WEBVTT - Stories That Will Duo Your Lingo (With Ben Bowlin!)

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<v Speaker 1>Bonjour and bien venitos. Hashtag story Time the podcast where

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<v Speaker 1>I bring you everyday stories from everyday people, brought to

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<v Speaker 1>you by I Heart Radio and Curativity. I'm your host,

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<v Speaker 1>Will Duo, Lingo McFadden and you guys. I was looking

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<v Speaker 1>at some of the back end analytics of the podcast

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<v Speaker 1>and guess what. We have a worldwide presence. We have

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<v Speaker 1>fable babies all around the globe. I mean, did you

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<v Speaker 1>know we have thirty seven listeners in Canada. Yeah, to

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<v Speaker 1>whom I would like to say, Hey, they are all

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<v Speaker 1>you hosers sitting on your chester fields and your get

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<v Speaker 1>drinking your labat. How's it? Welcome to the show, Welcome

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<v Speaker 1>to the pod. We also have we got ten people

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<v Speaker 1>listening to us in Australia. That's cool. Good eye to

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<v Speaker 1>all you Bowgains sitting on you, Donny with your budgie

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<v Speaker 1>smugglers around your ankles. Thanks for listening. We even have

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<v Speaker 1>I think we have three people listening in South Korea,

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<v Speaker 1>to whom I would say, God yae. I'm sure I

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<v Speaker 1>pronounced that perfectly. And you know, for our listeners around

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<v Speaker 1>the world, if you're planning on visiting the United States

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<v Speaker 1>and you don't speak a lot of English. Ay, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>surprised that you're listening to this podcast, um and be,

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<v Speaker 1>here's an important phrase for you to know. Just practice

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<v Speaker 1>this one. Please don't shoot me with your big guns.

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<v Speaker 1>I have ranch dressing for you. This is especially useful

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<v Speaker 1>in the Midwest. You know, there's so much lost in translation.

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<v Speaker 1>Which is a nice segue into our guests on today's show,

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<v Speaker 1>Ben Bolan. And Ben is the executive producer of How

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<v Speaker 1>Stuff Works, and he's the host of About. But you

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<v Speaker 1>probably know him from Stuff they Don't want you to

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<v Speaker 1>Know and Ridiculous History. And Ben told me a story

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<v Speaker 1>that involves a honeymoon, Germans and a misunderstanding. So this

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<v Speaker 1>is this is something that still haunts me to this day.

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<v Speaker 1>I've traveled to many places under many different circumstances. Um.

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<v Speaker 1>I was living homeless in Paris and in the Charles

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<v Speaker 1>de Gaul airport for a while. I was in Central

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<v Speaker 1>America for a while. I'm just saying things didn't always

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<v Speaker 1>work out, and out of out of all those things

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<v Speaker 1>that I can say on air, one of my favorite

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<v Speaker 1>learning experiences in the world of travel was my first

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<v Speaker 1>time in Germany. Have you ever been to Germany, I

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<v Speaker 1>have not is it's on my list, um just under

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<v Speaker 1>Japan and probably Thailand, but it's up there. But I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>first of all, you living homeless at the Charles de

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<v Speaker 1>gaul Airports is like a Tom Hanks movie where he

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<v Speaker 1>is terminal based off but in a oh well, it

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<v Speaker 1>was a shout out to Tom Hanks. It was before terminal,

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<v Speaker 1>or it was before I was aware of terminals, so

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<v Speaker 1>I very much didn't feel cool about it. I was like, look,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a hipster, but this is too much and uh

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<v Speaker 1>that that story. I did not intend to be on

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<v Speaker 1>the streets of Paris, and it wasn't for a long time,

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<v Speaker 1>but I had I had saved up for a return ticket,

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<v Speaker 1>and I in desperation when things fell through. I used

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<v Speaker 1>some change because payphones were thinking that time, and called

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<v Speaker 1>my called my parents and asked them if there was

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<v Speaker 1>any way they could help me out with an earlier ticket,

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<v Speaker 1>and my dad just laughed his ass off and said, no,

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<v Speaker 1>good luck. This is a learning experience. But I did

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<v Speaker 1>make it back. Did you have to like bust your

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<v Speaker 1>way home? Were you doing like chalk art or miming?

