1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: Let us pray. Cause me to hear thy loving kindness 2 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:09,120 Speaker 1: in the morning. For in THEE do I trust, Cause 3 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,960 Speaker 1: me to know the way wherein I should walk. For 4 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:15,680 Speaker 1: I lift up my soul unto thee Psalm one forty 5 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:19,639 Speaker 1: three eight. Dear God, allow your light to shine upon 6 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: me this morning. Today is a new day, filled with 7 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:28,400 Speaker 1: endless opportunities to be kind to others. Allow my thoughts 8 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: to be present with you before I begin my day. 9 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: Guide me with your righteous hand so that I may 10 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 1: stay on the right path to day. Allow my words 11 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,239 Speaker 1: to be kind so that I may always put a 12 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: smile on others faces. Allow my thoughts to be encouraging 13 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,920 Speaker 1: so that I can begin my day with confidence. Amen. 14 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to today's daily prayer for more 15 00:00:55,920 --> 00:01:00,120 Speaker 1: inspiration and an incredible message from our feature pastor stay 16 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 1: tuned to pray dot COM's Sunday service. You're listening to. 17 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 2: Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram here on pray 18 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 2: dot Com. The goal of this teaching ministry is to 19 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 2: encourage and help Christians live like Christians. Today, we're highlighting 20 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:26,759 Speaker 2: a part of Chipson's sightful series Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships, 21 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 2: based in Ephesians Chapter five. Through this study, we'll learn 22 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:34,320 Speaker 2: God's design for finding, staying, and growing in a genuine 23 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,600 Speaker 2: love that can last a lifetime. And this message chip 24 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:41,200 Speaker 2: will reveal why the Biblical model for intimacy and relationships 25 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 2: is so much better than the Hollywood model. Well, if 26 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,760 Speaker 2: you're ready to learn more about that, here's chip with 27 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 2: this message the secret to a lasting relationship. 28 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 3: Love, sex and lasting relationships. You know, we are all 29 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,120 Speaker 3: We just are made and wired and longed to be 30 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 3: loved and to give love. We are made and designed 31 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 3: by the creator of the universe to have spiritual, emotional 32 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 3: and connection physically with the person of the opposite sex 33 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 3: that does something in our soul and our heart, and 34 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 3: we are longing for that experience to not fade, not 35 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 3: end in divorce, but to last your whole life. And 36 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 3: the question is, if you're single, how do you find 37 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:35,120 Speaker 3: that right person right If you're married, how do you 38 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 3: keep that kind of love alive? If you're widowed or 39 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:44,959 Speaker 3: a widower, how do you avoid that pitfall of when 40 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 3: to move forward? And because of the great need and 41 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 3: the hurt and the hole in your soul of getting 42 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:53,680 Speaker 3: connected too early in some way with someone that usually 43 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:58,360 Speaker 3: ends up in a disaster. Why is it There's so 44 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:02,919 Speaker 3: many relationships, but most of them just don't turn out 45 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 3: very well. I mean over half of all the marriages 46 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:10,079 Speaker 3: don't work. Where I want to start is with something 47 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 3: I think is pretty basic, is what's the secret to 48 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 3: a lasting relationship? I mean, let's face it, there's some 49 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 3: people that love each other. It's rare. I mean, you know, 50 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 3: you can see them at all different stages and decades, 51 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 3: and man, they are in love. And there's something to 52 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 3: what they know that a lot of us don't. And 53 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 3: what I'm going to suggest is there's two basic models 54 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 3: out there that we're going to look at. Hollywood's model 55 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 3: is one, and God's model or God's prescription to enhance 56 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 3: your love life as the other. And so I want 57 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 3: to look at Hollywood's model and then I'll look at 58 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 3: God's model and maybe we can learn some things. Imagine 59 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 3: if you will, that this small little tube is filled 60 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 3: with multiple silicon, tiny little chips that can take information 61 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 3: and then you can turn it this way and it 62 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 3: can synthesize it through an algorithm to take all that 63 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 3: information to up with the basics of what's inside of it. 64 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 3: So what hypothetically I put inside of here is the 65 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 3: last forty years of movies, the last forty years of 66 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 3: all television shows, the last forty years of all self 67 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 3: help books, the last forty years of all romance novels, 68 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 3: the last fifteen or twenty years of reality shows, and 69 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 3: anything that's been written about love, sex and relationships. And 70 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 3: then when I take this and I say, okay, of 71 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 3: all the movies we've seen, the magazines, the books, the 72 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 3: world that we've grown up in, if I could shoot 73 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 3: that out through some sort of algorithm to say, is 74 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 3: there a step by step process to find the right 75 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,360 Speaker 3: person to be in love and have this great, awesome 76 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 3: relationship with amazing sex, what would it be? Hollywood would 77 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,480 Speaker 3: say this Number one, You need to find the right person. 78 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,520 Speaker 3: I mean, right, we all grew up. There's someone out 79 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 3: there for you. You need to find them. Where are they? 80 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,040 Speaker 3: I wonder when? And how are you going to meet them? 81 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 3: And so, what we're told in each one of those 82 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,840 Speaker 3: movies and in the so songs that we sing and 83 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 3: the Netflix that we watch is there's someone out there, 84 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 3: but you've got to attract them. In other words, if 85 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 3: you're going to find them, it's kind of like you 86 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 3: need to be honey, so the bees will come for you. 87 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 3: And what Hollywood says is there is a way that 88 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 3: you attract people. And what they say is that you 89 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:21,280 Speaker 3: need to be really good bait. You need to look 90 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,839 Speaker 3: a certain way, you need to dress a certain way, 91 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,359 Speaker 3: you need to drive a certain car, you need to 92 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,279 Speaker 3: be sort of hip or cool or neat or whatever 93 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 3: word you want to use. And then there's a theme 94 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 3: that's very, very physical in how you attract the opposite sex. 95 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 3: In fact, I did something. I'm going to take you 96 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 3: on a quick little journey. This is very I just 97 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,159 Speaker 3: went to the typical drug store and I went to 98 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,479 Speaker 3: the magazine rack, and I thought, I'm going to do 99 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 3: some very anecdotal, non scientific research, and I'm just going 100 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:53,600 Speaker 3: to take ten magazines and say, is there any theme 101 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,279 Speaker 3: about who I'm supposed to be to attract the opposite sex? 102 00:05:57,839 --> 00:05:59,919 Speaker 3: And so I like to invite you to join me 103 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 3: on my research. So I started off kind of mild. 104 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 3: Let's focus on our self. So Self magazine says, I 105 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,240 Speaker 3: can burn that faster. And as I go through these, 106 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:11,800 Speaker 3: see if you can see some words or themes that developed, 107 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 3: and then I can tone and tighten. Don't have to 108 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 3: go to the gym to do it. And then here's 109 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,920 Speaker 3: something sporty sex. How many calories can you actually burn? 110 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 3: I didn't realize that was part of the diet program, 111 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 3: but I can see where it would sell a magazine. 112 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 3: So I go beyond simply myself because I want to 113 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:32,800 Speaker 3: be glamorous, because if I'm glamorous, for glamor attract other people. 114 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 3: And a very attractive young woman here will tell me 115 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 3: sixty five ways to play up your body. So apparently 116 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 3: how my body looks is really important. But I like this. 117 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 3: It's ladies, you don't just need to look good with makeup. 118 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,839 Speaker 3: You don't need to look good after you've been rested, 119 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 3: been to the gym, got a little tan. In this magazine, 120 00:06:54,520 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 3: how to look ridiculously good on zero sleep. I mean, hey, 121 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 3: the expectations aren't getting too high, are they? And then 122 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,160 Speaker 3: just in case you kind of wonder, you know you're 123 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,520 Speaker 3: wondering that man and how do men really think? In 124 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 3: this edition one thousand and one, men answer your questions. Ladies, 125 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 3: this is what you're going to find out. How to 126 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 3: be a good bait, about sex, about your body, about babies, 127 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 3: about falling in love and falling out of love. Well, 128 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 3: you know, it's a fitness world. It's a diet world. 