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Speaker 1: Hello, guys, and welcome to this episode of Cheee'e and Chill.

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy to have you here.

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Speaker 2: It is June.

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Speaker 1: It is my favorite month. It is my birthday month.

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Speaker 1: And it's also Pride month, you guys. And I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure if you know, but the very first Pride March

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Speaker 1: was in nineteen seventy in New York, you guys.

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Speaker 2: So I'm happy.

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Speaker 1: I'm a huge supporter of the LGBTQ plus community, and

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Speaker 1: so I wanted to have a deep conversation with a

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Speaker 1: friend of mine. Her name is Mia Vargas. She is

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Speaker 1: an influencer, a hairdresser. She's also a cancer and she's

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Speaker 1: a trans woman. And since it is, you know, Pride month,

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Speaker 1: I thought it would be very nice to have a

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Speaker 1: conversation with her because she's a very open book and

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Speaker 1: I love that about her.

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Speaker 2: So how are you, miya?

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Speaker 3: I'm good, how are you? Thank you?

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Speaker 2: Your excited? I know, right. So we're cancer sisters. Your

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Speaker 2: birthday is in July.

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Speaker 3: July fifth, so we're a little different of cancers. You're

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Speaker 3: a different cancer.

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Speaker 2: Than I am.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so what do you Okay? We've I think we've

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Speaker 1: talked about this on the podcasts. I'm always talking about this,

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Speaker 1: but there is definitely a difference between June and July cancers.

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Speaker 2: Okay, how do you think that you're different?

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Speaker 3: For me, I and some things were the same. I

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Speaker 3: feel like emotion wise we are, but I feel I

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Speaker 3: don't know, just seeing like certain stuff, I'm like, oh no,

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Speaker 3: we're a little differ, like I don't know, I don't

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Speaker 3: even know how to describe it, but there is a difference.

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Speaker 3: So there's a huge difference because I know your mom

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Speaker 3: with cancer too.

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Speaker 2: But July cancer July second.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's just even the attitude. Yeah, it's very different. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think you guys are a little bit more spicy, yes, right.

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Speaker 3: For sure, more impulsive, yeah, oh, very impulsive, super impassive.

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Speaker 1: And I think a little bit more of like way

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Speaker 1: to say, I'm a different cancer.

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Speaker 2: But still we're wonderful.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, oh for sure.

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Speaker 1: We're very like, yeah, empathetic, nurturing, very motherly.

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Speaker 3: Right everywhere people are like, oh my gosh, you give

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Speaker 3: me like this mother like instinct.

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Speaker 2: Even my friend, yeah, with you like to take care.

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Speaker 3: Of Yes, even if I'm like if we're out like partying,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, okay, I feel drunk. I need to

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Speaker 3: calm down because I need to make sure like my

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Speaker 3: friends are good. You know, Yeah, I trd you aren't that.

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Speaker 3: I'm very with anyone. I just I feel so like responsible,

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Speaker 3: I guess.

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Speaker 1: Yeah too, And like talking about that we've known each

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Speaker 1: other for ten years now, ten years twenty fourteen we met, Yes,

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Speaker 1: should we talk about how we met? We can't, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so go ahead take it away, miya.

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Speaker 3: I started working for your friend Vanessa and I met

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Speaker 3: remember Norwood Bar, at.

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Speaker 2: The Norwood Bar at the Woody. You guys have good

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Speaker 2: times there.

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Speaker 3: I haven't been there in ten years. Yeah, I know,

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Speaker 3: we met there and we just always had a relationship

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Speaker 3: since then.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So when I met Mia, I think you were barely starting.

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Speaker 3: I think I was just like a boy and makeup.

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Speaker 3: I think kind of like more feminine, but yeah, not fully.

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Speaker 3: I don't think. I had just moved here. So I

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Speaker 3: have moved here from the state of Washington. Remember it's

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Speaker 3: very different, yeah, very I had been here for one

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Speaker 3: month and it was it was a like a culture

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Speaker 3: shock in a way, knowing that there's people that are

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Speaker 3: like that that can be openly happy here, and so

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Speaker 3: I was just getting a taste of that, and I

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Speaker 3: feel like I started surrounding myself with like with you guys,

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Speaker 3: with people that I knew, and I started feeling comfortable

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Speaker 3: with being who I am. And then I experienced like

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Speaker 3: West Hollywood and all that, and I was like, oh

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Speaker 3: my gosh.

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Speaker 2: Then you became a Hucci.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I became a became for the streets, for the streets.

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Speaker 3: I love it streets.

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Speaker 2: That's one thing I love about you. You're so open.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna get all into that.

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Speaker 1: But going back to how we met, the reason we

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Speaker 1: were a little hesitant is because I'm still friends with

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Speaker 1: Vanessa me as no longer friends with Vanessa. Actually Vanessa

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Speaker 1: and Ayako Madrees. She's been on the podcast as well.

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Speaker 1: We have Plantita's hair care, which she uses it she

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Speaker 1: loves so even though she doesn't talk to Vanessa and

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Speaker 1: there's no communication.

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Speaker 3: And honestly, I've always I've said it before like I had,

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Speaker 3: there's no hard feelings, no nothing. I'm honestly I am

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Speaker 3: happy for her success and everything she's done. I wanted

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Speaker 3: to work for her. I love I admire that about her.

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Speaker 3: It's just the relationship didn't work out, and that's fine.

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Speaker 2: How did you work there at her salon like four.

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Speaker 3: Months maybe, Okay, so it was it was it was

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Speaker 3: just it was short. It was a short time, and

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Speaker 3: it was.

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Speaker 1: And then that's how we met and we became really cool,

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Speaker 1: like since the first day I met you, yeah, and

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Speaker 1: then since then we've been friends.

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Speaker 2: And then I think in twenty eighteen you and I had.

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Speaker 1: A fallout, yes, which you know, I'm always really straight

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Speaker 1: up with everyone here, So we had a follo out.

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Speaker 2: I think we didn't talk for like what a couple

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Speaker 2: of years.

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Speaker 3: Two year three and twenty twenty if you we kind of.

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Speaker 1: Started talking, like during the pandemic when everyone's heart was

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Speaker 1: really you know, damn, like life might end, and then

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Speaker 1: we kind of started talking. I don't know exactly how,

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Speaker 1: but I never really had an issue with you. I

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Speaker 1: think because we have a very good friend, a mutual friend, yes,

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Speaker 1: very good yeah. Yes, So and it's Ellen and a

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Speaker 1: lot of you like my og boss bees will know.

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Speaker 1: So Ellen and I had a falling out and it

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Speaker 1: just kind of was that thing of like, okay, you

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Speaker 1: gotta choose sides, I guess in a way, so she

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Speaker 1: kind of stuck with Ellen. There was like a lot

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Speaker 1: of craziness during that time, miscommunication and stuff that we

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Speaker 1: already like clear's.

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Speaker 3: Communication for sure, And at the time I was also

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Speaker 3: very close to Ellen, and I just I you know,

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Speaker 3: like you said, like that not that motherly, but I

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Speaker 3: just I needed to stick by her, you know, at

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Speaker 3: that time. I'm glad I did. At the end of

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Speaker 3: the day, like and now we're all good again.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you actually brought us together.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I did.

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Speaker 2: It was it was me, Yeah, like, let's go have fun.

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Speaker 2: I love yeah, I love fu.

