Speaker 1: Hello, guys, and welcome to this episode of Cheee'e and Chill.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to have you here.
Speaker 2: It is June.
Speaker 1: It is my favorite month. It is my birthday month.
Speaker 1: And it's also Pride month, you guys. And I'm not
Speaker 1: sure if you know, but the very first Pride March
Speaker 1: was in nineteen seventy in New York, you guys.
Speaker 2: So I'm happy.
Speaker 1: I'm a huge supporter of the LGBTQ plus community, and
Speaker 1: so I wanted to have a deep conversation with a
Speaker 1: friend of mine. Her name is Mia Vargas. She is
Speaker 1: an influencer, a hairdresser. She's also a cancer and she's
Speaker 1: a trans woman. And since it is, you know, Pride month,
Speaker 1: I thought it would be very nice to have a
Speaker 1: conversation with her because she's a very open book and
Speaker 1: I love that about her.
Speaker 2: So how are you, miya?
Speaker 3: I'm good, how are you? Thank you?
Speaker 2: Your excited? I know, right. So we're cancer sisters. Your
Speaker 2: birthday is in July.
Speaker 3: July fifth, so we're a little different of cancers. You're
Speaker 3: a different cancer.
Speaker 2: Than I am.
Speaker 1: Okay, so what do you Okay? We've I think we've
Speaker 1: talked about this on the podcasts. I'm always talking about this,
Speaker 1: but there is definitely a difference between June and July cancers.
Speaker 2: Okay, how do you think that you're different?
Speaker 3: For me, I and some things were the same. I
Speaker 3: feel like emotion wise we are, but I feel I
Speaker 3: don't know, just seeing like certain stuff, I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 3: we're a little differ, like I don't know, I don't
Speaker 3: even know how to describe it, but there is a difference.
Speaker 3: So there's a huge difference because I know your mom
Speaker 3: with cancer too.
Speaker 2: But July cancer July second.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's just even the attitude. Yeah, it's very different. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think you guys are a little bit more spicy, yes, right.
Speaker 3: For sure, more impulsive, yeah, oh, very impulsive, super impassive.
Speaker 1: And I think a little bit more of like way
Speaker 1: to say, I'm a different cancer.
Speaker 2: But still we're wonderful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh for sure.
Speaker 1: We're very like, yeah, empathetic, nurturing, very motherly.
Speaker 3: Right everywhere people are like, oh my gosh, you give
Speaker 3: me like this mother like instinct.
Speaker 2: Even my friend, yeah, with you like to take care.
Speaker 3: Of Yes, even if I'm like if we're out like partying,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, okay, I feel drunk. I need to
Speaker 3: calm down because I need to make sure like my
Speaker 3: friends are good. You know, Yeah, I trd you aren't that.
Speaker 3: I'm very with anyone. I just I feel so like responsible,
Speaker 3: I guess.
Speaker 1: Yeah too, And like talking about that we've known each
Speaker 1: other for ten years now, ten years twenty fourteen we met, Yes,
Speaker 1: should we talk about how we met? We can't, Okay,
Speaker 1: so go ahead take it away, miya.
Speaker 3: I started working for your friend Vanessa and I met
Speaker 3: remember Norwood Bar, at.
Speaker 2: The Norwood Bar at the Woody. You guys have good
Speaker 2: times there.
Speaker 3: I haven't been there in ten years. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 3: we met there and we just always had a relationship
Speaker 3: since then.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So when I met Mia, I think you were barely starting.
Speaker 3: I think I was just like a boy and makeup.
Speaker 3: I think kind of like more feminine, but yeah, not fully.
Speaker 3: I don't think. I had just moved here. So I
Speaker 3: have moved here from the state of Washington. Remember it's
Speaker 3: very different, yeah, very I had been here for one
Speaker 3: month and it was it was a like a culture
Speaker 3: shock in a way, knowing that there's people that are
Speaker 3: like that that can be openly happy here, and so
Speaker 3: I was just getting a taste of that, and I
Speaker 3: feel like I started surrounding myself with like with you guys,
Speaker 3: with people that I knew, and I started feeling comfortable
Speaker 3: with being who I am. And then I experienced like
Speaker 3: West Hollywood and all that, and I was like, oh
Speaker 3: my gosh.
Speaker 2: Then you became a Hucci.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I became a became for the streets, for the streets.
Speaker 3: I love it streets.
Speaker 2: That's one thing I love about you. You're so open.
Speaker 2: We're gonna get all into that.
Speaker 1: But going back to how we met, the reason we
Speaker 1: were a little hesitant is because I'm still friends with
Speaker 1: Vanessa me as no longer friends with Vanessa. Actually Vanessa
Speaker 1: and Ayako Madrees. She's been on the podcast as well.
Speaker 1: We have Plantita's hair care, which she uses it she
Speaker 1: loves so even though she doesn't talk to Vanessa and
Speaker 1: there's no communication.
Speaker 3: And honestly, I've always I've said it before like I had,
Speaker 3: there's no hard feelings, no nothing. I'm honestly I am
Speaker 3: happy for her success and everything she's done. I wanted
Speaker 3: to work for her. I love I admire that about her.
Speaker 3: It's just the relationship didn't work out, and that's fine.
Speaker 2: How did you work there at her salon like four.
Speaker 3: Months maybe, Okay, so it was it was it was
Speaker 3: just it was short. It was a short time, and
Speaker 3: it was.
Speaker 1: And then that's how we met and we became really cool,
Speaker 1: like since the first day I met you, yeah, and
Speaker 1: then since then we've been friends.
Speaker 2: And then I think in twenty eighteen you and I had.
Speaker 1: A fallout, yes, which you know, I'm always really straight
Speaker 1: up with everyone here, So we had a follo out.
Speaker 2: I think we didn't talk for like what a couple
Speaker 2: of years.
Speaker 3: Two year three and twenty twenty if you we kind of.
Speaker 1: Started talking, like during the pandemic when everyone's heart was
Speaker 1: really you know, damn, like life might end, and then
Speaker 1: we kind of started talking. I don't know exactly how,
Speaker 1: but I never really had an issue with you. I
Speaker 1: think because we have a very good friend, a mutual friend, yes,
Speaker 1: very good yeah. Yes, So and it's Ellen and a
Speaker 1: lot of you like my og boss bees will know.
Speaker 1: So Ellen and I had a falling out and it
Speaker 1: just kind of was that thing of like, okay, you
Speaker 1: gotta choose sides, I guess in a way, so she
Speaker 1: kind of stuck with Ellen. There was like a lot
Speaker 1: of craziness during that time, miscommunication and stuff that we
Speaker 1: already like clear's.
