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Speaker 1: Hello, guys, and welcome to this episode of Cheese and Chill.

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy to have you here. It is June.

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Speaker 1: It is my favorite month. It is my birthday month.

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Speaker 1: And it's also Pride month, you guys. And I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure if you know, but the very first Pride March

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Speaker 1: was in nineteen seventy in New York, you guys. So

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Speaker 1: I'm happy. I'm a huge supporter of the LGBTQ plus community,

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Speaker 1: and so I wanted to have a deep conversation with

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Speaker 1: a friend of mine. Her name is Mia Vargas. She

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Speaker 1: is an influencer, a hairdresser. She's also a cancer and

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Speaker 1: she's a trans woman. And since it is, you know,

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Speaker 1: Pride month, I thought it would be very nice to

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Speaker 1: have a conversation with her because she's a very open

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Speaker 1: book and I love that about her. So how are you, miya?

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Speaker 2: I'm good?

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Speaker 1: How are you? Thank you?

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Speaker 2: Your excited?

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Speaker 1: I know, right. So we're cancer sisters. Your birthday is

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Speaker 1: in July.

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Speaker 2: July fifth, so we're a little different of cancers. You're

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Speaker 2: a different cancer.

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Speaker 1: Than I am. Okay, so what do you Okay, We've

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Speaker 1: I think we've talked about this on the podcast. I'm

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Speaker 1: always talking about this, but there is definitely a difference

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Speaker 1: between June and July cancers. Okay, how do you think

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Speaker 1: that you're different?

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Speaker 2: For me, I and some things were the same. I

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Speaker 2: feel like emotion wise we are, but I feel I

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Speaker 2: don't know, just seeing like certain stuff, I'm like, oh, no,

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Speaker 2: we're a little differ like I don't know, I don't

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Speaker 2: even know how to describe it. But there is a difference.

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Speaker 2: So there's a huge difference because I know your mom

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Speaker 2: with cancer too.

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Speaker 1: But July cancer July second.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's just even the attitude. Yeah, it's very different. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think you guys are a little bit more spicy, yes, right.

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Speaker 2: For sure, more impulsive, yeah, oh, very impulsive, super impassive.

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Speaker 1: And I think a little bit more of like way

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Speaker 1: to say, I'm a different cancer. But still we're wonderful.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh for sure.

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Speaker 1: We're very like, yeah, empathetic, nurturing, very motherly.

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Speaker 2: Right everywhere people are like, oh my gosh, you give

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Speaker 2: me like this mother like instinct.

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Speaker 1: Even my friend, yeah, with you like to take care.

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Speaker 2: Of Yes, even if I'm like, if we're out like

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Speaker 2: partying and I'm like, okay, I feel drunk. I need

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Speaker 2: to calm down because I need to make sure like

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Speaker 2: my friends are good. You know, yeah, I try, you

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Speaker 2: are that. I'm very with anyone. I just I feel

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Speaker 2: so like responsible, I guess.

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Speaker 1: Yeah too, and like talking about that. We've known each

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Speaker 1: other for ten years now, ten years twenty fourteen we met. Yes,

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Speaker 1: should we talk about how we met? We can't, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so go ahead take it away, miya.

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Speaker 2: I started working for your friend Vanessa and I met

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Speaker 2: Remember Norwood Bar at.

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Speaker 1: The Norwood Bar at the Woody. You guys have good

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Speaker 1: times there.

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Speaker 2: I haven't been there in ten years. Yeah, I know.

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Speaker 2: We met there and we just always had a relationship

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Speaker 2: since then.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So when I met Mia, I think you were

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Speaker 1: barely starting.

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Speaker 2: I think I was just like a boy and makeup.

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Speaker 2: I think kind of like more feminine, but yeah, not fully.

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Speaker 2: I don't think. I had just moved here. So I

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Speaker 2: have moved here from the state of Washington. Remember it's

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Speaker 2: very different, yeah, very I had been here for one

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Speaker 2: month and it was it was a like a culture

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Speaker 2: shock in a way, knowing that there's people that are

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Speaker 2: like that, that can be openly happy here, and so

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Speaker 2: I was just getting a taste of that, and I

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Speaker 2: feel like, I started surrounding myself with like with you guys,

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Speaker 2: with people that I knew, and I started feeling comfortable

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Speaker 2: with being who I am. And then I experienced like

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Speaker 2: West Hollywood and all that, and I was like, oh

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Speaker 2: my gosh.

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Speaker 1: Then you became a Hucci.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I became a became for the streets, for.

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Speaker 1: The streets.

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Speaker 2: I love it streets.

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Speaker 1: That's one thing I love about you. You're so open.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna get all into that. But going back to

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Speaker 1: how we met, the reason we were a little hesitant

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Speaker 1: is because I'm still friends with Vanessa me as no

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Speaker 1: longer friends with Vanessa. Actually Vanessa and Ayako Madrees. She's

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Speaker 1: been on the podcast as well. We have Plantita's hair care,

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Speaker 1: which she uses it she loves so even though she

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Speaker 1: doesn't talk to Vanessa and there's no communication.

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Speaker 2: And honestly, I've always I've said it before like I had,

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Speaker 2: there's no hard feelings, no nothing. I'm honestly I am

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Speaker 2: happy for her success and everything she's done. I wanted

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Speaker 2: to work for her. I love, I admire that about her.

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Speaker 2: It's just the relationship didn't work out, and that's fine.

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Speaker 1: How did you work there at her salon?

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Speaker 2: Like four months maybe, Okay, so it was it was

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Speaker 2: it was just it was short. It was a short time,

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Speaker 2: and it was.

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Speaker 1: And then that's how we met and we became really cool,

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Speaker 1: like since the first day I met you, yeah, and

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Speaker 1: then since then we've been friends. And then I think

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Speaker 1: in twenty eighteen you and I had a fallout, yes,

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Speaker 1: which you know, I'm always really straight up with everyone here,

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Speaker 1: So we had a follo out. I think we didn't

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Speaker 1: talk for like what a couple of years.

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Speaker 2: Two year three and twenty twenty if you we kind of.

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Speaker 1: Started talking, like during the pandemic when everyone's heart was

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Speaker 1: really you know, damn, like life might end, and then

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Speaker 1: we kind of started talking. I don't know exactly how,

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Speaker 1: but I never really had an issue with you. I

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Speaker 1: think because we have a very good friend, a mutual friend, yes,

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Speaker 1: very good yeah, yes, so and it's Ellen and a

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Speaker 1: lot of you, like my og boss bees will know.

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Speaker 1: So Ellen and I had a falling out and it

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Speaker 1: just kind of was that thing of like, Okay, you

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Speaker 1: gotta choose sides, I guess in a way, so she

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Speaker 1: kind of stuck with Ellen. There was like a lot

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Speaker 1: of craziness during that time, miscommunication and stuff that we

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Speaker 1: already like clear, there's.

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Speaker 2: Communication for sure, And at the time I was also

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Speaker 2: very close to Ellen, and I just I you know,

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Speaker 2: like you said, like that not that motherly, but I

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Speaker 2: just I needed to stick by her, you know at

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Speaker 2: that time. I'm glad I did. At the end of

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Speaker 2: the day, like and now we're all good again.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you actually brought us together, Yeah, yeah, I did.

