1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,480 Speaker 1: My mother in law wants to stop my marriage. Should 2 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:05,040 Speaker 1: I go no contact with her? This is OKOP where 3 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: we read the craziest true stories on Earth. 4 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 2: I am John and Sam. Should Op go no contact 5 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:10,879 Speaker 2: with the mother in law? 6 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 3: If you're trying to stop love, listen, I'm gonna stop 7 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 3: loving you. 8 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:16,799 Speaker 2: That's right. Tit for tat, tit for tat. 9 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:21,080 Speaker 3: I mean I think Ope should probably distance himself or 10 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 3: herself from the mother at least temporarily over. 11 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Just wait for the divorce then you can 12 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:28,920 Speaker 2: become best friends. 13 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 3: I mean I was saying, like the wedding ceremony, right, Also, 14 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:35,280 Speaker 3: wait for the divorce so that you can be friend 15 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:36,159 Speaker 3: of your mother's ride it. 16 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 2: All the way right. 17 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 1: Well, there's only one way to find out what happens 18 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:43,680 Speaker 1: spell that day. So this one comes from mother in 19 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:47,639 Speaker 1: law issues. Very apt, very apt. They say, let's get 20 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:51,199 Speaker 1: down to business. I've been with my fiance Adam for 21 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: five years and we've been engaged for seven months. We 22 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: have a beautiful home together, and we both work really 23 00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: hard at our relationship. Flex quite a flex. The issue 24 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: isn't with Adam. He does his very best to try 25 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 1: to mitigate the situation with his mom, but ain't good enough. 26 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 2: Nope, but it's. 27 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 1: Wearing on him, and I worry that one day he'll 28 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,760 Speaker 1: have to choose. I don't want him to have to 29 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:14,959 Speaker 1: do that. That would hurt him too much to choose 30 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: between me and his family. There are a lot of situations, 31 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:21,200 Speaker 1: but I thought I would highlight the worst slash most 32 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 1: recent we got, like a worst of recap. That's right, 33 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: let's go, coming in at number one. Around three years ago, 34 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: one month after we purchased our house. His mom really 35 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 1: needed windows in her house. Okay, mold was growing a 36 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 1: lot and some no longer had seals. 37 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 2: Oh. 38 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 1: Now, his mom actually has a sizeable savings account, enough 39 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 1: that she could spend her money frivolously on luxury goods 40 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: like Burken bags those are like forty k bags six 41 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: figures in some cases, and getting her hair done two 42 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 1: times a week, her nails, buying a new Mercedes every 43 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 1: two years, and so on. However, she never budgets for anything, 44 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 1: so she asked him for twenty five thousand dollars to 45 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: replace the windows. 46 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 2: He said he would cover them. 47 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 3: How about that burken bag money sell a pert seriously 48 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,800 Speaker 3: play a windows on emay when he told me. 49 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,639 Speaker 1: I almost had a heart attack. He said it was 50 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 1: alone and that she would pay him back, pay him 51 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 1: back right now. Yeah, by not taking money and spending her. 52 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 2: Own you have a ton. Maybe don't get a hairdo 53 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 2: once that week. 54 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 1: I still have law school debt to cover and we 55 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:36,080 Speaker 1: have a larger than we should have mortgage. She made 56 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: a comment to him about how I would let her 57 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 1: freeze to death all winter, and he had to help her. Ah, 58 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 1: you have money, though we took out extra on the 59 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:51,679 Speaker 1: mortgage on our mortgage to cover her windows. 60 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 2: Top of the line. Everything let her ask freeze right Seriously, 61 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 2: we still have yet to see a dime. 62 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,640 Speaker 1: I suppose it went into her new gl class of 63 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:07,960 Speaker 1: new Mercedes. Benz to quote the Bard, neither a borrower 64 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 1: nor a lender. 65 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 2: B I am allergic to this mother. Same on to 66 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:13,919 Speaker 2: number two. 67 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: Adam and I had a vacation planned the year after 68 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 1: the windows dilemma happened. We decided that we would go 69 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 1: to Europe for two weeks, as he has never been 70 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 1: and I lived there from the time I was three 71 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,399 Speaker 1: until I came to America for school. We had set 72 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,480 Speaker 1: our hearts down Spain and rented a lovely apartment in 73 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: Barcelona for two weeks. Sounds fantastic. She is great, right, 74 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 1: It was perfect for the two of us. We planned 75 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 1: all of our tours and outings around our interests. Adam 76 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: loves architecture, so we had a few tours solely planned 77 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,480 Speaker 1: for that. Now, Now do you see what's about to happen? 78 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: Do you see the ICU in the comments? 79 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 2: I honestly don't see it. 80 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 1: His mother decided she she had, Oh. 81 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 2: Next thing, you know, she's gonna be. 82 00:03:55,280 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 1: Like, oh, I'm actually cold traveling too. No, no, no, 83 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 1: even better, can you give me twenty five thousand to 84 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: get new windows in my hotel? 85 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 2: God? And also, I want to snuggle. I want to 86 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 2: be the meet in the middle. Never mind, I'm just 87 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 2: godding with you. Thanks. Oh, and cuddles with my son alone. 88 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 2: That's right. I brought him into this world and I'm 89 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 2: gonna cuddle him out. 90 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 1: She had never been to Europe either, so she invited 91 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 1: herself on ours like I did previously. I tried to 92 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 1: appeal to his rational side, but I couldn't get through 93 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:35,919 Speaker 1: his emotional side. So I just accepted that she'd be 94 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 1: coming along. Oh my god, Well, coach was not good 95 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 1: enough for her, and she had to have tickets upgraded 96 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,159 Speaker 1: to business class. 97 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 2: They don't have the money, give it to Just give 98 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:49,599 Speaker 2: it to me. Just give me the money. 99 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: But she didn't want to travel alone, so she pitched 100 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 1: in for a seat for Adam to travel with her. 101 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 2: Adam her son. Oh, I had to remain in coach. 102 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 2: There it is there, it is. 103 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: Then she didn't want to stay at the apartment because 104 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 1: it wasn't a vacation to her. No, she had to 105 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 1: stay at the W in Barcelona, and. 106 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 3: The W hotel is very expensive. They went to Beverly 107 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:19,040 Speaker 3: Hills and Hollywood or sorry, no, the W is in Hollywood. 108 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 2: It hg dang dude, where get ready for this? She 109 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 2: begged Adam to stay with her, but there was I 110 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 2: was jokidding. She walked out of to sleep with her, 111 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 2: but there wasn't any room for me, no room. 112 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,920 Speaker 1: He tried to reason with her, but she cried and 113 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 1: said how sad she was without her husband, as he 114 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 1: had passed away. 115 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 3: Before they could ever get to Europe together. Bro, that 116 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 3: is cringe. That is cringe. My husband died, so can 117 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 3: you be his replacement? S God's son son husband, he 118 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,159 Speaker 3: passed away ten. 119 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: Years ago, so I stayed at the apartment alone while 120 00:05:58,560 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 1: they stayed at the hotel. 121 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 3: Her husband was literally dying to get away put an ouch. 122 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: We were supposed to meet up for breakfast, but she 123 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,359 Speaker 1: would never get ready on time, so they wouldn't be 124 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 1: down until eleven am, and we missed most of our outings. 