Speaker 3: Communication for sure, And at the time I was also
Speaker 3: very close to Ellen, and I just I you know,
Speaker 3: like you said, like that not that motherly, but I
Speaker 3: just I needed to stick by her, you know, at
Speaker 3: that time. I'm glad I did. At the end of
Speaker 3: the day, like and now we're all good again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you actually brought us together.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I did.
Speaker 2: It was it was me, Yeah, like, let's go have fun.
Speaker 2: I love yeah, I love fu.
Speaker 3: No. Yeah, it was just a miscommunication that had to
Speaker 3: It should have been a dressed sooner, but it didn't,
Speaker 3: and things happened for a reason, and you know, she
Speaker 3: ended up having her baby and everything. Yeah, so little boy,
Speaker 3: wow everything. I think sometimes in friendships you need little pauses. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and that one was one of them. Man.
Speaker 2: For sure, I definitely grew.
Speaker 1: I think everyone kind of stepped into their own and well, anyways,
Speaker 1: Ellen and I are good, We're all good. So I
Speaker 1: just kind of wanted to get that out of the way,
Speaker 1: because yes, I've known her since twenty fourteen, but you know,
Speaker 1: I always was kind of like I wonder what, you know,
Speaker 1: what me is doing or whatnot. And I thought it
Speaker 1: would be perfect, a perfect time for you to come
Speaker 1: on the podcast because we've talked about it, but since
Speaker 1: it is Pride month and I think that you're someone
Speaker 1: that has always been very open about your process. Yes,
Speaker 1: and I've been there with her, I think through like.
Speaker 3: Most of it, yeah, most of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you're completely transitioned to at this point.
Speaker 3: Completely one hundred percent. My last surgery was December fourteenth
Speaker 3: of twenty twenty three. Yeah, so six months now, Okay.
Speaker 2: And how many surgeries have you had? Because you had the.
Speaker 3: So I got my breast done, I got my I
Speaker 3: got I ended up playing a tummy tucks. I had
Speaker 3: lost weight and our tummy tuck. Then I got light
Speaker 3: with BBL. I got like with BYBL twice, which now
Speaker 3: I regret why my as just got too big. I
Speaker 3: feel like I was like in that like yeah, and
Speaker 3: now I know you've lost way again. I'm like, damn,
Speaker 3: like I need to get that fixed right. But and
Speaker 3: it's a huge in security of mine. But then I
Speaker 3: got my face. I got my nose done. First, I
Speaker 3: got my nose done because I had like a bumps.
Speaker 3: I got my nose done. Then I got my ffs
Speaker 3: of facial feminization surgery, which I.
Speaker 2: She showed me those very gnarley guys.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like she literally cut from here to here, like
Speaker 3: pulled down. Yeah, shaved all the inside of my mouth
Speaker 3: through like the inside because it feminized, yes, to soften,
Speaker 3: to soften this bone like right here. Yeah. It was
Speaker 3: pretty graphic. Yeah, it was in fifteen hour surgery.
Speaker 2: Was it recovery crazy?
Speaker 3: I was in the hospital for six days, and I
Speaker 3: remember like the when I came home, my friends all
Speaker 3: my I love my friends, all my all my gaze
Speaker 3: we love the gays. Yes. At that time, I think
Speaker 3: he was like my friend was you know, Sergio and
Speaker 3: his x now Leo, they were both like taking care
Speaker 3: of me, and my roommate and other friends were just
Speaker 3: coming around. And I remember like seven eighth day, I
Speaker 3: was just like looking at my face and I was
Speaker 3: like I started crying, like just regretting it, like because
Speaker 3: I looked fucking scary. It looked it looked bad, yeah,
Speaker 3: so swollen, like you know, I was like why did
Speaker 3: I do this? Like, and everyone's like I remember before,
Speaker 3: people are like, don't do it, don't do it, you
Speaker 3: don't need to do it. You don't need to do it,
Speaker 3: but I knew what I saw. You know, now that
Speaker 3: I'm like recover, everyone's like, oh my gosh, yeah I
Speaker 3: see the different. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I didn't really realize what it was gonna do. But
Speaker 1: now when I see before and after pictures, I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I get it. Yeah, yeah, because it just did refine
Speaker 1: everything and not just I.
Speaker 3: Just feel like now, like I love wearing makeups. So
Speaker 3: sometimes yes, I'll be atle heavy or sometimes I'm like
Speaker 3: more my natural, but I love that I can go
Speaker 3: natural without looking like masculine, you know. Yeah, like I
Speaker 3: can be softer with that. Right now?
Speaker 2: Is it softer your makeup?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Right, it looks pretty like what you're doing.
Speaker 3: I don't really wear like foundation, It's more like a
Speaker 3: skin tint now.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, so I like there's still more compre.
Speaker 2: For sure, for sure.
Speaker 3: And then obviously I recovered from that, and then my
Speaker 3: last surgery was my gender assignment surgery, which I did.
Speaker 3: You know, honestly, I was like losing hope with that.
Speaker 3: Oh girl, you were supposed to pay.
Speaker 2: For that, yeah, I was. Yeah, I was going to
Speaker 2: tell you.
Speaker 3: I sent me a check I did.
Speaker 2: I told her I was gonna, but we stopped talking.
Speaker 3: Yeah I was.
Speaker 1: I told her, I said, I'm going to help you
Speaker 1: all pay for it. Yeah, and then we stopped talking
Speaker 1: and didn't happen. But then how did that go about?
Speaker 2: Like you so.
Speaker 3: Look my face, I got it paid. Don't attack me, people,
Speaker 3: but I got it paid to the state, my face.
Speaker 3: I did. How bad I did? Because during pandemic, I
Speaker 3: was like I had qualified for like medical and all that,
Speaker 3: oh okay, and so they were doing like not they weren't.
Speaker 3: They were renewing everybody for like three years. So like
Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, I'm not gonna I'm
Speaker 3: getting it, Like I'm not gonna, you know, make it
Speaker 3: a big deal.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I ended up getting that this surgery. I did
Speaker 3: do it through my insurance, with my own insurance. I
Speaker 3: ended up paying nine thousand out of pocket, which isn't
Speaker 3: bad because I think the total cost was like one
Speaker 3: hundred and eighty thousand. Oh wow, States and the States
Speaker 3: is ridiculous, like and that's why I think people don't
Speaker 3: do it or they go to like overseas to do it,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, you told me you wanted to go to Bangkok. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: And that was a thing. It was a Bangkok, Thailand whatever.
Speaker 1: I just like saying bankok but okay, yeah, so that.
Speaker 3: Was a whole. It was like ten grand Yeah, it
Speaker 3: was like ten.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I got you. Let's backtrack a
Speaker 1: tiny bit, because when did you I've always wondered because
Speaker 1: I really do feel and some people may disagree with me,
Speaker 1: but I really do feel that people are born gay too.
