1 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:08,080 Speaker 1: This is Let's be clear with Shannon Doherty. Hello, let's 2 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: be clear, family. This is your girl, Gertia Brera and 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,880 Speaker 1: you may know me from the Real Housewives of Miami. 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 1: But today I am honored to be hosting an episode 5 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,640 Speaker 1: on behalf of Shannon Dougherty's podcast. And I'm joined by 6 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 1: somebody very very amazing and super quiet, so people think, 7 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: and that is my husband, Russell. Hey boy, hey, hello, hello, hello. 8 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: Oh so one word wonder sometimes Anyway, before Shannon passed away, 9 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: I was in talks with her team actually to be 10 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,839 Speaker 1: on her show to share my journey and experience with 11 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:46,279 Speaker 1: my breast cancer. And what happened was you know, obviously 12 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: you know I wasn't able to and although I wish 13 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: I could have spoken to her directly, I'm here today 14 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,840 Speaker 1: to honor her memory and just to continue her mission 15 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 1: by guest hosting Let's be clear, So don't be too 16 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:00,959 Speaker 1: harsh on me. This is my first time hosting actual podcast. 17 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:04,160 Speaker 1: I'm a little nervous, but my major was communication arts 18 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: in college, so I think I could handle this a 19 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 1: little bit. Babe, what do you think you'll do? 20 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,360 Speaker 2: Fine? Know how to speak? 21 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm very very worthy, but anyway, we're young, young, 22 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: we've been together for a very long time, and I 23 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: think that you know, he's not only just my husband, obviously, 24 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,679 Speaker 1: he's the father of my amazing two boys, and he 25 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: also took a very very big role in my cancer 26 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:32,479 Speaker 1: journey recovery. People like to say caretaker, I call him 27 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: a care viver, And he really has a completely different 28 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: perspective than me, specifically as he was trying to hold 29 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: it down for me to be the strong one on 30 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: behalf of us. And I think a lot of our viewers, 31 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: those who have gone through such medical you know, traumas 32 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna call it, you know how it is when 33 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,760 Speaker 1: that person trying is trying to hold you down, but 34 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 1: are they okay? So today we're going to just open 35 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 1: up that conversation just to you know, put it out 36 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: there and see, you know, people can resonate with this 37 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: dynamic as a couple to a caregiver you know, slash 38 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: patient and how do you come back from that into 39 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: what you used to were, what you used to be? 40 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 1: And we all know this is now called the new normal. 41 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 1: We're not living in the past. We're now, you know, 42 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: people living in the future and trying to make it, 43 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:22,959 Speaker 1: you know, make it work. So Russell my darling, Yes, 44 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 1: why don't you tell the viewers a little synopsis on 45 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: how we met so that they can get a sense 46 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: of our dynamic. 47 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:38,279 Speaker 2: It's a long time ago, very long time ago, nineteen nineties. 48 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 2: We've been together a long time. High school. We met 49 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 2: first time in tenth grade. You played obviously volleyball, not obviously, 50 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 2: but you played volleyball. I was playing basketball. Your coach. 51 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 1: Was recruiting, recruiting me. 52 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,519 Speaker 2: To play on the volleyball team. So that's how we 53 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 2: met in the gym at North Miami Senior High playing You. 54 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,799 Speaker 1: Gotta gave him the high school now, come on, now 55 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: would be digging up our pioneers, our yearbooks. 56 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 2: So, yeah, we we met there. We caught each other's. 57 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 1: Eye to the point, boy, have we met? Okay, So 58 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:20,960 Speaker 1: we were looking at each other. I thought you were cute. 59 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 1: You thought I was cute. And then the hallway encounter. 60 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 2: Go ahead, well that fast forward to our senior year, 61 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 2: the beginning of our senior year, and yeah, you you 62 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 2: started saying hi to me in the hallways, and I 63 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 2: was like, oh, this is interesting. 64 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: Because I was being classy, classy. 65 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 2: I said Okay, well you said hi. I you know, 66 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 2: I'm polite. I say hi too, and you you have 67 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 2: a different story about that. 68 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 1: But because you're so shy, because Russell is so quiet 69 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: and calm, and because I'm so loud, I'm like, Hi, Russell, 70 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: and literally I hear nothing. He claims that he was 71 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 1: like hi, but I literally heard nothing. So what was 72 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: my thought. I'm like, Okay, this this little whiteboard right here, 73 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 1: it is cute and all, but he's either rude or 74 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 1: he's a freaking racist. We're gonna get to the bottom 75 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 1: of this real quick. So strike one, Hi Russell Gurdy. Okay, Wow, 76 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 1: this guy's rude. 77 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 2: The hallways are loud. 78 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: Uh huh right, excues Strike two, Hi Russell, yeah gerdy, 79 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: oh wow. 80 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:21,600 Speaker 2: Okay. 81 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: And then next time I said, excuse me, sir, come 82 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:28,360 Speaker 1: over here. Okay, here, we got a situation. Humans. When 83 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: you say hi, what do we do? We say Hi back? 84 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,920 Speaker 1: So next time I see you, I will hope that 85 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 1: you will recognize this fine, pretty brown thing. 86 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:43,679 Speaker 2: So after she stopped me that time, then yes, I said, okay, 87 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,360 Speaker 2: I'm I'm gonna make this count. And the next day, 88 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,160 Speaker 2: you know, I had it planned out. When she says, Hi, 89 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,240 Speaker 2: you know I was going to just give her a 90 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 2: big hug and shocker. So that's what I did, and 91 00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 2: she couldn't get away from me ever since. 92 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 1: Oh boy, illusions and delusions of it all. But no, yes, 93 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 1: I it was love honestly for me. I was like 94 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,479 Speaker 1: at first sight, I had a boyfriend when we first 95 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 1: met back in tenth grade. Then I broke up with him, 96 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 1: so then became this whole you know, hallway encounter, and 97 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 1: then we've been together ever since. So I'm not good 98 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:23,040 Speaker 1: at math. But how many years, mister Obrera? Has it 99 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,839 Speaker 1: been that we've been together in totality. 100 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 2: Since ninety five? So it's twenty nine. 101 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can't believe it. It still feels 102 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:38,039 Speaker 1: like yesterday in a way. In a way, I don't 103 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,840 Speaker 1: remember all the details back in high school, but I 104 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,360 Speaker 1: just I just knew it felt right. My best friend 105 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:47,360 Speaker 1: ever that is, Oh my god, Oh what are you 106 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: trying to get something? Anyway? We'll do that anyway. So 107 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 1: I mean, listen, what was your first thought? I guess 108 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 1: when you actually got to know me, were you like afraid? 109 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 1: And are you traumatized today because of it? And you 110 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,280 Speaker 1: just can't leave it's like, you know, winking for help, 111 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 1: like please help me. I'm I'm stuck in this marriage 112 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,840 Speaker 1: or were married. I know. I'm just saying, what did 113 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:10,480 Speaker 1: you think when you first met this loud j de 114 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 1: viv woman. 115 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 2: Well, obviously I'm still with you, so I thought very 116 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 2: highly of everything. You know, it was love at first sight. 117 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, but really, like, don't do the little you know 118 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 1: spiel here. Okay, The question is like, you're so different 119 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: from me, Like we're so different. How the hell were 120 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:35,320 Speaker 1: you like, oh, that's my girl when we're completely different people. 121 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,719 Speaker 1: I dance. I was going to actually pursue dancing before 122 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 1: I even met you, and then I stayed because of you. 123 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 1: I was going to pursue my ballroom dancing career in 124 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: you know, New York, and then you had me at 125 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: Hello and I'm like, damn, I'm screwed, but I kind 126 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,360 Speaker 1: of like it. This is the one, so I stayed. 127 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:53,480 Speaker 1: So what made you say that crazy girl over there 128 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 1: is my girl? Because you're so opposite for me. 129 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 2: It's hard to say. I mean, I've told you this before, 130 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 2: and you know I feed off of you, your energy. 