125 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:18,040 Speaker 1: I definitely felt like a third wheel. That is, I'm 126 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 1: good dig so hard right now and questioned why I 127 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,039 Speaker 1: even bothered to go on the vacation when I could 128 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 1: have stayed at home and not felt so alone. And 129 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 1: I have to before we get into number three, Sam, 130 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:30,159 Speaker 1: what are we doing? 131 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 2: Oh my god? 132 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,039 Speaker 3: Like talk to this boy taken to the max, like, hey, 133 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 3: there is a healthy love for your mom. I have 134 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 3: a healthy love for my mom. Most boys and men 135 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 3: love for the mom. Riley was talking to his mom 136 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 3: this morning. Seemed lovely. But as soon as you're sleeping 137 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,359 Speaker 3: with your mom over your wife, I think that is 138 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 3: a major red flag. 139 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think like OPI in the beginning of the 140 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,040 Speaker 1: story was like, oh, we have a great relationship. He 141 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:57,040 Speaker 1: isn't the problem. However, he is enabling her. He's rolling 142 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 1: over like he's rolling over bastard. 143 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:00,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, how could you. 144 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,359 Speaker 1: How could you let your own mom like ruin this 145 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:06,040 Speaker 1: vacation with you and your wife, and and and. 146 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,280 Speaker 3: I think he wants it. I think he wants it. 147 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 3: I think he's blaming things on his mom. I think 148 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 3: he actually wants it. 149 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think his mom is still crazy. But like he, 150 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 1: he likes enabling. 151 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:19,040 Speaker 2: Giving in freaking thinks that this man's Oedipus. Wow, dude, 152 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 2: oh man, big old eddie piss and pieced. 153 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 1: Oh goodness, gracious god, someone asked for John's oh Gods 154 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 1: to be compiled. 155 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh god. 156 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 1: So on to number three, Adam and I began to 157 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 1: discuss wedding plans. I would like to keep it relatively 158 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 1: low key, as my family still lives in Europe and 159 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 1: cannot attend, as my father is very sick and we 160 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 1: are worried that he may take a turn for the worst. 161 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,520 Speaker 1: Traveling is just not worth it for him, and I 162 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,160 Speaker 1: wouldn't want to risk his health for something that is 163 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 1: a one day event. I told Adam that I would 164 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 1: just like a courtroom ceremony with his mother and sister, 165 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 1: of course, and friends. We'd then take everyone out to 166 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: a very fancy dinner. 167 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 2: His mother did not. I repeat, did not take kindly 168 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 2: to this. Why is she involved? She said that if 169 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 2: her son was going to get married, it would. 170 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 1: Have to be a grand affair for everyone to see. 171 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 3: She's a little too involved, way too involved, way too involved. 172 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,480 Speaker 3: Like I bet you she'll like come over to his 173 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 3: house or something and literally rearrange everything in his kitchen. 174 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't know anyone who would do that. We 175 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 1: don't know anyone who would do that. Put things out 176 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 1: of Why did you. 177 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 2: Say that Riley's bagels were dude? 178 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 4: She really did, though. It was a little hurt. 179 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 1: Wait, so okay, of course, and the bagel. I just 180 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 1: keep looking at my side of the seating chart and 181 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,960 Speaker 1: the pitiful number of guests. I just want to cry. 182 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,959 Speaker 1: She has been planning the wedding. I told Adam I did. 183 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 1: I didn't want this. I expressly told. 184 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 2: Him that I just wanted a small, really really really 185 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 2: small events. 186 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 1: Hey, babe, you are important, But you know who's more 187 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 1: important than the planning of this wedding My mom my mom? Yeah, bro, 188 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 1: stop fog no go. She won't even hear him. She 189 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 1: just refers to me as her and she and says, 190 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,240 Speaker 1: how I think that I'm too good for a large 191 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:27,559 Speaker 1: wedding that my family is too good for America question. 192 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 2: Mark, you think it too good for the US of 193 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:29,680 Speaker 2: a vague. 194 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 1: My family is American and my dad is Slash was 195 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 1: an ambassador for America. 196 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 2: Damn, I mean. 197 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: Get more, literally more American than the ambassador number four. 198 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,960 Speaker 1: This has been happening a lot recently, and this time 199 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:47,840 Speaker 1: it's been one too many times. Lately, she's been asking 200 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 1: for more together family time. She lives quite close, but 201 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:53,839 Speaker 1: we don't see her all that often as she has 202 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: friends and events that keep her busy. Not too busy 203 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,719 Speaker 1: to plan the wedding, though. She has requested that we 204 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,200 Speaker 1: Adam and I have a dinner with her three times 205 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:03,679 Speaker 1: a week. 206 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:05,240 Speaker 2: That is crazy. 207 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: Well, what has been happening is that she has been 208 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 1: reserving a spot at the restaurant for six pm. 209 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,560 Speaker 2: I don't get home till six thirty. Much she's trying 210 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 2: to exclude is white. She has just been encouraging adding 211 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 2: to eat out. 212 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,719 Speaker 1: I said that very explicitly with her, as I am 213 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,840 Speaker 1: thoughtless to come home at a decent hour to eat 214 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,600 Speaker 1: with her and her son. How lonely that must be 215 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,440 Speaker 1: for him. It honestly doesn't bother me that he goes 216 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,960 Speaker 1: out to eat with her that often. But the thing 217 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 1: she says behind my back good, right right? The thing 218 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:42,560 Speaker 1: she says behind my back, well, I came home early tonight. 219 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,600 Speaker 1: I left work and was on the road by four 220 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:48,320 Speaker 1: thirty pm, home by five. I surprised Adam as he 221 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 1: was just coming in the door when I yanked the 222 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:51,640 Speaker 1: door open to greet him. 223 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:52,839 Speaker 2: Happily, he was so. 224 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: Excited to see me I could come to dinner with 225 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,840 Speaker 1: him and his mom. I told him I just needed 226 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: to shower real quick and get dressed. Oh God, put 227 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 1: in I see you in the chat. If you know 228 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 1: what's coming, we tragically know what's about to happen. He 229 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 1: called his mom right away and told her that I 230 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 1: would be able to make it. He also made a 231 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 1: comment stating that he hoped there was a reservation for 232 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:16,080 Speaker 1: three tonight. She said there was, but she thought that 233 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:19,840 Speaker 1: they'd eat earlier, like five point thirty, and was already 234 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,200 Speaker 1: on the way to the house. Now she got there 235 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: at five fifteen, She stated she couldn't wait another second 236 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 1: and had to eat right then and there. 237 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 2: Oh. 238 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,080 Speaker 1: Adam said I'd be ready in another fifteen minutes and 239 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,440 Speaker 1: offered to call the restaurant and request that they move 240 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 1: us back. She wouldn't hear it. She just whined about 241 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:40,559 Speaker 1: being hungry, and how about a poor old woman should 242 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,959 Speaker 1: be expected to wait so his fiance could fulfill her 243 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 1: vein requirements. 