Speaker 1: There's some people that feel that they become gay or
Speaker 1: maybe they get curious and then they want to try
Speaker 1: different or the same sex whatever. But I do really
Speaker 1: feel and I've had these conversations with Gerald remembers all
Speaker 1: he told me he knew when he was a little boy,
Speaker 1: like he was four six years old, and he's like,
Speaker 1: I had a crush on a boy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And I have had these conversations and I really do
Speaker 1: feel that when when did you feel?
Speaker 2: Or how?
Speaker 1: How give me your experience? Because I think it's did
Speaker 1: you ever feel trapped?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Body?
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, trapped for sure? And I always I grew
Speaker 3: up with sisters, right, but I have cousins and everything,
Speaker 3: like male cousins and everything. But my I always wanted to,
Speaker 3: like dress into their stuff, which, mind you, I think
Speaker 3: every little boys regardless does that right, don't put on
Speaker 3: their mom's heels to do that, right. But I just
Speaker 3: like I felt like more like Podosa, I guess, like
Speaker 3: more like powerful like and I don't know, it was
Speaker 3: just something in me, but it was something that I
Speaker 3: felt like I had to hide, like I didn't want
Speaker 3: no one knowing that or especially be Yeah, well not
Speaker 3: just not just that you grow up like realistically, you
Speaker 3: grew up with you, you know, hearing your parents say like
Speaker 3: a mariicon and stuff like that, so you always have
Speaker 3: that already, Like I can't be that. You know, you
Speaker 3: you You're going to be like a disgrace, right, So
Speaker 3: even just like I remember my mom, like we used
Speaker 3: to like we used to take care of kids and everything,
Speaker 3: and I would always want to play house and I'm like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, I'm the on' this Like it was
Speaker 3: just like a horrible game to play as kids. I
Speaker 3: don't know why we kids want to grow up so fast,
Speaker 3: right and play house? But yeah, I just always wanted that,
Speaker 3: Like I always wanted to feel like I was a girl,
Speaker 3: even like when I was growing up like maybe twelve thirteen,
Speaker 3: I ended up losing a Virginia at thirteen, very very young,
Speaker 3: but I just wanted I wanted to see what it was,
Speaker 3: you know. And but even then, like I would feel
Speaker 3: like I don't feel manly enough, and I just always
Speaker 3: I always wanted someone like above me to like hold me,
Speaker 3: take care of me. But yeah, ever since I was little.
Speaker 2: I howld were you when you first felt that.
Speaker 3: Like twelve or thirteen, okay, okay, when you.
Speaker 1: Were like, oh I felt more, Yeah, like you wanted
Speaker 1: to be held, you want to be protected, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it was the thing that I went through.
Speaker 3: Like I kind of don't like when people say, like,
Speaker 3: oh they're gay because they were like molested or there
Speaker 3: were this. I mean, that could be a case, you know,
Speaker 3: but with you, it it wasn't. It wasn't that at all.
Speaker 3: I had a really good childhood and everything. But yeah,
Speaker 3: I always I always felt for sure, I always felt gay,
Speaker 3: right I would, because I didn't know what like being
Speaker 3: trans was or anything like that. You know, it was
Speaker 3: very very small town. But yeah, I just I always knew.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and when did you realize that you wanted to be?
Speaker 3: Like so with third so I want to say I
Speaker 3: started doing hair when I was like seventeen, right, and
Speaker 3: then I think like at nineteen twenty, I started wearing
Speaker 3: like makeup, and then I kind of started just wearing
Speaker 3: like women's jeans and then just stuff like that. Didn't
Speaker 3: really know what it was, but there was some There
Speaker 3: was like one gay club out there was called like
Speaker 3: out and About. It was literally like forty five fifty
Speaker 3: minutes away from where we lived, and we would go
Speaker 3: there once in a while and they would do like
Speaker 3: drag shows. That's like the only thing I would see
Speaker 3: like that, you know. So I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: that's so cool, right.
Speaker 2: And and you felt at home there.
Speaker 3: I felt at home, yeah, But I also you knew
Speaker 3: you once you go home. That was like done right,
Speaker 3: you had to just you know. And but I think
Speaker 3: I always knew certain stuff, but not I didn't know enough, right.
Speaker 3: And then I think when I moved Tire, I ended
Speaker 3: up meeting people. I met, you know, Jia. I ended
Speaker 3: up meeting her, and then I was like, Okay, she's
Speaker 3: really happy, like with her life and everything. And I
Speaker 3: remember someone had referred me to like black market hormones,
Speaker 3: and I started I did that and for like six
Speaker 3: months which was like the worst thing I could ever do.
Speaker 3: I think I ended up like in the er twice,
Speaker 3: like I was literally felt like I was obviously I
Speaker 3: think I was putting too much in. You don't you
Speaker 3: don't know the proper dosage, you don't know what to
Speaker 3: shoot up right, and you the problem is you see
Speaker 3: all these people that have transition and they have these
Speaker 3: nice curve bodies, they have this, and they give like
Speaker 3: this false hope that you transition, you're going to look
Speaker 3: like this. You don't. Yeah, So then that's when I
Speaker 3: think I started going to like this the LGBT Center.
Speaker 3: And then that's when I properly was like, Okay, this
Speaker 3: is who I am. And I remember going to like
Speaker 3: therapy and counseling there and really just finding myself.
Speaker 2: So there is the LGBT Central Center, Okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I mean, I mean I definitely I don't
Speaker 1: know if you want to tell them, but yeah, like
Speaker 1: not to go through the black market, because don't it
Speaker 1: is so scary.
Speaker 3: You do not don't get butt shots, don't do none
Speaker 3: of that, like honestly, like take your time and transitioning.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of people that I looked up too
Speaker 3: that I was just like, oh my gosh, there looks
Speaker 3: so good in this. And then they would say, oh,
Speaker 3: it's the hormones, it's this, it's this. No, it's not
Speaker 3: their liars because now they all have come out with
Speaker 3: videos like and these are like YouTubers like oh wow,
Speaker 3: and I don't want to say their names.
Speaker 2: I can stand no no more.
Speaker 3: But like I I was given that false like oh
Speaker 3: my gosh, and I know I got on black market
Speaker 3: hormones because of these people sometimes, you know, and now
Speaker 3: they all came out like oh my silicon butt injections,
Speaker 3: this and that, like don't do that.
Speaker 2: Now, start getting infection.
Speaker 3: Infection that's spreading some of them. You can lose your leg,
Speaker 3: like I had a friend that almost died literally, you know, scar, Yeah,
Speaker 3: don't do that.
Speaker 1: And in this at the center here that you're talking about,
Speaker 1: they they help finance that stuff a nonprofit.
Speaker 3: Yes it's nonprofit. It's here in Hollywood. And they are
Speaker 3: the ones that refer you to be honest, like to
Speaker 3: even doctors that will help you get like life will
Speaker 3: bbl like all that stuff, you know, like most of
Speaker 3: the stuff is covered. You know, I didn't know there's
Speaker 3: a lot.
