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Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: but it is time for him to go. Joe Biden

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Speaker 1: must withdraw his name for nomination for reelection as President

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Speaker 1: of the United States. He should release his delegates with

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Speaker 1: instructions that they should vote for Kamala Harris for president.

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Speaker 1: I don't mean to treat this more lightly than it

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Speaker 1: seemingly deserves. I do not make a comparison between their conditions,

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Speaker 1: but truly to have said those words makes me feel

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Speaker 1: like I felt the day I had to make the

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Speaker 1: decision to stop the medical treatments that were keeping my

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Speaker 1: father alive. But there is a time for emotion and

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Speaker 1: a time for being emotionless, and this is the latter.

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Speaker 1: We can, I hope, spend the next twenty years embracing

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Speaker 1: Joe Biden and the greatest sacrifice made by any American

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Speaker 1: politician in our lifetimes, while we also celebrate Trump being

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Speaker 1: turned down by the pardon board for the twentieth consecutive

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Speaker 1: year later, we need now to make those things happen.

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Speaker 1: The essence of the problem boils down. I think to

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Speaker 1: five points. First, democracy lives or dies on the outcome

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Speaker 1: of this election. Also the climate and thus continuing life

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Speaker 1: of all kinds on this planet. Second, the long awaited

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Speaker 1: fob push in private is complete. Friends of Biden O

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Speaker 1: be noon yesterday was I think the final semi private

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Speaker 1: warning before they all go public. There appeared at that

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Speaker 1: hour in the Washington Post News that President Obama had

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Speaker 1: told allies in recent days that the Biden path to

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Speaker 1: victory had greatly diminished and that his vice president needs

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Speaker 1: to seriously rethink the viability of his candidacy. The Post

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Speaker 1: reports Nancy Pelosi called Obama. We know from CNN that

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Speaker 1: Pelosi got on the phone with Biden about how bad

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Speaker 1: the polls are and how the bleeding had spread to

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Speaker 1: the House races, and CNN reports he got defensive. The

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Speaker 1: Clintons may have done what Obama is doing, let something

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Speaker 1: leak publicly. First, we knew Wednesday that Chuck Schumer had

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Speaker 1: told Biden privately last Saturday that he should drop out

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Speaker 1: a Keen Jeffries in private, we know Adam Schiff was

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Speaker 1: the first big name to go off the public diving

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Speaker 1: board into the pool of unknown depth and call for

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Speaker 1: him to withdraw. CNN and The Times and Axios all

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Speaker 1: said the President was more receptive now to outside input.

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Speaker 1: Even like that. Axios also said he was more dug

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Speaker 1: in than ever before. Axios also said he is also

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Speaker 1: resigned to the pressure and the polls and could drop

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Speaker 1: out as soon as this weekend. And that's how to

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Speaker 1: cover politics. Three possible outcomes, predict all three of them

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Speaker 1: will happen. Be Steven A. Smith. I will again report

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Speaker 1: what I reported yesterday and just referenced. If the President

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Speaker 1: does not bow out presently, maybe my Monday, the fobs,

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Speaker 1: some combination of Obama, the Clintons, Pelosi, Schumer, Jeffrees, maybe

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Speaker 1: others will gently and with that same sense of bereavement,

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Speaker 1: I feel, go public and force President Biden to get out,

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Speaker 1: merely to repair the damage that such an unprecedented vote

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Speaker 1: of no confidence would represent. It would be manipulative on

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Speaker 1: the part of the Fobs, but powerful. Third point, as

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Speaker 1: I said previously, America will always choose the old man

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Speaker 1: yelling at the cloud, especially instead of the old man

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Speaker 1: whispering intelligently but inaudibly. This nation elected Reagan twice and

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Speaker 1: George W. Bush twice. And even if you don't think

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Speaker 1: w was an old man, you will agree he was

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Speaker 1: an old man in spirit. In fact, I believe you

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Speaker 1: could look at every presidential election since the invention of

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Speaker 1: recorded sound and not find one in which a candidate

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Speaker 1: who was often literally unintelligible defeated one who was not.

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Speaker 1: Trump may be saying crazier and crazier things, but those

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Speaker 1: persuadable voters are having trouble understanding what President Biden is saying. Fourth,

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Speaker 1: as he has voiced in every public appearance since the debate, interviews,

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Speaker 1: news conferences, speeches, the debate itself, the President believes he

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Speaker 1: will be re elected because he's done such a good job,

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Speaker 1: and I refer you to the noted political analyst Mae

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Speaker 1: West and her observation that goodness has nothing to do

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Speaker 1: with it. He has done such a good job, a

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Speaker 1: great job. This, however, is not how you beat a

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Speaker 1: liar promising the gullible that he will bring them eternal life.

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Speaker 1: They didn't beat Jim Jones that way, and Biden did

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Speaker 1: not beat Trump that way four years ago. It is

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Speaker 1: both a crisis and a tragedy that American politics has

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Speaker 1: devolved into what it is now, But it would be

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Speaker 1: more of a tragedy if Joe and the holdout Democratic

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Speaker 1: leaders denied that it has so devolved, and fifth, the

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Speaker 1: polls are cratering forty seven of them the last forty

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Speaker 1: seven polls, Trump leads them all. I'm beginning to spot

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Speaker 1: a pattern. The polls underscore a simple reality that the

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Speaker 1: situation the Democratic and Democracy campaigns are now in is

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Speaker 1: not about Joe Biden somehow maintaining the status quo, nor

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Speaker 1: even making up the ground lost since the debate. Before

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Speaker 1: the debate he needed to improve down the stretch. How

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Speaker 1: even if they found him the proverbial fountain of youth,

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Speaker 1: how would they still stop the parsing of every utterance

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Speaker 1: for a slip. How could we stop what is now

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Speaker 1: the ingrained default position, not just of today's incomparably unqualified

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Speaker 1: political reporters, but of today's incomparably uninformed political voters. We

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Speaker 1: all look for failure, not success. We all remember the

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Speaker 1: wrong name said, not the right one. Even the people

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Speaker 1: who will make more mistakes in the next hour then

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Speaker 1: Joe Biden will in the rest of his life, will

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Speaker 1: do so because pointing at his mistakes also allows them

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Speaker 1: to ignore their own mistakes and don't blame someone else.

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Speaker 1: I'm not blaming someone else. What do you and I

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Speaker 1: remember from the speeches of Trump that he's crazy and

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Speaker 1: he's evil, and far more easily that he gets all

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Speaker 1: the goddamn names and words wrong. We are living in

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Speaker 1: snark America, and snark feeds on mistakes. In the new poles, however,

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Speaker 1: there is both the nettle that must be grasped and

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Speaker 1: in that the pained relief that, no, we are not

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Speaker 1: throwing away a victory of some kind by changing horses

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Speaker 1: so well past midstream, but in other new poles by

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Speaker 1: the same company at the same time that didn't get

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Speaker 1: one thousandth of the coverage. The prospect for redemption that

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Speaker 1: a new candidate will bring is glimpsed polling by Emerson

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Speaker 1: College Monday and Tuesday, widely reported yesterday, widely accepted nationally.

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Speaker 1: It was Trump by two earlier in the month. In

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Speaker 1: this poll, it is now Trump by four. In this poll,

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Speaker 1: Biden is now losing in all seven original swing states,

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Speaker 1: by three in Michigan, Nevada, and Wisconsin, by five in Georgia,

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Speaker 1: by six in Pennsylvania, by nine in North Carolina, by

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Speaker 1: ten in Arizona. Since March, in the Emerson poll, President

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Speaker 1: Biden has lost an average of two points in each

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Speaker 1: of the seven swing states. Those numbers are cataclysmic, yet

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Speaker 1: they are only half the numbers. Emerson is not considered

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Speaker 1: the gold standard in polling, but honest to God, how

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Speaker 1: close do they have to be if Trump is beating

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Speaker 1: Biden by ten in Arizona and six in Pennsylvania. Adding

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Speaker 1: to the uncertainty about the exactitude of this data is

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Speaker 1: the sponsor of this Emerson poll, the Bill Harris super

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Speaker 1: Pack Democrats for the Next Generation, which has not only

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Speaker 1: come out of nowhere to push hard for Biden to

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Speaker 1: drop out, but propose this nonsensical mini primary and pledged

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Speaker 1: to underwrite it. So just to climb further out onto

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Speaker 1: this particular Harris limb on Democrats for the Next Generation's behested.

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Speaker 1: Emerson also asked another question of the voters in those

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Speaker 1: swing states where Biden is losing on average now by

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Speaker 1: five and a half points. The question is really self fulfilling.