244 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 2: Look at it. 245 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,560 Speaker 1: He came upstairs and asked how long I'd be I 246 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,560 Speaker 1: said just another ten minutes. He said his mom was 247 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 1: really upset and hungry. If I could skip a step 248 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,440 Speaker 1: for him so we could leave earlier, I. 249 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 2: Told him go ahead without me. I would just meet 250 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,680 Speaker 2: him there. That was fine. I got there and the 251 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,720 Speaker 2: table was for two red flag. 252 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:14,160 Speaker 1: Of course, Adam said we could make room, but she 253 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 1: said how we'd be inconveniencing everyone, and then I should 254 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: just go sit at the bar and she'd try to 255 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:21,800 Speaker 1: get it fixed. 256 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:22,760 Speaker 2: Red flag? 257 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:26,199 Speaker 1: How hard can Sam wave this flag? Ladies and gentlemen. 258 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,640 Speaker 1: I had one drinck at the bar, and then I left, 259 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:32,320 Speaker 1: came home, calmed down a bit, and now I'm writing this. 260 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 2: So that's the four out of the four. There there's 261 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 2: more to this story. Oh my good? But can we 262 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:41,840 Speaker 2: break down? Wait? 263 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,679 Speaker 1: Should she just leave Adam? Should you just leave the relationship? 264 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 1: I mean, question mark? I think I'm generally not for ultimatums, right, but. 265 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,600 Speaker 2: I think in this case, have we finally found the one. 266 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 3: I think you have to say, hey, you have to 267 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 3: start choosing me over your mom. Yes. 268 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 1: Sometimes yeah, like it's just going too far. 269 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,120 Speaker 2: This is going too far. 270 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 3: I think, ohp has been put extremely all the way 271 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,239 Speaker 3: in the back seat and the mom is just completely 272 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 3: taking over. She needs to say, she needs to point 273 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 3: out that this is not okay, which is not and 274 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,440 Speaker 3: he needs to spend time with her. I think she 275 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 3: has to put her foot down a little bit, but 276 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:24,679 Speaker 3: I don't know he'll change. 277 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:25,240 Speaker 4: Yeah. 278 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,000 Speaker 2: In deep and mom boy. 279 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:30,240 Speaker 1: Territory so so so deep, and it's crazy how not 280 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,560 Speaker 1: only he doesn't see it, but it seems like she 281 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 1: kind of doesn't either. 282 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 2: I feel like she's overlooking a lot. 283 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, she's like there's a massive amount of blame that 284 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 1: belongs on Adam's shoulders, point blank period. 285 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 2: Oh for sure. 286 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:49,880 Speaker 3: I mean, yes, the mom is crazy, but he's enabling 287 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:52,520 Speaker 3: the crazy so much. So like you like you can 288 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,560 Speaker 3: you would listen to your mom, but you can just say. 289 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,720 Speaker 1: No, no, especially like it's one thing where it's like hey, like, oh, 290 00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,959 Speaker 1: let's have dinner tonight, whatever, blah blah. But when she's 291 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 1: it's like, take me on your trip with your you know, 292 00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 1: partner and Europe with me instead of your life, that 293 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:13,080 Speaker 1: is so beyond us of the line give me twenty 294 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,360 Speaker 1: five thousand, when she easily could afford herself. I think, yeah, 295 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,400 Speaker 1: op put your foot down if you want to save 296 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,320 Speaker 1: this relationship. But there's a very good chance it may 297 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,160 Speaker 1: be beyond saving. 298 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 2: It really might be. Tell me, this isn't the end 299 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:25,720 Speaker 2: of the story. 300 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:29,480 Speaker 1: Oh it is not. Is there a juicy update? There's 301 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:33,000 Speaker 1: more to go, my friend, let's go. So we just 302 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 1: went through the big four, right, Yeah, she's been writing 303 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,840 Speaker 1: this for probably like an hour. But now we're getting 304 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 1: to how Opie really thinks about it all. Okay, we're 305 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 1: going from facts to feelings. Wow, that was long, Yes, 306 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 1: it was. I think I needed to just get that 307 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:52,120 Speaker 1: out there. I guess therapy, online therapy, right, therapy. I 308 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 1: guess I figured everything out though, sorry to bother you 309 00:14:55,200 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: in our slash relationships. Unfortunately my relationship is over with Adam. 310 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:05,800 Speaker 3: What did she like realize in writing this that I'm 311 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,040 Speaker 3: not going to take this anymore? 312 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 1: I think, so this, Yeah, this feels like she went 313 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: back and maybe edited the original post. 314 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 2: That's what this feels like right here. 315 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 1: Wasn't explicitly stated that it was that, but that's what 316 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 1: it's looking like. I realized this as I poured my 317 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 1: heart out on this sub Thank you so do. 318 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 2: Sometimes that's what you need. 319 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,920 Speaker 3: I feel like these like people submitting this stuff to 320 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:28,920 Speaker 3: these reddit communities and online just saying it makes it 321 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 3: real and you start to have like a little bit 322 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:34,520 Speaker 3: of perspective because you're not so enthralled and like taken 323 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,680 Speaker 3: by it, you're you're able to look at it with 324 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 3: a little bit more objectivity. And I think like she's like, 325 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 3: oh shit, I didn't even realize how much I'm putting 326 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 3: up with, but now it's all on paper, Like damn totally. 327 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,880 Speaker 1: I would venture to bet that probably like ninety percent 328 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,320 Speaker 1: of people, this is their first time like getting it 329 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:53,000 Speaker 1: out and not just like it stewing in random spots 330 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 1: in their heads. Yeah, and like you said, getting it 331 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 1: all out, not just thinking it all through, but thinking 332 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,000 Speaker 1: it through enough to hype it and lay it all 333 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,640 Speaker 1: out and then be able to see it back. 334 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,280 Speaker 3: But it's one thing to say you know it's over. 335 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 3: It's another thing to actually end it. 336 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 2: So that's a great point. Is op actually going to 337 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,080 Speaker 2: end it? There is an update? 338 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 1: So after I posted a comment on my own thread 339 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,520 Speaker 1: and about two glasses deep into a bottle of wine, 340 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:23,480 Speaker 1: Adam came home. Oh this was extremely late. He sat 341 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,560 Speaker 1: down beside me and looked defeated. He just looked at 342 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 1: me with hopeless eyes. I asked him if you wanted 343 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: to talk about it. He said he needed time to 344 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 1: process everything that happened tonight. I also told him that 345 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,280 Speaker 1: I needed time. 346 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 3: He said, process everything, Like wait, did she tell him? 347 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 3: Or is this or do we not know what happened yet? 348 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 4: I think it was like the bar night, Like what? 349 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 2: Oh? What happened? Okay? 350 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:48,280 Speaker 1: He said to me that whenever I wanted to do 351 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 1: he would accept it. So I called it my maid 352 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 1: of honor and asked if she would come pick me 353 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,880 Speaker 1: up and if I could stay at her house for 354 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 1: the night. 355 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 2: Adam and I kissed. He told me that he loved me, 356 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,040 Speaker 2: and I left. But I love my mom more. 357 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:05,840 Speaker 1: Sh man my mom because it is me better. I 358 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:09,120 Speaker 1: haven't been back from Colleen's house. I made a call 359 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 1: the next morning to my office asking for a few 360 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,320 Speaker 1: more days off to go visit family. So right now, 361 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,400 Speaker 1: I am writing to you from my parents' house in Europe. 