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Speaker 1: It was it was me, Yeah, let's go have fun.

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Speaker 1: I love yeah, I love fu.

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Speaker 2: No. Yeah, it was just a miscommunication that had to

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Speaker 2: It should have been a dressed sooner, but it didn't,

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Speaker 2: and things happened for a reason, and you know, she

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Speaker 2: ended up having her baby and everything. Yeah, so little boy,

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Speaker 2: wow everything. I think sometimes in friendships you need little pauses. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and that one was one of them. Man.

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Speaker 1: For sure, I definitely grew. I think everyone kind of

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Speaker 1: stepped into their own and well, anyways, Ellen and I

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Speaker 1: are good. We're all good. So I just kind of

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Speaker 1: wanted to get that out of the way, because yes,

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Speaker 1: I've known her since twenty fourteen, but you know, I

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Speaker 1: always was kind of like I wonder what, you know,

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Speaker 1: what me is doing or whatnot, And I thought it

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Speaker 1: would be perfect, A perfect time for you to come

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Speaker 1: on the podcast because we've talked about it, but since

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Speaker 1: it is Pride month and I think that you're someone

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Speaker 1: that has always been very open about your process. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and I've been there with her, I think through like.

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Speaker 2: Most of it, yeah, most of it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so you're completely transitioned to at this point.

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Speaker 2: Completely one hundred percent. My last surgery was December fourteenth

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Speaker 2: of twenty twenty three. Yeah, so six months now, Okay.

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Speaker 1: And how many surgeries have you had? Because you had the.

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Speaker 2: So I got my breast done, I got my I

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Speaker 2: got I ended up paying a tummy tucks. I had

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Speaker 2: lost weight and our tummy tuck. Then I got light

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Speaker 2: with BBL. I got like with BYBL twice, which now

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Speaker 2: I regret why my as just got too big. I

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Speaker 2: feel like I was like in that like yeah, and

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Speaker 2: now I know you've lost way again. I'm like, damn,

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Speaker 2: like I need to get that fixed right. But and

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Speaker 2: it's a huge in security of mine. But then I

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Speaker 2: got my face. I got my nose done. First, I

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Speaker 2: got my nose done because I had like a bumps.

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Speaker 2: I got my nose done. Then I got my ffs

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Speaker 2: of facial feminization. Surgery, which I.

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Speaker 1: She showed me those very gnarley guys.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like she literally cut from here to here, like

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Speaker 2: pulled down. Yeah, shaved all the inside of my mouth through,

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Speaker 2: like the inside because it feminized, yes, to soften, to

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Speaker 2: soften this bone like right here. Yeah, it was pretty graphic. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: fifteen hour surgery was it?

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Speaker 1: Recovery crazy.

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Speaker 2: I was in the hospital for six days, and I

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Speaker 2: remember like the when I came home, my friends all

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Speaker 2: my I love my friends, all my all my gaze

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Speaker 2: we love the gays. Yes. At that time, I think

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Speaker 2: he was like my friend was you know, Sergio and

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Speaker 2: his x now Leo, they were both like taking care

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Speaker 2: of me and my roommate and other friends were just

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Speaker 2: coming around. And I remember like seven eighth day, I

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Speaker 2: was just like looking at my face and I was

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Speaker 2: like I started crying, like just regretting it, like because

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Speaker 2: I looked fucking scary. It looked it looked bad, yeah,

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Speaker 2: so swollen, like you know, I was like why did

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Speaker 2: I do this? Like and everyone's like I remember before,

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Speaker 2: people are like, don't do it, don't do it, you

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Speaker 2: don't need to do it, you don't need to do it.

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Speaker 2: But I knew what I saw you know, now that

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Speaker 2: I'm like recover, everyone's like, oh my gosh, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: see the different. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I didn't really realize what it was gonna do. But

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Speaker 1: now when I see before and after pictures, I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I get it. Yeah yeah, because it just did refine

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Speaker 1: everything and not just.

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Speaker 2: I just feel like now, like I love wearing makeups.

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Speaker 2: So sometimes yes, I'll be atle heavy or sometimes I'm

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Speaker 2: like more my natural, but I love that I can

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Speaker 2: go natural without looking like masculine, you know, yeah, like

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Speaker 2: I can be softer with that right now?

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Speaker 1: Is it softer your makeup?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Right, it looks pretty like what you're doing.

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Speaker 2: I don't really wear like foundation, It's more like a

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Speaker 2: skin tint now. Okay, yeah, so I like there's still

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Speaker 2: more com for sure, for sure. And then obviously I

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Speaker 2: recovered from that. And then my last surgery was my

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Speaker 2: gender assignment surgery, which I did. You know, honestly, I

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Speaker 2: was like losing hope with that. Oh girl, you were

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Speaker 2: supposed to pay for that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was. Yeah, I was going to tell you.

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Speaker 2: Sent me a check. I did.

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Speaker 1: I told her I was gonna.

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Speaker 2: But we stopped talking. Yeah I was.

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Speaker 1: I told her I said I'm going to help you

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Speaker 1: all pay for it. Yeah, and then we stopped talking

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Speaker 1: and didn't happen. But then how did that go about?

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Speaker 1: Like you so.

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Speaker 2: Look my face, I got it paid. Don't attack me, people,

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Speaker 2: but I got it paid to the state. My face.

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Speaker 2: I did. How bad I did? Because during pandemic, I

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Speaker 2: was like I had qualified for like medical and all that.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, and so they were doing like not they weren't.

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Speaker 2: They were renewing everybody for like three years. So like

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Speaker 2: I was like, you know what, I'm not gonna I'm

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Speaker 2: getting it, Like I'm not gonna, you know, make it

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Speaker 2: a big deal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I ended up getting that this surgery. I did

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Speaker 2: do it through my insurance, with my own insurance. I

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Speaker 2: ended up paying nine thousand out of pocket, which isn't

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Speaker 2: bad because I think the total cost was like one

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Speaker 2: hundred and eighty thousand. Oh wow, States and the States

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Speaker 2: is ridiculous, like and that's why I think people don't

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Speaker 2: do it or they go to like overseas to do it,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, you told me you wanted to go to Bangkok.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and that was a thing. It was a Bangkok,

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Speaker 1: Thailand whatever. I just like saying bankok but okay, yeah.

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Speaker 2: So that was a whole It was like ten grand Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was like ten.

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I got you. Let's backtrack a

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Speaker 1: tiny bit because when did you I've always wondered because

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Speaker 1: I really do feel and some people may disagree with me,

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Speaker 1: but I really do feel that people are born gay too.

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Speaker 1: There's some people that feel that they become gay or

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Speaker 1: maybe they get curious and then they want to try

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Speaker 1: different or the same sex, whatever. But I do really

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Speaker 1: feel and I've had these conversations with Gerald remembers all

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Speaker 1: he told me he knew when he was a little boy,

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Speaker 1: like he was four six years old, and he's like,

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Speaker 1: I had a crush on a boy. Yeah you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. And I have had these conversations and

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Speaker 1: I really do feel that when when did you feel?

