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Speaker 1: It is time now for my Strawberry Letter. Forward today

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Speaker 1: and listen. Guys. If you need advice on relationships, on dating,

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Speaker 1: on work, on sex, on parenting, and more, please submit

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Speaker 1: your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click

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Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, buckle up, hold on tight, We

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Speaker 1: got it. Four year hibberties the Strawberry Letter. We can

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Speaker 1: be reading yours just like we're reading this one subject.

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Speaker 1: You can't hide a beautiful body. Dear Stephen Shirley, I

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Speaker 1: am a thirty year old single woman without any children,

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Speaker 1: and I've been dating a forty one year old man

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Speaker 1: that has three young daughters. We've been together for five months,

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Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, he does not approve of

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Speaker 1: how I dress. He told me that I dress as

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Speaker 1: if I want attention from other men, and not like

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Speaker 1: a wholesome woman. I am a full time legal assistant

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Speaker 1: at a popular law firm, and I take law classes

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Speaker 1: at night. At work, I'm in heels and pencil skirts,

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Speaker 1: and on the weekends, I dress for whatever the occasion

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Speaker 1: is and it's my own personal style. I have a beautiful,

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Speaker 1: curvy body, and at my age, I don't see the

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Speaker 1: problem with me wearing a top that shows a little

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Speaker 1: stomach or a dress that shows off my curves. He

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Speaker 1: didn't have a problem with how I dress when he

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Speaker 1: met me, but now he has been talking about it NonStop.

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Speaker 1: I recently met his daughters and I was dressed appropriately

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Speaker 1: in jeans and a sweatshirt. He still said that I

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Speaker 1: need to do a better I need to do better

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Speaker 1: at presenting myself in a more wholesome manner when he met.

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Speaker 1: When he and I met, it was not wholesome. So

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Speaker 1: why does he want me to seem wholesome now? I

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Speaker 1: never intended to be a role model for his children.

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Speaker 1: He says he wants me to be more like his

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Speaker 1: friend's wife. And that's all fine and good if I

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Speaker 1: were an older, stay at home mom, but I'm not.

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Speaker 1: Why is he bringing this up now and trying to

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Speaker 1: change me. I'm at the point where I want to

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Speaker 1: settle down and he could be the one, but obviously

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Speaker 1: I'm not the woman he really wants. Could this be

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Speaker 1: a deal breaker? Please advise? Well, you know what, It

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Speaker 1: depends on how you look at it. It could be

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Speaker 1: a deal breaker if he's like this controlling dude you

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Speaker 1: know that wants to tell you how to dress, and

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Speaker 1: you know, compare you to other women like he's doing

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Speaker 1: in this letter all of that. It could be that,

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Speaker 1: or it could be he's considering you for a little

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Speaker 1: more serious role in his life, because I don't understand

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Speaker 1: why he would even be concerned about how you're dressing

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Speaker 1: if you're not dressing like, you know, a stripper or

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Speaker 1: something in front of his friends and daughters. Dressing for

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Speaker 1: him in private is one thing, but there is something

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Speaker 1: to be said about appropriate dress in front of others,

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Speaker 1: especially young impressionable girls. I'll give him that. Although you

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Speaker 1: said you were dressed properly when you met his daughters

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Speaker 1: in jeans and a sweatshirt. You didn't say that you're

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Speaker 1: tummy was out. You didn't say any of that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: this does sound control and he does sound bossy after

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Speaker 1: only five months in. And remember what he's doing now,

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Speaker 1: how he's talking to you now, you guys haven't even

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Speaker 1: made the six month mark. Uh. That's how it's going

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Speaker 1: to be in a relationship and into a marriage. So

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have to decide if that's what you want.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you have your own personal style and you

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Speaker 1: said you don't see anything wrong I mean that's what's fashionable.

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Speaker 1: Crop tops are fashionable, Uh, you know, as long as

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Speaker 1: you're really had on one in the dr at all

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Speaker 1: at all. I mean, you could do things tastefully. But

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Speaker 1: we were at the beach. Can we just say that, Steve,

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Speaker 1: we were. We were. It was a swim party and everything.

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Speaker 1: We weren't that no beach. We was on the inside

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Speaker 1: in the auditorium. But I saw you. I don't know

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Speaker 1: where you came from from the beach. Didn't look like

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Speaker 1: bel didn't have on that anyway, back to the letter,

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Speaker 1: you can't hide a beautiful body as a subject. So

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Speaker 1: you know, even though you never intended to be a

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Speaker 1: role model for his children, sometimes we're thrust in those positions.