362 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,040 Speaker 1: I called Adam and told him my plans, and he 363 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,639 Speaker 1: asked me if I would let him drive me. I 364 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,040 Speaker 1: told him I was okay to go myself with my 365 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:27,760 Speaker 1: maid of honor, Colleen, and that I would email him 366 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,760 Speaker 1: when I got to my family's home. When I got 367 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,360 Speaker 1: settled at home, I emailed Adam and I sent him 368 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 1: the thread that I had made that Tuesday night. Oh, 369 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 1: the reddit thread. 370 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 2: The reddit thread. Wow. I wonder how he's going to respond. 371 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,360 Speaker 1: A large majority of you wanted him to read it, 372 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:48,160 Speaker 1: so he has read all all of your comments to see. 373 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:52,680 Speaker 2: I bet he feels terrible. Oh to he better? Better? 374 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:53,800 Speaker 2: He doesn't, he's crazy. 375 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,800 Speaker 1: He also read the part where I came to the 376 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:59,400 Speaker 1: conclusion on my own that I had to end things way? 377 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:01,600 Speaker 2: Is this how he finds out? 378 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:05,119 Speaker 3: That's kind of crazy, But I feel like he was 379 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,640 Speaker 3: already admitting to an end already. He's like, whatever you choose, 380 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:09,160 Speaker 3: it's fine. 381 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,639 Speaker 1: I guess he could kind of like sense it, but like, 382 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:14,440 Speaker 1: I don't know, it's kind of unclear, but it almost 383 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 1: it almost feels like the final nail in the copy 384 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 1: was him reading it. 385 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's wild. 386 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,639 Speaker 3: I have a feeling though, that the relationship isn't going 387 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,840 Speaker 3: to end. That's my like, okay, so my prediction, my 388 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,920 Speaker 3: conspiracy is the relationship isn't gonna end. 389 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 2: Walk me through it, Like, why do you think that? 390 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,679 Speaker 3: I feel like he might change his ways after reading this? 391 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,400 Speaker 2: He might he might finally come to. 392 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 1: Like the same way that like if it felt like oh, 393 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,080 Speaker 1: P's process was just like writing it out and reading 394 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:44,400 Speaker 1: it back to herself, maybe his process is seeing everyone's 395 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 1: comments and probably how maybe he finally realizes how he's 396 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,840 Speaker 1: been acting is not normal and not okay. But let's see, 397 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 1: let's see, let's get back to reality. We talked briefly 398 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 1: over Skype. He told me he felt raw from the 399 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,200 Speaker 1: thread wow, but he was glad that I had gotten 400 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,359 Speaker 1: things out. He asked me if I was sure if 401 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,520 Speaker 1: I wanted to break things off or if I still 402 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:03,560 Speaker 1: needed time to think. 403 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:05,399 Speaker 2: I said I was pretty sure. 404 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,120 Speaker 1: He asked me for a probability this is a joke 405 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,960 Speaker 1: in our relationship for dealing with decisions, and I said 406 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 1: I was ninety percent sure that this was the end 407 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:19,320 Speaker 1: for us. Oh, and I was using my time away 408 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:23,359 Speaker 1: wisely to really consider everything. For some reason, his eyes 409 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,480 Speaker 1: brightened and he just told me that we could talk 410 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:29,360 Speaker 1: about it when I got back stayside. I wouldn't break 411 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,600 Speaker 1: up with him over Skype, and I think we have 412 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,320 Speaker 1: a lot of legalities to go through regarding the house, 413 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:37,200 Speaker 1: and we have to collect any deposits that are available 414 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:40,320 Speaker 1: when we canceled the wedding things because his mom didn't 415 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,760 Speaker 1: pay for any of the wedding she planned. 416 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 2: Oh so they're not married yet. 417 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,440 Speaker 3: They're not married yet, but they're soon to be a 418 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,120 Speaker 3: husband and wife maybe. 419 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,560 Speaker 1: And deposited all the stuff on the stuff the mother 420 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 1: in law wanted. Anyway, I had a sit down with 421 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 1: my father. He's been feeling much better, which is a 422 00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 1: huge relief. He has offered me two thirds of the 423 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:01,640 Speaker 1: cost of the house. 424 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:02,879 Speaker 2: Wow. 425 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,680 Speaker 1: So basically like some sort of offer for the house. 426 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,600 Speaker 1: He offered me two thirds of the cost of the 427 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,879 Speaker 1: house so I could either buy it from Adam and 428 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,840 Speaker 1: pay off most of the mortgage or just walk away 429 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 1: and buy myself something else. So he is essentially saving 430 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 1: her the trouble of the whole house, which is which 431 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,680 Speaker 1: is amazing. I did not expect this, but he said 432 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,199 Speaker 1: he would give me options should I decide what he 433 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,919 Speaker 1: thinks I have decided. He says he just wants me 434 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,040 Speaker 1: to have freedom and that he wouldn't want to see 435 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,879 Speaker 1: my heart and my bank account broken at the same time. 436 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,480 Speaker 2: So that's that. 437 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,879 Speaker 1: Like I said, nothing really happened between Adam and I. 438 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,400 Speaker 1: I do have more power though, thanks to my parents, 439 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:43,200 Speaker 1: and I have been. 440 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,760 Speaker 2: Enjoying my time with my family. 441 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 1: My mom and I have been shopping a lot, and 442 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:50,560 Speaker 1: my brother, my dad's doctor, and his family have been 443 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,240 Speaker 1: coming over for dinner quite a bit. My sister is 444 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,680 Speaker 1: expected to return from China tomorrow and I'm very excited 445 00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 1: to see her. I wish you all a happy holidays 446 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: in a hopeful new year. Hopefully my next update will 447 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,880 Speaker 1: have a conclusion one way for another. 448 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:08,040 Speaker 3: I need the conclusion. But it is so amazing that 449 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,400 Speaker 3: the father is just like, Hey, I don't even want 450 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,200 Speaker 3: you to worry about money, worry about what you want 451 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:17,720 Speaker 3: for your life without the like the complexity of intertwined financials, 452 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 3: because here's the other thing to consider, right, So he's 453 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,159 Speaker 3: buying her out of the house. 454 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 2: Great. 455 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 1: She's relieved of having to kind of deal with Adam 456 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,560 Speaker 1: on matters of the house. The dad now has to 457 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,040 Speaker 1: deal with Adam on matters of the house because he's 458 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:32,679 Speaker 1: a two thirds owner. 459 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:37,200 Speaker 3: I think what is happening is he's going to give 460 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:40,119 Speaker 3: her money and then he he's giving her two thirds 461 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 3: of cash for the house. So it's like if the 462 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,640 Speaker 3: if the house is worth one hundred thousand dollars, he's 463 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,760 Speaker 3: giving her sixty six thousand dollars, right, and then she 464 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 3: can use that money to buy Adam out of the house, 465 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,720 Speaker 3: I think. And so essentially he's just like unburdening her 466 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,800 Speaker 3: from having to think about it because she can buy 467 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,960 Speaker 3: Adam out of the house, right, which is okay, believe 468 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,320 Speaker 3: tell us if you think we're wrong, could. 469 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:01,960 Speaker 2: Be wrong, could be wrong. 470 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 1: But yeah, like either way, like at at the barrist 471 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 1: of minimum, he would probably have to deal with Adam 472 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 1: and some sort of I mean honestly, probably all three 473 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: of them have to deal closing that out. 474 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, but still, and it's probably not like. 475 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:17,520 Speaker 1: Sixty six thousand, It's probably like hundreds of thousands of dollars. 