131 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 2: You know you you give me strength in other ways. 132 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:17,080 Speaker 2: You know that I don't have, so you know, obviously 133 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 2: you're very beautiful. That was you know, that's that's the 134 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 2: start things. But you know, we became best friends, and 135 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 2: I mean we spent every day together. 136 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: Every day together, you come, and then we live so 137 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: close to each other that literally we just walked back 138 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: and forth to each other's houses. It was just a 139 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 1: bounce back and forth. And my parents loved him from 140 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 1: the beginning. They knew he was a good guy. I mean, 141 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: you give off actually a very angelic aura. And the 142 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,960 Speaker 1: angelic may not be the word, but it's a special 143 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 1: aura that when you walk in the room and you 144 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:54,760 Speaker 1: know this from way back, when everyone just fluctuates and 145 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 1: people want to know you. And that's actually the reason 146 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 1: why I even said, well, who's this guy not talking 147 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 1: to anybody? He's going to talk to me because of 148 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 1: the fact that your mystery in the best way, you 149 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 1: keep to yourself. You speak when you have to or 150 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 1: need to. But other than that, that mystery is it's 151 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 1: definitely very demure and very very mindful and very sexy. 152 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: Thank you. My name is Gerty and I approved this message. Listen, 153 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,240 Speaker 1: you know, we've gone through a whole lot of stuff 154 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 1: and we're not going to get through all my traumas 155 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 1: and all that stuff. But you know, I was raised 156 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 1: in Paris. I was one of seven children, and we 157 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 1: left Haiti for political turmoil, lived in Paris for nine years, 158 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,599 Speaker 1: and then came to the US. I was nine, and 159 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 1: you know, that transition for me was obviously very traumatic 160 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,199 Speaker 1: in a way because I was so young, and I 161 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,679 Speaker 1: didn't speak the language, and it was just a whole lot. 162 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 1: So for me, we come up from and you were raised, 163 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 1: born and raised in Miami proper, so we have we 164 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:59,719 Speaker 1: had completely different mindsets and views of everything until we 165 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 1: were able to share with each other and help each 166 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 1: other become better people. 167 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:03,079 Speaker 2: For that. 168 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,840 Speaker 1: So I feel like we're full body of full body 169 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,839 Speaker 1: bottle of wine because of the fact that we you know, 170 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 1: we compliment each other. So that Yang Yang is a 171 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 1: real thing. People definitely would you agree yes? On so okay, 172 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: so that we're gonna get a little bit, uh you know, 173 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 1: how should I call it gossip? Like on the show 174 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 1: The Real House of Miami that we're on. You you, 175 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:31,559 Speaker 1: I'm sure you heard it a lot or maybe not, 176 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 1: but people say, like you come off as very tough 177 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,679 Speaker 1: and straight face and very tell it like it is, 178 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: but you know, obviously they don't know who you are 179 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,000 Speaker 1: and behind the scenes, meaning like at home when it's 180 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,440 Speaker 1: just the four of us, and especially through my journey, 181 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 1: you hit a lot of your emotions towards me. I 182 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,439 Speaker 1: feel like and I think that, and you can answer this, 183 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,080 Speaker 1: but it was probably because you thought, Okay, I got 184 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,319 Speaker 1: to be the tough one because she's literally physically and 185 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,199 Speaker 1: mentally breaking down here with this can or thing. So 186 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 1: how how do you think you know the emotional toll 187 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 1: of having to deal with my cancer was on you. 188 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 2: I mean, you know how I am. I just I 189 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,839 Speaker 2: don't dwell on if I if I have something to do, 190 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,640 Speaker 2: if there's a task at hand, I don't dwell in 191 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 2: the thinking about it. If I know something has to 192 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 2: be done, it has to be done, I'll I'll deal 193 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,679 Speaker 2: with the rest later. And that's kind of how it 194 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,960 Speaker 2: was with I mean, there was you know, we couldn't 195 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:40,720 Speaker 2: I couldn't sit there and you know, cry and be emotional. 196 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,959 Speaker 2: You know, I couldn't let you see anything like that 197 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 2: because you needed strength. 198 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: I think, are you saying that you cried on your no, 199 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,080 Speaker 1: because I was going to say, you. 200 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,199 Speaker 2: Know, if if if it was in me, you know, 201 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 2: if I was feeling down or you know, bad or whatever. 202 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,960 Speaker 2: You know, I'm not going to show you that while 203 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 2: you're going through you know, a whole lot more. 204 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 1: Did you have some form of depression while I was, 205 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 1: you know, going through my my actual treatments, like would 206 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,199 Speaker 1: you go in another room and just kind of like 207 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,319 Speaker 1: be down? Because you let me make it clear what 208 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: ended up happening is that you know, I was, I 209 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: had four rounds of chemo. Let me let me give 210 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,439 Speaker 1: you my my actual diagnosis. So I was stage one 211 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:26,440 Speaker 1: B with an invasive you know, tumor. Okay, I'm an 212 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:29,679 Speaker 1: estrogen receptor. And then I also had a d C 213 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 1: I S, which is considered stage zero, a tumor none invasive. 214 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 1: So I had an invasive stage one B and a 215 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 1: non invasive stage zero which were removed. So the first 216 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,079 Speaker 1: step was for me to get the surgery and I 217 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,360 Speaker 1: got a lumpect to me on my left breast, which 218 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,840 Speaker 1: was the cancer breast. Then after that we ended up 219 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 1: having to do way more treatments than I thought, only 220 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:56,199 Speaker 1: because there's that thing called the uncle type score that 221 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:57,880 Speaker 1: I don't know if I can curse, but that bitch. 222 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 1: And it was because I scored high on my uncle 223 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 1: type score that I ended up having to need additional 224 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: treatment because the Uncote type score tells you the percentage 225 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: of the potential reoccurrence of your cancer coming back. So 226 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 1: once we took the tests and I'm told you're going 227 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 1: to be fine, it's going to be just a surgery, okay, great, 228 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 1: Then next thing you know, oh, your uncle type scare 229 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 1: score came back, and I scored higher than the medium, 230 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 1: which was, you know, the rat in which you were 231 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,920 Speaker 1: going to be okay and not need any further treatment. 232 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 1: I scored higher, So I ended up then being told 233 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: you need chemo therapy and radiation so that your score 234 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 1: goes from a thirty six percent chance of getting cancer 235 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:52,439 Speaker 1: again to down to about nine percent ish of reoccurrence. 236 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 1: So naturally I'm like one plus when it goes too. 237 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,040 Speaker 1: So we're getting radiation and we're getting chemo because this 238 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,719 Speaker 1: girl right here needs to survive for her children and 239 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,599 Speaker 1: her family. And so I did those things. So I 240 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 1: literally went from a little procedure lumpectomy to having the 241 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:10,319 Speaker 1: full range and I'm stage one B. And that's that's 242 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:15,720 Speaker 1: where the emotional rollercoaster of having to always find out 243 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 1: what's next. Wait, I didn't get this, Oh I need 244 00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 1: to do this. All of a sudden, I'm getting the 245 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,440 Speaker 1: full treatment. And I didn't want to hear the word 246 00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 1: cancer in my house while I was being diagnosed until 247 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:33,280 Speaker 1: chemo came in place. So the double c's chemo and cancer, 248 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 1: I did not want to hear at all until the 249 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,599 Speaker 1: reality of it. And when I shaved my head and 250 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,360 Speaker 1: you everyone saw this on the Real House of Miami, 251 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:47,160 Speaker 1: that was the defining moment of me saying this is real. 252 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,199 Speaker 1: And the shaving of your hair head for most people, 253 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:54,599 Speaker 1: is voluntarily because you don't want the cancer to have 254 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,800 Speaker 1: any more control of you. So you decide to say, 255 00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,760 Speaker 1: you know what if that's the one thing that I 256 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 1: can