1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:06,320 Speaker 1: The Bread Show is on. It's Stay or Go Brand. Hi, Brenda, 2 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: how you doing? Good morning? Hi, Good morning, Brand, Welcome 3 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:10,879 Speaker 1: to the program. 4 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 2: What's going on with you? It's like group therapy. We 5 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:14,680 Speaker 2: call it stay or Go? Tell us everything. 6 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 3: Okay, So I've been dating this guy for about six 7 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:25,320 Speaker 3: months and we are exclusive. But I mean everything's going really, 8 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 3: really well. But I have to admit that we definitely 9 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 3: started sort of seeing each other when he was married 10 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 3: a few years ago. 11 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 1: Okay, any things happened, so I'm told? 12 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:42,279 Speaker 2: So yeah, okay, so he was So you were having 13 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:43,279 Speaker 2: an affair with him? 14 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 3: No, No, I mean we didn't do anything sexually until 15 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,160 Speaker 3: he was separated from his wife. 16 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: Well that's wrong with that. 17 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 3: Well, we I mean we would go out and you know, 18 00:00:56,400 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 3: get drinks when he was still with her, but it 19 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 3: was sort of, you know, it was a friend thing. 20 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 2: Okay, So we'll go with that. Friends until he was 21 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,320 Speaker 2: separated and then it became physical. And now you guys 22 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 2: have been together together exclusively. Okay, So what's the issue. 23 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 3: So the issue is, like I said, we've been seeing 24 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 3: each other for six months, but recently he's been hanging 25 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 3: out with this woman from his office after work. And 26 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 3: whenever I ask him about it, he says, you know, 27 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 3: I have nothing to worry about, but I'm a little 28 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 3: worried because this is basically how we started seeing each other, 29 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 3: and I don't know if it's going to turn into something. 30 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: Out I see. 31 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 2: Okay, So now all of a sudden, it's almost as 32 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 2: if the tables have turned, and it would appear that 33 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 2: you know, now he's got this friend at work and 34 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 2: they're having drinks, but you guys are together, So in 35 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 2: your mind, you're going, well, because we did this, then 36 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 2: what would prevent him from doing it again with someone else? 37 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 2: Because well, we justified it. So interesting, what does your 38 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 2: gun tell you? Does your gut tell you that you 39 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:14,680 Speaker 2: have nothing to worry about? Or that does this smell 40 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 2: a lot like the your situation? 41 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not sure. I think that they're just friends. 42 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 3: But again, we've only been together for six months. 43 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 2: When did the when was a true transition, like like 44 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 2: real talk between us girls? 45 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: When you were when. 46 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 2: You were just quote unquote friends and you weren't supposedly physical, 47 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:47,280 Speaker 2: I mean, when he was still married, did it feel 48 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 2: a lot like a relationship or was it truly a friendship? 49 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 2: That then he gets separated and goes you know what 50 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 2: there should be there could be a physical component to this, 51 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:56,639 Speaker 2: or hey, we should try to be more than friends. 52 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,079 Speaker 2: I mean, did you kind of know what was happening 53 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 2: before it happened? 54 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 4: Yeah? 55 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:02,080 Speaker 5: I did. 56 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,640 Speaker 3: I mean I think he knew too, and we just 57 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 3: sort of tried to ignore it. But we definitely felt something. 58 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,920 Speaker 3: We never talked about anything, but there was definitely a. 59 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:16,119 Speaker 2: Spark because it sounds like this dude wouldn't have any 60 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 2: real problem turning friends into romance, you know, any other thing. Yes, 61 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 2: And you want to believe trust me, trust me. You 62 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,920 Speaker 2: want to believe that it's just you. You know, you 63 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 2: want to believe that you're the one, this serendipity or 64 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 2: something like you came along at the right time and 65 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 2: and you know, you guys were meant to be together 66 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 2: and that's why this behavior is this way. 67 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 1: That's what you want to believe. It can happen. I 68 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: think I think it can. 69 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 2: But I think it's interesting that he all of a 70 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 2: sudden now has this new female friend from work. Now, Brenda, 71 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 2: are you included in this relationship at all? Like, are 72 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 2: you ever invited to go out with the two of them? 73 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 3: No? 74 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 1: Oh, no, girl, this is karma. A ye is karma. 