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Speaker 1: It's almost on the level of for people who like

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Speaker 1: this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing

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Speaker 1: they like, but the results are so large, they're so

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Speaker 1: startling that it's worth listening to them as some kind

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Speaker 1: of guide post. In imagine, the pollsters asked always a

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Speaker 1: bad start to a poll question. Imagine you have to

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Speaker 1: choose between two people for president, Donald Trump or another candidate.

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Speaker 1: The other candidate is a younger Democrat who is qualified

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Speaker 1: for the job. How would you decide who to pick?

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Speaker 1: Should have also asked them how many things were wrong

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Speaker 1: with that question? Imagine? Also, what does younger mean define

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Speaker 1: qualified for the job? Please? What if the voter thinks

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Speaker 1: you're asking them about Taylor Swift? What do pass poles

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Speaker 1: tell us about how much better nameless imaginary candidates do

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Speaker 1: than real life ones. Still, these are the results in

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Speaker 1: North Carolina, the imaginary younger Democrat beats Trump by two.

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Speaker 1: In Arizona and Pennsylvania, he or she beats Trump by

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Speaker 1: six in Nevada and Wisconsin. The Democrat beats Trump by

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Speaker 1: eight in Georgia and Michigan. It is your invisible little

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Speaker 1: Democratic friend by ten. So that's over here. Biden losing

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Speaker 1: to Trump in the seven Swing states by five and

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Speaker 1: a half in each state. Or the generic imaginary qualified

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Speaker 1: younger Democrat, let's call her for the sake of argument,

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Speaker 1: t Swizzle beating Trump in the seven Swing states by

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Speaker 1: more than seven points in each state. That would be better.

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Speaker 1: That would be better by just under let's see the

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Speaker 1: swing is just under thirteen points. Again, I'm assuming there

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Speaker 1: is a lot wrong with the pole company, with the pole,

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Speaker 1: with the sponsor, with the question, with the built in

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Speaker 1: imaginary stuff, with the self fulfilling prophecy element. But how

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Speaker 1: much wrong does it have to be before it stops

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Speaker 1: giving a clear indication that, yes, even now, a different

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Speaker 1: Democrat will do better on November fifth than will President Biden.

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Speaker 1: That is ultimately the only question, and there is some,

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Speaker 1: i think infallible intuitive logic behind this. The nation, even

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Speaker 1: if one hundred percent of those intending to vote for

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Speaker 1: Biden would still vote for him, will still vote for him,

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Speaker 1: no matter what is crying out for a younger, less

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Speaker 1: viscerally flawed candidate. There are drawbacks and prejudices and uncharted territory.

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Speaker 1: And every American who is worried about America's willingness to

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Speaker 1: elect a woman of color as president on sixteen weeks

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Speaker 1: notice should worry, but should also remember that America has

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Speaker 1: elected a man of color twice and given more popular

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Speaker 1: votes to a woman in the only three elections in

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Speaker 1: which representatives of either group have stood for the office,

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Speaker 1: and those three elections have happened in the last four elections.

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Speaker 1: One note about process here. I have remained, as I

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Speaker 1: keep using this term, agnostic about this because to me,

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Speaker 1: until and unless President Biden was ready to step away

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Speaker 1: or ready to be convinced to step away, and there

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Speaker 1: were clear indications and some reports yesterday and late Wednesday

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Speaker 1: that he was at least willing to have the meetings,

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Speaker 1: if not take the action. Until that point, I wanted

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Speaker 1: to tamp down the discussion and leave it behind the

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Speaker 1: scenes where it belonged, because the moment it went public

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Speaker 1: there would be only two remaining options. He quits, where

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Speaker 1: he goes right through until midnight strikes on November fourth

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Speaker 1: and fifth, being told he still needs to quit. And

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Speaker 1: that is where we are now. We got there on

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Speaker 1: the night of the debate. Not your fault, not my fault,

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Speaker 1: the president's fault, and there is only one way out

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Speaker 1: of this place. I have had my doubts for the

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Speaker 1: most practical reason, which I outlined earlier, for at least

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Speaker 1: a year. And that practical reason, when was the last

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Speaker 1: time a presidential candidate down by two or three or

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Speaker 1: four nationally and at least that much in all the

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Speaker 1: swing states roared back in the final one hundred days,

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Speaker 1: when he no longer had the ability to literally roar.

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Speaker 1: But things seemed to have stabilized, and obviously, given whatever

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Speaker 1: has been inhibiting President Biden, that State of the Union

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Speaker 1: address was the speech of his lifetime and one of

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Speaker 1: the greatest speeches in American political history. And you may

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Speaker 1: recall that the dump him movement went silent that night,

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Speaker 1: and it stayed silent until the debate. It was buckle

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Speaker 1: up and hope for the best, and we did not

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Speaker 1: get the best. We may have gotten the best possible,

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Speaker 1: but it is clear now it is not enough. And no,

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Speaker 1: this may not work either, but I think, having thought

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Speaker 1: about little else for the last year, this has a

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Speaker 1: better chance of working than staying with Joe Biden does.

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Speaker 1: I will add two more things. I am not surprised

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Speaker 1: things like this never work out in real life, but

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Speaker 1: I am sorry they could not have arranged for the

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Speaker 1: President to step aside during Trump's acceptance speech last night

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Speaker 1: and watch the networks cutaway. Don't make that face. This

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Speaker 1: always works when you can do it. Eleven years ago,

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Speaker 1: ESPN and I were talking about me going back there

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Speaker 1: after fifteen years of pretty much NonStop nuclear war. They

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Speaker 1: liked the idea. We had a good plan for a show,

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Speaker 1: but there was no compelling reason to actually do it.

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Speaker 1: And then Fox announced it was launching two new all

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Speaker 1: sports cable networks, and it vowed to take ESPN's business

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Speaker 1: away from it. And that's when the plot was hatched.

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Speaker 1: Fox scheduled and made a lot of noise about a

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Speaker 1: launch party for its new networks, a launch party on

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Speaker 1: July seventeenth, twenty thirteen, at their movie studio, a lot

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Speaker 1: on Pico Boulevard in La and they spent money. They

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Speaker 1: flew in writers from local newspapers around the country, and

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Speaker 1: on July seventeenth, we let them have about an hour

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Speaker 1: or so of fun and booze and food. And then

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Speaker 1: ESPN put out a press release announcing that after fifteen

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Speaker 1: years of nuclear war, Keith Alberman is returning to ESPN.

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Speaker 1: There is literally video of those writers streaming out of

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Speaker 1: the party to go write stories not about Fox but

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Speaker 1: about me and ESPN sports writers who left free food.

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Speaker 1: The trick works every time, and I'll add it could

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Speaker 1: still work if President Biden were to use it today.

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Speaker 1: And yes, the last note here, I am trying to

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Speaker 1: make myself laugh, so I don't cry. As I alluded

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Speaker 1: to earlier, this is as striking a moment to me

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Speaker 1: as was the day I had to tell them to

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Speaker 1: disconnect my father's life support. It was the right decision,

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Speaker 1: even from his own unconscious body language as it happened,

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Speaker 1: I think he knew it, and he too knew it

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Speaker 1: was the right decision. And thirteen years and four months later,

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Speaker 1: I have had only one regret, only one. And maybe

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Speaker 1: it's useful here, and maybe it's not. Maybe it's just

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Speaker 1: about me. I don't know. You be the judge. But

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Speaker 1: my one regret after all this time is this, I

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Speaker 1: waited about two weeks too long, because for those two

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Speaker 1: weeks I just couldn't do it. Also, the Republican Convention

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Speaker 1: is over, the Festival of Whites is at an end.

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Speaker 1: Asshole con twenty four is complete, and the headline you

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Speaker 1: did not hear. There is now even more evidence today

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Speaker 1: that Trump is lying about having actually been hit by

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Speaker 1: a bullet. The investigative unit at w Television in Pittsburgh

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Speaker 1: reports that four police officers from that city assigned Trump's

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Speaker 1: motorcade Saturday in Butler, Pennsylvania, were standing just feet from

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Speaker 1: Trump when the shots rang out, and they too were wounded.

