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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you

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Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com. And you know,

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Speaker 1: you never know, we could be reading your letter live

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Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're going to read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now, and it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thanking if you subject my neighbor hid my side, dude.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been married for almost ten years.

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Speaker 1: My husband had a baby with another woman six years

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Speaker 1: ago and things haven't been the same since then. I

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Speaker 1: was broken and felt like I was not good enough

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Speaker 1: to be loved. I left my husband for two years,

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Speaker 1: and he got baptized and gave his testimony to the

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Speaker 1: church and asked for forgiveness. Our pastor pressured me to

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Speaker 1: move back home and fix my marriage. I embraced my

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Speaker 1: stepdaughter and we're now, but my husband and I were

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Speaker 1: never the same. I confided with one of the choir

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Speaker 1: members at our church and he knew my history with

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Speaker 1: my husband. We ended up having a sexual and a

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Speaker 1: spiritual connection, and it's helped with my self esteem. My

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Speaker 1: boyfriend started coming to our house and he parked in

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Speaker 1: my neighbor's driveway to hide his car. My neighbor was

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Speaker 1: cool with it and said she was happy that I

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Speaker 1: was getting my group back. I trusted her with my secret.

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Speaker 1: I figured my boyfriend wouldn't hurt me since he knew

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Speaker 1: about trauma I had been through. Sunday, my husband was

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Speaker 1: at work, so my boyfriend said he would stop by

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Speaker 1: for a quickie after church. I skipped church to prepare

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Speaker 1: for him. Around two pm, I started calling and texting him,

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Speaker 1: but he didn't answer. I called to ask my neighbor

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Speaker 1: if she'd seen him, and she didn't answer. I have

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Speaker 1: to walk around her house to see her driveway, and

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Speaker 1: my intuition told me to go over there. My boyfriend's

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Speaker 1: car was right there. I knocked and my boyfriend came

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Speaker 1: to the door shirtless. He said I'm sorry. I tried

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Speaker 1: to push past him to get to my neighbor, but

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Speaker 1: he strong armed me. They said they would call the

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Speaker 1: police if I didn't leave. My neighbor hid my side

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Speaker 1: dude from me, and I'm not losing another man. How

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Speaker 1: does this keep happening. That's the wrong question you should

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Speaker 1: be asking, how how did this happen? How do you

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Speaker 1: move on from this mess? I mean, one thing for sure,

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Speaker 1: one thing for sure in this letter is that none

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Speaker 1: of you guys need to be cheating, None of you,

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Speaker 1: from your husband to you, to your side dude, to

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Speaker 1: your neighbor. You're all very bad at cheating, and then

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Speaker 1: you get mean with it when you get caught, like

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Speaker 1: you know your boyfriend and your neighbor did. That was

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Speaker 1: terrible what they did, said they were going to call

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Speaker 1: the police on you. You're all very bad at it,

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Speaker 1: and your pastor should have stayed out of your business.

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Speaker 1: He was wrong too, You were vulnerable, you were broken

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Speaker 1: at the time. He had no right to pressure you

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Speaker 1: to take your husband back after your husband had a

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Speaker 1: baby with another woman. Okay, that's strictly your decision. He

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Speaker 1: should have recommended therapy or counseling or something like that

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Speaker 1: for you guys, so you could regain some self esteem

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Speaker 1: and maybe start a forgiveness process. Whether you took him

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Speaker 1: back or not, you guys could have at least talked

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Speaker 1: it out or tried You and your husband I think

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Speaker 1: would have been much better going your separate ways, because

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Speaker 1: you said your marriage was never the same after the baby,

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Speaker 1: and that's understandable. And I know it's possible to forgive,

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Speaker 1: but to get back with your husband after that kind

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Speaker 1: of betrayal is nearly impossible. And by the way I

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Speaker 1: say thank you, I do want to thank you for

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Speaker 1: embracing the baby because it's definitely, definitely not her fault.

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Speaker 1: She's an innocent bystander in all of this. But it's over.

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Speaker 1: It's over now. You and your husband may as well

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Speaker 1: stop the bleeding, get a divorce, and I suggest you

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Speaker 1: changed churches and if you can move, because this is

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Speaker 1: just a mess, your neighbor, it's just too messy.

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Speaker 3: Steve Well, you know this letter has I think Shirley

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Speaker 3: pointed it out, but this letter has a lot of

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Speaker 3: people doing a lot of wrong stuff in this letter.

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Speaker 3: And it's so much wrong in this letter that there's

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Speaker 3: no right that can come out of it.

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Speaker 2: I mean there is.

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Speaker 3: I've only found one right thing you did in this

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Speaker 3: letter that I thought had bore married.

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Speaker 2: I'll share it with you.

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Speaker 3: You've been married for ten years, your husband had a

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Speaker 3: baby with another woman six years ago, and things haven't

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Speaker 3: been the same. Since then I was broken, felt like

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Speaker 3: you weren't good enough to be loved. Now, you left

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Speaker 3: your husband for two years.