129 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 3: We all know that we want to be in good shape. 130 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 3: So I thought Shape magazine would be a good one. 131 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:36,120 Speaker 3: And so what does this tell us? Well, you can 132 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 3: drop seven pounds in two days. Amen? Right, and then 133 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 3: it's the better sex workout. I'm catching a theme. I 134 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 3: don't know about you. There might be a theme emerging here. 135 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 3: Here's I like at the very bottom, one week plus 136 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 3: four moves equals your new hot body? Is that like amazing? 137 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 3: You don't have to diet, don't go to the gym 138 00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 3: just in one week? Here's Are you beginning to realize 139 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 3: you have been inundated by every form of media to 140 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:11,560 Speaker 3: say how you look is the key to attracting the 141 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 3: opposite sex, and sex is the ultimate goal of every relationship. 142 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 3: That's what it says. Well, let's get on a little more, 143 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 3: you know, focused toward health and so women's health. How 144 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 3: do you get healthy flat abs? That's how hold it? 145 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 3: Not only flat flat abs, but more sex, better sex, 146 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 3: up the action and the satisfaction. Hey, you know what, 147 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 3: it's not like I pulled these from years. I just 148 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 3: went to the drug store yesterday. All right, this is 149 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:48,079 Speaker 3: just a for real now here's the moment. Though things 150 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 3: are changing. It used to be that there was an 151 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 3: expectation if you're in your twenties and your thirties and 152 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,160 Speaker 3: you know, hard body, all the rest. But we used 153 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 3: to at least think that, like, you know, twenty thirty 154 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:03,080 Speaker 3: years later, forty is the new twenty. So if you're 155 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 3: not married, if you're forty and you don't look like her, 156 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:10,560 Speaker 3: you have a problem. And here's the thing. If that 157 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 3: message keeps going, your husband looks at you and looks 158 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 3: at her and says, you know, maybe, so what's what's 159 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 3: the deal? Or flip it around and you look at 160 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 3: him and say, you know, he didn't have that when 161 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:28,079 Speaker 3: we got married. Well, guys, let's not let the women 162 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 3: take all of it. This is the Bachelor and so 163 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 3: just an average normal looking guy from my opinion, actually right, 164 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 3: guys kind of looks like us, little stubble, hard body. 165 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:44,680 Speaker 3: But now think of this that this show has so 166 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,679 Speaker 3: many followers. We have seventeen women, all who happen to 167 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 3: be gorgeous, who want to line up that don't know 168 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:54,920 Speaker 3: anything about him but want to marry him. What's he like? 169 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 3: Have no idea, I just want to be on the show. 170 00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 3: But he found out three of them have aren't pass 171 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 3: that want to take him down. This is Men's Health, 172 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,880 Speaker 3: and this is the most unusual Men's Health I've ever seen. 173 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 3: I do this research when I walk out of the 174 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 3: grocery store by the way often and usually the Men's 175 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,319 Speaker 3: Health has a guy with his shirt off. Ladies probably 176 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 3: don't even notice, but he has a shirt off, and 177 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,840 Speaker 3: he doesn't have a six pack. He doesn't have an 178 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 3: eight pack. He's got like a twelve pack. Now you 179 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,320 Speaker 3: do understand that he's been working out for years. This 180 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 3: is his full time job. He takes creatine and probably 181 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 3: a little steroids here and there because he's not playing 182 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 3: the NFL, and he looks amazing. And what he says 183 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 3: to me is chip you can burn flat abs twenty 184 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:44,720 Speaker 3: four to seven, the new all Spartan workout, Okay, and 185 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:48,520 Speaker 3: muscle Secrets from the real Fight Club. Guys, you get 186 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 3: to that gym, your wife's gonna go wow. Or if 187 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 3: you're not married, or if you're looking the whole key 188 00:10:56,520 --> 00:11:00,439 Speaker 3: is for some of you, you're thinking I'm too late 189 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:04,680 Speaker 3: for the gym. Maybe it's in the clothes a little 190 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 3: more sophisticated in this detailed magazine Build a Perfect Wardrobe, 191 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 3: the eight pieces every stylish man should own. See if 192 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 3: you get a shirt like this, they can tell where 193 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 3: this came from. I mean the women, I mean then Starbucks. Unbelievable. 194 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,480 Speaker 3: Do you see that suit? But that's not enough if 195 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 3: you can't afford the wardrobe underneath of it. The haircut 196 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 3: of the moment. Guys, how cheap could it get? Well, 197 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 3: it's not really all that cheap, except for some You 198 00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 3: have this haircut and she goes unbelievable. I think I'm 199 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 3: in love. We're having a bit of fun and we 200 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:51,120 Speaker 3: laugh because it's in the air, it's in the water, 201 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 3: it's in the movies, it's in the songs, and we 202 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,719 Speaker 3: all care about what we look like, and we all 203 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 3: have these private thoughts that we wish we looked a 204 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 3: lot better, and we all have now been inundated with 205 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 3: a culture and it's in the air and water that says, 206 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,320 Speaker 3: if you don't look like this, you don't measure up. 207 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 3: And worse, we can get deluded in thinking we kind 208 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,040 Speaker 3: of do, but the person that we're married to doesn't. 209 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 3: Or we can feel like if I don't look like 210 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 3: one of these people. When I'm single, I'll never ever 211 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,160 Speaker 3: get married. And you know what, here's the thing is, 212 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 3: the expectations are now so false and so unrealistic. This 213 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:32,559 Speaker 3: message destined you to fail in every relationship. It destined 214 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 3: you to try and become something you're not. It destins 215 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:38,880 Speaker 3: you to compare inside your relationship where any flaw now 216 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 3: is up against these one percent of the gene pool 217 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,400 Speaker 3: in all of the world who have private chefs, work 218 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:49,199 Speaker 3: out four hours a day and have unlimited expenses on wardrobes. 219 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,839 Speaker 3: And then they do these shoots, and then they touch 220 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 3: up the shoots afterwards, and it gets worse because it 221 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 3: never ends. The last one is the most sad for me. 222 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 3: I don't know you, ladies, but if you don't look 223 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 3: like this at sixty, there's a big problem. And so 224 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 3: now it's not like you can't even grow old. There 225 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 3: is no room for SAgs or lags or anything else. 226 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,200 Speaker 3: And what I want you to know is that Hollywood's 227 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 3: formula is find the right person, and that's the way. 228 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:24,720 Speaker 3: And then when you find them, you fall in love, right, 229 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,840 Speaker 3: I mean in all the movies. I mean, you just 230 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 3: fall in love. You The picture is, you know, You're 231 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 3: driving your car and you stop your car and it's 232 00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 3: at a red light, and you look over, and she 233 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,320 Speaker 3: looks over. You look again, she looks again. Your eyes meet. 234 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,920 Speaker 3: Electricity starts at the top of your head. You begin 235 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 3: to shake, almost uncontrollably inside your car. She has a Voltswagon, 236 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,800 Speaker 3: You have a volts Wagon. You don't know her, but 237 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 3: you're love. She pulls off and you want to follow her. 238 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:53,679 Speaker 3: Or sometimes it's a little less dramatic. You're just walking 239 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:59,199 Speaker 3: in a coffee shop. You notice her, she notices you. 240 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 3: You go to refill at exactly the same time you 241 00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 3: brush one another. Magic dust pours down upon both of you. 242 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 3: I've got to know his name. You go back, having 243 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,600 Speaker 3: not done any more than that, hoping that the same day, 244 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,480 Speaker 3: at the same time, at the same coffee shop, he 245 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,680 Speaker 