Speaker 2: Of stuff being informed you guys.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and researching I was able to you know, change
Speaker 3: my name everything like that through help, through the resources,
Speaker 3: you know, birth certificate everything.
Speaker 1: So it's safe to say for sure when you moved
Speaker 1: here in twenty fourteen was when you really just stepped
Speaker 1: into Mia completely. Yes, yeah, right because okay, because when
Speaker 1: I met you, your name was different. But when you
Speaker 1: came here, it's like when I feel like you flourished,
Speaker 1: yeah in every way, like fast, yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean it felt fast. Now it feels fast, but
Speaker 3: like I did. Take Look, this is my thing now
Speaker 3: with people that are transitioning. Now again, now, the people
Speaker 3: that are transitioning, I think people some of them are
Speaker 3: seeing it as a trend, which is like sucks because
Speaker 3: then then there's the people that are de transitioning because
Speaker 3: they again I think were fed this like oh my gosh,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna look fish. I'm gonna look you know fish
Speaker 3: meaning like girl, you know, like very very girl, Like
Speaker 3: I'm gonna look this, I'm gonna look that. So there
Speaker 3: are people are transitioning really really fast and then they're like,
Speaker 3: oh shit, that's not who I am. Let me do transition,
Speaker 3: and it's giving us a bad rep because they're like, oh,
Speaker 3: it is a mental illness, it is a sickness, it's
Speaker 3: this you know. Yeah, and a lot of these people.
Speaker 3: So look, when I first transitioned, I remember, like the
Speaker 3: restroom issue is a huge thing, right, I remember, like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I started wearing makeup, letting my hair grow out. I
Speaker 3: still would not go into the women's restroom. I if
Speaker 3: it was like a family restroom, I would go in there.
Speaker 3: And if I really had to go, I would just
Speaker 3: go into the men's restroom one because I needed everyone
Speaker 3: to feel safe around me, right, Yeah. And nowadays you
Speaker 3: see these people and I'm not coming for anyone, but
Speaker 3: it's just it's a scary world. It's I say, for
Speaker 3: the safety of them as well. Yeah, Like if you
Speaker 3: can use a public family restore, do that, because there's
Speaker 3: people that are transitioning, like all of a sudden day
Speaker 3: one I'm trans Then they go into a female restroom
Speaker 3: and like, you just don't know who you're making uncomfortable
Speaker 3: or not, just that the uncomfortable position you're putting yourself in.
Speaker 3: There's crazy people out there that will kill you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's and that's what I was going to
Speaker 1: ask you, because I remember when I met you. You
Speaker 1: you had your makeup, your hair was shorter, so it's
Speaker 1: like and I always wondered, and this is I mean,
Speaker 1: this is the first time I ask you, but did
Speaker 1: you ever feel scared to go into the men's restrooms?
Speaker 3: That at the airport at Lax one time was like
Speaker 3: one of my worst time worst encounters. So I was
Speaker 3: at Lax literally going back home for I think the holidays,
Speaker 3: and my hair was still kind of short and everything
Speaker 3: full makeup at the airport like literally like over dramatic,
Speaker 3: and I had to like go restrooms so bad, and
Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, funck, I'm just going
Speaker 3: to run to the men's restroom. Literally, security comes after me,
Speaker 3: like banging in the door. You're in the wrong restroom,
Speaker 3: You're in the wrong restroom. They like escorted me, and
Speaker 3: I was like, no, I'm not, no, I'm not. Literally
Speaker 3: I think my d was still my old name. Everything
Speaker 3: showed them and they're like they didn't even know what
Speaker 3: to do about it, like and I was like, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna miss my flight. Luckily, they just like I didn't
Speaker 3: help me there for like five minutes, like you know,
Speaker 3: just be careful. Luckily, the guy was really nice, but
Speaker 3: obviously they were like alerted at first, someone told them, like,
Speaker 3: you're in the wrong freaking restroom, right, But if I
Speaker 3: would have gone too the women's restroom, what would have happened?
Speaker 3: What I had gotten arrested?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: See, you know, and I remember like panicing, like, oh
Speaker 3: my gosh, they're making this big old freaking scene.
Speaker 1: Like and you probably felt embar embarrassed, embarrassed, and did
Speaker 1: other dudes ever look at you like guys, yeah, and
Speaker 1: we're kind of like.
Speaker 3: So, I mean I would never go like pee like
Speaker 3: on a star or that, I would go into it.
Speaker 3: I would go into not not the yarals. I would
Speaker 3: go into like an actual star, you know. But yeah,
Speaker 3: it was it was scary and so most of the time,
Speaker 3: like at that time though, I would go party in
Speaker 3: weehole a lot, so it wasn't like I was going
Speaker 3: to like straight places to go party. So we hold you.
Speaker 3: It's very going to wherever restroom you.
Speaker 1: Right, okay, but still like at the airport and things
Speaker 1: like that, like I have. It's it's a whole thing,
Speaker 1: and it's like conversations we've had off of camera in
Speaker 1: regards to to.
Speaker 2: It, like now now you're fine. Now you got to
Speaker 2: the women's restroom and you're totally fine.
Speaker 1: But when you're transitioning, it's just I guess, yes, the
Speaker 1: safest thing is to find a family restaurant somewhere.
Speaker 3: Where it is. And I see people arguing all the time,
Speaker 3: like I'm a woman, and I'm like, you're not, Like
Speaker 3: you're not yet. You need to stop. You need to relax,
Speaker 3: and you need to understand how others feel too, Like
Speaker 3: other people have their children in there, like imagine like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to know your perspective on that, Like
Speaker 2: what do you visit?
Speaker 3: People get mad when I'm like, I'm a little trumpy
Speaker 3: when it comes to stuff like this, Okay, but because
Speaker 3: I feel like in that case, I back then, I
Speaker 3: was very much more vocal like, oh my gosh, rights,
Speaker 3: our rights, our rights. Yes, I do stand for our
Speaker 3: rights one hundred percent, but I also stand for the
Speaker 3: safety of others, you know, Like I like I said,
Speaker 3: I feel like if you're like day one of your
Speaker 3: transition and you don't not that it's because see this
Speaker 3: is the kid. The scary part of saying stuff like
Speaker 3: this when you say, oh, you don't look passable, you
Speaker 3: shouldn't go in there. No, I'm not coming for you.
Speaker 3: It's just what I'm saying is that people are still
Speaker 3: going to look at you as a man. As it is,
Speaker 3: people still look at me as a man. I don't
Speaker 3: have an issue with it, no one, because I know
Speaker 3: I don't look like one, you know, but and I
Speaker 3: know the hard work I put into it. And the
Speaker 3: thing is that people now they want to transition in
Speaker 3: the second day they are a woman, and you can't.
