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Speaker 1: Time for the letter now, and if you do want

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, on dating, on sex, on work, on parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, submit your Strawberry letter to Steve Harvey FM

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Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry letter and we could

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Speaker 1: reach your letter live on the air, just like right

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Speaker 1: now hunting. Buggle up and hold on time. We got

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Speaker 1: it for you. Here. It is the Strawberry Letter subject

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Speaker 1: he had me fooled. Dear Stephen Shirley, I have been

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Speaker 1: dating a guy for a year, and he treats me

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Speaker 1: really nice. We live in a neighbor We live in

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Speaker 1: neighboring states, but we're less than an hour apart, so

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't consider it a long distance relationship. We see

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Speaker 1: each other a few times a week, and either I'm

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Speaker 1: at his house or he's at mine on the weekend.

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Speaker 1: I assumed we were in an exclusive, omitted relationship until recently.

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Speaker 1: The other day, he was trying to show me a

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Speaker 1: picture on his phone and he mistakenly pulled up a

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Speaker 1: picture of another woman. He tried to quickly swipe past

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Speaker 1: a picture. Every man in him day, I just did it.

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Speaker 1: He tried to quickly slip pass the picture, but he

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Speaker 1: knew I had seen it. I didn't make a fuss

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Speaker 1: about the picture. I asked him to delete it, and

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Speaker 1: he did. But seeing the woman's picture on his phone

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Speaker 1: made me wonder about the nature of our relationship, so

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Speaker 1: I asked him if we were exclusive. His response broke

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Speaker 1: my heart. He stated that before he met me, he

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Speaker 1: was in a very serious relationship and had had a

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Speaker 1: bad breakup. He said he was not ready to be

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Speaker 1: in another relationship right now. Can you believe that I

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Speaker 1: have met this man's entire family and we all get

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Speaker 1: along great. He had me fooled. I will admit that

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Speaker 1: I'm not ready to be married right now, but I

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Speaker 1: still want to date with a purpose and not just

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Speaker 1: be wasting time on this man. So is the committed

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Speaker 1: relationship title just to play on words. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to stop seeing this man. But I did hear him

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Speaker 1: loud and clear when he said he's not ready. What

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Speaker 1: should I do? Well? What should you do? What do

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Speaker 1: you want? I mean, really, what do you want in

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Speaker 1: this relationship or out of this relationship? You said you

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Speaker 1: don't want to get married right now. You said you

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Speaker 1: do want to date with a purpose. So if that's

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Speaker 1: what you want, you got to let him know that,

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Speaker 1: but he's already told you, and you said you heard

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Speaker 1: him loudly and clearly that he's not ready to be

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Speaker 1: in a committed relationship. So you have to make the decision.

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Speaker 1: This is entirely up to you. You've been dating this

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Speaker 1: man for a whole year. Now again, what do you

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Speaker 1: want If you don't want it to continue like this,

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Speaker 1: you have choices. You can either get out of the relationship,

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Speaker 1: or you can just change some things in the way

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Speaker 1: you deal with him. If you're thinking it's a committed

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Speaker 1: relationship and it's not, maybe you should start seeing other people,

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Speaker 1: or you know, or something like that. Maybe you should

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Speaker 1: really do what you want to do, but first you

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Speaker 1: need to find out what that is. You say you

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Speaker 1: don't want to be married, but you do want to

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Speaker 1: date with a purpose. He's not ready to do either

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Speaker 1: of those thing. So maybe he's just not the guy

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Speaker 1: for you at this time. Steve, I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: kind of see this a little bit differently here. I

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Speaker 1: have a different take because from the male perspective, I

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Speaker 1: can really kind of understand what this dude is saying.

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Speaker 1: Let's go over the letter a little bit here. I've

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Speaker 1: been dating this man for about a year. He's really nice.

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Speaker 1: We live in neighboring states, so you don't consider long

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Speaker 1: this relationship. You're at this house several times a weekend.

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Speaker 1: He's at your house several times a weekend, and you

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Speaker 1: in mind he's at mine on the weekends. Here we go.

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Speaker 1: I assumed we were in an exclusive, committed relationship, and

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Speaker 1: toil recently the other day. Now let's go over this.

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Speaker 1: I asson. What did they tell you all the time

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Speaker 1: about assuming? Assuming usually makes an ass out of you

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Speaker 1: and me. That's what assume is. Now, what has happened

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Speaker 1: is you've as you spent a year, you could have

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Speaker 1: verbally got this clip. You could have this conversation a

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Speaker 1: long time ago. You never bought it up. You assumed.