75 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: But b he's doing the same thing he did he 76 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,040 Speaker 1: did with his wife. Like, he can't go if you 77 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: guys are together. 78 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 2: He can't go off the coworker with no explanation and say, hey, 79 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 2: we're just getting drinks. 80 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: You can't come along. There's no reason for you. 81 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 2: I would think if he wanted you to know that 82 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 2: this wasn't like your situation, that he would include you 83 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 2: in this, or there would be more people than just 84 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 2: the two of them. It doesn't look good. I'm not 85 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 2: saying he definitely is doing that, but it doesn't look good. 86 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 6: How you get him is how you lose him. Yeah, 87 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 6: she should have thought about that when she was with 88 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 6: that man's that lady's husband. So now that she has 89 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 6: that lady's husband, now she's in that seat and she 90 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:32,160 Speaker 6: don't like how I feel. 91 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,280 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Frian, but you probably need to leave. 92 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 2: Wow, okay, all right? Eight five five five nine one 93 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:43,839 Speaker 2: three five. The text are below. Wa yeah about this, Brenda, 94 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,239 Speaker 2: have the radio one. I want to hear what people 95 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 2: have to say. But thanks for calling. Good luck. 96 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 7: You See. 97 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 2: Look, I don't know that it necessarily has to be 98 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 2: like that. Like, let's sit, you meet somebody. Look, I 99 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 2: don't know the nature of their relationship. I don't know 100 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,240 Speaker 2: the nature of the marriage. Let's say the marriage was 101 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:03,720 Speaker 2: was bad and it was unwinding and things weren't going well. 102 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,359 Speaker 2: Let's just say that, right, and then he meets the 103 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 2: other girl, and then there's like, I don't know, there's 104 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 2: the transition. Maybe the marriage was already over before it 105 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 2: even started. So why does that make him? Why does 106 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,240 Speaker 2: he have karma against him? Why is he considered a 107 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 2: quote unquote cheater? He says, nothing happened till they were separated. Technically, 108 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:21,719 Speaker 2: that's not cheating. 109 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 6: Well, you know, I love it technically because technically he's married. 110 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 6: So when you with him, technically y'all cheating and creeping 111 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 6: because he's still married. He belonged with somebody else on paper, 112 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 6: and she knew that, and now that she has him, 113 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 6: she's uncomfortable with him doing the exact same thing. And 114 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 6: for furthermore, what man, Okay, need a new female friend, right, 115 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,840 Speaker 6: I don't understand. You know, you got your mama and 116 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 6: your sister. 117 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: What other friend? I'm worried about that. Let's let's move 118 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,279 Speaker 1: onward to what he's doing. 119 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,000 Speaker 2: Now, I don't necessarily think that the fact that he 120 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 2: linked up with another woman while his marriage was dissolving, 121 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,719 Speaker 2: I don't necessarily that's very common. 122 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,360 Speaker 7: We don't know if it's dissolving though right right separated, yes, 123 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 7: but we don't like know that for sure. I'm gonna 124 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 7: get confirmation. 125 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 2: We can't say, does I think someone while you're separated 126 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 2: is not? It is very common, happens all the time. 127 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,840 Speaker 2: So I don't like you. You can't help who you 128 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 2: fall for. Like I've fallen for people that I'm not 129 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 2: supposed to seriously married man. 130 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,719 Speaker 8: You No, I've not fallen for a married man, but 131 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 8: I've fallen for people that, like I shouldn't be falling for. 132 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:20,919 Speaker 1: And you can't help that. 133 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 8: Now, how you act after that that speaks to your character. 