476 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 1: But she also is the option for just walking away 477 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,920 Speaker 1: from the house, giving in to Adam, and then taking 478 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 1: that money into getting something else. What she said, she 479 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,879 Speaker 1: also might deal totally totally huge, but I need to 480 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:27,560 Speaker 1: hear this update. 481 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:28,680 Speaker 2: Let's get into it. 482 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,080 Speaker 1: February twenty sixth, around two months later, I wanted to 483 00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 1: thank everyone again for their continued support and interest in 484 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,120 Speaker 1: my relationship issues. 485 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:37,480 Speaker 2: You're welcome, sincerely. 486 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 1: The advice and shared experiences have made everything a lot clearer. Also, 487 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:45,879 Speaker 1: Adam has been following along. Firstly, I specifically wanted to 488 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:49,200 Speaker 1: thank everyone who defended and supported Adam. I don't see 489 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,760 Speaker 1: Adam as a bad guy, and I really wouldn't want 490 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 1: to be vindictive, so passive aggressive comments while leaving, or 491 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:58,159 Speaker 1: making rude comments to him, or anything really mean hearted 492 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 1: I couldn't do to him me emotionally. Through getting my 493 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,880 Speaker 1: MBA helping me study for the LSATs, a very huge 494 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,800 Speaker 1: and complicated test. He read over my essays to apply 495 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,720 Speaker 1: to law schools. He did mock interviews with me, sat 496 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 1: through boring orientations, stayed up all night with me when 497 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,200 Speaker 1: I was sick with nerves. Before I took the bar. 498 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 1: He was my cheerleader when I ran my first triathlon. 499 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:24,720 Speaker 1: Bro Op's on top of her game, triathlete like. 500 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 2: Crazy, and he is my champion. 501 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:33,200 Speaker 1: When I see a house centipede, I guess to squash 502 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,600 Speaker 1: the mean bugs. He is my dream man and I 503 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,040 Speaker 1: would never give up my relationship with him if I 504 00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 1: didn't feel like I was fighting a losing battle. 505 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,640 Speaker 2: Now, are you guys in for a real shocker? 506 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, someone made a comment in the update that he 507 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,679 Speaker 1: would be outside my parents' house if he really wanted 508 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,359 Speaker 1: it to work. He took your advice to heart, and 509 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 1: he was outside with his bags and a rental on 510 00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:00,879 Speaker 1: the evening of the twenty fourth. I was, uh, taking 511 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,159 Speaker 1: it back. What do we think about that? 512 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:02,680 Speaker 2: Real quick? 513 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:06,800 Speaker 3: Christmas Eve? He's good that that that is rom com territory. 514 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,480 Speaker 3: Do we think that's a good move? 515 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,080 Speaker 2: I mean he listens at the comments. 516 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,399 Speaker 4: Yeah, he's having to fight for his I feel like 517 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,000 Speaker 4: that's where I mean, it's weird. 518 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 2: If it's a stranger, it's weird. 519 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,159 Speaker 3: If it's like someone they had a bad breakup, like 520 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 3: don't talk to me ever again. That there's this ten 521 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 3: percent like I'm not sure if I want to continue. 522 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 3: I think that's a fight for the relationship that is 523 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 3: that will be well rewarded. I think the showing up 524 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 3: there is great. Showing up with the bags on Christmas 525 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,359 Speaker 3: Eve is and I guess to her romantic to her house, 526 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,040 Speaker 3: to a parent's house, to the parents house. So he 527 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,960 Speaker 3: showed up in Europe with his bags, I mean on 528 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:48,000 Speaker 3: Christmas Eve saying here I am, I love you, rock me. 529 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:52,520 Speaker 2: Like a hurricane. The only weird thing, the only thing 530 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 2: is like his bags. 531 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,399 Speaker 1: It feels like he's expecting to stay over, which like 532 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:57,359 Speaker 1: maybe op is not right. 533 00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:01,239 Speaker 3: He's just expecting to say, somebody, just bro hey, I 534 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:02,600 Speaker 3: have America. 535 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,119 Speaker 1: I'm just saying, just you know, have the tact with 536 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 1: with the grand job, but you have a romantic. 537 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,800 Speaker 2: Boat of your body. 538 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:13,280 Speaker 3: It's all business as. 539 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,720 Speaker 2: It's all good work Johnson with me. 540 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 3: Okay, Riley, I could totally see Riley doing Riley never 541 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,119 Speaker 3: get in a situation where that would happen, but I 542 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:22,840 Speaker 3: could totally see Riley doing that. 543 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:24,840 Speaker 1: We need to we need to make like an eighties 544 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:26,920 Speaker 1: rom com movie with Riley, like I feel like. 545 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 2: Dude thrive. 546 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, Riley is the biggest quti this sat of the Mississippi. 547 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,440 Speaker 3: Maybe that's our our book and movie. 548 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:39,000 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I love chronicles rom com that we turned 549 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:40,280 Speaker 1: into those. 550 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,400 Speaker 4: Who knows Still I can't believe you do this. 551 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 2: You still can't believe that he I am down for it, Bro. 552 00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 3: I am just saying I'm waiting for you to show 553 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:53,000 Speaker 3: up to Sad Dan Christmas. 554 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 1: Bro in the middle of a horrendous civil war. I 555 00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:59,479 Speaker 1: it's the bags. It's just the bags lead to like, Oh, 556 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 1: I'm gonna So you're saying you're going to sit Dad 557 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:03,399 Speaker 1: without any bout no, no. 558 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,760 Speaker 2: One of the bags bothering your Okay, let me break 559 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,480 Speaker 2: it down. Expected to go. Let me break it down 560 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:11,840 Speaker 2: for you. 561 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,720 Speaker 1: Okay, So I go over there, I get a hotel, 562 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,760 Speaker 1: I drop my bags off there. 563 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,400 Speaker 2: What then I pull up to the spot in here. 564 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,480 Speaker 1: Because I'm not going to assume because what if the 565 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,960 Speaker 1: parents are like, yo, we don't want to we don't 566 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,720 Speaker 1: want you to stay overnight. What if the woman is 567 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:29,679 Speaker 1: like I don't want you to stay overnight. I'm like, 568 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:32,400 Speaker 1: I'm here if you want me in any and everything? 569 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 2: Are you kidding? Yes? 570 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:39,080 Speaker 4: No, dude, Okay, you just landed in Europe, person to 571 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:40,560 Speaker 4: whichever one you want to pay. 572 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:40,880 Speaker 3: Yeah. 573 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. 574 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 4: The first thing I get there, I'm gonna go see 575 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:46,879 Speaker 4: her because your relationships on the break. 576 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. Bro. You said you're gonna drop 577 00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:54,919 Speaker 2: your bags off of the hotel. Love is on the 578 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 2: line didn't go straight there at the second cuts, I say, 579 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 2: on this moment, bro, bro, your relationships Eve. 580 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:08,040 Speaker 3: Might be over and Christmas Eve is the most romantic Deshmas. 581 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:08,160 Speaker 2: Eve is fire. 582 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 1: That's like, come on banger Day, banger dayanger Babe. By 583 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 1: the way, this has been like two months basically, Oh no, no, no, 584 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,159 Speaker 1: this is this is Oh I'm just kidding. This was 585 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,520 Speaker 1: like two days after the after the incident, because December 586 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,359 Speaker 1: twenty second now December twenty fourth, so he almost immediately 587 00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:24,240 Speaker 1: turned around on a flight. 588 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:25,119 Speaker 2: I think that's great. 