1 00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: All right. Before we get to the Strawberry Letter for today, 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,800 Speaker 1: we've got to remind the Steve Harvey Nation that they're 3 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 1: about seventy one days until the midterm elections on November eighth. 4 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:15,000 Speaker 1: If you need to register or check your voting status, 5 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:18,160 Speaker 1: please go to When We All Vote dot org. When 6 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:21,919 Speaker 1: We All Vote dot Org. Now it's time for the 7 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter. If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, 8 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 9 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be 10 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,520 Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're 11 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,560 Speaker 1: gonna read this one right here, right now, and you 12 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 1: never know it could be yours. That's right. Please tell 13 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: me this time for the Strawberry Letter with my good 14 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:49,240 Speaker 1: friend Shirley Strawberry. Thank you, my good friend, Junior. Subject 15 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 1: Did I make it all up? Do? Stephen? Shirley my 16 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,320 Speaker 1: boyfriend and I are in our early thirties and we've 17 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 1: been together for two years. We've been on a game 18 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: off again for the past year of our relationship because 19 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 1: he gets upset over the smallest things. I assumed he 20 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 1: was cheating on me when we'd argue and not speak 21 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:13,760 Speaker 1: to each other. On our last breakup, we were apart 22 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,440 Speaker 1: for a month, so I took it upon myself to 23 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: be the bigger person and try to fix things with him. 24 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: He had been living with his cousin in a town 25 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 1: house about five miles from my house. I went by 26 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,720 Speaker 1: the house and they had moved. I called my boyfriend 27 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,559 Speaker 1: and his phone was no longer in service. I got 28 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,120 Speaker 1: mad all over again, and I thought he'd taken the 29 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 1: games too far this time. A few weeks passed and 30 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 1: I really missed him, so I rode by his mother's 31 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: house and I didn't see his car, so I kept going. 32 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 1: I noticed that he had untagged himself in two group 33 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 1: pictures I posted of us on my Instagram page. My 34 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 1: profile is private because he doesn't want our love life 35 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 1: on social media. He hates taking pictures and always dodges 36 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 1: my phone whenever I'm taking selfies or when I try 37 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: to take pictures with him, And now I know why. 38 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 1: When he went missing, my intuition finally kicked in and 39 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:14,120 Speaker 1: I found his exus Facebook page. She lived in another 40 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: city and so does he with her and their newborn son. 41 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 1: They got married two years ago. According to Facebook, that's right. 42 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: Around the time I met him, I ran to my 43 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:30,360 Speaker 1: mother for comfort, but she was no help. She said 44 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: that he gave me signs all along, that he's married. 45 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: But I made up a fairytale relationship in my head. 46 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 1: But he said he loved me all the time, and 47 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:43,639 Speaker 1: we had unprotected intercourse. He was mine and I was his. 48 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: How could I possibly make it all up? What do 49 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 1: I do now? Well, I mean, you know, what do 50 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: you do now? I mean you move on with your life. 51 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: And as hard as that sounds, that's what you have 52 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 1: to do. Two words, It's over. It's over. He's married 53 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,640 Speaker 1: with a newborn. There's nothing else to discuss. Don't be 54 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: mad at him, because, like your mom said, he gave 55 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 1: you signs all along, But you were so disillusioned, so 56 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: caught up, you made up a fairy tale relationship in 57 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: your head. You ignored all the red flags. We talk 58 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 1: about this all the time on this show. There are 59 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,919 Speaker 1: red flags. You cannot ignore them, but you did. They 60 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 1: were there from the very beginning. You just made the 61 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 1: choice to ignore them. You said, finally your intuition kicked 62 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: in and you finally paid attention to you know, and 63 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 1: you got what he was saying, but your mom gave 64 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: you what you needed in that moment. You need it 65 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 1: tough love. So you gotta stop calling him, stop writing 66 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: by his mom's house, his old town house. You gotta 67 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: stop looking for him on Facebook and stuff. You gotta 68 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 1: let this stuff go. You gotta let him go. You 69 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,120 Speaker 1: don't need to talk to him, You don't need to 70 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: find out what happened. You don't need to get any close. 