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Speaker 1: And till the other day. He was trying to show

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Speaker 1: me a picture on his phone and he mistakenly pulling

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Speaker 1: a picture of another woman. God hell, when he when

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Speaker 1: as soon as his thumb hit that, you felt for him.

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Speaker 1: He blinked. He took a heavy blink. He was trying

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Speaker 1: to swipe. He swiped past it, but his thumb was shaken.

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Speaker 1: She saw it. Now after she saw the picture, and

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Speaker 1: he knew you saw it. You didn't make a fuss

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Speaker 1: about it. Okay, the true woman. I asked him to

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Speaker 1: delete it and he did, no problem. Okay, I'm out. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let me take that, because if that picture could have

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Speaker 1: been a year old, you never know. You just don't know.

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Speaker 1: So he deleted the picture. But it made me wonder

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Speaker 1: about the nature of our relationship. So I asked him

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Speaker 1: if we were exclusive. His response broke my heart. He

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Speaker 1: stated that before he met me, he was in a

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Speaker 1: very serious relationship and had a bad break up. Now,

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Speaker 1: let me ask you something you didn't You didn't know

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Speaker 1: that a year. You didn't know that he was in

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Speaker 1: a serious relationship and he had a bad breakup a

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Speaker 1: year and this response startled you. A year of assuming

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Speaker 1: you were exclusive, you didn't bring that up. Now he

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Speaker 1: tells you for the first time, he was in a

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Speaker 1: serious relationship, had a bad breakup a year before. You

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Speaker 1: didn't met his family. I got all that, YadA, YadA, YadA.

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Speaker 1: That's good, but damn, this kinda on you too. Now

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Speaker 1: he said he was not ready to be in another

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Speaker 1: relationship right now, serious, full blown, committed relationship. Then you

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Speaker 1: try to fix it. Then you go, can you believe that? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: y'all believe. Y'all believe. The problem is why are you

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Speaker 1: having a hard time believing? But if you had heard

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Speaker 1: this information a year ago, nine months ago, maybe you

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Speaker 1: would have made some other decision. I met this man's

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Speaker 1: entire family. We get along grade. He had me fooled.

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Speaker 1: He didn't fool you. This man ain't fooled you at all.

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Speaker 1: This man ain't lie to you. This man ain't deceived you.

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Speaker 1: He didn't fool you. You assumed. Then after a year,

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Speaker 1: you asked him what you exclusive. He said he was

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Speaker 1: in a bad relationship a year. Man, lady, he didn't

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Speaker 1: fool you. Stop saying this about him. You tricked yourself.

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Speaker 1: Tricked yourself, all right, trick comments on that phone, all right,

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Speaker 1: he had me fooled. Well, he didn't have you fool

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Speaker 1: You've been dating this man for a year. Treat you

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Speaker 1: really nice. You're live in neighboring states, no more than

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Speaker 1: an hour part, so it's really not long this relationship.

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Speaker 1: You at his house and here at yours on the weekends,

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Speaker 1: all during the week I assumed we were an exclusive,

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Speaker 1: committed relationship. I told you about assuming. You should not

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Speaker 1: have assumed. He's trying to show you a picture on

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Speaker 1: his phone, and he mistakenly pulled up a picture of

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Speaker 1: another woman. God, God, I passed out for a minute. Really, God, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to jump off a feeling for him. You

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Speaker 1: should have dropped that phone down a sumer. He should,

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Speaker 1: all right, So he tried to quickly swipe past the picture,

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Speaker 1: but he knew I had seen it. I ain't making

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Speaker 1: fuss about the peach. I asked him to delete it,

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Speaker 1: and he did. But seeing the woman's pitching his phone,

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Speaker 1: it kind of made you wonder. So I asked him,

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Speaker 1: were we exclusive after a year? A year? His response

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Speaker 1: broke a heart. He stated that before he met me,

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Speaker 1: he was in a very serious relationship and had a

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Speaker 1: bad break up. How y'all just talking about this after year?

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Speaker 1: He said, he's not ready for another relationship right now.

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Speaker 1: How y'all just talking about this after year? Then you

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Speaker 1: ask me, can you believe that? Yeah? If you ain't

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Speaker 1: never talked about it, don't assume nothing about a minute.

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Speaker 1: You'll have every right to want to know where your

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Speaker 1: life is going. Ladies, and I have told you this

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Speaker 1: over and over and over. You have the right to

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Speaker 1: ask a man what it is going on here? He

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Speaker 1: will tell you. Now he told you, and yes, I

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Speaker 1: can't believe that, but you can't believe it because you

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Speaker 1: assume something else. So now I have met this man's

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Speaker 1: in time family. We all get along great. That means

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Speaker 1: he cares about you. He'd took you to meet his family.