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Speaker 1: The policemen were hit by quote either plastic or metal

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Speaker 1: fragments when the bullets struck objects nearby. The four officers

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Speaker 1: suffered minor injuries from flying debris caused by the bullets,

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Speaker 1: but Trump, standing next to them, and not next to

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Speaker 1: any of the gunshot victims, he was hit by a bullet,

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Speaker 1: not a piece of plastic or metal, even though Secret

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Speaker 1: Service sources confirmed before Trump was out of the Pennsylvania

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Speaker 1: hospital that he had not been shot with a bullet,

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Speaker 1: but had suffered a minor ear injury due to being

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Speaker 1: hit by flying debris, probably glass, possibly from a teleprompter screen.

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Speaker 1: Even though there has been no Secret Service report indicating

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Speaker 1: Trump was shot, no police report indicating Trump was shot,

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Speaker 1: no hospital reports that his injuries were consistent with those

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Speaker 1: produced by a bullet, no investigation indicating that a bullet

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Speaker 1: hit him or anywhere near him. And of course Trump

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Speaker 1: would never lie about something like this, and he and

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Speaker 1: his handlers would never trot out the gear of the fireman,

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Speaker 1: the bystander who was actually killed Saturday, as if the

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Speaker 1: pieces of his equipment were religious relics. Certainly they wouldn't

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Speaker 1: do that, and misspell the man's name. His name was misspelled.

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Speaker 1: That Trump survived an assassination attempt is not in doubt

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Speaker 1: here that it was a close call. Is in doubt

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Speaker 1: that it looks more and more like he exaggerated the

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Speaker 1: gravity of his injuries and especially what caused them. And

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Speaker 1: he seemingly has put some kind of restriction on anybody

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Speaker 1: saying either yes he was shot or no, he wasn't shot.

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Speaker 1: It was a piece of plastic like maybe he had

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Speaker 1: invoked Hippa regulations. That is essential to understanding this the

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Speaker 1: latest in his endless series of cons and also the

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Speaker 1: new religious overtones to Trump's hold on the unwashed and

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Speaker 1: the unloved who have been so mercilessly exploited by Trump's

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Speaker 1: new Republican fascist party, and the latest reason that idiots

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Speaker 1: like Politico's Natalie Allison would publish a preview of Trump's

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Speaker 1: acceptance speech just five hours before he gave it, in

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Speaker 1: which she claimed quote, there appears to be a new

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Speaker 1: softness to Trump, with people who've talked to him describing

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Speaker 1: him with words like existential, serene, emotional, and even spiritual.

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Speaker 1: Hey you left out misspelled? Yeah? And which does this

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Speaker 1: sound like? Is this the existential part, or the serene,

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Speaker 1: or the emotional or the spiritual. Was this the pivot

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Speaker 1: or maybe this was just the same goddamned selfish thing

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Speaker 1: he posted literally hours after that deadly piece of plastic

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Speaker 1: just missed him and cut his ear. A Republican maga

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Speaker 1: shot at me, So all criminal charges against me must

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Speaker 1: be dropped. Because unity, we.

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Speaker 2: Must not criminalize dissent or demonize political disagreement, which is

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Speaker 2: what's been happening in our country lately at a level

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Speaker 2: that nobody has ever seen before. In that spirit, the

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Speaker 2: Democrat Party should immediately stop weaponizing the justice system and

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Speaker 2: labeling their political opponent as an enemy of democracy, especially

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Speaker 2: since that is not true. In fact, I am the

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Speaker 2: one saving democracy for the people of our contract.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that's the new ooh Trump. After his record breaking

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Speaker 1: nine hundred and forty third pivot since the year twenty sixteen,

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Speaker 1: he has changed just as you would have had you

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Speaker 1: survived by just inches the assassin shard of glass, bullet, bullet,

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Speaker 1: assassin's bullet. Of course, he was hit by a bullet.

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Speaker 1: What are you crazy? Just because people standing next to

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Speaker 1: him were hit by glass. He's Trump. He got a

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Speaker 1: bullet of course, he got a bullet, a deluxe bullet.

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Speaker 1: Two other notes. First, my seemingly weakly offer to get

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Speaker 1: a conservative a free CT scan because just on a

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Speaker 1: human level, I'm concerned about their brain. Goes out today

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Speaker 1: to Marjorie Taylor Green, Neanderthal woman appeared on bright Bart

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Speaker 1: News from asshole con and I swear the interviewer had

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Speaker 1: one of those foreheads that juts forward like australopithecus, and

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Speaker 1: she Neanderthal woman claimed Trump was saved from assassination by

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Speaker 1: an angel flag. It seems like God's hand is on

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Speaker 1: his shoulder.

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Speaker 3: You thought, I believe it. I believe we all witnessed

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Speaker 3: a miracle literally from you know, before it happened. The

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Speaker 3: flag above got blown in the wind and it got

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Speaker 3: tied into literally what looked like an angel.

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Speaker 1: Did you see that video? Oh my gosh, you guys.

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Speaker 3: Have to find that. It was truly, it was like

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Speaker 3: an angel coming down. It was the American flag tied.

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Speaker 3: They had to bring it down and all the people

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Speaker 3: in the sands helped unravel it, and it was literally

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Speaker 3: before he came out on the stage.

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Speaker 1: The only thing unraveling here is Marge. One of the

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Speaker 1: real giveaways that even they don't believe Marge when she

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Speaker 1: goes into one of her ecstatic religious trances like that

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Speaker 1: is this bright Bart put a whole story out about

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Speaker 1: this angel flag interview with her on its website, and

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Speaker 1: it used the clip, including the weird interviewer guy, and

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Speaker 1: it did not post the video of the flag that

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Speaker 1: supposedly wrapped itself into the shape of an angel, not

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Speaker 1: even a still photo. You know why not because the

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Speaker 1: flag didn't look a flipping thing like an angel. Google

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Speaker 1: it Google Trump angel flag and you'll see what it

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Speaker 1: looked like. I vowed to say to you the first

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Speaker 1: thing it made me think of the moment I saw it,

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Speaker 1: And the first thing it made me think of was

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Speaker 1: a sickle as in Grim Reaper. The flag looked like

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Speaker 1: that curved sharp blade the sickle at the top of

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Speaker 1: the sickle, and there was even part of the handle too.

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Speaker 1: And no, the flag didn't turn into a sickle either.

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Speaker 1: So Marge, it's my offer, free cat scan. And lastly,

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Speaker 1: lou Dobbs died. He was once a respected business anchor

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Speaker 1: on CNN, and then a not so respected business anchor

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Speaker 1: on CNN, and then an original Berther and incredibly he

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Speaker 1: was still host of his own CNN show until they

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Speaker 1: finally fired him in two thousand and nine. He went

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Speaker 1: to Fox Business and got increasingly fascist and crazy, and

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Speaker 1: naturally he connected with Trump, and by twenty twenty he

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Speaker 1: was pushing the election bullshit, and especially the hallucination that

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Speaker 1: January sixth was Antifa or George Soros or Soros Tifa

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Speaker 1: or whatever, and that the election was rigged by socialist

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Speaker 1: zombie extraterrestrials from the planet Skyron and the Galaxy of

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Speaker 1: Andromeda using Smartmatic machines. And when Smartmatic sued Fox for

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Speaker 1: two billion, seven hundred million dollars, Lou Dobbs was one

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Speaker 1: of only three Fox anchors actually named in the suit.

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Speaker 1: Fox fired him on February fifth, twenty twenty one, and

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Speaker 1: his show wound up streaming on Mike Lindell's Pillow website.

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Speaker 1: I have previously mentioned my extraordinary personal connection to b

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Speaker 1: Lou Dobbs. He was a CNN original based with the

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Speaker 1: rest of CNN's old nightly business show in the New

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Speaker 1: York Bureau. I had interviewed with CNN Sports for a

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Speaker 1: job twice in its first year on the air, when

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Speaker 1: I was still in radio and they were interested, and

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Speaker 1: I was interested. And then one Thursday I got a

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Speaker 1: call asking if I could fill in for two weeks

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Speaker 1: as the sports reporter in the New York Bureau, and

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Speaker 1: I said sure, and they said Monday. Only after I

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Speaker 1: had been there a few days did I ask what

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Speaker 1: had happened to their regular sports reporter, a woman I

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Speaker 1: had met several times on stories named Debbie Sigura. I

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Speaker 1: was told by our producer that Debbie Sigura and her

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Speaker 1: boyfriend Lou Dobbs had suddenly gone on vacation. Then one

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Speaker 1: of the cameramen, once the producer was out of the way,

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Speaker 1: said the boyfriend right. He relayed that Dobbs had suddenly

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Speaker 1: been found out by Missus Dobbs, and by Dobbs's mistress,

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Speaker 1: and by the executive in the New York Bureau he

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Speaker 1: was supposedly gallivanting around with as well. All at once

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Speaker 1: they found out. So Lou had to get out of

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Speaker 1: town fast, but I mean really fast. Ultimately, Dobbs and

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Speaker 1: Debbie moved to Atlanta and got married, and I got

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Speaker 1: Debbie's job in New York. And when I left that

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Speaker 1: job to go into local TV, CNN sent up an

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Speaker 1: anchor they had in Atlanta to replace me as the

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Speaker 1: New York sports reporter. His name was Dan Patrick. So

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Speaker 1: Lou Dobbs inadvertently invented SportsCenter Lewis Carl Dobbs CNN original

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Speaker 1: is dead and you know how old he was. He

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Speaker 1: was two hundred and six. Also of interest, here, I

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Speaker 1: can count on the fingers of one hand the number

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Speaker 1: of times the same guy, one worst person two shows

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Speaker 1: in a row. I think Dobbs did it. It has

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Speaker 1: happened again. The guy went on CNN and announced, quote,

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Speaker 1: a bullet couldn't stop Trump, A virus just stopped Biden.

