 2: for that matter, so I was kind of blown away.

1311
00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 2: I asked her what I could do to fix our

1312
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:53,720
Speaker 2: relationship and what I did wrong. I kept getting different answers,

1313
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:56,040
Speaker 2: and none of them sounded like an issue to me,

1314
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:58,680
Speaker 2: but they might have been to her, so I just listened.

1315
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:00,960
Speaker 2: She told me she thinks her dad's laugh is fake

1316
00:58:01,040 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 2: with me, and he's pretending he's happy, among other things.

1317
00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 2: Then finally a little truth came out after the back

1318
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:10,400
Speaker 2: and forth. She told me that she didn't want me

1319
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 2: to live in the house her dad owns if something

1320
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:15,600
Speaker 2: happens to him and it should go to her. Then

1321
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 2: she decided to tell me the only reason she talked

1322
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 2: to me was because I would watch her demon seeds

1323
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 2: at the drop of a dime when she didn't feel

1324
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:25,919
Speaker 2: like dealing with them. I told her I could give

1325
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:28,920
Speaker 2: a crap about the house, and I wasn't with her

1326
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 2: father for his house. She told me that she didn't

1327
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:33,720
Speaker 2: want me on his life insurance policy either.

1328
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:34,960
Speaker 3: Here's the kicker with this.

1329
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:37,360
Speaker 2: My fiance has a good job, but I work for

1330
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:40,000
Speaker 2: the office of our state officials. I have a life

1331
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:43,480
Speaker 2: insurance policy worth two hundred and fifty K, which one

1332
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 2: hundred and seventy five goes to my children. He has

1333
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 2: one for fifty K, which goes to his kids. I

1334
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 2: don't care about anything he has. We've worked out the

1335
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 2: details of our finances and our living wills when we

1336
00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 2: got engaged. His house is paid off, our vehicles are

1337
00:58:57,480 --> 00:58:59,680
Speaker 2: paid off. I bought and paid for mine car myself.

1338
00:58:59,880 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 2: We have no debt. I sold my house that I

1339
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,240
Speaker 2: bought and paid for and moved in with him, which

1340
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:07,520
Speaker 2: we are planning on investing that into property. She knows

1341
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:10,080
Speaker 2: none of this because it's none of her business. But

1342
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:12,320
Speaker 2: the fact is neither of us are stupid with our

1343
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:15,960
Speaker 2: money or finances, so I don't need his finances to survive.

1344
00:59:16,080 --> 00:59:17,960
Speaker 2: I told her I was a single mom for six

1345
00:59:18,040 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 2: years and had everything I did from working two jobs,

1346
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:24,440
Speaker 2: and I'm not with him for any financial gain whatsoever.

1347
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 2: She told me she would not be attending our wedding.

1348
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:29,240
Speaker 2: She didn't want anything to do with me. I came

1349
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:31,720
Speaker 2: home and told my fiance and he seems upset, but

1350
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:33,920
Speaker 2: not surprised. We're a month and a half away from

1351
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:36,200
Speaker 2: the wedding and I'm not worrying about her not coming

1352
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:38,880
Speaker 2: or fixing whatever issue she has with me. Am I

1353
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 2: the ahole clarification. Just want to clarify a few things quickly.

1354
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 2: My fiance and Aubrey had a strange relationship before I

1355
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:47,919
Speaker 2: came along. She had stolen fifteen hundred dollars from him

1356
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:50,240
Speaker 2: and also opened an electric bill in his name and

1357
00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:52,320
Speaker 2: ran it up to three K. He noticed it on

1358
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:54,760
Speaker 2: his credit report when he bought a new motorcycle again.

1359
00:59:54,840 --> 00:59:57,840
Speaker 2: Way before me, I was financially helping her with the kids,

1360
00:59:57,960 --> 00:59:59,840
Speaker 2: as she is now a single mom again a long

1361
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:03,000
Speaker 2: with her maternal grandmother and her own mother as well.

1362
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:05,920
Speaker 2: Priscilla has been paying her car payment for her recently.

1363
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:08,800
Speaker 2: Aubrey lives in low income housing so she has no rent,

1364
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 2: and I also live in a state that they pay

1365
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:13,640
Speaker 2: you to live there. I help them mend their relationship,

1366
01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:16,120
Speaker 2: which was a task because I invited her to holidays

1367
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:18,760
Speaker 2: and special occasions which she refused to come to for

1368
01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:20,560
Speaker 2: the first year her dad and I were together. Her

1369
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:23,040
Speaker 2: dad finally started reaching out to her and she decided

1370
01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 2: to come around. I have rental properties, as does he.

1371
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:28,720
Speaker 2: They are separately owned. He has six and I have two.

1372
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 2: The new properties we're investing in will be in both

1373
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:34,000
Speaker 2: of our names, which the girls are set to inherit.

1374
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:36,640
Speaker 2: The six he has and my children are set to inherit.