71 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 1: He already gave you that closure when he went back 72 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: to his wife and with his child, so you need 73 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 1: to block him. Anything other than that after what he 74 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:13,520 Speaker 1: did is just desperation on your part. And trust me, 75 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 1: you'll get over this. You will many have and you 76 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 1: will too. Steve, you know this letter is different. Did 77 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 1: I make it all up? Well? You know what I 78 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: chose to do with this letter, Shirley, was. I decided 79 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:34,880 Speaker 1: to talk about what she didn't mention. Okay, because this 80 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: letter is full of what she didn't mention. My boyfriend 81 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 1: and I in our early thirties and we've been together 82 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 1: for two years. We've been on and off again for 83 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:55,359 Speaker 1: the past year of our relationship. I've told women how 84 00:04:55,440 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: many times, Shirley, that men don't do millions We don't 85 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 1: do off. No, we own with somebody. If we off 86 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 1: and own with you, it's because we off with you, 87 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: because we own somewhere else, like a schedule. So you've 88 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,479 Speaker 1: been on again, off again for the past you in 89 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 1: your relationship because he gets upset over the smallest things. 90 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:27,280 Speaker 1: That's just his out. You ain't cooking right. He got 91 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: to go home and eat. What you say that fault 92 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 1: in the back of his mind. My wife, don't talk 93 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 1: like that. You just let me come and go as 94 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,360 Speaker 1: I please. I gotta get home. My wife checking on me. 95 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. It's what she's not saying. 96 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:49,080 Speaker 1: I assumed that he was cheating on me when we 97 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 1: argue and not speak to each other. You assumed he 98 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:59,240 Speaker 1: was cheating on you. Oh sha't cool. What you're not 99 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 1: saying is you didn't assume he was cheating with me 100 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,279 Speaker 1: on our last breakup. We were a part for a month. Yeah, 101 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,520 Speaker 1: he had to go get it together now. So I 102 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 1: took it abond myself to be a bigger person to 103 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 1: try to fix it with him. We've been living. He 104 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,680 Speaker 1: had been living with his cousin in a town house 105 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,600 Speaker 1: about five miles from my house. I went by the 106 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 1: house and they had moved. He never lived at He 107 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 1: was using his cousin's house. Girl, when I come back, 108 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna tell you the rest of it. Sherlon 109 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 1: already tell you what you needed to do. I'm just 110 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:43,000 Speaker 1: gonna help you get the facts. All right, Steve, We'll 111 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 1: have part two of your response coming up at twenty 112 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter, subject did 113 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: I make it all up? We'll be back right after this. 114 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:57,599 Speaker 1: You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, Come on, Steve, 115 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry letter, the subject I make it 116 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 1: all up? Yeah, your mother told you this, but you 117 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,840 Speaker 1: don't listen. Relationship she having with a boyfriend two years 118 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: has been on again, off again for the past year. 119 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: That's I've told women. We don't do off. We just 120 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaker 1: do own. If we're offered you the cause we're own 121 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 1: somewhere else. Our last breakup, they broke up for a month, 122 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 1: so she took it on herself to be a bigger 123 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: person to try to fix things with him. He had 124 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 1: been living with his cousin in the town house about 125 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 1: five miles from my house. No, he wasn't he was 126 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,520 Speaker 1: going over there for the hook up. There was the 127 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 1: hook up pan in his cousin's house. He wasn't living there, 128 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: so when you went by, they had moved. The cousin moved. 129 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: He back at the house with his wife. Yeah. I 130 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: called my boyfriend and his phone was no longer in service. 131 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 1: He didn't got he didn't had to get rid of 132 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: ever dance. I got mad all over again and thought 133 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: he'd taking the games too far this time once again, 134 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: thirty old boyfriend, y'all taking the games too far this time? 135 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:08,640 Speaker 1: So you was in a gamesmanship, not a relationship. In 136 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: a gamesmanship, not a relationship. A few weeks past and 137 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 1: I really missed him, So I rode by his mama's 138 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,200 Speaker 1: house and I didn't see his car, so I kept going. 139 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 1: I noticed he had untagged himself in two group pictures 140 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: I had posted of us on Instagram. Yeah, see, he 141 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 1: didn't get rid of the phone. He had to untagged. 