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Speaker 1: And the guy is an idiot. Those are your clues

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Speaker 1: the malefactor's identity. Next, this is countdown. This is countdown

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Speaker 1: with Keith Olberman, my crazy friend, still ahead of us

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Speaker 1: on this editiative countdown. In the wake of the Republican Party,

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Speaker 1: which started with Lincoln, all right, he was there. What

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Speaker 1: third presidential nominee after John Fremont and somebody else started

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Speaker 1: with Lincoln moved on to Teddy Roosevelt even offered this

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Speaker 1: nation the useful boredom of Dwight E. Eisenhower. In the fifties,

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Speaker 1: the Republican Party nominated a convicted felon and the plotter

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Speaker 1: of an attempt to violently overthrow the government of the

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Speaker 1: United States, and a psychopath. In the wake of that,

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Speaker 1: there is only one story for me to read to you.

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Speaker 1: In our weekly visits with the Master, the greatest man

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Speaker 1: in the world. On Fridays with Thurber, I had first

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Speaker 1: still more idiots to talk about the daily roundup of

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Speaker 1: the worst persons in the world. We cover the world

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Speaker 1: here the daily roundup of the misgrants, morons and Dunning

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Speaker 1: Kruger effects specimens who constitute two days worse persons in

429
00:30:45,435 --> 00:30:50,835
Speaker 1: the world. Lebron's worse, says our Condey, chairman of NBC News.

430
00:30:50,875 --> 00:30:54,195
Speaker 1: I've told you before about him, back when I concluded

431
00:30:54,315 --> 00:30:58,235
Speaker 1: ten years of listening to MSNBC about going back there.

432
00:30:58,915 --> 00:31:02,315
Speaker 1: Sometimes they started the conversation. Sometimes I started the conversation,

433
00:31:02,715 --> 00:31:06,195
Speaker 1: says Our Condey. Had assistant asked me if I was

434
00:31:06,235 --> 00:31:09,595
Speaker 1: available for breakfast on fairly short notice to talk about

435
00:31:09,635 --> 00:31:12,875
Speaker 1: a new version of Countdown. I said, of course. She

436
00:31:13,035 --> 00:31:16,235
Speaker 1: selected a restaurant, I said, of course. Minutes later she

437
00:31:16,355 --> 00:31:19,115
Speaker 1: emailed back to say, oh, sorry, he's going to be

438
00:31:19,155 --> 00:31:22,115
Speaker 1: away in the rest of this week. We'll have to postpone.

439
00:31:23,835 --> 00:31:27,395
Speaker 1: Little did I know that that was the pinnacle of

440
00:31:27,515 --> 00:31:33,275
Speaker 1: Saesar Condey's NBC news career, Puck News, and I believe

441
00:31:33,315 --> 00:31:35,635
Speaker 1: they changed that from the original name, which was something

442
00:31:35,795 --> 00:31:40,915
Speaker 1: like puck Puck News reports that he not the head

443
00:31:40,915 --> 00:31:43,675
Speaker 1: of MSNBC, not even the president of NBC News. He

444
00:31:43,755 --> 00:31:46,955
Speaker 1: Sayesar Conde was the idiot who decided that they should

445
00:31:46,955 --> 00:31:50,515
Speaker 1: take their morning political gossip show off the air Monday,

446
00:31:50,955 --> 00:31:53,275
Speaker 1: even though its entire two hundred and forty three member

447
00:31:53,355 --> 00:31:56,475
Speaker 1: cast was already in the studios the day the Republican

448
00:31:56,515 --> 00:32:00,555
Speaker 1: Convention began in Milwaukee. CNN reported that Condy decided this

449
00:32:00,715 --> 00:32:02,915
Speaker 1: was the right call out of fear that somebody would

450
00:32:02,955 --> 00:32:07,075
Speaker 1: say something that would piss off the Trump Nazis. As

451
00:32:07,115 --> 00:32:10,355
Speaker 1: I noted, this was exactly the MSNBC NBC reaction in

452
00:32:10,355 --> 00:32:14,115
Speaker 1: two thousand and eight, when the Republicans leaned on Tom

453
00:32:14,155 --> 00:32:18,395
Speaker 1: Brokaw and Brokaw blackmailed NBC management into removing me and

454
00:32:18,475 --> 00:32:21,275
Speaker 1: Matthews from covering the rest of the convention and the

455
00:32:21,315 --> 00:32:26,195
Speaker 1: debates that year. Puck News, however, which employs a media

456
00:32:26,235 --> 00:32:29,595
Speaker 1: writer with a one hundred percent score from the Committee

457
00:32:29,635 --> 00:32:33,835
Speaker 1: to defend corporate news management, at all costs. He says, No,

458
00:32:33,955 --> 00:32:37,835
Speaker 1: it wasn't censorship, it was condy thinking that quote, he

459
00:32:37,875 --> 00:32:42,755
Speaker 1: would preempt all of MSNBC's perspective programming with the rolling

460
00:32:42,835 --> 00:32:46,555
Speaker 1: news coverage from the NBC broadcast feed. In other words,

461
00:32:46,595 --> 00:32:50,955
Speaker 1: no Scarborough, no Mado Hayes, O'Donnell, No what's your name

462
00:32:50,955 --> 00:32:53,715
Speaker 1: at night? Know the other? What's your name at night?

463
00:32:54,195 --> 00:32:57,155
Speaker 1: Know the on the weekend? What's their names? All of

464
00:32:57,195 --> 00:33:01,355
Speaker 1: them off the air. As Puck wrote, quote, Conday had

465
00:33:01,395 --> 00:33:06,075
Speaker 1: been peaked, peaked at by Puck the idea of mobilizing

466
00:33:06,115 --> 00:33:09,475
Speaker 1: his news platforms to cover a major news event, just

467
00:33:09,515 --> 00:33:13,555
Speaker 1: as CNN might, only to be reminded that the network's

468
00:33:13,595 --> 00:33:20,955
Speaker 1: real value proposition was the perspective itself. So wait this moron.

469
00:33:21,035 --> 00:33:24,875
Speaker 1: Conde had started that morning at NBC. Oh no, he's

470
00:33:24,915 --> 00:33:27,835
Speaker 1: been chairman of NBC News since May twenty twenty. He's

471
00:33:27,835 --> 00:33:30,595
Speaker 1: been on the job for four freaking years and two months,

472
00:33:30,795 --> 00:33:36,075
Speaker 1: and just Monday he realized that you can't just replace

473
00:33:36,155 --> 00:33:40,275
Speaker 1: the opinion programs on MSNBC with generic news coverage. And

474
00:33:40,355 --> 00:33:43,915
Speaker 1: I hate Scarborough like I hate few people in life.

