WEBVTT - Therapy Session (Part 2)

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<v Speaker 1>I am all in. I am all in with Scott

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<v Speaker 1>Patterson and I heart radio podcast. Okay, everybody here we are,

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<v Speaker 1>and we have a very special guest coming up, Kim Kirk.

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<v Speaker 1>She's a psychologist, therapist, and she was on her prior

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<v Speaker 1>episode and you know, I said to Amy, I said,

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<v Speaker 1>we've got to get Kim back on to talk about

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<v Speaker 1>this Paris thing, because, uh, you know, I was having

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<v Speaker 1>some issues with Paris and I've worked them out now. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>but Kim's gonna come on. We're gonna have a talk.

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<v Speaker 1>She's always fascinating, she's always uh really cuts right to

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<v Speaker 1>the heart of what is going on and and she's

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<v Speaker 1>going to do the same with Paris though, so so

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<v Speaker 1>tune in and uh we'll be back with Kim work

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<v Speaker 1>after these words. Yeah, Jim Kirk, Hi, how are you doing.

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<v Speaker 1>Good to see you again. I'm so glad you could

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<v Speaker 1>join us. Um, listen, we gotta get into this Paris storyline.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a it's it's jangling my brain around a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>I you know, how would you describe Paris? First of all?

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmmm, Uh, Paris so polarizing and I know you

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<v Speaker 1>have such adoration for her because I've been listening to

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<v Speaker 1>the podcast. Paris reminds me of Um and I have

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<v Speaker 1>I have affection for her, but I've watched the series

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<v Speaker 1>several times, so I know the trajectory of her story.

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<v Speaker 1>But it is it's I'm not surprised when you react

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<v Speaker 1>to her that way because the signs that she's putting

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<v Speaker 1>off it evoke those feelings. She's not a she doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>put off as a safe person. And so I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know if this is a good UM example because it's

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<v Speaker 1>a dated movie. But one example that comes to mind

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<v Speaker 1>is um Glen Garry Glenn Ross movie, that iconic scene

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<v Speaker 1>with Alec Baldwin where always be closing is you know,

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<v Speaker 1>it's very fowl. The language is not but but it's

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<v Speaker 1>it's basically, um, if you if you get to this destination,

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<v Speaker 1>you will get this and if you don't meet this destination,

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<v Speaker 1>you will be annihilated. And you can imagine, you know, my,

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<v Speaker 1>my Glen Garry. Like, I don't know how relatable that

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<v Speaker 1>is to a lot of our if that's a good

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<v Speaker 1>analogy or not with people, but but it's all another

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<v Speaker 1>analogy I think of with Paris, and if she was

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<v Speaker 1>like injected with some serum and she's got to get

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<v Speaker 1>to this destination in this period of time or your

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<v Speaker 1>whole family will die and you will die. It's that

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<v Speaker 1>level of um laser focus and everything, everything in my

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<v Speaker 1>path is either going to be a support or it's

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<v Speaker 1>going to be against me. And you're either with me

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<v Speaker 1>or you're against me. It's that absolute. So when and

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<v Speaker 1>like you said, um, when we compare her to somebody

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<v Speaker 1>like Rory, and they may be equals intellectually, Rory has

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<v Speaker 1>especially with Loralae and then with the town, and then

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<v Speaker 1>we've added in her grandparents. Um, she has people for her.

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<v Speaker 1>We're cheering her along, we want this for her, we

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<v Speaker 1>celebrate this with her. She knows she's smart. But there's

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<v Speaker 1>also safety internally, and it's like Paris is. Safety is

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<v Speaker 1>going to be, like you said, if I get to

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<v Speaker 1>this destination, then I will live. What an what an

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<v Speaker 1>important and insightful analysis, because if you don't have that safety,

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<v Speaker 1>you can fail miserably. I mean you can still succeed,

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<v Speaker 1>but at what price to others around you? But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's safety is so crucial. But that safety also allows

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<v Speaker 1>you to make mistakes because I know if I make

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<v Speaker 1>a mistake, which is which is critical. It's absolutely it's

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<v Speaker 1>not just gonna happen. It's necessary to happen, because if

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<v Speaker 1>I make a mistake and I get back up again,

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<v Speaker 1>I know I don't get annihilated. I've got room to grow,

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<v Speaker 1>I've got room to look around. And Paris is just

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<v Speaker 1>so singlely focused. And I you made a good point

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<v Speaker 1>as well. When I have no safety in here and

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<v Speaker 1>I have no control, I am going to seek it

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<v Speaker 1>out externally. And that's what she does. She seeks it

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<v Speaker 1>out externally, which is you know, she's young, she's a teenager.