1375
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:38,880
Speaker 2: The two I have. The ones we own together will

1376
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:42,080
Speaker 2: be split between all four kids when I pass. The

1377
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:44,680
Speaker 2: girls are aware of this. They are also aware that

1378
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:47,400
Speaker 2: when something happens to their father, we have an agreement

1379
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:50,040
Speaker 2: that I stay here if I choose to. I don't

1380
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:52,520
Speaker 2: even know if I will want to live here without him.

1381
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:55,760
Speaker 2: I can't sell it and it will be left to Priscilla.

1382
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:59,200
Speaker 2: Thanks everyone for the kind words. My fiance is going

1383
01:00:59,200 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 2: to talk with her to tomorrow while I'm out of

1384
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:04,400
Speaker 2: town on a girl's trip. I will update everyone Sunday

1385
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:07,760
Speaker 2: when I'm home and we have the update right now.

1386
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:08,600
Speaker 4: Let's get into it.

1387
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:11,280
Speaker 2: Let's dive in. I don't know if I'm doing this correctly.

1388
01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:13,160
Speaker 2: You are. I read that this is how you do it.

1389
01:01:13,320 --> 01:01:15,720
Speaker 2: You did so. If I'm doing it incorrectly, you're not.

1390
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:19,200
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. It's okay, I'm sorry. I told everyone I

1391
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:21,560
Speaker 2: would update them on Sunday, but after my girl's trip,

1392
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:24,600
Speaker 2: I was feeling pretty tough. My fiance was going to

1393
01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:27,680
Speaker 2: speak to Aubrey on Saturday while I was gone. We

1394
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 2: spoke about the boundaries I have said in place, which

1395
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:33,280
Speaker 2: he supports. I told him that I know him and

1396
01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:36,200
Speaker 2: Aubrey have been in no contact before because of the

1397
01:01:36,240 --> 01:01:38,440
Speaker 2: money that she stole, but I never wanted to be

1398
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:42,040
Speaker 2: the reason they are no contact, and he agreed. Now,

1399
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:45,320
Speaker 2: before I tell you about the conversation, I have to

1400
01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:48,560
Speaker 2: give you some context. Em was in a very toxic

1401
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:52,080
Speaker 2: relationship for ten years and they split a little over

1402
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:54,720
Speaker 2: two years before he met me. The ex tried to

1403
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 2: contact him for two years into our relationship, with my

1404
01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:01,960
Speaker 2: fiance changing his number, putting up cameras around our house,

1405
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:06,040
Speaker 2: and the last straw was getting a restraining order. Somehow

1406
01:02:06,080 --> 01:02:08,920
Speaker 2: the X would get his new number and contact him

1407
01:02:08,920 --> 01:02:11,600
Speaker 2: prior to him getting a PFA, and we could never

1408
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:15,720
Speaker 2: figure out how she hasn't contacted him since the PFA,

1409
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:18,600
Speaker 2: in it has been quiet. Another thing to note is

1410
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:21,400
Speaker 2: that my fiance is six' five and weighs two hundred

1411
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:23,600
Speaker 2: and forty. Pounds he's fit and takes really good care of.

1412
01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:26,720
Speaker 2: Himself i'm five nine and weigh two hundred pounds and amn.

1413
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:29,200
Speaker 2: Chubby this has never come up in our, relationship and

1414
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:31,800
Speaker 2: my fiance has made sure THAT i know he loves

1415
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:34,800
Speaker 2: every part of. Me he always has dated, short skinny.

1416
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:36,920
Speaker 2: Bonds i'm sure it came as a shock when he

1417
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:39,240
Speaker 2: got with a, chubby tall, redhead but the way he

1418
01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:43,080
Speaker 2: loves me is never in question now the, Conversation aubrey

1419
01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:46,160
Speaker 2: told my fiance that she BELIEVES i have put a

1420
01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:49,800
Speaker 2: spell on him because he's never dated someone so huge. Before,

1421
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:52,080
Speaker 2: oh so she's fat. Phobic, dang she.

1422
01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:55,040
Speaker 4: Sucks she's body, shaming, yes and that's not.

1423
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:58,280
Speaker 2: Good so this was her reasoning for mentioning she wants

1424
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:00,320
Speaker 2: me to get a. Prenup she then told him that

1425
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:02,840
Speaker 2: she has been in contact with his ex throughout our

1426
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:05,200
Speaker 2: entire relationship and has been trying to get him and

1427
01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:09,240
Speaker 2: his ex back together because she fits his body. Type, yo.

1428
01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:11,280
Speaker 4: You're out of.

1429
01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:13,880
Speaker 2: Here why do you care so much who your dad's.