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<v Speaker 1>Or there was one busking situation. There was one busking

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<v Speaker 1>situation on the train and it was just um, it

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<v Speaker 1>was some very nice musicians who were like there was

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<v Speaker 1>one day where I was like, you can just kind

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<v Speaker 1>of ride the train forever, right and always loitering. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>just kind of technically I'm going somewhere, and uh, the

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<v Speaker 1>this this group of musicians came in, you know, like

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<v Speaker 1>a accordion, I think a guitar or something like that,

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<v Speaker 1>and they were singing, and they were singing songs in French.

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<v Speaker 1>I also didn't speak French. It was not I was

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<v Speaker 1>not a clever man, and so I uh so they

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<v Speaker 1>started singing, um, what a wonderful world, the Louis Armstrong version,

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<v Speaker 1>and I joined in and well I joined in and

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<v Speaker 1>saying but I was singing in English and they still

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<v Speaker 1>you know, they threw me a little bit of change.

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<v Speaker 1>Was very nice. But with with that experience, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, Okay, you have to be a more

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<v Speaker 1>responsible traveler. If you're going to go to these places,

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<v Speaker 1>you need to be safe. And as cool as it

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<v Speaker 1>is to just drop everything and say I'm gonna go

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<v Speaker 1>blah blah blah, and as much ben as much as

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<v Speaker 1>you dig improv there are some situations where planning is key.

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<v Speaker 1>And so I I thought about this and it's like,

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<v Speaker 1>things are I'm gonna be I'm gonna be classy. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna know what I'm doing. I'm not going to

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<v Speaker 1>be a dumb American tourist, etcetera, etcetera. I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>break that stereotype. And I was okay with it. I

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<v Speaker 1>ended up after Central America marrying my high school sweetheart

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<v Speaker 1>and it was it was so it was a beautiful,

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful moment and it's a beautiful time. Uh. We scrimpt

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<v Speaker 1>and we saved to go on a honeymoon, and this

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<v Speaker 1>was a big expense for us. We wanted to travel

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<v Speaker 1>internationally and my partner at the time, she really really

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to go to Germany. And so this is before

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<v Speaker 1>to date myself further, this is before you know, I

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<v Speaker 1>had a smart phone. This is before I could I

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<v Speaker 1>could pull up a bunch of easily easy to find information.

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<v Speaker 1>So I did. I did serious research Man as someone

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<v Speaker 1>who doesn't speak German. This is after the wall had

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<v Speaker 1>fallen though, right, yes, yes, this yeah not that fun.

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<v Speaker 1>No no, no, So this was um, let's see, this

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<v Speaker 1>is probably early two thousand and and so I so

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<v Speaker 1>I was like a level of planning I had never

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<v Speaker 1>before thought myself capable of, you know, like I knew

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<v Speaker 1>when the plane was gonna land, good job me. I

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<v Speaker 1>knew that there was a hotel we were going to

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<v Speaker 1>go to bonus points there. And I had some mind,

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<v Speaker 1>like I had a rough itinerary. I was like, here's

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<v Speaker 1>some historic sites we can see, you know, and you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll even like I'll figure out a romantic dinner situation. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like this sometime map west to write like

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<v Speaker 1>where you printed quest? I printed directions, you know what

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<v Speaker 1>I mean? I printed out directions. I had a little folder.

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<v Speaker 1>It was adorable. So so the day cups and we travel.

