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Speaker 1: You can't be her with the habits that betray her.

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Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, Emily A Badi here.

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Speaker 3: You are listening to episode three hundred and sixty five

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Speaker 3: of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where we talk to

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Speaker 3: inspirational people on everything from their highest ties and toughest

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Speaker 3: moments to essential tips on how to live a healthier, happier,

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Speaker 3: more motivated life. We all go through our fair share

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Speaker 3: of hurdles. My goal through these discussions is to empower

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Speaker 3: you to better navigate yours and move with intention so

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Speaker 3: that you can stride towards your own big potential and

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Speaker 3: of course have some fun along the way. For today's discussion,

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Speaker 3: I am very excited to bring you my conversation with

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Speaker 3: Ash Pryor. She's a peloton instructor, seeing her on the

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Speaker 3: rower and today we are, as we say up front,

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Speaker 3: we're key.

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Speaker 2: Keying, as the kids say.

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Speaker 3: In today's chat, she talks to me about rowing in

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Speaker 3: college and what being an athlete has taught her about

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Speaker 3: things like confidence and diligence and strength. We also talk

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Speaker 3: about what it's like for her to live with Hashimotos

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Speaker 3: disease and how it presents in her body and how

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Speaker 3: she has embraced being, as she calls it, in a

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Speaker 3: bigger body, one that recently carried her to the finish

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Speaker 3: line of her first half marathon, a goal that was

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Speaker 3: ten years in the making. Ash get's really open about

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Speaker 3: the challenges that came hand in hand with showing up

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Speaker 3: on such a mega platform like Peloton, and how she

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Speaker 3: navigates unsolicited feedback and criticism with the help of her

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Speaker 3: teammates as well as the people that she chooses.

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Speaker 2: To surround herself with.

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Speaker 3: And we talk about the importance of doing an inventory

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Speaker 3: of your circle and surrounding yourself with people that inspire

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Speaker 3: you to be your best self. There is so much

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Speaker 3: goodness in this episode. Ash has such a powerful energy

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Speaker 3: and aura. She brings light into every room that she

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Speaker 3: walks into, including my studio, and I'm so happy to

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Speaker 3: have the opportunity to share it with you. Make sure

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Speaker 3: you are following along with the show on social It's

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Speaker 3: over at Hurdle Podcast. I myself am over at Emily

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Speaker 3: a Body And if you're not yet subscribed to the

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Speaker 3: weekly Hurdle substack, it comes out every single Friday directly

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Speaker 3: to your inbox, absolutely free. The link to get in

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Speaker 3: on that newsletter bringing you. So much of the same

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Speaker 3: inspiration and motivation you love from the show is in

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Speaker 3: the show notes. With that, let's get to it. Let's

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Speaker 3: get to hurdling.

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Speaker 2: Today.

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Speaker 3: I am sitting down with Ash Pryor. She is an

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Speaker 3: instructor at Peloton.

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Speaker 2: How are we doing today?

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Speaker 1: As this is I'm like all day I cannot wait

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Speaker 1: for this. I'm excited.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I am flattered because we get to kei key.

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Speaker 1: And we really haven't had a chance to do that.

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Speaker 3: No, we need to keep here, we need to key

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Speaker 3: key in the world. Yes, we're doing all the key keying.

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Speaker 3: When did kiki become a word that we used regularly?

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Speaker 3: It feels more recent.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to say the last three years. Okay, the housewives.

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Speaker 3: See I'm not a big housewives, don't do it? Oh

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Speaker 3: are you in on it?

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Speaker 1: I am? But I feel like we're in a stage now.

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Speaker 1: We're moving, we're moving.

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Speaker 3: Out, we're graduating. How do you feel about us graduating

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Speaker 3: from Love Island?

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Speaker 1: Listen, I'm gonna Love Island, Girly, I have a group chat.

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Speaker 2: I get it.

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Speaker 1: I probably would have went to a bar if I

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Speaker 1: knew that they were toasting that here. But I'm glad

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Speaker 1: that it's coming to an end because my sleep. I

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Speaker 1: really was prioritizing going to bed at eight and early

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Speaker 1: wake up calls, and it was really hard to go

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Speaker 1: to bed at ten.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I don't have the bandwidth. I will be like

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Speaker 3: the next morning kind of fan.

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Speaker 1: Well I realized that later on, like through the season,

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Speaker 1: you need to just do that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but.

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Speaker 1: Then I'm just like, can I think through it? But

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Speaker 1: I did watch last night?

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Speaker 2: I did watch last night, did watch last night.

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Speaker 3: Well, I'm happy that you're here with me today, and

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Speaker 3: I also can relate to you on this early to bed,

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Speaker 3: early to rise vibe.

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Speaker 2: You and I share this in comment mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: I'm a rower so by trade, Like it still amazes

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Speaker 1: me at nineteen years old, how I was able to

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Speaker 1: get up at like three forty five in the morning,

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Speaker 1: walk across campus, do the early morning thing class. It's like,

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Speaker 1: it amazes me, but it has stuck with me.

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Speaker 3: Were you always good at getting up early or was

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Speaker 3: this a skill that you acquired when it became demanded

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Speaker 3: of you.

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Speaker 1: No, my mom is an early riser. My mom is

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Speaker 1: early to everything. She just really felt like that was

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Speaker 1: respectful of your time and theirs and you can scope

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Speaker 1: it out and all of that. So I was used

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Speaker 1: to getting up early. But yeah, that was insane. I

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Speaker 1: just can't believe it. But yeah, we would just plan

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Speaker 1: out like Okay, we're all going to meet at this corner,

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Speaker 1: so and so I was going to pick us up,

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Speaker 1: or we'll all meet at this corner and ride the bike.

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Speaker 1: But just seemed natural.

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Speaker 3: And wasn't your first choice sport when you got to college,

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Speaker 3: but it was one that you fell in love with

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Speaker 3: pretty quickly.

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Speaker 2: Talk to me about how you got into rowing.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it's funny though, because I actually wanted to row

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Speaker 1: in high school. It was my junior year and I

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Speaker 1: was playing basketball. We were getting some water and I

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Speaker 1: just heard room room and it was like magic. I

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Speaker 1: can still see it now. They're in this hallway, all

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Speaker 1: lined up, just moving together, just so powerful and strong.

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Speaker 1: And I saw one of my friends. So I asked

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Speaker 1: her the next day, like what is this and she's like,

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Speaker 1: it's rowing. It's crewe like this is what we do. We're,

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Speaker 1: you know, on the Hoover dam. And I told my

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Speaker 1: mom about it. I'm like, I really want to do this.

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Speaker 1: It seems so cool, Like I wasn't going to get

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Speaker 1: recruited at a high level for basketball, and I was

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Speaker 1: playing basketball for a validation from other people, and I

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Speaker 1: just felt like this seemed strong and what I needed.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't get to do it that And then

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Speaker 1: when I was transferring my sophomore year, deciding if I

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Speaker 1: was going to go back to basketball or just become

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Speaker 1: a regular student, someone approached me and was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you look tall and athletic. Have you ever thought about rowing?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, hell yeah, Oh can we say

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Speaker 1: that out here? Okay? I was like, hell yeah, I

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Speaker 1: want to do this. And I call my mom like

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Speaker 1: I'm not playing basketball anymore. I'm going to become a

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Speaker 1: Division one row and She's like, what are you doing

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Speaker 1: with your life? And I was like, let's just go

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Speaker 1: with it. I've always wanted to be a buck eye

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Speaker 1: And that was just such a cool experience. And that's

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Speaker 1: just everything she wrote.

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Speaker 3: I believe you referenced non athletic regular people otherwise norm nars. Yes, yes, yes,

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Speaker 3: I've heard this terminology before. I was a narpege. I leaned,

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Speaker 3: I leaned into the sorority side of things, but I

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Speaker 3: was also one of those unathletic foks.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, you were not unathletic. We don't call it

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Speaker 1: non athletic, but like, it was an interesting transition because

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Speaker 1: my first year of college I played more at like

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Speaker 1: a junior level college and we worked for a technical school.

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Speaker 1: And that was such a gift to be able to

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Speaker 1: do that. And I always loved talking about that because

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Speaker 1: some of us it wasn't that I wasn't smart enough.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why college scared me so much, but

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Speaker 1: I was in the ap classes, the honors classes. You know,

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Speaker 1: I was in leadership all throughout high school. But college

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Speaker 1: seem just kind of I don't know. I just wasn't

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Speaker 1: sure if it was for me or if I could

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Speaker 1: do it. And that first year being able to be

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Speaker 1: a college athlete, being able to be in KIM and

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Speaker 1: survive KIM was like, Oh, I'm smart enough, I can't

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Speaker 1: go to this next level. And then being able to

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Speaker 1: not only go to a house state but then be

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Speaker 1: a Division one athlete when like I thought this was

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Speaker 1: out of the cars for me was such a cool experience.

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Speaker 1: And then to win a Big Ten championship in that

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Speaker 1: first year and then be on scholarship, You're like, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, like I can really do anything I said

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Speaker 1: in my mind too. It may not be in my timeline,

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Speaker 1: but it can happen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds like for you that was a moment

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Speaker 3: that you couldn't have even anticipated of or set a

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Speaker 3: goal to do something like that, because you didn't ever

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Speaker 3: have that modeled for you.