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Speaker 1: He had me fooled, No, he didn't. You fooled yourself

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Speaker 1: because all you you would have had this conversation that

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Speaker 1: you had just now. You could have had this conversation

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Speaker 1: eleven months ago, ten months ago. You could have easily

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Speaker 1: had that. Now he here, go to park. I will

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Speaker 1: admit that I'm not ready to be married right now. Okay, cool,

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Speaker 1: So what you're tripping for he ain't ready. You ain't ready,

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Speaker 1: But y'all having a good time going and continue the relationship.

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Speaker 1: He's not ready and you're not ready. Right So, now

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Speaker 1: that you've don throw that bone to the dog. But

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Speaker 1: she wants to date with purpose, don't forget that. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna get to that. But I still want to date

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Speaker 1: with the purpose and not just be wasting time on

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Speaker 1: this man. Y'all are dating with a purpose. You all

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Speaker 1: have found each other. Neither one of you are ready

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Speaker 1: to be in a you don't want to be married.

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Speaker 1: He ain't ready to be in a no serious relationship.

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Speaker 1: But y'all in something. Ain't you getting something out of it?

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Speaker 1: And he getting something out of it? Y'all in something.

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Speaker 1: What y'all need to do is sit down and define

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Speaker 1: what it is you in because you're in it now,

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Speaker 1: you've been in it for a year. You in something. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's just y'all ain't got no time. You ain't his fiance.

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Speaker 1: You're too old to be a girlfriend, but right now

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Speaker 1: you're his girlfriend. You his girl, and y'all friends, and

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Speaker 1: you'd have met his family. You too old be somebody

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Speaker 1: damn girlfriend. So you want to date with a purpose?

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Speaker 1: He dating with a purpose, He getting what he wants. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: you're dating with a purpose. You're getting what you want.

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Speaker 1: It's just you assumed, you assumed you want had more.

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Speaker 1: But you just said you ain't even ready for it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he said it. But I still want to date with

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Speaker 1: the person, not just be wast out. So it's the

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Speaker 1: committed in quotation, the committed relationship title just a play

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Speaker 1: on words. You never had this conversation with the man

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Speaker 1: until now committed relationship. He didn't say he didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be in a committed relationship. He said he didn't

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Speaker 1: want to be in a serious relationship. That has a difference.

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Speaker 1: You could be committed to somebody and not be serious. Hello,

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Speaker 1: what preach on it? I'm gonna just tell you you

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Speaker 1: can be in a committed relationship and not be serious. Thing.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to stop seeing this man, but I do.

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Speaker 1: Hear him loud and clear when he said he's not ready,

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Speaker 1: But you said you wasn't ready. That's somebody lying. Somebody

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Speaker 1: lying in this letter's not ready? You're not ready. Why

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Speaker 1: don't y'all make it work? Define your relationship, find out

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Speaker 1: what it is, and see if it will ever lead

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Speaker 1: to anything, what you could possibly do? But then, guess what,

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Speaker 1: Since you heard him loud and clear, he may not

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Speaker 1: be ready for a serious relationship for a long time. Hello,

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Speaker 1: and let me explain something else to you. Deleting the

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Speaker 1: picture don't mean she gonna what come out? Don't I don't,

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Speaker 1: don't don't tell boomshot. Somebody listened to me just cause

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Speaker 1: the picture got deleted, don't mean she gonne sometime in

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Speaker 1: the mind memory linger sometime you can't shake it? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: ain't shake it? I don't. I don't. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to quiet. Yeah, you gotta have a stick. I just

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Speaker 1: told you I don't want to quit singing anyway. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna get your black ass put out your churchster. I

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Speaker 1: just wanted to talk for just a second. I go

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Speaker 1: back to what I say, Come on here, please let

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Speaker 1: me sometime, even without the picture. Yeah, dare's a movie

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Speaker 1: playing in your mind. I'm moving sometime. Yeah, trying to

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Speaker 1: start nothing, trying to get some clarity. Yeah on what

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Speaker 1: we have. H I spent the whole damn break telling

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Speaker 1: the quiet. I didn't need them, and now we out

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Speaker 1: of time. Yes, Steve, you or say right, we gotta

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Speaker 1: get out of here. I be damn cometter. Come on,

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Speaker 1: we gotta go. Email us there Instagram. That's your thoughts

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Speaker 1: at my girls, Shirley. On today's Strawberry Letter, you're listening

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Speaker 1: to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.