do to have some control left. And by the way, 257 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:06,880 Speaker 1: I'm a party planner, extraordinary. You better believe I wanted 258 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 1: that control. So I had my husband shake my hair, 259 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 1: and that day I looked in the mirror and I 260 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:17,720 Speaker 1: just kept saying, you have cancer. You have cancer, your 261 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 1: breast cancer patient, Now, this is real. It's getting We 262 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 1: did that. 263 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 2: We did that literally the day before you had your 264 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,320 Speaker 2: first chemo. So that's why I think you were saying 265 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:34,800 Speaker 2: that because up until that point, you know, everything was 266 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,520 Speaker 2: happening so fast. You know, like you said, you went 267 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 2: from the initial diagnosis, which was stage zero d cis yeah, 268 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 2: we're just you know, cut this, cut this out, do 269 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:50,840 Speaker 2: a little radiation, and then you're good too. After an MRI, 270 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:56,280 Speaker 2: they find, you know, two tumors, and then you do 271 00:14:56,360 --> 00:15:00,120 Speaker 2: a biopsy and then they say, okay, this is uh know, 272 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 2: this is more aggressive. You know obviously it's it's invasive 273 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 2: now and it's a it's actually an aggressive you know, 274 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 2: tumor that we're dealing with. And so that's that's what 275 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 2: led to all the rest of the things. So up 276 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 2: until that point, we did we didn't really know what 277 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:20,000 Speaker 2: was going on, and then the reality hit Okay, tomorrow 278 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,600 Speaker 2: you got we actually have to go do chemo. 279 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:39,520 Speaker 1: And at a variable we're filming, Hello, Bravo. The decision 280 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,360 Speaker 1: to film, that's another question I think people really want 281 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: to know because they, you know, compliment my bravery and 282 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 1: so forth. And I've never been one to run away 283 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 1: from anything in life, you know, obviously, all these adverse 284 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,440 Speaker 1: adversities that I went through, from not speaking the language 285 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,720 Speaker 1: to being here and being bullied in school, and the 286 00:15:55,760 --> 00:16:01,560 Speaker 1: whole thing. I just didn't know how not how to say. 287 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:06,640 Speaker 1: I couldn't see myself not filming that reality because if 288 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:09,040 Speaker 1: we're really going to be real real on a reality show, 289 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 1: and we know a lot of people stage, you know, 290 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,400 Speaker 1: script things and so forth, I'm sure, but on this 291 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 1: reality show, I was not going to be that girl 292 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 1: that says, thank you, Brav, I'm going to need a 293 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,240 Speaker 1: year off to you know, you know, to handle my cancer. 294 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,520 Speaker 1: Because I feel in my in my heart that I 295 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,080 Speaker 1: signed up for the good, the bad, the ugly and 296 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,120 Speaker 1: and the and and the happy. So yeah, I signed 297 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 1: up with no problem when it was time to show 298 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 1: off my you know, wedding planning career and my life 299 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,120 Speaker 1: and my family and the whole thing. And now I 300 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,120 Speaker 1: felt I would feel like a hypocrite if I would 301 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,920 Speaker 1: just say, oh, give me one second, I'd be back 302 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 1: when I'm perfect, because that's that was that was not 303 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,520 Speaker 1: gonna happen number one. So I realized that this is 304 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 1: going to change my life forever. And then I realized 305 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 1: also when I was doing my own research on like, okay, 306 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 1: so how does your skin look black? Black skin radiation? 307 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,440 Speaker 1: What does that mean? When they say you're gonna get burns. 308 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, what does it look like, you know, sunburn 309 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 1: or actual like loo burn, oil burn? What was it 310 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 1: gonna look like? And when I realized that there was 311 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:08,679 Speaker 1: hardly any images of people of my color which are 312 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:11,159 Speaker 1: being affected by breast cancer the most, because forty two 313 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:16,439 Speaker 1: percent are actually dying, you know, from from breast cancer 314 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,440 Speaker 1: and it affects one in a woman in general. But 315 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 1: the black population really has a hard time you know, uh, 316 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 1: getting checked and getting the resources and so forth. And 317 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,560 Speaker 1: that's a whole other topic. But I just felt like 318 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,400 Speaker 1: I had to. I just had to. It was right. 319 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 2: I mean it was literally you literally found out initially 320 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,560 Speaker 2: it was the week before filming was supposed to start, 321 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:44,000 Speaker 2: so you know, we were you had to make a 322 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:46,879 Speaker 2: quick decision, and it was like, just just. 323 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,680 Speaker 1: Go with it absolutely. And you know, about the children, 324 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,760 Speaker 1: you don't see them often on screen because we were 325 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,920 Speaker 1: definitely protective of them, and only on the moments where 326 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,879 Speaker 1: we felt like it was you know, it was okay, 327 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 1: you know, with rewarning to them so that they can 328 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,639 Speaker 1: get their head straight. Then we went ahead and filmed 329 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,719 Speaker 1: a very important and powerful scene where we go bowling 330 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 1: and it's before. It's before I go to my first treatment. 331 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 1: Right when was that? 332 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,119 Speaker 2: What was that? Yeah, I don't even remember. 333 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,200 Speaker 1: No, that was after you told them that I had cancer. 334 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:23,480 Speaker 2: Yeah that was yeah, or maybe before the first surgery, Yeah. 335 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 1: I think so. I can't remember specifically, but when I 336 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,960 Speaker 1: found out, when we were you know, literally waiting for 337 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,680 Speaker 1: on all the resorts of biopsies and so forth, et cetera. 338 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 1: Like you know, we obviously ended up having to tell 339 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,920 Speaker 1: the kids. I could not tell them, to tell the 340 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 1: kids myself. I was an absolute wreck. I couldn't do it, 341 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,320 Speaker 1: and you know called me. I don't know, I just 342 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,159 Speaker 1: called me chicken. But I just said, you know what, 343 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 1: for that situation for me and my family, I had 344 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 1: to rely on Russol to tell the boys. He has 345 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,560 Speaker 1: the best relationship with them. They look up to him 346 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,680 Speaker 1: so much, and it just felt right for us. I 347 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,920 Speaker 1: feel like, right, that's what you know. 348 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 2: Being part of a marriage is you you work off 349 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:11,200 Speaker 2: each other. So obviously, when you told me that you 350 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 2: wouldn't be able to do that, I was like, Okay, 351 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 2: I'll let him know. I know you couldn't tell your parents, 352 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:16,399 Speaker 2: I'll let them know. 353 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, you told my parents you're to my siblings, you 354 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,200 Speaker 1: told everyone, because I couldn't even utter the word cancer. 355 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,159 Speaker 1: I couldn't. I couldn't do it. So every time I started, 356 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:27,240 Speaker 1: I just started physically just shaking and breaking down. And 357 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 1: he wasn't going to be helpful for no one. And 358 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,359 Speaker 1: I also felt that I didn't want to take on 359 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 1: any additional emotional burden on top of my own and 360 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 1: that of my family. So for me, I was like, 361 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:44,680 Speaker 1: I have to protect my quote unquote peace or control. 362 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,120 Speaker 1: You know. I had to control and protect myself from 363 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:52,320 Speaker 1: myself and my own you know situation. It's something that 364 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,000 Speaker 1: maybe not everyone can understand, but I'm telling you right now, 365 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 1: you can't just say hey, I have cancer. Oh, I 366 00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,840 Speaker 1: have cancer. Oh, and then they cried. Then you have 367 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 1: to do, you know, make sure they're okay. And then 368 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,760 Speaker 1: it becomes about everything else but the but the core 369 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:08,320 Speaker 1: issue at hand, which is me trying to mentally prepare 370 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 1: myself for the battle, the battle of chemo, the battle 371 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:16,119 Speaker 1: of you know, radiation, the battle of my mind and 372 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,119 Speaker 1: my soul and everything. My womanhood is as steak here 373 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 1: because you know, being estrogen receptor. I'm not even gonna 374 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 1: get into every single detail, but like you know, I 375 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 1: ended up getting medical minopause. They had to put me 376 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,359 Speaker 1: on minopause to take away as much estrogen you know, 377 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:35,200 Speaker 1: production as possible. So imagine I'm just kind of like, wait, 378 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,359 Speaker 1: what am I even still a woman? You know? So 379 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:41,399 Speaker 1: that is something I'm still dealing with right now, is 380 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:45,920 Speaker 1: to feel this the sense of self empowerment of like, 381 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:47,720 Speaker 1: you know, I could look at myself in the mirror, 382 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,639 Speaker 1: but again I'm that bit yes honey, yes slay and 383 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 1: look amazing, but it's what's on the inside that's a 384 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:55,640 Speaker 1: more effective effective of what I you know, bring out 385 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,440 Speaker 1: to the world. So I'm still dealing with that, and 386 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 1: we're going to there because of the fact that, you know, 387 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 1: we need to reconnect in so many different ways before cancer. 