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Speaker 3: No. Yeah, it was just a miscommunication that had to

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Speaker 3: It should have been a dressed sooner, but it didn't,

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Speaker 3: and things happened for a reason, and you know, she

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Speaker 3: ended up having her baby and everything. Yeah, so little boy,

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Speaker 3: wow everything. I think sometimes in friendships you need little pauses. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and that one was one of them. Man.

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Speaker 2: For sure, I definitely grew.

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Speaker 1: I think everyone kind of stepped into their own and well, anyways,

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Speaker 1: Ellen and I are good, We're all good. So I

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Speaker 1: just kind of wanted to get that out of the way,

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Speaker 1: because yes, I've known her since twenty fourteen, but you know,

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Speaker 1: I always was kind of like I wonder what, you know,

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Speaker 1: what me is doing or whatnot. And I thought it

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Speaker 1: would be perfect, a perfect time for you to come

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Speaker 1: on the podcast because we've talked about it, but since

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Speaker 1: it is Pride month and I think that you're someone

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Speaker 1: that has always been very open about your process. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and I've been there with her, I think through like.

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Speaker 3: Most of it, yeah, most of it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so you're completely transitioned to at this point.

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Speaker 3: Completely one hundred percent. My last surgery was December fourteenth

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Speaker 3: of twenty twenty three. Yeah, so six months now, Okay.

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Speaker 2: And how many surgeries have you had? Because you had the.

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Speaker 3: So I got my breast done, I got my I

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Speaker 3: got I ended up playing a tummy tucks. I had

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Speaker 3: lost weight and our tummy tuck. Then I got light

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Speaker 3: with BBL. I got like with BYBL twice, which now

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Speaker 3: I regret why my as just got too big. I

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Speaker 3: feel like I was like in that like yeah, and

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Speaker 3: now I know you've lost way again. I'm like, damn,

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Speaker 3: like I need to get that fixed right. But and

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Speaker 3: it's a huge in security of mine. But then I

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Speaker 3: got my face. I got my nose done. First, I

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Speaker 3: got my nose done because I had like a bumps.

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Speaker 3: I got my nose done. Then I got my ffs

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Speaker 3: of facial feminization surgery, which I.

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Speaker 2: She showed me those very gnarley guys.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like she literally cut from here to here, like

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Speaker 3: pulled down. Yeah, shaved all the inside of my mouth

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Speaker 3: through like the inside because it feminized, yes, to soften,

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Speaker 3: to soften this bone like right here. Yeah. It was

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Speaker 3: pretty graphic. Yeah, it was in fifteen hour surgery.

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Speaker 2: Was it recovery crazy?

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Speaker 3: I was in the hospital for six days, and I

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Speaker 3: remember like the when I came home, my friends all

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Speaker 3: my I love my friends, all my all my gaze

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Speaker 3: we love the gays. Yes. At that time, I think

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Speaker 3: he was like my friend was you know, Sergio and

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Speaker 3: his x now Leo, they were both like taking care

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Speaker 3: of me, and my roommate and other friends were just

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Speaker 3: coming around. And I remember like seven eighth day, I

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Speaker 3: was just like looking at my face and I was

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Speaker 3: like I started crying, like just regretting it, like because

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Speaker 3: I looked fucking scary. It looked it looked bad, yeah,

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Speaker 3: so swollen, like you know, I was like why did

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Speaker 3: I do this? Like, and everyone's like I remember before,

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Speaker 3: people are like, don't do it, don't do it, you

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Speaker 3: don't need to do it. You don't need to do it,

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Speaker 3: but I knew what I saw. You know, now that

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Speaker 3: I'm like recover, everyone's like, oh my gosh, yeah I

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Speaker 3: see the different. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I didn't really realize what it was gonna do. But

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Speaker 1: now when I see before and after pictures, I'm like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I get it. Yeah, yeah, because it just did refine

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Speaker 1: everything and not just I.

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Speaker 3: Just feel like now, like I love wearing makeups. So

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Speaker 3: sometimes yes, I'll be atle heavy or sometimes I'm like

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Speaker 3: more my natural, but I love that I can go

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Speaker 3: natural without looking like masculine, you know. Yeah, like I

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Speaker 3: can be softer with that. Right now?

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Speaker 2: Is it softer your makeup?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Right, it looks pretty like what you're doing.

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Speaker 3: I don't really wear like foundation, It's more like a

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Speaker 3: skin tint now.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, so I like there's still more compre.

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Speaker 2: For sure, for sure.

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Speaker 3: And then obviously I recovered from that, and then my

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Speaker 3: last surgery was my gender assignment surgery, which I did.

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Speaker 3: You know, honestly, I was like losing hope with that.

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Speaker 3: Oh girl, you were supposed to pay.

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Speaker 2: For that, yeah, I was. Yeah, I was going to

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Speaker 2: tell you.

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Speaker 3: I sent me a check I did.

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Speaker 2: I told her I was gonna, but we stopped talking.

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Speaker 3: Yeah I was.

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Speaker 1: I told her, I said, I'm going to help you

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Speaker 1: all pay for it. Yeah, and then we stopped talking

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Speaker 1: and didn't happen. But then how did that go about?

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Speaker 2: Like you so.

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Speaker 3: Look my face, I got it paid. Don't attack me, people,

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Speaker 3: but I got it paid to the state, my face.

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Speaker 3: I did. How bad I did? Because during pandemic, I

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Speaker 3: was like I had qualified for like medical and all that,

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Speaker 3: oh okay, and so they were doing like not they weren't.

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Speaker 3: They were renewing everybody for like three years. So like

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Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, I'm not gonna I'm

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Speaker 3: getting it, Like I'm not gonna, you know, make it

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Speaker 3: a big deal.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So I ended up getting that this surgery. I did

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Speaker 3: do it through my insurance, with my own insurance. I

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Speaker 3: ended up paying nine thousand out of pocket, which isn't

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Speaker 3: bad because I think the total cost was like one

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Speaker 3: hundred and eighty thousand. Oh wow, States and the States

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Speaker 3: is ridiculous, like and that's why I think people don't

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Speaker 3: do it or they go to like overseas to do it,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, you told me you wanted to go to Bangkok. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: And that was a thing. It was a Bangkok, Thailand whatever.

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Speaker 1: I just like saying bankok but okay, yeah, so that.

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Speaker 3: Was a whole. It was like ten grand Yeah, it

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Speaker 3: was like ten.

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I got you. Let's backtrack a

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Speaker 1: tiny bit, because when did you I've always wondered because

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Speaker 1: I really do feel and some people may disagree with me,

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Speaker 1: but I really do feel that people are born gay too.

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Speaker 1: There's some people that feel that they become gay or

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Speaker 1: maybe they get curious and then they want to try

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Speaker 1: different or the same sex whatever. But I do really

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Speaker 1: feel and I've had these conversations with Gerald remembers all

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Speaker 1: he told me he knew when he was a little boy,

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Speaker 1: like he was four six years old, and he's like,

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Speaker 1: I had a crush on a boy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: And I have had these conversations and I really do

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Speaker 1: feel that when when did you feel?

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Speaker 2: Or how?

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Speaker 1: How give me your experience? Because I think it's did

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Speaker 1: you ever feel trapped?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Body?