475
00:33:43,955 --> 00:33:47,035
Speaker 1: He truly is the scum of the earth. But they

476
00:33:47,115 --> 00:33:52,395
Speaker 1: replaced him and missus Joey Scars with Savannah Sellers and

477
00:33:52,595 --> 00:33:57,395
Speaker 1: Joe Fryar of NBC News Now. And I've never heard

478
00:33:57,435 --> 00:34:00,315
Speaker 1: of Savannah Sellers and Joe Fryar, And in fact, if

479
00:34:00,315 --> 00:34:02,275
Speaker 1: you asked me, I would have said they sounded like

480
00:34:02,595 --> 00:34:06,595
Speaker 1: never seen offstage minor characters from the TV series The

481
00:34:06,675 --> 00:34:10,515
Speaker 1: Morning Show, and the chairman of the News division somehow

482
00:34:10,595 --> 00:34:15,595
Speaker 1: thought that Savannah Sellers and Joe Fryer would do better

483
00:34:15,675 --> 00:34:20,155
Speaker 1: in the ratings. For twenty eight years now, executives at

484
00:34:20,235 --> 00:34:23,835
Speaker 1: NBC have never accepted the reality that they can't just

485
00:34:24,075 --> 00:34:27,955
Speaker 1: use MSNBC or CNBC or any of the other channels

486
00:34:27,995 --> 00:34:31,395
Speaker 1: they own for that matter, as a spillover channel for

487
00:34:31,475 --> 00:34:34,635
Speaker 1: when there's really news and just fill it the rest

488
00:34:34,635 --> 00:34:38,075
Speaker 1: of the time with you know, other crap. Just put

489
00:34:38,075 --> 00:34:41,435
Speaker 1: on that Rachelle woman or whatever her name is, Meadows,

490
00:34:41,555 --> 00:34:45,995
Speaker 1: Just put on that Meadows woman. This dynamic, let's establish

491
00:34:46,075 --> 00:34:49,235
Speaker 1: a news based network with appointment viewing and its own

492
00:34:49,315 --> 00:34:52,715
Speaker 1: stars that makes money hand over fist. This has fought

493
00:34:52,755 --> 00:34:55,835
Speaker 1: with this other cynical dream of we can put on

494
00:34:55,915 --> 00:34:58,195
Speaker 1: all the stuff we can't fit into the Today Show

495
00:34:58,475 --> 00:35:00,915
Speaker 1: and we can train people on a cable, and when

496
00:35:00,915 --> 00:35:03,275
Speaker 1: they get good enough, we promote them to real NBC.

497
00:35:03,715 --> 00:35:07,075
Speaker 1: This has gone on, off and on, waxing and waning

498
00:35:07,275 --> 00:35:13,035
Speaker 1: since nineteen freaking ninety six. Generation after generation of producers

499
00:35:13,035 --> 00:35:17,515
Speaker 1: and executives and broadcasters have lived and died as first

500
00:35:17,595 --> 00:35:20,435
Speaker 1: one boss said make it its own network, and then

501
00:35:20,475 --> 00:35:24,635
Speaker 1: the next one said, no, America loves NBC News. MSNBC

502
00:35:24,795 --> 00:35:30,515
Speaker 1: must be NBC News Junior, MNBC News Triple A, and

503
00:35:30,555 --> 00:35:33,755
Speaker 1: then back to the first guy again. When we finally

504
00:35:33,755 --> 00:35:37,155
Speaker 1: got MSNBC profitable two thousand and five or two thousand

505
00:35:37,155 --> 00:35:40,755
Speaker 1: and six, instead of losing tens of millions of dollars

506
00:35:40,835 --> 00:35:44,075
Speaker 1: a year for the entirety of its first decade, all

507
00:35:44,115 --> 00:35:46,235
Speaker 1: of a sudden it started making hundreds of millions of

508
00:35:46,275 --> 00:35:50,835
Speaker 1: dollars because I yelled at George Bush. Since the day

509
00:35:50,875 --> 00:35:54,955
Speaker 1: I started doing special comments, MSNBC has earned its owners

510
00:35:55,515 --> 00:36:02,355
Speaker 1: ge and now Comcast, several billion dollars. But management's response became, well,

511
00:36:02,395 --> 00:36:04,995
Speaker 1: that's nice. We liked the billions of dollars, but we

512
00:36:05,035 --> 00:36:08,755
Speaker 1: wanted to make that money without any controversy and without

513
00:36:08,835 --> 00:36:11,195
Speaker 1: us having to stay past five PM to deal with

514
00:36:11,235 --> 00:36:16,795
Speaker 1: the controversy. And they're still doing it, or this guy

515
00:36:16,955 --> 00:36:21,875
Speaker 1: Conde is just a fool or both. The solution, by

516
00:36:21,915 --> 00:36:24,715
Speaker 1: the way, which I presented to them in a long

517
00:36:24,835 --> 00:36:29,035
Speaker 1: memo in two thousand and three, which I'll read here

518
00:36:29,075 --> 00:36:33,635
Speaker 1: one day soon, is actually simple. Stop calling MSNBC, MSNBC

519
00:36:34,355 --> 00:36:37,715
Speaker 1: caught anything else. Call it the American News Channel, caught,

520
00:36:37,715 --> 00:36:41,955
Speaker 1: the Politics Channel, caught, ethel the Frog, anything, anything that

521
00:36:41,995 --> 00:36:48,915
Speaker 1: doesn't have NBC in it, and you'll be fine. Silver

522
00:36:49,035 --> 00:36:54,155
Speaker 1: worser Matt Gates, Florida congressman and botox enthusiast, after his

523
00:36:54,235 --> 00:36:57,115
Speaker 1: speech to the Republican National Fascist Convention, in which he

524
00:36:57,155 --> 00:37:00,355
Speaker 1: looked like something in the way of a living iPhone filter.

525
00:37:00,955 --> 00:37:03,075
Speaker 1: I'm waiting for Gates to do a commercial in which

526
00:37:03,115 --> 00:37:11,155
Speaker 1: he says, aha uh sal kunfabo docs a side side cutta. Well,

527
00:37:11,435 --> 00:37:16,035
Speaker 1: I'll be able to move my mouth again. But there's

528
00:37:16,075 --> 00:37:19,075
Speaker 1: a larger issue here. The guy looked like he had

529
00:37:19,155 --> 00:37:23,315
Speaker 1: left his face home and had gotten one drawn on

530
00:37:23,715 --> 00:37:29,755
Speaker 1: for him. He looked like late stage Bruce Jenner CNNMSNBC, Fox,

531
00:37:29,875 --> 00:37:34,715
Speaker 1: BBC News, ethel Lefrog News. Dozens of small outlets covered

532
00:37:34,795 --> 00:37:39,075
Speaker 1: the convention wall to wall, and did anybody say, you know,

533
00:37:39,275 --> 00:37:43,235
Speaker 1: Gates looks like somebody just laminated him. I mean, the

534
00:37:43,355 --> 00:37:47,315
Speaker 1: concept of covering political conventions had died in the nineteen nineties.

535
00:37:47,555 --> 00:37:51,795
Speaker 1: Nobody watched them, nothing happened. The original idea was that's

536
00:37:51,835 --> 00:37:55,115
Speaker 1: where they nominated the presidential candidates. That's why you were

537
00:37:55,235 --> 00:37:59,275
Speaker 1: there to see who the presidential candidate would be. That

538
00:37:59,435 --> 00:38:04,355
Speaker 1: stopped years ago. Nothing happens now maybe this year. But

539
00:38:04,435 --> 00:38:07,675
Speaker 1: they're cheap filler for cable news networks even if nothing happens,

540
00:38:07,715 --> 00:38:10,355
Speaker 1: and they are easily understood by the morons who work

541
00:38:10,435 --> 00:38:13,355
Speaker 1: for the cable news networks, but at least brings some

542
00:38:13,555 --> 00:38:16,915
Speaker 1: actual reporting to them just thirty seconds out of every

543
00:38:16,955 --> 00:38:21,835
Speaker 1: twenty four hours. Gates looks like he melted Trump last

544
00:38:21,915 --> 00:38:26,675
Speaker 1: night was preceded by corrupt, racist wrestlers. You people at

545
00:38:26,755 --> 00:38:30,075
Speaker 1: CNN and the others you over there at ethel the

546
00:38:30,155 --> 00:38:34,515
Speaker 1: Frog News. You will go to your graves having never

547
00:38:34,595 --> 00:38:37,835
Speaker 1: actually contributed anything to people's understanding of the world around you.

548
00:38:38,475 --> 00:38:42,715
Speaker 1: You will be satisfied, Dana Bash, during your last twenty

549
00:38:42,795 --> 00:38:45,555
Speaker 1: breaths on this earth, that you managed to get in

550
00:38:45,715 --> 00:38:50,195
Speaker 1: the entire promo copy before the stage manager finished counting

551
00:38:50,275 --> 00:38:54,995
Speaker 1: down from ten. That's it. That's your legacy. That's your legacy,

552
00:38:55,115 --> 00:38:58,315
Speaker 1: Jake Tapper, that's your mark on this world. I mean,

553
00:38:58,395 --> 00:39:01,595
Speaker 1: not even saying Matt Gates, unlike we've ever heard him

554
00:39:01,635 --> 00:39:07,115
Speaker 1: before or seen Dana not even that, just once, maybe

555
00:39:07,515 --> 00:39:12,755
Speaker 1: just once. Of course, saying something, especially on CNN, brings

556
00:39:12,795 --> 00:39:15,475
Speaker 1: its own risks, as evidenced by the fact that we

557
00:39:15,595 --> 00:39:22,795
Speaker 1: have a repeat winner consecutive days. The worst Van Jones

558
00:39:24,155 --> 00:39:27,475
Speaker 1: I have mentioned before his extraordinary ability to be so

559
00:39:27,675 --> 00:39:31,355
Speaker 1: impressed by fascists that he thinks you're supposed to praise them.