388 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,160 Speaker 1: But before we get into all that, I really want 389 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:11,400 Speaker 1: to talk about you being the strong one, you surprised, 390 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 1: your feeling for me, and now that we came out 391 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,920 Speaker 1: on top, we beat cancer. Yeah yeah, yeah, rang the 392 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 1: last bell. Then we look at each other and we're like, wait, 393 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 1: what do we do now? Like right, it was kind 394 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,879 Speaker 1: of like, hey, okay, I'm your wife. And one thing 395 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,240 Speaker 1: about you, Russell, is that you're a captain in a 396 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: fire department. You come from a long line of firefighters, 397 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 1: and you are your father's son through and through in 398 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,679 Speaker 1: a sense of your number one, you were both scorpios, 399 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:43,440 Speaker 1: and number two you're very good at tackling issues matter 400 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,840 Speaker 1: of factly, not emotionally, and get it done, which is 401 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 1: great for your career. But I kind of felt a 402 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,200 Speaker 1: certain way where you were treating me and take take 403 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,159 Speaker 1: care of me. I felt like, I'm your wife, like 404 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,960 Speaker 1: can you you know, can you be more emotional? Can 405 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,880 Speaker 1: you be more like you know? Soothing? And he reminded 406 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,160 Speaker 1: me when we had our first son, Miles, remember when 407 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 1: I was in labor, you were just like, you know, 408 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:05,960 Speaker 1: hands on the hip, like okay, girl, let's go, let's 409 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 1: do this. And I'm like, excuse me, I am not 410 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:11,680 Speaker 1: one of your patients, sir. And so we had that 411 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,359 Speaker 1: conversation many times when I felt like you needed to 412 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,640 Speaker 1: be more soft. It should have been your soft boy era. 413 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,879 Speaker 1: So so tell me how you were, why you cope 414 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,000 Speaker 1: that way, and would you have would you have done 415 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,639 Speaker 1: anything different where you were taking care of me? 416 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:34,000 Speaker 2: Why I coped that? I wasn't thinking of that I 417 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:38,080 Speaker 2: was that way. Honestly, I thought I was you know, 418 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 2: doing good too, you know. 419 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: And I'm grateful by the way. No, this is not 420 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:44,920 Speaker 1: reproaching you at all. 421 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 2: Be gentle and you know, caring and loving. So I 422 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:55,880 Speaker 2: think I did my best. Yes you did, you know, yes, 423 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:59,200 Speaker 2: when it when it's all said and done. You know, 424 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:04,119 Speaker 2: I've been asked a couple of times afterwards, different places, Oh, 425 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 2: what was the hardest part? And I always it seems 426 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 2: to get to me. So I got ahead of the 427 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,280 Speaker 2: curve here and I asked myself here. 428 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,119 Speaker 1: So let me explain what that means. So we've been 429 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:18,480 Speaker 1: doing a few interviews and when the question is asked 430 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,440 Speaker 1: to Russell, like, you know, what was the hardest part 431 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,480 Speaker 1: of treating her? And for him obviously, the answer is 432 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,800 Speaker 1: usually like, you know, seeing her in this week week state, 433 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,880 Speaker 1: because she's not a weak person. So he felt helpless 434 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,440 Speaker 1: when he saw me, like during my chemo, specifically when 435 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,560 Speaker 1: my bone the bone spas on all that stuff started 436 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:39,160 Speaker 1: coming in and he gets choked up, so he posts, 437 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:42,320 Speaker 1: you know, cancer journey, like after I'm done, I was 438 00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 1: done with all my treatments and so forth, and I 439 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,560 Speaker 1: was back on my feet. We would do some podcasts 440 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 1: and so forth, and TV interviews and when that question 441 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 1: is asked, he gets emotional, and so that's when I 442 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,880 Speaker 1: knew he's been bottling it all down and pushing it down, 443 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,639 Speaker 1: you know, and now it's coming out and this is 444 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:02,159 Speaker 1: on your normal and we're trying to take away all 445 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,960 Speaker 1: this PTSD that cancer has left us. 446 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 2: So so I don't I don't consider myself that I was, 447 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 2: you know, bottling it down or suppressing it. I didn't know. 448 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,399 Speaker 2: But when I you know, when I was posed this question, 449 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 2: and I, you know, I start thinking about it. Yeah, 450 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 2: it was a long you know, a many months that 451 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,879 Speaker 2: we were going through this, and it was you know, 452 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:31,720 Speaker 2: thinking back on the whole process, how it started happening, 453 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 2: and you know, the speed of everything, you know, and 454 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:40,800 Speaker 2: then seeing you get knocked down and in pain, and 455 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,639 Speaker 2: there's not really anything I could do to help that 456 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,280 Speaker 2: in me just trying to reassure you, hey, we got 457 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,000 Speaker 2: to go through this, we finish it, and then you know, 458 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,320 Speaker 2: you get through it and we'll be on the other 459 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,240 Speaker 2: side and you know, hopefully things will be better. And 460 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:56,400 Speaker 2: that's pretty much all I can do. And then support 461 00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:00,360 Speaker 2: you know however, I however I can with whatever I can, 462 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,520 Speaker 2: you know, thinking back on it and you know, the 463 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,720 Speaker 2: main thing is seeing the person you love in pain 464 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:15,200 Speaker 2: and suffering, and that's the hardest part. Yeah, for me 465 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 2: at least it was. 466 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:21,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean, you know, as bad as think 467 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:25,840 Speaker 1: as the journey, the medical journey was for us, something 468 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:31,239 Speaker 1: about timing is really honestly crazy to me. Because if 469 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,440 Speaker 1: we go back to the season before that on the 470 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:38,800 Speaker 1: real Housewals in Miami, You'll notice that I've always been 471 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,720 Speaker 1: a workaholic. I used to do like twenty five thirty 472 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 1: events a year, and you know, weddings take about a 473 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,880 Speaker 1: year and a half two years to plan, so imagine 474 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,240 Speaker 1: having thirty different clients and not only Mom, not only Dad, 475 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,359 Speaker 1: but the bride and the groom, so you have that 476 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,800 Speaker 1: times four, you know, a zoom call for every single 477 00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:02,720 Speaker 1: little detail. Imagine multitasking and doing that for a living. 478 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,399 Speaker 1: So that was what I used to do. And then 479 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,160 Speaker 1: before that, I used to actually own a floral design company, 480 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,640 Speaker 1: so adding onto the the Sunday and putting a cherry 481 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,679 Speaker 1: on top, like not only just did I did planning, 482 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,400 Speaker 1: but I also did my own production literally from the core, 483 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,560 Speaker 1: you know, flooring everything. So those days are gone. But 484 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 1: then I started doing planning only and then that took 485 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,159 Speaker 1: me into a destination niche market. So I used to 486 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:31,919 Speaker 1: go literally to Portugal, Mexico, everywhere, all over the globe 487 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,320 Speaker 1: to do these amazing destination weddings, which I loved, and 488 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 1: I felt like full of life and full of you know, 489 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,520 Speaker 1: like accomplishment until I looked at that bag, and that's 490 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,000 Speaker 1: the symbol symbol symbolism, Like you know, it's like a 491 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 1: shopping cart, right, so you go, you go and shop. 492 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,600 Speaker 1: You have one wedding down. Yes I did that one. 493 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,120 Speaker 1: I did the purple wedding. I did the pink wedding. 