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Speaker 1: No. Yeah, And I think it was also one of

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Speaker 1: the most selfish things I've done. Moving here to New

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Speaker 1: York was the most selfish thing I've ever done. But

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Speaker 1: I needed it and I deserved it. But I think

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Speaker 1: that when I decided I'm going to do growing because

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Speaker 1: I want it, I'm not doing it to prove I'm

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Speaker 1: smart enough, I'm lovable enough, I like come to my games,

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Speaker 1: it was like, no, I know that I can go

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Speaker 1: and do this really hard thing and I want to

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Speaker 1: see what I'm made of, and I'm doing it just

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Speaker 1: for me. Was like releasing so much for me, and

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Speaker 1: I think that's why I've continued with it, not only

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Speaker 1: because it's been so accessible to different abilities, but in

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Speaker 1: the lessons you learned from being on the water and

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Speaker 1: on the RG. But I think because for me it

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Speaker 1: unlocked this sense of I'm no longer trying to prove

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to live. I'm going to exist and

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Speaker 1: I get to have it as mine.

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Speaker 3: Talk to me about that word selfish. It's so interesting

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Speaker 3: that that way.

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Speaker 1: It's and it's that's not even I think the right word.

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Speaker 1: I think in that timing of where we were, you know,

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Speaker 1: it was like early twenty tens, where like anything you

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Speaker 1: didn't do for other people was so selfish and it's not.

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Speaker 1: It was me too, using me for the first time

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Speaker 1: and me saying I don't need my parents or my

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Speaker 1: friends to say that's cool enough.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people were like, actually, what are you doing?

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Speaker 1: Are you like okay? And especially being a black woman,

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Speaker 1: You're going into a room of this very white, waspy

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Speaker 1: elitist sport, and it's like, are you going to be comfortable?

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Speaker 1: But I think in that time I wasn't interested in

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Speaker 1: being comfortable. I was interested to see what I was

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Speaker 1: made of and so I knew and there was so

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Speaker 1: much healing on the water. I love that we move

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Speaker 1: in silence and we trust each other and if you

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Speaker 1: just put in the work, it'll have the results. And

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Speaker 1: I think I enjoyed that. I enjoyed this like team

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Speaker 1: trust and bond. I enjoyed the sounds of the water.

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Speaker 1: I enjoyed understanding how small I was in the world

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Speaker 1: when you're out there in nature. I loved watching the

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Speaker 1: early sunrising and you just sit there in your boat

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Speaker 1: and you're like, there's something bigger in this world than

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Speaker 1: just the things that you want, and how do you

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Speaker 1: become a better human to impact this on a higher level.

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Speaker 1: And so there's a lot of spirituality to it that

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Speaker 1: I really enjoyed.

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Speaker 3: It wasn't about being comfortable, but were you comfortable?

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Speaker 1: No, yeah, no, I don't think anything about especially in

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Speaker 1: that time. No, was not comfortable. But I enjoyed the

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Speaker 1: I think the unraveling that was happening right. I liked

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Speaker 1: the unlocking of my story, the truths that I had

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Speaker 1: to face head on, and during that time. It's why

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Speaker 1: I work green today to represent from mental health. During

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Speaker 1: that time, athletes, that was not something that you talked about.

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Speaker 1: You didn't have, did not go to sports psychologists. That

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Speaker 1: was just starting to happen for athletic departments, and it

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Speaker 1: was really hard. There was a lot to I mean,

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Speaker 1: you're getting weighed in every two days in front of

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Speaker 1: your teammates. Your weight is available for everyone to see.

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Speaker 1: For your power per pound. You know, it's very clear

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Speaker 1: of who needs to go on the diet, who needed

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Speaker 1: to drop weight, and who needed to do X, Y

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Speaker 1: and Z. So there was a lot to balance there

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Speaker 1: on top of me being, you know, one of three

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Speaker 1: black women on a roster of one hundred women international

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Speaker 1: including you might be the first time someone's ever met

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Speaker 1: a woman of color, and how do you not feed

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Speaker 1: into stereotypes that aren't true for your story? But you know,

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Speaker 1: so there's there was a lot of pressure and cultures

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Speaker 1: that you're trying to learn and lean into while falling

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Speaker 1: in love with this sport. But it's also a very

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Speaker 1: unforgiving sport. You know, you're training this hard for maybe

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Speaker 1: ten races. It reminds me of track athletes that are

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Speaker 1: racing for thirteen seconds, you know. But the lesson as

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Speaker 1: I've stepped away from it and gotten older, I realized,

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Speaker 1: like the lessons that I learned from rowing really have

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Speaker 1: disciplined me to be the adult that I am now.

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Speaker 1: And that's why I went back right before I moved

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Speaker 1: to Peloton while I went back to work for that

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Speaker 1: department and work for that team because I wanted to

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Speaker 1: have a seat at the table as a heeled adult

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Speaker 1: to say, here are some of the things that I

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Speaker 1: experience being on this team, and I know that this

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Speaker 1: gives you so much, and I want to make sure

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Speaker 1: I can advocate for everyone on this roster and I

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Speaker 1: can do that as a staff member, And I think

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Speaker 1: that was such a blessing to be able to come

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Speaker 1: back and also demonstrate to those girls into that team

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Speaker 1: and to the staff, like this is what needs to change,

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Speaker 1: and this is also what's great about this.

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Speaker 3: You know, I cannot imagine having to regularly get on

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Speaker 3: a scale as a requirement to do the thing they

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Speaker 3: shifted night.

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Speaker 1: Yes it has shifted, but growing is a you have

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Speaker 1: to be able to. Just because you can pull numbers

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Speaker 1: on land does not mean you can pull the boat right,

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Speaker 1: And so they definitely want to make sure that you

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Speaker 1: can pull your weight. I know things have shifted a

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Speaker 1: lot since then, but yes, imagine every you know, Tuesday, Thursday,

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Speaker 1: your weight is listed with her.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so and that's the thing that gets listed.

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Speaker 3: So it's not even like you can make the conscious

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Speaker 3: decision like Okay, I need to get on the scale

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Speaker 3: because they're requiring need to get on this scale. But

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Speaker 3: like you have to confront that every week, and to

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Speaker 3: be a college aged woman and have to confront that

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Speaker 3: every week, it just seems very dangerous to me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and this is coming.

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Speaker 3: I mean for those of you, many of you know

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Speaker 3: my story and I went through like a massive health

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Speaker 3: transformation in college and I made the conscious choice to

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Speaker 3: get on a scale regularly.

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Speaker 2: But I also have gone through.

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Speaker 3: Times in my life where I didn't want to do

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Speaker 3: that at all. Yeah, So that being an access point

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Speaker 3: to do anything that brought you joy makes me.

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Speaker 2: It makes me sad for some of those guys, And.

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Speaker 1: I think that what and I'm glad that we're in

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Speaker 1: such a healthy place now. It brings me so much

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Speaker 1: joy to see how we have, even from tennis players

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Speaker 1: right who are taking time off for their mental health

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Speaker 1: and coming back and being able to compete. Like in

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Speaker 1: my day, that wasn't a thing. You're done. You're done.

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Speaker 1: If you weren't quote unquote strong enough, you're not strong enough.

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Speaker 1: And so I'm so excited about where we are from

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Speaker 1: a fitness movement, athletic place along with the whole person, right,

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Speaker 1: not just the physicality and how much can you push through,

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Speaker 1: but how can we keep some kind of joy at

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Speaker 1: the center of us accomplishing this thing, not just how

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Speaker 1: much can you endure and suffer and you know, until

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Speaker 1: you have nothing left. It's like, how can you still

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Speaker 1: leave this sport and love it? How can you still

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Speaker 1: do this thing and pivot with it?

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Speaker 3: And you highlighted wearing green today to address highlight the

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Speaker 3: importance of mental health. Talk to me a little bit

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Speaker 3: about how being a college athlete played into your overall

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Speaker 3: mental health and wellbeing.

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Speaker 1: I know that I had a little bit I think

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Speaker 1: of performance anxiety. I also was a first generation college student.

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Speaker 1: So not only I'm performing at one of the highest

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Speaker 1: levels you can in college, and then I have this

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Speaker 1: culture shock, and then I'm the first woman in my

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Speaker 1: family to go to college. Now I'm graduating and I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to figure that out right, And at that time,

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Speaker 1: you didn't really do a fifth year. And now I

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Speaker 1: know it's a lot more common to do that, but

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I have four years to maximize this time,

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Speaker 1: and how do I enjoy this experience? And I didn't

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Speaker 1: have a normal a quote unquote normal college experience, and

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Speaker 1: sometimes I think that messed with me a little bit

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Speaker 1: because I'm like, I didn't really date, I didn't really

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Speaker 1: go out to parties because I was trying to accomplish

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Speaker 1: this goal. Going into grad school, I got to experience

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Speaker 1: some of those things, but I think for me, I

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Speaker 1: felt a little bit delayed. And then because it was

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Speaker 1: the first time that I got to own something, I

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Speaker 1: think I had to face some of the things I

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Speaker 1: experienced when I was younger doing sports for approval, and

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Speaker 1: that was hard to have different conversations. I also went

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Speaker 1: to therapy for the first time, and as a black woman,

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Speaker 1: that was really hard during that time because you didn't

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Speaker 1: really go seek help, you know, you just kind of

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Speaker 1: you live it and you go and you move. And

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Speaker 1: so I think telling my family, Hey, I'm in therapy

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Speaker 1: to figure out this, this and this. I'm so proud

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Speaker 1: of myself for doing that because it allowed me to

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Speaker 1: have a voice that was very sturdy and very clear

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Speaker 1: and very distinctive and unwavering. And I have been willing

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Speaker 1: to walk alone at certain points in life to say

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Speaker 1: I know that this is what is needed if I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be able to be here for the next X,

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Speaker 1: Y and Z, you know, years, or to be able

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Speaker 1: to do the thing that I love.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to hug you now, but I want

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Speaker 3: to hug your younger self, because as you talk about it,

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Speaker 3: it is so clear that there was so much pressure

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Speaker 3: on you during those four years. You made the conscious

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Speaker 3: choice to forego maybe what at one point you considered

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Speaker 3: to be the typical or quote unquote normal college experience

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Speaker 3: in favor of going after these big goals. But in turn,

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Speaker 3: you were also stepping into this place where you didn't

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Speaker 3: see people that looked like you, so the amount of

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Speaker 3: pressure just piling on. I commend you for not only

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Speaker 3: showing up to face that pressure and to face what

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Speaker 3: you needed to face to go after the things that

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Speaker 3: excited you, but then to go back and to model

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Speaker 3: that within that program for the next generation of athletes.