Speaker 3: You have to think about your safety and the risk
Speaker 3: you're putting others in as well.
Speaker 1: Okay, you know, okay, So so for you, in your opinion,
Speaker 1: do you feel that someone that's barely starting their transition
Speaker 1: that still look a little bit more male than female,
Speaker 1: but they're wearing makeup but don't have their parts, like
Speaker 1: having transitioned completely, should still go into like if it's
Speaker 1: a male into the male's rest into a man's restaurant.
Speaker 3: It's it's just it's hard. That's why it's hard to
Speaker 3: pick and choose. It's super hard to pick and choose
Speaker 3: because I'm like, I don't want to say that and
Speaker 3: then them get like murder in there, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean?
Speaker 2: Right, That's what I worry about.
Speaker 3: Because if there's that's why I'm saying, like, if you
Speaker 3: can find a family restroom, try to do that for
Speaker 3: your own safety, because then you just never know. There's
Speaker 3: weirdos out there, there's people like and and and then
Speaker 3: again people use this whole thing like oh, that's why,
Speaker 3: like rape happens because people are dressing up as women
Speaker 3: and going into that doesn't happen. That happens between families unfortunately, right,
Speaker 3: But like, yeah, I always tell people, if you can
Speaker 3: find a family restroom, do it for your own safety.
Speaker 3: You know, until you feel you look more presentable and
Speaker 3: or you're somewhere that it's safe, you know, like just
Speaker 3: look around or ask someone, just ask, like you have
Speaker 3: a family restroom, Like yeah, it's just now from the
Speaker 3: experience that I've seen in the faces that I've gotten,
Speaker 3: that's why I tell people that.
Speaker 1: You've you've I've experienced the experienced, you know, and yeah,
Speaker 1: it's hard.
Speaker 3: It's just you know what I feel. I feel bad
Speaker 3: saying this, but I feel like we have put in
Speaker 3: the work, and there's people like again I'm saying, they
Speaker 3: transition all of a sudden, they want all this respect.
Speaker 3: I've actually put in the work. We put in the
Speaker 3: work to consider ourselves trans women, you know, and say
Speaker 3: like I've done my part.
Speaker 1: You know, because you feel now more than ever that
Speaker 1: there are people that are giving trans a bad names, yes,
Speaker 1: like not really going through the entire process.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they feel so entitled. And also the people
Speaker 3: that are getting recognized that are becoming the face of
Speaker 3: the community, you know, and that's bad for them to
Speaker 3: be the face because that's not who we are, that's
Speaker 3: not who we represent, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's one thing that I like about you
Speaker 1: is that you've been very open about your entire process
Speaker 1: and your beliefs are are very different, I feel in
Speaker 1: a good way though, you know, you're very honest. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I think that can also that's that's going to
Speaker 1: give the community more longevity and more respect if there
Speaker 1: are people that really like this, this is my true identity,
Speaker 1: and I take it seriously and I'm not only just
Speaker 1: like fighting for my rights, but like you said, for
Speaker 1: everyone's safety and because at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: it's your choice, and it's like it still makes other
Speaker 1: people uncomfortable, so you're also thinking about them or children
Speaker 1: that you know, I always say, speak to your kids,
Speaker 1: be honest about what's going on in the world about
Speaker 1: gay and the whole community.
Speaker 3: Everything starts at home. Everything starts at home. Like you
Speaker 3: see these some of these kids, like the way they speak,
Speaker 3: I'm like, that's because of their parents, you know. Like
Speaker 3: it's like kids like it can go anywhay, Like when
Speaker 3: kids wear like gain attire clothing like what they have
Speaker 3: at home. You know what I mean. You teach your
Speaker 3: kids love and respect at home, and that goes a
Speaker 3: long way. Yeah, right, And yeah, you have to like
Speaker 3: when people say, oh, I don't like kids seeing two
Speaker 3: boys kissing or two girls. Teach your kids about love.
Speaker 3: That's all it is, you know. And like I said,
Speaker 3: all that starts at home. Yeah, and you have to
Speaker 3: be open with.
Speaker 1: Your kids about it because if not, they're going to
Speaker 1: see it, especially now with social media. I feel like
Speaker 1: I'd rather my kids come to me and say, hey,
Speaker 1: what's Let me explain it to you. Let me show
Speaker 1: you how children are born or how they're made. And
Speaker 1: and these are people's choices and this is what it is.
Speaker 1: And as my personal opinion.
Speaker 3: If your kids want to express themselves, let them express themselves.
Speaker 3: You know, Like when I things I don't like seeing
Speaker 3: obviously is like I remember one time I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: this is like five years ago and Charlotte Ruis was
Speaker 3: still open. This little boy was like, oh you could
Speaker 3: arrest those like these shoes, like and he was innocent,
Speaker 3: like just when the dad pulled them up, like I'm like,
Speaker 3: that's so fucked up. But I was like, you know what,
Speaker 3: my kid now, my kid, I'm not a parent. And
Speaker 3: that's one thing I sucks when I try to tell
Speaker 3: people something because I like, well, you're not a parent.
Speaker 3: I know I'm not, but like I'm just saying, teachers,
Speaker 3: it's about love, yeah, and just don't be you know,
Speaker 3: it's maybe it's a face. He just wanted to try
Speaker 3: that shoe on, that it.
Speaker 1: Happened, and saying stuff like that, and public especially you know,
Speaker 1: because liquor even like those are words of they haunt you.
Speaker 2: They haunt you. Yeah, exactly, even if what if he
Speaker 2: is the little boy is.
Speaker 3: And now he's growing up thinking like damn, I can
Speaker 3: never be because my dad just traumatized me in at
Speaker 3: the mall.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, how did your dad take it?
Speaker 3: You know? I remember like telling my parents I was
Speaker 3: I started up, I was by and they're like whatever, right,
Speaker 3: there's still.
Speaker 2: Hope, you know.
Speaker 3: And then and then I came out as gay, and
Speaker 3: then I don't think they really said much after that.
Speaker 3: And then I remember when I started transitioning. I told
Speaker 3: my mom first I was already living here, and you know,
Speaker 3: my mom was like yes and this and this and that,
Speaker 3: you know. And at that point, I think I had
Speaker 3: already built them up to like not care about certain
Speaker 3: stuff because I felt like I was a black sheep
Speaker 3: in my family, that I was very different. I'm very outspoken,
Speaker 3: and I was I was thinking I was building her
Speaker 3: up for that. And then I remember at one point
Speaker 3: when I was like telling her, like, you can't call
Speaker 3: me that anymore, like, and I stopped talking to her
Speaker 3: for a moment, right, It was like a heart a month,
Speaker 3: and I just I couldn't give in.
Speaker 2: I could.