134 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 8: But we can't act like just because someone's married doesn't 135 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 8: mean there isn't chemistry or that you're not like, oh crap, 136 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:31,040 Speaker 8: I'm getting a. 137 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,040 Speaker 1: Crush on someone. 138 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,800 Speaker 2: I don't love the fact that after six months he's 139 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 2: already got a new female friend that she can interne 140 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,960 Speaker 2: in a setting that she can't be inclusion. That's where 141 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,359 Speaker 2: I'm at with this. Things are situation does look like 142 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,599 Speaker 2: a pattern for him. I don't necessarily think, though, that 143 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,039 Speaker 2: because you met someone who then got separated and dated him, 144 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 2: I don't think that necessarily means that this person is 145 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:58,320 Speaker 2: inherently a cheater, until, of course, he finds another female 146 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 2: friend at work to hang out with. Just friends that 147 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,919 Speaker 2: you're not allowed to know about. You can't go to 148 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 2: the meetings, you can't know this person, You're not included 149 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:07,560 Speaker 2: in that social setting. 150 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,280 Speaker 1: I don't like that. 151 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,720 Speaker 8: I don't know you can say to someone listen, I 152 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 8: have I'm getting feelings for you. So I'm gonna cut this. 153 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 8: This is inappropriate. I'm not going to hang out with 154 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 8: you like we can't have a friendship, and then they 155 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 8: can go do whatever they want to do. 156 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 2: But yeah, the Devil's advocate being that's how they met. 157 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 2: It looks like that's what he's doing again now, I 158 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 2: mean I can see, yeah, I can see why she 159 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 2: has concerns. 160 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 4: Them. 161 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 1: I've never heard that before, but that is I mean, 162 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: I never heard that particular saying. I've heard about karma. 163 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 2: Okay, Kara boy, Hey Myra, Hi Myra, Oh, good morning, welcome. 164 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 1: What do you think. 165 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 4: I think number one? This is her karma? 166 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 2: Number two? 167 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 4: If he did it with her, He's going to do 168 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 4: it to her. 169 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,559 Speaker 1: So if she's gonna say, that's what's going to happen 170 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: to her, this is what she gets. 171 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 2: So somebody who will be blurry with their existing relationship 172 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 2: will will always be blurry with you. 173 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 5: Absolutely. 174 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 1: In my experience, I had a husband who was very 175 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: friendly with coworkers and eventually left me for one. 176 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,960 Speaker 4: So I know it's going to happen to her too. 177 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 2: Okay, fair enough, Yeah, thank you, Marah, have a good day. 178 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 1: Thank Yeah. I don't know. 179 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 2: I don't have much argument against this. I'd like to 180 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,120 Speaker 2: believe that sometimes, to your point, came when some people, 181 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 2: you know, relationships phase out, new relationships phase in new 182 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,440 Speaker 2: phase of life, Like sometimes I want to believe that 183 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,680 Speaker 2: certain people are meant to be together at certain times, 184 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 2: and maybe it's not one person for the rest of 185 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 2: your life. I'd like to believe that there's a way 186 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 2: to handle it such that it doesn't mean that the 187 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,080 Speaker 2: person's going to do it to you just like it 188 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 2: happened to you, you know what I mean. I'd like 189 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 2: to believe that it's like, Okay, that's over, this is beginning, 190 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 2: and that's great, and this is what I was supposed 191 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 2: to be doing as opposed to that's over, now this 192 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 2: and now moving on to something else, be shady again. 