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Speaker 2: You didn't divorce him.

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Speaker 3: You left him for two years so you all were

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Speaker 3: still married. That's how you got to the total of

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Speaker 3: ten years.

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Speaker 2: So you left him for two years.

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Speaker 3: He got baptized, gave his testimony to the church and

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Speaker 3: asked for forgiveness. Fine, y'all could have forgave it, but

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Speaker 3: then you pucked your pastor pressured you to move back

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Speaker 3: home and fix my marriage. Here's a problem. You didn't

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Speaker 3: even want your husband back. You was gone for two

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Speaker 3: years trying to pull yourself together. You didn't even want him.

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Speaker 3: Why would you move back in a house to repair

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Speaker 3: a marriage that you don't even want. You could have

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Speaker 3: forgave him, but forgiven it don't mean forgetting. I learned

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Speaker 3: that from Bishop Jacobs. Now here's the only redeeming thing.

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Speaker 3: I embraced my stepdaughter and with Bestie's. Now well, if

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Speaker 3: that's admirable, love it. But my husband and I were

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Speaker 3: never the same. The reason you were never the same

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Speaker 3: was because you might have forgiven him, but you couldn't

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Speaker 3: forget with him, and you were never comfortable with him

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Speaker 3: and his explanation of it. I confided in one of

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Speaker 3: the choir members at your church. He knew your history

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Speaker 3: with your husband. Y'all end up having sex and a

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Speaker 3: spiritual connection, and it helped me with myself.

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Speaker 2: Esteve, Why do people mix God with their sin?

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Speaker 3: So you have a sexual relationship with the choir member,

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Speaker 3: So you want to throw the lawd in it because

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Speaker 3: it was a spiritual connection, No, it wasn't. It was

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Speaker 3: a church connection. He was a chome member and you

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Speaker 3: are a regular member and ain't a spiritual connection.

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Speaker 2: Y'all met at the church.

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Speaker 1: Hang on, Steve, hang on, we'll have that too. Your

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Speaker 1: response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry letter, subject my neighbor hid my side dude.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 1: Steve Hardy Morning Show.

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Speaker 2: Come on, Steve.

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Speaker 1: Let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject my neighbor hid

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Speaker 1: my side dude.

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Speaker 3: Okay, quickly, lady was married for ten years, six years ago.

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Speaker 3: If her husband had an affair, had a baby with

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Speaker 3: another woman, and things ain't been the same since you

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Speaker 3: were broken.

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Speaker 2: You left your husband for two.

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Speaker 3: Years for two years, but you were still married, but

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Speaker 3: you left him for two years. Now he got baptized

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Speaker 3: and gave his testimony to the church and asked for forgiveness.

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Speaker 3: Then your pastor pressured me to move back home and

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Speaker 3: fix my marriage problem with that.

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Speaker 2: You didn't want to.

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Speaker 3: You didn't want to, and like Shirley said, pastor really

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Speaker 3: should have stayed out of it. But pastors should have

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Speaker 3: been more concerned with the way you were feeling. You

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Speaker 3: should have went and talked to somebody about what you

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Speaker 3: was feeling, because you didn't even want the man back.

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Speaker 2: So now you took him back and you worked on it.

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Speaker 3: But you embraced your step daughter and y'all besties, which

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Speaker 3: is good of you. But you and your husband were

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Speaker 3: never the same because you couldn't move past And if

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Speaker 3: you can't move.

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Speaker 2: Past it, then you got to move on. That's what

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Speaker 2: we should do.

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Speaker 3: If you can't get past the cheating, then you got

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Speaker 3: to get past the relationship. Just move on or else

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Speaker 3: you're gonna live there trying to grapple with And it

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Speaker 3: ain't your fault. I confind it with the choir members

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Speaker 3: at our church. He knew your history with your husband.

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Speaker 3: We ended up having a sexual and spiritual connection and

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Speaker 3: help with my self esteem. Oh now because somebody won't you,

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Speaker 3: which ain't hard to find. Now your self esteem is over.

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Speaker 3: But now y'all want to have a sexual and spiritual connection.

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Speaker 3: It's not a spiritual connection, it's just a church connection.

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Speaker 3: He just a dude in a choir that knew you

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Speaker 3: was broken and vulnerable, stepped in and said all the

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Speaker 3: things you wanted to hear, and now he at you.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend started coming to our house and he would

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Speaker 3: park in my neighbor's driveway to hide his car. So

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Speaker 3: now you're married, but now you got this boyfriend that's coming.

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Speaker 2: Over your house.