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Speaker 1: Or how? How give me your experience? Because I think

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Speaker 1: it's did you ever feel trapped?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Body? Okay, yeah, trapped for sure? And I always

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Speaker 2: I grew up with sisters, right, but I have cousins

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Speaker 2: and everything, like male cousins and everything, but my I

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Speaker 2: always wanted to like dress into their stuff, which, mind you,

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Speaker 2: I think every little boy, regardless does that, right, don't

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Speaker 2: put on their mom's heels to do that, right. But

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Speaker 2: I just like I felt like more like Podosa, I guess,

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Speaker 2: like more like powerful like and I don't know, it

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Speaker 2: was just something in me, but it was something that

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Speaker 2: I felt like I had to hide, like I didn't

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Speaker 2: want no one knowing that or especially be Yeah, well

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Speaker 2: not just not just that you grow up like realistically,

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Speaker 2: you grew up with you, you know, hearing your parents say

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Speaker 2: like a mariicon and stuff like that, so you always

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Speaker 2: have that already, Like I can't be that. You know,

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Speaker 2: you you You're going to be like a disgrace, right.

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Speaker 2: So even just like I remember my mom, like we

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Speaker 2: used to like we used to take care of kids

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Speaker 2: and everything, and I would always want to play house

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh my god, I'm the on' this

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Speaker 2: Like it was just like a horrible game to play

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Speaker 2: as kids. I don't know why we kids want to

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Speaker 2: grow up so fast, right and play house? But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I just always wanted that, Like I always wanted to

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Speaker 2: feel like I was a girl, even like when I

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Speaker 2: was growing up like maybe twelve thirteen, I ended up

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Speaker 2: losing a Virginia at thirteen, very very young, but I

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Speaker 2: just wanted I wanted to see what it was, you know.

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Speaker 2: And but even then, like I would feel like I

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Speaker 2: don't feel manly enough, and I just always I always

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Speaker 2: wanted someone like above me to like hold me, take

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Speaker 2: care of me. But yeah, ever since I was little.

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Speaker 1: I howld were you when you first felt that.

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Speaker 2: Like twelve or thirteen, okay, okay, when you.

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Speaker 1: Were like, oh I felt more, yeah, like you wanted

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Speaker 1: to be held, you want to be protected, okay, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was the thing that I went through.

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Speaker 2: Like I kind of don't like when people say, like,

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Speaker 2: oh they're gay because they were like molested or there

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Speaker 2: were this. I mean that could be a case, you know,

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Speaker 2: but but with you, it was it wasn't. It wasn't

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Speaker 2: that at all. I had a really good childhood and everything.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I always I always felt for sure, I

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Speaker 2: always felt gay, right, I would, because I didn't know

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Speaker 2: what like being trans was or anything like that. You know,

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Speaker 2: it was very very small town. But yeah, I just

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Speaker 2: I always knew.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and when did you realize that you wanted to be?

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Speaker 2: Like so with third so, I want to say I

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Speaker 2: started doing hair when I was like seventeen, right, and

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Speaker 2: then I think like at nineteen twenty, I started wearing

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Speaker 2: like makeup, and then I kind of started just wearing

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Speaker 2: like women's jeans and then just stuff like that. Didn't

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Speaker 2: really know what it was, but there was some There

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Speaker 2: was like one gay club out there was called like

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Speaker 2: out and About. It was literally like forty five fifty

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Speaker 2: minutes away from where we lived, and we would go

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Speaker 2: there once in a while and they would do like

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Speaker 2: drag shows. That's like the only thing I would see

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Speaker 2: like that, you know. So I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: that's so cool, right.

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Speaker 1: And and you felt at home there.

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Speaker 2: I felt at home, yeah, But I also you knew

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Speaker 2: you once you go home. That was like done right,

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Speaker 2: you had to just you know. And but I think

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Speaker 2: I always knew certain stuff, but not I didn't know enough, right.

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Speaker 2: And then I think when I moved Tire, I ended

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Speaker 2: up meeting people. I met, you know, Jia. I ended

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Speaker 2: up meeting her, and then I was like, Okay, she's

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Speaker 2: really happy, like with her life and everything. And I

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Speaker 2: remember someone had referred me to like black market hormones,

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Speaker 2: and I started I did that and for like six months,

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Speaker 2: which was like the worst thing I could ever do.

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Speaker 2: I think I ended up like in the er twice,

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Speaker 2: like I was literally felt like I was obviously I

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Speaker 2: think I was putting too much in. You don't you

331
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Speaker 2: don't know the proper dosage, you don't know what to

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Speaker 2: shoot up right, and you the problem is you see

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Speaker 2: all these people that have transition and they have these

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Speaker 2: nice curve bodies, they have this, and they give like

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00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,440
Speaker 2: this false hope that you transition, you're going to look

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Speaker 2: like this. You don't. Yeah, So then that's when I

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00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,440
Speaker 2: think I started going to like this the LGBT Center.

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Speaker 2: And then that's when I properly was like, Okay, this

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00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,160
Speaker 2: is who I am. And I remember going through like

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Speaker 2: therapy and counseling there and really just finding myself.

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Speaker 1: So there is the LGBT Central Center, Okay, yeah, because

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Speaker 1: I mean, I mean I definitely I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you want to tell them, but yeah, like not to

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Speaker 1: go through the black market, because don't it is so scary.

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Speaker 2: You do not don't get butt shots, don't do none

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Speaker 2: of that. Like honestly, like take your time and transitioning.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of people that I looked up too

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Speaker 2: that I was just like, oh my gosh, there looks

349
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,840
Speaker 2: so good. In this and then they would say, oh,

350
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,800
Speaker 2: it's the hormones, it's this, it's this. No, it's not

351
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,000
Speaker 2: their liars because now they all have come out with

352
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Speaker 2: videos like and these are like YouTubers like oh wow,

353
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Speaker 2: and I don't want to say their names.

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Speaker 1: I can stand no no more.

355
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Speaker 2: But like I I was given that false like oh

356
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Speaker 2: my gosh, and I know I got on black market

357
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Speaker 2: hormones because of these people sometimes, you know, and now

358
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,239
Speaker 2: they all came out like oh my silicon butt injections,

359
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,440
Speaker 2: this and that, like don't do that.

360
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Speaker 1: Now start getting infection, infection that's spreading some of them.

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Speaker 2: You can lose your leg, like I had a friend

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Speaker 2: that almost died literally you know, scar, Yeah, don't do that.

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Speaker 1: And in this at the center here that you're talking about,

364
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Speaker 1: they they help finance that stuff a nonprofit.

365
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Speaker 2: Yes it's nonprofit. It's here in Hollywood. And they are

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Speaker 2: the ones that refer you to be honest, like to

367
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Speaker 2: even doctors that will help you get like life will

368
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,800
Speaker 2: bbl like all that stuff. You know, like most of

369
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,760
Speaker 2: the stuff is covered. You know, I didn't know there's

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Speaker 2: a lot of stuff.

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Speaker 1: Being informed you guys.

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00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:23,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, and researching I was able to you know, change

373
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Speaker 2: my name everything like that, through help, through the resources,

374
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Speaker 2: you know, birth certificate everything.

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Speaker 1: So so it's safe to say for sure when you

376
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Speaker 1: moved here in twenty fourteen was when you really just

377
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:38,080
Speaker 1: stepped into Mia completely. Yes, yeah, right because okay, because

378
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,280
Speaker 1: when I met you, your name was different. But when

379
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Speaker 1: you came here, it's like when I feel like you flourished,

380
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,560
Speaker 1: Yeah in every way like fast, yeah.