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Speaker 2: It's so beautiful.

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Speaker 1: And during that time, we didn't have social media, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I think that's what was so special about where

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Speaker 1: we are now, because you can access a mentor, you

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Speaker 1: can act someone's story through a podcast, through TV, through

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Speaker 1: a book, but you just didn't have those resources. And

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Speaker 1: that's why for me it's been so important to be

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Speaker 1: vocal about you can learn so much from this sport,

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Speaker 1: from any college sport, right, but there's also always going

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Speaker 1: to be a moment where you're going to hit a wall.

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Speaker 1: For example, there's a college athlete, her and her mom

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Speaker 1: take my classes on peloton and she ended up not

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Speaker 1: passing a fitness test and it can feel like the

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Speaker 1: end of the world, and especially at that age, like

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Speaker 1: that's your responsibility, right, that's your job to quote unquote do.

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Speaker 1: And you know, her mom took my class and was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: can you talk to her? She's just really having a moment.

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Speaker 1: And you know, we hopped on a FaceTime and I

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Speaker 1: was like, listen, this is one test, one test. It

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Speaker 1: didn't turn out the way you want it to be.

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Speaker 1: This is what your coach wants to see from you,

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Speaker 1: is who are you going to be when you don't

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Speaker 1: get everything you want? Who's the teammate you're going to be? Right,

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Speaker 1: you're not a captain, but that doesn't mean you can't

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Speaker 1: be a leader. Right. So just because you didn't hit

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Speaker 1: the standard today, you're going to have to meet this

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Speaker 1: standard again in a week or two weeks from now.

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Speaker 1: What are the little steps you can do starting tomorrow

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Speaker 1: to move towards that goal and to regroup. Feel it today,

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Speaker 1: but don't get stuck here, right, And also know this

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Speaker 1: is one out of one hundred. Don't let the one

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Speaker 1: make you miss all these other things.

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Speaker 3: And that's the problem though in sport today, especially for

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Speaker 3: young women, is maybe something like that will happen, and

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Speaker 3: we need individuals like you to have these conversations because

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Speaker 3: I was part of the statistic that young women drop

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Speaker 3: out of sport at twice the rate of young men.

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Speaker 3: And that's because often we are dissuaded, we're emotional, don't

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Speaker 3: know what's going on. Right, So for her to have

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Speaker 3: you to talk to her straight and to say today

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Speaker 3: it doesn't determine what happens tomorrow. It's your opportunity to

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Speaker 3: frame what happens next that is so special.

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Speaker 1: But I think even to make the comment about emotional,

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Speaker 1: I would reframe it of you have men are allowed

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Speaker 1: to be emotional and women have not been given this

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Speaker 1: space to do that. And then also it goes back

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Speaker 1: to being competitive, right, is like how we weren't even

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Speaker 1: access or allowed to be in sports because they thought

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Speaker 1: our period was going to hinder us from doing things

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Speaker 1: and we're like, we can still rule the world, right,

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Speaker 1: It's and I think for us, we also didn't have mentorship,

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Speaker 1: and for so long women were pitted against each other,

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Speaker 1: that there can only be so many at the top

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Speaker 1: that we didn't learn how to maybe always feel comfortable

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Speaker 1: saying I'm going to reach back down and say I

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Speaker 1: want to bring you with me, right. And I think

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Speaker 1: that's what's so special about Peloton, And I think what

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Speaker 1: has been my mission is I want better. Right. I

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Speaker 1: wonder who I could have been if I would have

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Speaker 1: had one mentor that I could have talked to to

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Speaker 1: say I failed that and I feel like a loser

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Speaker 1: today and for them to say, no, you're not. I

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Speaker 1: can understand why you feel that way, but you're not,

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Speaker 1: and here's why, and here's how we're gonna map this out.

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Speaker 1: And I love being at a place now where I

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Speaker 1: can share in the places where I didn't feel like

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Speaker 1: I excelled and say this is how you can do better,

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Speaker 1: and these are the tools, and I'll be the resource

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Speaker 1: and give you and unlock the tools to be able.

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Speaker 2: To have this if this is what you want, right.

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Speaker 1: And I love being able to do that because through

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Speaker 1: that it heals a little bit of me, you know.

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Speaker 1: I think for a long time I was ashamed to

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Speaker 1: even talk about being a Big ten athlete because I

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Speaker 1: wasn't a part of the national championship team. And it

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Speaker 1: wasn't until one of my mentors who ended up passing away,

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Speaker 1: and she has a big part of me getting into

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Speaker 1: fitness full time. But she would she would always be like,

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Speaker 1: you're our little champion. You're a little champion. And I'd

438
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,919
Speaker 1: be like, I'm not a Nashville. She's like, you're in

439
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 1: the record book, sweetie. No one's right taking that name

440
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 1: away from you. Right, it may not be the big

441
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,359
Speaker 1: stage to what you value, but like, you're in the

442
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,800
Speaker 1: history books. And I think that that reframing is also

443
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,639
Speaker 1: when I bring into not diminishing your light and not

444
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:21,320
Speaker 1: diminishing your accomplishments. Because me being unwilling to be like

445
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 1: I'm a champion, I think really did a disservice to

446
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 1: other people to see themselves because I diminished something that

447
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:35,720
Speaker 1: most people never experience, just because it wasn't a national championship.

448
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:36,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

449
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,919
Speaker 3: The way that you describe the importance of being able

450
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 3: to give back in this really special way, it exemplifies

451
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 3: the lessons that you've learned up until this point, of

452
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,919
Speaker 3: the importance of having grace with yourself, of talking to

453
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 3: yourself with kindness, were these skills that were modeled for

454
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 3: you by coaches, by family members, by mentors. Where did

455
00:21:56,840 --> 00:22:00,880
Speaker 3: you acquire this basic foundation to be able to have

456
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,160
Speaker 3: this much grace with yourself?

457
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:02,640
Speaker 1: Oh?

458
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,680
Speaker 2: It was a lot of work, Yeah.

459
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 1: A lot of work. I read a lot. It's reading.

460
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 1: My brother is a very very positive person and we're

461
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 1: nine years apart. He actually gave me my high school diploma.

462
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 1: But I think he's a teacher and a coach, and

463
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 1: I think just watching him trailblaze in the way that

464
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 1: he has, and I just looked at him and I'm like,

465
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 1: we've both gone through different things in our lives, and

466
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:32,160
Speaker 1: we could have chosen to be really mean people, right,

467
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,919
Speaker 1: we could have poured our pain on other people, and

468
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:39,199
Speaker 1: instead we chose to be a light. And I just

469
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 1: remember looking at him and being like, how do you

470
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 1: do it? You know, like you just you always see

471
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 1: the positive, and so I wanted to be that and

472
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 1: I just kept I was relentless. That's why I named

473
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 1: on my company's relentless and I have it tattooed on me.

474
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 1: Is I was determined to be relentless about being the

475
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 1: best person I could possibly be. I was relentless about

476
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,879
Speaker 1: I did not want the things that I've gone through

477
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 1: to be where I'm stuck, and so I went to therapy.

478
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 1: I made sure that I was hanging around people who

479
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 1: wanted better. When I heard about the whole you are

480
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 1: the sum of the five people you hang around, you know,

481
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:20,399
Speaker 1: I took an inventory and just I also journal crazy,

482
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: and that allows me to just dump everything out, but

483
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,480
Speaker 1: to also evaluate are you being the person you want

484
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,439
Speaker 1: to be? A sticky note in my home is you

485
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:33,439
Speaker 1: can't be her with the habits that betray her. And

486
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 1: I think that that's really been the catalyst for my life,

487
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 1: is this was going to be a lifelong commitment, and

488
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,120
Speaker 1: I was in for it, and I was ready for it,

489
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 1: and I knew the person I wanted to be. And

490
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 1: when I became an auntie, so I have two nieces

491
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 1: and a nephew, and especially when I became an aunt

492
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 1: for the first time and that little girl got a

493
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 1: little bit older and she looked like me, I knew

494
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 1: so that I never wanted her when she looked at

495
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 1: me to feel what I felt. Sometimes when my mom

496
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,680
Speaker 1: would talk poorly about herself, because I'm like, I look

497
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 1: just like you, and you say this, this and this

498
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,640
Speaker 1: and so you have these little what I call God

499
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 1: Went moments that just remind you of the importance of

500
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 1: the work that you're doing. And that was a huge

501
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,479
Speaker 1: one that helped me understand the way in what you

502
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 1: talk about yourself, the way in which you carry yourself,

503
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 1: is going to impact this next group. And whether you

504
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,880
Speaker 1: think that they hear the things you say, they do

505
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 1: and they pick up on it. And I love that

506
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,639
Speaker 1: they know me as like fabulous Aunt Ashley. They've watched

507
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 1: me have breakups and still like achieve, They've watched me

508
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,719
Speaker 1: be in the Hall of Fame. They they've seen all

509
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,720
Speaker 1: these things, and they just know me as strong, they

510
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 1: know me as vulnerable as well. My niece ended up

511
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 1: having some health issues, and you know, I cried along

512
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,160
Speaker 1: with her, you know, while I was feeding her, and

513
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:57,920
Speaker 1: you know, and I would tell her, I'm right here

514
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 1: with you. We're gonna be here together. And so they

515
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 1: also get to see that vulnerability. And I think that

516
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 1: that's really what's been important for me and my healing

517
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: is not just to be strong, but to be tender

518
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: and to be honest, and to be willing to be vulnerable.

