1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: It starts with you everything that you want to do 2 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: in your life. If you remember that you are the 3 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:11,360 Speaker 1: one holding the pen and the notebook is in front 4 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:13,920 Speaker 1: of you, and that you have the opportunity to write 5 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: your story, that is where the magic happens. Hey, everyone 6 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:38,879 Speaker 1: and Leah body here popping in with a special episode 7 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 1: of Hurdle from the AG studio. You know, this week, 8 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: if you're listening to this in real time, is an 9 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,560 Speaker 1: off week for the show. I'm in between season eight 10 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 1: and season nine, but I have been thinking a lot 11 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 1: about how much has changed since the show started four 12 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:02,960 Speaker 1: years ago. I can't believe I saying that now Hurdle, 13 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 1: about to be in its ninth season, has four hundred 14 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 1: and fifty four episodes in the feed, saying that like, 15 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:16,839 Speaker 1: absolutely blows my mind, and so much has happened over 16 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 1: those four hundred and fifty four episodes, Unbelievable conversations, a 17 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 1: lot of personal growth, the creation of this budding community, 18 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: and the through line to all of it, the connector, Well, 19 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:35,680 Speaker 1: it's me. It has been a long time since I 20 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:40,199 Speaker 1: have unpacked my story on the show, and a few 21 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 1: weeks ago, maybe a couple of months. 22 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 2: Ago, actually, I listened back to. 23 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:47,319 Speaker 1: Episode one, and I wasn't as like kind of mortified 24 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 1: as I expected to be in listening to it, Like 25 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,919 Speaker 1: it was literally my first podcast ever. When I started Hurdle, 26 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 1: I wasn't an avid podcast listener. I remember I had 27 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: pages and pages in pages of notes of what I 28 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 1: wanted to say, and I had spoken to so many 29 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 1: other podcasters and had their best tips at my disposal. 30 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:15,079 Speaker 1: And regardless, I'm telling you this because for today's episode 31 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: of Hurdle, this special bonus episode, I'm going to revisit 32 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 1: my story I am four years later after telling it 33 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 1: for the first time, going to reshare my story and 34 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: give some insight as to where I have been, how 35 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: I got to where I am today, and kind of 36 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,679 Speaker 1: fill in the details for those of you that may 37 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: be newer hurdlers. Thank you for coming on this ride 38 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: with me. No sponsors in this one, just me writing solo. 39 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:58,239 Speaker 1: So with that, let's get to hurdling. I recently ran 40 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: my tenth marathon. I say that sentence and I smile 41 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 1: every time, because yes, I'm proud that I've done this 42 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: time and time again and that I keep showing up 43 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 1: to do something both that I enjoy and also that 44 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 1: is mega challenging, But more so that sentence makes me 45 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: smile because I think of the girl in two thousand 46 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: and three, who if you told her that she would 47 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,519 Speaker 1: ever run a marathon, she would have looked at you 48 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: like you have twenty two heads, And yeah, that girl 49 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: is me. And before I go on any further, running 50 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 1: is a part of my story. But you do not 51 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: need to be a runner to love. Listen to identify 52 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: as a hurdler, listen to this show. I always feel 53 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 1: the need to like kind of throw that into the mix. 54 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: The act of running, however, taught me so much about myself, 55 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 1: and for that I am. 56 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 2: Truly truly grateful. 57 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,560 Speaker 1: We'll get to those in just a little bit, but 58 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: let me bring it back to start. Back in two 59 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: thousand and three, I was a high school sophomore and 60 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: I didn't make my junior varsity volleyball team because I 61 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,640 Speaker 1: could not run a mile in under ten minutes. In fact, 62 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 1: at that time, I could barely run it all. I 63 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 1: despised running, and I had been conditioned at this point 64 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,719 Speaker 1: to believe that it was never going to be something 65 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:42,159 Speaker 1: that was in my wheelhouse growing up. I am one 66 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: of two. I have a brother, he's four years older 67 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: than me, And although I was definitely an active kid, 68 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: my brother was like the athlete in the family when 69 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,359 Speaker 1: we were kids. He was the one that was on 70 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 1: the track team, then the cross country team. He was 71 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 1: always traveling here and there to play sport, and for me, 72 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 1: all that stuff didn't come as let's just say, as natural. 73 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,279 Speaker 1: So as a result, whenever we would like get into 74 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 1: a fight, he'd always quip at me and be like, 75 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 1: go run a mile because he knew that at the time, 76 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: I absolutely hated running. And so because of the taunting 77 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 1: from him, and then because of not making the volleyball 78 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 1: team because I wasn't capable of running the mile and 79 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 1: the time cut off, I was made to believe that 80 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 1: I would never be a good runner, and I was 81 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,600 Speaker 1: also made to believe that I wasn't good enough, like 82 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:38,719 Speaker 1: I was completely dissuaded from activity. And to this day 83 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: that actually really breaks my heart, especially considering the statistics 84 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 1: about women and young girls dropping out of sport at 85 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,479 Speaker 1: a greater rate than men do. It's something that I 86 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 1: spoke with Slaine Flannigan about in our conversation last November. 87 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,760 Speaker 2: It's it's so heartbreaking. 88 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 1: That we put in these barriers to entry for young 89 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 1: women and girls to sport that are completely arbitrary. 90 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:04,679 Speaker 2: But I digressed. 