193 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 1: Yeah. I like to believe that. Yeah, but it's not black. Yeah, 194 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: and it doesn't work that way. 195 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 7: I feel like a lot of overlapping contend to happen, 196 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,640 Speaker 7: you know what I'm saying. So I think that might 197 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 7: be happening here. Although can I play doubles ou kit 198 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 7: really quick too? You didn't mention like, oh, if their 199 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:14,559 Speaker 7: relationship or their marriage was rocky, right, what if I'm 200 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,959 Speaker 7: just saying like the wife was blindsided? Like what if 201 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 7: like it was rocky, but she didn't think like he 202 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 7: was doing this or leaving or whatever, Like, I don't think. 203 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,200 Speaker 1: It's fair to her, you know what I'm saying. 204 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 2: No, I mean people are saying I'm naive. It's not 205 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 2: that I'm naive. I just don't necessarily want to believe 206 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 2: that once a cheater, always a cheater. I want to 207 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 2: believe that it's if someone is capable of reforming their ways. 208 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 2: I will say, if you cheat more than once, then 209 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 2: I begin to believe that you're a habitual, that you're 210 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:41,320 Speaker 2: a narcissist, and you come first, and and that you 211 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,360 Speaker 2: probably will do it again, because if you can, if 212 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 2: you can defile someone that way more than once, then 213 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 2: I think there's something about you that says you're just 214 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:54,720 Speaker 2: more important than everybody else. Hey Catherine, Hey, Hey, good 215 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 2: morning Catherine. What do you think Sarago? 216 00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 7: Oh my goodness, friend, I love you guys. 217 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,880 Speaker 4: I she needs to go. This seems super sketchy. And 218 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,199 Speaker 4: I totally agree. 219 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 9: With Kiki how you get them and how you lose. 220 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 1: Them, and I think this is her karma. She it 221 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 1: doesn't sound good. 222 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 4: She needs to go. 223 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 2: It doesn't look great. No, it doesn't. Thank you, Catherine, 224 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 2: Thank you. I wouldn't think a whole lot about this 225 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 2: if he didn't just hurry up and get himself a 226 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 2: new friend at work. 227 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 1: Right, that's shady. 228 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 2: And again, you can have friends at work. But anytime 229 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,680 Speaker 2: that I'm you know, talking to somebody who has friends 230 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 2: that I don't get to know or have any role in, 231 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,840 Speaker 2: you know whatever, or like I'm a secret or something 232 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 2: like that, maybe usually doesn't end. 233 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 1: Will Hey Liz, Hi, Hi, Liz, good morning, stay her go. 234 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 6: I think you should stay well why. 235 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 9: She used to deal with her karma and get ready 236 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:48,600 Speaker 9: for all the girls that are going to be coming 237 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 9: up next. 238 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 1: But he really Lessie. 239 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 2: So that's why, that's why Liz wants her to stay, 240 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:57,239 Speaker 2: so she can like soak it all away, just like Kiki. 241 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 9: Said, how you get them with how you lose them? 242 00:10:59,040 --> 00:10:59,959 Speaker 9: So she should be ready. 243 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 2: But what if they're in like a super dysfunctional relationship 244 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,079 Speaker 2: that was going to end anyway, and then he just 245 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 2: meets this other person and it's like, oh, okay, I'm 246 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,000 Speaker 2: moving on now, like this thing's been broken, and now 247 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,079 Speaker 2: I have a reason to leave, like a real reason 248 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 2: to leave, or a reason to expedite the process, Like 249 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:17,200 Speaker 2: why does it have to be forget about again? You 250 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 2: add the component of this other new new woman and 251 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 2: now I'm skeptical. But without that, why does it have 252 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 2: to be that someone who with whom there was a 253 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 2: gray area will always there will always be a gray area, 254 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Like, Liz, would you feel 255 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 2: the same way about this story if there was not 256 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,680 Speaker 2: another woman now emerging? 257 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,319 Speaker 9: No, if it wasn't another woman emerging, if he left 258 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 9: on a court and then after not was someone But 259 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,000 Speaker 9: if she, knowing he was in a relationship, even if 260 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:48,559 Speaker 9: it was Rocky, jumped into that spot, she was throwing 261 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 9: everything up. 262 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,960 Speaker 1: Huh okay, all right, Lisa, have a good day. 263 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 4: I love you guys. 264 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 1: I love you too. Sheila. How you doing, good morning, 265 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,439 Speaker 1: I'm good. How are you guys, Sheila? Welcome, thanks for listening. 