519
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: And I think before I saw vulnerability as a weakness

520
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 1: which kept me locked.

521
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 3: And you've been so beautifully vulnerable also about the health

522
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,479
Speaker 3: issues that you've experienced and on your journey with your

523
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 3: own personal health. Talk to me a little bit about

524
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 3: how it felt for you to step onto such a

525
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 3: big stage at Peloton, understanding that you were opening up

526
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 3: about such a personal thing with so many others.

527
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:44,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think what's solidified that I should talk about

528
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 1: It was in my interview process. When I came to

529
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 1: New York and I did my audition, one of the

530
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:56,199
Speaker 1: pas also had hashimotos sees and when I finished, she

531
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 1: was like, thank you for speaking about this. I've never

532
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 1: heard someone in the fitness world talk about having hashimotos.

533
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 1: And it was another God mag moment, like I'm where

534
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be. I know who I am, I'm

535
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:10,440
Speaker 1: secure in it. I'm not afraid of someone making fun

536
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,479
Speaker 1: of me for it because I know the mission is bigger.

537
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 1: And so when I did get the job and I

538
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 1: came on, I was very honest even throughout the whole process.

539
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: Every single person knew I had hashimotos when I interviewed,

540
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 1: because I wanted them to know if you're gonna pick me,

541
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,360
Speaker 1: you're gonna pick me on purpose, and you're gonna pick

542
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 1: me because I'm me, and that this is These are

543
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 1: things that I'm gonna stand for larger body athletes and

544
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 1: understanding that you can be an athlete at any size.

545
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 1: It may look different, we might have to maneuver and

546
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 1: pivot and do different things, but you can still be

547
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 1: at that start line that Hashimotos whoever has a chronic

548
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 1: illness overcoming something, its life's gonna look different, but doesn't

549
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 1: mean that it still can't be great. And then being

550
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,879
Speaker 1: a woman of color, you know, in a very predominantly

551
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 1: white sport and loving it and showing that representation in

552
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 1: my culture. And so I was very honest throughout the

553
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,920
Speaker 1: whole process. But it is scary because I moved here,

554
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 1: like we're still in a pandemic. I had never moved

555
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 1: away from home before. I'm now moving to New York City.

556
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,399
Speaker 1: I know two people in the whole city. I have

557
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 1: to manage a chronic illness in a city that's very

558
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:15,919
Speaker 1: densely populated. It was very scary, very scary time, like

559
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 1: can I handle doing this full time? Can my body

560
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:23,879
Speaker 1: handle it? And it's just been really rewarding to share

561
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: in the obstacles, but also the overcoming. You know, I

562
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 1: just recently ran a half marathon and that is not

563
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 1: something that I thought that I could do, And to

564
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: be able to manage my long runs, and then teaching

565
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 1: classes and the confidence happening from that, and just to

566
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 1: I will never forget the day that I ran ten

567
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: miles on Saturday. The next day, I taught a forty

568
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,919
Speaker 1: five minute intervals in arms class, and then I was

569
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 1: supporting two instructors in each teaching a thirty minute class.

570
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,479
Speaker 1: And I went home and I cried because I was like,

571
00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:00,159
Speaker 1: I have mastered my body at a new level of

572
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: athleticism that I've been waiting to get to, the fact

573
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 1: that I didn't have joint pain, the fact that I

574
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 1: didn't have aching, the fact that I didn't have a migraine.

575
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 1: I was feeding myself a certain way and it was working.

576
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 1: And I was like the fact that I can be

577
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,920
Speaker 1: the teammate, and I can be the athlete that I want,

578
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 1: and I can be the coach. All within forty eight hours.

579
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,120
Speaker 1: It was like an AHA. And I share that so openly,

580
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 1: not to make it about me, but to just remind

581
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 1: someone you will get there. Me running a half marathon

582
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 1: it was ten years in the making. Are you willing

583
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 1: to care that much about a goal that it's going

584
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 1: to take you ten years before you commit it?

585
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 3: And have a goal that has such a strong why,

586
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 3: an intrinsic motivation that you're not relying on external validation

587
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 3: or support necessarily to be the thing that gets you

588
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 3: to that starting line. You had a strongly rooted why

589
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 3: to invest that time over a ten year period to

590
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 3: get there. You said you weren't dealing with migraines, you

591
00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 3: weren't dealing with joint pain.

592
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 2: Is that tipic how this presents for you?

593
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 1: So hashimotives can impact you in a lot of different ways.

594
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 1: So anxiety and depression because of the hormones. So hash

595
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 1: motives is a thyroid condition. Your thyroids in your neck

596
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 1: and it regulates your entire body, so hair loss, mood changes, irritability, inflammation,

597
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 1: joint pain, muscle stiffness for infertility is one of them

598
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 1: that could potentially be impacted. Vision can be impacted, slurred speech.

599
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 1: So I would coach sometimes on the water when I

600
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 1: was coaching youth, and I would have a flare up,

601
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 1: and a lot of times my flare ups would come

602
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 1: in the waves of hair loss, anxiety and depression. Weight

603
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 1: gain was obviously a big one, and then slurred speech,

604
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 1: so there'd be times where, like I an extreme fatigue,

605
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 1: I would have these moments where I'm talking and I

606
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 1: think I'm making sense and I'm not, and or I'm

607
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,800
Speaker 1: sending a message and people are like, what can you

608
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 1: rescind this? Like this doesn't make sense. So for me

609
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:04,719
Speaker 1: to I've gone two years without issues with my speech,

610
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 1: which has been really exciting. I think running the half

611
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 1: marathon was so special to me too, because with Hashimotos,

612
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 1: I was scared that I was not going to be

613
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 1: able to have children, and then when I was twenty one,

614
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 1: I had a CIS rupture at my ovary and so

615
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 1: the combination of those two things were just like, this

616
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 1: is too much. I don't know if I can handle

617
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 1: facing this truth. I have so much love to give I,

618
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 1: you know, I just really want to be able to

619
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 1: have a child one day. And when I walked myself

620
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 1: and ran sexy paced myself through that half marathon, it

621
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 1: was this unlock of like nothing can hold you back,

622
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 1: nothing is going to break you. It will seem daunting

623
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 1: and hard and impossible until you do it, and then

624
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 1: you have a community people who will never let you

625
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: touch the ground right, And to now be in a

626
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 1: place where like, I'm now going to freeze my eggs

627
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 1: and I am going to be able to have these eggs,

628
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 1: and this thing that really kept me wondering, like can

629
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 1: I experience womanhood the way that I want to. Being

630
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 1: able to move and have that medicine allowed me to go, Okay,

631
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 1: whether it's a no, or it's a yes, or it's

632
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 1: a maybe, I'm now ready for those answers. And I

633
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 1: think that's what's also important about fitness and competing and

634
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 1: having teammates and sharing your story is it gives you

635
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 1: a certain strength to say I'm gonna do it, you know.

636
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 1: And I've met so many cancer survivors, other folks with

637
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,959
Speaker 1: immune disorders who are now out here doing amazing things

638
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 1: because they were like I saw that you could do it.

639
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 1: They get to see someone who's like, I refuse to

640
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 1: be small. I refuse. I've spent too much of my

641
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 1: life doing that, and I deserve to have the most

642
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 1: beautiful life. And that starts with me loving myself on

643
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: wavering and I'm gonna wear that crop top and me

644
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 1: and Tina tell me we're gonna be out here doing

645
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 1: our thing, that thy Meat's gonna be hanging out them shorts.

646
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 1: And if that's what I feel like doing, that's what

647
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 1: I feel like doing. And I think that's what's been

648
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 1: really freeing for me, is to be in a place

649
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: where I can go I don't have joint pain today,

650
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 1: and that's a win, you know, Like living with hashimotos,

651
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 1: every day is a check in. Every moment is a

652
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 1: check in, you know, And that's mentally exhausting, even from

653
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 1: the fact that I'm gluten free, Like you know, it's

654
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 1: hard to go out to eat with friends and you're

655
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 1: constantly like the annoying friend double checking everything because you're like,

656
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 1: I don't think you understand this pain, Like the pain

657
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 1: that can happen. It is triggering, you know, Like even

658
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 1: right now talking about it, I can like visibly like

659
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 1: see myself tensing, like just thinking about the amount of

660
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 1: pain and how long that's gonna last, and it's just

661
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 1: not worth it. Yeah, And so I think through how shimotoves,

662
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 1: I've learned to master myself and be aware because it's

663
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 1: like I have to if I want a certain quality

664
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 1: of life.

665
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:02,760
Speaker 3: Taking a break from today's episode to give some love

666
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,600
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667
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668
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669
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691
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692
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693
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694
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696
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697
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698
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699
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700
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701
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:21,440
Speaker 2: For my body.

702
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:25,399
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703
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,800
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704
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705
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706
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710
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712
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Speaker 3: link is drink a g one dot com slash hurdle.

714
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, and thank you for sharing that with me.

715
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:17,400
Speaker 3: It's a little like flag went up in my brain

716
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:19,839
Speaker 3: when you said an obviously weight gain.

717
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

718
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 3: I think the reason the flag went up is because

719
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 3: the way that you speak about yourself as an athlete

720
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:32,400
Speaker 3: is so beautiful and I wouldn't think it would be

721
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 3: the word obviously as a caveat there. Yeah, but you

722
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 3: I was surprised that you you did that.

723
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:39,840
Speaker 1: Yeah.

724
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 3: When did the weight gain become something that felt like

725
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:45,440
Speaker 3: it was beyond your control?

726
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,919
Speaker 1: I don't think that it's beyond my control. I think

727
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:52,880
Speaker 1: that people love comparing people's bodies and it's something that

728
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:56,280
Speaker 1: we need to get past. Is like I might be heavier,

729
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 1: but this body got me to being a half marathon,

730
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:02,239
Speaker 1: or this body got me to being a polities instructor.