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Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, trapped for sure? And I always I grew

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Speaker 3: up with sisters, right, but I have cousins and everything,

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Speaker 3: like male cousins and everything. But my I always wanted to,

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Speaker 3: like dress into their stuff, which, mind you, I think

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Speaker 3: every little boys regardless does that right, don't put on

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Speaker 3: their mom's heels to do that, right. But I just

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Speaker 3: like I felt like more like Podosa, I guess, like

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Speaker 3: more like powerful like and I don't know, it was

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Speaker 3: just something in me, but it was something that I

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Speaker 3: felt like I had to hide, like I didn't want

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Speaker 3: no one knowing that or especially be Yeah, well not

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Speaker 3: just not just that you grow up like realistically, you

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Speaker 3: grew up with you, you know, hearing your parents say like

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Speaker 3: a mariicon and stuff like that, so you always have

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Speaker 3: that already, Like I can't be that. You know, you

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Speaker 3: you You're going to be like a disgrace, right, So

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Speaker 3: even just like I remember my mom, like we used

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Speaker 3: to like we used to take care of kids and everything,

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Speaker 3: and I would always want to play house and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, I'm the on' this Like it was

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Speaker 3: just like a horrible game to play as kids. I

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Speaker 3: don't know why we kids want to grow up so fast,

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Speaker 3: right and play house? But yeah, I just always wanted that,

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Speaker 3: Like I always wanted to feel like I was a girl,

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Speaker 3: even like when I was growing up like maybe twelve thirteen,

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Speaker 3: I ended up losing a Virginia at thirteen, very very young,

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Speaker 3: but I just wanted I wanted to see what it was,

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Speaker 3: you know. And but even then, like I would feel

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Speaker 3: like I don't feel manly enough, and I just always

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Speaker 3: I always wanted someone like above me to like hold me,

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Speaker 3: take care of me. But yeah, ever since I was little.

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Speaker 2: I howld were you when you first felt that.

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Speaker 3: Like twelve or thirteen, okay, okay, when you.

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Speaker 1: Were like, oh I felt more, Yeah, like you wanted

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Speaker 1: to be held, you want to be protected, okay, yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And it was the thing that I went through.

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Speaker 3: Like I kind of don't like when people say, like,

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Speaker 3: oh they're gay because they were like molested or there

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Speaker 3: were this. I mean, that could be a case, you know,

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Speaker 3: but with you, it it wasn't. It wasn't that at all.

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Speaker 3: I had a really good childhood and everything. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: I always I always felt for sure, I always felt gay,

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Speaker 3: right I would, because I didn't know what like being

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Speaker 3: trans was or anything like that. You know, it was

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Speaker 3: very very small town. But yeah, I just I always knew.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and when did you realize that you wanted to be?

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Speaker 3: Like so with third so I want to say I

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Speaker 3: started doing hair when I was like seventeen, right, and

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Speaker 3: then I think like at nineteen twenty, I started wearing

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Speaker 3: like makeup, and then I kind of started just wearing

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Speaker 3: like women's jeans and then just stuff like that. Didn't

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Speaker 3: really know what it was, but there was some There

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Speaker 3: was like one gay club out there was called like

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Speaker 3: out and About. It was literally like forty five fifty

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Speaker 3: minutes away from where we lived, and we would go

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Speaker 3: there once in a while and they would do like

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Speaker 3: drag shows. That's like the only thing I would see

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Speaker 3: like that, you know. So I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 3: that's so cool, right.

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Speaker 2: And and you felt at home there.

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Speaker 3: I felt at home, yeah, But I also you knew

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Speaker 3: you once you go home. That was like done right,

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Speaker 3: you had to just you know. And but I think

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Speaker 3: I always knew certain stuff, but not I didn't know enough, right.

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Speaker 3: And then I think when I moved Tire, I ended

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Speaker 3: up meeting people. I met, you know, Jia. I ended

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Speaker 3: up meeting her, and then I was like, Okay, she's

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Speaker 3: really happy, like with her life and everything. And I

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00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,679
Speaker 3: remember someone had referred me to like black market hormones,

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00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,840
Speaker 3: and I started I did that and for like six

335
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Speaker 3: months which was like the worst thing I could ever do.

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00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,000
Speaker 3: I think I ended up like in the er twice,

337
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:24,600
Speaker 3: like I was literally felt like I was obviously I

338
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,560
Speaker 3: think I was putting too much in. You don't you

339
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,360
Speaker 3: don't know the proper dosage, you don't know what to

340
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:32,600
Speaker 3: shoot up right, and you the problem is you see

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00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:34,680
Speaker 3: all these people that have transition and they have these

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00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,720
Speaker 3: nice curve bodies, they have this, and they give like

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00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,440
Speaker 3: this false hope that you transition, you're going to look

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00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,320
Speaker 3: like this. You don't. Yeah, So then that's when I

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00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,440
Speaker 3: think I started going to like this the LGBT Center.

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Speaker 3: And then that's when I properly was like, Okay, this

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00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,160
Speaker 3: is who I am. And I remember going to like

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00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,840
Speaker 3: therapy and counseling there and really just finding myself.

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Speaker 2: So there is the LGBT Central Center, Okay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I mean, I mean I definitely I don't

351
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:04,880
Speaker 1: know if you want to tell them, but yeah, like

352
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Speaker 1: not to go through the black market, because don't it

353
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Speaker 1: is so scary.

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Speaker 3: You do not don't get butt shots, don't do none

355
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:14,640
Speaker 3: of that, like honestly, like take your time and transitioning.

356
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Speaker 3: There's a lot of people that I looked up too

357
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,280
Speaker 3: that I was just like, oh my gosh, there looks

358
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,840
Speaker 3: so good in this. And then they would say, oh,

359
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,800
Speaker 3: it's the hormones, it's this, it's this. No, it's not

360
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,000
Speaker 3: their liars because now they all have come out with

361
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Speaker 3: videos like and these are like YouTubers like oh wow,

362
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Speaker 3: and I don't want to say their names.

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Speaker 2: I can stand no no more.

364
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:37,320
Speaker 3: But like I I was given that false like oh

365
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Speaker 3: my gosh, and I know I got on black market

366
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,960
Speaker 3: hormones because of these people sometimes, you know, and now

367
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,239
Speaker 3: they all came out like oh my silicon butt injections,

368
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,440
Speaker 3: this and that, like don't do that.

369
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Speaker 2: Now, start getting infection.

370
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,560
Speaker 3: Infection that's spreading some of them. You can lose your leg,

371
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:56,040
Speaker 3: like I had a friend that almost died literally, you know, scar, Yeah,

372
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Speaker 3: don't do that.

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Speaker 1: And in this at the center here that you're talking about,

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Speaker 1: they they help finance that stuff a nonprofit.

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Speaker 3: Yes it's nonprofit. It's here in Hollywood. And they are

376
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,840
Speaker 3: the ones that refer you to be honest, like to

377
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,120
Speaker 3: even doctors that will help you get like life will

378
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,800
Speaker 3: bbl like all that stuff, you know, like most of

379
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,760
Speaker 3: the stuff is covered. You know, I didn't know there's

380
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Speaker 3: a lot.

381
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:19,360
Speaker 2: Of stuff being informed you guys.

382
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:23,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, and researching I was able to you know, change

383
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,320
Speaker 3: my name everything like that through help, through the resources,

384
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,440
Speaker 3: you know, birth certificate everything.