381
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Speaker 2: I mean it felt fast. Now it feels fast, but

382
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:51,800
Speaker 2: like I did. Take Look, this is my thing now

383
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,400
Speaker 2: with people that are transitioning now again, now, the people

384
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,560
Speaker 2: that are transitioning, I think people some of them are

385
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,440
Speaker 2: seeing it as a trend, which is like sucks because

386
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:03,080
Speaker 2: then then there's the people that are de transitioning because

387
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,720
Speaker 2: they again I think were fed this like oh my gosh,

388
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,760
Speaker 2: i'm gonna look fish. I'm gonna look you know fish

389
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,240
Speaker 2: meaning like girl, you know, like very very girl, like

390
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna look this, I'm gonna look that. So there

391
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:15,119
Speaker 2: are people are transitioning really really fast and then they're like,

392
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Speaker 2: oh shit, that's not who I am. Let me do transition,

393
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Speaker 2: and it's giving us a bad rep because they're like, oh,

394
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Speaker 2: it is a mental illness. It is a sickness. It's

395
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:26,480
Speaker 2: this you know. Yeah, and a lot of these people.

396
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,879
Speaker 2: So look, when I first transitioned, I remember, like the

397
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,680
Speaker 2: restroom issue is a huge thing, right, I remember, like, Okay,

398
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,280
Speaker 2: I started wearing makeup, letting my hair grow out. I

399
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,200
Speaker 2: still would not go into the women's restroom. I if

400
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,359
Speaker 2: it was like a family restroom, I would go in there.

401
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,080
Speaker 2: And if I really had to go, I would just

402
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:47,359
Speaker 2: go into the men's restroom one because I needed everyone

403
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,359
Speaker 2: to feel safe around me, right, Yeah. And nowadays you

404
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,639
Speaker 2: see these people and I'm not coming for anyone, but

405
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,240
Speaker 2: it's just it's a scary world. It's I say, for

406
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 2: the safety of them as well. Yeah, Like if you

407
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:01,440
Speaker 2: can use a public family restore, do that, because there's

408
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 2: people that are transitioning, like all of a sudden day

409
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:06,320
Speaker 2: one I'm trans Then they go into a female restroom

410
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,280
Speaker 2: and like, you just don't know who you're making uncomfortable

411
00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 2: or not, just that the uncomfortable position you're putting yourself in.

412
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Speaker 2: There's crazy people out there that will kill you.

413
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Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's and that's what I was going to

414
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,840
Speaker 1: ask you because I remember when I met you, you

415
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,760
Speaker 1: you had your makeup, your hair, was shorter. So it's

416
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,479
Speaker 1: like and I always wondered, and this is I mean,

417
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 1: this is the first time I ask you, but did

418
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 1: you ever feel scared to go into the men's restrooms?

419
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,439
Speaker 2: That at the airport at Lax one time was like

420
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:38,800
Speaker 2: one of my worst time worst encounters. So I was

421
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,199
Speaker 2: at Lax literally going back home for I think the holidays,

422
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:44,240
Speaker 2: and my hair was still kind of short and everything

423
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:48,120
Speaker 2: full makeup at the airport like literally like over dramatic,

424
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,119
Speaker 2: and I had to like go restrooms so bad, and

425
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,239
Speaker 2: I was like, you know what, fuck, I'm just going

426
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,160
Speaker 2: to run to the men's restroom. Literally, security comes after

427
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,719
Speaker 2: me like banging in the door. You're in the wrong restroom,

428
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,399
Speaker 2: You're in the wrong restroom. They like escorted me, and

429
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 2: I was like, no, I'm not, no, I'm not. Literally

430
00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,720
Speaker 2: I think my idea was still my old name. Everything

431
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,720
Speaker 2: showed them and they're like they didn't even know what

432
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 2: to do about it, like and I was like, I'm

433
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,119
Speaker 2: gonna miss my flight. Luckily, they just like I didn't

434
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,080
Speaker 2: help me there for like five minutes, like you know,

435
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,639
Speaker 2: just be careful. Luckily, the guy was really nice, but

436
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,880
Speaker 2: obviously they were like alerted at first someone told them, like,

437
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:23,399
Speaker 2: you're in the wrong freaking restroom, right, But if I

438
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,719
Speaker 2: would have gone too the women's restroom, what would have happened?

439
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,040
Speaker 2: What I had gotten arrested?

440
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:28,760
Speaker 1: Yeah?

441
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 2: See, you know, and I remember like panicing, like, oh

442
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 2: my gosh, they're making this big old freaking scene.

443
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 1: Like and you probably felt embar embarrassed, embarrassed, and did

444
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 1: other dudes ever look at you like guys, yeah, and

445
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:40,640
Speaker 1: we're kind of like.

446
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,359
Speaker 2: So, I mean I would never go like pee like

447
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 2: on a star or that, I would go into it.

448
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,360
Speaker 2: I would go into not not the yurals, I would

449
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,840
Speaker 2: go into like an actual star, you know. But yeah,

450
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,200
Speaker 2: it was it was scary, and so most of the time,

451
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,960
Speaker 2: like at that time though, I would go party in

452
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,440
Speaker 2: weehole a lot, So it wasn't like I was going

453
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,679
Speaker 2: to like straight places to go party. So we hold you.

454
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 2: It's very going to wherever restroom you.

455
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,640
Speaker 1: Right, okay, but still like at the airport and things

456
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,760
Speaker 1: like that, like I have. It's it's a whole thing,

457
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,600
Speaker 1: and it's like conversations we've had off of camera in

458
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:08,920
Speaker 1: regards to to.

459
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:09,280
Speaker 2: It, like.

460
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,879
Speaker 1: Now now you're fine. Now you got to the women's

461
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 1: restroom and you're totally fine, but when you're transitioning, it's

462
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,440
Speaker 1: just I guess, yes, the safest thing is to find

463
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 1: a family restaurant somewhere.

464
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,440
Speaker 2: Where it is. And I see people arguing all the time,

465
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 2: like I'm a woman, and I'm like, you're not, Like

466
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 2: you're not yet. You need to stop, you need to relax,

467
00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:30,919
Speaker 2: and you need to understand how others feel too, Like

468
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 2: other people have their children in there, like imagine like.

469
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to know your perspective on that, Like

470
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:37,360
Speaker 1: what do you visit?

471
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,560
Speaker 2: People get mad when I'm like, I'm a little trumpy

472
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 2: when it comes to stuff like this. Okay, But because

473
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:48,119
Speaker 2: I feel like in that case, I back then, I

474
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,919
Speaker 2: was very much more vocal like, oh my gosh, rights,

475
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,960
Speaker 2: our rights, our rights. Yes, I do stand for our

476
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,600
Speaker 2: rights one hundred percent, but I also stand for the

477
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 2: safety of others, you know, Like I like I said,

478
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 2: I feel like if you're like day one of your

479
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,800
Speaker 2: transition and you don't not that it's because see, this

480
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,639
Speaker 2: is the kid. The scary part of saying stuff like this,

481
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 2: when you say, oh, you don't look passable, you shouldn't

482
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 2: go in there. No, I'm not coming for you. It's

483
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,359
Speaker 2: just what I'm saying is that people are still going

484
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 2: to look at you as a man. As it is,

485
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 2: people still look at me as a man. I don't

486
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 2: have an issue with it, no one, because I know

487
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 2: I don't look like one, you know, but and I

488
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 2: know the hard work I put into it. And the

489
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 2: thing is that people now they want to transition in

490
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,439
Speaker 2: the second day they are a woman, and you can't.