1430
01:03:13,960 --> 01:03:17,120
Speaker 2: Dating priscilla has told me how awful her dad's last

1431
01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:20,640
Speaker 2: relationship was and how her and him decided to go

1432
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 2: to therapy together once it was, over which my fiance

1433
01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:26,400
Speaker 2: had already told me about the relationship and the. Therapy

1434
01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:28,840
Speaker 2: BUT i always Let priscilla vent to me about whatever

1435
01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:31,200
Speaker 2: she needed, to and most days it was about THE

1436
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:34,280
Speaker 2: x and how bad And aubrey hated. Her priscilla was

1437
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:36,240
Speaker 2: so upset to find out That aubrey had been in

1438
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:38,840
Speaker 2: contact with THE x and that she gave THE x

1439
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:41,720
Speaker 2: all of the new Numbers priscilla and my fiance tried

1440
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:45,480
Speaker 2: to reason With aubrey and explained how shallow she. Sounds

1441
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:48,360
Speaker 2: With aubrey kicking them both out of her, apartment my

1442
01:03:48,400 --> 01:03:51,080
Speaker 2: fiance was devastated that anyone would look at my weight

1443
01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:53,760
Speaker 2: and consider me huge and not look at how wonderful

1444
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:55,600
Speaker 2: of a PERSON i. Am those are his, words not.

1445
01:03:55,680 --> 01:03:58,760
Speaker 2: Mine priscilla and fiance both decided to Cut aubrey. Off

1446
01:03:58,800 --> 01:04:01,280
Speaker 2: priscilla is no longer makee payments on her, vehicle and

1447
01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:03,120
Speaker 2: my soon to be mother in law has cut ties

1448
01:04:03,160 --> 01:04:05,160
Speaker 2: with her as. Well the DAYS i didn't have the,

1449
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:08,000
Speaker 2: kids my fiance's mother. Did priscilla called me about forty

1450
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,880
Speaker 2: minutes ago to tell me THAT cps is At aubrey's

1451
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:14,080
Speaker 2: because the neighbor called them on. Her the neighbor Called

1452
01:04:14,320 --> 01:04:16,360
Speaker 2: priscilla to tell her that she was worried for the

1453
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:19,280
Speaker 2: kids safety and felt obligated to. Call my fiance has

1454
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 2: contacted the fathers and told them they have our support

1455
01:04:21,720 --> 01:04:24,560
Speaker 2: with whatever they decide to. DO i also talked to

1456
01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:28,040
Speaker 2: fiance about maybe taking the kids if the fathers decide

1457
01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:30,240
Speaker 2: they don't want, them and he. Agreed and by the,

1458
01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:33,280
Speaker 2: WAY i agree that you can listen to full episodes

1459
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:35,360
Speaker 2: with stories like THIS i agree. To all you have

1460
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:37,560
Speaker 2: to do is go To Apple podcasts Or spotify or

1461
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:40,240
Speaker 2: wherever you get your podcasts from and. Search, okay story

1462
01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:42,000
Speaker 2: time really quick before we finish. THIS i think we're

1463
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:43,640
Speaker 2: all in consensus here on who the a hole.

1464
01:04:43,720 --> 01:04:44,360
Speaker 4: Is, oh one hundred.

1465
01:04:44,360 --> 01:04:48,160
Speaker 2: Percent it's crazy though That aubrey like was being this

1466
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:51,280
Speaker 2: so nasty and like people are helping her pay her,

1467
01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:53,320
Speaker 2: rent people are helping her pay her car, bills people

1468
01:04:53,360 --> 01:04:55,160
Speaker 2: are helping her take care of her, kids still being

1469
01:04:55,240 --> 01:04:58,800
Speaker 2: nasty and like she's just an entitled piece of crap.

1470
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:02,120
Speaker 2: Person the father of the children are all very good

1471
01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:04,640
Speaker 2: men with good jobs to be able to support the.

1472
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:07,960
Speaker 2: Kids my fiance has maintained a good relationship with the

1473
01:05:08,040 --> 01:05:10,840
Speaker 2: fathers over the. Years for the, kids the fathers all

1474
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:13,240
Speaker 2: have fifty to fifty, custody so birthday parties and things

1475
01:05:13,280 --> 01:05:16,560
Speaker 2: were usually. Combined i'll update again if anything else. Happens

1476
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:19,360
Speaker 2: at this, Point i'm just Hoping aubrey gets some much

1477
01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:22,400
Speaker 2: needed therapy and the help that she. Needs thank you

1478
01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 2: all for the, support also for the well. WISHES i

1479
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:28,440
Speaker 2: appreciate you all so. Much and that is the. End

1480
01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:30,960
Speaker 2: of that. Story. Wow, YEAH i hope everybody gets the

1481
01:05:30,960 --> 01:05:33,480
Speaker 2: help they. Need aubrey clearly needs, help the kids need.

1482
01:05:33,560 --> 01:05:36,800
Speaker 4: Help good on o pd' be like with everything that went,

1483
01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:39,240
Speaker 4: through she still Like aubrey needs.

1484
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:40,960
Speaker 2: Help, yeah that is the end of that. Story