385
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,360
Speaker 1: So it's safe to say for sure when you moved

386
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,680
Speaker 1: here in twenty fourteen was when you really just stepped

387
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:38,240
Speaker 1: into Mia completely. Yes, yeah, right because okay, because when

388
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,440
Speaker 1: I met you, your name was different. But when you

389
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,760
Speaker 1: came here, it's like when I feel like you flourished,

390
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,560
Speaker 1: yeah in every way, like fast, yeah.

391
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Speaker 3: I mean it felt fast. Now it feels fast, but

392
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:51,800
Speaker 3: like I did. Take Look, this is my thing now

393
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,400
Speaker 3: with people that are transitioning. Now again, now, the people

394
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,560
Speaker 3: that are transitioning, I think people some of them are

395
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,440
Speaker 3: seeing it as a trend, which is like sucks because

396
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:03,080
Speaker 3: then then there's the people that are de transitioning because

397
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,720
Speaker 3: they again I think were fed this like oh my gosh,

398
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,760
Speaker 3: I'm gonna look fish. I'm gonna look you know fish

399
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,240
Speaker 3: meaning like girl, you know, like very very girl, Like

400
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,040
Speaker 3: I'm gonna look this, I'm gonna look that. So there

401
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:15,119
Speaker 3: are people are transitioning really really fast and then they're like,

402
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:17,560
Speaker 3: oh shit, that's not who I am. Let me do transition,

403
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,720
Speaker 3: and it's giving us a bad rep because they're like, oh,

404
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,720
Speaker 3: it is a mental illness, it is a sickness, it's

405
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:26,480
Speaker 3: this you know. Yeah, and a lot of these people.

406
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,879
Speaker 3: So look, when I first transitioned, I remember, like the

407
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,680
Speaker 3: restroom issue is a huge thing, right, I remember, like, Okay,

408
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,280
Speaker 3: I started wearing makeup, letting my hair grow out. I

409
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,200
Speaker 3: still would not go into the women's restroom. I if

410
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,359
Speaker 3: it was like a family restroom, I would go in there.

411
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,080
Speaker 3: And if I really had to go, I would just

412
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:47,359
Speaker 3: go into the men's restroom one because I needed everyone

413
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,359
Speaker 3: to feel safe around me, right, Yeah. And nowadays you

414
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,639
Speaker 3: see these people and I'm not coming for anyone, but

415
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,240
Speaker 3: it's just it's a scary world. It's I say, for

416
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 3: the safety of them as well. Yeah, Like if you

417
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:01,400
Speaker 3: can use a public family restore, do that, because there's

418
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 3: people that are transitioning, like all of a sudden day

419
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:06,320
Speaker 3: one I'm trans Then they go into a female restroom

420
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,280
Speaker 3: and like, you just don't know who you're making uncomfortable

421
00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 3: or not, just that the uncomfortable position you're putting yourself in.

422
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,040
Speaker 3: There's crazy people out there that will kill you.

423
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's and that's what I was going to

424
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,840
Speaker 1: ask you, because I remember when I met you. You

425
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,760
Speaker 1: you had your makeup, your hair was shorter, so it's

426
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,479
Speaker 1: like and I always wondered, and this is I mean,

427
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 1: this is the first time I ask you, but did

428
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 1: you ever feel scared to go into the men's restrooms?

429
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,439
Speaker 3: That at the airport at Lax one time was like

430
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:38,800
Speaker 3: one of my worst time worst encounters. So I was

431
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,199
Speaker 3: at Lax literally going back home for I think the holidays,

432
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:44,240
Speaker 3: and my hair was still kind of short and everything

433
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:48,120
Speaker 3: full makeup at the airport like literally like over dramatic,

434
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,159
Speaker 3: and I had to like go restrooms so bad, and

435
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,240
Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, funck, I'm just going

436
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,280
Speaker 3: to run to the men's restroom. Literally, security comes after me,

437
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,719
Speaker 3: like banging in the door. You're in the wrong restroom,

438
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,399
Speaker 3: You're in the wrong restroom. They like escorted me, and

439
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 3: I was like, no, I'm not, no, I'm not. Literally

440
00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,720
Speaker 3: I think my d was still my old name. Everything

441
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,720
Speaker 3: showed them and they're like they didn't even know what

442
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 3: to do about it, like and I was like, I'm

443
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,119
Speaker 3: gonna miss my flight. Luckily, they just like I didn't

444
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,080
Speaker 3: help me there for like five minutes, like you know,

445
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,639
Speaker 3: just be careful. Luckily, the guy was really nice, but

446
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,880
Speaker 3: obviously they were like alerted at first, someone told them, like,

447
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:23,440
Speaker 3: you're in the wrong freaking restroom, right, But if I

448
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,719
Speaker 3: would have gone too the women's restroom, what would have happened?

449
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,040
Speaker 3: What I had gotten arrested?

450
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:28,760
Speaker 2: Yeah?

451
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 3: See, you know, and I remember like panicing, like, oh

452
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 3: my gosh, they're making this big old freaking scene.

453
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 1: Like and you probably felt embar embarrassed, embarrassed, and did

454
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 1: other dudes ever look at you like guys, yeah, and

455
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:40,640
Speaker 1: we're kind of like.

456
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,359
Speaker 3: So, I mean I would never go like pee like

457
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 3: on a star or that, I would go into it.

458
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,360
Speaker 3: I would go into not not the yarals. I would

459
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,840
Speaker 3: go into like an actual star, you know. But yeah,

460
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,200
Speaker 3: it was it was scary and so most of the time,

461
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,960
Speaker 3: like at that time though, I would go party in

462
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,440
Speaker 3: weehole a lot, so it wasn't like I was going

463
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,679
Speaker 3: to like straight places to go party. So we hold you.

464
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 3: It's very going to wherever restroom you.

465
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,640
Speaker 1: Right, okay, but still like at the airport and things

466
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,760
Speaker 1: like that, like I have. It's it's a whole thing,

467
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,600
Speaker 1: and it's like conversations we've had off of camera in

468
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:08,920
Speaker 1: regards to to.

469
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 2: It, like now now you're fine. Now you got to

470
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 2: the women's restroom and you're totally fine.

471
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:17,359
Speaker 1: But when you're transitioning, it's just I guess, yes, the

472
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 1: safest thing is to find a family restaurant somewhere.

473
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,440
Speaker 3: Where it is. And I see people arguing all the time,

474
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 3: like I'm a woman, and I'm like, you're not, Like

475
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 3: you're not yet. You need to stop. You need to relax,

476
00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:30,919
Speaker 3: and you need to understand how others feel too, Like

477
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 3: other people have their children in there, like imagine like.

478
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to know your perspective on that, Like

479
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 2: what do you visit?

480
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,560
Speaker 3: People get mad when I'm like, I'm a little trumpy

481
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 3: when it comes to stuff like this, Okay, but because

482
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:48,119
Speaker 3: I feel like in that case, I back then, I

483
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,919
Speaker 3: was very much more vocal like, oh my gosh, rights,

484
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,960
Speaker 3: our rights, our rights. Yes, I do stand for our

485
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,600
Speaker 3: rights one hundred percent, but I also stand for the

486
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 3: safety of others, you know, Like I like I said,

487
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 3: I feel like if you're like day one of your

488
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,800
Speaker 3: transition and you don't not that it's because see this

489
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 3: is the kid. The scary part of saying stuff like

490
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 3: this when you say, oh, you don't look passable, you

491
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 3: shouldn't go in there. No, I'm not coming for you.