731
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 1: This body got me to living my dream and helping

732
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 1: people learn how to row, you know, like, I am

733
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 1: so grateful for this body and the confidence of my

734
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 1: mind in this body. Right this, I feel sexy as

735
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:19,120
Speaker 1: hell in this body, and sexy is not a word

736
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 1: that I would really ever have thought I would use,

737
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:24,799
Speaker 1: you know, Like I've had the four pack and the

738
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 1: v kuts, and I've been really small and really toned,

739
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,360
Speaker 1: and I have done all that, and I still would

740
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 1: never have worn the things that I'm wearing or consistently

741
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: had the confidence to walk into rooms that way. And

742
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:40,319
Speaker 1: so I think for me, I subconsciously saw said that

743
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:44,359
Speaker 1: because I think people love to point out like, oh,

744
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,360
Speaker 1: well you looks like this in this photo and you okay,

745
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 1: and life happened like and it doesn't take I think

746
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 1: for me too, as a larger body athlete, there is

747
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 1: this sense of I love it when people look at

748
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 1: me and they're like, oh, she's going to be easier, right,

749
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: because there's the subconscious of like who's qualified, right, and

750
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:07,319
Speaker 1: they get in there and they're like, holy mully, like

751
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 1: this girl is talking, she's rown out of thirty two,

752
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 1: and she's pulling really hard. And so for me, I

753
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 1: think I like to talk about the elephant in the room,

754
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 1: because I know what it's like to walk in and

755
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:24,359
Speaker 1: people don't assume that I'm the fitness instructor, you know,

756
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 1: or that I'm smart enough. And if I was smart enough,

757
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 1: then I wouldn't look like this. If I was actually

758
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 1: good at being a personal trainer, I wouldn't look like this.

759
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 1: And I think that it goes back to one of

760
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 1: your earlier questions about fitness in what people's journey and

761
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 1: athleticism doesn't all look the same, you know, like I

762
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 1: don't talk about weight in my classes, I don't talk

763
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 1: about losing weight in my classes or really on my

764
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:50,800
Speaker 1: platform because of the fact that everyone has a journey

765
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 1: and they're allowed to be on whatever journey they want.

766
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,239
Speaker 1: And sometimes people just need to save space to just

767
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 1: say I want to exist. I want to exist and

768
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 1: be the best that I possibly can be. I love

769
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 1: that whether I'm smaller or I'm bigger, I'm here owning

770
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,719
Speaker 1: it and I'm having the time of my life doing

771
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 1: that and I'm healthy doing that.

772
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that above all else is obviously the most

773
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 3: important part for you as you stepped into this light

774
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 3: with so many people having an opinion.

775
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 2: On how you look.

776
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 3: How were you able to claim your space and claim

777
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:29,440
Speaker 3: the boundaries that you required so that you could safeguard

778
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:30,360
Speaker 3: your mental health.

779
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 1: So one of the quotes, it's Audrey Lauren and she's

780
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 1: one of my favorite poets, is you can't diminish me

781
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 1: by anything that I've accepted about myself. And I live

782
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 1: by that.

783
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 2: Right.

784
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 1: If I've accepted that I understand that I have a

785
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 1: little bit of a tummy, if I understand that I'm

786
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 1: very honest with who I am. I look at myself

787
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,279
Speaker 1: in the mirror every single day because one of my

788
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:54,799
Speaker 1: things that I will never hide, right, I look at

789
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 1: myself in the mirror, naked, underwear, whatever, and I make

790
00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 1: sure that I say something that I love about myself.

791
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:01,279
Speaker 1: I love the fact that I have air in my

792
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 1: lungs today and that my body is moving the way

793
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 1: that I would love it to move in order to

794
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,880
Speaker 1: accomplish the goals that I have ahead. And some days

795
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 1: it's not always positive, and sometimes those negative comments do

796
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 1: hit you in vulnerable points where you're trying to, like,

797
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: you know, figure things out. But ultimately, my why is

798
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:23,319
Speaker 1: bigger than that one mean comment, and I love when

799
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 1: I get the messages I'm coming to the studio for

800
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,080
Speaker 1: the first time and I'm wearing a sports brawl or

801
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 1: I'm wearing shorts, right, And I think that's why it's

802
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 1: also important to have larger body trainers at the table,

803
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 1: because we can coach not only our colleagues, but we

804
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 1: can coach the athletes to understand the mental and emotional

805
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 1: blocks to whatever. So, for example, a burbie, Right, if

806
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:50,439
Speaker 1: we're doing a burbie, a larger body person isn't afraid

807
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 1: of that burbie just for the motion of it. It's

808
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:55,320
Speaker 1: the jumping up and down and the moving of our bodies.

809
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:58,439
Speaker 1: And if we have a larger chest that portion, it's

810
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 1: the landing. Is it going to make too much noise

811
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:03,400
Speaker 1: and someone's gonna say something about it? It's our body

812
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: is hitting the ground and then getting back up. It's

813
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 1: not just about can I physically perform this? It's are

814
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:14,399
Speaker 1: people going to make fun of me in this movement? Right?

815
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 1: And so maybe I don't even want to try it.

816
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't want to run on that treadmill because

817
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 1: someone's going to make fun of how hard my feet

818
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 1: are landing, or you know, how hard I'm breathing, or

819
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 1: how much I'm sweating, and so I think having knowing

820
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 1: that it's important that I persevere because I don't really

821
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,399
Speaker 1: have the luxury to not be there. There's such few

822
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 1: opportunities to have a voice at the table as a

823
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 1: larger body trainer, that that is more important than I

824
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:46,799
Speaker 1: continue to persevere and I continue to show up, than

825
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 1: to let that person stop me because they didn't like

826
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 1: that I sweat as a woman, you know, like, I'm sorry,

827
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 1: I sparkle, It's fantastic. I'm working hard out here.

828
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:57,319
Speaker 2: When was the last time you let it get to you.

829
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:03,719
Speaker 1: I'm always going to feel it, but I don't let

830
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 1: it seep in. And I think there's a difference. I'm

831
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 1: gonna feel it because I'm human, and I think I

832
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 1: need to feel it because I need to remain checked

833
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 1: into Yeah, what I'm saying is important and you need

834
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 1: to keep saying it right. But I don't let it

835
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,719
Speaker 1: stop the momentum, if that makes sense.

836
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:23,440
Speaker 2: It makes sense.

837
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 3: Of course you feel it because, like you said, you

838
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:29,400
Speaker 3: are human, Like it would be bizarre if you weren't

839
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 3: seeing people have input on something that has nothing to

840
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,400
Speaker 3: do with them and not have something to say in return,

841
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 3: or not have a feeling to experience in return.

842
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's hard when you're like I feel beautiful.

843
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 1: I don't know. I love the person I am. I

844
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 1: love you know. Even today, I was looking in the

845
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 1: mirror while I was talking to my friend on FaceTime,

846
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 1: and I'm like, wow, it just looks so beautiful today.

847
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,279
Speaker 1: Oh if you look beautiful every day, Like what are

848
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 1: you talking about? And like we had this whole conversation

849
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 1: about like, yeah, why do I feel like I look

850
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 1: more beautiful than I have in the last couple of

851
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 1: days or you know whatever. But I think when I

852
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,479
Speaker 1: see those comments, I feel more pity for the people

853
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 1: who are still stuck more than I let it deteriorate

854
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 1: who I am. Yeah, And I think I use it

855
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:16,319
Speaker 1: as fuel to say I'm so glad I don't live

856
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 1: in that space. I'm so glad that I keep anything

857
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:25,640
Speaker 1: negative in my group chat where it doesn't hurt anyone else, right,

858
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:28,879
Speaker 1: Or I'm glad that I even checked myself. Sometimes I'll

859
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:30,720
Speaker 1: think something and I'm like, you don't know that person,

860
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,439
Speaker 1: you don't know, you know, you don't reserve the right

861
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: to put that on them, like let it go, you know.

862
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 1: And I think that it's always just a mirror of

863
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 1: like how far I've come from myself and loving who

864
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 1: I am. I love the mentality I have. I love

865
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 1: my ability to, you know, keep moving forward if I stumble,

866
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 1: to get back up and reroute. And I think when

867
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,080
Speaker 1: you learn how to do that for yourself, you just

868
00:43:56,719 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, you suck. I'm gonna go cry while

869
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,359
Speaker 1: I run about it and then get over it.

870
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 2: You know, it's a both and right.

871
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 3: You can have that moment where you're crying while you run,

872
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,160
Speaker 3: and you can then also be able to say all

873
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 3: these really beautiful things about yourself. This is like a

874
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:13,920
Speaker 3: masterclass in getting to a place where you can compliment

875
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 3: yourself about the one hundred percent.

876
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:18,240
Speaker 1: And I think, like the sixty five year old woman

877
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: who's going to email me or message me and DM

878
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 1: me and say you reminded me that I still have

879
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 1: life left and like don't waste it, Like, yeah, I

880
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:30,040
Speaker 1: wish I would have known and seen someone like you sooner,

881
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 1: but I still have so much that is always going

882
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 1: to win over the person that says you look like

883
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:39,720
Speaker 1: you eat fifteen cheeseburgers. Bro, I don't care, you know, because

884
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:43,279
Speaker 1: I know the truth about me so you can never

885
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 1: diminish me. Right, my resume and my actions prove what

886
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 1: I'm doing, and that's going to always speak louder. I

887
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 1: don't need to answer you for that. Right, you don't

888
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:54,719
Speaker 1: put a check for me. You're not in the way

889
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 1: for me. If that made you feel better, kudos. But

890
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,080
Speaker 1: my mission and what I'm trying to do is work

891
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:03,439
Speaker 1: over here, and I can't be for everybody, or I'll

892
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 1: be for nobody. So I'm okay for that. I'm okay

893
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 1: with that. I'm okay that I'm not your person. Go

894
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:09,359
Speaker 1: find something else.