3: or she will be there. But you return home to 246 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:27,000 Speaker 3: say to your roommate, I'm in love. Your IQ drops 247 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 3: thirty points. You start acting in ways that are ridiculous, 248 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 3: spending money you don't have, dressing up. Does this look good? 249 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 3: Does this look good? Does this look good? What do 250 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 3: you think? Should I buy a new off at? Why 251 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 3: I'm going to the coffee shop? Why to me? To 252 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,240 Speaker 3: I've never met that, I don't know his name, that 253 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 3: I know nothing about that I think I'm in love with. 254 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 4: Now. 255 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:51,960 Speaker 3: Is that not Hollywood's formula? You believe that a lot. 256 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:55,520 Speaker 3: I believe that a lot. The third step in Hollywood's 257 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 3: formula is once you find that person and once you 258 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,520 Speaker 3: sort of have this mystic infatuated experience that will literally 259 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,040 Speaker 3: talk about later, because there's a chemical reaction that happens 260 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:09,440 Speaker 3: when we're infatuated, and God designed us that way and 261 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 3: it's a good part of a relationship. We just need 262 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 3: to understand what part. Then you fix your hopes and 263 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,040 Speaker 3: dreams on this person, and what you do is that 264 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 3: so all the songs are I can't live without you. 265 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 3: In fact, once you find them and you fall in love. 266 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 3: If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be 267 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:32,600 Speaker 3: How did you know those words You're amazing over and 268 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,680 Speaker 3: over and over and over. And then when you fix 269 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 3: your hope on this person, and probably most everyone's been there, 270 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 3: and then there's the breakup your life. You can't eat, 271 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 3: you can't sleep, you can't drink, life is meaningless. You 272 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 3: put on way, you drink too much, you do all 273 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 3: kinds of things because what was going to make your 274 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 3: like work is gone. And if you don't believe it, 275 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 3: ask all the pretty people who make all the movies, 276 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 3: who are the most beautiful, with the most money, who 277 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 3: seems to not be able to stay together for more 278 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,600 Speaker 3: than a few months or a few years. And then finally, 279 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:09,640 Speaker 3: when failure occurs, you repeat steps one, two, and three 280 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,640 Speaker 3: and it goes like this. In a marriage, it goes 281 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:17,280 Speaker 3: like this, we've fallen out of love. I guess it 282 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,640 Speaker 3: just wasn't the right person. What was good for a 283 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 3: few years and she was that way and I was 284 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 3: that way. But we've grown apart all these euphemisms. The 285 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:29,280 Speaker 3: belief system is there's someone out there, and therefore, once 286 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,160 Speaker 3: you break up, you go back to the gym. Have 287 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 3: you ever seen how many forty to fifty year olds 288 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:36,760 Speaker 3: are in the gym right now? You get a new wardrobe, 289 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,760 Speaker 3: you get a new car, and you play the same game, 290 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 3: except the next time the chance of failure goes up 291 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 3: to seventy five percent, not fifty percent. This is the 292 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 3: mantra that you have been sold that destines you for 293 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 3: dissatisfaction or to never find the right person, or to 294 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:03,560 Speaker 3: have heartbreak that God never intended. The results are the 295 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 3: success rate of Hollywood's formula is Since nineteen sixty the 296 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 3: divorce rate is doubled about forty one to forty three 297 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 3: percent of people are divorced now, but since we don't 298 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 3: count those who cohabitate and then break apart, a good 299 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:19,280 Speaker 3: round figure is about fifty percent. Over half of all 300 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,120 Speaker 3: divorces happened in the first ten years. Usually between year 301 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 3: three and six is the most devastating time because reality 302 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 3: hits in. Some young kids come people don't endure the 303 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,679 Speaker 3: pain in the fallout is really beyond what we often think, 304 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,440 Speaker 3: despite all the words and talk shows of it was 305 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,680 Speaker 3: an amiable divorce. We're still friends. It was just a mistake. 306 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,560 Speaker 3: The research indicates that the pain fallout and damage to 307 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,840 Speaker 3: the children to the economics. Half of all women who 308 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:53,840 Speaker 3: go through divorce live below the poverty level or just 309 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:57,159 Speaker 3: the fractured relationship, and the pain is the tip of 310 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:01,720 Speaker 3: the iceberg, and that our and the tragedy of divorce 311 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,680 Speaker 3: follows us into adulthood. One of the most interesting studies 312 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 3: I've ever read was Children of Divorce twenty five years later, 313 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:14,760 Speaker 3: a landmark study that tracks kids from broken homes longitudely 314 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,240 Speaker 3: track them for over twenty five years to find out 315 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,920 Speaker 3: what happens to kids not now. Oh they're resilient, Everything's 316 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 3: going to be okay. Wallerstein is the founder of the 317 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 3: Center for Families in Transition, one a nation's leading expert 318 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 3: on divorce, and her book The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, 319 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 3: twenty five years later landmark study. She gives an example. 320 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:41,359 Speaker 3: Karen was thirty six when she detailed to Wallerstein the 321 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 3: long shadow cast by her parents' divorce. Like so many 322 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,320 Speaker 3: other children of Doorce, James had embarked on a search 323 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:51,280 Speaker 3: for lasting love, yet was so deeply anxious that she 324 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:56,119 Speaker 3: was unable to trust others. A fear of abandonment kept 325 00:18:56,240 --> 00:19:02,440 Speaker 3: her cling to string of unsuitable and trouble partners. I mean, 326 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,600 Speaker 3: it would be too embarrassing to ask you to raise 327 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 3: your hand of how many in this room have been 328 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 3: down that road, or have a sister or a brother, 329 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 3: or what are your kids? That you say, Yep, that's 330 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,640 Speaker 3: what happened. It goes on to say, by the time 331 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:17,400 Speaker 3: the children of divorce reached their thirties, she found only 332 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:22,680 Speaker 3: half of them were doing well personally. Interestingly, it seemed 333 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:26,680 Speaker 3: that it had absolutely no impact on their work life. 334 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,560 Speaker 3: We substitute and we compensate. Here's all I want you 335 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:35,320 Speaker 3: to hear very clearly. Hollywood's formula is all that we've heard. 336 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,919 Speaker 3: You don't even have to try and not believe it, 337 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:41,240 Speaker 3: or believe it every time you wake up and watch 338 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:45,119 Speaker 3: it commercial, read a book, glance at a magazine, watch 339 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:49,119 Speaker 3: a movie. This is the mantra behind it. And if 340 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:54,359 Speaker 3: you don't understand that you were being hoodwinked, seduced and used, 341 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 3: then you're a fool because it doesn't work. Turn the 342 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:03,400 Speaker 3: pay and let's ask ourselves. Is there a better way? 343 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:07,240 Speaker 3: Could it be? If the people would just use the 344 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,400 Speaker 3: thing and the way we designed it, it would work right? 345 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,240 Speaker 3: Isn't that what you engineers say all the time? We 346 00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,560 Speaker 3: designed it like this, we planned it like this. 347 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 5: We tested it like this, and those idiots at that company, 348 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 5: they don't run it the right way. 349 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 3: Now, God's not like that, but his heart is this. 350 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:30,160 Speaker 3: I made you. I designed relationships, and my desires are 351 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:33,480 Speaker 3: so wonderful and so good. Let me tell you the 352 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:37,360 Speaker 3: design and the plan that I made that makes relationships 353 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:43,639 Speaker 3: deeply loving, dynamic in sects and really last. The answer 354 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,360 Speaker 3: is found in Ephesians, chapter five, verses one and two, 355 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 3: and I put the text in your notes. The first 356 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,360 Speaker 3: half of that book. He tells us who we are 357 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 3: in Christ, and how precious we are, how loved we are, 358 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,960 Speaker 3: what He's already done for us. That you are a 359 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,440 Speaker 3: son of God because of Christ, and that you are adopted, 360 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,600 Speaker 3: and he cares for you, and it doesn't matter how 361 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,960 Speaker 3: you look. And he actually wanted you to be exactly 362 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,159 Speaker 3: the height that you are, with the personality that you have, 363 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:08,560 Speaker 3: with the eye color that you have, with the personality 364 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,840 Speaker 3: that you have, and he actually likes you. And you 365 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,240 Speaker 3: don't have to be this skinny or this hard body 366 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 3: to wear these kind of clothes. He loves you just 367 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 3: the way you are. And by the way, that is 368 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:23,720 Speaker 3: the key to experiencing great love with other people, because 369 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,880 Speaker 3: until you understand how deeply loved you are, you will 370 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,760 Speaker 3: try and find that love and make someone else the 371 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:34,359 Speaker 3: completion to make your life work, and it always ends 372 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:38,920 Speaker 3: in disaster. And so he says, therefore, be imitators of God, 373 00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 3: how as beloved children, and walk in love, just as 374 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:46,159 Speaker 3: Christ also loved you and gave himself up for us 375 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 3: an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. 