494 00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,320 Speaker 1: But oh my god, I'm that bitch. I'm amazing. And 495 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:51,919 Speaker 1: then I look at the bag and it's all empty 496 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,760 Speaker 1: and I'm like, wait, I did all that work and 497 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 1: it means nothing. These people don't call you after that. 498 00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:59,840 Speaker 1: They're like, Okay, thank you, you did an amazing job. 499 00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:04,760 Speaker 1: And that's it. So that quick, fast paced, you know, 500 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,960 Speaker 1: instant gratification. When I walked into the room and be like, 501 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,639 Speaker 1: oh my god, yes I did it. I hung all 502 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:13,480 Speaker 1: those flowers on time. Guess arrival doors open, it's literally 503 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,600 Speaker 1: a second. And then you sit with yourself and then 504 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,560 Speaker 1: you figure out, like, wait, what did I do all 505 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,600 Speaker 1: this time, and I did it for twenty two years, 506 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,399 Speaker 1: and I literally realized that the stress from doing that 507 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,840 Speaker 1: took a toll for sure on my body, mental, you know, 508 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 1: my family, everything. And so was that a contributor to 509 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,879 Speaker 1: me getting breast cancer? I don't know, but I hear 510 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,720 Speaker 1: that a lot of A type personalities get breast cancer. 511 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:37,800 Speaker 1: So maybe that had a toll, the stress of that. 512 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:41,200 Speaker 1: And so I'm trying to bring it full circle because 513 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,720 Speaker 1: the last season before my cancer you know episode, you know, 514 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:48,440 Speaker 1: my cancer season on the Housewives, the season before that, 515 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:54,880 Speaker 1: Russell literally has a full like, hey, we need to talk. 516 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 1: You're doing too much. He had a whole you know, 517 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:03,879 Speaker 1: what is that word in English enter when you intercept intervention? 518 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,320 Speaker 1: See sometimes my French, you know, mix this in with 519 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:09,880 Speaker 1: my English. No speaking English too good sometimes anyway. Yeah, 520 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:11,920 Speaker 1: so you had an intervention and you're like, Okay, hey, 521 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,960 Speaker 1: you need to be there for the family more. Your 522 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,400 Speaker 1: sons need you, I need you, and you don't need 523 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 1: to do this. It wasn't about the money for me. 524 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,480 Speaker 1: It was more about like challenging and just like the 525 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,760 Speaker 1: next one, next one, faster, bigger, you know, faster, stronger, 526 00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,960 Speaker 1: you know, bigger. It was all about that stronger. Okay, 527 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:33,600 Speaker 1: thank you you see yang yang. But yeah, so I 528 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,359 Speaker 1: realized that I needed, you know, Russell to kind of 529 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,480 Speaker 1: like stop me from that. So he stopped me from 530 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,560 Speaker 1: doing more weddings in a sense of like making me 531 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:45,080 Speaker 1: understand that I didn't need to, you know, grind that hard. 532 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,160 Speaker 1: And I ended up listening to him. I retracted a 533 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,480 Speaker 1: lot of the stuff that I was doing and and 534 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,720 Speaker 1: really took on a handful of events. And then I 535 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,680 Speaker 1: get diagnosed with cancer. So that is when that person 536 00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,720 Speaker 1: next to you, that's that blind spot I call it 537 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 1: when I see something that you don't and you're doing 538 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,880 Speaker 1: something something that you think you love, you think you love, 539 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,440 Speaker 1: and then somebody's like, I don't know about this one. 540 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,840 Speaker 1: I don't know. You've taken a toll everywhere else in 541 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,480 Speaker 1: your life. And for him to see that and to say, chill, 542 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,400 Speaker 1: you don't need this. You're gonna, you know, kill yourself, 543 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:20,000 Speaker 1: and then I get the diagnosis. It was like divine intervention. 544 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,800 Speaker 1: And then I was actually ready to accept all that 545 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 1: stuff that happened to me during my cancer journey because 546 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:30,160 Speaker 1: I had put away all the noise in a sense 547 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,080 Speaker 1: and reorganize my life to be in more present and 548 00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:35,240 Speaker 1: be more you know ready in a way. So it's 549 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 1: weird how everything works, but I feel like that moment 550 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:43,920 Speaker 1: helped to shape write us being ready for the big sea. 551 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 2: Come to find out, you know you you made all 552 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:53,160 Speaker 2: the cutbacks in productions and when it was time to 553 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,480 Speaker 2: you know, luckily for us and for you, when it 554 00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,360 Speaker 2: was time to fight that battle, yeah you didn't. You 555 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:05,400 Speaker 2: didn't really have many other obligations on the table at 556 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:09,480 Speaker 2: that time, so that that worked out perfectly, I know, 557 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 2: because if you imagine if you would have had some 558 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:16,920 Speaker 2: big weddings in New York or I know it or Mexico, No, 559 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:17,320 Speaker 2: I could. 560 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 1: I couldn't. I mean, because I am my brand. I 561 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 1: am my brand, and people hire me because they want 562 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:37,240 Speaker 1: to be gertified. Hunty. Okay. When I look back at 563 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 1: the entire your journey, the most and the most challenging 564 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:47,720 Speaker 1: symbolic time for me ended up becoming the most empowering 565 00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:51,120 Speaker 1: for me. And that was actually shaving my head because 566 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:54,360 Speaker 1: first of all, this man right here, right here, okay 567 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,640 Speaker 1: has been telling me for all those years we've been together, girl, 568 00:30:57,680 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 1: don't you ever do your hair short? Don't ever cut 569 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,000 Speaker 1: your hair, don't shave your hair because you got a 570 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,280 Speaker 1: peanut head. We thought this whole time, I had a 571 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,040 Speaker 1: peanut head, okay, And then it wasn't until the shaving 572 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,240 Speaker 1: of the head moment. I'm like, and then I have 573 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:12,000 Speaker 1: a peanut head. He's like, no, I don't worry, You'll 574 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,800 Speaker 1: be fine, and then he starts shaving my head. And 575 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:17,080 Speaker 1: then we realized that Gertie and got a peanut head. 576 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,600 Speaker 1: Gertie's got a beautiful head, okay. And that's the first 577 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,040 Speaker 1: thing you said. What did you say, Russell? 578 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 2: I don't know the exact words, but I say, you 579 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:26,760 Speaker 2: have a beautiful head. You're beautiful. 580 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 1: And then I'm like, all these years I could have 581 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 1: been rocking this hair style instead of all those damn wigs. 582 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,280 Speaker 2: So anyway, just that wasn't that wasn't you at that time. 583 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,720 Speaker 1: Now it's you, actually, you know what You're right? And 584 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:45,760 Speaker 1: what do we call her? Russell gerty two point oh? 585 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 1: And it's a real thing, guys. And only my breast 586 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,240 Speaker 1: is out there know what I'm talking about. And so 587 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:54,920 Speaker 1: all this time I had twenty five wigs, wearing wigs 588 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:57,000 Speaker 1: all the time, and thinking hair defined me or was 589 00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,080 Speaker 1: part of my definitions as you know, as a I 590 00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,880 Speaker 1: you know, lived my life and so forth, and then 591 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:06,400 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, no hair, don't care. I've realized 592 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,720 Speaker 1: my power. It's not even about beauty so much of 593 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:10,800 Speaker 1: the outside. It's more about that beauty from the inside 594 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:13,560 Speaker 1: literally just looking at you and your features and being 595 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:19,400 Speaker 1: like wow. It's the most empowering thing literally to date, 596 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,520 Speaker 1: that I've ever had to do. I guess in a 597 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:27,240 Speaker 1: way right, and that is now my new normal and 598 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:32,000 Speaker 1: my new self. It's so weird, and now I feel 599 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,200 Speaker 1: like the way I even carry myself and the way 600 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:36,160 Speaker 1: I speak, and the whole thing. The reason why I 601 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,040 Speaker 1: call it gerty two point zero is because girty is 602 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,240 Speaker 1: girty is taking no mess. Okay, I take no prisoners, 603 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 1: no emotional prisoners. And by that I mean again, I 604 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:46,800 Speaker 1: feel like, you know, the stress of like doing a wedding, 605 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:48,680 Speaker 1: and obviously I was very PC so like, you know, 606 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,760 Speaker 1: my clients will come in, okay, we want this, Oh, 607 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,000 Speaker 1: but I thought we wanted that one, you know, Okay, 608 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:54,960 Speaker 1: So that would make the choices always changing things, and 609 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,040 Speaker 1: I would internalize all the stress. I would internalize all 610 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,680 Speaker 1: the issues because I was the problem solver. Dirty. So 611 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:03,920 Speaker 1: because of all the stress that I piled on on 612 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:07,560 Speaker 1: behalf of everyone that I was working with or working for. 613 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,560 Speaker 1: You know, imagine one wedding is at least thirty vendors 614 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,880 Speaker 1: plus the family, okay, plus then the guests on the 615 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,800 Speaker 1: day of the event. It's a lot people. And I 616 00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 1: did it with such ease. It just came so natural 617 