266 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:04,160 Speaker 2: So just to recap here, the woman that called was 267 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 2: friends quote unquote with a man who was married. She 268 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 2: claims that they didn't cross over into a romantic sort 269 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:16,440 Speaker 2: of realm until he was separated, and then now they've 270 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,760 Speaker 2: been together for six months and then all of a sudden, 271 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:22,600 Speaker 2: now homeboys got a new friend at work that he 272 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,720 Speaker 2: hangs out with and has drinks with, just like he 273 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 2: did with the one he's with. 274 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 1: Now, what do you think I think she is? 275 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 4: I think she was the product of a marriage dissolution, 276 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 4: and I think she needs to understand that there are 277 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,920 Speaker 4: three parts to this, Like you were just saying about 278 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 4: the guy and how you're looking at it from, I 279 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,960 Speaker 4: guess the guy's perspective of being in a relationship, and 280 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,080 Speaker 4: how a person can be friends with someone quote unquote 281 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 4: and then crossed the line to their marriage dissolving and 282 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 4: now they enter into that relationship. Well, we're trying to 283 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 4: remind you of afraid the build up to that you 284 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 4: don't just wake up and say, oh, I'm going to 285 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,320 Speaker 4: be in an intimate, really relationship with somebody who once 286 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 4: was married or is separated. You know that you're making 287 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:07,679 Speaker 4: a conscious effort to get in the middle of a marriage, 288 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 4: and that is what she did. If their marriage was ended, 289 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 4: let it end. But if you are a part of 290 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 4: that dysfunction, you don't get rewarded for that. That's what 291 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:20,000 Speaker 4: I'm saying, Parma. I'm a wife. I wish my husband 292 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 4: would tell me where you got a friend someplace, and 293 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,679 Speaker 4: I can't go be with them be automatically. You're telling 294 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:29,400 Speaker 4: me that there's something's happening that you don't want me 295 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,240 Speaker 4: to be witnessed to. I'm talking about from a marriage perspective. 296 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,439 Speaker 4: We're not going in and play games. If that's the case, 297 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 4: what's what you're getting married for. So she knew that 298 00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 4: she was an active participant in a marriage being dissolved, 299 00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:44,400 Speaker 4: that's the problem. 300 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: I don't know about that, though. 301 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 2: I think it's possible that you. 302 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:50,880 Speaker 4: Think it's. 303 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 1: Well, hold on, now here's the thing. There's a caveat here. 304 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,840 Speaker 2: I think it's possible that you can come along at 305 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 2: a time where someone else's relationship is over. Now they 306 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:06,920 Speaker 2: got to end that relationship and then you can move 307 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,200 Speaker 2: on together, and then they got to not get a 308 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 2: new friend six months later. I think it's possible that 309 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 2: you could meet someone who is in a completely broken dynamic. 310 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:18,360 Speaker 1: I don't necessarily think that. 311 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:20,400 Speaker 2: I think it's also possible you can come along and 312 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 2: influence someone to break up with. But that's different than 313 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,880 Speaker 2: meeting someone who your understanding is their relationship is over 314 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:27,800 Speaker 2: the female. 315 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 4: I agree with that, but their relationship is not over. 316 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,640 Speaker 4: It's he's still married. Well, she did not say that 317 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:38,040 Speaker 4: they were separated, that they were living in two separate homes, 318 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 4: that they had already signed the papers waiting on the 319 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:41,160 Speaker 4: court date. 320 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 1: She didn't say that. 321 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 4: And then on top of that, she at home sitting 322 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,520 Speaker 4: on the couch reading the book, with dinner getting cold 323 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:48,240 Speaker 4: on the table. 324 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 1: Ain't life doing That's we're putting a lot on the station. 