376 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:51,639 Speaker 3: Now pull out a pen. I'm gonna ask you just 377 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,639 Speaker 3: to make a couple observations. This will really help you. 378 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,400 Speaker 3: Put a line under where it says be imitators of God. 379 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,640 Speaker 3: Just put a little line under it, and then above 380 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,280 Speaker 3: it write command number one. There's two commands in this passage. 381 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:08,879 Speaker 3: The word is mimic. Literally, it's command, mimic God do 382 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:13,960 Speaker 3: in relationships with others what God does to you, mimic him. Now, 383 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,880 Speaker 3: notice I want you to put parentheses around The next 384 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,720 Speaker 3: phrase is as beloved children, So put around. So I'm 385 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:23,439 Speaker 3: to mimic God. I'm to love the way God loves 386 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,000 Speaker 3: in relationships with other people. But I'm to do it 387 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:29,720 Speaker 3: as someone who's already dearly loved and accepted and precious 388 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 3: by God. Command number two underline walk in love. Walk 389 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:40,400 Speaker 3: in love. It's a command. Notice the line that comes 390 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,680 Speaker 3: up next describes what it means to walk in love 391 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,800 Speaker 3: just as Christ also loved you. Put princies around that. 392 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,680 Speaker 3: So command number one, I'm to imitate God, how as 393 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,600 Speaker 3: someone who's deeply loved and accepted just for who I am. 394 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,960 Speaker 3: Command number two, I'm to walk in love. Walks a choice. 395 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,600 Speaker 3: Walk is progressive water because steps sometimes you fall down, 396 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 3: but I walk out, just as Christ loved me. The 397 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,960 Speaker 3: rest of the verse says, well, how did Christ love us? 398 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:16,040 Speaker 3: Who gave himself for you? It's a picture in all 399 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 3: the portal of all time and all humanity. God saw you, 400 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,800 Speaker 3: and he saw me. And when Christ was hanging upon 401 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,359 Speaker 3: the cross, he died in your place and in my 402 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,639 Speaker 3: place to pay for your sin. And then he rose 403 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,439 Speaker 3: from the dead to prove that it was true to 404 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:34,240 Speaker 3: offer spiritual life, just as we're physically born, to offer 405 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:38,119 Speaker 3: a spiritual birth and a new relationship with God. Question 406 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,680 Speaker 3: he does it to God. It's an offering, it's a sacrifice. 407 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 3: When Jesus was praying through for those of you with 408 00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 3: a little Bible background, remember the garden of Cassemine. Did 409 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,680 Speaker 3: he emotionally want to go to the cross? Yes? Or no? 410 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:57,600 Speaker 3: Emotionally I didn't hear you no. So he's agonizing why. 411 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:00,880 Speaker 3: He understands separation from Father, He understands cross, the understands 412 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,639 Speaker 3: so thorns. He knows he's going to get beat within 413 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,120 Speaker 3: an inch of his life. All those things. But he 414 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,160 Speaker 3: looked at you, and he looked at me. And here's 415 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 3: what love is. Love is choosing to give another person 416 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,080 Speaker 3: what they need the most, when they deserve it the least, 417 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 3: at great personal cost. That's what he did. And see 418 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 3: it changes your relationships. It's not how do I feel? 419 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,159 Speaker 3: Is she meeting my needs? Or things going well? You 420 00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:26,840 Speaker 3: know our sex isn't as hot as it used to be. 421 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,120 Speaker 3: He's gained a couple pounds. You know, this is really 422 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 3: difficult with our kids right now. There's a lot of 423 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,840 Speaker 3: pressure in our job. I don't think she I don't 424 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,760 Speaker 3: think he's really the right person. I think we're growing 425 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,959 Speaker 3: out of love. No, no, no, no, those are feelings, and 426 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:42,399 Speaker 3: those are movies playing in your head. Love is a commitment. 427 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:48,640 Speaker 3: Love is a choice to give another person what they 428 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,520 Speaker 3: need the most, not when they're being good, when they 429 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 3: deserve it the least, at great personal cost. Now, notice 430 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,119 Speaker 3: if I could take all this passage and put it 431 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,359 Speaker 3: in four steps like Hollywood's formula, it would look like 432 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:03,320 Speaker 3: this number one. Become the right person. That's what God's saying. 433 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,359 Speaker 3: Become the right person. If you have your Bible or 434 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,879 Speaker 3: mobile device, open up to Ephesians chapter four, because it 435 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,879 Speaker 3: says therefore right says, therefore be imitators of God. You 436 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 3: need to look behind it, because what he is going 437 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,960 Speaker 3: to say is there's certain attitudes that you need to 438 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,800 Speaker 3: get rid of that are poison in relationships, and there's 439 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,160 Speaker 3: certain attitudes that are like gods that will transform relationships. 440 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,959 Speaker 3: So notice Ephesians four pick it up with me. At 441 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:35,200 Speaker 3: verse thirty one, it says, get rid of what all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, 442 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:40,639 Speaker 3: and slander along with every form of malice. Any of 443 00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,359 Speaker 3: you ever struggle with having some of those attitudes, actions, 444 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,960 Speaker 3: or words come out of your mouth in your relationships 445 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:53,280 Speaker 3: with the opposite sex, Oh good I do when you 446 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:59,040 Speaker 3: get hurt, when you get rejected, when you're confused, when 447 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:06,960 Speaker 3: you feel betrayed, anger, bitterness, slander, start telling other people malice? 448 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,640 Speaker 3: How do you get back at him? But notice look 449 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:14,560 Speaker 3: at verse thirty two. But be kind to one another, 450 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:21,879 Speaker 3: compassionate or tenderhearted forgiving one another, just as God in 451 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:26,399 Speaker 3: Christ also forgave you. When he says, mimic God, he says, 452 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:30,359 Speaker 3: become the right person. You become a person that's kind. 453 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,359 Speaker 3: What's kind? You do nice things for other people just 454 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:37,119 Speaker 3: to bless their life. Compassionate That means you're tender hearted, 455 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 3: and you walk in their shoes. And you're empathetic and 456 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,400 Speaker 3: you understand where they're coming from. And it's not demanding 457 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,080 Speaker 3: about what do I get, but it's how do I give? 458 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:47,199 Speaker 3: When they blow it, you're forgiving. It's not that you 459 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,919 Speaker 3: become a doormat. It's not that you're doing that. And 460 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:54,000 Speaker 3: there's boundaries, of course, but when they blow it, just 461 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 3: like you blow it, you don't hold it against them. 462 00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 3: You get it on the table and you forgive them 463 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,120 Speaker 3: mimic God. Here's the deal. Here's what's wonderful about God's deal. 464 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,000 Speaker 3: For those of you that are divorced and not in 465 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,399 Speaker 3: a relationship, for those of you that are single and 466 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,159 Speaker 3: not in a relationship, for those of you that are thirteen, fourteen, 467 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 3: or fifteen and thinking, I'm not exactly sure what all 468 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,720 Speaker 3: this is about, but my parents said it'd be a 469 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,320 Speaker 3: good idea for me to sit in on this, all right. 