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<v Speaker 1>I think, first we land in London, and we're in

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<v Speaker 1>London for a few days, and there's something just um,

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<v Speaker 1>no one's cliche to say, but there's something like romantic

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<v Speaker 1>about not having a ton of money but being with

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<v Speaker 1>a person you love and like you. You hear you

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<v Speaker 1>hear that situation, and some parts of our heads just

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<v Speaker 1>kind of say romance and italicized fonts and we don't

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<v Speaker 1>need we just have each other and that's all we need.

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly exactly that was anyway, So London, it turns out,

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<v Speaker 1>is kind of pricing us. So we we left. We

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<v Speaker 1>we had already been planning to go to Germany, but

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<v Speaker 1>we had a few days in London, and then we

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<v Speaker 1>left London. We're landing in Berlin, and this is the moment.

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<v Speaker 1>Will I have spent months sort of trying to learn

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<v Speaker 1>all this sort of stuff. I didn't want my partner

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<v Speaker 1>to have to worry about everything. And one of the

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<v Speaker 1>things I did, despite not uh not not knowing a

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<v Speaker 1>leak of German, as I have memorized German phrases, and

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I was well aware and this is a

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<v Speaker 1>true thing for people who haven't been to Europe. I

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<v Speaker 1>was well aware that many residents of Western Europe, regardless

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<v Speaker 1>of the country the official language, they probably speak a

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<v Speaker 1>better version of English than a lot of US Americans.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot of them speak for languages, no problem um.

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<v Speaker 1>And the extent of my German, just so you know,

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<v Speaker 1>is from the time I played the m C in

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<v Speaker 1>Cabaret in in two thousands. Oh Man, I wish you

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<v Speaker 1>had been there with me in Germany. I could have

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<v Speaker 1>used a hand and you know, beyond my way through

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<v Speaker 1>this exactly, so I quickly learned, like I knew most

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<v Speaker 1>people would probably speak English on some level, especially you know,

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<v Speaker 1>the capital of German it's an international city, Berld. So

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<v Speaker 1>I immediately was locked and loaded with my thank yous

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<v Speaker 1>and my excuse me and where where is the bathroom?

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<v Speaker 1>Etcetera's uh, but I got a lot of I got

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of stuff wrong. We were walking widely and

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<v Speaker 1>we're using the training system, and my first encounter with

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<v Speaker 1>a German authority, like after getting out of customs was

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<v Speaker 1>a guy. A guy came up and said something to

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<v Speaker 1>me in German, and I didn't understand what he was saying,

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<v Speaker 1>so I just kind of like shrugged and what I

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<v Speaker 1>hoped was an endearing and innocent way. And then something

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<v Speaker 1>like he knew immediately that we were from the US,

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<v Speaker 1>because he just sort of took a breath, tried not

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<v Speaker 1>to roll his eyes, and he said tickets in English,

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<v Speaker 1>and in English, I replied, oh, I'm sorry, man, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't have any money. I don't have any two and

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<v Speaker 1>he goes, I'm asking to check your tickets and oh

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<v Speaker 1>you work here, Oh ship, my bad dude. And then

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<v Speaker 1>he wasn't amused, but he was he was nice enough,

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<v Speaker 1>so we continue on, and I'm thinking, and I'm talking

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<v Speaker 1>to my wife at the time, and I say, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>we'll call her Kate for the purposes of this story,

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<v Speaker 1>So you know, O, Kate. I feel like, I know

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<v Speaker 1>every country has a stereotype, and I know stereotypes are

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<v Speaker 1>the source of terrible, terrible things. But did these German

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<v Speaker 1>folks seem a little bit kind of like cold, do you, well,

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<v Speaker 1>a little brusque and it's so warm and fuzzy, not

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<v Speaker 1>so not so warm and fuzzy. Yeah. Not one stranger

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<v Speaker 1>hugged me. But but uh, but she pointed out we're

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<v Speaker 1>from the southeastern United States, which is a place that

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<v Speaker 1>is known for being a little more outgoing, being a

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<v Speaker 1>little more casual with whomever. Um, and I wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>bust these stereotypes, even though I thought she had a point.