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<v Speaker 1>They're disregulated. We're expecting her to be disregulated. But anytime

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<v Speaker 1>I see anybody that's absolutely desperate to exert control externing,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, I know they feel powerless inside, absolutely powerless,

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<v Speaker 1>right right, Wow, Landing, How was this landing for you?

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<v Speaker 1>Because I know you've had some some understandably um I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to say heart but very direct criticisms of her,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think it's understandable. She doesn't put out the

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<v Speaker 1>warm and fuzzies, so some of it is due to

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<v Speaker 1>uh not, It's it's not against Liza Wheel personally. I

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<v Speaker 1>think she's wonderful actress, wonderful, wonderful person. She did a

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<v Speaker 1>great job. Absolutely, Um, It's just I was the thing

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<v Speaker 1>I was reacting to was the character itself losing whatever

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<v Speaker 1>um value it had to threaten and intimidate, uh rory

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<v Speaker 1>because as a currency, that character had a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>power and started out as saying this really drastic threat,

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<v Speaker 1>and then it became a little bit cartoonish for me,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was disappointed in that, you know, as the

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<v Speaker 1>story progressed, and I so, I wonder why they did that.

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<v Speaker 1>So so the criticism isn't it's it's not against Paris.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess it's I don't know, maybe I thought I

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<v Speaker 1>thought they just went a little overboard and made it

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<v Speaker 1>made Paris so off the charts, ridiculous, wacko, off the

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<v Speaker 1>wall without allowing us to have I mean, if I

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<v Speaker 1>think it would have been more powerful storytelling if we

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<v Speaker 1>had a little bit of compassion for if we knew

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit more about or give us a little

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<v Speaker 1>background and not just one shot of her mother at

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<v Speaker 1>a locker who's detached and kind of piss because she

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<v Speaker 1>has to be there or whatever, but you know, give

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<v Speaker 1>us something that we can hang our hat on, so

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<v Speaker 1>we can so we can just see another dimension of Paris.

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<v Speaker 1>That's all. That's all I was saying. You don't need

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<v Speaker 1>a lot, you know, just just give me something. Extead

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<v Speaker 1>of this carton. Now she's getting just completely ridiculous and

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<v Speaker 1>you kind of laugh at her instead of with her

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<v Speaker 1>at times, and I didn't want to do that. Um yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and I see, you know, and what to me, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what you're talking about on on some of the

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<v Speaker 1>other characters on the show that the supporting stuff, like

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<v Speaker 1>a Taylor and a and a Kirk, you know, or

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<v Speaker 1>they just kind of come in. They're exaggerated. I know,

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<v Speaker 1>people will say they recognize those kind of people from

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<v Speaker 1>the town. They're usually exaggerated, but they are kind of

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<v Speaker 1>cartoonish and they kind of come in and zip in

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<v Speaker 1>and zip out. And her, she's going to be a

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<v Speaker 1>much more sensitive character on this show side. But I

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<v Speaker 1>think I think all of the characters are. I think

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<v Speaker 1>I think all of the characters elevated and not necessarily cartoonish,

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<v Speaker 1>but they do come and they do sort of exist

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<v Speaker 1>in this sort of unreality. I mean, have you have

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<v Speaker 1>you ever known I mean, can you even imagine in

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<v Speaker 1>real life Rory and a Laurelai with all the answer

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<v Speaker 1>going back and forth walking to a diner, I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>or the conversations they have crossing, crossing in front the

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<v Speaker 1>go to the diner a version of that, okay, right right?

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<v Speaker 1>Not not so well choreographed, of course, this this and

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<v Speaker 1>this banter that there's no us and trail off distraction.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just so perfect and well written, right, it's just

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<v Speaker 1>so neat. Um so yeah, I mean I think we're

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<v Speaker 1>they're training the audience to expect heightened reality. Yeah, it's

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<v Speaker 1>called fiction. Um so yeah, dummy, it's called fiction. Uh

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<v Speaker 1>So this begs another conversation about winning? Is it healthy?

