WEBVTT - Get close to get close

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to get close to get close. When you

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<v Speaker 1>spend time in the same place as other people, you

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<v Speaker 1>are more likely to feel emotionally close to them too.

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<v Speaker 1>So you have probably wondered why it was easier to

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<v Speaker 1>make friends in childhood than it often is in adulthood.

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<v Speaker 1>The simple explanation is that kids tend to cross paths

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<v Speaker 1>again and again with the same people, people who are,

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<v Speaker 1>of course potential friends. You and Bobby take the same

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<v Speaker 1>bus to and from school every day, and ride bikes

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<v Speaker 1>in the same cul de sac every weekend. You and

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<v Speaker 1>Jake go from the same classroom, to the same table

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<v Speaker 1>in the cafeteria, to the same swing set on the

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<v Speaker 1>playground every day Monday through Friday. Chances are you are

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<v Speaker 1>going to become friends. But as adults, our lives aren't

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<v Speaker 1>structured with quite so much social repetition. Sure, you may

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<v Speaker 1>have neighbors and colleagues, and you may know the parents

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<v Speaker 1>of the other kids in your kids class and on

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<v Speaker 1>his soccer team, but you may not interact with any

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<v Speaker 1>of those people enough that a friendship is likely to occur.

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<v Speaker 1>Forming a friendship takes more than just a wave and

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<v Speaker 1>a smile as you power walk past each other on

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<v Speaker 1>to the next thing. The New York Times Happiness Challenge

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<v Speaker 1>introduced me to the term propinquity or nearness. When you

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<v Speaker 1>are near a person and interact with them repeatedly, you

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<v Speaker 1>are more likely to become friends. Kids have more opportunity

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<v Speaker 1>for making friends because of their propinquity with so many

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<v Speaker 1>other kids, but adults can intentionally build nearness into their

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<v Speaker 1>lives to foster friendships too. So how do we do that.

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<v Speaker 1>One great option is to join a group, join the PTA,

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<v Speaker 1>or maybe you like to cook, take a cooking class

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<v Speaker 1>at a nearby community center, or volunteer for a weekly

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<v Speaker 1>shift preparing meals at a soup kitchen. If sports are

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<v Speaker 1>more your thing, you might join a kickball team or

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<v Speaker 1>play regular pickup basketball join a pickleball league. Inviting a

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<v Speaker 1>teammate out to toast her winning hit after your softball

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<v Speaker 1>game is a natural way to start to deepen your relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>Consider what your interests are and find a regular opportunity

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<v Speaker 1>to pursue that interest with the same people in the

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<v Speaker 1>same place. Friendship expert Shasta Nelson emphasizes the importance of

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<v Speaker 1>consistency building friendships. When you keep showing up again and again,

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<v Speaker 1>friendships almost naturally start to form. If you feel hesitant

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<v Speaker 1>to add one more commitment to your schedule, or if

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<v Speaker 1>you're not a joiner, or if big groups aren't your thing,

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<v Speaker 1>another option is to just keep showing up at the

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<v Speaker 1>same place. Become a regular at a neighborhood coffee shop

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<v Speaker 1>or restaurant or bar. Go to the library at roughly

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<v Speaker 1>the same time every week, and when you start to

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<v Speaker 1>notice people you have seen there before, make small talk

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<v Speaker 1>if they seem open to it. If you go to

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<v Speaker 1>worship services, sit at the same place every time and

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<v Speaker 1>don't dash out the door as soon as the service

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<v Speaker 1>is over. Give people a chance to say hello. While

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<v Speaker 1>you are waiting for your daughter's gymnastics class to end,

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<v Speaker 1>sit in the lobby instead of an in your car.

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<v Speaker 1>Eat your lunch in the staff break room, not at

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<v Speaker 1>your desk. Even if you are able to work remotely

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<v Speaker 1>all the time, consider working in your office on occasion.

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<v Speaker 1>If you want to develop deeper relationships, which can boost

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<v Speaker 1>your happiness and life satisfaction, consider joining a group of

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<v Speaker 1>people with a shared interest, or just keep showing up

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<v Speaker 1>at places where you cross paths with potential friends. When

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<v Speaker 1>we spend time near other people, it is natural to

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<v Speaker 1>start becoming emotionally close to them as well. In the meantime,

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<v Speaker 1>this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making

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<v Speaker 1>the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to

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<v Speaker 1>hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

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<v Speaker 1>or any something else. Just connect with me on Twitter,

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<v Speaker 1>Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's b E

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<v Speaker 1>the number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can

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<v Speaker 1>also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcasts at

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<v Speaker 1>iHeartMedia dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with

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<v Speaker 1>all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I look forward

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<v Speaker 1>to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio.

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<v Speaker 1>For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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