325 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,280 Speaker 1: It's the biggest concern here is the past. 326 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:57,840 Speaker 4: What I'm trying to say is what I'm trying to 327 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,160 Speaker 4: say is the whole point is you don't know the 328 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 4: best thing for you to do is get out of it, 329 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 4: because it's not your marriage. If you are actively going 330 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,640 Speaker 4: out with him and actively spending time with him, and 331 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 4: you are developing soon and I'm assuming he works too. 332 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 4: Being you at a part to play in their marriage 333 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 4: being dissolved. What you're supposed to do is respect this 334 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:21,480 Speaker 4: same respected his marriage, respect yourself, and don't put yourself 335 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,520 Speaker 4: in a position that you would not want to be 336 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:26,200 Speaker 4: putting in. We don't know what the dynamic of him 337 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 4: and his wife was. We know is a married man. 338 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 2: Good day, love ya very compelling defense attorney or something? 339 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 2: He's lawyer, very compelling. Uh, Kiara, Hey, now is going 340 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 2: to take another stance on this. Let it Kiara, it's 341 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,240 Speaker 2: a safe place kind of soda. Let's hear it. 342 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 1: I just double advocate. 343 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 3: I ain't left my marriage for a coworker and we've 344 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,800 Speaker 3: been with each other for three years now, so safe. 345 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 1: Back and so but hold on a second. 346 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,560 Speaker 2: I want to be clear that I understand you you 347 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 2: left your marriage because of this man. 348 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, now that. 349 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,400 Speaker 1: I'm glad it's working for you. 350 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 2: But there's gonna be a lot of people listening now 351 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 2: going you essentially and I'm not saying I agree with 352 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,360 Speaker 2: this because I don't really know, but they're saying that 353 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:23,240 Speaker 2: you essentially influenced that breakup. I think that is different 354 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:28,480 Speaker 2: from from meeting somebody who is already prior to you 355 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 2: in something that's broken, where I'm not the reason one. 356 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 8: Okay, yeah, I have left someone when I went, oh 357 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,800 Speaker 8: my god, I'm having feelings for someone else. This is 358 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 8: completely inappropriate. So I have broken up with my boyfriend 359 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 8: because wrong. Being able to get feelings for someone else 360 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 8: means something's missing. 361 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,520 Speaker 2: The key is get out for step one, get out, 362 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,240 Speaker 2: and then step two, don't go find yourself and that 363 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:53,760 Speaker 2: a little friend. 364 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,880 Speaker 1: Six months later, you're hanging out with you know, white. 365 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:56,880 Speaker 1: I hate that kind of thing. 366 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,800 Speaker 6: So were you sleeping or messing with your new man? 367 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:00,680 Speaker 6: You were married? 368 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,440 Speaker 1: No, I was separated, Okay, so you waited until you 369 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 1: were you divorced, not fully divorced. I think separation. I 370 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:15,159 Speaker 1: just want to make sure is good enough. That's a breakup, okay, 371 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:18,360 Speaker 1: if it's he wants his family right. 372 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,800 Speaker 6: I'm sending that you can't pick out the socks at 373 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 6: the funeral until you can take like ten years, like 374 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,359 Speaker 6: Holme Bran and what's her name? And if you go today, 375 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 6: Angelina gonna picked them socks out for the funeral. That's 376 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,640 Speaker 6: why you need to get your paper work clear. 377 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:39,479 Speaker 2: Okay, here, thank you, have a good day. I mean, basically, 378 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:43,960 Speaker 2: it's just a bunch of goes. Everybody saying go Sandy, Hi, Sandy, you. 379 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:49,800 Speaker 10: Say go, yes, go, because I don't think, no matter 380 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,240 Speaker 10: what happens, I think she's getting a taste of what 381 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 10: she puts this guy's wife through. 382 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,520 Speaker 1: But again, I'm sorry. I mean, people can get mad 383 00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 1: at me. 384 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 2: Who is to say that this woman who called our 385 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,680 Speaker 2: show put his wife through anything? Maybe it was over. 386 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,119 Speaker 2: I'm more worried about what he's doing again. You know, 387 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 2: you're repeating himself. That's the problem. 