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<v Speaker 1>What is it? What's the famous all things in moderation? Right, right,

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<v Speaker 1>all things? Well, because you know, like your point is

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<v Speaker 1>getting into Harvard, it's an amazing goal. But then you know,

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<v Speaker 1>we've on people that have worked really really hard to

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<v Speaker 1>achieve something so specific and then they get there and

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<v Speaker 1>then what, yeah, is is the if if her goal

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<v Speaker 1>is I'm going to get to this destination and I

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<v Speaker 1>will finally be loved and it's not met, then what happens? Yeah? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>then then what happens that single focus? And when you

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<v Speaker 1>were talking about like is winning everything it is to

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<v Speaker 1>her right now? What is what is that? But she's

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<v Speaker 1>sixteen too, which which then we bring in. Wouldn't it

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<v Speaker 1>be nice for someone who's not sixteen too much older

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<v Speaker 1>than sixteen could give her some perspective that she can't

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<v Speaker 1>see right now, You're gonna burn yourself out. You're going, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>she's you know, I look at Paris and she's like

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<v Speaker 1>simultaneously attacking and defending at the same time. So you

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<v Speaker 1>may go, you know, I want to help her, and

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<v Speaker 1>then you go over there and you get the part

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<v Speaker 1>of her that's really suspicious of what do you want,

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<v Speaker 1>and you might go, all right, I'm I'm out. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. So it's kind of that self perpetuating problem

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<v Speaker 1>of I want this, but I'm so protected of myself

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<v Speaker 1>that I'm actually pushing it away and she can't see

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<v Speaker 1>that either. Um. You know, we see Paris often giving

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<v Speaker 1>Rory the secrets to her success? Why is she doing that?

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<v Speaker 1>If she's a rival? That's always yeah, I heard you

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<v Speaker 1>post that before. It's interesting because I wonder that too,

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<v Speaker 1>Like is she I think I always wondered too, Like

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<v Speaker 1>before Rory got there, how many other rivals have she?

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<v Speaker 1>Just you know knocked aside, Um, Madeleine and Louise to

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<v Speaker 1>me are more support staff ladies in waiting versus friends.

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<v Speaker 1>They're not really friends. So so I always wonder with Rory,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe there's a level of and you were an athlete

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<v Speaker 1>and you know, like very driven. Is there a level

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<v Speaker 1>of does it take you to a higher level when

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<v Speaker 1>you've got a good competitor? Is that one aspect of it?

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<v Speaker 1>And is there another aspect that part of her like Rory,

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<v Speaker 1>part of her wouldn't mind if Rory, like there can

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<v Speaker 1>only be one, but maybe it would be nice if

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<v Speaker 1>you kind of hung around with me on this race.

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<v Speaker 1>Inevitably I'm gonna win, but maybe it's kind of nice

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<v Speaker 1>to have your rounds. I don't know. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>It's an interesting question. So, um, that's that's kind of

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<v Speaker 1>how I view it. Like there's a lot of mixed

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<v Speaker 1>feelings about it, and I think she kind of likes her.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's the first time she's felt threatened that

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<v Speaker 1>somebody could overtake her. Ryan back down. Yet Rory is

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<v Speaker 1>so emotionally mature because she's pretty much had to raise

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<v Speaker 1>her mother at times. I mean, who's who's the parent

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<v Speaker 1>and who's the child in that relationship. I think it

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<v Speaker 1>switches back and forth. Right, So, Rory has a tremendous

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<v Speaker 1>amount of experience dealing with uh overwrought emotions coming from

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<v Speaker 1>a caregiver, you know, her mother. So here she's dealing

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<v Speaker 1>with a sixteen year old when she's been dealing with

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<v Speaker 1>you know, her mother her whole life, because you know,

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<v Speaker 1>you can only imagine the outbursts and the and the

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<v Speaker 1>insecurities and the conversations that don't get written about or

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<v Speaker 1>or appear on on the series if you're taking this

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<v Speaker 1>that seriously. But with in Paris's case, I think, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I think Rory sees her as somebody at this point

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<v Speaker 1>who she has dismissed on a certain level, as this

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<v Speaker 1>girl really isn't arrival. This girl is not my enemy.