491
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 2: You have to think about your safety and the risk

492
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 2: you're putting others in as well.

493
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:36,479
Speaker 1: Okay, you know, okay, So so for you, in your opinion,

494
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 1: do you feel that someone that's barely starting their transition

495
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 1: that still look a little bit more male than female,

496
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 1: but they're wearing makeup but don't have their parts like

497
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 1: having transitioned completely, should still go into like if it's

498
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,679
Speaker 1: a male into the male's rest into a man's restaurant.

499
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,520
Speaker 2: It's it's just it's hard. That's why it's hard to

500
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 2: pick and choose. It's super hard to pick and choose

501
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 2: because I'm like, I don't want to say that and

502
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 2: then them get like murder in there, you know what

503
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 2: I mean?

504
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 1: Right, That's what I worry about because if that's why.

505
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 2: I'm saying, like if you can find a family restroom,

506
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,960
Speaker 2: try to do that for your own safety, because then

507
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 2: you just never know. There's weirdos out there. There's people

508
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,040
Speaker 2: like and and and then again people use this whole

509
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 2: thing like oh, that's why, like rape happens because people

510
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 2: are dressing up as women and going into that doesn't happen.

511
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:25,879
Speaker 2: That happens between families unfortunately, right, But like, yeah, I

512
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 2: always tell people, if you can find a family restroom,

513
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 2: do it for your own safety. You know, until you

514
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 2: feel you look more presentable and or you're somewhere that

515
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 2: it's safe, you know, like just look around or ask someone,

516
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,920
Speaker 2: just ask, like you have a family restroom, Like yeah,

517
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 2: it's just now from the experience that I've seen in

518
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 2: the faces that I've gotten, that's why I tell people that.

519
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 1: You've you've I've experienced experienced, you know, and yeah, it's hard.

520
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 2: It's just you know what I feel. I feel bad

521
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 2: saying this, but I feel like we have put in

522
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 2: the work, and there's people like again I'm saying, they

523
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 2: transition all of a sudden, they want all this respect.

524
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 2: I've actually put in the work. We put in the

525
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 2: work to consider ourselves trans women, you know, and say

526
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,400
Speaker 2: like I've done my part, you.

527
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,160
Speaker 1: Know, because you feel now more than ever that there

528
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,399
Speaker 1: are people that are giving trans a bad names. Yes,

529
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 1: it's not really going through the entire process.

530
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they feel so entitled. And also the people

531
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 2: that are getting recognized that are becoming the face of

532
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 2: the community, you know, and that's bad for them to

533
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 2: be the face, because that's not who we are, that's

534
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 2: not who we represent, you know.

535
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: Yeah. And that's one thing that I like about you

536
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,120
Speaker 1: is that you've been very open about your entire process

537
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: and your beliefs are are very different, I feel in

538
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 1: a good way though, you know, you're very honest. Yeah,

539
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 1: and I think that can also that's that's going to

540
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 1: give the community more longevity and more respect if there

541
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 1: are people that really like this. This is my true identity,

542
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,680
Speaker 1: and I take it seriously and I'm not only just

543
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 1: like fighting for my rights, but like you said, for

544
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 1: everyone's safety, and because at the end of the day,

545
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,879
Speaker 1: it's your choice, and it's like it still makes other

546
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 1: people uncomfortable, so you're also thinking about them or children

547
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 1: that you know. I always say, speak to your kids,

548
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,479
Speaker 1: be honest about what's going on in the world about

549
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 1: gay and the whole community.

550
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,439
Speaker 2: Everything starts at home. Everything starts at home. Like you

551
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,160
Speaker 2: see these some of these kids, like the way they speak,

552
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's because of their parents, you know, Like

553
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 2: it's like kids like it can go anywhay, Like when

554
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:36,679
Speaker 2: kids wear like gain attire clothing like what they have

555
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,919
Speaker 2: at home. You know what I mean. You teach your

556
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,919
Speaker 2: kids love and respect at home, and that goes a

557
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 2: long way. Yeah, right, And yeah, you have to like

558
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,880
Speaker 2: when people say, oh, I don't like kids seeing two

559
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 2: boys kissing or two girls. Teach your kids about love.

560
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,320
Speaker 2: That's all it is, you know. And like I said,

561
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,679
Speaker 2: all that starts at home. Yeah, and you have to

562
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 2: be open with.

563
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: Your kids about it because if not, they're going to

564
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,639
Speaker 1: see it. Especially now with social media. I feel like

565
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 1: I'd rather my kids come to me and say, hey,

566
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 1: what's let me explain it to you. Let me show

567
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 1: you how children are born or how they're made, and

568
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,320
Speaker 1: and these are people's choices and this is what it is.

569
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,119
Speaker 1: And as my personal opinion.

570
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 2: If your kids want to express themselves, let them express themselves.

571
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 2: You know. Like when I things I don't like seeing

572
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 2: obviously is like I remember one time I was like, oh,

573
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 2: this is like five years ago, and Charlotte Ruis was

574
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 2: still open. This little boy was like, oh you could

575
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 2: arrest those like these shoes, like and he was innocent,

576
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 2: like just when the dad pulled them up, like I'm like,

577
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 2: that's so fucked up. But I was like, you know what,

578
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 2: my kid now, my kid, I'm not a parent. And

579
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 2: that's one thing I sucks when I try to tell

580
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 2: people something because I like, well, you're not a parent.

581
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 2: I know I'm not, but like I'm just saying, teachers,

582
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,399
Speaker 2: it's about love, yeah, and just don't be you know,

583
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 2: it's maybe it's a face. He just wanted to try

584
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 2: that shoe on, that it.

585
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:52,119
Speaker 1: Happened, and saying stuff like that, and especially you know

586
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 1: because liquor even like those are words of they haunt you.

587
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,439
Speaker 1: They haunt you. Yeah, exactly, even if what if he

588
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,120
Speaker 1: is the little boy is.

589
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 2: And now he's growing up thinking like damn, I can

590
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,199
Speaker 2: never be because my dad just traumatized me in at

591
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 2: the mall.

592
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:12,040
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, how did your dad take it?

593
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,239
Speaker 2: You know? I remember like telling my parents I was

594
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 2: I started up, I was by and they're like whatever, right,

595
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 2: there's still hope, you know. And then and then I

596
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 2: came out as gay, and then I don't think they

597
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 2: really said much after that. And then I remember when

598
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 2: I started transitioning. I told my mom first I was

599
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 2: already living here, and you know, my mom was like

600
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:35,679
Speaker 2: yes and this and this and that, you know. And

601
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 2: at that point, I think I had already built them

602
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,719
Speaker 2: up to like not care about certain stuff because I

603
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 2: felt like I was a black sheep in my family,

604
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 2: that I was very different. I'm very outspoken, and I

605
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 2: was I was thinking I was building her up for that.