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,320 Speaker 1: to me. But the stress that piled up on that 618 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:25,840 Speaker 1: was not pretty. And so now I say to anyone 619 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:29,840 Speaker 1: dealing with anything that has to do with stress, You're 620 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:34,080 Speaker 1: only going to make yourself sick. Release what no longer 621 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:39,560 Speaker 1: serves you. Release what no longer serves you. What does 622 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:43,400 Speaker 1: that mean? You want to cry one day and you're 623 00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:47,080 Speaker 1: mad about something, You want to cry, cry, You want 624 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:50,040 Speaker 1: to tell somebody off because I did you dirty? Tell 625 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:55,280 Speaker 1: them off because nothing and again everything is with perspective, 626 00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:58,040 Speaker 1: and everything obviously has its limits, of course, but meaning 627 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:02,760 Speaker 1: speak your mind, speak out, be in your emotions, and 628 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,920 Speaker 1: act them out accordingly so that they are released from 629 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,799 Speaker 1: your body. You're happy, laugh, you want to cry, cry, 630 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:10,880 Speaker 1: you want to scream, scream, you want to you know 631 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,759 Speaker 1: you matter something with someone, address it, because nothing good 632 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:18,600 Speaker 1: comes from bottling anything in and he does take a 633 00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,839 Speaker 1: toll on your body, and it can get you sick. 634 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,200 Speaker 1: It can get you sick. So release what no longer 635 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:28,320 Speaker 1: serves you is my biggest piece of advice. And also 636 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:32,399 Speaker 1: being selfish, and I learned that from Martina Navratilova, who 637 00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:35,840 Speaker 1: also had cancer. She's married to one of my castmates, Julia, 638 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,040 Speaker 1: and she I met with her for lunch and I 639 00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:40,719 Speaker 1: had twenty nine thousand questions and I'm like, oh, my ca, 640 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:41,759 Speaker 1: what do I do? I don't know what to do. 641 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:43,520 Speaker 1: You had cancer and she had cancer again and she 642 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,239 Speaker 1: beat it, of course, because she's a warrior, and she said, 643 00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,480 Speaker 1: be selfish. Just like that, I'm gonna imitate her gray 644 00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:53,080 Speaker 1: be selfish. Just say no. And I'm like, wait, what, 645 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:54,960 Speaker 1: I never said no in my life? What does that mean? 646 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,320 Speaker 1: Like Russell tell them, I mean I hardly say no 647 00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,520 Speaker 1: to things, you know. And I was like, I don't 648 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:01,080 Speaker 1: know how to do that. So I literally had to 649 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,800 Speaker 1: train myself to say no, oh do you want to 650 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:07,080 Speaker 1: go to there? No? And when people ask you why, 651 00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:09,200 Speaker 1: just because it's I just don't. I just don't want to. 652 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,560 Speaker 1: You gotta be honest with yourselven people. It's fine, it's okay. 653 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,360 Speaker 1: It's okay because people will respect you, and then you 654 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,560 Speaker 1: will have boundaries and people and you have to teach 655 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:23,239 Speaker 1: people how to treat you. You have to teach people 656 00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:25,480 Speaker 1: how to treat you. And if you're you're, you're, you 657 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,160 Speaker 1: fall for any if you're down for anything, you'll fall 658 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,680 Speaker 1: for anything. So at this point in time, I'm bringing 659 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:33,960 Speaker 1: myself to say no, to tell it like it is. 660 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:36,200 Speaker 1: So you know, the next season of your House Old 661 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:42,600 Speaker 1: Miami is going to be lit. Trust you be that, right, Russell? Yeah, yeah, 662 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:44,239 Speaker 1: But I mean the thing about it is that as 663 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:47,440 Speaker 1: much as we can say, you know, as a family, 664 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:51,600 Speaker 1: like okay, we beat cancer, Yay, where's the medal, there's 665 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,040 Speaker 1: not really a medal. Why tell us why there's not 666 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,760 Speaker 1: really a medal? Why is the cancer still in our lives? 667 00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:02,920 Speaker 2: Because you have to continuously monitor it, and you know, 668 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,359 Speaker 2: it's like you said, we did all that to get 669 00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:09,000 Speaker 2: a nine percent chance that you it won't reoccur. So 670 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:15,480 Speaker 2: hopefully that ninety one percent holds strong and it never 671 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:20,319 Speaker 2: comes back. So that's that's the hard, hard thing going 672 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:21,640 Speaker 2: forward from your. 673 00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:23,960 Speaker 1: Mouth to God's ears. Obviously, I mean every you know, 674 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:27,040 Speaker 1: I try actively not to think about it and you know, 675 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:30,120 Speaker 1: and people like, okay, you know your your cancer for you? 676 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,880 Speaker 1: Okay good? And you know, people even said, okay that 677 00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:34,680 Speaker 1: that was your storyline last year, not this year, and 678 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,600 Speaker 1: it's kind of like storyline no for the show. 679 00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:37,759 Speaker 2: What. 680 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,960 Speaker 1: No, this is my life and that's as real as 681 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,120 Speaker 1: it's going to get. And so I do know that 682 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,400 Speaker 1: a lot of people commended me on saying, wow, you 683 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:49,600 Speaker 1: literally put real in reality TV because no one has 684 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:54,600 Speaker 1: ever seen this from start to finish. And I do 685 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:58,040 Speaker 1: believe that is true. But you know, am I looking 686 00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,879 Speaker 1: for sympathy? Of course not. Am I looking for people 687 00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:02,560 Speaker 1: to be like, oh Gertie, No, absolutely not a I 688 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:05,840 Speaker 1: am good, I'm great, and I'm humble and I'm thankful. 689 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,839 Speaker 1: But it does play and affect other things in your life. 690 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,640 Speaker 1: I had breasts and plans for ten years. I had 691 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:15,640 Speaker 1: to take them out. Why because after I had radiation 692 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:18,800 Speaker 1: on my left breast, my breast has started getting you know, 693 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,880 Speaker 1: capsular contractor because it was shrinking and the skin and 694 00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:25,239 Speaker 1: so it started affecting my shoulder on my left breast, 695 00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,800 Speaker 1: so all the trickle down effect. I could do this 696 00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:32,360 Speaker 1: all day, you know, of the joint pain still that lingers, 697 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:35,440 Speaker 1: the brain fog. Sometimes I had a blood club when 698 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,000 Speaker 1: I did my first chemo because I had a reaction. 699 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:42,160 Speaker 1: And so just like all those lingering elements and especially 700 00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:44,440 Speaker 1: the mental toll that it takes, like you will we 701 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,120 Speaker 1: will never forget that I had breast cancer. Well, we'll 702 00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:48,920 Speaker 1: never forget the year it happened. We will never forget 703 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,120 Speaker 1: any details. 704 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:53,520 Speaker 2: And this and this is all with the knowledge that 705 00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:58,640 Speaker 2: it started out at stage zero and it was quotations 706 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:03,600 Speaker 2: on any stage one B. So there's so many people 707 00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:07,520 Speaker 2: out there with you know, higher stages. They're going through 708 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:10,000 Speaker 2: so much more they have to go through, you know, 709 00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:15,800 Speaker 2: years of chemotherapy, and that's crazy to think about and 710 00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:21,719 Speaker 2: people dealing with that. We send our love and our best. 711 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:26,160 Speaker 1: So this is why trying to be very proactive in 712 00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,279 Speaker 1: you know, going out getting the mamograms, doing the best 713 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,080 Speaker 1: that we can. And sometimes we are too late and 714 00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:33,080 Speaker 1: it is too late, and it's sad. But you know, 715 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,520 Speaker 1: if you don't have breast cancer, now be thankful and 716 00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:41,960 Speaker 1: be proactive and go get check early detection matters. And 717 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,600 Speaker 1: I'm going to say something else that maybe hasn't been 718 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:47,840 Speaker 1: spoken on in this podcast, but as a woman of 719 00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:51,359 Speaker 1: color and an island woman. Okay, so there's a whole variable. Okay, 720 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:54,520 Speaker 1: we know forty two percent of black women are going 721 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:57,000 Speaker 1: to die from breast cancer because of the fact of 722 00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:02,600 Speaker 1: different variables, not knowing how to address it, you know, 723 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:06,359 Speaker 1: resources and so forth and so forth. But there's another 724 00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,840 Speaker 1: element that people don't talk about, and it's that taboo 725 00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:12,480 Speaker 1: factor island people. Whether you're from Puerto Rico, Cuba, you 726 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:17,279 Speaker 1: know Haiti, you know Trinidad and Tobago, wherever you're from, 727 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:21,480 Speaker 1: there's this thing with people from different cultures, is what 728 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,960 Speaker 1: I'll say, not only island people, on other cultures too. 729 00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,920 Speaker 1: I heard a few friends that were from Africa that 730 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,960 Speaker 1: also said the same thing that you know, it's taboo. 