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<v Speaker 1>So my phrase that I was very proud of that

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<v Speaker 1>I had worked on and like, I had like fifteen phrases,

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<v Speaker 1>ten of which were useful, four of which were pretty

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<v Speaker 1>good max it was terrible, but four of which like

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<v Speaker 1>would be intelligible. And one of the ones I was

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<v Speaker 1>most proud of is that if people came up to

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<v Speaker 1>us and we're speaking to us in German. I would

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<v Speaker 1>try my best. That was my rule. I try my

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<v Speaker 1>best to speak some German if they happened to ask

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<v Speaker 1>a question that could be answered one of these fifteen ways.

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<v Speaker 1>But my emergency, man, my escape hatch was if if

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<v Speaker 1>their German is too faster, if I'm clearly over my head,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll say I'm sorry, my German is not good enough

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<v Speaker 1>to continue this conversation. Can we continue in English? And

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<v Speaker 1>I deployed this strategy advanced sentence right there to say

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<v Speaker 1>all I know is which is I love you? Which

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I would also, you know, get you

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<v Speaker 1>out of a situation. I should have learned that way.

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<v Speaker 1>Where was that anyway? So so I so we're like

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<v Speaker 1>walking on the street, and we're here for a period

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<v Speaker 1>of weeks walking on the street, and sometimes people will

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<v Speaker 1>just come up and ask us stuff. You know, this

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<v Speaker 1>is around this around winter, So they're the Christmas markets

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<v Speaker 1>are in full swing, people are in a generally good mood.

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<v Speaker 1>Vikings are in the street, yes, yes, uh and and everybody.

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<v Speaker 1>And I didn't know that either. Every You can drink

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<v Speaker 1>anywhere in Germany, and you could buy beer everywhere. It's weird.

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<v Speaker 1>It sounds you know about right, It's like it's like

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<v Speaker 1>the Las Vegas of h I love that. Yeah, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>that's the quotable. So this so I would have this

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<v Speaker 1>experience that became increasingly common for some reason or another.

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<v Speaker 1>We'd be talking to someone alright, you know, like go

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<v Speaker 1>to a restaurant, try to order something, and I would

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<v Speaker 1>butcher the German and they would still respond to German.

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<v Speaker 1>And I would say, I'm sorry, my German is not

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<v Speaker 1>good enough to continue this conversation. Can we continue in English?

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<v Speaker 1>And then they would pause and I could feel the

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<v Speaker 1>temperature ticked down, and then they would say yes, and

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<v Speaker 1>we would have this very chilling, cold, perfunctory kind of

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<v Speaker 1>conversation in English, and we we stayed at a hostile again,

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<v Speaker 1>financial concerns being a thing. And after about two weeks,

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<v Speaker 1>I was convinced that some stereotypes are true. And I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, maybe I'm maybe I'm too warm and fuzzy,

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<v Speaker 1>but I feel like this city, if not this country

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<v Speaker 1>is not not hostile, but not they're not sweethearts, that's

0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:24.040
<v Speaker 1>for sure. And it had me had me thinking all

0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:27.640
<v Speaker 1>these horrible things. I was like man World War two though,

0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:35.560
<v Speaker 1>like m and so I just what happened during I

0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:41.240
<v Speaker 1>know I didn't we should have gone to Prague. We

0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:43.360
<v Speaker 1>should have gone Yeah, we should have gone to Prague.

0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:46.000
<v Speaker 1>And uh I would say stuff like this to my

0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:48.840
<v Speaker 1>to my wife, and she would go, well, you know,

0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:51.960
<v Speaker 1>assumptions are bad, blah blah, and she kind of cut

0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:56.520
<v Speaker 1>the conversation off. So fast forward end of our trip.