589 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,840 Speaker 1: I'm just saying, guys, please in the comments, don't tell 590 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: me if I'm an idiot or help me out here. 591 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:31,199 Speaker 2: You know. 592 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 3: If not, you're You're not an idiot, You're just not 593 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,160 Speaker 3: a romantic dude. 594 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,320 Speaker 2: To go the romantic is not gonna like I'm gonna 595 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 2: go to a hotel. I'm playing everything. No, it's gone. 596 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,000 Speaker 2: I'm going with my boom box and my bag straight 597 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:47,760 Speaker 2: to her door. And I'm saying, babe, all you it's 598 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 2: Christmas Eve. Fall in on the right. Don't love my 599 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 2: mom as much as you. My mom is back in 600 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:53,880 Speaker 2: the US. I'm here with. 601 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,199 Speaker 1: You boombox and the bags. That's all I'm saying. That's 602 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:57,960 Speaker 1: all I'm saying. I'm digging my heels in at this point, 603 00:27:58,280 --> 00:27:59,320 Speaker 1: I'm standing on business. 604 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,399 Speaker 3: Let us know if you would rather just leave it, 605 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,439 Speaker 3: leave the bags at the hotel, or come with the 606 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:05,680 Speaker 3: bags straight from the airport. 607 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 1: But for me, not assuming that I'm going to crash 608 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:13,000 Speaker 1: with you and your parents. To be clear, hates but 609 00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,399 Speaker 1: I'm here. But I'm here, all right, Back to me 610 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,880 Speaker 1: not hating, love and back to the story. So here 611 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:22,400 Speaker 1: we go. Vindicated. Okay, here we go. So I blurted out, 612 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,320 Speaker 1: what the f are you doing here? 613 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,560 Speaker 2: See? No, no, no, no. She goes say you that. 614 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,680 Speaker 2: She's like, what the f are you doing here? See 615 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:30,120 Speaker 2: we'll see. 616 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:32,280 Speaker 3: It's like I wanted to show you how much I 617 00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:35,600 Speaker 3: love you. And she's like, you can't be here, we 618 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,680 Speaker 3: can't be together. And he is like, but it's Christmas 619 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 3: and I have a package right for you. 620 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,840 Speaker 2: And she's like, oh, I thought you forgot. 621 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,080 Speaker 3: And he's like, it's your hand in Nady Santa's guy, 622 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,280 Speaker 3: this sad a come up with his sack, but I am. 623 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,920 Speaker 4: She just reaches her hand in the box. 624 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,160 Speaker 2: No bags, no bags bags. 625 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,040 Speaker 1: He just laughed and said he wanted to talk about everything, 626 00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:00,960 Speaker 1: and it couldn't wait until I got back. 627 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, I couldn't wait. I'm down for that good way. 628 00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,280 Speaker 2: I didn't have time to go to a hotel there 629 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:06,240 Speaker 2: stop it. 630 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,280 Speaker 1: He'd been reading all of the comments on the threads 631 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,320 Speaker 1: and he felt like they were very eye opening. He 632 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:14,920 Speaker 1: browsed r slash Raised by Narcissists and felt very moved 633 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,160 Speaker 1: by the similarity some of the posters have with their parents. 634 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,560 Speaker 1: He said that he spent the last few days thinking 635 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:22,800 Speaker 1: about what went down at the restaurant with his mother, 636 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,960 Speaker 1: and the look in my eyes when I looked at 637 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,920 Speaker 1: him after I realized what had happened broke his heart. 638 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,320 Speaker 1: What I didn't know was that he and his mother 639 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,800 Speaker 1: got into a row after I went to sit at 640 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:37,120 Speaker 1: the bar, fighting about me and how he doesn't feel free, 641 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,360 Speaker 1: how his sister used to say she had the same problems, 642 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,120 Speaker 1: but since she moved far away, it has died down 643 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,920 Speaker 1: a lot. A lot of people ask me why I 644 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,680 Speaker 1: put up with this for so long. I tried to 645 00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:51,840 Speaker 1: remember when this really started happening, when it stopped appearing 646 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 1: like regular mother in law don't want to lose my 647 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,280 Speaker 1: son comments, and began to feel like isolation and vehemence. 648 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,440 Speaker 1: We used to have an okay relationship when we first met. 649 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:04,320 Speaker 1: Sometimes we'd go shopping together and once we got our 650 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,720 Speaker 1: nails done. It was when Adam and I purchased a 651 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,800 Speaker 1: house together that's when it really started to get bad. 652 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 2: She's taken my baby away. 653 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,280 Speaker 1: The windows incident was the first really big issue. I 654 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,520 Speaker 1: remember when she realized we were serious about each other. 655 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 1: So back to when we were at my parents' house, 656 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 1: we had a serious heart to heart. I thanked him 657 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,000 Speaker 1: so much for saying that he didn't have to stay 658 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 1: at my place and not I'm just kiddingh I bared 659 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,560 Speaker 1: everything to him and he did the same, so there 660 00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:37,640 Speaker 1: was no extreme confession of incest or physical abuse. 661 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:43,040 Speaker 2: Well, thank god, Okay, swipe the brow. Yeah, it. 662 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,920 Speaker 1: Was just that he thinks he was raised by a 663 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,240 Speaker 1: narcissist who saw control of her son, her pride and 664 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 1: joy slipping away. We came to a decision. Here's what 665 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,880 Speaker 1: we decided. On December twenty seventh, he went back to 666 00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:00,960 Speaker 1: the US after New Year's Day, a days before me, 667 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,160 Speaker 1: and moved to stuff out of our place to a 668 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,320 Speaker 1: friend's house. He didn't want me to have to be 669 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,840 Speaker 1: inconvenience for changes he had to make. 670 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:10,400 Speaker 2: We put our. 671 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,360 Speaker 1: Engagement on hold for the time being. He canceled all 672 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,640 Speaker 1: the plans his mother made. He has been seeing a 673 00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:18,920 Speaker 1: therapist since the middle of January pretty consistently, twice to 674 00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:22,120 Speaker 1: three times per week. I've been to four sessions with him. 675 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 1: His mother has not. 676 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,120 Speaker 2: Oh, thank god. 677 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,640 Speaker 1: We have sort of begun dating each other again, and 678 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,520 Speaker 1: I have been talking to his sister and things that 679 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:35,120 Speaker 1: his mother put her through. Adam is very lucky now 680 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:38,800 Speaker 1: about his mother. He has decided to give her one 681 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,680 Speaker 1: last chance to go to therapy with him, and he 682 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,720 Speaker 1: stated that if she does not, he will be going 683 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,680 Speaker 1: no contact with him. 684 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:48,680 Speaker 2: Wow. We love an ultimatum. 685 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,840 Speaker 1: We have a lot to rebuilds, but I know we 686 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,400 Speaker 1: can do it together. So we have another Jersey update, 687 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,200 Speaker 1: another one, another one. 688 00:31:57,280 --> 00:32:00,239 Speaker 3: This feels like a great place to like end, But 689 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:01,840 Speaker 3: I guess there's juiciness to me. 690 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:02,960 Speaker 2: Squeeze. It ain't over. 691 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 1: So, since you're so enthralled by Opie's grain romantic gestures, 692 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:11,760 Speaker 1: how are you feeling about everything and prediction? Do you 693 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 1: think the relationship will be saved or do you think 694 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 1: it will ultimately alter out? 695 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,640 Speaker 3: I think op is like making a lot of strides 696 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:19,520 Speaker 3: in the right direction. 697 00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:20,520 Speaker 2: You mean Adam. 698 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,000 Speaker 3: Sorry, I think Adam is making a lot of strides 699 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,000 Speaker 3: in the right direction. And also I think Op is 700 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,720 Speaker 3: also making a lot of strides in the right direction. 