560
00:39:31,675 --> 00:39:35,435
Speaker 1: This is when Donald Trump became president, and particularly that

561
00:39:35,515 --> 00:39:37,915
Speaker 1: you're supposed to forget all about the rest of what

562
00:39:38,075 --> 00:39:41,315
Speaker 1: they've done in their lives, as malefactor is in society.

563
00:39:42,075 --> 00:39:47,155
Speaker 1: Wednesday night, Van Jones, former Obama Special advisor for Green Jobs,

564
00:39:47,235 --> 00:39:52,235
Speaker 1: went on CNN and mocked the illness of the President

565
00:39:52,315 --> 00:39:54,755
Speaker 1: of the United States, who was the vice president of

566
00:39:54,795 --> 00:39:57,555
Speaker 1: the United States when he Van Jones had a job

567
00:39:57,635 --> 00:40:02,555
Speaker 1: with the government. Quote, a bullet couldn't stop Trump, A

568
00:40:02,795 --> 00:40:06,995
Speaker 1: virus just stopped Biden. You've got the nominees of this

569
00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:11,435
Speaker 1: party getting their butts kissed. Biden's getting his butt kicked

570
00:40:11,555 --> 00:40:14,635
Speaker 1: by his own party. The Democrats are coming apart, the

571
00:40:14,755 --> 00:40:21,235
Speaker 1: Republicans are coming together, and then of course he injured himself,

572
00:40:21,275 --> 00:40:24,995
Speaker 1: patting himself on the back. What was Van Jones's motive there?

573
00:40:25,515 --> 00:40:28,075
Speaker 1: As often with political pundits at all ends of the

574
00:40:28,475 --> 00:40:32,035
Speaker 1: left right spectrum, the desire to sound cool on TV

575
00:40:32,755 --> 00:40:38,715
Speaker 1: erases all other goals. If you can spontaneously produce parallel

576
00:40:39,035 --> 00:40:44,195
Speaker 1: sentence structure, you keep going seemingly never realizing you're creating

577
00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:47,875
Speaker 1: comparisons that are not valid and are not even replacement

578
00:40:48,035 --> 00:40:53,035
Speaker 1: level intelligent. A bullet couldn't stop Trump. A virus just

579
00:40:53,115 --> 00:40:59,195
Speaker 1: stopped Biden. The virus stopped Biden because Biden chose to

580
00:40:59,515 --> 00:41:05,315
Speaker 1: isolate to protect other human beings. The bullet didn't stop

581
00:41:05,475 --> 00:41:08,955
Speaker 1: Trump because A it may not have been a bullet

582
00:41:08,995 --> 00:41:13,115
Speaker 1: that hit him, but certainly b He couldn't see the

583
00:41:13,195 --> 00:41:16,195
Speaker 1: statistics on a screen next to him that was the

584
00:41:16,355 --> 00:41:19,395
Speaker 1: size of a railroad box car, so he had to

585
00:41:19,515 --> 00:41:25,435
Speaker 1: turn his head. Utter luck, no skill, no quality, no

586
00:41:25,675 --> 00:41:29,955
Speaker 1: action to protect others. One day, I'd like to hear somebody,

587
00:41:30,035 --> 00:41:33,875
Speaker 1: maybe somebody like Van Jones or whoever replaces him, ask

588
00:41:34,115 --> 00:41:39,235
Speaker 1: why Trump hid below the podium, emerged unscathed, maybe grazed

589
00:41:39,275 --> 00:41:44,595
Speaker 1: by a bullet, maybe grazed by a bottle cap, and

590
00:41:44,795 --> 00:41:47,395
Speaker 1: the only thing he did was to scream and rage

591
00:41:49,595 --> 00:41:52,235
Speaker 1: rather than urge the crowd to get down, Get down,

592
00:41:53,035 --> 00:41:56,795
Speaker 1: just for one second in his whole life, to think

593
00:41:56,795 --> 00:42:00,995
Speaker 1: about somebody else. Nobody asked why he didn't do that. Well,

594
00:42:01,035 --> 00:42:02,915
Speaker 1: we know why he didn't do that. He's not actually

595
00:42:02,915 --> 00:42:04,995
Speaker 1: a human being. He didn't care if you get shot

596
00:42:06,755 --> 00:42:09,155
Speaker 1: one day. I'd like to hear somebody, maybe somebody like

597
00:42:09,275 --> 00:42:12,915
Speaker 1: Van Jones or whoever replaces him, ask if now, after

598
00:42:12,995 --> 00:42:15,875
Speaker 1: the assassination attempt, if now is finally the time we

599
00:42:15,915 --> 00:42:19,315
Speaker 1: can talk about gun laws, given that the fascist candidate

600
00:42:19,355 --> 00:42:22,915
Speaker 1: for president almost had his effing head blown off by

601
00:42:22,955 --> 00:42:26,435
Speaker 1: another gun nut from his own political gun nut party.

602
00:42:26,915 --> 00:42:30,875
Speaker 1: But no, Van Jones couldn't do any of that because

603
00:42:30,995 --> 00:42:36,995
Speaker 1: he saw staring him in the face. Parallel sentence construction.

604
00:42:37,675 --> 00:42:41,795
Speaker 1: A bullet couldn't stop Trump. A virus just stopped Biden.

605
00:42:43,035 --> 00:42:47,475
Speaker 1: I'm some great, Oh, I hurt my shoulder patting myself

606
00:42:47,555 --> 00:42:52,475
Speaker 1: on the back. Common decency couldn't stop Biden. Common sense

607
00:42:53,235 --> 00:42:58,595
Speaker 1: just stopped Van Jones. You see how this works, Van CNN.

608
00:42:58,755 --> 00:43:01,915
Speaker 1: You must fire him the nation and you're remaining eight

609
00:43:02,075 --> 00:43:06,115
Speaker 1: hundred and thirty seven viewers will accept no less Jones

610
00:43:06,595 --> 00:43:12,675
Speaker 1: for the second consecutive day, two days. Worse person and

611
00:43:12,875 --> 00:43:25,235
Speaker 1: the world I've thought. I've seen this story playing out

612
00:43:25,315 --> 00:43:29,515
Speaker 1: in real time in this country almost every day for

613
00:43:29,595 --> 00:43:35,355
Speaker 1: about seven years. Sit back and relax, if relax is

614
00:43:35,395 --> 00:43:39,635
Speaker 1: the right word for it. For the Greatest Man in

615
00:43:39,755 --> 00:43:45,955
Speaker 1: the World by James Thurber. Looking back on it now

616
00:43:46,075 --> 00:43:48,875
Speaker 1: from the vantage point of nineteen forty one can only

617
00:43:48,995 --> 00:43:51,275
Speaker 1: marvel that it had not happened long before it did.

618
00:43:51,875 --> 00:43:55,235
Speaker 1: The United States of America had been ever since Kitty

619
00:43:55,275 --> 00:44:00,195
Speaker 1: Hawk blindly constructing the elaborate petard by which, sooner or

620
00:44:00,315 --> 00:44:05,355
Speaker 1: later it must be hoist will. It was inevitable that

621
00:44:05,475 --> 00:44:08,035
Speaker 1: someday there would come, roaring out of the skies a

622
00:44:08,155 --> 00:44:12,795
Speaker 1: national hero of insufficient intelligence, background, and character, successfully to

623
00:44:12,955 --> 00:44:16,595
Speaker 1: endure the mounting orgies of glory prepared for aviators who

624
00:44:16,715 --> 00:44:20,515
Speaker 1: stayed up for a long time or flew a great distance.