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Speaker 1: You know, you're dating this guy and he does have daughters,

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Speaker 1: so you have to consider that when you are around them,

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Speaker 1: you're you're You're not there their mom or anything, but

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Speaker 1: they are. If you're around their dad, they are looking

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Speaker 1: to you for certain things. So you know, I'm not

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Speaker 1: telling you to cover up and dress like a nun

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Speaker 1: from head to tow or anything like that, but be mindful,

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Speaker 1: especially around the daughters, of how you're presenting yourself. Uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, just do that for their sake. Okay, come

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Speaker 1: out of yourself for a little bit and just do

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Speaker 1: that for their sake. As far as you and this

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Speaker 1: guy goes, time will only tell if he continues to

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Speaker 1: be controlling. He sounds like a nagger and all that already.

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Speaker 1: But you've got to decide if you want to deal

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Speaker 1: with that, because it's not going to get any better.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, when you're fine and beautiful, you can't hide it,

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Speaker 1: you cannot, Steve Well, this is a real simple figure

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Speaker 1: right here. Appreciate everything you said, Sherley. Here's the other

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Speaker 1: side of the coin. See the way you dress, that's

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Speaker 1: how you got him. The way you look, that's how

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Speaker 1: you got him. See he liked all that when he

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Speaker 1: saw you. That's what got his attention. You had what

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Speaker 1: he wanted. That's why y'all together. Now, the little pencil skirts,

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Speaker 1: the tight fit, the crop tops to cleave and showing

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Speaker 1: the rap skirts, the fitted sweater, y'all go out on weekends.

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Speaker 1: You dress how you want. Bam, that's what got him.

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Speaker 1: But now he want to change. Well, see the problem

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Speaker 1: he got now is he probably need a nun. He

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Speaker 1: need to date somebody. That's a little bit different than you.

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Speaker 1: Here's I'm first, I'm gonna get into this right here,

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Speaker 1: You thirty and he forty one. That's eleven years. That's

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Speaker 1: a gap. That's a gap, and it's a real real gap.

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Speaker 1: When it's more than an eleven year distance, eleven year difference,

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Speaker 1: it's probably more because he's probably an older forty one,

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Speaker 1: if you know what I mean, He probably an old,

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Speaker 1: stuck up forty one. Then you might just be a

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Speaker 1: little bit younger thirty. But you a lawyer, you work

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Speaker 1: at a law firm, You got a career. You gotta

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Speaker 1: go to work appropriate. You can't go in there looking

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Speaker 1: like anything. You know, you can't go to work looking

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Speaker 1: like you a case. So I think what's really happening

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Speaker 1: here is this eleven year age difference is bigger than

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Speaker 1: eleven years because in his mind, he wants something else.

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Speaker 1: All Right, we'll come back with part two of your

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Speaker 1: response at twenty three after the hour. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to let's recap today's Strawberry letters, Steve. Let's

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Speaker 1: get to part two of your response, subject you can't

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Speaker 1: hide a beautiful body. Well, this thirty year old lady

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Speaker 1: married this old ass for the one year old man

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Speaker 1: with these three damned daughters that she ain't got no kids.

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Speaker 1: They've been together five months and he don't approve now

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Speaker 1: how she dressed. You know, he says you dressed like

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Speaker 1: he want attention from other men. See that's crazy, because

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Speaker 1: see you dressed got attention from him. Now that he

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Speaker 1: got you, he don't want nobody else paying attention to you.

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Speaker 1: This is the beginning of something greater. Now, I really

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Speaker 1: do believe that this dressing is the beginning of something greater.

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Speaker 1: And like Shirley said, he could be very controlling. Next thing,

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Speaker 1: you know, you can't whear it is. Next thing, you

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Speaker 1: know why you're going over there, And next thing, you

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Speaker 1: know why you're spending that. Next thing, you know, I

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Speaker 1: don't want you driving that carnal mole. Next thing, you know,

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Speaker 1: you ain't gonna hand no friends. I don't see a

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Speaker 1: problem with me man or top to show a little stomach,

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Speaker 1: or a dress that shows off my courage. He didn't

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Speaker 1: have a problem with you dress how he met me,

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Speaker 1: You dog gonna write he didn't. But now I've been

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Speaker 1: talking about it non stop. That's called some of his

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Speaker 1: damn friends is looking at you. See now he's starting

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Speaker 1: to notice some of the other men looking at you. Now,

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Speaker 1: he's feeling sort of inadequate. You know, I don't want

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Speaker 1: you to do this. I don't want you to He's

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Speaker 1: feeling some little little bit of insecurity too. I think

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Speaker 1: I recently met his daughters, and I was dressed appropriately

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Speaker 1: in jeans and a sweatshirt. He still said, I need

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Speaker 1: to do a better presenting myself in a more wholesome matter.