91 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 1: I won't go on a rant about that here now. 92 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:13,799 Speaker 1: Not making the volleyball team was the beginning, I would 93 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 1: say to a decline for me in my health. Because 94 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 1: I didn't make the volleyball team. I chose to get 95 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 1: more heavily involved in the arts I was in my 96 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 1: high school musical I would say like maybe three out 97 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 1: of the four years that I was in high school, 98 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 1: and I got heavily involved with a youth group called BBYO, 99 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,919 Speaker 1: which stands for a Benaghbor Youth Organization. I became my 100 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,159 Speaker 1: chapter president, and then I became the regional president, and 101 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,600 Speaker 1: I traveled for it, and all of that was a 102 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: lot of fun. 103 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,039 Speaker 2: But I don't think I had. 104 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:56,920 Speaker 1: Any sort of regular activity like workout situation in the 105 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:01,360 Speaker 1: entirety of my teenage years. On a motional personal note, 106 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 1: when I was sixteen and in high school during this time, 107 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:08,640 Speaker 1: my parents split up, and when I look back on 108 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 1: the years like between, I would say literally most of 109 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:16,080 Speaker 1: high school I don't remember a lot of details. And 110 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: I've talked about this a lot in therapy. I think 111 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 1: it's like my like my body, my being trying to 112 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: like protect me from this emotional trauma. I'm very fortunate 113 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 1: in that I have a great relationship with both of 114 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: my parents, and there's always just been so much love 115 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:37,360 Speaker 1: and I was never witnessed to any arguing or anything 116 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: like that, like as far as I would say, separations 117 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 1: divorces go. I don't know if this is like a 118 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 1: good sentence to say, but it was probably as good 119 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 1: as it could have been for me. Yet still I've suppressed, 120 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,280 Speaker 1: like so many memories from this time. And during this time, 121 00:07:55,160 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: I then gained a ton of weight, and as a 122 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:06,000 Speaker 1: byproduct of that weight gain, being a teenage girl, my 123 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 1: inner dialogue became absolutely awful. 124 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 2: On top of that, the way that I was treated. 125 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 1: And although I don't remember a lot from this time 126 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: in my life, what I do remember are like the 127 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: really high highs and the really low lows. And I 128 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 1: remember that maybe when I was sixteen seventeen years old, 129 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:28,200 Speaker 1: I I was like dating a guy, and by like dating, 130 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,679 Speaker 1: I mean like we were like kissing in the hallway 131 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:31,960 Speaker 1: after school or something. 132 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 2: And I'll never forget. 133 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,720 Speaker 1: That I walked by a table where he was sitting 134 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 1: at lunch one day, and I heard his friends make 135 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 1: fun of my size, and I just went into the 136 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 1: bathroom that was like one hundred feet away and locked 137 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: myself in the stall and cried. I also remember being 138 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 1: made to feel like I didn't fit in society based 139 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 1: on the clothing options that were available to me at 140 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 1: the time. I have certainly told this story on the 141 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: show before, but when I was in high school, I 142 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 1: mostly shopped at American Eagle. Man how things have changed. 143 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,960 Speaker 1: I think at the time American Eagle sizing. The biggest 144 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 1: size that they made was A fourteen or sixteen, a sixteen, 145 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: and today I know that their biggest size is A 146 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 1: twenty four, so that's good. But I exclusively shopped an 147 00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:39,600 Speaker 1: American Eagle, and I would wear my American Eagle denim 148 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 1: until I couldn't wear them anymore because the thighs at 149 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: the top of the thighs, where my thighs rubbed together, 150 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 1: they would get so thin and start to rip. And 151 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 1: so I was on the brink of needing a new 152 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: pair of geans and that they were ripping. And I 153 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,480 Speaker 1: distinctly remember this one night where my dad took me 154 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 1: to the American Eagle store in the Trumble Mall, and 155 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:08,719 Speaker 1: it was a late late on a weeknight, and we 156 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 1: went in there and I went into the dressing room 157 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: and I brought in the jeans that I always go 158 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 1: to buy, the exact same pair, and I went to 159 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:19,120 Speaker 1: put them on and they didn't button and I couldn't 160 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 1: get in them, and there were no other pants for 161 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,200 Speaker 1: me in the store. There was nothing else in the 162 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: store that would fit. 163 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 2: Me and my body. And I walked out of there, 164 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 2: and I. 165 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: Felt so defeated and upset and lonely because where was 166 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 1: I supposed to go, What was I supposed to wear? 167 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,080 Speaker 2: What was I supposed to do? Who? 168 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,599 Speaker 1: No one understood how I felt in that moment, or 169 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 1: at least that's how I felt at that time, because 170 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,080 Speaker 1: when I walked out of that store and I looked 171 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 1: around the mall, there was nowhere else that I could 172 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,920 Speaker 1: find clothing that would be okay for me in my body. 173 00:10:55,400 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 1: I was the outsider. I was the exception. I felt alone. 174 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 1: I went to college and come spring semester, I had 175 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 1: probably gained the standard freshman fifteen. 176 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,120 Speaker 2: So this means that between. 177 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:21,199 Speaker 1: Age like sixteen and eighteen turning nineteen, I had gained 178 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 1: a significant amount of weight, and I was at a 179 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:29,440 Speaker 1: really low point. I was studying for a final my 180 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 1: spring semester, and I decided that I would procrastinate that 181 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:38,840 Speaker 1: final by weighing myself, because that is totally normal. And 182 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,199 Speaker 1: I looked at the scale that had been collecting dusk 183 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 1: sitting under my twin XL bunk bed, and I pulled 184 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,320 Speaker 1: it out and I tapped it and I got on 185 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 1: and I recall waiting for those numbers to populate. 186 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,439 Speaker 2: It felt like an eternity. 187 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 1: And I looked down and I saw a number over 188 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 1: to hundred pounds looking back at me, and I was 189 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:07,960 Speaker 1: beside myself. I was beside myself because looking at that 190 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: number made me finally come to terms with the fact 191 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 1: that I was not okay. And it wasn't that I 192 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 1: wasn't okay because of the number on the scale. 