625
00:44:21,795 --> 00:44:26,395
Speaker 1: Both Lindbergh and Byrd, fortunately for national decorum and international amity,

626
00:44:26,835 --> 00:44:31,035
Speaker 1: had been gentlemen, So had our other famous aviators. They

627
00:44:31,115 --> 00:44:34,915
Speaker 1: wore their laurels, gracefully, withstood the awful weather of publicity,

628
00:44:35,155 --> 00:44:39,475
Speaker 1: married excellent women, usually fine family and quietly retired to

629
00:44:39,595 --> 00:44:43,275
Speaker 1: private life and the enjoyment of their varying fortunes. No

630
00:44:43,795 --> 00:44:48,155
Speaker 1: untoward incidents on a worldwide scale marred the perfection of

631
00:44:48,195 --> 00:44:52,515
Speaker 1: their conduct on the perilous heights of fame. The exception

632
00:44:52,755 --> 00:44:57,995
Speaker 1: to the rule was, however, bound to occur, and it

633
00:44:58,115 --> 00:45:03,515
Speaker 1: did in July nineteen thirty seven, when Jack Pal Smirch

634
00:45:04,155 --> 00:45:08,355
Speaker 1: erstwhile mechanics helper in a small garage in Westfield, Iowa,

635
00:45:08,795 --> 00:45:14,355
Speaker 1: flew a second hand, single motored Breasthabn Dragonfly three monoplane

636
00:45:14,555 --> 00:45:21,795
Speaker 1: all the way around the world without stopping. Never before

637
00:45:21,875 --> 00:45:23,915
Speaker 1: in the history of aviation had such a flight as

638
00:45:23,955 --> 00:45:27,515
Speaker 1: Smirches even been dreamed of. No one had even taken

639
00:45:27,675 --> 00:45:31,755
Speaker 1: seriously the weird floating auxiliary gas tanks invention of the

640
00:45:31,835 --> 00:45:35,715
Speaker 1: mad New Hampshire professor of astronomy, doctor Charles Lewis, Gresham,

641
00:45:36,075 --> 00:45:40,435
Speaker 1: upon which Smirch placed full reliance. When the garage worker,

642
00:45:40,795 --> 00:45:45,235
Speaker 1: a slightly built, surly unprepossessing young man of twenty two,

643
00:45:45,595 --> 00:45:48,875
Speaker 1: appeared at Roosevelt Field early in July nineteen thirty seven,

644
00:45:49,475 --> 00:45:54,035
Speaker 1: slowly chewing a great quid of scrap, tobacco and announced,

645
00:45:54,675 --> 00:45:59,155
Speaker 1: nobody ain't seen no flying yet. The newspapers touched briefly

646
00:45:59,315 --> 00:46:03,715
Speaker 1: and satirically upon his projected twenty five thousand mile flight.

647
00:46:04,675 --> 00:46:08,995
Speaker 1: Aeronautical and automotive experts dismissed the idea, curtly, implying that

648
00:46:09,075 --> 00:46:13,035
Speaker 1: it was a hoax, the publicity stunt. The rusty, battered

649
00:46:13,395 --> 00:46:20,675
Speaker 1: second hand plane wouldn't go, The Gresham auxiliary tanks wouldn't work.

650
00:46:21,675 --> 00:46:28,315
Speaker 1: It was simply a cheap joke. Smirch. However, after calling

651
00:46:28,395 --> 00:46:30,795
Speaker 1: on a girl in Brooklyn who worked in the flap

652
00:46:30,955 --> 00:46:34,155
Speaker 1: folding department of a large paper box factory, a girl

653
00:46:34,475 --> 00:46:39,515
Speaker 1: whom he later described as his sweet Petuti climbed nonchalantly

654
00:46:39,595 --> 00:46:43,395
Speaker 1: into his ridiculous plane at dawn the memorable seventh of

655
00:46:43,515 --> 00:46:47,675
Speaker 1: July nineteen thirty seven, spit a curve of tobacco juice

656
00:46:47,675 --> 00:46:50,635
Speaker 1: into the still air, and took off, carrying with him

657
00:46:50,995 --> 00:46:55,515
Speaker 1: only a gallon of bootleg gin and six pounds of salami.

658
00:46:57,835 --> 00:47:00,435
Speaker 1: When the garage boy thundered out over the ocean, the

659
00:47:00,475 --> 00:47:03,715
Speaker 1: papers were forced to record in all seriousness that a mad,

660
00:47:04,155 --> 00:47:08,795
Speaker 1: unknown young man his name was variously misspelled, had actually

661
00:47:09,035 --> 00:47:12,235
Speaker 1: set out upon a preposterous attempt to span the world

662
00:47:12,315 --> 00:47:15,875
Speaker 1: in a rickety one engine contraption, trusting to the long

663
00:47:15,995 --> 00:47:21,275
Speaker 1: distance refueling device of a crazy schoolmaster. When nine days later,

664
00:47:21,515 --> 00:47:24,955
Speaker 1: without having stopped once, the tiny plane appeared above San

665
00:47:25,035 --> 00:47:28,515
Speaker 1: Francisco Bay, headed for New York, spluttering and choking, to

666
00:47:28,555 --> 00:47:32,755
Speaker 1: be sure, but still magnificently and miraculously aloft the headlines,

667
00:47:32,995 --> 00:47:36,395
Speaker 1: which long since had crowded everything else off the front page.

668
00:47:36,595 --> 00:47:39,075
Speaker 1: Even the shooting of the governor of Illinois by the

669
00:47:39,195 --> 00:47:44,275
Speaker 1: Valetti Gang swelled to unprecedented size, and the news stories

670
00:47:44,315 --> 00:47:49,395
Speaker 1: began to run to twenty five and thirty columns. It

671
00:47:49,675 --> 00:47:54,715
Speaker 1: was noticeable, however, that the accounts of the epoch making

672
00:47:54,915 --> 00:48:00,755
Speaker 1: flight touched rather lightly upon the aviator himself. This was

673
00:48:00,835 --> 00:48:03,315
Speaker 1: not because the facts about the hero as a man

674
00:48:03,395 --> 00:48:09,595
Speaker 1: were too meager, but because they were too complete. Reporters

675
00:48:09,715 --> 00:48:12,315
Speaker 1: who had been rushed out to Iowa when Smirch's plane

676
00:48:12,395 --> 00:48:15,035
Speaker 1: was first sighted over the little French coast town of

677
00:48:15,275 --> 00:48:17,715
Speaker 1: ser Lee Lemaire to dig up the story of the

678
00:48:17,755 --> 00:48:21,435
Speaker 1: great man's life had promptly discovered that the story of

679
00:48:21,515 --> 00:48:25,275
Speaker 1: his life could not be printed. His mother, a sullen

680
00:48:25,475 --> 00:48:27,915
Speaker 1: short order cook and a shack restaurant on the edge

681
00:48:27,915 --> 00:48:31,635
Speaker 1: of a tourist's camping ground near Westfield, met all inquiries

682
00:48:31,675 --> 00:48:34,035
Speaker 1: as to her son, with an angry and the hell

683
00:48:34,115 --> 00:48:37,835
Speaker 1: with him a help, he drowns. His father appeared to

684
00:48:37,915 --> 00:48:42,235
Speaker 1: be in jail somewhere for stealing spotlights and lap robes

685
00:48:42,315 --> 00:48:46,635
Speaker 1: from tourists automobiles. His young brother, a weak minded lad,

686
00:48:47,195 --> 00:48:50,275
Speaker 1: had but recently escaped from the Preston, Iowa Reformatory, and

687
00:48:50,395 --> 00:48:53,195
Speaker 1: was already wanted in several Western towns for the theft

688
00:48:53,275 --> 00:48:58,075
Speaker 1: of money order blanks from post offices. These alarming discoveries

689
00:48:58,355 --> 00:49:01,235
Speaker 1: were still piling up at the very time that pal Smirch,

690
00:49:01,595 --> 00:49:06,275
Speaker 1: the greatest hero of the twentieth century, dead for sleep,

691
00:49:06,555 --> 00:49:10,315
Speaker 1: half starved, was piloting his crazy junk heap high above

692
00:49:10,355 --> 00:49:12,755
Speaker 1: the region in which the lamentable story of his private

693
00:49:12,835 --> 00:49:15,715
Speaker 1: life was being unearthed, headed for New York and a

694
00:49:15,795 --> 00:49:19,355
Speaker 1: greater glory than any man of his time had ever known.

695
00:49:22,395 --> 00:49:26,355
Speaker 1: The necessity for printing some account in the papers of

696
00:49:26,435 --> 00:49:29,235
Speaker 1: the young man's career and personality had led to a

697
00:49:29,395 --> 00:49:32,955
Speaker 1: remarkable predicament. It was, of course, impossible to reveal the

698
00:49:33,075 --> 00:49:37,075
Speaker 1: facts for a tremendous popular feeling in favor of the

699
00:49:37,195 --> 00:49:40,115
Speaker 1: young hero had sprung up like a grass fire when

700
00:49:40,155 --> 00:49:42,835
Speaker 1: he was halfway across Europe on his flight around the globe.