701 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,440 Speaker 3: I think are I mean, yeah, Op is saying, hey, 702 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:30,200 Speaker 3: this does not. 703 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:30,720 Speaker 2: Work for me. 704 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,120 Speaker 3: Yes, here's what you can do to fix it. And 705 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,640 Speaker 3: Adam is fixing it and doing the same. And he's 706 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:40,479 Speaker 3: literally traveling across the world saying, I will move wherever baby, 707 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,200 Speaker 3: because I have brought all of my bags with me, 708 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:46,000 Speaker 3: and these bags are evidence that I will pick up 709 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,560 Speaker 3: and move wherever you want. 710 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,440 Speaker 2: Because this relationship is the most important thing to me. 711 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,280 Speaker 2: What about the bags? Bags? 712 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,200 Speaker 3: But yeah, I actually I think it's going in a 713 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:57,840 Speaker 3: great direction. I hope there isn't something weird that f 714 00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,400 Speaker 3: set up. Give me your final prediction. 715 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,840 Speaker 2: I think it's I think it's gonna I think, is 716 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:04,200 Speaker 2: my prediction. Yeah. 717 00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,280 Speaker 3: I think they're gonna stay together. Yeah, but he's gonna 718 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:07,800 Speaker 3: go no contact with his mom. 719 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:11,720 Speaker 2: Mmmm. I think there's a little drama to ensue. Yeah. 720 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:13,200 Speaker 2: I think at first I. 721 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,120 Speaker 1: Was a little iffy on whether it would it would 722 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,800 Speaker 1: work out, but it I mean, he he made drastic times, 723 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,560 Speaker 1: called for drastic measures, and Bro. 724 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,240 Speaker 2: Pulled the f up like he really did that. 725 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,040 Speaker 1: And I think he's finally ready to cut out his mom, 726 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 1: like he's the glasses has been broken with his mom. 727 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,560 Speaker 2: He realizes what's about to happen. Well, let's kick mom 728 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,080 Speaker 2: to the curb. Let's see what does happen in this 729 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:36,200 Speaker 2: juicy update. Get the Juice final Update. 730 00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,920 Speaker 1: December sixteenth, twenty fifteen, almost a full year later. It's 731 00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,960 Speaker 1: been a long time our slash relationships. We are all 732 00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:46,120 Speaker 1: a year older. Adam and I will be composing this 733 00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:51,880 Speaker 1: thread together. Huh oh No, I gave away the ending collapo. 734 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:57,360 Speaker 2: Yes we are together woo. In fact, we're married. Yes, 735 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:01,120 Speaker 2: Cayle Love wins. That's right. It's all because of the bag. 736 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:04,600 Speaker 1: No no, the bags almost through everything. She's like, man, 737 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,040 Speaker 1: this was going so great. The bags were the only 738 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:08,319 Speaker 1: thing that gave me second thought. 739 00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,680 Speaker 2: Right in the comments, are you team bags or team 740 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:12,400 Speaker 2: no bags? 741 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,440 Speaker 1: Put the lick no emoji in bag of oji if 742 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:19,360 Speaker 1: you were writing with your boy, Okay, and just put. 743 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,839 Speaker 2: Three bags with this boy. We'll see, we'll see who 744 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:23,400 Speaker 2: wins at the end. 745 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,480 Speaker 1: Okay, give us, give us your final votes all right, 746 00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,480 Speaker 1: So here it goes. Last time we left off, Adam 747 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,440 Speaker 1: was seeing a shrink still is to try and unwind 748 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:33,680 Speaker 1: some of the damage his mother did. Yep, we were 749 00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,600 Speaker 1: living separately for the time being. Adam's mother tried to 750 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:40,600 Speaker 1: end her own life, but no really, she called emergency 751 00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,960 Speaker 1: services before she tried, and didn't even have time to 752 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:48,000 Speaker 1: swallow more than two pills. It's so scary to think 753 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:51,200 Speaker 1: that within his mind there was such an abusive past 754 00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:55,640 Speaker 1: when he has always had such a happy exterior. My husband, man, 755 00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:58,959 Speaker 1: that's fun to say, was basically traumatized by his own 756 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:00,120 Speaker 1: mother his entire. 757 00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,640 Speaker 2: Your life, as was his sister. 758 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,880 Speaker 1: I had eluded before in one previous thread that Adam's 759 00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:07,960 Speaker 1: sister had it a lot worse. 760 00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:09,560 Speaker 2: Than Adam when they were younger. 761 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:13,760 Speaker 1: But when Adam's father died, his mom locked in on him. 762 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:17,960 Speaker 2: She had it worse. I cannot imagine. Imagine. That's insane. 763 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,920 Speaker 1: So Adam's dad passed away because of kidney failure. However, 764 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:25,040 Speaker 1: Adam had donated one of his kidneys to try to 765 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,680 Speaker 1: save him. His father's body rejected the donation and passed 766 00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,919 Speaker 1: away about eleven years ago. This coming April, his mother 767 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,640 Speaker 1: took it upon herself during this grieving process to manipulate 768 00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:39,040 Speaker 1: him into believing he killed his own father. 769 00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:41,640 Speaker 2: Oh, and she was alone now because of him. 770 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,439 Speaker 1: I feel so bad that she like attempted her own life. 771 00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,480 Speaker 1: But at a certain point, does someone become so destructive 772 00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,120 Speaker 1: that you just can't have them in your life. It's 773 00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:53,320 Speaker 1: it's such a hard thing because it's like what else 774 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,880 Speaker 1: can you do? Like, oh, he is trying to just 775 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,960 Speaker 1: truly live his life, and look, donated a kidney to 776 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,520 Speaker 1: his own father, And she's like, he's the he had 777 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:01,680 Speaker 1: a fighting chance. 778 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, a fighting chance. Your kidney wasn't good enough. 779 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:06,640 Speaker 4: Imagine if he didn't, Like, what would you be saying? 780 00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,919 Speaker 1: Probably like, oh, you're like he's he's still sick because 781 00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:11,600 Speaker 1: your kidney is like making him fail. 782 00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,160 Speaker 2: Like she would find some sort. 783 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,399 Speaker 1: Of way, Yeah, some sounds awful, some sort of way 784 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,040 Speaker 1: that if he wanted to repair what he did to her, 785 00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,600 Speaker 1: he would treat her better. Oh, every time he thought 786 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:24,000 Speaker 1: he could get away and create his own life and 787 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:27,240 Speaker 1: feel free, she would remind him the windows. For example, 788 00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 1: I only heard this part where she blamed me, but 789 00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,400 Speaker 1: I tried to think back on the conversation and really 790 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:33,839 Speaker 1: try to hear what Adam said. 791 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:34,640 Speaker 2: It's about four. 792 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,560 Speaker 1: Years ago now, but he was telling me at the 793 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,120 Speaker 1: moment that the reason her house was falling down was 794 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,600 Speaker 1: because she no longer had a man to take care 795 00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:44,160 Speaker 1: of it because he killed his dad. 796 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,880 Speaker 3: Oh, this gives so much context to like why he 797 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:49,520 Speaker 3: was bending over backwards. 798 00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:54,000 Speaker 1: Yes, true, so true, so true. He was trying to 799 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:57,440 Speaker 1: tell me. I just wasn't able to understand what it meant. 800 00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,799 Speaker 1: Same with the vacation to Barcelona. She was doing it 801 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:01,719 Speaker 1: in front of me. 802 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,440 Speaker 2: Now. When he was younger, a. 803 00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,640 Speaker 1: Lot of these issues had been regarding academic success or 804 00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:09,600 Speaker 1: athletic success. She didn't have any issue then with his 805 00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,160 Speaker 1: girlfriends or anything. She just viewed her children as extensions 806 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:13,800 Speaker 1: of herself. 807 00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:14,640 Speaker 2: It was bad. 808 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:18,680 Speaker 1: Just wasn't this level of guilt inducing insanity. Let's get 809 00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:22,040 Speaker 1: back to the present day. Adam psychologist had suggested Adam 810 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,880 Speaker 1: offer his mother a chance to come to therapy to 811 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:28,160 Speaker 1: work out issues. He wasn't able to propose this to 812 00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:30,920 Speaker 1: her at the time because after her attempt to take 813 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,680 Speaker 1: her life, she whisked herself away on a cruise to 814 00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:38,360 Speaker 1: get some much needed rn R whatever. Oh my god, 815 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:41,520 Speaker 1: you'd think that he was asking her to murder puppies 816 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:42,480 Speaker 1: the way. 817 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:46,359 Speaker 2: That she went on. So that's that no contact. I mean, 818 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,680 Speaker 2: I think it's the time, it's the time. It's the time. 819 00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:52,520 Speaker 1: She has tried, but Adam has either ignored all her 820 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:55,440 Speaker 1: phone calls with unknown numbers. We had our locks changed, 821 00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:58,480 Speaker 1: and his work has strict instructions not to let her 822 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,680 Speaker 1: pass the doors. We moved to where Adam's sister lives 823 00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,360 Speaker 1: in July, but I know his sister, we are close. 