193 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 2: I wasn't okay because I was an emotional mess. 194 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:24,040 Speaker 1: I was unhappy in my body and I needed to 195 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: do something about it. And so I did something so 196 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 1: counterintuitive to me at the time, which was throw on 197 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:35,679 Speaker 1: that freshman high school volleyball sweatshirt and a pair of 198 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:40,080 Speaker 1: target leggings and some old sneakers and run down the 199 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 1: four flights of stairs to my dorm, out the door, 200 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,800 Speaker 1: and sprinted down the street until I couldn't run anymore, 201 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:49,920 Speaker 1: which literally lasted for about like I don't know, maybe 202 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:54,160 Speaker 1: fourteen seconds before I collapsed into this like soaking wet 203 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 1: grass and looked up at the sky and was like, 204 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:01,080 Speaker 1: I am done. I need to make a change. I 205 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:04,040 Speaker 1: cannot live like this. I don't want to live like this. 206 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 1: And I know that if I don't do something about this, 207 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,560 Speaker 1: no one's going to do it for me. 208 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 2: And so it started. It started that night, I mean 209 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 2: it started the next morning. 210 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: I woke up and the first thing that I decided 211 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,280 Speaker 1: to do was start to make healthier choices when it 212 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:23,199 Speaker 1: came to what I was putting in my body. 213 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 2: You know, the great thing about. 214 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 1: College dining halls is that you have access to absolutely 215 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,520 Speaker 1: everything whenever you want it. But the bad thing about 216 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 1: college dining halls is that you have access to absolutely everything. 217 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 2: Whenever you want it. 218 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: And so I made a habit of like having a 219 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 1: side of tater tots or ice scream with like almost 220 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 1: every meal because I could, because I had this independence. 221 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 2: And so what I. 222 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:49,440 Speaker 1: Started to do was not do that and to learn 223 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:54,920 Speaker 1: more about portion control. I as a tool went back 224 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:59,439 Speaker 1: to Weight Watchers at the time, and although I never 225 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:04,040 Speaker 1: really strictly followed the Weight Watchers now called WW plan, 226 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 1: what did work for me was having to show up 227 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,400 Speaker 1: at one of their centers every week and step on 228 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:14,520 Speaker 1: a scale and have some accountability. And I would drive 229 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:17,040 Speaker 1: to the Weight Watchers center, which is about, I want 230 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 1: to say, like twenty minutes or so from campus, and 231 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:22,840 Speaker 1: I would go way in. 232 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 2: Sometimes I would stay for the meeting, sometimes I wouldn't. 233 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 1: And then I would immediately drive like a minute away 234 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 1: to a drunk Dunkin Donuts drive through, and my like 235 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:39,720 Speaker 1: weekly treat for myself was a glaisstick donut. To this day, 236 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 1: I still think of a Glaize stick donut as like 237 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 1: the thing that I want to get when I want 238 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 1: to treat myself. And I know that a lot of 239 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,840 Speaker 1: people have a lot of feelings about using food as 240 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 1: a reward. I hear you, but it's like a sentimental 241 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,400 Speaker 1: thing for me because it was like an indulgence that 242 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 1: I had during this crazy time in my life where 243 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 1: I was learning about my iteration and I was never 244 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 1: eliminating anything. The Gladestick donut for me represented that I 245 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 1: could do both. I could learn how to eat better, 246 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 1: love my body, and I could also have these things 247 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,680 Speaker 1: that like maybe weren't what other people thought about when 248 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:18,080 Speaker 1: they were trying to lose weight. 249 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 2: That's still my philosophy today. Let it be noted. 250 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:24,960 Speaker 1: I really do believe that there's room for everything in moderation. 251 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 1: I've never been a really big fan of any sort 252 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 1: of elimination diet. I understand that individuals need to cut 253 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,800 Speaker 1: out things because of maybe sensitivities like gluten, for instance, 254 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 1: But for me, growing up in a really big Italian family, 255 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 1: learning to just love food for all of its goodness 256 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:50,280 Speaker 1: and wonderfulness. Even during my major weight loss period, I 257 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 1: never ever, ever completely said this thing is off limits 258 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:54,600 Speaker 1: for me. 259 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 2: I digress over. 260 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 1: I would say about a year and a half, I 261 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 1: lost about thirty to forty pounds, and like I said, 262 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 1: a big part of that was learning how to eat better. 263 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,960 Speaker 1: I also started to integrate a lot more movement into 264 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,520 Speaker 1: my routine. At first, that movement looked like going to 265 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,720 Speaker 1: my college gym and like getting on the elliptical for 266 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:20,120 Speaker 1: a really long time. I wasn't really into string training yet, 267 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:24,760 Speaker 1: but yes, a lot of cardio I was working at 268 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:29,240 Speaker 1: a summer camp the summer of I want to say, 269 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:33,400 Speaker 1: two thousand and eight, and I was about halfway through 270 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,720 Speaker 1: this weight loss journey, and I knew that I wanted 271 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:39,800 Speaker 1: to keep on it, keep at it, and I didn't 272 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 1: have a gym available to me, and so I decided 273 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,760 Speaker 1: that I was going to learn how to be a runner, 274 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 1: which again I told you, I was so conditioned from 275 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 1: a young age to believe that running was just not 276 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 1: in my wheelhouse. So this was a really scary thing. 277 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,400 Speaker 1: But when you have a goal, when you have your 278 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 1: mindset on something, you realize that you are a little 279 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,320 Speaker 1: more willing than you used to be to getting a 280 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:12,560 Speaker 1: little uncomfortable in pursuit of better, and so I tried it. 281 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:16,879 Speaker 1: It started with me buying some black cotton leggings from 282 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 1: Target and a pack of Haines white menucks from Walmart. 283 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 1: I think I also may have purchased new shoes at 284 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,879 Speaker 1: the beginning of that summer. And something else that I 285 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 1: did was I purchased a size smaller at least one. 286 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,439 Speaker 1: I want to say they maybe were like a size 287 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:35,720 Speaker 1: ten or a size eight pair of jeans from Gap 288 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:39,320 Speaker 1: at the Clinton Crossing outlets in Connecticut. I bought these 289 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 1: jeans and I hung them up on the back of 290 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,400 Speaker 1: my door in the cabin that I was living in, 291 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,840 Speaker 1: and they were like my reminder to myself that I 292 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,719 Speaker 1: was on this journey because when I purchased them, they 293 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 1: did not fit at all. 294 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,800 Speaker 2: And so I bought all this stuff. 