Speaker 3: I had to like not teach her lesson, but tell
Speaker 3: her like, I love you, but this is who I
Speaker 3: am now, right. So then I remember having I told her,
Speaker 3: you need to tell my dad because I didn't want
Speaker 3: to say it. He was very very like I used
Speaker 3: to go hunting with him, like I used to do
Speaker 3: a lot of like very much, yes, very very much,
Speaker 3: he's that, you know. And I remember going back.
Speaker 2: I can't even imagine you're asked hunting girl.
Speaker 3: I used to hunt. I used to choose fish. Oh wow,
Speaker 3: I'm very handy. Like when it comes to like building stuff, yeah,
Speaker 3: I used to. Yeah, my friends always like, okay, you
Speaker 3: can have me building something.
Speaker 1: And she's a badass baker, you guys make she makes
Speaker 1: this bomb ass banana some freaking oh please.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So it's the bed. It's so moist banana chocolate chip,
Speaker 2: banana chocolate chip.
Speaker 3: I got it out of this like old ass book
Speaker 3: that I found. It's a good will literally really yes.
Speaker 2: It was literally a socious book.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so good. So then okay, So I was going
Speaker 3: to go back home to my cousins kin Signetta, which
Speaker 3: is my dad's brother's daughters Skins Signetta, right, and I
Speaker 3: still had no boobs thing yet, but I was already
Speaker 3: like wearing long hair and everything. And then I remember
Speaker 3: like telling my mom like did you tell my dad?
Speaker 3: I's like yeah, I told him. I told him, don't
Speaker 3: you know, it's fine, it's fine. I remember getting ready
Speaker 3: going to this we're getting we're going there, and my
Speaker 3: sister in her car. I remember just like I started bawling.
Speaker 3: The only thing I was ever scared of my dad
Speaker 3: is him feeling some type of way of my family
Speaker 3: saying something to him about me, like making him feel
Speaker 3: less up or making him feel like he failed as
Speaker 3: a parent. That was what I was scared. I'm the baby,
Speaker 3: I'm the only boy. It was the only boy. It
Speaker 3: was the only boy. Yeah, Like that was his baby, right,
Speaker 3: And I know his in his wallet he still has
Speaker 3: a picture of me like when I was a little boy,
Speaker 3: Like he always has that picture, like he still has
Speaker 3: it to this day. But I remember that was like
Speaker 3: my biggest fear was just like what my if my
Speaker 3: family would have said something to him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I I remember to cause him pain because
Speaker 1: of yeah.
Speaker 3: Right, So I remember like I was hyper ventilated like
Speaker 3: a I just like, no, you're fine, You're fine, You're fine.
Speaker 3: I just come, just come. And I remember just like
Speaker 3: walking because I think I landed the day before and
Speaker 3: I didn't go see them. And I saw my mom
Speaker 3: only in the morning because I think I curled her
Speaker 3: hair for the So yeah, I hadn't seen my dad
Speaker 3: though at all. And this he really hadn't seen much.
Speaker 2: You know, seeing like you're you as a woman.
Speaker 3: Yes, And I remember I wore a black dress and
Speaker 3: uh yeah, it was I ket walking in though. I
Speaker 3: was like, oh my gosh, okay, everyone was looking everyone, everyone, everyone,
Speaker 3: all my dad's family was there, Washington, Washington. Yeah. And
Speaker 3: I started saying hi to some people that were kind
Speaker 3: of that. I whatever skipped a lot of my family
Speaker 3: and then I got to my more. My parents were
Speaker 3: and I said, I said hi, and like nothing.
Speaker 2: He was fine.
Speaker 3: He was fine, and.
Speaker 2: He's always because does he know you you did compla.
Speaker 3: Not the last surgery. The last surgery. My mom knows
Speaker 3: about it. My family knows about it, but I never
Speaker 3: told him. I just think that's like a weird conversation
Speaker 3: to him. So I'm like, you know, maybe if he
Speaker 3: still feels like some thing, let him feel that, you know, like, yeah,
Speaker 3: let me not take everything away from him, you know.
Speaker 2: Right right.
Speaker 1: No, I get that because I mean it must be
Speaker 1: hard for parents, you know, because for them it's like
Speaker 1: they have especially because you were the only boy, had
Speaker 1: these dreams and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: You guys went hunting and all this.
Speaker 1: But I mean, it's beautiful to see that your parents,
Speaker 1: your parents love you enough to say I just want
Speaker 1: her to be happy. Yeah, I remember, like, and now
Speaker 1: your mom calls you by me?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah yeah yeah only yeah, and my fad some
Speaker 3: of my cousins, they'll try to call me my old
Speaker 3: name and they'll be like, oh, that's all I've known you.
Speaker 3: I'm like, if my mom has to call me my
Speaker 3: new name, so you if you don't, I'm done with you.
Speaker 3: Like I am at that cut off. I'm cutting off
Speaker 3: people because you expect me. Yes, why why should you
Speaker 3: get that chance to call me that when I don't
Speaker 3: even let my mom call me that? You know?
Speaker 2: That makes sense? Absolutely? And what's your dad call you?
Speaker 3: So? No, no, no, no, so they call me my mom calls.
Speaker 2: You by Mia.
Speaker 3: But like one time I got there, I like today
Speaker 3: from the airport like all glam so ever since then
Speaker 3: my dads like, oh yeah, so I'm like, okay, whatever,
Speaker 3: so he.
Speaker 2: Calls you, yeah, does he call you mihw or anything
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 3: I don't like You'll just be like okay, I mean.
Speaker 2: It's whatever better than yeah my old name.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like that. I know. Everyone's like in Washington
Speaker 2: everything that you go back there, you're fine.
Speaker 3: You don't like a little local celebrity to them. No,
Speaker 3: it's honestly, I love when I go out there just
Speaker 3: seeing like old people that I used to like associate
Speaker 3: myself like friends back then. It's fun, you know. But yeah,
Speaker 3: like people still trip out and yeah, you know, but.
Speaker 2: Do you feel like it's getting better?
Speaker 3: I feel like it is. Like I saw they had
Speaker 3: a Pride recently, like a Pride festival, like two weeks ago,
Speaker 3: and I mean, like like any other Pride festival, there's
Speaker 3: people outside protesting of course, you know, but like it's
Speaker 3: it's come a long way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely feel like it's more accepted, I guess now,
Speaker 1: and I think that that's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 3: The thing is that when people when I say Washington,
Speaker 3: everyone assumes Seattle. I'm not from Seattle. Seattle is three
Speaker 3: hours up north from US. We are in the lower part,
Speaker 3: so we're like in all the farm area, which is
Speaker 3: very conservative. That's the conservative part, the part that makes
Speaker 3: Washington a Democrat state. Seattle, which is a tiny corner
Speaker 3: but it's obviously overpopulated. That's the only thing. The rest
Speaker 3: of it is so conservative. We're also borderline to Idaho,
Speaker 3: you know. Yeah, so it's all farm people. You know,
Speaker 3: so that's very close minded, you know, but they come along.