895
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:12,800
Speaker 3: Also, the friend that's on FaceTime talk about the epitome

896
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:14,839
Speaker 3: of like I'm doing inventory of the people that I'm

897
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:15,839
Speaker 3: surrounding myself with.

898
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 2: You're like, yeah, this is a good one. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

899
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,160
Speaker 1: She was like watching me put my face together, and

900
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 1: she's like the whole time, I'm just taking note.

901
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:25,359
Speaker 3: I'm just saying, well, I need to watch you put

902
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 3: your face together.

903
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 2: And also and also make some notes.

904
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:32,359
Speaker 3: You mentioned recently crossing that half marathon off your bucket list.

905
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:35,399
Speaker 3: Talk to me about how it felt for you when

906
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 3: you crossed the finish line.

907
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 1: Oh man, that's going to be like a top five memory.

908
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:46,799
Speaker 1: I think it feels just as an AHA moment when

909
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 1: we crossed the finish line, got bronze at Big Tens

910
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 1: and then won the Big Ten Champion as a team.

911
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 1: Was just the catalyst for the half was my niece

912
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 1: had gotten really sick. I had to take a week

913
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 1: off from work, flew home, was with my family, and

914
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 1: she was going to have a hard battle moving forward.

915
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:07,720
Speaker 1: And as someone who has hashimotos and a chronic illness,

916
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 1: I just was like, I'm going to show her we

917
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 1: can be strong. I'm going to show her that regardless

918
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 1: of where we're gonna wherever, this is leading that for

919
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 1: both of them, right, And my nephew is very young,

920
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,319
Speaker 1: so he doesn't get all of it, but I said,

921
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 1: for both of them, I'm going to run this for

922
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 1: them that we accomplish goals, we reroute. Things might look

923
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 1: difficult for us, it might be a little bit different,

924
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 1: but it's not impossible. So that was my catalyst for like, okay,

925
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:36,840
Speaker 1: and then I realized it was ten years since I

926
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:40,480
Speaker 1: had said I would do this from grad school, so

927
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 1: it was just really this goodbye and hello moment of

928
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 1: you can be a leader. And then I wrote this

929
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 1: in Tunday's newsletter. I actually hope someone cross the finish line,

930
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 1: and I never thought that that was going to happen

931
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:57,319
Speaker 1: because I'm a sexy pacer and I'm like, I'm just

932
00:46:57,400 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 1: running my little, cute little race. I just I just

933
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 1: went across the finish line. I don't care about time.

934
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,239
Speaker 1: And it taught me so much about my ego in

935
00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:07,840
Speaker 1: that because that was scary to tell people I was

936
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 1: doing this. I thought I was gonna be ridiculed, made

937
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 1: fun of, and I just had to prepare myself. But

938
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:15,240
Speaker 1: I was chasing down this girl. Her name was Amy,

939
00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:17,360
Speaker 1: and she was like my little pacer. I was like,

940
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 1: if I get up to Amy, like I've been doing good,

941
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,359
Speaker 1: let me just keep staying same focus. And I learned

942
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 1: her name because eventually I would catch up with her

943
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,279
Speaker 1: and she wasn't sure she could finish, and I was like, oh,

944
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 1: hell no, Amy, we are crossing this line together. And

945
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 1: you know, we did a run walk interval and I

946
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 1: just I turned into coach mode. I was like, all right,

947
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 1: we're going to that light right there. We're gonna pick

948
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,360
Speaker 1: it up. Now, we're gonna walk, take some deep breaths,

949
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 1: We're going to take it back up to that next cone,

950
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:46,360
Speaker 1: Da da da, and it just like snapped me into

951
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:50,560
Speaker 1: understanding you lead anywhere you are, and it doesn't matter

952
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: if you're a peloton instructor, you're a local instructor. You know,

953
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:57,759
Speaker 1: you're trying to change careers, you're doing whatever. Nothing is

954
00:47:57,800 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 1: too small to make an impact when you show up

955
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,759
Speaker 1: as yoursel and you're willing to be open and we're

956
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:03,719
Speaker 1: like running and she's like.

957
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 2: Who are you?

958
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:07,480
Speaker 1: Like you are She's like, I'm gonna have to get

959
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:10,520
Speaker 1: your number after this, Like you're she's like, you know,

960
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 1: just so amazed at me, just being like, no Amy,

961
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:16,279
Speaker 1: we're gonna do this together, like I've been hutting you down. Girl,

962
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:19,520
Speaker 1: We're finishing, and we did, and there's a beautiful photo

963
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 1: of us together. I mean, I'll get the end. And

964
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 1: it just reminded me like, don't be ashamed of where

965
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:30,719
Speaker 1: you're starting, and don't be ashamed to let people in

966
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:34,799
Speaker 1: on your journey, because for so long I was not

967
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:36,840
Speaker 1: going to tell anyone. I literally was going to just

968
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,840
Speaker 1: show up in all black a hat on, tell no

969
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 1: one I was doing this and then just like go

970
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 1: back to work, and probably about two weeks out, one

971
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 1: of the instructors is like, you need to let your

972
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:53,800
Speaker 1: community show up for you. You're gonna be surprised the amount

973
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:57,160
Speaker 1: of people that want to see you when and I

974
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 1: was like, I don't really know, Like I kind of

975
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 1: feel bad because I struggle with not wanting to perpetuate

976
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:07,720
Speaker 1: stereotypes of larger people being slow, but I also want

977
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:13,760
Speaker 1: to encourage people to just try. And I was like, listen,

978
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 1: I just got to be honest with my journey and

979
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 1: who I am, and like, I'm just trying. I'm trying

980
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 1: my best, and I'm amazed that my body can do

981
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:25,959
Speaker 1: this with joint pain like I with not having joint

982
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,840
Speaker 1: pain and being able to let me see. So I

983
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 1: did it, and it really unlocked to me that radical honesty.

984
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:38,759
Speaker 1: Let your people show up for you, let them say

985
00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:41,439
Speaker 1: no if they can't, but don't you say no to them,

986
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 1: and that you will through being honest, through being yourself,

987
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 1: through doing whatever, there will be people who will be inspired,

988
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 1: who will sign up for their first race, who will

989
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 1: accomplish that goal and they don't care like someone could

990
00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:02,759
Speaker 1: have ran marathon for how long it took me to

991
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 1: run that half, But that's not my business.

992
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:06,520
Speaker 2: It's not your business.

993
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 3: And it's so beautiful to get to this place where

994
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 3: you recognize the beauty in being this example, right, in

995
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:18,200
Speaker 3: being someone now who opened the doors for them to

996
00:50:18,239 --> 00:50:20,600
Speaker 3: show up for you, because that's going to model that

997
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 3: behavior for someone else who maybe was scared to even

998
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:26,239
Speaker 3: just tell, like their friends, something that they are going through.

999
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 3: It doesn't need to be to a community almost one

1000
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 3: hundred thousand people in your case, right or of course

1001
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:35,360
Speaker 3: much bigger than that when we think about the Peloton membership.

1002
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:35,399
Speaker 2: As a whole.

1003
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:39,400
Speaker 3: But it is such an opportunity to allow people to

1004
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:41,239
Speaker 3: say I want to be there for you. Yeah, And

1005
00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:44,359
Speaker 3: it's hard because it's scary, it is, but.

1006
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 1: It's been really beautiful. And that's why when I, you know,

1007
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 1: I told I've been telling them on social like I'm

1008
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 1: completing the bucket list? Why am I waiting? You know?

1009
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:57,000
Speaker 1: And so this really has been complete the bucket list items.

1010
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,839
Speaker 1: And what I learned is to peel back another layer

1011
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:02,759
Speaker 1: of that onion for me. And when I was like, Hey,

1012
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go get certified in pilates one, I need

1013
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:08,799
Speaker 1: CUS for my certification and I've always wanted to do this.

1014
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:11,680
Speaker 1: I've been doing PLATE since I was a teenager and

1015
00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 1: I brought everyone along on social for the whole experience,

1016
00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:19,120
Speaker 1: and that was very scary, but I was like, I

1017
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 1: learned this from waiting until the end to share this experience.

1018
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 1: Let me show you what it looks like to still

1019
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:28,320
Speaker 1: be a learner of my craft. Let me show you

1020
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:31,319
Speaker 1: what it looks like to reconnect with yourself. And it

1021
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 1: was like almost a look at me now, baby, ash,

1022
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 1: like I'm doing all the things we always dreamed of

1023
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 1: but never knew we could, you know, like this aha

1024
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 1: moment of like, wait, now I'm the girl that was

1025
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:44,360
Speaker 1: on the TV that you used to watch the VHS

1026
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:47,359
Speaker 1: is on you know, like you are her now and

1027
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 1: that seemed so unobtainable being from Ohio and being from

1028
00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:55,879
Speaker 1: where I'm at, not that you couldn't. I just think

1029
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:58,480
Speaker 1: of the time too, and it amazes me that, like,

1030
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:02,440
Speaker 1: as a woman from Ohio, that I was able to

1031
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:05,040
Speaker 1: do this. And it was just so beautiful to go

1032
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 1: back and run it in my hometown just to say, like,

1033
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:10,840
Speaker 1: I will always have love for how this place built me.

1034
00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 1: I'm also excited about where I've created a new home

1035
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:16,959
Speaker 1: and I'm excited to dive into what.

1036
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 3: That looks like Yeah, it's so beautiful, not only hearing

1037
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:22,720
Speaker 3: about the victories for you within crossing that half marathon

1038
00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:26,200
Speaker 3: finish line, but also this Pilates certification. I know, I

1039
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:28,440
Speaker 3: saw you get in that certification and I was like, damn,

1040
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 3: my abs feel weak just.