295 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:58,160 Speaker 1: I got my tools together, and I made the decision 296 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,240 Speaker 1: that every day I would get out and I would 297 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 1: try to run and don't get it twisted. Like when 298 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,760 Speaker 1: I say like I would get out and run, like 299 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 1: my running at first wasn't consistent, and that it wasn't 300 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,320 Speaker 1: like I was going out and running what I thought 301 00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:12,879 Speaker 1: was a mile, Like I wasn't going out and just 302 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 1: running a mile. And that was the thing. It was 303 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:18,400 Speaker 1: a run walk, It was a combo. And I didn't 304 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,359 Speaker 1: have any judgment over that. It was like, this is 305 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,919 Speaker 1: how I'm going to learn how to be okay with running. 306 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,399 Speaker 1: And so every day after lunch, I would go to 307 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,679 Speaker 1: my bunk or my cabin or whatever, and I would 308 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,400 Speaker 1: put on my black leggings and my white V neck 309 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,359 Speaker 1: and my sneakers and I would go out and run 310 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,680 Speaker 1: this route that took me fourteen minutes, and I would 311 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,280 Speaker 1: be absolutely drenched, and then I would come and I 312 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:40,960 Speaker 1: would rinse off, and I would go on with the 313 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:41,680 Speaker 1: rest of my day. 314 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,119 Speaker 2: And that was the beginning of something really special for me. 315 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,679 Speaker 1: At the end of the summer, I measured the distance 316 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,280 Speaker 1: with my car that I was convinced was a mile 317 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:56,359 Speaker 1: and learned that I had been running a half mile 318 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,560 Speaker 1: every day and that half mile took me fourteen minutes. 319 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,159 Speaker 1: And it could have been really, really easy to be 320 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,919 Speaker 1: angry about that and frustrated about that, but rather I 321 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,160 Speaker 1: was really proud because I learned to love that time. 322 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 1: I learned what it felt like to invest in myself 323 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,399 Speaker 1: and that I was worthy of my own energy. 324 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,560 Speaker 2: And how special is that? Right? How could you be 325 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,520 Speaker 2: mad when that's the takeaway? 326 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:25,280 Speaker 1: And so with time, after that summer of consistent effort, 327 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,920 Speaker 1: I learned to run further, and that half mile became 328 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:33,960 Speaker 1: a mile, and that mile became a few miles, and 329 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,960 Speaker 1: then a five k And in the fall of my 330 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:40,520 Speaker 1: junior year, so this is fall two thousand and nine, 331 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 1: I ran my first half marathon. 332 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 2: Now that's a whole other story. 333 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,720 Speaker 1: I trained for that half marathon using a hal Haigden 334 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,439 Speaker 1: training plan off the internet. I think if you Google 335 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 1: half marathon training plan. Hal Hagden's programming is the first 336 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,440 Speaker 1: thing that comes up. And I found this beginner half 337 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,560 Speaker 1: marathon training plan. And I was a junior in college 338 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,280 Speaker 1: and I had already lost like a bunch of weight, 339 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:12,359 Speaker 1: and I was feeling really confident and excited. And about 340 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:16,679 Speaker 1: a week and a half before that marathon I had 341 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,879 Speaker 1: worked so hard for I get a call in the 342 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,879 Speaker 1: middle of the night from one of my best friends 343 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:27,440 Speaker 1: at the time, who had recently graduated. He was living 344 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:31,920 Speaker 1: on Long Island that another one of our mutual friends 345 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:36,920 Speaker 1: was in the hospital in a coma because he had overdosed. 346 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 1: About I want to say, maybe two or three days 347 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:50,160 Speaker 1: later he passed away, and that meant that his funeral. 348 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 2: Was the day of the half marathon. 349 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 1: I drove out to Island on a Thursday. The wake 350 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,480 Speaker 1: was going to be on Friday, and I went to 351 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:11,959 Speaker 1: the wake, and after the wake, we stood in this 352 00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:17,960 Speaker 1: bar and my best friend at the time he looked 353 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,719 Speaker 1: at me and he said, and our friend who had 354 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,479 Speaker 1: passed away, his pledge name for the fraternity that they 355 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:23,840 Speaker 1: were in. 356 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 2: It was Snowflake, and he said, Snowflake. 357 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:30,280 Speaker 1: Would want you to run the marathon, and I made 358 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,359 Speaker 1: a really difficult decision that day. I made a really 359 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,320 Speaker 1: difficult decision that day to get back in my navy 360 00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:41,400 Speaker 1: blue Jetta and drive back to stores Connecticut and drive 361 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,200 Speaker 1: straight to a wal Mart and buy myself a pink 362 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:48,639 Speaker 1: Haynes T shirt. And in true sorority girl fashion, I 363 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,720 Speaker 1: was in kapak Apagama at Yukon. I decorated the hell 364 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:56,280 Speaker 1: out of that pink T shirt and drew snowflakes on it. 365 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:00,439 Speaker 1: I wrote my name on the back. I woke up 366 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:04,359 Speaker 1: the next morning and I ran that marathon for him. 367 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 1: I remember crossing the finish line that day. I think 368 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,400 Speaker 1: I ran that half marathon in something like two hours 369 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,840 Speaker 1: and forty five minutes. It was nothing, you know, as 370 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 1: far as running times go. The time wasn't superstellar, but 371 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,359 Speaker 1: I couldn't have cared less. I was so proud of 372 00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,920 Speaker 1: myself that I had showed up there and I had 373 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:30,520 Speaker 1: done this thing, and that I was finally I believed 374 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,399 Speaker 1: that I was finally a runner. I was the thing 375 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,000 Speaker 1: that I was told for so long that I could 376 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 1: never be, and from that moment I was better for it. 377 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,400 Speaker 2: So I'll fast forward a little bit. 378 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:47,600 Speaker 1: I mean, this was like I said right before I 379 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 1: graduated college. I graduated college, I started working in New 380 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:56,160 Speaker 1: York City. I was down about a total of seventy 381 00:22:56,200 --> 00:23:00,000 Speaker 1: pounds and done. I mean, so to speak on that journey, 382 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,680 Speaker 1: you believe weight losses like a forever work in progress. 383 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,600 Speaker 1: But I have now kept off a greater amount of 384 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:10,359 Speaker 1: that weight loss. For the better part of twelve or 385 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:14,719 Speaker 1: thirteen years I was working in New York City. Eventually 386 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,280 Speaker 1: I would move to New York City. I worked at 387 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,920 Speaker 1: a women's lifestyle blog called The Stir, which was part 388 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:25,320 Speaker 1: of a company called Cafe Mom, where I was writing 389 00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 1: everything from news and entertainment to a healthy living content. 