606
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,679
Speaker 2: And then I remember at one point when I was

607
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 2: like telling her, like, you can't call me that anymore, like,

608
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 2: and I stopped talking to her for a moment. Right,

609
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,399
Speaker 2: It was like a heart a month, and I just

610
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 2: I couldn't give in. I could. I had to like

611
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 2: not teach her lesson, but tell her like, I love you,

612
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 2: but this is who I am now.

613
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 1: Right.

614
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,919
Speaker 2: So then I remember having I told her, you need

615
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,159
Speaker 2: to tell my dad because I didn't want to say it.

616
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,920
Speaker 2: He was very very like I used to go hunting

617
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 2: with him, like I used to do a lot of

618
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 2: like very much, yes, very very much. He's that, you know,

619
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 2: And I remember going back.

620
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine you're asked hunting girl.

621
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:26,640
Speaker 2: I used to hunt. I used to choose fish. Oh wow,

622
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 2: I'm very handy. Like when it comes to like building stuff, yeah,

623
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:31,399
Speaker 2: I used to. Yeah. My friends always like, okay, you

624
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 2: can have me building something.

625
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 1: And she's a badass baker, you guys make she makes

626
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 1: this bomb ass banana some freaking oh please.

627
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 2: Yeah.

628
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,440
Speaker 1: So it's the bed. It's so moist banana chocolate chip,

629
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 1: banana chocolate chip.

630
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 2: I got it out of this like old ass book

631
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 2: that I found. It's a good will.

632
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 1: Literally really, yes, it was literally a socious book.

633
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:52,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, so good. So then okay, So I was going

634
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:54,640
Speaker 2: to go back home to my cousins kin Signetta, which

635
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 2: is my dad's brother's daughters Skins Signetta, right, and I

636
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 2: still had no boobs thing yet, but I was already

637
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 2: like wearing long hair and everything. And then I remember

638
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:07,119
Speaker 2: like telling my mom like did you tell my dad?

639
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 2: It's like yeah, I told him. I told him, don't

640
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 2: you know, it's fine, it's fine. I remember getting ready

641
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 2: going to this we're getting we're going there, and my

642
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 2: sister in her car. I remember just like I started bawling.

643
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 2: The only thing I was ever scared of my dad,

644
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,479
Speaker 2: is him feeling some type of way of my family

645
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 2: saying something to him about me, like making him feel

646
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,880
Speaker 2: less up or making him feel like he failed as

647
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 2: a parent. That was what I was scared. I'm the baby,

648
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 2: I'm the only boy. It was the only boy. It

649
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,360
Speaker 2: was the only boy. Yeah, like that was his baby, right,

650
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 2: And I know his in his wallet he still has

651
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 2: a picture of me like when I was a little boy,

652
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 2: Like he always has that picture, like he still has

653
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 2: it to this day. But I remember that was like

654
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 2: my biggest fear was just like what my if my

655
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 2: family would have said something to him.

656
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I I remember to cause him pain because

657
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 1: of yeah.

658
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,360
Speaker 2: Right, So I remember like I was hyper ventilated like

659
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 2: a I just like, no, you're fine, You're fine, You're fine.

660
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 2: I just come, just come. And I remember just like

661
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 2: walking because I think I landed the day before and

662
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 2: I didn't go see them. And I saw my mom

663
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 2: only in the morning because I think I curled her

664
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 2: hair for the So yeah, I hadn't seen my dad

665
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 2: though at all. And this he really hadn't seen.

666
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 1: Much, you know, seeing like you're you as a woman.

667
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 2: Yes, And I remember I wore a black dress and uh, yeah,

668
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 2: it was. I kept walking in though, I was like,

669
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, okay, everyone was looking everyone, everyone, everyone,

670
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 2: all my dad's family was there, Washington, Washington. Yeah. And

671
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 2: I started saying hi to some people that were kind

672
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 2: of that. I whatever skipped a lot of my family,

673
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 2: and then I got to my more My parents were

674
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 2: and I said, I said hi, and like nothing.

675
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 1: He was fine.

676
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 2: He was fine.

677
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 1: And that's always because does he know you you did compla.

678
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 2: Not the last surgery, the last surgery. My mom knows

679
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 2: about it. My family knows about it, but I never

680
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 2: told him. I just think that's like a weird conversation

681
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 2: to him. So I'm like, you know, maybe if he

682
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 2: still feels like some thing, let him feel that, you know, like, yeah,

683
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 2: let me not take everything away from him, you know.

684
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: Right right. No, I get that because I mean it

685
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: must be hard for parents, you know, because for them

686
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 1: it's like they have especially because you were the only boy.

687
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 1: He had these dreams and stuff like that. You guys

688
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 1: went hunting and all this. But I mean it's beautiful

689
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 1: to see that your parents, your parents love you enough

690
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 1: to say.

691
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,600
Speaker 2: I just want her to be happy. Yeah, I remember, like.

692
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 1: And now your mom calls you by me yes, oh yeah.

693
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah only yeah, and my fad some of my cousins,

694
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 2: they'll try to call me my old name and they'll

695
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:34,239
Speaker 2: be like, oh, that's all I've known you. I'm like,

696
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 2: if my mom has to call me my new name,

697
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 2: so you if you don't, I'm done with you. Like

698
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 2: I am at that cut off. I'm cutting off people

699
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 2: because you expect me. Yes, why why should you get

700
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 2: that chance to call me that when I don't even

701
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 2: let my mom call me that?

702
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 1: You know, that makes sense? Absolutely? And what's your dad

703
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 1: call you?

704
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 2: So?

705
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 1: No?

706
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 2: No, no, no, so they call me my mom calls.

707
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: You by Mia.

708
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 2: But like one time I got there, I like today

709
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 2: from the airport like all glam so ever since then,

710
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 2: my dads like, oh yeah, so I'm like, okay, whatever,

711
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 2: so he.

712
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 1: Calls you, yeah, does he call you MIHW or anything

713
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 1: like that.

714
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 2: I don't like You'll just be like okay, I mean.

715
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 1: Whatever better than yeah my old name.

716
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I like that.

717
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 1: I know everyone's like in Washington everything that you go

718
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 1: back there, you're fine.

719
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 2: You don't like a little local celebrity to them, you know. No,

720
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 2: it's honestly, I love when I go out there just

721
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 2: seeing like old people that I used to like associate

722
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,120
Speaker 2: myself like friends back then. It's fun, you know. But yeah,

723
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 2: like people still trip out and.

724
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, but do you feel like it's getting better?

725
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,719
Speaker 2: I feel like it is. Like I saw they had

726
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 2: a Pride recently, like a Pride festival like two weeks ago,

727
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 2: and I mean, like like any other Pride festival, there's

728
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 2: people outside protesting of course, you know, but like it's

729
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 2: it's come a long way.

730
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely feel like it's more accepted, I guess now.

731
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 1: And I think that that's a beautiful thing.

732
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 2: The thing is that when people when I say Washington,

733
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 2: everyone assumes Seattle. I'm not from Seattle. Seattle is three

734
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 2: hours up north from US. We are in the lower part,

735
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 2: so we're like in all the farm area, which is

736
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:20,520
Speaker 2: very conservative. That's the conservative part, the part that makes

737
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 2: Washington a Democrat state. Seattle, which is a tiny corner

738
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 2: but it's obviously overpopulated. That's the only thing. The rest

739
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,960
Speaker 2: of it is so conservative. We're also borderline to Idaho,

740
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 2: you know. Yeah, so it's all farm people, you know,

741
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 2: so that's very close minded, you know, but they come along.