470 00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,160 Speaker 3: And I can hear him saying I know a lot 471 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:21,960 Speaker 3: more of what this is about than this guy thinks, 472 00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:25,320 Speaker 3: which is actually quite true. You don't need to be 473 00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,160 Speaker 3: in any relationship to become the kind of person who 474 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,760 Speaker 3: mimics God. Let me ask you this, if you found 475 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:38,240 Speaker 3: a person to date that was kind compassionate, tenderhearted others, 476 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:41,280 Speaker 3: centered and forgiving. When you blew it, would that sound 477 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:46,439 Speaker 3: like a pretty good catch. That's a different set of 478 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:50,040 Speaker 3: qualities than man she looks good and tight jeans, or 479 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,679 Speaker 3: I love him in a tight T shirt or he 480 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:57,000 Speaker 3: drives a Ferrari. That's really different, isn't it? And See, 481 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:58,879 Speaker 3: the thing is is, you know the people that are 482 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:02,640 Speaker 3: really kind and very loving and forgiving and godly, guess 483 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:07,280 Speaker 3: who they're looking for. They're looking for other people that 484 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:11,639 Speaker 3: are very kind, very loving. Right, So the way to 485 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:14,160 Speaker 3: get the best is to become the best. You need 486 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,000 Speaker 3: to become what you want, and you can work on 487 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:19,439 Speaker 3: that every day. That's why the greatest thing I do 488 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 3: for my wife every single day is pursue passionately my 489 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,680 Speaker 3: relationship with Christ so I can become more like Him 490 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:30,120 Speaker 3: as His spirit creates in me through his word and community, 491 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,760 Speaker 3: the living Christ in me. The second thing is is 492 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:37,560 Speaker 3: rather than finding the right person, you become the right person. 493 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 3: And then if you don't fall in love, you walk 494 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:43,800 Speaker 3: in love. You're walking love. So it's a choice and 495 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 3: we've defined it. It is you got it. Yet. Love 496 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,120 Speaker 3: is giving another person what what they need the most. 497 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 3: When they deserve it the least at great personal cost. 498 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,680 Speaker 3: See what I can tell you is I didn't know 499 00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,520 Speaker 3: any of this. I never picked up a Bible until 500 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 3: I was eighteen, and I did the whole deal Hollywood's 501 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:06,200 Speaker 3: way until I was in my early twenties and all 502 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:10,360 Speaker 3: the fallout and all the mess, get it okay? And 503 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,960 Speaker 3: then I got married and our relationship we really did 504 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 3: do it God's way. So I thought, it's God's way, 505 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:17,360 Speaker 3: It's gonna be great, It's gonna be awesome. What was 506 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 3: for three months? It was really awesome? And then I 507 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 3: found out that, you know, I needed to walk in love, 508 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,600 Speaker 3: and you know, Teresa wasn't gonna meet all my needs. 509 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,640 Speaker 3: And I didn't know that if you're the son of 510 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 3: an alcoholic, you become the rescuer. And my antenna was 511 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,040 Speaker 3: always up everywhere. How do I help? How do I rescue? 512 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,160 Speaker 3: Because I feel good about me when I rescue people. 513 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,640 Speaker 3: And she had this little light that said I came 514 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,640 Speaker 3: from a difficult home. And then I got abandoned by 515 00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:41,600 Speaker 3: this guy and he was selling drugs and ran off 516 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:43,520 Speaker 3: with another woman, and I got these two kids, and 517 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:45,960 Speaker 3: I'm looking for help. Well, we were a match made 518 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 3: in hell. And I don't mean that as a cuss word. 519 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:54,000 Speaker 3: I mean that as a description. And so we both 520 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:57,560 Speaker 3: love God. We got married, well three months in. She 521 00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,360 Speaker 3: really doesn't want me to fix her because that's all 522 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:03,040 Speaker 3: I can do. And I really, I'm really pretty struggling 523 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:07,120 Speaker 3: with some of this dysfunction. That was really attractive because so, 524 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,400 Speaker 3: I mean, you know, we're married like three six months 525 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,600 Speaker 3: and now I'm in seminary. Now I'm in counseling. It's 526 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,240 Speaker 3: the best money and the best time I ever spent. 527 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 3: Why because you can only walk in love as a 528 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 3: dearly loved. You know, I've got the word beloved. We 529 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:25,680 Speaker 3: don't use that a lot. Think about this walk in 530 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:31,560 Speaker 3: love as someone who feels God's love and acceptance pouring 531 00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:34,800 Speaker 3: over your mind and your heart and your soul. So 532 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,840 Speaker 3: at some level you don't care what anyone on the 533 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:41,160 Speaker 3: whole earth thinks about what you think, what you wear, 534 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,479 Speaker 3: what your body's like, because you are so precious and 535 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:47,760 Speaker 3: so loved, and you are someone's son or someone's daughter, 536 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:52,600 Speaker 3: and He made you special. And when you get that, now, 537 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:57,400 Speaker 3: instead of needing, you can give. And so I had 538 00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,600 Speaker 3: to learn how to do that out of it was 539 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:03,920 Speaker 3: I mean I made her nuts. She made me nuts, 540 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,120 Speaker 3: and she tried to fix me. It did not work. 541 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,440 Speaker 3: So I tried to fix her. Did not work. I 542 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:13,440 Speaker 3: talked to couples that are going through really hard times. 543 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,400 Speaker 3: It goes something like this, Well, if she would boom boom, 544 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,120 Speaker 3: boom boom, then it would be okay. Well I would 545 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,040 Speaker 3: do that, you know, if she like pick up stuff 546 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,080 Speaker 3: around the house. And you meant, before we got married, 547 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,160 Speaker 3: we like used to have sex, and now it's kids 548 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:28,840 Speaker 3: and stuff and work and pace and pressure and and 549 00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:30,280 Speaker 3: then you know, before we got married, I mean, he 550 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,440 Speaker 3: did silly stuff like open the door. Joamy knows he 551 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:35,040 Speaker 3: called me. I'm just thinking of you. We talked for 552 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,680 Speaker 3: an hour and a half on the phone. Now I 553 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,320 Speaker 3: can't even get him to text me back. And then 554 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 3: he wants to make love. Are you kidding me? Give 555 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:44,600 Speaker 3: me a break, dude. Boom boom, boom boom. And you 556 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:47,440 Speaker 3: know what, someone has to stop and say, you know what, 557 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,120 Speaker 3: I'm not going to keep asking, what do you give me? An? 558 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:54,440 Speaker 3: Am I fulfilled? That's Hollywood. Someone steps up and says, 559 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 3: you know what, we can break the cycle. I'm so 560 00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,400 Speaker 3: deeply loved by God in the midst of all this, Yeah, 561 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,200 Speaker 3: we probably need to get some help. We probably need 562 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,040 Speaker 3: to get some good counseling, and we probably need to 563 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:04,640 Speaker 3: get in a small group with other people that as 564 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,560 Speaker 3: messed up as we are, because everyone's messed up, they 565 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,720 Speaker 3: just don't admit it. And We're going to help one another. 566 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,760 Speaker 3: And I'm going to choose to give my mate what 567 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:15,040 Speaker 3: they need even when I'm not getting anything back, because 568 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:19,800 Speaker 3: once that happens, a cycle breaks, hearts get tender eyes, 569 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:26,280 Speaker 3: restoration curse. The third is you not only become the 570 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,400 Speaker 3: right person and walk in love, but you fix your 571 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:33,440 Speaker 3: hope on God and you seek to please him through 572 00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,800 Speaker 3: this relationship. So see at the heart of all of 573 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:40,920 Speaker 3: Hollywood as narcissism. I mean, we will be nice to people, 574 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,239 Speaker 3: will do things, but there's always a sort of a 575 00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:45,840 Speaker 3: i'll do this, if you do that, I'll act like this, 576 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,600 Speaker 3: if you'll do that, I'll give this to get that. 577 00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:51,680 Speaker 3: That never is sustainable. And then when you put your 578 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,960 Speaker 3: hopes and dreams on this person and then things break apart, 579 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,920 Speaker 3: you're devastated. God's the only one that can make this work, 580 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,840 Speaker 3: and until you're a whole with him, you don't have 581 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:08,200 Speaker 3: the ability or the capacity to really love. There's a 582 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:11,760 Speaker 3: couple of professors in Seattle, Pacific, and they teach a 583 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:15,200 Speaker 3: course that everyone takes that's not required. It's about love 584 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,680 Speaker 3: and relationships and how to find the right person. And 585 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,800 Speaker 3: there's no notes. You don't have to take any notes, 586 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:21,960 Speaker 3: you don't have to come to class, and they come 587 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 3: thousands of them. But they read this statement at the 588 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,600 Speaker 3: first class and everyone has to memorize the statement, and 589 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,600 Speaker 3: they go over it every week, and then they teach 590 00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:33,680 Speaker 3: people about how this works Less and Leslie Parrott write, 591 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:37,600 Speaker 3: if you attempt to build intimacy with another person before 592 00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:39,920 Speaker 3: you've done the hard work of becoming a whole and 593 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:44,600 Speaker 3: healthy person, every relationship will be an attempt to complete 594 00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:49,320 Speaker 3: the wholeness that you lack, and end in disaster. Boy, 595 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,200 Speaker 3: we could have if we were like in one of 596 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,479 Speaker 3: those old time tent meetings that I've seen on TV, 597 00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:59,120 Speaker 3: I'd say, can I get a testimony? Right? We've all 598 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:02,840 Speaker 3: done this, haven't we? We've all done this. We're trying 599 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:06,840 Speaker 3: to find someone to fix these holes in us. And 600 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:08,799 Speaker 3: see if you just say, you know what, no one 601 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,040 Speaker 3: has the power to do that. I don't care who 602 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,719 Speaker 3: they are, what they look like they will always let 603 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,800 Speaker 3: you down because they're human, just like you let them down. 604 00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,720 Speaker 3: And the paradigm is, I'm going to become the right person. 