390 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,760 Speaker 2: And after three and a half years working. 391 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:40,160 Speaker 1: There, a company that owned at the time Women's Health, 392 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:45,120 Speaker 1: Men's Health, Runners, World Prevention, Bicycling magazines, et cetera. They 393 00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:46,520 Speaker 1: reached out to me because they were looking for a 394 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,720 Speaker 1: fitness editor. And I was so scared because, yes, like 395 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,960 Speaker 1: I was super interested in health and fitness. At this time, 396 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,320 Speaker 1: I had run more half marathons, I was working out 397 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,639 Speaker 1: all the time. All of my days started with me 398 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,080 Speaker 1: going to the New York Sports Club up on eighty 399 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,880 Speaker 1: sixth Street, which is certainly no longer there. I think 400 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:05,679 Speaker 1: it's an old Navy now, but I thought that it 401 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 1: could get boring, like who wants to talk about health 402 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,639 Speaker 1: and wellness all the time? Like, what am I going 403 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,520 Speaker 1: to do after I don't know a month of it, 404 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,200 Speaker 1: I asked myself. I remember making a pro con list 405 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:19,359 Speaker 1: to taking a new job with my then boyfriend at 406 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:24,200 Speaker 1: the time of my cousin at Rodeo Bar in murray Hill. 407 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,479 Speaker 2: And I decided to take the job. 408 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 1: And taking that job was the catalyst for like where 409 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,280 Speaker 1: I'm sitting here today and that I realized that it 410 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,040 Speaker 1: was really awesome when I could combine my passions with 411 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 1: my work. 412 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,640 Speaker 2: And so while I was working at Rodale. 413 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:43,359 Speaker 1: As a fitness editor, I got certifications. I got my 414 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:47,560 Speaker 1: personal training certification. And I wasn't getting these certifications because 415 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,119 Speaker 1: I wanted to actually like go into personal training. I 416 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,520 Speaker 1: was getting these certifications because I wanted to be able 417 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 1: to have smarter conversations with experts to create fact based. 418 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,240 Speaker 2: Content that served my consumer. 419 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 1: So when anybody asks me for like my best piece 420 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,040 Speaker 1: of advice as a journalist, my best piece of advice 421 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,280 Speaker 1: is to choose a niche and get educated within that 422 00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,800 Speaker 1: niche as much as possible. Although it can definitely be 423 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,439 Speaker 1: seen as a little bit of a hassle. When you 424 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:16,120 Speaker 1: get a personal training certification, every other year you have 425 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 1: to do more education. They call it continuing education so 426 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:23,240 Speaker 1: that you can keep that certification. So for me, every 427 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,080 Speaker 1: other year, I'm like taking on a new skill. It 428 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,600 Speaker 1: started with that personal training certification, then I got my 429 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:32,639 Speaker 1: UESCA Run Coach certification, and then last year I study 430 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:36,640 Speaker 1: for my Precision Nutrition Level one certification. So I'm constantly 431 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: on a quest for new knowledge as to expand what 432 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,560 Speaker 1: I know and better inform the people that I'm trying 433 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,600 Speaker 1: to communicate, which these days is. 434 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:50,120 Speaker 2: All of you. I worked as a fitness editor at Rodale. 435 00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:53,479 Speaker 1: I got let go from Rodale because of just company 436 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:58,720 Speaker 1: wide layoffs, and five days later I landed an opportunity 437 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,760 Speaker 1: to interview for the fitness editor at Self magazine. 438 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:06,800 Speaker 2: I man freelancing. 439 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,240 Speaker 1: Being a freelance journalist is a lot of hard work, 440 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 1: and when you are in your mid twenties, I would 441 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 1: say that I was certainly not ready yet to thrust 442 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:20,680 Speaker 1: into that level of personal accountability. I had recently moved 443 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 1: into my first ever solo studio apartment. 444 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:25,720 Speaker 2: I had big rent to pay. 445 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,080 Speaker 1: I think at the time, my rent was seventeen hundred 446 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:32,080 Speaker 1: dollars and when I got let go from my job, 447 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:36,600 Speaker 1: I was terrified, absolutely terrified. I was beside myself and 448 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,240 Speaker 1: I reached out to absolutely everyone I knew in my 449 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 1: professional network and was like, let me know if you 450 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 1: have anything that you need written, or anyone that you 451 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:49,800 Speaker 1: know that is looking for to hire. And Liz Plaster, 452 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,080 Speaker 1: who's been on the show twice, was working as the 453 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:56,720 Speaker 1: deputy editor at Self magazine, and she called me up 454 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,199 Speaker 1: and was like, I have an assignment. Do you have 455 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,720 Speaker 1: time for it? I need it like within three days. 456 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:05,680 Speaker 1: And at the time, being a veteran digital journalist, having 457 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,720 Speaker 1: three days to work on an article is like, I mean, 458 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:08,560 Speaker 1: that's a lot of time. 459 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 2: So I was like, no problem. I turned the article. 460 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,680 Speaker 1: Around and then I think it was a day or 461 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 1: two later she emailed me and the subject of the 462 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,720 Speaker 1: email was just fitness editor and it said when can 463 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 1: you come in and chat? And so I went in 464 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,960 Speaker 1: and chatted the next day and it was the first 465 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,640 Speaker 1: time I ever also sat down with an executive editor 466 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:34,600 Speaker 1: of a magazine. Shout out to Suzandamatto and an editor 467 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,439 Speaker 1: in chief of the magazine, Joyce Chang at the time. 468 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:38,800 Speaker 2: And I walked into. 469 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,160 Speaker 1: Joyce's office and I sat down and I just kind 470 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,560 Speaker 1: of said to her without even like she didn't ask me, 471 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,080 Speaker 1: like why should I choose you for this job? I 472 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:50,560 Speaker 1: sat down with her in her like bright shiny white 473 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 1: office on like something like the twenty seventh floor of 474 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 1: the World Trade Center. I looked at her and I said, 475 00:27:58,040 --> 00:27:59,880 Speaker 1: I know you're looking at my resume and you see 476 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:03,080 Speaker 1: it digital journalist sitting in front of you. But I 477 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:07,359 Speaker 1: promise you whatever I do not know, I will learn, 478 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,919 Speaker 1: and I will come into this magazine and do this 479 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,000 Speaker 1: print job better than any other person that you will 480 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,200 Speaker 1: interview for this opportunity. I don't know what the hell 481 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,800 Speaker 1: came over me, I honestly to this day, like I 482 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:20,600 Speaker 1: think about what I said to her in that office, 483 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:24,120 Speaker 1: and that took balls, But I think those balls they 484 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,160 Speaker 1: come from It's a sinker swim moment. Like I said, 485 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:27,960 Speaker 1: I had rent to pay. 486 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:28,600 Speaker 2: I needed. 