Speaker 1: Way, but it's they're coming a long way. And I'm
Speaker 1: glad that you probably say that's where I'm from.
Speaker 3: That's I never deny where I'm from. I always say, like,
Speaker 3: I'm from Washington, small little town, grand View, and born
Speaker 3: and raised around there. So I love.
Speaker 2: That you have to be proud of where you come from.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, what do you feel is
Speaker 1: that it has been the most difficult part of your transition,
Speaker 1: is there or has it just been like do you
Speaker 1: finally feel like, oh I'm whole.
Speaker 2: I'm mean, I feel whole.
Speaker 3: I feel one hundred percent whole. But one thing I
Speaker 3: always taught you don't need the surch you don't need
Speaker 3: the last surgery like to feel whole. Right for me,
Speaker 3: I did, ok, But then after this surgery I did
Speaker 3: have to be like, Okay, now I have to fully
Speaker 3: accept myself because even though that surgery was done, you know,
Speaker 3: you're still I been anesthesia kind of whereas in and
Speaker 3: out of your body where you're kind of like, oh,
Speaker 3: like you start questioning certain stuff, right, yeah, But now
Speaker 3: I was like, I think, like two months ago, I
Speaker 3: was like, you know, I really do have to feel
Speaker 3: one hundred percent myself and I did. I did, like
Speaker 3: some soul searching. I was like, okay this, I don't
Speaker 3: need a man. I don't need I just needed to
Speaker 3: feel whole myself. And once I accepted that, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I feel good.
Speaker 2: You feel fine? Yeah, because you want to get married right, yeah?
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do want to not right now, I'm going
Speaker 3: to have a hot girl summer but.
Speaker 2: Nice yes, hot girl summer summer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the cat in full effect. But you know, like
Speaker 3: I would love that. I would love that. You know,
Speaker 3: do you.
Speaker 1: Feel now that you're completely transitioned, would you still tell
Speaker 1: someone oh I'm trans or like the guy that you meet.
Speaker 3: Yes, but not right there. I also, this is the
Speaker 3: thing with me and people. I don't go around like
Speaker 3: say I'm at a bar and you're like, oh so,
Speaker 3: so I don't say that, cahi ama, I'm trans Okay,
Speaker 3: never do that one. You never know. It is safety.
Speaker 2: You're safety again. Yes, never know how people are.
Speaker 3: Yes, but always do tell. If anything, I'm not going
Speaker 3: to go home and hook up with this guy, I
Speaker 3: will get their number. I'll be like, oh, let's just
Speaker 3: change numbers or I'll get my social media or something
Speaker 3: like that. Sometimes I'm very like about social media because
Speaker 3: I'm like, where if they go far back? I have
Speaker 3: archived so much stuff now. But because again I don't
Speaker 3: know people haunting me with old pictures or stuff like that,
Speaker 3: you know, But I will tell them if I if
Speaker 3: I see the conversations going somewhere with them, like it's
Speaker 3: not just a dumb converce. I'm like, hey, just so
Speaker 3: you know I am you know, I'm transgender thissiness, and
Speaker 3: that explain, you know, if they don't know it. Sometimes
Speaker 3: it's like, oh, I'm cool with that. You want to
Speaker 3: fuck Then I'm like, okay, I'm done with this conversation too,
Speaker 3: you know now I'm done with that conversation. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but yeah. I always you have to tell people. You
Speaker 3: have to be one hundred percent no no, And I
Speaker 3: hear these stories and I don't. I don't want to
Speaker 3: say that's why some people people get killed, but that
Speaker 3: is that's one of the reasons. Or some people also
Speaker 3: can't stand that they knew that they slept with someone
Speaker 3: that's trans, so they end up killing them. But always
Speaker 3: disclose that and always make sure that people know who
Speaker 3: you're with. I told all my friends, like, hey, I've
Speaker 3: been with this person or this person's coming over, Like
Speaker 3: I'll send pictures some of what they look like or whatever,
Speaker 3: just in case, just in case my location. I share
Speaker 3: it with like thirty people. Yeah, you know, like you.
Speaker 1: Have to safeties first, and I think always being honest
Speaker 1: and upfront so that you don't mislead anybody in all
Speaker 1: the best space, so that you're safe and they're safe
Speaker 1: and they have at least a.
Speaker 2: Chance and the opportunity to say yes or no. Exactly.
Speaker 1: Okay, So before we go, I do want to ask
Speaker 1: because on your social media, what I love too is
Speaker 1: that you're you come across as a very confident woman,
Speaker 1: and I think that you can be of a you know,
Speaker 1: an inspiration to people in the community. Where do you
Speaker 1: think that that confidence comes from. Has it always been there?
Speaker 2: Is it something? Is it a front? Is it something now.
Speaker 1: That you really feel because you you're like, this is
Speaker 1: why I love that. But I mean, I've been honest
Speaker 1: about how I used to portray myself and how I
Speaker 1: thought I was confident, but it wasn't really confident.
Speaker 3: It was I have to say that about you too, though, Yeah,
Speaker 3: it was it was it wasn't. I feel like I've
Speaker 3: had to portray that, Like I had to portray that
Speaker 3: I was very confident, and I or my friends always
Speaker 3: telling me like, you're so strong, you're so there's what
Speaker 3: you know, you shouldn't have an issue, and it would
Speaker 3: make me cry because I would just feel like you
Speaker 3: guys fucking think that, but I'm not. I'm not like
Speaker 3: I's it's a front. It's something that so I don't
Speaker 3: feel torn down, I don't feel like you can get
Speaker 3: to me. Yeah, because I'll give you the satisy. Yes, yes,
Speaker 3: So what happened? I want to say, Like twenty sixteen,
Speaker 3: I remember I had posted like that whole picture with
Speaker 3: like the slurs like all over my body, and then
Speaker 3: Kylie Jenner had reposted it, right, and that was the
Speaker 3: beginning of like the hate. I feel like, the like
Speaker 3: go kill yourself, go do this, go do that. And
Speaker 3: that's where I feel like I had to become even
Speaker 3: more confident, more stronger and act like it didn't hurt me,
Speaker 3: but it did so for I do feel up until
Speaker 3: like twenty twenty is when I started kind of being
Speaker 3: more in tune of my feelings. And then I did
Speaker 3: stop posting a lot. I I used to post like
Speaker 3: three four times a week, and now it's like rare
Speaker 3: when I like, I'll post like once every two three weeks.
Speaker 3: You know, I do post on my story a lot,
Speaker 3: but I I am scared of what people say sometimes
Speaker 3: and I am stronger, but I am more in tune
Speaker 3: my things. I know I have to you have to
Speaker 3: read those comments. Sometimes you have to read the hate, right.