824 00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,279 Speaker 1: He has been no contact with her since she met 825 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:10,279 Speaker 1: her husband. We wrote off the twenty five thousand. We 826 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,040 Speaker 1: either get it back in probate, in court, in inheritance, 827 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:13,879 Speaker 1: or not at all. 828 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:15,399 Speaker 2: I'm not really choked up about it. 829 00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:17,600 Speaker 1: Not enough to do any extra work to get it 830 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:20,319 Speaker 1: back right now, especially since Adam is worried that she'll 831 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,040 Speaker 1: use it as leverage to buy back in. We ended 832 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,279 Speaker 1: up getting married in September. I flew to be out 833 00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:27,799 Speaker 1: with his parents this week to renew our vows in 834 00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:30,640 Speaker 1: their house, and we're going to have our honeymoon in 835 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:32,360 Speaker 1: Fiji come January. 836 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:32,800 Speaker 2: Amazing. 837 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,960 Speaker 1: That's oh God, you deserve Please don't let them huther 838 00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,839 Speaker 1: in lock com don't do it. My dad isn't doing 839 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 1: so well, but he always seems to fluctuate you like that. However, 840 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:46,080 Speaker 1: my brother isn't optimistic this time. Anyway, we were wondering, 841 00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:48,680 Speaker 1: since you all have been so supportive, if you would 842 00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:52,240 Speaker 1: do us one small favor. Adam and I are going 843 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:54,960 Speaker 1: to have a grieving ceremony for his father so he 844 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:58,680 Speaker 1: can process it correctly without manipulation. For any of you 845 00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,759 Speaker 1: who lost parents, what helped you get through it? Thank 846 00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:04,439 Speaker 1: you for everything. We wish we could have invited each 847 00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,040 Speaker 1: and every one of you to the wedding, but that 848 00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:07,960 Speaker 1: would be creepy. 849 00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:09,279 Speaker 2: Wow here we are. 850 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,280 Speaker 3: I mean it went pretty dark, yeah, but I feel 851 00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,520 Speaker 3: like we came out with like a beautiful ending where 852 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:17,600 Speaker 3: Op and her new hubby are happy. 853 00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:21,000 Speaker 1: Best possible out considering the circumstances, I would. 854 00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:25,319 Speaker 3: Say, and circumstances were rough, But I mean I guess 855 00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,880 Speaker 3: to Ope's question, like for anyone who has experienced the 856 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:30,960 Speaker 3: loss of a parent, like what did you do Togree? 857 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,879 Speaker 3: I would love to hear your answers to that, and 858 00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:37,360 Speaker 3: what do you think about how Ope went no contact 859 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:39,960 Speaker 3: with his mother? Like I feel I would love to 860 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,120 Speaker 3: know you think, John, But I feel like it was warranted. 861 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,120 Speaker 2: I think that was or sorry not op, but Adam 862 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:46,399 Speaker 2: went no contact with the mother. 863 00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:49,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it was. It was definitely warranted. Like 864 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:51,840 Speaker 1: there kind of just comes a point where it's like, 865 00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,920 Speaker 1: I can't just completely give you my life to like 866 00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:56,640 Speaker 1: manipulate and destroy. 867 00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,959 Speaker 2: It any At certain points, it's my it's my life, 868 00:39:59,000 --> 00:39:59,920 Speaker 2: and I can choose what. 869 00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:03,480 Speaker 1: To do exactly. I one hundred percent agree with that decision. 870 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:05,960 Speaker 3: But Riley, you have a little bit of a story 871 00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,040 Speaker 3: time about my mom and your bagels. 872 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:14,799 Speaker 4: So Sunday, Sophia was moving in and before she got there, 873 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,040 Speaker 4: we had a little text thread going and she was like, 874 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,279 Speaker 4: hopefully we have a clean kitchen because I bake a 875 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,480 Speaker 4: lot and those who have a clean kitchen gets baked goods. 876 00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:24,319 Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, the kitchen is a mess. 877 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:25,600 Speaker 4: I need to go clean it real quick. So I'm 878 00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:27,960 Speaker 4: like cleaning it and stuff and I say hey to Sophia, 879 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,560 Speaker 4: and then your mom comes in and I'm like the 880 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,879 Speaker 4: water's running because I'm like I'm like scrubbing the sink 881 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:34,200 Speaker 4: because there's a lot of stuff in it. She comes 882 00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,000 Speaker 4: up to me, She's like, uh, you're from Tennessee, right, 883 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,560 Speaker 4: And I'm like yeah, She's like, you know, here in California, 884 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,279 Speaker 4: we're in a drought and like we try to conserve water. 885 00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:44,880 Speaker 4: So she's like shuts the water off. She's actually, we 886 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:46,600 Speaker 4: need a big story man to help us out move 887 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:47,880 Speaker 4: the stuff in the car. Can you come out and 888 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,319 Speaker 4: do it? And I'm like, I'll do it after this, 889 00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,160 Speaker 4: like I'm almost done. She's like no, no, no. She like 890 00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:52,919 Speaker 4: takes it out of my hands, puts it down and says, 891 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,319 Speaker 4: you need to come help me right now. I'm like, so, 892 00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:57,440 Speaker 4: I'm just gonna be honest with you, Sam. That was 893 00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,920 Speaker 4: hard for me. So I was like I was like 894 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,799 Speaker 4: I just took a second and went the only way 895 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,200 Speaker 4: to like to get through this is if I just 896 00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:07,840 Speaker 4: like make fun of it or just like just whatever. 897 00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. So since then I was like, my mom is 898 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,040 Speaker 2: a force to be reckoned with. Yeah, to be clear, 899 00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:14,720 Speaker 2: like there's. 900 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:16,319 Speaker 4: No wageting around it. I'm just gonna like have fun 901 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,520 Speaker 4: with it. So anytime she would say something and I 902 00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:20,400 Speaker 4: would like kind of keep it light, harder or whatever, 903 00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:22,160 Speaker 4: like there's no reason to get upset about it. And 904 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:24,560 Speaker 4: then she looks at my bagels. I was like about 905 00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,200 Speaker 4: to make breakfast. She's like, are you eating these? And 906 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,840 Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, my everything bangels. She's like these a 907 00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:31,560 Speaker 4: super process and they're not good for you. You don't need 908 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:32,719 Speaker 4: to eat these. And I'm like, what are you do 909 00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,719 Speaker 4: make me a bagel? What do you want me to 910 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:39,439 Speaker 4: do and eat them? And she was like they're bad. 911 00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:43,120 Speaker 4: So that was that was funny. But she likes me, 912 00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:43,719 Speaker 4: she maybe. 913 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,279 Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, she she likes all of us 914 00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:50,200 Speaker 2: in the apartment. But mom, chill, dude. 915 00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:52,600 Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna end with they're like so 916 00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,279 Speaker 1: she threw the bls away and then I thought, that's 917 00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:56,440 Speaker 1: what you're about to take. 918 00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,760 Speaker 2: Us, bro. She threw our microwave away. She did. That's true. 919 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:04,040 Speaker 4: In fairness, we have That's okay, we do already have one. 920 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,520 Speaker 1: We need to clean that fridge downstairs. It's a gross 921 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:07,839 Speaker 1: It's true. Do we have a hose here? 922 00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,719 Speaker 2: I think, so, yeah, I'm back. We have it. Spray down, 923 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:12,160 Speaker 2: spray down. 924 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:17,440 Speaker 3: Hey, But if you love us, make sure to subscribe 925 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:19,760 Speaker 3: we love you, and see it to borrow