731 00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:31,359 Speaker 1: No one wants to hear it, and he's considered, Oh 732 00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,440 Speaker 1: is she cursed? Oh is she not lucky? Oh? And 733 00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:39,960 Speaker 1: all these superstitions come about to the narrative of having 734 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,759 Speaker 1: any type of illness, and I think, you know, during 735 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,000 Speaker 1: this urban you'll be cured. And it's not the way 736 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,520 Speaker 1: it works. You're gonna have to also add a little 737 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,400 Speaker 1: science to that little green juice you're making. Okay, Mama, 738 00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,400 Speaker 1: My mother literally is like, if you drink this every day, 739 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,479 Speaker 1: you're gonna have be cancer free. And I say, well, woman, 740 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,040 Speaker 1: guess what, you will be a trillionaire if you came 741 00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:01,239 Speaker 1: up with that little remedy. Okay, So obviously it's a 742 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:04,640 Speaker 1: medley of things, and we have to put aside the 743 00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:07,360 Speaker 1: taboo things we've heard and all that stuff from you know, 744 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:14,120 Speaker 1: the generations before us, because it is becoming a generational curse. Okay. 745 00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:16,520 Speaker 1: So that's the reality of it, and you may not 746 00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:18,399 Speaker 1: want to hear it, but that is the damn fact. 747 00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:21,000 Speaker 1: So I need you to really honestly pick up the 748 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:24,280 Speaker 1: phone and make the appointment and go see a scientist 749 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,360 Speaker 1: aka or doctor who studied many years to know what 750 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:31,279 Speaker 1: he's talking about, plus all of the testing that's been 751 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,239 Speaker 1: done and all these different clinics, you know, so you 752 00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:38,160 Speaker 1: have to test, you know yourself, and put everything aside 753 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:42,160 Speaker 1: from what you've heard and just trust science because science 754 00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,239 Speaker 1: is here for a reason and it is also God given. 755 00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:46,960 Speaker 1: So as great as the air, the plants, everything is 756 00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:49,480 Speaker 1: good here. God gave us a brain. God gave us 757 00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:51,799 Speaker 1: science too, so we got to use it rybe yes, 758 00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:56,680 Speaker 1: I mean I do believe that, I really do, and 759 00:40:57,200 --> 00:41:00,680 Speaker 1: you know, I'm trying my best to be able to 760 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,839 Speaker 1: use my platform to bring awareness, to be out there 761 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,800 Speaker 1: and speak and I know some people are part of 762 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,319 Speaker 1: your haters and be like, Okay, oh my gosh, she's 763 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:09,920 Speaker 1: making everything about cancer. Oh my gosh, she's weaponizing cancer. 764 00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:12,920 Speaker 1: Well you know what, until it happened to you. And remember, 765 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:16,759 Speaker 1: one in eight will get breast cancer and one in 766 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:20,040 Speaker 1: three will have another type of cancer. Whether you male 767 00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:24,000 Speaker 1: or female, one in three will get a type of cancer. 768 00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,960 Speaker 1: And those numbers are only getting worse. So the minute 769 00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,879 Speaker 1: you criticize someone to try to be like they're making 770 00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:30,839 Speaker 1: it about them and the whole thing, Yeah, you better 771 00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:32,719 Speaker 1: believe it. Yeah, I'm using my platform and I'm going 772 00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:34,759 Speaker 1: to keep using it. Get used to it. And it's 773 00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:38,000 Speaker 1: actually Breast Cancer Awareness month. This is the month of October, 774 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,239 Speaker 1: and I am doing the most. I rang the bell. 775 00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:43,080 Speaker 1: Remember we went to New York New York Stock Exchange 776 00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:46,880 Speaker 1: with American Cancer Society. We're ringing bells and we're ringing 777 00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:50,000 Speaker 1: your ear so that you are able to be tired 778 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:53,719 Speaker 1: and annoyed and hopefully get tested and go get memoground 779 00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:57,120 Speaker 1: and ultrasound and all the screening possible because the science 780 00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:00,239 Speaker 1: is there to help you not hurt. You hurt a 781 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,480 Speaker 1: little bit, though we don't want to talk about chemo. 782 00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,560 Speaker 1: U uh uh. But no, I do think that you know, 783 00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:11,160 Speaker 1: despite your you know, problem solving, you know mentality, and 784 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,239 Speaker 1: you took it on as like you know, this is 785 00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,120 Speaker 1: my task. I'm gonna get this girl better, my wife. 786 00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:17,920 Speaker 1: I do think obviously you came and rubbed my shoulder, 787 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,560 Speaker 1: you help me to, you know, walking up and down 788 00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,480 Speaker 1: the stairs. You did everything right, Russell. I couldn't. I 789 00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:27,480 Speaker 1: couldn't have asked for anything else, honestly, because I don't 790 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:31,239 Speaker 1: want to get chopped up here. But it's like as 791 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:34,960 Speaker 1: quiet and and you know, cool and collected as you 792 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:40,040 Speaker 1: are when I got diagnosed. I have never seen more 793 00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,920 Speaker 1: of a planner than you. Okay, so you were like, 794 00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:44,759 Speaker 1: I got this. When is an extra pointment? You need 795 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:45,960 Speaker 1: to do this? We need to leave right now, We 796 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,080 Speaker 1: need to do this. Take this medicine. I'm gonna get 797 00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:50,879 Speaker 1: administer a shot, you know, the what is that new 798 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:54,320 Speaker 1: last star? Oh the devil, the new last shot. I 799 00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:57,440 Speaker 1: remember if you don't know when you lasta is sometimes 800 00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:00,239 Speaker 1: if you're getting chemo, you lose a lot out of 801 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:05,520 Speaker 1: blood count, which blood count the white blood cells and 802 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:08,799 Speaker 1: so on your last style while you're fighting chemo, I mean, yeah, 803 00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,279 Speaker 1: it helps you to boost that so that you're able 804 00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:13,719 Speaker 1: to not get ill. And so I had to get 805 00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:16,360 Speaker 1: a shot every single time. And because Russell obviously is 806 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:20,080 Speaker 1: a license you know, paramedic emt DA DA DA, he 807 00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:22,680 Speaker 1: got clearance to do administered at home for me. So 808 00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,160 Speaker 1: I got lucky with that. I didn't have to go 809 00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:27,280 Speaker 1: to the hospital for it. But it was the worst 810 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,480 Speaker 1: of it all that really started, the bone pain and 811 00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,080 Speaker 1: the spasms and all that. So shout out to whoever's 812 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:35,839 Speaker 1: going through chemo right now and those who are also, 813 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,160 Speaker 1: you know, doing the new LASTA and all these different 814 00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:40,320 Speaker 1: kind of chemo, The Red Devil, all of all of 815 00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:45,560 Speaker 1: you are such warriors. And the one question I get 816 00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,040 Speaker 1: asked all the time is just kind of like, how 817 00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:49,560 Speaker 1: do I get through this? How do I do this? 818 00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,719 Speaker 1: And I can't have the perfect answer for you. I 819 00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:56,120 Speaker 1: can only tell you what I did. You aim small, 820 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:57,800 Speaker 1: you miss small? What movie is that? 821 00:43:57,920 --> 00:43:59,960 Speaker 2: From The Patriot? 822 00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:03,080 Speaker 1: The Patriot aims he's teaching his son how to shoot 823 00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:07,120 Speaker 1: a gun, and he says, aims small, miss small, And 824 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,080 Speaker 1: that means that you have to make sure that you 825 00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:15,560 Speaker 1: count and take your time with everything. One second at 826 00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:22,279 Speaker 1: a time, one minute, one hour, one day. You will 827 00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:25,359 Speaker 1: win and you will do the best that you can 828 00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:29,440 Speaker 1: if you do these steps. You can't solve it all 829 00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:31,480 Speaker 1: in one second in one day. You can't do it. 830 00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:34,919 Speaker 1: You got to literally one thing at a time. What's 831 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,279 Speaker 1: what's in front of me now, Russell? Okay, doctor's appointment, Okay, 832 00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,160 Speaker 1: let's go. I don't want to hear nothing else, but 833 00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:41,400 Speaker 1: what's in front of me? What do I have to 834 00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:46,440 Speaker 1: do right now? Live for the now. That is the 835 00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:50,320 Speaker 1: best way to a piece of advice I can give you. 836 00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:52,359 Speaker 1: And Russell, if you want to give an advice as 837 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,399 Speaker 1: a care taker, what would you say? 838 00:44:56,480 --> 00:45:01,319 Speaker 2: Just as a caretaker, you're like I said before, there, 839 00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:05,719 Speaker 2: whoever it is you're you're caring for is has so 840 00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:10,319 Speaker 2: much going on by themselves, in their body, what they're 841 00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:15,960 Speaker 2: going through emotionally, physically. So as a caretaker you have 842 00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:20,360 Speaker 2: to try to alleviate whatever you can to make it 843 00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:27,440 Speaker 2: however easier it can be, and it may not make 844 00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:30,880 Speaker 2: it any better, but just do what you can to 845 00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:34,920 Speaker 2: try to make it better. You know, whether it's cooking 846 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:39,200 Speaker 2: or plan you know, taking care of the doctor's appointments 847 00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:43,120 Speaker 2: and things like that take stuff off their plate so 848 00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,480 Speaker 2: they could focus on on healing. 