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<v Speaker 1>This girl is going to provide me a chance to

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<v Speaker 1>show the same level of compassion uh and emotional maturity

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<v Speaker 1>that I've had too shown to get through certain periods

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<v Speaker 1>of my life with my mother, my own mother. So

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<v Speaker 1>I have experience ants in this field, um uh. And

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<v Speaker 1>and now she's to the point where, like this in

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<v Speaker 1>Paris is so toxic that I do need to create distance.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't. She realizes she can't be friends with her,

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<v Speaker 1>and and Paris is on a complete different track, like

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<v Speaker 1>still trying to ingratiate herself, still trying to have her friend,

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<v Speaker 1>because if she's rejected by Rory, I mean, that's that's

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<v Speaker 1>like being rejected by her mother or her father. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>It's it's the same level of of rejection and disappointment

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<v Speaker 1>and self loathing. And she doesn't want to experience that.

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<v Speaker 1>So she maybe she's just fighting so hard to keep

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<v Speaker 1>Rory in the fold, and she's doing it in her

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<v Speaker 1>in inevitable style, showing up at the door. Yeah, that's

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<v Speaker 1>it's a it's it's a yeah, really interesting in perspective

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<v Speaker 1>of that. I wonder too, Rory um, Rory, is that

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<v Speaker 1>really scared of her? Like she you know, she was

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<v Speaker 1>taken aback by her initially, and she stood up to

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<v Speaker 1>a couple of times, and you know, just like anybody

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<v Speaker 1>else that you're around, there's there, there's I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to say there's no, there's all bark and no bite.

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<v Speaker 1>She bites a little bit, but she hasn't been hard

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<v Speaker 1>enough yet that Roy has been injured by that, and

0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:18.520
<v Speaker 1>she's every time she's stood up for herself. It seems

0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:24.880
<v Speaker 1>to have worked um with Paris to a degree. Um,

0:14:25.040 --> 0:14:28.480
<v Speaker 1>I I can't completely let go that they kind of

0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:34.800
<v Speaker 1>like each other on some level, some level they get

0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:37.480
<v Speaker 1>each other. I think she you know, initially, no, I

0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:39.440
<v Speaker 1>don't think they like each other. Wasn't much there. But

0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:43.479
<v Speaker 1>there's some connection there that they're having. That's that's unspoken

0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:45.840
<v Speaker 1>and maybe neither one of them are that aware of

0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:48.720
<v Speaker 1>it yet. The competition part is is interesting for them.

0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:50.720
<v Speaker 1>They kind of I would imagine they kind of keep

0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:53.560
<v Speaker 1>each other in check. Um, And I think you're right

0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:58.280
<v Speaker 1>too about Paris doesn't think Roy's gonna win, But as

0:14:58.280 --> 0:15:00.600
<v Speaker 1>this season is showing, you're seeing her getting a little

0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:04.480
<v Speaker 1>bit more uncertain about You're saying that, But what was

0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:10.560
<v Speaker 1>your question? Uh? Maybe maybe, um, maybe Rory sees a

0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:17.640
<v Speaker 1>little bit of her mom in Paris. Interesting. I I

0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:19.600
<v Speaker 1>brought this up last time I talked to you guys,

0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:21.680
<v Speaker 1>and I don't I don't know how this lands with y'all.

0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:29.080
<v Speaker 1>Paris reminds me a lot of Emily. She reminds me

0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:34.040
<v Speaker 1>a lot of Emily. What about like on the the

0:15:34.360 --> 0:15:39.400
<v Speaker 1>Bracebridge dinner, Remember when Laurela was making the rounds and

0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:42.880
<v Speaker 1>she goes by, and her dad's you know, being unusually

0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:47.200
<v Speaker 1>gracious and appreciative of this dinner, and Emily goes, you

0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:51.760
<v Speaker 1>need to press your dress, and then go around checks

0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:55.920
<v Speaker 1>on Paris, and then Paris points out everything that's inaccurate

0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:59.640
<v Speaker 1>about the period. I was almost like, and Laurel, I

0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:05.480
<v Speaker 1>just okay. So so I wonder too if Emily is

0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:10.000
<v Speaker 1>not competing with Rory. So it's a different relationship. But

0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:13.440
<v Speaker 1>like what your your point is not just mom, but grandma.

0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:17.560
<v Speaker 1>These may not be scary people to her. Yeah, she

0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:24.800
<v Speaker 1>may be like been there, done that, yeaher versions than you. Yeah,

0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:27.400
<v Speaker 1>And she's able to communicate with if you notice, she's

0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:30.880
<v Speaker 1>kind of able to hone in some places with Paris

0:16:30.880 --> 0:16:33.440
<v Speaker 1>where she calms all of herself down and they can

0:16:33.480 --> 0:16:37.160
<v Speaker 1>have like a real quick human to human contact, and

0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:41.640
<v Speaker 1>then Paris gotta resumed wherever she's at. Um. Yeah, so

0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:45.840
<v Speaker 1>I I there's there's something there. There's I think there's

0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:49.720
<v Speaker 1>a lot there. Maybe maybe we're maybe we're both right.