492
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 3: It's just what I'm saying is that people are still

493
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 3: going to look at you as a man. As it is,

494
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 3: people still look at me as a man. I don't

495
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 3: have an issue with it, no one, because I know

496
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 3: I don't look like one, you know, but and I

497
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 3: know the hard work I put into it. And the

498
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 3: thing is that people now they want to transition in

499
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,439
Speaker 3: the second day they are a woman, and you can't.

500
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 3: You have to think about your safety and the risk

501
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 3: you're putting others in as well.

502
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:36,479
Speaker 1: Okay, you know, okay, So so for you, in your opinion,

503
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 1: do you feel that someone that's barely starting their transition

504
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 1: that still look a little bit more male than female,

505
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 1: but they're wearing makeup but don't have their parts, like

506
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 1: having transitioned completely, should still go into like if it's

507
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,679
Speaker 1: a male into the male's rest into a man's restaurant.

508
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,520
Speaker 3: It's it's just it's hard. That's why it's hard to

509
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 3: pick and choose. It's super hard to pick and choose

510
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 3: because I'm like, I don't want to say that and

511
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 3: then them get like murder in there, you know what

512
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 3: I mean?

513
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:02,640
Speaker 2: Right, That's what I worry about.

514
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,400
Speaker 3: Because if there's that's why I'm saying, like, if you

515
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 3: can find a family restroom, try to do that for

516
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 3: your own safety, because then you just never know. There's

517
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 3: weirdos out there, there's people like and and and then

518
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,200
Speaker 3: again people use this whole thing like oh, that's why,

519
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:20,920
Speaker 3: like rape happens because people are dressing up as women

520
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 3: and going into that doesn't happen. That happens between families unfortunately, right,

521
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 3: But like, yeah, I always tell people, if you can

522
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 3: find a family restroom, do it for your own safety.

523
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 3: You know, until you feel you look more presentable and

524
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 3: or you're somewhere that it's safe, you know, like just

525
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,399
Speaker 3: look around or ask someone, just ask, like you have

526
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 3: a family restroom, Like yeah, it's just now from the

527
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,719
Speaker 3: experience that I've seen in the faces that I've gotten,

528
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 3: that's why I tell people that.

529
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 1: You've you've I've experienced the experienced, you know, and yeah,

530
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 1: it's hard.

531
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 3: It's just you know what I feel. I feel bad

532
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 3: saying this, but I feel like we have put in

533
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 3: the work, and there's people like again I'm saying, they

534
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 3: transition all of a sudden, they want all this respect.

535
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 3: I've actually put in the work. We put in the

536
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 3: work to consider ourselves trans women, you know, and say

537
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,360
Speaker 3: like I've done my part.

538
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 1: You know, because you feel now more than ever that

539
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,399
Speaker 1: there are people that are giving trans a bad names, yes,

540
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 1: like not really going through the entire process.

541
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they feel so entitled. And also the people

542
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 3: that are getting recognized that are becoming the face of

543
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 3: the community, you know, and that's bad for them to

544
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 3: be the face because that's not who we are, that's

545
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 3: not who we represent, you know.

546
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's one thing that I like about you

547
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,120
Speaker 1: is that you've been very open about your entire process

548
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: and your beliefs are are very different, I feel in

549
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 1: a good way though, you know, you're very honest. Yeah,

550
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 1: and I think that can also that's that's going to

551
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 1: give the community more longevity and more respect if there

552
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 1: are people that really like this, this is my true identity,

553
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,680
Speaker 1: and I take it seriously and I'm not only just

554
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 1: like fighting for my rights, but like you said, for

555
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 1: everyone's safety and because at the end of the day,

556
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,879
Speaker 1: it's your choice, and it's like it still makes other

557
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 1: people uncomfortable, so you're also thinking about them or children

558
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 1: that you know, I always say, speak to your kids,

559
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,479
Speaker 1: be honest about what's going on in the world about

560
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 1: gay and the whole community.

561
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,439
Speaker 3: Everything starts at home. Everything starts at home. Like you

562
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,160
Speaker 3: see these some of these kids, like the way they speak,

563
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 3: I'm like, that's because of their parents, you know. Like

564
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 3: it's like kids like it can go anywhay, Like when

565
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:36,679
Speaker 3: kids wear like gain attire clothing like what they have

566
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,919
Speaker 3: at home. You know what I mean. You teach your

567
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,919
Speaker 3: kids love and respect at home, and that goes a

568
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 3: long way. Yeah, right, And yeah, you have to like

569
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,880
Speaker 3: when people say, oh, I don't like kids seeing two

570
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 3: boys kissing or two girls. Teach your kids about love.

571
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,320
Speaker 3: That's all it is, you know. And like I said,

572
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,679
Speaker 3: all that starts at home. Yeah, and you have to

573
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 3: be open with.

574
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: Your kids about it because if not, they're going to

575
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,639
Speaker 1: see it, especially now with social media. I feel like

576
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 1: I'd rather my kids come to me and say, hey,

577
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 1: what's Let me explain it to you. Let me show

578
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 1: you how children are born or how they're made. And

579
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,320
Speaker 1: and these are people's choices and this is what it is.

580
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,119
Speaker 1: And as my personal opinion.

581
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 3: If your kids want to express themselves, let them express themselves.

582
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 3: You know, Like when I things I don't like seeing

583
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 3: obviously is like I remember one time I was like, oh,

584
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 3: this is like five years ago and Charlotte Ruis was

585
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 3: still open. This little boy was like, oh you could

586
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 3: arrest those like these shoes, like and he was innocent,

587
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 3: like just when the dad pulled them up, like I'm like,

588
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 3: that's so fucked up. But I was like, you know what,

589
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 3: my kid now, my kid, I'm not a parent. And

590
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 3: that's one thing I sucks when I try to tell

591
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,399
Speaker 3: people something because I like, well, you're not a parent.

592
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 3: I know I'm not, but like I'm just saying, teachers,

593
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,399
Speaker 3: it's about love, yeah, and just don't be you know,

594
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 3: it's maybe it's a face. He just wanted to try

595
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 3: that shoe on, that it.

596
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:52,119
Speaker 1: Happened, and saying stuff like that, and public especially you know,

597
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 1: because liquor even like those are words of they haunt you.

598
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,439
Speaker 2: They haunt you. Yeah, exactly, even if what if he

599
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,120
Speaker 2: is the little boy is.

600
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 3: And now he's growing up thinking like damn, I can

601
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,199
Speaker 3: never be because my dad just traumatized me in at

602
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 3: the mall.

603
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:12,040
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, how did your dad take it?

604
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,239
Speaker 3: You know? I remember like telling my parents I was

605
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 3: I started up, I was by and they're like whatever, right,

606
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 3: there's still.

607
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 2: Hope, you know.

608
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 3: And then and then I came out as gay, and

609
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 3: then I don't think they really said much after that.