1041
00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 2: Just looking at you.

1042
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:35,399
Speaker 3: I'm like, Oh, Okay, gotta get on that, Mets, gotta

1043
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:35,880
Speaker 3: get on that.

1044
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 2: Mat.

1045
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:40,880
Speaker 3: I am so inspired by you, and I also think

1046
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:46,759
Speaker 3: that it is so cool to see you integrating these

1047
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:49,880
Speaker 3: habits that you know are critical to quote unquote being

1048
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:51,360
Speaker 3: her as.

1049
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 2: You go about your day to day.

1050
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:55,880
Speaker 3: You talked about the journaling, and you talked about being

1051
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 3: very vocal when you look in the mirror. What are

1052
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:00,759
Speaker 3: some of the other high bits that are part of

1053
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:03,719
Speaker 3: your regular routine that you think contribute to helping you

1054
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:06,560
Speaker 3: be in this really healthy place within body and mind.

1055
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:11,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think to your space. This is gonna sound silly,

1056
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:16,160
Speaker 1: but it's not like your physical space also impacts your routine.

1057
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:22,520
Speaker 1: And so I have been so focused on systems and

1058
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:25,319
Speaker 1: making sure I know where things are going to be.

1059
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:27,400
Speaker 1: I have a rule of like a ten to fifteen

1060
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:30,200
Speaker 1: minute house, which means if my friend called me and

1061
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:31,879
Speaker 1: said I have a crisis, I need to come over.

1062
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:34,440
Speaker 1: I only need fifteen ten minutes to clean it up.

1063
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:39,040
Speaker 3: Like, never have I heard sorry, no, never, never have

1064
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:39,840
Speaker 3: I heard about.

1065
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm the ten minute house, and I think goals.

1066
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:46,760
Speaker 2: I'm like, shoot, I know somebody's.

1067
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:48,279
Speaker 1: Mad at you with this right now. But and I

1068
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:50,080
Speaker 1: talked to my brother about this. I was like, there's

1069
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:54,080
Speaker 1: just certain things that I wanted to make sure that

1070
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:56,719
Speaker 1: I could be hurt. I think too, when we think

1071
00:53:56,760 --> 00:54:00,720
Speaker 1: about wellness, there's ten dimensions of wellness, but of it too.

1072
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 1: When I moved here, Holistically, I think what I did

1073
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:05,600
Speaker 1: is I cleaned up a lot of things. When I

1074
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:07,560
Speaker 1: moved here. The first thing I did was retire my mom,

1075
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:11,239
Speaker 1: and then I made sure that on my grind to

1076
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 1: being this, you know, we had different types of debt.

1077
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:17,719
Speaker 1: We cleaned that up. Those little changes all helped me

1078
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:20,040
Speaker 1: to be more confident. This was the first time we

1079
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:22,880
Speaker 1: moved away from home. I'm moving to a big city.

1080
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 1: It was very scary. I learned how to ride the subway,

1081
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:28,359
Speaker 1: which I shared on social media. I just found all

1082
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:32,640
Speaker 1: these different avenues of trying the things and doing it afraid.

1083
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 1: How do I show up to events by myself and

1084
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:38,200
Speaker 1: really focus on showing up to things by myself and

1085
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:40,320
Speaker 1: know that I can own a room and make friends,

1086
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 1: and that builds my confidence being able to wear the

1087
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 1: outfit and creating the moment. I don't have to wait

1088
00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:48,120
Speaker 1: for a fancy moment. Even coming in here today I

1089
00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:50,720
Speaker 1: wanted to wear. I was like, I might be over dressed,

1090
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:53,400
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna create the moment because I am the moment,

1091
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:56,160
Speaker 1: you know. And I think that once you start to

1092
00:54:57,719 --> 00:55:02,640
Speaker 1: let that go in that it's just built confidence for me.

1093
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 1: And I think I also am very honest on the

1094
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:07,799
Speaker 1: times that I'm sad and the times that I'm frustrated.

1095
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:10,680
Speaker 1: It's to what we talked about is the d There

1096
00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:12,719
Speaker 1: are times where I am sad, but I still have

1097
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:15,840
Speaker 1: to show up for something else. And I think, being honest,

1098
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,880
Speaker 1: I've had times where I've taught in class and I'm like, guys,

1099
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:22,399
Speaker 1: I'm just not the one hundred percent I have today

1100
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 1: is fifty. And if you're in that boat with me,

1101
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:27,680
Speaker 1: let's hop on and let's do what we gotta do

1102
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:30,560
Speaker 1: and we're gonna feel better. But like, this is where

1103
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 1: I'm at right now.

1104
00:55:31,239 --> 00:55:32,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, But how good is it though?

1105
00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 3: To have that special reframe where you recognize that you

1106
00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:41,600
Speaker 3: have the opportunity to give one hundred of fifty yes.

1107
00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:45,719
Speaker 1: But I think that it's reciprocal, right. The community has helped.

1108
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:46,960
Speaker 3: Me.

1109
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:51,000
Speaker 1: The community, all the community, the instructors, the people that

1110
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:53,719
Speaker 1: I've met outside of here, my family from home, my

1111
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:57,479
Speaker 1: chosen family, Like all the people in my life are

1112
00:55:57,520 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 1: all I'm so blessed. They are all people like that.

1113
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:04,359
Speaker 1: They're all people who are working to be the best,

1114
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,720
Speaker 1: who are willing to take the feedback, who are willing

1115
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:10,240
Speaker 1: you know. I was joking with my best friend at home,

1116
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:12,759
Speaker 1: like she was having a moment, and I was like,

1117
00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:15,040
Speaker 1: can I give you the real real or do you

1118
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 1: want me to disagree with you? And she's like, no,

1119
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:19,440
Speaker 1: I want the real real And I mean I da

1120
00:56:19,520 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 1: da da dada da right, And I we kiky it

1121
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,319
Speaker 1: about it and we laughed and she's like, no, you're

1122
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:26,759
Speaker 1: right about this or that. And I said, you know,

1123
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:30,480
Speaker 1: this isn't normal, right. Majority of people can't have the

1124
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:32,960
Speaker 1: level of honesty that we just had with each other

1125
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:37,960
Speaker 1: and still be okay. And that's why I think it's important.

1126
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 1: I don't have yes people around me. I have people

1127
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:42,239
Speaker 1: that go on, we're not doing that today and if

1128
00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 1: you want to do that, go play with somebody else, because.

1129
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:46,120
Speaker 3: You're not doing that over here again, reflection of the

1130
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:49,160
Speaker 3: people that you surround yourself with, right, yeah, yeah.

1131
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 1: I mean even from the simple I was talking to

1132
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:53,640
Speaker 1: one of my colleagues and I was like, I don't

1133
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:55,520
Speaker 1: know if I'll ever have a home, or if I'll

1134
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:57,879
Speaker 1: ever own a home. I just seem so far off.

1135
00:56:57,880 --> 00:57:00,080
Speaker 1: And she was like, you can have it if you want.

1136
00:56:59,880 --> 00:57:02,880
Speaker 2: It, girl. I was literally at Kristin's house yesterday, like

1137
00:57:04,040 --> 00:57:04,880
Speaker 2: I looked at her and.

1138
00:57:04,840 --> 00:57:06,680
Speaker 3: I was like, this is so beyond my ida, and

1139
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:08,040
Speaker 3: she goes, well, do you want it?

1140
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 2: I go, I don't even know if I aspire, but I.

1141
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,520
Speaker 1: Think that you can only achieve to the dreams that

1142
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 1: you dream it, right, So if I don't, if I

1143
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:21,280
Speaker 1: don't put forth that effort towards that thing, then yeah,

1144
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 1: it's gonna seem impossible. And I think that's the whole

1145
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:28,720
Speaker 1: point is to show people there's nothing I'm not going

1146
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:31,800
Speaker 1: to qualify for every half marathon right based on my time,

1147
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 1: and that's okay, but that doesn't mean that I still

1148
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 1: can't try to do a half marathon with other places.

1149
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:39,320
Speaker 1: So yeah, I love that I have people around me

1150
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:40,800
Speaker 1: that are like, well, are you even trying to work

1151
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:43,560
Speaker 1: on it? And you're like, oh, wait a minute, Yeah,

1152
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:46,960
Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting that gut check today. But I love that.

1153
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:51,280
Speaker 1: And I think when you choose to watch movies that

1154
00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:55,040
Speaker 1: are gonna allow you to critically think, When you listen

1155
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 1: to masterclasses, when you listen to podcasts, however, you are

1156
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:01,360
Speaker 1: feeding your mind and your spirit is going to subconsciously

1157
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,440
Speaker 1: impact you. And there are times where like, there are

1158
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:06,280
Speaker 1: certain movies that come out and it might be popular,

1159
00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 1: and I'm like, my spirit can't handle that. I'm not

1160
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,840
Speaker 1: doing that. I can't I can't mess with you in

1161
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:13,720
Speaker 1: that way.

1162
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,680
Speaker 3: This might be my last season of Love Island watching,

1163
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:18,280
Speaker 3: but it started to crush my beer.

1164
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:21,560
Speaker 1: But I yeah, I just I think that there are

1165
00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:25,480
Speaker 1: that's my like mental checkout show for sure. But I

1166
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:30,680
Speaker 1: I yeah, I think I'm just very intentional about I'm

1167
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:34,120
Speaker 1: always willing to start over, if that makes sense. I

1168
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:36,200
Speaker 1: know that I'm gonna always have a moment where like,

1169
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 1: I'm not perfect at everything. Maybe you know, I got

1170
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 1: really disappointed by something and it might take me a

1171
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:48,360
Speaker 1: week to come back, but then it's like listen, enough's enough.