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Speaker 1: What the hell and wholesome? That's what I'm saying. Why

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Speaker 1: does he want her to dust cover it up from

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Speaker 1: head to tell? So? Why you want me to seem wholesome? Now?

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Speaker 1: I never tend to be a role model for his children. Okay, now,

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Speaker 1: let me explain something. You can't say that. I can't

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Speaker 1: say that to him, man, I ain't trying to be

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Speaker 1: no damn role model for your damn kids. Uh. I

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Speaker 1: can't say that. I don't say that, lady. He ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna handle that good, all right? He says that he

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Speaker 1: wants me to be more like his friend's wife, and

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Speaker 1: that's all finally good. Well, he should marry his friends.

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Speaker 1: He should just go dates one of his one have

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Speaker 1: his friend's wife introduced him to some of her friends.

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Speaker 1: They all three kids, stay at home mom. Yeah, driving

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Speaker 1: minute van. It all, it's all good. Ain't nothing wrong

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Speaker 1: with that. But you're gonna get out this little fan says,

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Speaker 1: call you guy. You're gonna get yourself a minute van,

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Speaker 1: get down here to this damn save a lot and

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Speaker 1: get you damn groceries. Wow, that's what you're gonna do.

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Speaker 1: Why is he bringing this up now and trying to

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Speaker 1: change me. I'm at the point why I want to

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Speaker 1: settle down. And he could be the one, but obviously

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Speaker 1: I'm not the woman he really wants. Well, now, hold on,

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Speaker 1: let's just take these last two statements. I'm at the

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Speaker 1: point where I'm ready to settle down and he could

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Speaker 1: be the one, could be the one, and but obviously

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Speaker 1: I'm not the woman he really wants. Okay, he could

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Speaker 1: be the one, but obviously I'm not the woman he

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Speaker 1: really wants. Could this be a deal breaker? It could

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Speaker 1: be a deal break. I think what you should do, though,

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Speaker 1: is wait a little while and just see how it goes.

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Speaker 1: You know, don't make a commitment. Just stay in this

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Speaker 1: relationship and see how I go, See how heavy he

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Speaker 1: gets with them, what he wants, you know, you know,

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Speaker 1: some of the little changes you can make in your

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Speaker 1: dress might be good for you, but then some of

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Speaker 1: it might not be what you want to do. You

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Speaker 1: can't just totally flip the script for this man, and

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Speaker 1: he ain't flipping the script for you. I will flip

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Speaker 1: the script for a woman if she flipped the script

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Speaker 1: for me. This as long as I get me stupid,

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Speaker 1: got to give flipp you woman. That's what j J

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Speaker 1: J the woman he used to date big. It ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna go like you playing whistle no no, no no

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Speaker 1: no j that's how he liked it. You ain't been flipped.

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Speaker 1: I don't either. How come out facing the head bo.

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Speaker 1: That's not a good feeling. I don't know what you're

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Speaker 1: doing when you flip me? First day coming out? What

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Speaker 1: is going? What were you doing here? Calling? Calling sexual

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Speaker 1: time out? It's too hard. Can't flip me. Usually when

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Speaker 1: youre getting flipped, it is followed by shut up. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: how about to say soon as you get flipped, you'll

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Speaker 1: respect is taken. No, man, you're not gonna talk to

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Speaker 1: me like that. No, no, no, no no. If you

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Speaker 1: keep getting flipped, it follows up with a slap. Oh man,

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Speaker 1: this is this is scary. This. Yeah, you know now

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Speaker 1: that you look at it, Tommy, as I was doing

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Speaker 1: light flipping, this is aggressive flipping. Also, once you get flipping,

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Speaker 1: once you get flipped, you get this baby, fix my play,

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Speaker 1: fix your damn. I don't say place. I can't get

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Speaker 1: the sandwich. I can't get the sandwich. You're gonna lead

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Speaker 1: the covers on me like that? This ugly? Right? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you don't want to gi Yeah, take your flip back, Tommy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: all right, look, we gotta go email us or instagram us. Guys. Uh,

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Speaker 1: your your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter at Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: f M. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show