605 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,719 Speaker 3: I'm gonna walk in love with my heavenly Father so 606 00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,040 Speaker 3: I can choose to give what only he can give me. 607 00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,120 Speaker 3: And I'm going to fix my hopes and dreams not 608 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,319 Speaker 3: on this person because they're gonna let me down. But 609 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,239 Speaker 3: this marriage, I want it to be as much as 610 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:32,960 Speaker 3: I want to be fulfilled, and that will be a 611 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:36,560 Speaker 3: nice byproduct. I want this to be an offering to God. 612 00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,160 Speaker 3: There's been times in my marriage. I'll admit this, even 613 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,960 Speaker 3: as a pastor, it was like, I don't want to 614 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,799 Speaker 3: stay in this marriage. This is too hard. I'm too frustrated. 615 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,760 Speaker 3: I mean in a nice way. She makes me nuts. 616 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,719 Speaker 3: We had so much stuff to work through and we 617 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:54,920 Speaker 3: needed all the counseling a little bit more. And since 618 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,640 Speaker 3: then we have read so many books and listened to 619 00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:59,719 Speaker 3: so many things on gone away on weekends. You know why, 620 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,880 Speaker 3: because we're desperately needy to learn to learn how to 621 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,319 Speaker 3: love God and to love each other. But you know 622 00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,600 Speaker 3: what it did. It sustained us through the little hard 623 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,759 Speaker 3: times and stained us through the years three through six, 624 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,120 Speaker 3: and sustained us with baby and diapers when you didn't 625 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,239 Speaker 3: have much time, and sustained us when some of our 626 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,839 Speaker 3: teenagers were going crazy. And then boy, the empty nest. 627 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,560 Speaker 3: It was hard for me. I was real excited about it, 628 00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,840 Speaker 3: and my wife was all this grief, we're losing our kids, 629 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,560 Speaker 3: and ministry that with this way all kinds of seasons. 630 00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:31,520 Speaker 3: They have difficult, difficult times, and God wants you to 631 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:35,240 Speaker 3: know if you could but grasp that in a fallen world, 632 00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:38,640 Speaker 3: you will always have difficult times. But if you become 633 00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:40,640 Speaker 3: the right person, if you walk in love and you 634 00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:43,799 Speaker 3: set and fix your affection on him, he'll take the 635 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,120 Speaker 3: difficult times like a piece of sand that rubs the 636 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,680 Speaker 3: wrong way in the oyster of your heart, and you'll 637 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:52,000 Speaker 3: create a pearl and you'll end up if you persevere, 638 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:55,360 Speaker 3: like I've hit a window that I never dreamed was possible. 639 00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,719 Speaker 3: The intimacy and the marriage that I have is beyond 640 00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,879 Speaker 3: anything I dreamed. Every area of my marriage is better 641 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,400 Speaker 3: than I thought it could be, and every area that 642 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:07,760 Speaker 3: you can imagine, we've struggled in and then the best 643 00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:10,200 Speaker 3: we could out of all of our dysfunction, we tried 644 00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,680 Speaker 3: to model for our kids. This is the direction to go. 645 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:16,000 Speaker 3: And they they grew up and they said, you know what, 646 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,960 Speaker 3: I think, I'm going to do relationships God's way And 647 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:19,919 Speaker 3: they found mates that love God and now they're raising 648 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,759 Speaker 3: kids like this and adult kids that want to be 649 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:26,279 Speaker 3: around you. It's like, are you kidding? And here's what 650 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:30,759 Speaker 3: I'll tell you. The rewards that God has for you 651 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:35,600 Speaker 3: are beyond your wildest dreams. And the great majority of people, 652 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:39,439 Speaker 3: and the great majority of Christians bail out too soon, 653 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:45,319 Speaker 3: too early, because basically, you've been believing this stuff and 654 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:50,920 Speaker 3: these are just magazines. You can't watch five Netflix movies 655 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:54,719 Speaker 3: a week and watch three reality shows and it just 656 00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:57,239 Speaker 3: seems like all the action is out there. The fact 657 00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:01,400 Speaker 3: of the matter is this interesting research. Those who walk 658 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,239 Speaker 3: closely with God, pray together as a couple, are in 659 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:07,759 Speaker 3: God's Word on a regular basis, and worship together. Divorces 660 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:12,239 Speaker 3: in the low single digits. It happens very rare. And 661 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,400 Speaker 3: then this is research. I mean, someone has to do this. 662 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:18,520 Speaker 3: I thought, I would. You know where the hottest, greatest 663 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:23,719 Speaker 3: sex is in America. It's not in the singles at all. 664 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:29,160 Speaker 3: Monogamous couples with deep spiritual values and commitment to one another. 665 00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:33,279 Speaker 3: You know why, because sex wasn't designed to quote, just 666 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:37,520 Speaker 3: have a physical experience. When there is a spiritual connection 667 00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:39,840 Speaker 3: and a connection of the soul and the heart and 668 00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:43,040 Speaker 3: the mind, and when there's two people doing life together, 669 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,239 Speaker 3: coming together physically is a celebration. And God says the 670 00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:52,480 Speaker 3: marriage that is holy. It's not dirty, it's holy. And 671 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,520 Speaker 3: there's something that happens, even the current research about in 672 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,840 Speaker 3: a man's brain, certain things happen inside our brain that 673 00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:02,040 Speaker 3: allows walls to come down as we're with our wives 674 00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:07,680 Speaker 3: in intimacy, that allows a depth of sharing. God's plan 675 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:11,120 Speaker 3: is you become the right person, you walk in love, 676 00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:16,560 Speaker 3: you set your affections on him, and when failure occurs, 677 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:21,160 Speaker 3: repeat steps one, two and three and it will. I mean, 678 00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:23,760 Speaker 3: does anyone think Teresa and I ever have an argument? 679 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:29,799 Speaker 3: Raise your hand, put them all up. Of course? Does 680 00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:32,480 Speaker 3: anyone think that she disappoints me or I disappoint her 681 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:36,799 Speaker 3: and we hurt each other's feelings? Yeah, So in the 682 00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:39,719 Speaker 3: old days what I did was, man, this you know what, 683 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:41,759 Speaker 3: this is what she's doing. And when she changes then 684 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:43,640 Speaker 3: and she was going, well, you know I'll tell you 685 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:47,480 Speaker 3: what all change? When you change, because it was all 686 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:52,200 Speaker 3: about finding the right person falling in love, and now 687 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,840 Speaker 3: you know when that happens, I'll go back to step one. 688 00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:59,000 Speaker 3: The grammar actually isn't just become the right person. It's 689 00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:03,800 Speaker 3: literally not just imitate God. The grammar is demonstrate yourself 690 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:07,000 Speaker 3: as imitators of God. And I go back when we're 691 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:10,360 Speaker 3: having a conflict and it's a choice, and I say, God, 692 00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:14,719 Speaker 3: this is this is not I'm not happy. So what 693 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,200 Speaker 3: do you want to do with me? What is it 694 00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,600 Speaker 3: about me as a man? What is it about me 695 00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:21,319 Speaker 3: as a father? What is it about me as a 696 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,120 Speaker 3: husband that you want to change that needs to change? 697 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:26,480 Speaker 3: Because I can't. I tried like years to change her. 698 00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,640 Speaker 3: That's not going to work. I've got zero control of her, 699 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,400 Speaker 3: one hundred percent of me. So I go back to 700 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,799 Speaker 3: step one. I want to become the right person. So 701 00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,000 Speaker 3: I'm going to own I mean, even if in my 702 00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:38,320 Speaker 3: perverted little heart it's ninety percent her and ten percent me, 703 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,320 Speaker 3: I'm going to own my ten percent. I'm going to repent. 