610
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 3: And then I remember when I started transitioning. I told

611
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 3: my mom first I was already living here, and you know,

612
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,679
Speaker 3: my mom was like yes and this and this and that,

613
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 3: you know. And at that point, I think I had

614
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 3: already built them up to like not care about certain

615
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,880
Speaker 3: stuff because I felt like I was a black sheep

616
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,639
Speaker 3: in my family, that I was very different. I'm very outspoken,

617
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 3: and I was I was thinking I was building her

618
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 3: up for that. And then I remember at one point

619
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 3: when I was like telling her, like, you can't call

620
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 3: me that anymore, like, and I stopped talking to her

621
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 3: for a moment, right, It was like a heart a month,

622
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:00,159
Speaker 3: and I just I couldn't give in.

623
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 2: I could.

624
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 3: I had to like not teach her lesson, but tell

625
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 3: her like, I love you, but this is who I

626
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,440
Speaker 3: am now, right. So then I remember having I told her,

627
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 3: you need to tell my dad because I didn't want

628
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 3: to say it. He was very very like I used

629
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:14,960
Speaker 3: to go hunting with him, like I used to do

630
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,120
Speaker 3: a lot of like very much, yes, very very much,

631
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 3: he's that, you know. And I remember going back.

632
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 2: I can't even imagine you're asked hunting girl.

633
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:26,640
Speaker 3: I used to hunt. I used to choose fish. Oh wow,

634
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 3: I'm very handy. Like when it comes to like building stuff, yeah,

635
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:31,399
Speaker 3: I used to. Yeah, my friends always like, okay, you

636
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 3: can have me building something.

637
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 1: And she's a badass baker, you guys make she makes

638
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 1: this bomb ass banana some freaking oh please.

639
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 3: Yeah.

640
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,440
Speaker 2: So it's the bed. It's so moist banana chocolate chip,

641
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 2: banana chocolate chip.

642
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 3: I got it out of this like old ass book

643
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,440
Speaker 3: that I found. It's a good will literally really yes.

644
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 2: It was literally a socious book.

645
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:52,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, so good. So then okay, So I was going

646
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:54,640
Speaker 3: to go back home to my cousins kin Signetta, which

647
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 3: is my dad's brother's daughters Skins Signetta, right, and I

648
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 3: still had no boobs thing yet, but I was already

649
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 3: like wearing long hair and everything. And then I remember

650
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:07,119
Speaker 3: like telling my mom like did you tell my dad?

651
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 3: I's like yeah, I told him. I told him, don't

652
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 3: you know, it's fine, it's fine. I remember getting ready

653
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 3: going to this we're getting we're going there, and my

654
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 3: sister in her car. I remember just like I started bawling.

655
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 3: The only thing I was ever scared of my dad

656
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,479
Speaker 3: is him feeling some type of way of my family

657
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 3: saying something to him about me, like making him feel

658
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,880
Speaker 3: less up or making him feel like he failed as

659
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 3: a parent. That was what I was scared. I'm the baby,

660
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 3: I'm the only boy. It was the only boy. It

661
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,360
Speaker 3: was the only boy. Yeah, Like that was his baby, right,

662
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 3: And I know his in his wallet he still has

663
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 3: a picture of me like when I was a little boy,

664
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 3: Like he always has that picture, like he still has

665
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 3: it to this day. But I remember that was like

666
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 3: my biggest fear was just like what my if my

667
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 3: family would have said something to him.

668
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I I remember to cause him pain because

669
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 1: of yeah.

670
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,360
Speaker 3: Right, So I remember like I was hyper ventilated like

671
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 3: a I just like, no, you're fine, You're fine, You're fine.

672
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 3: I just come, just come. And I remember just like

673
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 3: walking because I think I landed the day before and

674
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 3: I didn't go see them. And I saw my mom

675
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 3: only in the morning because I think I curled her

676
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 3: hair for the So yeah, I hadn't seen my dad

677
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 3: though at all. And this he really hadn't seen much.

678
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 2: You know, seeing like you're you as a woman.

679
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 3: Yes, And I remember I wore a black dress and

680
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 3: uh yeah, it was I ket walking in though. I

681
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 3: was like, oh my gosh, okay, everyone was looking everyone, everyone, everyone,

682
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 3: all my dad's family was there, Washington, Washington. Yeah. And

683
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 3: I started saying hi to some people that were kind

684
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 3: of that. I whatever skipped a lot of my family

685
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 3: and then I got to my more. My parents were

686
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 3: and I said, I said hi, and like nothing.

687
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 2: He was fine.

688
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 3: He was fine, and.

689
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 2: He's always because does he know you you did compla.

690
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 3: Not the last surgery. The last surgery. My mom knows

691
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 3: about it. My family knows about it, but I never

692
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 3: told him. I just think that's like a weird conversation

693
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 3: to him. So I'm like, you know, maybe if he

694
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 3: still feels like some thing, let him feel that, you know, like, yeah,

695
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 3: let me not take everything away from him, you know.

696
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 2: Right right.

697
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,920
Speaker 1: No, I get that because I mean it must be

698
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: hard for parents, you know, because for them it's like

699
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: they have especially because you were the only boy, had

700
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: these dreams and stuff like that.

701
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 2: You guys went hunting and all this.

702
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 1: But I mean, it's beautiful to see that your parents,

703
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 1: your parents love you enough to say I just want

704
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 1: her to be happy. Yeah, I remember, like, and now

705
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 1: your mom calls you by me?

706
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 3: Oh yeah yeah yeah only yeah, and my fad some

707
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 3: of my cousins, they'll try to call me my old

708
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 3: name and they'll be like, oh, that's all I've known you.

709
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 3: I'm like, if my mom has to call me my

710
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 3: new name, so you if you don't, I'm done with you.

711
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 3: Like I am at that cut off. I'm cutting off

712
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 3: people because you expect me. Yes, why why should you

713
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 3: get that chance to call me that when I don't

714
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 3: even let my mom call me that? You know?

715
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 2: That makes sense? Absolutely? And what's your dad call you?

716
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 3: So? No, no, no, no, so they call me my mom calls.

717
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 2: You by Mia.

718
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 3: But like one time I got there, I like today

719
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 3: from the airport like all glam so ever since then

720
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 3: my dads like, oh yeah, so I'm like, okay, whatever,

721
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 3: so he.

722
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 2: Calls you, yeah, does he call you mihw or anything

723
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 2: like that.

724
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 3: I don't like You'll just be like okay, I mean.

725
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 2: It's whatever better than yeah my old name.

726
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

727
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like that. I know. Everyone's like in Washington

728
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 2: everything that you go back there, you're fine.

729
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 3: You don't like a little local celebrity to them. No,

730
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 3: it's honestly, I love when I go out there just

731
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 3: seeing like old people that I used to like associate

732
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,120
Speaker 3: myself like friends back then. It's fun, you know. But yeah,

733
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 3: like people still trip out and yeah, you know, but.

734
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 2: Do you feel like it's getting better?

735
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,719
Speaker 3: I feel like it is. Like I saw they had

736
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 3: a Pride recently, like a Pride festival, like two weeks ago,

737
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 3: and I mean, like like any other Pride festival, there's

738
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 3: people outside protesting of course, you know, but like it's

739
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 3: it's come a long way.

740
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely feel like it's more accepted, I guess now,

741
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 1: and I think that that's a beautiful thing.