142 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:37,439 Speaker 1: He got busted by his wife. My profile is private 143 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 1: because he don't want our love life on social media 144 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:46,960 Speaker 1: because his wife will find out. Girl. He hates taking 145 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: pictures and always dodges my phone when I remember I'm 146 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,839 Speaker 1: taking selfies or when I try to take pictures with him. 147 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 1: He can't be in no picture. He ain't even famous, 148 00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 1: and he doing that right, And now I know why Dan, 149 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:06,720 Speaker 1: the light bulb went off and Dumby head when he 150 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 1: went missing. My intuition finally kicked in. It finally kicked in. No, 151 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: it didn't, lady, it been kicking in. You just ignored 152 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: and tried to make something of that. You've been in 153 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: the owner again off again relationship for the past year. 154 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 1: He gets upset over the smallest things. Here's your other intuition. 155 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: I assumed he was cheating on me when we'd all 156 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:37,479 Speaker 1: getting not speak to each other all. That was intuition. 157 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 1: I called my boyfriend's phone and he was no longer 158 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: in service. I got mad all over again. That was intuition. 159 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:49,960 Speaker 1: I thought he'd taking the games too far this time. 160 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 1: That was intuition. Then he had untagged himself in two 161 00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 1: group pictures I posted on my Instagram. That was intuition. 162 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: Your profile is private because he doesn't want our love 163 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 1: on social media. That was intuition. He takes pictures and 164 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 1: dodges my phone whenever I'm taking selfish where I try 165 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: to take rid of That was intuition. Then she said, 166 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 1: and now I know why when he went missing. My 167 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 1: intuition kicked in, and I found his ex's Facebook page. 168 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: She lives in another city and soldiers. He with her 169 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 1: and their newborn son. They got married two years ago, 170 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: according to Facebook. That's right around the time I met him. 171 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: I ran to my mother for comfort, but she was 172 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,640 Speaker 1: no help. She said. He gave me all the signs 173 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 1: all along that he was married, but I made up 174 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 1: a faerytary relationship in my head. But he said he 175 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,839 Speaker 1: loved me all the time, and we had unprotected in 176 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: the course. He was mine and I was his. How 177 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:01,439 Speaker 1: could I possibly make it all up? You just did? 178 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 1: You just read this letter to us, and you said 179 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 1: he was mine and I was his? How could I 180 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 1: possibly make this up? You tell us your your your 181 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: intuition kicked in from the very beginning. You ignored it 182 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: until later on in the life before you went to 183 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,320 Speaker 1: his exits Facebook page and found out he lived in 184 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 1: another city with him and his newborn son. What do 185 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:31,959 Speaker 1: I do now? What shure he hold you? What do 186 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: you do now? You got to move on? Yeah, yeah, 187 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 1: you have nothing. You got to move on. He's married, 188 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: he got a family, He lived out of town. You 189 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,559 Speaker 1: ain't got no phone number on him. You've been untagged. 190 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 1: You can't take no pictures with him. He don't want 191 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:56,360 Speaker 1: to take pictures with you. He's married. What do I 192 00:11:56,480 --> 00:12:00,720 Speaker 1: do now? You move on? It's nothing else for you 193 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:05,080 Speaker 1: to do. I'm sorry. This is the way it works. 194 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 1: Stop writing by his mom's house, that's for sure, because 195 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 1: mama don't give it to Your mama didn't care, right, 196 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 1: His mama could give lesson than she's interested in. Right, 197 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: None of the mama's is sitting a kid. Your old 198 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:36,959 Speaker 1: mama didn't kire no. She told you you made it up. 199 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 1: It was in your head, a fantasy relationship, So stop 200 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:44,560 Speaker 1: making up stuff without facts. So what you had unprotected 201 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: in it? He had it with that other girl too, 202 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 1: and she got a baby. Brenda kud a baby. Pick 203 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:59,040 Speaker 1: your mama's up, Go home, all right? Post your comments 204 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:02,200 Speaker 1: on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram 205 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 1: and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. 206 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 1: Coming up with forty six minutes after the hour, Sports 207 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,439 Speaker 1: Talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to the 208 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 1: Stave Harvey Morning Show