388 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:15,679 Speaker 10: Okay, But when when you have somebody that even if 389 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 10: they were just friends, you know, in a case, got 390 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,119 Speaker 10: for drink and talk stuff over. 391 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:24,240 Speaker 5: Thing, it makes it really easy for that person, for 392 00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:27,719 Speaker 5: that man to just think, well, you know, he's not 393 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 5: putting one hundred percent into marriage. 394 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,159 Speaker 1: That could be true. Yeah, yeah, I hear that. 395 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:36,439 Speaker 10: I know because it happened to me, so I hear. 396 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,480 Speaker 2: Which is why you're got to make me really easy 397 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,200 Speaker 2: to do stuff like this. You've got to make moves right, 398 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:43,280 Speaker 2: You got to do that. You got to make moves 399 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 2: move forward. And then I go get yourself in that 400 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 2: little friend. Six months later, it looks exactly like the 401 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:48,600 Speaker 2: other situation. 402 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 10: She's I think she's getting her karma, and if I 403 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,520 Speaker 10: were her, I would I would get out of it. 404 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,680 Speaker 1: Now before she's hurting hurt even more. 405 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 10: But at least you know she could sit there and think, Jesus, 406 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:04,400 Speaker 10: what you know, I maybe I maybe did this to 407 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:05,200 Speaker 10: his wife. 408 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Sidney, that's the part where we might disagree. 409 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,320 Speaker 2: But thank you, Sidney, because we don't know that part. 410 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 2: But have a great day. I'm so glad you called. 411 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to this. 412 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 1: We don't know. I need to know more about how 413 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,400 Speaker 1: it started, putting. 414 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:20,160 Speaker 8: Their own experiences on this situation, and there's so many 415 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,040 Speaker 8: details that we don't know. 416 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,280 Speaker 1: So I understand if you've been cheated. I've been cheated 417 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,520 Speaker 1: on it. I understand why you'd want to I've had 418 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,800 Speaker 1: people lie to me too, so I get it. But 419 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:28,840 Speaker 1: there's so much we don't know. 420 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,639 Speaker 8: I just don't think life is The problem is a 421 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,439 Speaker 8: friend it will Yes, that's great problem with them. 422 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,520 Speaker 2: Because I'm gonna say this, there is a big difference, 423 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:39,159 Speaker 2: in my opinion, between a person who comes along and 424 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:44,400 Speaker 2: influences a happily married person to leave verse or influences 425 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,639 Speaker 2: them to lean into their you know, lust or fa 426 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:49,159 Speaker 2: that why, Well. 427 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,879 Speaker 1: You're happily married, can you influence someone to leave? But 428 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,719 Speaker 1: if you're But that's one thing. 429 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 2: If you meet someone who's already in a situation where 430 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,440 Speaker 2: it's like, okay, I'm separated, I'm out, this is ending, 431 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,880 Speaker 2: we're dissolving it, and then you meet that, I don't 432 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,960 Speaker 2: think that is I don't think I have to wait 433 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,760 Speaker 2: till the paperwork is like signed. 434 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,000 Speaker 1: I know what you're saying. 435 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,640 Speaker 2: How is that any different than I moved out, I'm done. 436 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:13,160 Speaker 2: It's a lot different because it's in the court room. Yes, 437 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 2: I don't mean no. 438 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,040 Speaker 6: That makes it a say judge, I'm not dating. Nobody 439 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 6: does married period, Like you gotta figure that out. You 440 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,919 Speaker 6: can go get you a divorced down at the Curtesy 441 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,439 Speaker 6: Exchange for as far as I'm concerned. 442 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,000 Speaker 1: But I'm not dating you if you're married. So that's 443 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,119 Speaker 1: just the day you got to stand on business. My 444 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:32,479 Speaker 1: friend O Marion is married and he's getting he's going 445 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:36,720 Speaker 1: through it. Well, that's there is Like Kayla said, nothing's 446 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:42,720 Speaker 1: black and white. There's an asterix to her opinion. This 447 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,240 Speaker 1: is fine print. You gotta read. 448 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,600 Speaker 2: I show up, Shelley, five hundred bucks eighty five five 449 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,400 Speaker 2: five nine one three five Call now and we'll play 450 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 2: next after you on the French Show