742
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 1: Way but it's they're coming a long way, and I'm

743
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: glad that you probably say that's where I'm from.

744
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 2: That's where I never deny where I'm from. I always say, like,

745
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 2: I'm from Washington, small little town, grand View, and born

746
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 2: and raised around there. So I love.

747
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 1: That you have to be proud of where you come from.

748
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, what do you feel is

749
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: that it has been the most difficult part of your transition,

750
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 1: is there or has it just been like do you

751
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 1: finally feel like, oh I'm whole.

752
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 2: I'm mean, I feel whole. I feel one hundred percent whole.

753
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 2: But one thing I always thought, you don't need the

754
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 2: surch you don't need the last surgery like to feel whole.

755
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 2: Right for me, I did, But then after this surgery,

756
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 2: I did have to be like, Okay, now I have

757
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 2: to fully accept myself because even though that surgery was done,

758
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 2: you know, you're still I been anesthesia kind of whereas

759
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 2: in and out of your body where you're kind of like, oh,

760
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 2: like you start questioning certain stuff, right, yeah, But now

761
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 2: I was like, I think, like two months ago, I

762
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 2: was like, you know, I really do have to feel

763
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 2: one hundred percent myself. And I did I did, like

764
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 2: some soul searching. I was like, okay, this, I don't

765
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 2: need a man. I don't need I just needed to

766
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 2: feel whole myself. And once I accepted that, I was like, Okay,

767
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 2: I feel good.

768
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 1: You feel fine? Yeah, because you want to get married, right, yeah?

769
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:57,239
Speaker 2: I do. Yeah, I do want to not right now,

770
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 2: I'm going to have a hot girl summer but.

771
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:00,959
Speaker 1: Nice Yes, hot girl summer summer.

772
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, the cat in full effect. But you know, like

773
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,839
Speaker 2: I would love that. I would love that.

774
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 1: You know, do you feel now that you're completely transitioned,

775
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 1: would you still tell someone oh I'm trans or like

776
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 1: the guy that you meet?

777
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 2: Yes, but not right there. Also, this is the thing

778
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 2: with me and people. I don't go around like say

779
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 2: I'm at a bar and you're like, oh so so

780
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,399
Speaker 2: I don't say that cahi ama, I'm trans Okay, never

781
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 2: do that one. You never know. It is safety, You're

782
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 2: safety again. Yes, never know how people, Yes, but always

783
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 2: do tell. If anything, I'm not going to go home

784
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:37,239
Speaker 2: and hook up with this guy, I will get their number.

785
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh, let's just change numbers, or I'll

786
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 2: get my social media or something like that. Sometimes I'm

787
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 2: very like about social media, because I'm like, where if

788
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 2: they go far back? I have archived so much stuff now.

789
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,839
Speaker 2: But because again I don't know people haunting me with

790
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 2: old pictures or stuff like that, you know, But I

791
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 2: will tell them if I if I see the conversations

792
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 2: going somewhere with them, like it's not just a dumb converce.

793
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, just so you know I am. You know,

794
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 2: I'm transgender thissiness, and that explain, you know, if they

795
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 2: don't know it. Sometimes it's like, oh, I'm cool with that.

796
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,279
Speaker 2: You want to fuck then I'm like, okay, I'm done

797
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 2: with this conversation too, you know now I'm done with

798
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 2: that conversation. Yeah yeah, but yeah, I always you have

799
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 2: to tell people. You have to be one hundred percent

800
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:24,919
Speaker 2: no no, And I hear these stories and I don't.

801
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,319
Speaker 2: I don't want to say that's why some people people

802
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 2: get killed, but that is that's one of the reasons.

803
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 2: Or some people also can't stand that they knew that

804
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 2: they slept with someone that's trans so they end up

805
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 2: killing them. But always disclose that and always make sure

806
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:39,239
Speaker 2: that people know who you're with. I told all my

807
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 2: friends like, hey, I've been with this person or this

808
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 2: person's coming over, Like I'll send pictures some of what

809
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 2: they look like or whatever, just in case, just in

810
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,760
Speaker 2: case my location, I share it with like thirty people. Yeah,

811
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 2: you know, like you have.

812
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 1: To safeties first, and I think always being honest and

813
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 1: upfront so that you don't mislead anybody in all the best,

814
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 1: so that you're safe and they're safe and they have

815
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 1: at least a chance and the opportunity to say yes

816
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 1: or no. Exactly. Okay, So before we go, I do

817
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:09,799
Speaker 1: want to ask because on your social media, what I

818
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 1: love too is that you're you come across as a

819
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,799
Speaker 1: very confident woman, and I think that you can be

820
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 1: of a you know, an inspiration to people in the community.

821
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 1: Where do you think that that confidence comes from? Has

822
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 1: it always been there? Is it something? Is it a front?

823
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,959
Speaker 1: Is it something now that you really feel because you

824
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 1: you're like, this is why I love that. But I mean,

825
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 1: I've been honest about how I used to portray myself

826
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 1: and how I thought I was confident, But it wasn't

827
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:38,880
Speaker 1: really confident.

828
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:40,799
Speaker 2: It was. I have to say that about you too, though,

829
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 2: Yeah it was, it was, it wasn't. I feel like

830
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 2: I've had to portray that, like I had to portray

831
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 2: that I was very confident, and I or my friends

832
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 2: always telling me like, you're so strong, you're so there's

833
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:55,360
Speaker 2: what you know, you shouldn't have an issue, and it

834
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 2: would make me cry because I would just feel like,

835
00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 2: you guys fucking think that. But I'm not not like

836
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 2: I's it's a front. It's something that so I don't

837
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 2: feel torn down. I don't feel like you can get

838
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:06,279
Speaker 2: to me.

839
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I'll give you the satisy.

840
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, So what happened? I want to say, Like

841
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 2: twenty sixteen, I remember I had posted like that whole

842
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 2: picture with like the slurs like all over my body,

843
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 2: and then Kylie Jenner had reposted it, right, and that

844
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 2: was the beginning of like the hate. I feel like,

845
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,759
Speaker 2: the like go kill yourself, Go do this, go do that.

846
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:28,399
Speaker 2: And that's where I feel like I had to become

847
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:32,000
Speaker 2: even more confident, more stronger, and act like it didn't

848
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 2: hurt me, but it did so for I do feel

849
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:39,359
Speaker 2: up until like twenty twenty is when I started kind

850
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 2: of being more in tune of my feelings. And then

851
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 2: I did stop posting a lot. I I used to

852
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 2: post like three four times a week, and now it's

853
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:49,919
Speaker 2: like rare when I like, I'll post like once every

854
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 2: two three weeks. You know, I do post on my

855
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 2: story a lot, but I I am scared of what

856
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 2: people say sometimes and I am stronger, but I am

857
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 2: more in tune my things. I know I have to

858
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:02,960
Speaker 2: you have to read those comments. Sometimes you have to

859
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:05,399
Speaker 2: read the hate, right. But I now I know they

860
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:07,959
Speaker 2: can't bring me down. But before it was all up front,

861
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 2: it was all like, that's what I have to be.