487 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,800 Speaker 1: I needed this job not just because it was a 488 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,919 Speaker 1: good job, but because it was my dream job and 489 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,199 Speaker 1: because I knew that I was qualified for it and 490 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 1: I wasn't going to let whatever like conventional wisdom or 491 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 1: like the normalcy would say my career path up to 492 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 1: that point be the thing that stood in my way 493 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:51,480 Speaker 1: from getting it. And the next day, I was cleaning 494 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:55,360 Speaker 1: up my studio apartment in an effort to de stress 495 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:59,720 Speaker 1: from the zillions of emails in my inbox, and Billy 496 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:03,320 Speaker 1: Joel was playing and I got a call from HR 497 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,760 Speaker 1: at Conde Nast and they told me that I got 498 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:08,400 Speaker 1: the job, and they asked me if I could start 499 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:13,560 Speaker 1: the next week. The craziest thing about that is that 500 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,480 Speaker 1: I don't think I would have applied for that job 501 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,480 Speaker 1: if I hadn't been laid off from my other job, 502 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 1: because I would have also thought that I didn't have 503 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:23,640 Speaker 1: the experience necessary to go after something that was absolutely 504 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:28,520 Speaker 1: perfect for me. And so I always, always always say 505 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 1: when someone asks me for a career advice, that there 506 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,560 Speaker 1: are two things that you need to keep in mind. 507 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 1: The first thing is that you need to be your 508 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,360 Speaker 1: own biggest hype man, and that if you don't believe 509 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,520 Speaker 1: and stand firm in the fact that you can do something, 510 00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:45,000 Speaker 1: that you are the person to do this thing, then 511 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:48,840 Speaker 1: you can't expect other people to see your potential. And 512 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,760 Speaker 1: the second thing that I say is jump before you're 513 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:56,240 Speaker 1: ready for so so long. You know, I had been told, 514 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,800 Speaker 1: you need to stay at this job for this long, 515 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:03,360 Speaker 1: don't pop around too often, et cetera. But at the 516 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,240 Speaker 1: end of the day, like at the end of your life, 517 00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:07,640 Speaker 1: no one's gonna say, like, oh, remember when she left 518 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 1: that job within four months because she found another opportunity 519 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,480 Speaker 1: that was bigger and better for her. Nah, I don't 520 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:18,360 Speaker 1: stay at Yeah, that's just not gonna happen. You gotta 521 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,600 Speaker 1: trust your gut. Every single day you have the opportunity 522 00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:25,160 Speaker 1: to write your story. And what a beautiful, beautiful, golden 523 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 1: opportunity that is. And so a week later I started 524 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:33,160 Speaker 1: as the fitness editor Itself magazine, and I had one 525 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,280 Speaker 1: hell of a time there. I worked itself for about 526 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 1: a year before that magazine folded because gestures loosely, this 527 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,240 Speaker 1: is life. And during that time I did everything from 528 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:48,720 Speaker 1: interview olympians like Candice Parker and Jevi Stone and Simone Biles, 529 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:54,760 Speaker 1: to staff photo shoots, direct photo shoots, travel to Los Angeles. 530 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,520 Speaker 1: I once traveled. I told the story recently on a podcast. 531 00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:01,240 Speaker 1: I pitched to my editorial team that we needed to 532 00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,400 Speaker 1: know more about what was going on in the Los 533 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 1: Angeles fitness scene. And I put together a seventy two 534 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 1: hour fitness crawl where I went to as many. 535 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,120 Speaker 2: Studios as possible. 536 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:15,480 Speaker 1: I distinctly remember like running from a CrossFit gym to 537 00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 1: a plate studio, taking classes at both. I think it 538 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,880 Speaker 1: was four miles in between the two, and I was 539 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,040 Speaker 1: like getting paid to do that? 540 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 2: What an insane What an insane time? What an insane time. 541 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:34,520 Speaker 1: I'm just sitting here shaking my head because it's insane, right, 542 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:39,000 Speaker 1: It's insane that because one day my freshman year of college, 543 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,320 Speaker 1: I decided that I was worthy of my own investment 544 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,160 Speaker 1: and that I needed to make some positive steps to 545 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,920 Speaker 1: take ownership over my health. Then I developed this vested 546 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:51,920 Speaker 1: interest in health and wellness and in becoming the best 547 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:55,440 Speaker 1: version of myself, and was able to figure out how 548 00:31:55,480 --> 00:32:00,320 Speaker 1: to make a career surrounding that, and then kept manifesting 549 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:04,520 Speaker 1: on how to do more of it, how to level up, 550 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:08,480 Speaker 1: how to continually find things that served my greater purpose. Right, 551 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,560 Speaker 1: and when I was atself, that's when I really started 552 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:13,880 Speaker 1: to articulate what it was. 553 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,480 Speaker 2: That I wanted for my life. 554 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:24,680 Speaker 1: I was twenty seven, and I knew that my overarching 555 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,960 Speaker 1: goal in my life would be to help others navigate 556 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:32,120 Speaker 1: their own individual wellness journeys. I was on a mission 557 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:39,000 Speaker 1: to help other people feel less alone. I didn't want women, 558 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:43,360 Speaker 1: specifically to have to go through what I went through. 559 00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:47,520 Speaker 1: Not that I don't think that there are a lot 560 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,520 Speaker 1: of benefits to the hardships and the hurdle moments that 561 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:51,280 Speaker 1: I went through. 562 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,160 Speaker 2: There are. But if I. 563 00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:59,200 Speaker 1: Could make you feel less alone in your struggle, then 564 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:03,000 Speaker 1: I'm doing something right. If I can help you get 565 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 1: through these hurdle moments knowing that there is hope on 566 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,880 Speaker 1: the other side, that you are capable of persevering through 567 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:11,800 Speaker 1: the moments that make you feel like you are at 568 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:17,880 Speaker 1: your lowest low, How lucky am I? And so when 569 00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:23,640 Speaker 1: I got let go from self man, I remember I 570 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,040 Speaker 1: was at a sneaker launch from Nike. It was like 571 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,360 Speaker 1: that back to the future sneaker, the Air mag It 572 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,719 Speaker 1: was like a showing of the Air mag or something 573 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:35,200 Speaker 1: a Nike store and soho. And I was in a 574 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,880 Speaker 1: dressing room, like putting on some clothes, and I got 575 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,600 Speaker 1: a call from someone who tipped me off that the 576 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,240 Speaker 1: magazine was going to be folding. And went into that 577 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:48,000 Speaker 1: office that day and we were all called into the 578 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,560 Speaker 1: other in chief's office, the entire staff, and Anna Wintour 579 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,240 Speaker 1: walked in. This is like a total like movie moment, 580 00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:55,840 Speaker 1: and we are all crying because we know what's about 581 00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:57,880 Speaker 1: to happen. And she reads from a set of note 582 00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:59,880 Speaker 1: cards and tells us that the magazine is folding. 