Speaker 3: But I now I know they can't bring me down.
Speaker 3: But before it was all up front, it was all like,
Speaker 3: that's what I have to be. I have to show
Speaker 3: people I'm a strong bitch. You can't get to me.
Speaker 3: You can tell me off, you can say whatever you want.
Speaker 3: But I'm a strong bitch. But I wasn't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I completely agree with that because.
Speaker 3: It can with you. You know, you went through so
Speaker 3: much hate the first I.
Speaker 1: Really I've experienced bullying since I was little about my weight,
Speaker 1: and then I came into this world, in this industry,
Speaker 1: and I just felt like I always felt beautiful, and
Speaker 1: I felt like I never knew that I was big.
Speaker 1: I only knew that I was fat because people would
Speaker 1: tell me, Oh, you're so fat, you come out on
Speaker 1: TV you shouldn't like so many things, and then I
Speaker 1: would be like, oh my god, I guess I am,
Speaker 1: but I felt so it was just thinking of like
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let you.
Speaker 2: Guys get to me.
Speaker 1: I'm strong and I know what I am inside my
Speaker 1: heart and now like it's it's this thing of like
Speaker 1: I know who I am in my core, so you
Speaker 1: know what I mean.
Speaker 2: But it was it was hard.
Speaker 3: Okay, now that you've lost weight, you went on this
Speaker 3: like healthy journey right like you. I'm sure you do
Speaker 3: feel though sometimes like oh now there's things that I
Speaker 3: don't like. It's it's you're never gonna win that though,
Speaker 3: because I remember I told you last time to like
Speaker 3: I don't remember you being that big.
Speaker 2: I see pictures and I'm like, what you're like throwing.
Speaker 3: Your photoshop them right now? Like but you know you just.
Speaker 2: Said, let's you guysn't call me fat all day long?
Speaker 2: Can you call me ugly?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: No, you can't, No you can't you know and.
Speaker 3: No, even like you know what's crazy. I feel like
Speaker 3: I used to get hit on more though back then
Speaker 3: I feel like than I do.
Speaker 1: Now, maybe because I have a man, but I was
Speaker 1: in some ways more physically confident is bigger than now
Speaker 1: that I'm like, I walked in like insecurities now because
Speaker 1: now it's like I now I can I feel confident
Speaker 1: with wearing sleeveless shirts, but then like my loose skin
Speaker 1: because of my arms.
Speaker 3: Just saying I was like resting up for this, I
Speaker 3: was like, no, like I need to have some kind
Speaker 3: of leave that, you know, and surgery can't fix it
Speaker 3: all you guys, it's it's you also have to fix
Speaker 3: your head first, you know.
Speaker 1: YEA love who you are inside, and it makes you
Speaker 1: radiate different. Too many people focus on wanting to fix themselves,
Speaker 1: like on the exterior and don't take care of this
Speaker 1: and this, and then it's just it's just.
Speaker 3: Then they have body for the rest of our life exactly.
Speaker 3: And so it's honestly, it does irritate me because obviously,
Speaker 3: I really I am a common person. I go on
Speaker 3: people like I grow even with you when you post
Speaker 3: something I like, I've seen you pictures like oh I
Speaker 3: don't like this, you know, you know, but I'm very like.
Speaker 3: But I also because I start thinking about what everyone
Speaker 3: says and I'm just like, oh my gosh, but I
Speaker 3: hate them. People are like Oh, you have money, you
Speaker 3: can go do this, you said, or she's probably lying,
Speaker 3: she did all this, this this, No, it's just it's
Speaker 3: once you once you got like into this journey and
Speaker 3: everything and you start loving yourself, it's very different and you're.
Speaker 1: Yes, truly accepting who you are and being okay with
Speaker 1: expressing things and mistakes, past mistakes or whatever. Like that's
Speaker 1: when you know, like I've reached the point of really
Speaker 1: loving who I am and not having to do and
Speaker 1: say and act certain ways to make other people happy.
Speaker 1: It's like I'm really soul searching and seeking to be
Speaker 1: the best version of myself that even if I do
Speaker 1: have a little bit of loose kin like I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's like I'm.
Speaker 3: All for I'm off here here and I'm all for surgery.
Speaker 3: I also work for a surgery center. Outside of people,
Speaker 3: go for it, do it if you can do it,
Speaker 3: but do it for yourself. One don't ever do it
Speaker 3: for a man, because if the regardless you know what
Speaker 3: I mean, do it for yourself. It's if it's going
Speaker 3: to make you feel better, but make sure you're you're
Speaker 3: you're okay here, because that is the most important thing ever,
Speaker 3: you know, So.
Speaker 1: So yeah, share your socials with people so that they
Speaker 1: can follow you.
Speaker 3: And my Instagram is I am me a podcast my
Speaker 3: only fans, I'm just okkay No, my TikTok is I
Speaker 3: am Mia Vargas eight one A, So I am right,
Speaker 3: I am I A. Yeah, I am Mia Vargas and
Speaker 3: then just the TikTok one is with eight one A.
Speaker 2: Okay, oh nice?
Speaker 1: All right, well, Mia, thank you so much for being
Speaker 1: on the podcast, for being such an open book. I
Speaker 1: know that this will help a lot of people that
Speaker 1: I feel like maybe haven't even come out yet and
Speaker 1: are living with this, and maybe they watched this and
Speaker 1: listen to our conversation and they're able to just be
Speaker 1: themselves step into being who they really are meant to be,
Speaker 1: which is my whole thing with this podcast from like,
Speaker 1: I just want to have conversations with real people, and
Speaker 1: you're definitely someone that I've had in my life for
Speaker 1: a long time and I really love and appreciate.
Speaker 2: So thank you so much.
Speaker 1: And before we go, I do want to tell you
Speaker 1: here in front of everyone, but I'm gonna go ahead
Speaker 1: and keep my word and I'm gonna write you a check, bitch,
Speaker 1: because I did tell you, So I'm gonna be the
Speaker 1: Madrina of that Kuci.
Speaker 2: Thank you did, because I did.
Speaker 1: Tell you that I remember exactly where I was at. Yes,
Speaker 1: oh my god, we were drunk and I remember we
Speaker 1: were in the restaurant. That's so funny that you say that,
Speaker 1: because I went back to that moment. I was like,
Speaker 1: I remember and I've always remembered now that you brought
Speaker 1: it up. So I'm a woman on my words. So
Speaker 1: I will write you a check for your retraina.
Speaker 3: I appreciate that. I love bitch.
Speaker 2: Okay, guys, thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 1: I hope that you enjoyed this episode and I will
Speaker 1: catch you on the next episode of Cheeky's and Chill
Speaker 1: see you. This is a production of iHeartRadio and mike
Speaker 1: Wa podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at mike wa
Speaker 1: Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i q
Speaker 1: U y s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.