704 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,080 Speaker 3: And it's probably sixty forty and it's probably me the 705 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:48,279 Speaker 3: sixty But I'm deluded like you. That's the way we are. 706 00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,120 Speaker 3: And now I'm going to walk in love. I'm going 707 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,560 Speaker 3: to give her whatever she needs and I don't feel 708 00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,880 Speaker 3: like she deserves it, and I'm going to choose to 709 00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,080 Speaker 3: do that. Not even for her, I'm doing that for you, 710 00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:05,960 Speaker 3: and I will tell you power forgiveness, breakthrough. I come 711 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:09,239 Speaker 3: from a non Christian home, little Christian exposure. I thought, 712 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:12,960 Speaker 3: born again evangelicals, whatever the term is, of people that 713 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:16,080 Speaker 3: actually believe the Bible on a personal relationship with Jesus. 714 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,880 Speaker 3: I grew up thinking you all were just nuts, okay, 715 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,960 Speaker 3: until I saw it lived out, and then I watched 716 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,480 Speaker 3: how the world lived, and I thought, you know, I 717 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:28,280 Speaker 3: don't I've always been at least shrewd, maybe not smart, 718 00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:32,120 Speaker 3: but shrewd. And if you're shrewd, what you look as 719 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:35,719 Speaker 3: Let's see fifty percent chance round one it won't work, 720 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:38,520 Speaker 3: seventy five round two. You know, I don't know if 721 00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:39,880 Speaker 3: I can afford to be on a diet and have 722 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,279 Speaker 3: a hard body the whole rest of my life. This 723 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,719 Speaker 3: is a lot of work that doesn't work for almost anybody. 724 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,320 Speaker 3: I'm probably not in the one percent of the gene pool. 725 00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,080 Speaker 3: You know, maybe God's way does look a little better, right, 726 00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:53,319 Speaker 3: And so I'm going to take everything we've said about 727 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:56,320 Speaker 3: God's way of doing relationships and put it on a 728 00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,400 Speaker 3: little pyramid. If you are single, or if you are 729 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,719 Speaker 3: divorced and feel like there's a freedom to pursue a 730 00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,640 Speaker 3: relationship if you're a widow. Now, by the way, if 731 00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:06,560 Speaker 3: you're married, you can say how am I doing it? This? 732 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,440 Speaker 3: Here's where you want to start. The issue is not 733 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,640 Speaker 3: does she look good in tight jeans or does he 734 00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:14,280 Speaker 3: look good in a tight T shirt? And what's he drive? 735 00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:17,600 Speaker 3: The issue is spiritual. Is he a godly person? Is 736 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:21,279 Speaker 3: she a godly person? Integrity? Character? That's what you're looking 737 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,719 Speaker 3: for number one. Regardless of if the little you know 738 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:27,280 Speaker 3: electricity goes through your head, you can hold off on that. Secondly, 739 00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,080 Speaker 3: you want to see him in a social situation with 740 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,560 Speaker 3: no dating. You want to see how they treat friends 741 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:33,319 Speaker 3: and people when you go out and you hang out 742 00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:35,200 Speaker 3: and you see him at work or see him with friends. 743 00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,080 Speaker 3: You want to see him socially so they don't put 744 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,400 Speaker 3: on there like I'm trying to get you face. The 745 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:42,120 Speaker 3: moment you start dating, you paint your face, he paints his, 746 00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:44,560 Speaker 3: and you play game. Third then you want to really 747 00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,480 Speaker 3: get to know the person more beyond a little psychological 748 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,799 Speaker 3: profiles on the internet. You want to get to know 749 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:55,000 Speaker 3: his heart, her heart, dreams, personality, what do you want, kids, finances, 750 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,960 Speaker 3: You want to really get to know them all. The 751 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:02,920 Speaker 3: research tells us that before nineteen sixty the reason that 752 00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:06,000 Speaker 3: there were so fewer divorces is that people took a 753 00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:09,000 Speaker 3: long time and a slow road toward relationships for a 754 00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:13,080 Speaker 3: number of reasons. Number one, there was taboo of getting divorced. 755 00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:19,319 Speaker 3: Number two, there wasn't contraceptives or acceptance of cohabitation, and 756 00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,200 Speaker 3: so you realize if you get in a relationship and 757 00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:24,040 Speaker 3: you get pregnant, you're stuck. And so people took a 758 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,160 Speaker 3: long time to figure out is this the right person 759 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:29,600 Speaker 3: they've evaluated. In nineteen sixty nine, the reform of the 760 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:33,000 Speaker 3: laws changed. There was no fault divorce. Pretty soon, cohabitation 761 00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:35,560 Speaker 3: went from a thing that people should never do, whether 762 00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:38,600 Speaker 3: you're a believer or not, to it's normal, it's accepted. 763 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:42,480 Speaker 3: So people slide into relationships. They slide into relationships. Now 764 00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:44,040 Speaker 3: they feel trapped. Now they have a baby, and now 765 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:46,200 Speaker 3: it's like, this is not the right person. But I 766 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,000 Speaker 3: took me two and a half years to find out, 767 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:51,440 Speaker 3: and so now I'm going to get a divorce, and 768 00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,600 Speaker 3: so you want to know this person. Then you kind 769 00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:55,839 Speaker 3: of hold back those emotional feelings, and as God gives 770 00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:57,720 Speaker 3: you green lights, then you click in on the emotion 771 00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,680 Speaker 3: and then are you ready for this? As these line up, 772 00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:06,000 Speaker 3: you get married. Okay, you get married, and then the 773 00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:09,480 Speaker 3: spiritual and the social and the soul and the connection 774 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:16,239 Speaker 3: and you don't just have sex. You make love. And 775 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:18,480 Speaker 3: the angels in heaven and the God of Heaven, far 776 00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:22,040 Speaker 3: from being dirty, says this is a holy and pure thing. 777 00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,719 Speaker 3: And so when your kids are small and they ask 778 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,759 Speaker 3: about sex, you tell them absolutely, it's a wonderful gift 779 00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:29,600 Speaker 3: from God. And then when they're preteens, you say, yeah, 780 00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:31,640 Speaker 3: pretty soon your body is going to be changing because 781 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:33,960 Speaker 3: God is preparing you for something very wonderful. And then 782 00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,759 Speaker 3: when they're teenagers, you talk about sex and how the 783 00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,520 Speaker 3: sacred stewardship that it is and why, and you know what, 784 00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:45,080 Speaker 3: you train your kids. You give them God's prescription early 785 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:48,040 Speaker 3: on and all the way. You'd be glad you did. 786 00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:53,520 Speaker 3: Now that little pyramid that I gave you, I did 787 00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:55,920 Speaker 3: for a number of years a divorce recovery program in 788 00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,359 Speaker 3: our church, and eighty percent of the people would be 789 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:00,799 Speaker 3: people that were not Christians, but they'd been divorced and 790 00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:02,440 Speaker 3: they found out this was a really good place, and 791 00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:06,360 Speaker 3: so they would come. And so I thought showing them 792 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:09,040 Speaker 3: that pyramid and what they ought to do would probably 793 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,279 Speaker 3: not go over real. Well, So here's the one that 794 00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:12,879 Speaker 3: I showed them. I put on just on a big 795 00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:15,120 Speaker 3: sheet of paper and I put it up and I said, hey, 796 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,280 Speaker 3: you know, you know, you probably think I'm a pastor 797 00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:19,200 Speaker 3: and I'm going to really shove Jesus down your throat 798 00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,000 Speaker 3: and tell you people, you know, how terrible you've been 799 00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:24,080 Speaker 3: what you need to do. And had said, actually, I'm 800 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,359 Speaker 3: I'm pretty new. I just became a Christian, you know, 801 00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:30,359 Speaker 3: early adulthood. Let me just talk about relationships. This is 802 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:33,279 Speaker 3: how I learned to do relationships, and just let me 803 00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:35,840 Speaker 3: walk through this. I learned to do relationships. I was 804 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:38,000 Speaker 3: looking for a hot girl and maybe you two, and 805 00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:40,959 Speaker 3: you know, I'd go to bars and then, like most 806 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,279 Speaker 3: of you, probably within the at least a week or 807 00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:44,640 Speaker 3: if that, and then night you kind of hook up 808 00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:47,240 Speaker 3: and you have get involved sexually or at some level, 809 00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:49,800 Speaker 3: and then pretty soon you have, you know, the dropping 810 00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:52,200 Speaker 3: of thirty points of IQ and you have these overwhelming 811 00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,399 Speaker 3: feelings and said, oh, I'm in love and I'm love 812 00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:55,800 Speaker 3: and you know you don't. And then you kind of 813 00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:57,560 Speaker 3: get to know them, and sometimes you start to get 814 00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,719 Speaker 3: to know her and you go, oh, my lands, she 815 00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:03,120 Speaker 3: is so hot that there's zero between your ears, right. 