583 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,760 Speaker 2: We all just lost our jobs. 584 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:04,400 Speaker 1: If you're wondering if there was like a lot of 585 00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:09,600 Speaker 1: emotion there from Anna, the answer is no. And we 586 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:13,160 Speaker 1: all started like we were just we were wrecked. We 587 00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,400 Speaker 1: went to brunch. I think I drank like a gaggle 588 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,640 Speaker 1: of bloody Mary's. But unlike the time that I got 589 00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:21,880 Speaker 1: let go from Rhodale, I felt like I was ready 590 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:25,439 Speaker 1: to figure this one out. Like I didn't necessarily think, Okay, 591 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,200 Speaker 1: I'm really excited to start this next chapter as a 592 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,200 Speaker 1: freelance journalist, but I felt like I really had a 593 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:34,319 Speaker 1: solid network, especially because I was so rooted in the 594 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,319 Speaker 1: fitness industry at this point that I was ready. 595 00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:38,960 Speaker 2: To handle whatever was going to come my way. 596 00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:42,040 Speaker 1: And so I started sending out those emails and thus 597 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:46,720 Speaker 1: began what would eventually become like a year long journey 598 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:51,000 Speaker 1: of freelance writing and a really big year for self 599 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:55,120 Speaker 1: discovery and learning to push myself and run at opportunities 600 00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:59,560 Speaker 1: and try new things. And it happened during this time 601 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,520 Speaker 1: as every but he always says that it does that 602 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:07,000 Speaker 1: I fell in love and I met someone that I 603 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,879 Speaker 1: ended up dating for like eight months, I want to say, 604 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:16,600 Speaker 1: in early twenty seventeen, and that would become a really 605 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:20,440 Speaker 1: big part of the reason why I ultimately started the show. 606 00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:23,719 Speaker 2: I cared a lot about him. 607 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:28,040 Speaker 1: We had a lot of fun together, we had a 608 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,239 Speaker 1: lot of the same interests, and I think for a 609 00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:37,680 Speaker 1: long time that was a really solid foundation for companionship. 610 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:41,560 Speaker 1: But what ultimately happened was it just wasn't the thing, 611 00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:46,680 Speaker 1: And in the weeks and months that followed, I became 612 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:50,160 Speaker 1: like a shell of myself. I was sitting on my 613 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:54,560 Speaker 1: couch with a girlfriend of mine that was in town visiting, 614 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,640 Speaker 1: and we were eating ramen and I looked at her 615 00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 1: and I said, and this is October of twenty seventeen, 616 00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,080 Speaker 1: I just so badly want to get over this hurdle, 617 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:08,840 Speaker 1: and the words came out of my mouth, and it 618 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:12,279 Speaker 1: just I went into I interviewed Sadie Lincoln, she's the 619 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,239 Speaker 1: founder of Bar three early on in the show, and 620 00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,440 Speaker 1: she described something that she calls warrior state, which is 621 00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:20,840 Speaker 1: when you are doing work that feels so purposeful and 622 00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:23,640 Speaker 1: special that it no longer necessarily feels like work. It 623 00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:26,839 Speaker 1: just feels like everything you're supposed to do. And in 624 00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:31,160 Speaker 1: that moment, I concepted Hurdle. I concepted this idea for 625 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,440 Speaker 1: a podcast that I would talk to other people about 626 00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:37,359 Speaker 1: the hurdle moments that they are going through, and everything, 627 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:42,320 Speaker 1: every ounce of my being started to be poured into 628 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:46,480 Speaker 1: this thing that I didn't know would become like my. 629 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:48,640 Speaker 2: Occupation, or at least a large part of it. 630 00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,120 Speaker 1: Right like, when I started Hurdle, I thought that it 631 00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:52,719 Speaker 1: was just going to be this thing that brought me 632 00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:55,480 Speaker 1: joy when I felt as though like my life was 633 00:36:55,600 --> 00:37:01,120 Speaker 1: at times without. And I started talking to a lot 634 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,960 Speaker 1: of podcasters and asking them for what worked for them 635 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,480 Speaker 1: and learning from them and taking meetings and buying coffees 636 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,840 Speaker 1: and doing all the things. And then finally, on December 637 00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:14,560 Speaker 1: thirty first of twenty seventeen, Hurt launched in the iTunes Store. 638 00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:19,480 Speaker 1: And while the rest is history, I feel like that 639 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,440 Speaker 1: was a rambling account of how I got to where 640 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:23,680 Speaker 1: I am now. But I do have a few key 641 00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,439 Speaker 1: takeaways that I want to make sure that I run home. 642 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:31,000 Speaker 1: As I finish up this solo episode talking about my journey, 643 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:35,520 Speaker 1: I realized I didn't mention the first marathon I ever ran. 644 00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:39,520 Speaker 1: The first marathon I ever ran was also in Hertford, 645 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,960 Speaker 1: the Hartford IMG Marathon at the time it was called. 646 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:46,600 Speaker 1: I ran that marathon in twenty and thirteen, in four hours, 647 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:50,239 Speaker 1: three minutes and nineteen seconds. And I don't know if 648 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:52,560 Speaker 1: I necessarily thought when I crossed that finish line that 649 00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,480 Speaker 1: I would be doing it again, but I knew that 650 00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,360 Speaker 1: I had kind of like summitted the mountain at that 651 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:01,560 Speaker 1: time in terms of like my personal wellness journey. I 652 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:04,680 Speaker 1: was just so proud that this girl who again time 653 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:06,840 Speaker 1: and time again was told that this couldn't be something 654 00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,600 Speaker 1: that she could do because of her size or the 655 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:12,320 Speaker 1: way that she looked, or like her lack of motivation, 656 00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,560 Speaker 1: Like I showed up and I did that one for me, 657 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,920 Speaker 1: like I did that first half marathon. Ultimately, I started 658 00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:20,520 Speaker 1: out on that journey for me, but I did it 659 00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:23,879 Speaker 1: for Snowflake. I ran that first full twenty six point 660 00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:30,000 Speaker 1: two mile marathon entirely for myself, and from that moment 661 00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:35,279 Speaker 1: I kind of learned that self care wasn't selfish. And 662 00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,120 Speaker 1: that self care was going to be something that would 663 00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:39,719 Speaker 1: carry me through all of the difficult moments. 