862
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:12,360
Speaker 2: I have to show people I'm a strong bitch. You

863
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:14,279
Speaker 2: can't get to me, you can tell me off, you

864
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,879
Speaker 2: can say whatever you want. But I'm a strong bitch.

865
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:18,399
Speaker 2: But I wasn't.

866
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I completely agree with that because.

867
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 2: It can with you. You know, you went through so

868
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:25,479
Speaker 2: much hate the first I.

869
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 1: Really I've experienced bullying since I was little about my weight,

870
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 1: and then I came into this world, in this industry,

871
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 1: and I just felt like I always felt beautiful, and

872
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 1: I felt like I never knew that I was big.

873
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 1: I only knew that I was fat because people would

874
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: tell me, oh, you're so fat, you come out on TV.

875
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 1: You shouldn't like so many things, and then I would

876
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, I guess I am, but

877
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 1: I felt so it was just thinking of like I'm

878
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 1: not gonna let you guys get to me. I'm strong

879
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:53,839
Speaker 1: and I know what I am inside my heart and

880
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 1: now like it's it's this thing of like I know

881
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,800
Speaker 1: who I am in my core, so you know what

882
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 1: I mean. But it was it was hard.

883
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 2: Okay, now that you've lost weight, you went on this

884
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 2: like healthy journey right like you, I'm sure you do

885
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,920
Speaker 2: feel though sometimes like oh now there's things that I

886
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 2: don't like. It's it's you're never gonna win that though,

887
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 2: because I remember I told you last time to like

888
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 2: I don't remember you being that big.

889
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 1: I see pictures and I'm like, what you're like throwing.

890
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 2: Your photoshop them right now? Like but you know you just.

891
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 1: Let's you guysn't call me fat all day long? Can

892
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:31,399
Speaker 1: you call me ugly?

893
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 2: No?

894
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 1: No you can't.

895
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:35,880
Speaker 2: No you can't you know and no, even like you

896
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 2: know what's crazy. I feel like I used to get

897
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 2: hit on more though back then I feel like than

898
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 2: I do.

899
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,239
Speaker 1: Now, maybe because I have a man, but I was

900
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:47,759
Speaker 1: in some ways more physically confident is bigger than now

901
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 1: that I'm like I walked in like insecurities now because

902
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 1: now it's like I now I can I feel confident

903
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,399
Speaker 1: with wearing sleeveless shirts, but then like my loose skin

904
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:57,719
Speaker 1: because of my arms.

905
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 2: Just saying I was like resting up for this, I

906
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 2: was like, no, like I need to have some kind

907
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 2: of leave that, you know, and surgery can't fix it

908
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:06,879
Speaker 2: all you guys, it's it's you also have to fix

909
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 2: your head first, you know.

910
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 1: YEA love who you are inside, and it makes you

911
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 1: radiate different. Too many people focus on wanting to fix themselves,

912
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 1: like on the exterior and don't take care of this

913
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,880
Speaker 1: and this, and then it's just it's just.

914
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 2: Then they have body for the rest of our life exactly.

915
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:29,440
Speaker 2: And so it's honestly, it does irritate me because obviously

916
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:32,239
Speaker 2: I am a common person. I go on people like

917
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 2: I grow even with you when you post something I like,

918
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 2: I've seen you pictures like oh I don't like this,

919
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:40,080
Speaker 2: you know, you know, but I'm very like. But I

920
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 2: also because I start thinking about what everyone says, and

921
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 2: I'm just like, oh my gosh, but I hate them.

922
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 2: People are like, oh, you have money, you can go

923
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:48,640
Speaker 2: do this, you said, or she's probably lying, she did

924
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 2: all this, this, this no It's just it's once you

925
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 2: once you got like into this journey and everything and

926
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 2: you start loving yourself, it's very different and you're.

927
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 1: Yes, truly accepting who you are and being okay with

928
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:09,239
Speaker 1: expressing things and mistakes, past mistakes or whatever. Like that's

929
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 1: when you know, like I've reached the point of really

930
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 1: loving who I am and not having to do and

931
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:17,360
Speaker 1: say and act certain ways to make other people happy.

932
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 1: It's like I'm really soul searching and seeking to be

933
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: the best version of myself that even if I do

934
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 1: have a little bit of loose kin like I don't know,

935
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 1: it's like, I'm.

936
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,760
Speaker 2: All for I'm off here here and I'm all for surgery.

937
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:32,800
Speaker 2: I also work for a surgery center. Outside of people,

938
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 2: go for it, do it if you can do it,

939
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 2: but do it for yourself. One don't ever do it

940
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:41,239
Speaker 2: for a man because if the regardless you know what

941
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:43,239
Speaker 2: I mean, do it for yourself. It's if it's going

942
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,719
Speaker 2: to make you feel better, but make sure you're you're

943
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 2: you're okay here because that is the most important thing ever,

944
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 2: you know.

945
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 1: So so yeah, share your socials with people so that

946
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 1: they can follow you.

947
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 2: And my Instagram is I am me a podcast my

948
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 2: only fans, I'm just okkay, no, my TikTok is I

949
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 2: am Mia Vargas eight one A, so I am right,

950
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 2: I am I A. Yeah, I am Mia Vargas. And

951
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 2: then just the TikTok one is with eight one A.

952
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:14,319
Speaker 1: Okay, oh nice, all right, well, Mia, thank you so

953
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 1: much for being on the podcast, for being such an

954
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,439
Speaker 1: open book. I know that this will help a lot

955
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 1: of people that I feel like maybe haven't even come

956
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 1: out yet and are living with this, and maybe they

957
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:29,279
Speaker 1: watched this and listen to our conversation and they're able

958
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,440
Speaker 1: to just be themselves step into being who they really

959
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,360
Speaker 1: are meant to be, which is my whole thing with

960
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,839
Speaker 1: this podcast from like, I just want to have conversations

961
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 1: with real people, and you're definitely someone that I've had

962
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:42,799
Speaker 1: in my life for a long time and I really

963
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,760
Speaker 1: love and appreciate. So thank you so much. And before

964
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:47,880
Speaker 1: we go, I do want to tell you here in

965
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 1: front of everyone, but I'm gonna go ahead and keep

966
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 1: my word, and I'm gonna write you a check, bitch,

967
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 1: because I did tell you. So I'm gonna be the

968
00:42:56,160 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 1: Madrina of that Kuci. Thank you did because I did

969
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 1: tell you that I remember exactly where I was at. Yes,

970
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 1: oh my god, we were drunk and I remember we

971
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 1: were in the restaurant. That's so funny that you say that,

972
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 1: because I went back to that moment. I was like,

973
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 1: I remember and I've always remembered, now that you brought

974
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 1: it up. So I'm a woman on my word. So

975
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,080
Speaker 1: I will write you a check for your retraina.

976
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:23,320
Speaker 2: I appreciate that, bitch.

977
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,439
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, thank you so much for listening. I hope

978
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 1: that you enjoyed this episode and I will catch you

979
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 1: on the next episode of Cheeky's and Chill see you.

980
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 1: This is a production of iHeartRadio and mike Wa podcast Network.

981
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:44,720
Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at mike wa Podcasts and follow

982
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:48,200
Speaker 1: me Cheeky's That's c h i q u y s.

983
00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

984
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your favorite shows.