0:16:55.200 --> 0:17:01.360
<v Speaker 1>What um in your experience when you have had patients

0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:06.040
<v Speaker 1>that are like Paris, what ultimately ends up happening to

0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:11.479
<v Speaker 1>them as they get older? Well, I haven't worked with

0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:15.040
<v Speaker 1>anyone quite like her. But I've worked with with driven

0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:17.840
<v Speaker 1>people and if you know, and you know in my world,

0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:20.960
<v Speaker 1>what what do you want to work on is what

0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:23.639
<v Speaker 1>they're coming in for. So I'm not gonna, you know,

0:17:23.680 --> 0:17:25.280
<v Speaker 1>tell people where they need to be, where they need

0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:29.040
<v Speaker 1>to go. Um. But when I see somebody like her

0:17:29.680 --> 0:17:32.720
<v Speaker 1>and we're able to really look inward and see what's

0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:35.960
<v Speaker 1>going on and see what's important about this behavior? Would

0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:37.840
<v Speaker 1>it be would it be nice if we could turn

0:17:38.000 --> 0:17:42.040
<v Speaker 1>this down and turn this up? Um? They're incredibly powerful people,

0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:48.560
<v Speaker 1>incredibly powerful people. If they don't do anything different than

0:17:48.560 --> 0:17:51.360
<v Speaker 1>I would see the trajectory of just complete total burnout

0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:54.960
<v Speaker 1>and disappointment and trying to find something else to chase.

0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:58.560
<v Speaker 1>And I mean your body when you're sixteen, We'll give

0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:02.120
<v Speaker 1>you energy to do this, but it'll it'll stop after

0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:04.480
<v Speaker 1>a while. It's kind of like your your your body

0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:07.199
<v Speaker 1>gets kind of smart about now we did that before

0:18:07.240 --> 0:18:10.879
<v Speaker 1>and I got nothing for that. I'm not doing that anymore. So. UM,

0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:14.119
<v Speaker 1>it's almost like an addiction, like addictive behavior. We always

0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:17.560
<v Speaker 1>see the person with the addiction. We get up all

0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:20.920
<v Speaker 1>hours in the morning and walk from wherever to wherever

0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:24.000
<v Speaker 1>to to seek something um and we're like, where did

0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:26.520
<v Speaker 1>that energy come from? But at some point it's not sustainable.

0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:29.359
<v Speaker 1>I would love to have that level of confidence that

0:18:29.480 --> 0:18:33.280
<v Speaker 1>she has. Well, that just comes from hard work, That

0:18:33.400 --> 0:18:38.119
<v Speaker 1>comes from just cheer, grit and studying and reading and

0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:40.600
<v Speaker 1>reading over and over and over. I mean, she just

0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:46.000
<v Speaker 1>nails everything. But she's not afraid. And maybe this is

0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:48.760
<v Speaker 1>something you can identify with two maybe on the the

0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:51.800
<v Speaker 1>both athlete and the actor parts of you. She's not

0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:53.760
<v Speaker 1>afraid of you to own or no, she didn't do

0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:58.000
<v Speaker 1>it anyway. I mean, that's that's an admirable thing, especially

0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:00.679
<v Speaker 1>for a lot of females though were not. I mean

0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:02.520
<v Speaker 1>I can't speak for a lot of people. I can

0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:05.160
<v Speaker 1>speak for myself. Not as comfortable with that, soho, that's

0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:08.199
<v Speaker 1>pretty admirable though to to you know, she's gonna do

0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:11.800
<v Speaker 1>it anyway. Now she can encroach upon your boundaries and

0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:14.080
<v Speaker 1>basically bust down the door, and that's gonna get her

0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:15.639
<v Speaker 1>in trouble and it's not going to make her a

0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:19.439
<v Speaker 1>very likable person to you. But if you could turn

0:19:19.640 --> 0:19:22.720
<v Speaker 1>some of that down and turn and turn up maybe

0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:25.560
<v Speaker 1>some of her sense of whose space am I in?