664 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:39,919 Speaker 2: In my life. 665 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:44,040 Speaker 1: I would not be where I am today, however, without 666 00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:47,759 Speaker 1: the love and support of my community. I think one 667 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,520 Speaker 1: of the biggest takeaways that I can tell you when 668 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:53,560 Speaker 1: it comes to fostering relationships as an adult is that 669 00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:56,000 Speaker 1: it takes a really big person to allow people to 670 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,680 Speaker 1: play a role in your life that you wish that 671 00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:01,440 Speaker 1: they wouldn't. I have had to, as a single woman 672 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:05,319 Speaker 1: in my mid thirties get to a place where I 673 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:09,840 Speaker 1: recognize that everyone is in a different season at different times, 674 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,279 Speaker 1: and I have some forever friends that I know will 675 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:16,920 Speaker 1: absolutely always have my back, and those are the people 676 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:21,120 Speaker 1: that I look to when I need help. Knowing that 677 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,879 Speaker 1: asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but 678 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:27,279 Speaker 1: rather an opportunity to get to where you want to be. 679 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,400 Speaker 1: I can say that I didn't really understand that at 680 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,200 Speaker 1: the beginning of my journey, and that is something that 681 00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:37,040 Speaker 1: I want to make sure that I reiterate here. 682 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,800 Speaker 2: Regardless of you know, wherever you are, wherever you're. 683 00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:45,480 Speaker 1: Listening to this, Knowing that asking for help can be 684 00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:49,480 Speaker 1: the game changer, especially when you're still working on fostering 685 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,880 Speaker 1: those feelings of self belief because they're hard, right. That 686 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:56,200 Speaker 1: inner dialogue, man, that's a hard thing to get over. 687 00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:59,080 Speaker 1: But with the right tools and the right help, you 688 00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:02,080 Speaker 1: will get to a place where you understand and fully 689 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,839 Speaker 1: grasp the idea that you are the person that has 690 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:08,040 Speaker 1: the pen to write your own story, and every single 691 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:13,080 Speaker 1: chapter going forward. Another takeaway from my journey, self belief 692 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:16,759 Speaker 1: and self worth starts with you. That's why the word 693 00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:21,520 Speaker 1: self is in front of both of those terms. You 694 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:28,040 Speaker 1: cannot let other people determine how you feel about yourself. 695 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,319 Speaker 1: You are the person that knows your intentions. You are 696 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,080 Speaker 1: the person that is in charge again of that pen, 697 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:38,840 Speaker 1: and so you owe it to yourself to be responsible 698 00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:42,440 Speaker 1: for how that conversation is happening and your internal dialogue. 699 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,400 Speaker 1: There are going to be days where it doesn't feel stellar. 700 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:50,560 Speaker 1: You can be someone who appreciates and loves your body 701 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:52,799 Speaker 1: while still showing up in front of the mirror and 702 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:55,200 Speaker 1: being like, I don't feel that great in it today, 703 00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:59,920 Speaker 1: and that's okay. The important part to that is that 704 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,600 Speaker 1: you do something about it. You take ownership over your body. 705 00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,680 Speaker 1: You recognize that, Okay, maybe today's not my day, but 706 00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:10,239 Speaker 1: I'll go for a walk. Later, I'll reach out to 707 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:13,320 Speaker 1: a friend and talk about how I'm feeling. Maybe I'll 708 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,880 Speaker 1: make a therapy appointment for next week, or I will 709 00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:20,600 Speaker 1: prioritize doing something that gives back to my mental health. 710 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:26,680 Speaker 1: The ownership over my well being was the most beautiful, beautiful, 711 00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:32,000 Speaker 1: beautiful realization for me was that it was within my hands. 712 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:36,520 Speaker 1: And although weight loss is a part to my story, 713 00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:39,839 Speaker 1: the number on the scale also isn't the thing that 714 00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:46,040 Speaker 1: determines that your weight is not correlated with your self worth. 715 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:52,279 Speaker 1: I'll say it again, it starts with you everything that 716 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:55,520 Speaker 1: you want to do in your life. If you remember 717 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,319 Speaker 1: that you are the one holding the pen and the 718 00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:00,520 Speaker 1: notebook is in front of you, and that you have 719 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:05,160 Speaker 1: the opportunity to write your story, that is where the 720 00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:10,759 Speaker 1: magic happens. So grab the pen, take that ownership, use 721 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,120 Speaker 1: your agency to get to where you want to be. 722 00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:17,279 Speaker 1: And when you don't have all the answers, don't freak out. 723 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,719 Speaker 1: Don't fret because let me let you in on a 724 00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:21,440 Speaker 1: little secret. 725 00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:25,839 Speaker 2: Nobody does the thing that you have to do. 726 00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:28,200 Speaker 1: And this is something that I've learned with time, is 727 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,040 Speaker 1: that when you don't have the answers, and you are 728 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,440 Speaker 1: seeking assistance, you have to let your guard down and 729 00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:37,080 Speaker 1: ask for it when you need help. Don't let your 730 00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,480 Speaker 1: ego be the thing that stands in your way from 731 00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:46,200 Speaker 1: getting it. I needed help at so many points during 732 00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:51,040 Speaker 1: my journey, I will need help in so many different moments. 733 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:57,040 Speaker 1: Going forward and asking for it and embracing the opportunity 734 00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:01,800 Speaker 1: to get it, that's been one of the most useful, helpful, 735 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:06,560 Speaker 1: wonderful tools in my toolbox. And I recognize now kind 736 00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:10,520 Speaker 1: of bringing this full circle four years in to this show, 737 00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:16,600 Speaker 1: that you all have become the thing that helps me, 738 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,360 Speaker 1: that lifts me up, that so much of this show, 739 00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:24,680 Speaker 1: it's creation, its foundation, its purpose is to help and 740 00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:28,400 Speaker 1: empower you. But in doing that, it's hard for me 741 00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,239 Speaker 1: to articulate just how much this community has helped and 742 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:36,200 Speaker 1: empowered me. And so forty two minutes or so into 743 00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,880 Speaker 1: this thing, I want to say thank you from the 744 00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:40,960 Speaker 1: bottom of my heart for following along with me, for 745 00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:44,440 Speaker 1: keeping up with me, for being a hurdler, and for 746 00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:49,160 Speaker 1: being you because there's only one you, and that's pretty 747 00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:49,759 Speaker 1: damn great. 748 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:56,439 Speaker 2: Under the rest of my weekend, another hurdle conquered. Catch 749 00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:57,279 Speaker 2: you guys next time. 750 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:07,480 Speaker 1: A