1172
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:51,959
Speaker 1: Let's go back. And I love the fact that I'm

1173
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:55,560
Speaker 1: willing to reroute and I'll be honest about it. Hey,

1174
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:58,080
Speaker 1: I kind of fell off a little bit, all right.

1175
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, this concept of new t is something that I'm

1176
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 3: really working with a lot lately. If someone sent me

1177
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:05,000
Speaker 3: the book, it takes what it takes, and it really

1178
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:08,640
Speaker 3: dials in on this concept of neutrality, not being overly positive,

1179
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:10,960
Speaker 3: and like being willing to not be so negative. And

1180
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:14,800
Speaker 3: that has really reframed the way that I think about

1181
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:16,400
Speaker 3: so much that I'm going on and I really think

1182
00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 3: that it is that mentality of I'm not afraid to

1183
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:21,400
Speaker 3: start over. No, Like I recognize the past or what

1184
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:23,440
Speaker 3: the past was, but the past does not inform what

1185
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:26,400
Speaker 3: happens next for me. Yeah, and that ownership is really

1186
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,240
Speaker 3: really special. We've talked about the word reflection a bit

1187
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:32,240
Speaker 3: here today. When you look in the mirror, Ash, what

1188
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:34,520
Speaker 3: is it that you see looking back at you?

1189
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:41,680
Speaker 1: Oh? Man, I see nothing but opportunities. I have really

1190
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:49,760
Speaker 1: focused on letting go of certain idols and comparison and

1191
00:59:49,800 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 1: that's allowed me to enjoy where I am and to

1192
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:59,360
Speaker 1: ask the question, with what that person has, do I

1193
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 1: want the best that comes with it? Do I want

1194
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:04,440
Speaker 1: the sacrifice that comes with it and then recenter back

1195
01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:06,560
Speaker 1: to me, so I see nothing but opportunity. I see

1196
01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:10,120
Speaker 1: nothing but joy and happiness. I'm just so proud of myself,

1197
01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:13,480
Speaker 1: and I think not enough people say that when they

1198
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:17,680
Speaker 1: think of them, because it sounds conceited or self serving,

1199
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 1: doesn't sound positive. But I think we need to get

1200
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 1: to a place where we're allowed to openly without being

1201
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:27,760
Speaker 1: seen as being cocky to say I'm proud of me.

1202
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:33,080
Speaker 1: I'm proud of the calmness that has entered my body.

1203
01:00:33,280 --> 01:00:37,800
Speaker 1: I'm proud of the conversations I'm willing to lean into

1204
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:41,920
Speaker 1: to build the bridge instead of burning it down. I

1205
01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:45,200
Speaker 1: love the compassion that I have, the seeking to understand,

1206
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:50,560
Speaker 1: the assuming positive intent, the mastering of questions before just

1207
01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:54,360
Speaker 1: deciding this is what I think of you or the situation,

1208
01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:57,600
Speaker 1: but really taking the time and care that I would want.

1209
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:03,440
Speaker 1: And I love that I'm in search of being the person,

1210
01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:08,720
Speaker 1: the friend, the partner and exhibiting that and what I

1211
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:10,840
Speaker 1: would want back. You know, I just think that I've

1212
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:13,720
Speaker 1: put in a lot of work and I see it,

1213
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:17,240
Speaker 1: you know, benefiting me well. But ultimately like I am

1214
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 1: the person I always dreamed that I want it to be,

1215
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:22,760
Speaker 1: and I love that special and it's in a different

1216
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:23,880
Speaker 1: form than I would have thought.

1217
01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:26,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I just I love her.

1218
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:29,800
Speaker 3: I think it's so beautiful that you're so proud of yourself.

1219
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:32,080
Speaker 3: And to your point, I think that a lot of

1220
01:01:32,120 --> 01:01:35,160
Speaker 3: people are so hesitant to say that out loud or

1221
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:38,240
Speaker 3: even say it to yourself, And there is nothing wrong

1222
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:39,360
Speaker 3: with being proud of yourself.

1223
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:41,200
Speaker 2: It is hard to show up every day.

1224
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter if you're showing up just for yourself

1225
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:45,600
Speaker 3: party of one, or you're showing up in a way

1226
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 3: that you do in front of so many people. It's

1227
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 3: such an opportunity to show up for yourself period.

1228
01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:54,000
Speaker 1: And you know, it reminds me early on Katie and

1229
01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 1: I when you first started. We had a beautiful conversation

1230
01:01:58,000 --> 01:01:59,680
Speaker 1: and you know, we were getting to know each other,

1231
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:03,200
Speaker 1: and she was like, you know, Ash, you have to

1232
01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:06,400
Speaker 1: think of this as like, even if X, Y and

1233
01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:10,480
Speaker 1: Z never works out, like you tried, he did it right,

1234
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 1: Like I did it. I got to do so many

1235
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:18,000
Speaker 1: cool things right, Like I am doing so many cool

1236
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 1: things with so many cool people, and I get to

1237
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:25,040
Speaker 1: have fun. And I think that letting fun lead the

1238
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:28,919
Speaker 1: way and the fear of whatever that task might be

1239
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:33,600
Speaker 1: has been a joy. And I'm like, yeah, Okay, maybe

1240
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:36,480
Speaker 1: I don't get that opportunity that I've wanted, or like

1241
01:02:36,800 --> 01:02:40,000
Speaker 1: maybe I don't have you know, the big time management

1242
01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:43,560
Speaker 1: and maybe I'm not going to all the brand deal events,

1243
01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:49,360
Speaker 1: but like so much. Yeah yet, yes I'm not there yet.

1244
01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:52,080
Speaker 2: But also if that's what you're after, right, but.

1245
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:53,760
Speaker 1: Look at all the cool stuff I get to do.

1246
01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 3: It's so it's so beautiful like that, before you mentioned

1247
01:02:59,720 --> 01:03:03,280
Speaker 3: having some difficult moments growing up, you mentioned the joy

1248
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:05,920
Speaker 3: that you had when you were able to pay off

1249
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:09,280
Speaker 3: debt and retire your mother. Right now you have an

1250
01:03:09,280 --> 01:03:12,840
Speaker 3: opportunity looking back on those hurdle moments for you, the

1251
01:03:12,840 --> 01:03:17,520
Speaker 3: moments where there were challenging times. Knowing what you know now,

1252
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:20,080
Speaker 3: what would you tell yourself that.

1253
01:03:20,720 --> 01:03:23,479
Speaker 1: Stay on track. I wouldn't want to change anything because

1254
01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:27,520
Speaker 1: that one change would alter getting to this moment. But

1255
01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 1: like you knew what you were doing, you knew what

1256
01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 1: you were doing, and stay locked in. But yeah, I

1257
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:36,040
Speaker 1: would just I would tell her, like you knew what

1258
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:36,919
Speaker 1: you were doing all along.

1259
01:03:37,320 --> 01:03:38,760
Speaker 2: What are you excited about right now?

1260
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:43,320
Speaker 1: Ooh, I'm excited to finish reading my books. I think

1261
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:46,800
Speaker 1: I'm going to be moving into I've always wanted to

1262
01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 1: live in a two bedroom apartments, so I think I'm

1263
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:52,600
Speaker 1: going to be doing that. I'm just excited for adulting,

1264
01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:57,040
Speaker 1: like I fully am in my womanhood, like taking care

1265
01:03:57,080 --> 01:04:01,320
Speaker 1: of myself, fearlessly, going after the things that I want.

1266
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:03,560
Speaker 1: And I just love the energy and momentum that i

1267
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:06,080
Speaker 1: have right now that I'm not like, oh, should I

1268
01:04:06,120 --> 01:04:07,840
Speaker 1: be doing this or can I do this? I'm like,

1269
01:04:08,440 --> 01:04:12,360
Speaker 1: I'm making a big girl decision to yeah, and I

1270
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:15,840
Speaker 1: just I don't know. I'm just so excited for this

1271
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,880
Speaker 1: next chapter. It just feels like I'm lighter, and I'm freer,

1272
01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:21,920
Speaker 1: and I'm just more playful and I'm just really excited

1273
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:24,680
Speaker 1: for what that's going to bring to me. And I'm

1274
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:29,040
Speaker 1: just making a lot more new friends and I'm excited

1275
01:04:29,080 --> 01:04:31,520
Speaker 1: to just dive into those and see where that leads me.

1276
01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:33,640
Speaker 1: And you know, maybe I'll find a man. Maybe I won't,

1277
01:04:33,680 --> 01:04:35,360
Speaker 1: but we're open to that too.

1278
01:04:35,560 --> 01:04:38,200
Speaker 2: We're open to that too. We are Oh my god,

1279
01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:39,160
Speaker 2: this is so fine.

1280
01:04:39,240 --> 01:04:43,080
Speaker 3: I could chat with you come find So basically what

1281
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:44,600
Speaker 3: I'm about to do is I'm going to ask her

1282
01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:48,320
Speaker 3: for her social handles and if you are excited and enthusiastic,

1283
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,640
Speaker 3: you could DM her if you happen to be her

1284
01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:53,720
Speaker 3: future I love and just you can also just DM

1285
01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:56,480
Speaker 3: her if you love her vibe, which I'm sure everyone

1286
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 3: listening to this dead so for those that aren't following along.

1287
01:04:59,720 --> 01:05:01,280
Speaker 2: With you, just yeah, it gives the info. How do

1288
01:05:01,320 --> 01:05:02,160
Speaker 2: they find you? Ash?

1289
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:04,680
Speaker 1: I am Ash Prior underscore that's me.

1290
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:05,560
Speaker 2: That's me.

1291
01:05:05,840 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 3: I'm over at Hurdle Podcast and at Emily a Body

1292
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:11,000
Speaker 3: another hurdle conquered.

1293
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:12,240
Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time