0:14:57.840 --> 0:15:00.720
<v Speaker 1>This is also this is also a and I don't

0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:02.800
<v Speaker 1>mean to bring us down here, but this is also

0:15:03.920 --> 0:15:07.240
<v Speaker 1>right after during our honeymoon, we had decided it wasn't

0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:10.360
<v Speaker 1>gonna work out and we were going to be friends.

0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:12.840
<v Speaker 1>But we were like, well, we're gonna have to break up.

0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:17.360
<v Speaker 1>And there was no huge dramatic fight or anything like that.

0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:21.360
<v Speaker 1>These are too to emotionally aware people making a mutual decision.

0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:25.760
<v Speaker 1>But did did Germany and the did did the honeymoon

0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:29.880
<v Speaker 1>location have anything to do if you maybe in Hawaii

0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:33.840
<v Speaker 1>when things have been different? You know, That's that's a

0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:38.280
<v Speaker 1>question I've asked myself sometimes. But but here's what happened.

0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:42.800
<v Speaker 1>So it's fast forward. It's like the very last day,

0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:45.480
<v Speaker 1>it's the penultimate days, second last day before we leave,

0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:50.520
<v Speaker 1>and I'm in the lobby of the hostel and someone

0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:55.080
<v Speaker 1>who was also staying at the hostel. It comes up

0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:57.440
<v Speaker 1>there talking to me in German about something. So I say,

0:15:57.800 --> 0:15:59.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, my German is not good enough to continue

0:15:59.880 --> 0:16:03.400
<v Speaker 1>the conversation. Could we continue in English? And this lady stops,

0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:08.080
<v Speaker 1>she pauses, and then in a flawless American accent, she says,

0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:12.320
<v Speaker 1>you're a dick and leaves. And the person at the

0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:16.320
<v Speaker 1>counter of the hostel who's working there cracks up. It's

0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:21.040
<v Speaker 1>like she is laughing. She's actually laughing. I turned around, like, go,

0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:23.960
<v Speaker 1>what happened? You know, I'm worried that I did something.

0:16:24.040 --> 0:16:28.440
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know what I could have done. What I know?

0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:31.880
<v Speaker 1>She says, you know, do you know? Do you know

0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:34.080
<v Speaker 1>what you're saying? I said, yeah, I'm saying blah blah

0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:38.760
<v Speaker 1>blah blah. And she said, no, you're saying, I'm sorry,

0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:42.120
<v Speaker 1>your German is not good enough to continue. Can we

0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:46.840
<v Speaker 1>continue this conversation in English? And she told me the

0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:50.800
<v Speaker 1>right like the German way, and and I said, oh shit,

0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:54.800
<v Speaker 1>I've been saying that like everybody. And she goes, I know,

0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:58.400
<v Speaker 1>I know, I've seen it. And then and then I

0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:01.440
<v Speaker 1>go and I run up stairs, I get I get

0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:05.320
<v Speaker 1>my wife. I'm like Kate, I fucked something up and

0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:08.200
<v Speaker 1>and I was wrong. It's not a stereotype, it's us

0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:12.560
<v Speaker 1>and she goes, oh yeah, oh yeah, the yeah I know.

0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:15.360
<v Speaker 1>And it's like you knew this whole time and she's

0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:19.000
<v Speaker 1>like yeah, She's like it's hilarious, right, Like, no, it's

0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:25.000
<v Speaker 1>not hilarious. And so I I was trying to apologize

0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:27.680
<v Speaker 1>to people in the hostel. I went back to this restaurant,

0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:32.040
<v Speaker 1>was like, hey, I know, things MA bad and uh it.

0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:34.800
<v Speaker 1>Maybe I made it a bigger issue than it actually was.

0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:37.800
<v Speaker 1>But if you are a German speaker, if you live

0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:53.840
<v Speaker 1>in Germany, I would like to officially apologize. Welcome back.

0:17:53.880 --> 0:17:57.360
<v Speaker 1>It's time for everybody's favorite segment, Robo Read It Reads Now.