742
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 3: The thing is that when people when I say Washington,

743
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 3: everyone assumes Seattle. I'm not from Seattle. Seattle is three

744
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 3: hours up north from US. We are in the lower part,

745
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 3: so we're like in all the farm area, which is

746
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:20,520
Speaker 3: very conservative. That's the conservative part, the part that makes

747
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 3: Washington a Democrat state. Seattle, which is a tiny corner

748
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 3: but it's obviously overpopulated. That's the only thing. The rest

749
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,960
Speaker 3: of it is so conservative. We're also borderline to Idaho,

750
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 3: you know. Yeah, so it's all farm people. You know,

751
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 3: so that's very close minded, you know, but they come along.

752
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 1: Way, but it's they're coming a long way. And I'm

753
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: glad that you probably say that's where I'm from.

754
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 3: That's I never deny where I'm from. I always say, like,

755
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 3: I'm from Washington, small little town, grand View, and born

756
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 3: and raised around there. So I love.

757
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 2: That you have to be proud of where you come from.

758
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, what do you feel is

759
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: that it has been the most difficult part of your transition,

760
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 1: is there or has it just been like do you

761
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 1: finally feel like, oh I'm whole.

762
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 2: I'm mean, I feel whole.

763
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 3: I feel one hundred percent whole. But one thing I

764
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 3: always taught you don't need the surch you don't need

765
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 3: the last surgery like to feel whole. Right for me,

766
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 3: I did, ok, But then after this surgery I did

767
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 3: have to be like, Okay, now I have to fully

768
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 3: accept myself because even though that surgery was done, you know,

769
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 3: you're still I been anesthesia kind of whereas in and

770
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 3: out of your body where you're kind of like, oh,

771
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 3: like you start questioning certain stuff, right, yeah, But now

772
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 3: I was like, I think, like two months ago, I

773
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 3: was like, you know, I really do have to feel

774
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 3: one hundred percent myself and I did. I did, like

775
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 3: some soul searching. I was like, okay this, I don't

776
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 3: need a man. I don't need I just needed to

777
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 3: feel whole myself. And once I accepted that, I was like, Okay,

778
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 3: I feel good.

779
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 2: You feel fine? Yeah, because you want to get married right, yeah?

780
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 2: I do.

781
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do want to not right now, I'm going

782
00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 3: to have a hot girl summer but.

783
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:00,959
Speaker 2: Nice yes, hot girl summer summer.

784
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, the cat in full effect. But you know, like

785
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 3: I would love that. I would love that. You know,

786
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 3: do you.

787
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 1: Feel now that you're completely transitioned, would you still tell

788
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 1: someone oh I'm trans or like the guy that you meet.

789
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 3: Yes, but not right there. I also, this is the

790
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,840
Speaker 3: thing with me and people. I don't go around like

791
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 3: say I'm at a bar and you're like, oh so,

792
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 3: so I don't say that, cahi ama, I'm trans Okay,

793
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 3: never do that one. You never know. It is safety.

794
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 2: You're safety again. Yes, never know how people are.

795
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 3: Yes, but always do tell. If anything, I'm not going

796
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:36,279
Speaker 3: to go home and hook up with this guy, I

797
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 3: will get their number. I'll be like, oh, let's just

798
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 3: change numbers or I'll get my social media or something

799
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 3: like that. Sometimes I'm very like about social media because

800
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 3: I'm like, where if they go far back? I have

801
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:49,879
Speaker 3: archived so much stuff now. But because again I don't

802
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,399
Speaker 3: know people haunting me with old pictures or stuff like that,

803
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 3: you know, But I will tell them if I if

804
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 3: I see the conversations going somewhere with them, like it's

805
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 3: not just a dumb converce. I'm like, hey, just so

806
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 3: you know I am you know, I'm transgender thissiness, and

807
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 3: that explain, you know, if they don't know it. Sometimes

808
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 3: it's like, oh, I'm cool with that. You want to

809
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 3: fuck Then I'm like, okay, I'm done with this conversation too,

810
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 3: you know now I'm done with that conversation. Yeah. Yeah,

811
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 3: but yeah. I always you have to tell people. You

812
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 3: have to be one hundred percent no no, And I

813
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 3: hear these stories and I don't. I don't want to

814
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,040
Speaker 3: say that's why some people people get killed, but that

815
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 3: is that's one of the reasons. Or some people also

816
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 3: can't stand that they knew that they slept with someone

817
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,280
Speaker 3: that's trans, so they end up killing them. But always

818
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,839
Speaker 3: disclose that and always make sure that people know who

819
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,279
Speaker 3: you're with. I told all my friends, like, hey, I've

820
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 3: been with this person or this person's coming over, Like

821
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 3: I'll send pictures some of what they look like or whatever,

822
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 3: just in case, just in case my location. I share

823
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 3: it with like thirty people. Yeah, you know, like you.

824
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 1: Have to safeties first, and I think always being honest

825
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 1: and upfront so that you don't mislead anybody in all

826
00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 1: the best space, so that you're safe and they're safe

827
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:00,719
Speaker 1: and they have at least a.

828
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 2: Chance and the opportunity to say yes or no. Exactly.

829
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 1: Okay, So before we go, I do want to ask

830
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,759
Speaker 1: because on your social media, what I love too is

831
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,240
Speaker 1: that you're you come across as a very confident woman,

832
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,839
Speaker 1: and I think that you can be of a you know,

833
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 1: an inspiration to people in the community. Where do you

834
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,359
Speaker 1: think that that confidence comes from. Has it always been there?

835
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 2: Is it something? Is it a front? Is it something now.

836
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 1: That you really feel because you you're like, this is

837
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 1: why I love that. But I mean, I've been honest

838
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 1: about how I used to portray myself and how I

839
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,880
Speaker 1: thought I was confident, but it wasn't really confident.

840
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 3: It was I have to say that about you too, though, Yeah,

841
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,799
Speaker 3: it was it was it wasn't. I feel like I've

842
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:48,759
Speaker 3: had to portray that, Like I had to portray that

843
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 3: I was very confident, and I or my friends always

844
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,400
Speaker 3: telling me like, you're so strong, you're so there's what

845
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 3: you know, you shouldn't have an issue, and it would

846
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 3: make me cry because I would just feel like you

847
00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 3: guys fucking think that, but I'm not. I'm not like

848
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 3: I's it's a front. It's something that so I don't

849
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 3: feel torn down, I don't feel like you can get

850
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:09,359
Speaker 3: to me. Yeah, because I'll give you the satisy. Yes, yes,

851
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 3: So what happened? I want to say, Like twenty sixteen,

852
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 3: I remember I had posted like that whole picture with

853
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 3: like the slurs like all over my body, and then

854
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 3: Kylie Jenner had reposted it, right, and that was the

855
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 3: beginning of like the hate. I feel like, the like

856
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 3: go kill yourself, go do this, go do that. And

857
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 3: that's where I feel like I had to become even

858
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:32,320
Speaker 3: more confident, more stronger and act like it didn't hurt me,

859
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:35,960
Speaker 3: but it did so for I do feel up until

860
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:40,399
Speaker 3: like twenty twenty is when I started kind of being

861
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 3: more in tune of my feelings. And then I did

862
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,160
Speaker 3: stop posting a lot. I I used to post like

863
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 3: three four times a week, and now it's like rare

864
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 3: when I like, I'll post like once every two three weeks.

865
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 3: You know, I do post on my story a lot,

866
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 3: but I I am scared of what people say sometimes

867
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 3: and I am stronger, but I am more in tune

868
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:01,400
Speaker 3: my things. I know I have to you have to

869
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 3: read those comments. Sometimes you have to read the hate, right.