0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:32.720
<v Speaker 1>There's other people calling in my voice. But but if

0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:37.280
<v Speaker 1>we could calibrate some of these, she's an incredibly she's

0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:42.040
<v Speaker 1>an incredibly powerful person that would be unstoppable with anything, right,

0:19:42.240 --> 0:19:44.280
<v Speaker 1>I mean that's my opinion. What do you think? No,

0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:48.199
<v Speaker 1>no question, But she has displayed a very vulnerable side,

0:19:48.240 --> 0:19:51.840
<v Speaker 1>a very needy side, um as well. So it's one

0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:53.240
<v Speaker 1>of the you get one of the other and you

0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:56.560
<v Speaker 1>rarely get the vulnerable side, but it's there in absolute. Yeah,

0:19:56.840 --> 0:20:00.800
<v Speaker 1>that's not safe though, And who where do we normally

0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:03.399
<v Speaker 1>see the vulnerable side with her? When do you see it?

0:20:03.440 --> 0:20:05.560
<v Speaker 1>When have you seen that? When she's out of her element,

0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:09.320
<v Speaker 1>when she's surrounded by Rory's people that you know, the

0:20:09.440 --> 0:20:13.480
<v Speaker 1>Bracebridge Genner is a perfect example. Um. Again, family encroaches

0:20:13.480 --> 0:20:16.160
<v Speaker 1>in this episode where no, I can't celebrate with you

0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:18.280
<v Speaker 1>afterwards and do what you want to do that nutty

0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:22.000
<v Speaker 1>stuff go over everything after reminant family and we were

0:20:22.000 --> 0:20:26.719
<v Speaker 1>going to go back. Yeah, it was like, this is absurd, right,

0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:30.240
<v Speaker 1>she's not considering anybody else and like we have we

0:20:30.280 --> 0:20:32.600
<v Speaker 1>have these facts. She doesn't have family obligations, she's not

0:20:32.680 --> 0:20:36.240
<v Speaker 1>busy with family doesn't exist for her. Yeah, and not Yeah,

0:20:36.280 --> 0:20:39.720
<v Speaker 1>that's not safe for her. Interesting, just fascinating, fascinating. And

0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:42.440
<v Speaker 1>then and it's interesting where you know she I mean,

0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:44.520
<v Speaker 1>it's the show We're set and stars hollow, so it's

0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:47.920
<v Speaker 1>kind of obvious, but but it's interesting where she feels

0:20:47.960 --> 0:20:50.320
<v Speaker 1>safe for the same places that Laura life feels safe

0:20:50.320 --> 0:20:52.879
<v Speaker 1>in the same places that Rory was brought up and

0:20:52.960 --> 0:20:58.080
<v Speaker 1>has this inherent sense of safety right in this in

0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:01.399
<v Speaker 1>this quirky little town with these people that just like you,

0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:05.760
<v Speaker 1>just like you for you, celebrate with you. Yeah, but

0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:12.400
<v Speaker 1>in Terris is um in in her just being. It's

0:21:12.400 --> 0:21:15.800
<v Speaker 1>funny because she, you know, like Rory may ask her

0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:17.760
<v Speaker 1>a question, it's just a question, why do you want

0:21:17.760 --> 0:21:21.200
<v Speaker 1>to know that? Yeah, It's like before I answer, wait

0:21:21.240 --> 0:21:23.360
<v Speaker 1>a minute, what is this for? So she you know she,

0:21:23.520 --> 0:21:27.040
<v Speaker 1>I think Paris can't perceive that you don't have an agenda.

0:21:27.280 --> 0:21:31.000
<v Speaker 1>I have an agenda. Trust issues, but I have an agenda.

0:21:31.119 --> 0:21:34.280
<v Speaker 1>You all have an agenda. Which is a very young

0:21:34.359 --> 0:21:39.119
<v Speaker 1>way of thinking too, kind of how kids think, not

0:21:39.280 --> 0:21:41.159
<v Speaker 1>just not I don't know I'm talking about teenagers, but

0:21:41.160 --> 0:21:43.760
<v Speaker 1>it's it's a very very young way. I think this way.