849 00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:49,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, and we're healing still. Like I said before, I'm 850 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:52,160 Speaker 1: bringing this full circle. You know, we know that we're 851 00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:56,080 Speaker 1: not the same people anymore. We're better for it, course 852 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:58,399 Speaker 1: of course, but we're just different. And yes, our sex 853 00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,040 Speaker 1: life was amazing back then and now it's just different. 854 00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:05,759 Speaker 1: I'm min apuzzle, uh, post cancer women with without. I 855 00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,600 Speaker 1: had to take out my implants because of the struggles 856 00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:10,279 Speaker 1: that I have, which is fine. I went from a 857 00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:12,719 Speaker 1: double D two now like a big B. I'm going 858 00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:14,440 Speaker 1: to say, I'm gonna give myself a little credit there, 859 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,320 Speaker 1: big B. And one of my breasts is not perfect. 860 00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:19,400 Speaker 1: You know, I just had my last I had a 861 00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:24,320 Speaker 1: reconstructive surgery, uh, eight weeks ago, and you know it 862 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,600 Speaker 1: was fat graphing from my waist and my back and 863 00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:28,440 Speaker 1: putting it on my breast so that we can try to, 864 00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:31,719 Speaker 1: you know, create fullness. And you know, I'm doing my best, 865 00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,239 Speaker 1: and I know I'm not perfect, you know perfect. I 866 00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:38,640 Speaker 1: had to had perfect boobs. Back then. I had perfect boops, yes, baby, absolutely, 867 00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:43,400 Speaker 1: And now they're they're what they are, and you know 868 00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:45,560 Speaker 1: the right side is getting more love than the left 869 00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:47,680 Speaker 1: side at this point, because you know, the left side 870 00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:51,839 Speaker 1: needs to go and time out for now, just needs 871 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:56,320 Speaker 1: to heal. Yeah, so it's a different type of you 872 00:46:56,400 --> 00:47:00,839 Speaker 1: know game. You know, it's a different thing. But think acknowledging. 873 00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:04,040 Speaker 1: Acknowledging is the number one thing, and not to be 874 00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,359 Speaker 1: in denial about things. You're never going to be who 875 00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:08,840 Speaker 1: you were, forget it. I look at pictures of myself 876 00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:11,520 Speaker 1: back then when I was super skinny and with hair. 877 00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,040 Speaker 1: It freaks me out, honestly because I'm like, who is 878 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:18,000 Speaker 1: that girl? Like, I don't I don't recognize this person, 879 00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:20,759 Speaker 1: and and I still have to try to find the 880 00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:25,680 Speaker 1: exact words of how it makes me feel. It's it 881 00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:27,799 Speaker 1: doesn't make me feel bad, it doesn't make me feel good. 882 00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:29,880 Speaker 1: It just makes me feel weird right now is the 883 00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:31,640 Speaker 1: word that I have. And I don't know what to 884 00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:35,040 Speaker 1: do with that emotion. So next therapy session will go 885 00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:38,520 Speaker 1: through that. But it's a weird feeling, like who the 886 00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:42,400 Speaker 1: hell is that person? It's just the weird the weirdest 887 00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:45,320 Speaker 1: thing ever. And you know, one thing about minopause is 888 00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:47,600 Speaker 1: that you get a lot of hot flashes. One thing 889 00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:50,279 Speaker 1: about post cancer is that I'm taking a pill called 890 00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:53,560 Speaker 1: an astrosol, and that gives you more you know, hot 891 00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:56,080 Speaker 1: flashes on top of the minnopause will half flashes. So 892 00:47:57,040 --> 00:48:00,359 Speaker 1: you know, I'm doing my best, okay, So I take 893 00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:02,760 Speaker 1: a pill that only lasts about eight hours that helps 894 00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:06,480 Speaker 1: alleviate some of it. I do want variety and I 895 00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:08,759 Speaker 1: want to do you know, I want to have the 896 00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,400 Speaker 1: opportunity to choose to maybe wear a wig one day 897 00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:14,160 Speaker 1: if I feel like it. But I have to figure 898 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:17,080 Speaker 1: out what is good for me, and maybe I come 899 00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:19,560 Speaker 1: up with a wigline that more has more ventilation with 900 00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:22,000 Speaker 1: an AI element that will make things better for me. 901 00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,239 Speaker 1: But right now, I just look at myself in the 902 00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:26,719 Speaker 1: mirror and I really have to accept what's in front 903 00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,239 Speaker 1: of me because this is the new normal. It is 904 00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:32,520 Speaker 1: what it is, right, So how can we how can 905 00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:38,960 Speaker 1: we do better as a couple to improve intimacy, you know, 906 00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:42,160 Speaker 1: and just improve communication and just to kind of sit 907 00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,959 Speaker 1: in our new truth. What would you say, I think. 908 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:47,920 Speaker 2: We're doing well? You know along the way it was 909 00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:51,880 Speaker 2: a matter of you know, you keep going having these 910 00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:59,239 Speaker 2: surgeries obviously, you know that's an obstacle for intimacy, and uh, 911 00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:04,360 Speaker 2: let things heal and will be good, and that's proven 912 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:10,760 Speaker 2: the case. I think you may have more more surgeries 913 00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:12,640 Speaker 2: on the horizon, so we may go through it again. 914 00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:15,960 Speaker 2: But you know, I think I think we're fine in 915 00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:20,480 Speaker 2: that regard. And you know, we we did start therapy, 916 00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:24,360 Speaker 2: so I think that helped. I think we're in a 917 00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:30,000 Speaker 2: good place anyway, because this whole thing I think did 918 00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:38,400 Speaker 2: make us stronger. And you realize, you know, life is 919 00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:44,040 Speaker 2: is not guaranteed, and you need to embrace it. And 920 00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:47,760 Speaker 2: you know, we you get caught up living your everyday 921 00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,840 Speaker 2: life and you don't think about these things. And and 922 00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:55,399 Speaker 2: even you know myself as a firefighter, we we think 923 00:49:55,440 --> 00:50:00,120 Speaker 2: we're invincible for most of our careers. You know, you 924 00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,200 Speaker 2: start to get a little bit older and you realize, oh, 925 00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:08,520 Speaker 2: that's that's not really the case. So it's just a process. 926 00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:12,880 Speaker 2: And I think we're getting over one hump. And you know, 927 00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:18,360 Speaker 2: I'm I'm happy with where we are, but you know, 928 00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,080 Speaker 2: we can always do better. 929 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's so funny that today at five pm, 930 00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:27,080 Speaker 1: what do we have to do? RUSS and MRI. Every 931 00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:30,000 Speaker 1: six months we have you know, alternate between the ultra 932 00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:32,560 Speaker 1: sound and memogram and then once a year's an MRI. 933 00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:35,840 Speaker 1: So you know, the tests keep coming and I don't complain. 934 00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:37,680 Speaker 1: I just say, thank you God, it could have been worse. 935 00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:39,719 Speaker 1: You got to you gotta look things, look at things 936 00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:42,520 Speaker 1: completely different. Not why me, but you know what, thank you, 937 00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:45,520 Speaker 1: thank you, and you know it could have been worse, 938 00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:47,279 Speaker 1: is what I like to say for myself. And I'm 939 00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,560 Speaker 1: not in not everyone is in the same position. I 940 00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:52,520 Speaker 1: understand that, and sometimes it is worse and we have 941 00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:57,080 Speaker 1: to acknowledge that. And you know, life is life, and 942 00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:59,560 Speaker 1: it's good and bad and it's sad and happy, and 943 00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:02,239 Speaker 1: we're here only for the ride that is given to us, 944 00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:03,879 Speaker 1: and so we have to just hold on for dear 945 00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,520 Speaker 1: life and ride ride that wave to the best of 946 00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:10,040 Speaker 1: our ability, as long as we put our best forward. 947 00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:12,640 Speaker 1: I think that that's the key. And it's all about 948 00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:17,240 Speaker 1: perspective and leaving legacy whichever way you find that meaningful. 949 00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:20,279 Speaker 1: So yeah, I want to thank you guys so much 950 00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:23,399 Speaker 1: to all the let's be clear listeners for joining us today. 951 00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:27,520 Speaker 1: This has been an honor. Like I'm pinching myself because 952 00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:30,839 Speaker 1: this is Shannon Dougherty in her memory nine two want 953 00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:34,440 Speaker 1: to know the most amazing fighter warrior Goddess. I'm so 954 00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:38,799 Speaker 1: thankful and I hope you rest in peace. It's been 955 00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:47,520 Speaker 1: an honor, and thank you to my husband. Thank you 956 00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:52,200 Speaker 1: so much for everything, and I wish everyone well and 957 00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:55,640 Speaker 1: just make sure that you get checked. It is the 958 00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:57,600 Speaker 1: most important thing that you can do for yourself and 959 00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:00,759 Speaker 1: your family. So think of yourself, your family and don't 960 00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:04,400 Speaker 1: be selfish. Okay, you are loved and we love you 961 00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:06,080 Speaker 1: and we thank you so much. Thank you so much 962 00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:08,839 Speaker 1: for listening. Let's be clear