0:17:57.480 --> 0:18:01.280
<v Speaker 1>In Ben's story, our robot interns detective the word wedding,

0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:04.520
<v Speaker 1>then scanned read it and found a thread where user

0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:08.640
<v Speaker 1>Olya ru asked what wedding moment made you think they're

0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:10.560
<v Speaker 1>not going to make it? And here are some of

0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:13.640
<v Speaker 1>the best answers. One of my good friends got married

0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:16.480
<v Speaker 1>and on the wedding day she was belligerently drunk before

0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:19.919
<v Speaker 1>the ceremony even started and couldn't even get through the lines.

0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:22.520
<v Speaker 1>She was supposed to repeat, such as I promised to

0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:26.560
<v Speaker 1>love you. She ended up slapping the groom, spilling champagne

0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:29.160
<v Speaker 1>on her dress, and then crying under a table while

0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:32.600
<v Speaker 1>he tried to comfort her. They lasted about four months.

0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:35.119
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's never a good sign if you're actively

0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:37.720
<v Speaker 1>trying to erase the memory of what is supposed to

0:18:37.720 --> 0:18:40.000
<v Speaker 1>be the happiest day of your life. Look, some people

0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:42.760
<v Speaker 1>make a baby on their wedding night. Other people turn

0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:46.639
<v Speaker 1>into one. My wife got invited to a client's daughter's wedding.

0:18:47.000 --> 0:18:50.400
<v Speaker 1>The couple were both drama students. Many of the bridal

0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:54.200
<v Speaker 1>party were drama students. The maid of honors toast consisted

0:18:54.240 --> 0:18:57.639
<v Speaker 1>of tearful declarations of unrequited love to the groom along

0:18:57.680 --> 0:18:59.960
<v Speaker 1>the lines of if it couldn't be me, I'm glad

0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:03.639
<v Speaker 1>it's my best friend that's marrying you. The best man's

0:19:03.680 --> 0:19:06.800
<v Speaker 1>speech was a lusty declaration of if it doesn't work out,

0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:10.040
<v Speaker 1>call me babe, like the previous time you called me.

0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:13.800
<v Speaker 1>Other toasts were similarly weird. A guy at the table

0:19:13.880 --> 0:19:15.960
<v Speaker 1>I was seated it was a friend of the bride,

0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:18.159
<v Speaker 1>and said to me that he was this close to

0:19:18.280 --> 0:19:21.240
<v Speaker 1>standing up during the speed now or Forever Hold your

0:19:21.320 --> 0:19:24.560
<v Speaker 1>Peace thing. I'm still not sure if the whole thing

0:19:24.680 --> 0:19:27.440
<v Speaker 1>was a bunch of emotionally fucked up twenty year old

0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:31.080
<v Speaker 1>or one big piece of performance art, I would totally

0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:35.080
<v Speaker 1>go see that play. Also, haven't these people heard of polyamory?

0:19:35.080 --> 0:19:37.239
<v Speaker 1>This can all work. They can have their cake and

0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:40.199
<v Speaker 1>fuck it. Do not the couple getting married, but the

0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:42.560
<v Speaker 1>best man and maid of honor who were married to

0:19:42.600 --> 0:19:45.760
<v Speaker 1>each other. Best man's speech was all about how hard

0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:48.199
<v Speaker 1>it was to be married. I've been married for a

0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:51.680
<v Speaker 1>year and it feels like one hundred years made of honor,

0:19:51.800 --> 0:19:54.320
<v Speaker 1>stands up to give a speech and just says ditto.

0:19:54.880 --> 0:19:57.800
<v Speaker 1>It was so awkward and really brought the whole room down.