0:21:44.000 --> 0:21:46.440
<v Speaker 1>I like chocolate ice cream. Why don't you like chocolate

0:21:46.440 --> 0:21:51.439
<v Speaker 1>ice doesn't make any sense to me. And so Paris,

0:21:51.480 --> 0:21:54.200
<v Speaker 1>you'll see that that almost that little girl park come

0:21:54.200 --> 0:21:59.000
<v Speaker 1>out to lots of ages. But yeah, yeah, that's a

0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:02.560
<v Speaker 1>that's a case of a rested emotional development. For sure,

0:22:02.560 --> 0:22:05.600
<v Speaker 1>her brain is developing, but her her emotional like you,

0:22:05.800 --> 0:22:09.159
<v Speaker 1>is very low. It's very very very young, and it

0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:12.439
<v Speaker 1>doesn't have and and again it's hard to grow. And

0:22:12.440 --> 0:22:14.600
<v Speaker 1>I think we talked about this before when we were

0:22:14.600 --> 0:22:19.520
<v Speaker 1>talking about Lorala. It's hard to grow when there's not safety.

0:22:19.840 --> 0:22:22.760
<v Speaker 1>You know, I don't in Paris, doesn't play. You don't

0:22:22.760 --> 0:22:26.680
<v Speaker 1>play when there's not safety. You don't really get curious.

0:22:26.840 --> 0:22:29.600
<v Speaker 1>You know. We'd say she's brilliant and she studies, but

0:22:29.640 --> 0:22:35.640
<v Speaker 1>that's not really curiosity. That's that's learned this No, this

0:22:36.800 --> 0:22:41.359
<v Speaker 1>recite this that that's not curious learning learning for the

0:22:41.400 --> 0:22:46.000
<v Speaker 1>wrong reasons. It's it's important, but it's not. It's not

0:22:46.080 --> 0:22:49.080
<v Speaker 1>all there is though, But it's not safe for her. Again,

0:22:49.119 --> 0:22:51.800
<v Speaker 1>it's not safe for her um to do this. And

0:22:51.840 --> 0:22:56.680
<v Speaker 1>it's not even on the radar. She is like this,

0:22:56.680 --> 0:23:03.560
<v Speaker 1>this laser pointed armored car, very sensitized alarm system with

0:23:03.800 --> 0:23:06.879
<v Speaker 1>every type of defense on it, that just plows through

0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:10.959
<v Speaker 1>on a fast track, the fastest track possible to Harvard. Right,

0:23:11.040 --> 0:23:13.280
<v Speaker 1>whatever Harvard says, I'm going to do and I'm going

0:23:13.320 --> 0:23:17.800
<v Speaker 1>to be a manufactured person. Yes, and then and then

0:23:17.840 --> 0:23:20.800
<v Speaker 1>we like we like you were asking, you know what,

0:23:20.800 --> 0:23:23.280
<v Speaker 1>what what's inside of her head? I don't know if

0:23:23.280 --> 0:23:28.080
<v Speaker 1>she's ever thought about what happens the day after, what

0:23:28.160 --> 0:23:30.600
<v Speaker 1>happens to the next day, right, right, doesn't think about

0:23:30.600 --> 0:23:34.960
<v Speaker 1>the consequences, doesn't think long term. There's no long term thinking. Interesting, Kim,

0:23:35.160 --> 0:23:39.560
<v Speaker 1>we have to break it off. The session. Um fascinating.

0:23:39.600 --> 0:23:41.800
<v Speaker 1>It's always fascinating to talk to you. I could talk

0:23:41.800 --> 0:23:47.040
<v Speaker 1>to you for hours and hours and hours, my god. Um,

0:23:47.080 --> 0:23:51.160
<v Speaker 1>any we thank you for coming on. Thank you. It's

0:23:51.160 --> 0:23:54.200
<v Speaker 1>always it's always the most interesting part of this. And uh,

0:23:54.400 --> 0:23:57.480
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to have you back again. And all the

0:23:57.520 --> 0:23:59.400
<v Speaker 1>best to you. We'll see you next time. Okay, thank

0:23:59.400 --> 0:24:02.080
<v Speaker 1>you so much. Right, a lot of fun. Thank you

0:24:02.160 --> 0:24:34.320
<v Speaker 1>so much. Hey, everybody, and don't forget follow us on

0:24:34.359 --> 0:24:38.679
<v Speaker 1>Instagram at I Am all In podcast and email us

0:24:38.840 --> 0:24:43.000
<v Speaker 1>at Gilmore at I heart radio dot com. Oh you,

0:24:43.119 --> 0:24:44.800
<v Speaker 1>gil More fans. If you're looking for the best cup

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