Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is to get close to get close. When you
Speaker 1: spend time in the same place as other people, you
Speaker 1: are more likely to feel emotionally close to them too.
Speaker 1: So you have probably wondered why it was easier to
Speaker 1: make friends in childhood than it often is in adulthood.
Speaker 1: The simple explanation is that kids tend to cross paths
Speaker 1: again and again with the same people, people who are,
Speaker 1: of course potential friends. You and Bobby take the same
Speaker 1: bus to and from school every day, and ride bikes
Speaker 1: in the same cul de sac every weekend. You and
Speaker 1: Jake go from the same classroom, to the same table
Speaker 1: in the cafeteria, to the same swing set on the
Speaker 1: playground every day Monday through Friday. Chances are you are
Speaker 1: going to become friends. But as adults, our lives aren't
Speaker 1: structured with quite so much social repetition. Sure, you may
Speaker 1: have neighbors and colleagues, and you may know the parents
Speaker 1: of the other kids in your kids class and on
Speaker 1: his soccer team, but you may not interact with any
Speaker 1: of those people enough that a friendship is likely to occur.
Speaker 1: Forming a friendship takes more than just a wave and
Speaker 1: a smile as you power walk past each other on
Speaker 1: to the next thing. The New York Times Happiness Challenge
Speaker 1: introduced me to the term propinquity or nearness. When you
Speaker 1: are near a person and interact with them repeatedly, you
Speaker 1: are more likely to become friends. Kids have more opportunity
Speaker 1: for making friends because of their propinquity with so many
Speaker 1: other kids, but adults can intentionally build nearness into their
Speaker 1: lives to foster friendships too. So how do we do that.
Speaker 1: One great option is to join a group, join the PTA,
Speaker 1: or maybe you like to cook, take a cooking class
Speaker 1: at a nearby community center, or volunteer for a weekly
Speaker 1: shift preparing meals at a soup kitchen. If sports are
Speaker 1: more your thing, you might join a kickball team or
Speaker 1: play regular pickup basketball join a pickleball league. Inviting a
Speaker 1: teammate out to toast her winning hit after your softball
Speaker 1: game is a natural way to start to deepen your relationship.
Speaker 1: Consider what your interests are and find a regular opportunity
Speaker 1: to pursue that interest with the same people in the
Speaker 1: same place. Friendship expert Shasta Nelson emphasizes the importance of
Speaker 1: consistency building friendships. When you keep showing up again and again,
Speaker 1: friendships almost naturally start to form. If you feel hesitant
Speaker 1: to add one more commitment to your schedule, or if
Speaker 1: you're not a joiner, or if big groups aren't your thing,
Speaker 1: another option is to just keep showing up at the
Speaker 1: same place. Become a regular at a neighborhood coffee shop
Speaker 1: or restaurant or bar. Go to the library at roughly
Speaker 1: the same time every week, and when you start to
Speaker 1: notice people you have seen there before, make small talk
Speaker 1: if they seem open to it. If you go to
Speaker 1: worship services, sit at the same place every time and
Speaker 1: don't dash out the door as soon as the service
Speaker 1: is over. Give people a chance to say hello. While
Speaker 1: you are waiting for your daughter's gymnastics class to end,
Speaker 1: sit in the lobby instead of an in your car.
Speaker 1: Eat your lunch in the staff break room, not at
Speaker 1: your desk. Even if you are able to work remotely
Speaker 1: all the time, consider working in your office on occasion.
Speaker 1: If you want to develop deeper relationships, which can boost
Speaker 1: your happiness and life satisfaction, consider joining a group of
Speaker 1: people with a shared interest, or just keep showing up
Speaker 1: at places where you cross paths with potential friends. When
Speaker 1: we spend time near other people, it is natural to
Speaker 1: start becoming emotionally close to them as well. In the meantime,
Speaker 1: this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making
Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to
Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
Speaker 1: or any something else. Just connect with me on Twitter,
Speaker 1: Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's b E
Speaker 1: the number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can
Speaker 1: also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcasts at
Speaker 1: iHeartMedia dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with
Speaker 1: all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I look forward
Speaker 1: to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.