0:19:58.160 --> 0:20:00.600
<v Speaker 1>Best man and maid of honor were to worst within

0:20:00.640 --> 0:20:03.760
<v Speaker 1>a year. Couple who got married are still married thirty

0:20:03.760 --> 0:20:07.560
<v Speaker 1>plus years later. I sometimes wonder if the speeches actually

0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:09.720
<v Speaker 1>were helpful in how not to act as a couple.

0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:11.639
<v Speaker 1>Next time I have to give a speech at a wedding,

0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:15.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm just saying, dittoh, I don't care what the person

0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:17.640
<v Speaker 1>before me said, That's all I'm saying. When a couple

0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:19.520
<v Speaker 1>was doing the vows and the priest got to the

0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:21.920
<v Speaker 1>for richer or poorer part, and she said for richer

0:20:22.000 --> 0:20:25.400
<v Speaker 1>or richer, and maybe for poorer. The officiant was not pleased.

0:20:25.880 --> 0:20:28.920
<v Speaker 1>I think they made it a year. This lady sounds

0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:31.840
<v Speaker 1>like the worst. But the officiant was like in sickness

0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:34.000
<v Speaker 1>or in health, and she was like, I mean, as

0:20:34.000 --> 0:20:37.280
<v Speaker 1>long as he's not like super sick, because that would

0:20:37.280 --> 0:20:46.040
<v Speaker 1>be gross. She was like, I do, I guess, and

0:20:46.119 --> 0:20:50.400
<v Speaker 1>these are all reasons why I'm never getting married. Thank you, robots.

0:20:50.960 --> 0:20:52.480
<v Speaker 1>Do you have a cringey story you want to share

0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:54.760
<v Speaker 1>with your best friends on hashtag storytime. We'll let us

0:20:54.840 --> 0:20:57.679
<v Speaker 1>know on our Instagram at story time dot pod, or

0:20:57.800 --> 0:21:01.320
<v Speaker 1>call the Storytime hotline at three to three seven one

0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:05.679
<v Speaker 1>eighteen seventy three. Take a second and hit subscribe so

0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:09.280
<v Speaker 1>you don't miss next week's episode featuring Mike John's Here's

0:21:09.280 --> 0:21:13.199
<v Speaker 1>a sneaky, little peaky and then a barker climbs up

0:21:13.240 --> 0:21:15.840
<v Speaker 1>into the ring and he starts shouting at the crowd.

0:21:16.119 --> 0:21:21.480
<v Speaker 1>We're here today to see the battle between the literary

0:21:21.560 --> 0:21:27.439
<v Speaker 1>giant Michael Mohammed Knight and the literal giant Abdullah the Butcher.

0:21:28.000 --> 0:21:30.600
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much for listening to hashtag storytime. I'd

0:21:30.600 --> 0:21:34.200
<v Speaker 1>love to give another big don kashin to Ben Boland

0:21:34.240 --> 0:21:36.560
<v Speaker 1>for being on the podcast. As always. You can find

0:21:36.600 --> 0:21:38.520
<v Speaker 1>links to all the awesome stuff he has going on

0:21:38.680 --> 0:21:41.359
<v Speaker 1>in the description. If you're enjoying the podcast, please leave

0:21:41.440 --> 0:21:43.479
<v Speaker 1>us a review. It helps us out a lot and

0:21:43.560 --> 0:21:47.280
<v Speaker 1>I literally read every single one of them. Hashtag Storytime

0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:50.600
<v Speaker 1>is produced by I Heart Radio and Curativity Productions. Hosted

0:21:50.600 --> 0:21:53.760
<v Speaker 1>by Will McFadden. Sound designed by Tony Maddox, written by

0:21:53.760 --> 0:21:57.119
<v Speaker 1>Will McFadden and Jason Shapiro, Produced by Jason Shapiro, Daniel

0:21:57.200 --> 0:22:00.160
<v Speaker 1>La Mora and Jordan Elijah Michael. Theme song by Scott

0:22:00.160 --> 0:22:10.119
<v Speaker 1>Timon's artwork by John Kuzagah