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Speaker 3: That know you married, and parking in your neighbor's driveway

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Speaker 3: to hide his car. My neighbor was cool with it,

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Speaker 3: says she was happy. I was getting my groove back

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Speaker 3: all this while you was married. Now I ain't I

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Speaker 3: understand where you're coming from, because you was hurt and

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Speaker 3: it's to get back moved. I got that, But you

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Speaker 3: do know this ain't cool. And if it was cool,

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Speaker 3: you wouldn't have had to hide his car in your

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Speaker 3: neighbor's drive I trusted her with my secret. I figured

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Speaker 3: my boyfriend wouldn't hurt me since he knew about the

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Speaker 3: trauma I had been through. Your boyfriend was the one

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Speaker 3: who took advantage of your trump. Now you're thinking he

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Speaker 3: won't hurt you. What did he did that won't hurt you?

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Speaker 2: Why?

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Speaker 3: Because he wanted to sleep with you. Give you your

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Speaker 3: groove back, give yourself esteem back. You misunderstood what this

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Speaker 3: was for a lady. Sunday, my husband was at work,

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Speaker 3: so my boyfriend said he stopped by for a quickie

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Speaker 3: after church.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he taking care of you. Oh he cared

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Speaker 2: about you. You down to a quickie? Now?

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Speaker 3: I skipped church to prepare for him. Now you ain't

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Speaker 3: even going down there to see God no more, so

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Speaker 3: you stay at the house and get touched up on

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Speaker 3: her quicket. I don't know how y'all think some good

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Speaker 3: supposed to come out of this? You skipping church now

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Speaker 3: so you can get done. I skipped church to prepare

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Speaker 3: for him. Around two pm. I started calling and texting him,

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Speaker 3: but he didn't answer. I called her as my neighbor

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Speaker 3: had seen him. She ain't asked. I had to walk

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Speaker 3: around to her house to see her driveway, and my

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Speaker 3: intuition had told me to go over there. My boyfriend's

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Speaker 3: call was right there, right there. I knocked, and my

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Speaker 3: boyfriend came to the door shirtless. He opened the door

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Speaker 3: and said, I'm sorry, damn bet, I'm sorry. I'm so

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Speaker 3: sorry that the.

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Speaker 2: Dog that I am.

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Speaker 3: And now you know, because I was just taking advantage

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Speaker 3: of your situa, I mean, what you want me to do?

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Speaker 3: You got her husband? He just up at the church

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Speaker 3: right now, So I was just gonna come back tap

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Speaker 3: right quick. And then you know, I was over here

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Speaker 3: with your neighbor, and your neighbor know I'm tapping, and

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Speaker 3: then looking look at your neighbor, you know, she said, Well,

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Speaker 3: since you're over there tapping, I ain't got nobody. You

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Speaker 3: can park in my driveway. You might as well come

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Speaker 3: on in. What did you hiding, folks, cause I ain't

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Speaker 3: gonna hide. You can park in my driveway. Everybody see.

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Speaker 3: You'll call over him. Let's gonna do this here, he said,

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I tried to push past him to get

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Speaker 3: to my neighbor, but he's strong army.

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Speaker 2: Now, Now what you gonna with the neighbor? Ass?

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Speaker 3: You the one married your neighbors sinks. The shirtless dude

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Speaker 3: is the one that went over there. What you pushing

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Speaker 3: past him for? See, you got all to blame in

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Speaker 3: the wrong place. They said they will call the police

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Speaker 3: and off now they finna turn your ass.

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Speaker 2: Who damn what happened to black lives?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 2: Lord himbers?

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Speaker 3: What what happened to black lives?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 3: Now they I finna call the police on your ass?

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Speaker 3: You got to get back over to the because your

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Speaker 3: husband gonna wonder what do they call the police?

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Speaker 2: Own it? Because the choir boy was over here without

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Speaker 2: his shirt on.

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Speaker 3: My neighbor hid my side dude from me, And I'm

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Speaker 3: not losing another man.

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Speaker 2: He not your man.

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Speaker 3: Your man is at the house, the one you didn't want,

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Speaker 3: the one that got the other lady pregnant while y'all

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Speaker 3: was married. He your man. You nothing to lose another man.

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Speaker 3: He not your man.

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Speaker 2: He choir boy.

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Speaker 3: Y'all need to do some word research on him because

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Speaker 3: that ain't his only stop. How does this keep happening

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Speaker 3: to me? Because you keep thinking wrong. First of all,

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Speaker 3: you took a man back you didn't want. Then you

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Speaker 3: started sleeping with a man that didn't want you. You

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Speaker 3: see what's having So everybody is aligned with they needs

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Speaker 3: and ain't nobody caring about none of your needs. You

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Speaker 3: need to take some time to do you. You spend

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Speaker 3: time with you and cut off all these losers loose.

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Speaker 3: You need to move out to the house with your

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Speaker 3: husband because that ain't working.

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Speaker 1: Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram, at

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast

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Speaker 1: on demand. Coming up next to is Junior and Sports Talk.

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Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening Day Harvey Morning Show.