816 00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:07,360 Speaker 3: Or this guy, like he is a hunk, and I 817 00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:10,239 Speaker 3: mean he's in the self worship. He kisses his own 818 00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:13,560 Speaker 3: biceps all the time. I mean, he's a narcissist. I 819 00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:16,560 Speaker 3: mean it's like sickening being around him. He looks good 820 00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,319 Speaker 3: from a distance, and so you go, what, that's not 821 00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:19,600 Speaker 3: the one for me. So what do you do? You 822 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,839 Speaker 3: go back fishing physical, emotional, And then you find someone, Hey, 823 00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:25,239 Speaker 3: we really connect and as you really connect, and for 824 00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,799 Speaker 3: many people, you've already started living together and then you 825 00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:31,120 Speaker 3: know social year around his friends, your friends, even family, 826 00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:33,759 Speaker 3: and then you usually move in together and you do 827 00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:35,440 Speaker 3: it for three months or eight months or a year 828 00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:38,280 Speaker 3: or two. And what is it about all the celebs 829 00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:41,439 Speaker 3: and all people? At some point there's this sense there's 830 00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:45,560 Speaker 3: more to marriage than just cohabitation and having kids and 831 00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:49,080 Speaker 3: sharing jobs. And it's like, because God has put in 832 00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:51,600 Speaker 3: the DNA, it's a spiritual moment and what do they 833 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,480 Speaker 3: want to do? They call people like me and say 834 00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:57,839 Speaker 3: would you marry us? Right? And so I asked him 835 00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:01,640 Speaker 3: in the divorce recovery how many of you did relationships 836 00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:05,920 Speaker 3: that way like I did one hundred percent of the hands. 837 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,000 Speaker 3: And then this was before doctor Phil. So I feel 838 00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:12,040 Speaker 3: very proud of myself at this moment. I said, let 839 00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:14,160 Speaker 3: me ask you, so, how did that work for you? 840 00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:16,719 Speaker 3: I mean, we're in the divorce recovery class and they're 841 00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:19,719 Speaker 3: going it didn't. And so what I did? I said, okay, 842 00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:21,399 Speaker 3: are you already? It was on a sheet of paper. 843 00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:24,840 Speaker 3: I said, ready, one, two, three, turn the sheet of 844 00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:27,719 Speaker 3: paper over. And I said, you know, if the pyramids 845 00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,879 Speaker 3: were made like that, they probably wouldn't be here today. 846 00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:36,120 Speaker 3: And then I said, look at how they're made. This 847 00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:39,640 Speaker 3: is God's design. If you really want to help, first 848 00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:42,520 Speaker 3: get right with God. He loves you, and go on 849 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:47,040 Speaker 3: this journey and it'll transform your life. And for some 850 00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:49,759 Speaker 3: of you that's the message he has. In fact, let 851 00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:51,400 Speaker 3: me give you a couple just to go thoughts, and 852 00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:54,800 Speaker 3: we'll wrap things up here. Three or four quick questions. 853 00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,400 Speaker 3: Question number one sort of an honest moment between you 854 00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:01,480 Speaker 3: and yourself. Which triangle most represents your approach to building 855 00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:05,600 Speaker 3: lasting relationships, whether you're married or not. I mean, if 856 00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:08,360 Speaker 3: you were honest, don't tell anybody, but which one Hollywood's 857 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:12,160 Speaker 3: or Gods? Second, what would your present and or future 858 00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:15,120 Speaker 3: relationship look like? I mean which what do you want 859 00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:21,880 Speaker 3: it to look like? Gods or Hollywood's. Third? What specific 860 00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:24,160 Speaker 3: steps do you need to take to begin implementing God's 861 00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:28,080 Speaker 3: secret to a lasting relationship? And let me do a 862 00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:31,080 Speaker 3: little coaching here. If you're an uninvolved single, what I 863 00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:34,520 Speaker 3: mean is you're you're not in a deep relationship. Don't 864 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,320 Speaker 3: do the dance, don't do the little thing and the 865 00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:42,719 Speaker 3: little you know, go through that process, hold your emotions back. 866 00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:47,440 Speaker 3: We're going to talk about until a green light comes on. Second, 867 00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:49,879 Speaker 3: if you're an involved single, you're dating someone or maybe 868 00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:52,560 Speaker 3: you're living with them right now, then let me encourage 869 00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,279 Speaker 3: you to take that try and go out and say 870 00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,840 Speaker 3: where are we? What? What? What? What did we skip? 871 00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,560 Speaker 3: What would we need to do to get this relationship 872 00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:03,120 Speaker 3: where it really functions the way we want it to 873 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:06,720 Speaker 3: and God wants it to. If you're married, I encourage 874 00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:09,040 Speaker 3: you to sit down over a couple of coffee this 875 00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:11,080 Speaker 3: afternoon and kind of look at that triangle and look 876 00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:13,160 Speaker 3: at each area and just kind of say, how do 877 00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:15,000 Speaker 3: you think we're doing? You know, scale of one to five? 878 00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:18,000 Speaker 3: One maybe not so good, five awesome? You know, how 879 00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:21,759 Speaker 3: are we doing in spiritual, social, emotional, psychological? And then 880 00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:24,560 Speaker 3: will you please I'm going to talk to ladies. First, 881 00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:30,759 Speaker 3: do not use this as a club. Okay, Remember you're 882 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:36,000 Speaker 3: going to mimic God, kind, compassionate forgiving. See if someone says, 883 00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:38,160 Speaker 3: I'm sure glad we went to church, I finally got 884 00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:38,480 Speaker 3: you to go. 885 00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:42,160 Speaker 5: We never pray together. You don't come to church with me. 886 00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:45,479 Speaker 5: You're not spiritual. You know, I got news he's never 887 00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:50,080 Speaker 5: going to ever. Or if you're the guy, you're going, hey, man, 888 00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:52,799 Speaker 5: finally someone's talking about sex. My pa, may I'll tell 889 00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:54,359 Speaker 5: you what I've been trying to get through this. It's 890 00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:57,439 Speaker 5: kind of hard to bring up that, and so well, yeah, honey, 891 00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,239 Speaker 5: those other four things are really important, But let's talk 892 00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:00,560 Speaker 5: about the top of it and how. 893 00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:04,800 Speaker 3: We're don't do that. Take that sheet of paper and 894 00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,560 Speaker 3: a cup of coffee and say, you know something, we 895 00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:11,080 Speaker 3: all struggle. Let's just talk about where do you have 896 00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,680 Speaker 3: sense we're at with a gentleness, and what would it 897 00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:16,640 Speaker 3: look like to maybe, just maybe you choose an area 898 00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:18,640 Speaker 3: that we could make some just baby steps toward and 899 00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:21,160 Speaker 3: all choose an area, and can we talk about what 900 00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,719 Speaker 3: it would look like to live before God and to 901 00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:27,719 Speaker 3: be kind each other, to forgive each other, to make progress. 902 00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:33,640 Speaker 3: We're going to help you discover both inside outside of marriage, 903 00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:37,759 Speaker 3: how to know with absolute certainty if you're in love, 904 00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:40,560 Speaker 3: and the difference between love and infatuation. 905 00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:46,919 Speaker 2: You've been listening to Living on the Edge with chip 906 00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,960 Speaker 2: Ingram here on pray dot com. The message you just 907 00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:53,960 Speaker 2: heard is from our series Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships. 908 00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:57,759 Speaker 2: To hear chips complete teaching from Ephesians Chapter five, or 909 00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:00,759 Speaker 2: to learn more about our ministry, visit Living on the 910 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:05,239 Speaker 2: Edge dot org or download the chip Ingram ap well. 911 00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,560 Speaker 2: That wraps up this edition of Living on the Edge 912 00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:10,560 Speaker 2: with chip Ingram. Thanks for listening to this Sunday service 913 00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:13,279 Speaker 2: here on pre dot com. I hope you'll join us 914 00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:13,759 Speaker 2: next time. 915 00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:23,680 Speaker 4: The podcast The Bible in a Year with Jack Graham 916 00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:27,239 Speaker 4: is a moving and inspiring Biblical audio experience that will 917 00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:30,319 Speaker 4: help you master wisdom from the world's greatest book. In 918 00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:34,480 Speaker 4: each episode, you'll learn to apply Biblical principles to everyday life. 919 00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:38,080 Speaker 3: Each cinematic episode is a journey through the Bible's most 920 00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:41,560 Speaker 3: profound stories that will strengthen your appreciation of the Word 921 00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:44,520 Speaker 3: and inspire you to keep learning. 922 00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:47,320 Speaker 4: Listen to the Bible in a Year with Jack Graham 923 00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:50,960 Speaker 4: on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.