870
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,359
Speaker 3: But I now I know they can't bring me down.

871
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 3: But before it was all up front, it was all like,

872
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 3: that's what I have to be. I have to show

873
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,320
Speaker 3: people I'm a strong bitch. You can't get to me.

874
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 3: You can tell me off, you can say whatever you want.

875
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,399
Speaker 3: But I'm a strong bitch. But I wasn't.

876
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I completely agree with that because.

877
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 3: It can with you. You know, you went through so

878
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:25,479
Speaker 3: much hate the first I.

879
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 1: Really I've experienced bullying since I was little about my weight,

880
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 1: and then I came into this world, in this industry,

881
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 1: and I just felt like I always felt beautiful, and

882
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 1: I felt like I never knew that I was big.

883
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 1: I only knew that I was fat because people would

884
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 1: tell me, Oh, you're so fat, you come out on

885
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 1: TV you shouldn't like so many things, and then I

886
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 1: would be like, oh my god, I guess I am,

887
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:49,920
Speaker 1: but I felt so it was just thinking of like

888
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let you.

889
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 2: Guys get to me.

890
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 1: I'm strong and I know what I am inside my

891
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 1: heart and now like it's it's this thing of like

892
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 1: I know who I am in my core, so you

893
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 1: know what I mean.

894
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 2: But it was it was hard.

895
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 3: Okay, now that you've lost weight, you went on this

896
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 3: like healthy journey right like you. I'm sure you do

897
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,920
Speaker 3: feel though sometimes like oh now there's things that I

898
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 3: don't like. It's it's you're never gonna win that though,

899
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 3: because I remember I told you last time to like

900
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 3: I don't remember you being that big.

901
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 2: I see pictures and I'm like, what you're like throwing.

902
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 3: Your photoshop them right now? Like but you know you just.

903
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 2: Said, let's you guysn't call me fat all day long?

904
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:31,399
Speaker 2: Can you call me ugly?

905
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 3: No?

906
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,160
Speaker 2: No, you can't, No you can't you know and.

907
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:36,840
Speaker 3: No, even like you know what's crazy. I feel like

908
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 3: I used to get hit on more though back then

909
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 3: I feel like than I do.

910
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,239
Speaker 1: Now, maybe because I have a man, but I was

911
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:47,759
Speaker 1: in some ways more physically confident is bigger than now

912
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 1: that I'm like, I walked in like insecurities now because

913
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 1: now it's like I now I can I feel confident

914
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,399
Speaker 1: with wearing sleeveless shirts, but then like my loose skin

915
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:57,479
Speaker 1: because of my arms.

916
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 3: Just saying I was like resting up for this, I

917
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 3: was like, no, like I need to have some kind

918
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 3: of leave that, you know, and surgery can't fix it

919
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:06,879
Speaker 3: all you guys, it's it's you also have to fix

920
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 3: your head first, you know.

921
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 1: YEA love who you are inside, and it makes you

922
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 1: radiate different. Too many people focus on wanting to fix themselves,

923
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 1: like on the exterior and don't take care of this

924
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,880
Speaker 1: and this, and then it's just it's just.

925
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 3: Then they have body for the rest of our life exactly.

926
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:29,440
Speaker 3: And so it's honestly, it does irritate me because obviously,

927
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 3: I really I am a common person. I go on

928
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 3: people like I grow even with you when you post

929
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 3: something I like, I've seen you pictures like oh I

930
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 3: don't like this, you know, you know, but I'm very like.

931
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 3: But I also because I start thinking about what everyone

932
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,120
Speaker 3: says and I'm just like, oh my gosh, but I

933
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 3: hate them. People are like Oh, you have money, you

934
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 3: can go do this, you said, or she's probably lying,

935
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 3: she did all this, this this, No, it's just it's

936
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,279
Speaker 3: once you once you got like into this journey and

937
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 3: everything and you start loving yourself, it's very different and you're.

938
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 1: Yes, truly accepting who you are and being okay with

939
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:09,239
Speaker 1: expressing things and mistakes, past mistakes or whatever. Like that's

940
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 1: when you know, like I've reached the point of really

941
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 1: loving who I am and not having to do and

942
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:17,360
Speaker 1: say and act certain ways to make other people happy.

943
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 1: It's like I'm really soul searching and seeking to be

944
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: the best version of myself that even if I do

945
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 1: have a little bit of loose kin like I don't know,

946
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 1: it's like I'm.

947
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,760
Speaker 3: All for I'm off here here and I'm all for surgery.

948
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:32,800
Speaker 3: I also work for a surgery center. Outside of people,

949
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 3: go for it, do it if you can do it,

950
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 3: but do it for yourself. One don't ever do it

951
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:41,239
Speaker 3: for a man, because if the regardless you know what

952
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:43,239
Speaker 3: I mean, do it for yourself. It's if it's going

953
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,719
Speaker 3: to make you feel better, but make sure you're you're

954
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 3: you're okay here, because that is the most important thing ever,

955
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 3: you know, So.

956
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:52,839
Speaker 1: So yeah, share your socials with people so that they

957
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 1: can follow you.

958
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 3: And my Instagram is I am me a podcast my

959
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 3: only fans, I'm just okkay No, my TikTok is I

960
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 3: am Mia Vargas eight one A, So I am right,

961
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 3: I am I A. Yeah, I am Mia Vargas and

962
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 3: then just the TikTok one is with eight one A.

963
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 2: Okay, oh nice?

964
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 1: All right, well, Mia, thank you so much for being

965
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 1: on the podcast, for being such an open book. I

966
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: know that this will help a lot of people that

967
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 1: I feel like maybe haven't even come out yet and

968
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 1: are living with this, and maybe they watched this and

969
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 1: listen to our conversation and they're able to just be

970
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 1: themselves step into being who they really are meant to be,

971
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 1: which is my whole thing with this podcast from like,

972
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 1: I just want to have conversations with real people, and

973
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 1: you're definitely someone that I've had in my life for

974
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 1: a long time and I really love and appreciate.

975
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 2: So thank you so much.

976
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 1: And before we go, I do want to tell you

977
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:50,360
Speaker 1: here in front of everyone, but I'm gonna go ahead

978
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 1: and keep my word and I'm gonna write you a check, bitch,

979
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 1: because I did tell you, So I'm gonna be the

980
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:57,400
Speaker 1: Madrina of that Kuci.

981
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:01,400
Speaker 2: Thank you did, because I did.

982
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 1: Tell you that I remember exactly where I was at. Yes,

983
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 1: oh my god, we were drunk and I remember we

984
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 1: were in the restaurant. That's so funny that you say that,

985
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 1: because I went back to that moment. I was like,

986
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 1: I remember and I've always remembered now that you brought

987
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 1: it up. So I'm a woman on my words. So

988
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,080
Speaker 1: I will write you a check for your retraina.

989
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:23,320
Speaker 3: I appreciate that. I love bitch.

990
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 2: Okay, guys, thank you so much for listening.

991
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,839
Speaker 1: I hope that you enjoyed this episode and I will

992
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:30,959
Speaker 1: catch you on the next episode of Cheeky's and Chill

993
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 1: see you. This is a production of iHeartRadio and mike

994
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:43,280
Speaker 1: Wa podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at mike wa

995
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:47,359
Speaker 1: Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i q

996
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 1: U y s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the

997
00:43:50,920 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.