701
00:49:43,595 --> 00:49:47,995
Speaker 1: He was therefore described as a modest, chap taciturn blonde,

702
00:49:48,635 --> 00:49:53,475
Speaker 1: popular with his friends, popular with girls. The only available

703
00:49:53,555 --> 00:49:56,395
Speaker 1: snapshot of Smirch, taken at the wheel of a phony

704
00:49:56,435 --> 00:49:59,475
Speaker 1: automobile in a cheap photo studio at an amusement park,

705
00:49:59,835 --> 00:50:03,395
Speaker 1: was touched up so that the little vulgarian looked quite handsome.

706
00:50:05,075 --> 00:50:09,675
Speaker 1: Twisted leer was smoothed into a pleasant smile. The truth

707
00:50:09,995 --> 00:50:13,315
Speaker 1: was in this way kept from the youth's ecstatic compatriots.

708
00:50:13,715 --> 00:50:16,875
Speaker 1: They did not dream that the Smirch family was despised

709
00:50:17,475 --> 00:50:20,555
Speaker 1: and feared by its neighbors in the obscure Iowa town,

710
00:50:20,875 --> 00:50:25,275
Speaker 1: nor that the hero himself, because of numerous unsavory exploits,

711
00:50:25,475 --> 00:50:27,955
Speaker 1: had come to be regarded in Westfield as a nuisance

712
00:50:28,475 --> 00:50:33,595
Speaker 1: and a menace. Pal's Smirch had, the reporters discovered, once

713
00:50:33,675 --> 00:50:37,475
Speaker 1: knife the principle of his high school, not mortally, to

714
00:50:37,515 --> 00:50:40,755
Speaker 1: be sure, but he had knifed him, and on another occasion,

715
00:50:41,075 --> 00:50:44,915
Speaker 1: surprised in the act of an stealing altar cloth from

716
00:50:44,955 --> 00:50:48,075
Speaker 1: a church, he had bashed the sexton over the head

717
00:50:48,155 --> 00:50:52,235
Speaker 1: with a pot of Easter lilies. For each of these offenses,

718
00:50:53,035 --> 00:50:58,315
Speaker 1: he had served a sentence in the reformatory. Inwardly, the authorities,

719
00:50:58,355 --> 00:51:00,715
Speaker 1: both in New York and in Washington, prayed that an

720
00:51:00,795 --> 00:51:06,395
Speaker 1: understanding providence might, however awful, such a thing seemed, bring

721
00:51:06,595 --> 00:51:10,275
Speaker 1: disaster to the rusty, battered plane and its illustrious pilot,

722
00:51:10,395 --> 00:51:13,835
Speaker 1: whose unheard of flight had aroused the civilized world to

723
00:51:13,955 --> 00:51:18,635
Speaker 1: hosannas of hysterical praise. The authorities were convinced that the

724
00:51:18,835 --> 00:51:22,275
Speaker 1: character of the renowned aviator was such that the limelight

725
00:51:22,315 --> 00:51:25,635
Speaker 1: of adulation was bound to reveal him to all the

726
00:51:25,755 --> 00:51:31,275
Speaker 1: world as a congenital hooligan, mentally and morally unequipped to

727
00:51:31,435 --> 00:51:36,115
Speaker 1: cope with his own prodigious fame. I trust, said the

728
00:51:36,155 --> 00:51:38,875
Speaker 1: Secretary of State, at one of the many secret cabinet

729
00:51:38,915 --> 00:51:43,315
Speaker 1: meetings called to consider the national dilemma. I trust that

730
00:51:43,475 --> 00:51:48,355
Speaker 1: his mother's prayer will be answered, by which he referred

731
00:51:48,395 --> 00:51:51,755
Speaker 1: to missus Emma's smirch's wish that her son might be drowned.

732
00:51:53,395 --> 00:51:56,435
Speaker 1: It was, however, too late for that Spurch had leaped

733
00:51:56,435 --> 00:51:58,475
Speaker 1: the Atlantic and then the Pacific as if they were

734
00:51:58,635 --> 00:52:01,595
Speaker 1: mill ponds. At three minutes after two o'clock on the

735
00:52:01,635 --> 00:52:06,035
Speaker 1: afternoon of July seventeenth, nineteen thirty seven, j Boy brought

736
00:52:06,075 --> 00:52:09,395
Speaker 1: his idiotic plane into Roosevelt Field for a perfect three

737
00:52:09,475 --> 00:52:14,315
Speaker 1: point landing. It had, of course been out of the

738
00:52:14,475 --> 00:52:17,595
Speaker 1: question to arrange a modest little reception for the greatest

739
00:52:17,715 --> 00:52:20,635
Speaker 1: flier in the history of the world. He was received

740
00:52:20,675 --> 00:52:23,755
Speaker 1: at Roosevelt Field with such elaborate and pretentious ceremonies as

741
00:52:23,915 --> 00:52:29,235
Speaker 1: rocked the world. Fortunately, however, the warren and spent hero

742
00:52:29,515 --> 00:52:33,235
Speaker 1: promptly swooned, had to be removed bodily from his plane,

743
00:52:33,275 --> 00:52:35,595
Speaker 1: and was spirited from the field without having opened his

744
00:52:35,715 --> 00:52:39,515
Speaker 1: mouth once. Thus he did not jeopardize the dignity of

745
00:52:39,595 --> 00:52:43,875
Speaker 1: his first reception, a reception illumined by the presence of

746
00:52:43,915 --> 00:52:46,795
Speaker 1: the Secretaries of War and the Navy, Mayor Michael J.

747
00:52:46,955 --> 00:52:51,035
Speaker 1: Moriarty of New York, the Premier of Canada, Governors Fanamine Groves,

748
00:52:51,115 --> 00:52:54,515
Speaker 1: mcpheey and Critchfield, and a brilliant array of European diplomats.

749
00:52:55,555 --> 00:52:58,635
Speaker 1: Smirch did not, in fact come too in time to

750
00:52:58,715 --> 00:53:01,635
Speaker 1: take part in the gigantic hullabaloo arranged at City Hall

751
00:53:01,755 --> 00:53:04,555
Speaker 1: for the next day he was rushed to a secluded

752
00:53:04,795 --> 00:53:08,835
Speaker 1: nursing home and confined in bed. It was nine days

753
00:53:08,835 --> 00:53:10,835
Speaker 1: before he was able to get up, or, to be

754
00:53:11,115 --> 00:53:16,635
Speaker 1: more exact, before he was permitted to get up. Meanwhile,

755
00:53:16,675 --> 00:53:19,355
Speaker 1: the greatest minds in the country, in solemn assembly, had

756
00:53:19,435 --> 00:53:23,675
Speaker 1: arranged a secret conference of city, state and government officials,

757
00:53:23,675 --> 00:53:26,955
Speaker 1: which Smirch was to attend for the purpose of being

758
00:53:27,035 --> 00:53:33,795
Speaker 1: instructed in the ethics and behavior of heroism. On the

759
00:53:33,915 --> 00:53:36,235
Speaker 1: day that the little mechanic was finally allowed to get

760
00:53:36,275 --> 00:53:38,315
Speaker 1: up in dress and for the first time in two weeks,

761
00:53:38,315 --> 00:53:41,355
Speaker 1: took a great chew of tomacco, he was permitted to receive.

762
00:53:41,555 --> 00:53:44,915
Speaker 1: The newspaper men this by way of testing him out.

763
00:53:46,235 --> 00:53:50,155
Speaker 1: Smirch did not wait for questions. Use guys, he said,

764
00:53:50,875 --> 00:53:54,475
Speaker 1: and the Times Man winced. Use guys can tell the

765
00:53:54,555 --> 00:53:57,435
Speaker 1: cock eyed world that I put it over on Lindberg.

766
00:53:57,555 --> 00:54:03,155
Speaker 1: See yeah, man, an assaid, I'm two frogs. The two

767
00:54:03,515 --> 00:54:08,355
Speaker 1: frogs was a reference to a pair of gallant French flyers, who,

768
00:54:08,435 --> 00:54:10,995
Speaker 1: in attempting to flight only halfway round the world, had

769
00:54:11,035 --> 00:54:14,995
Speaker 1: two weeks before unhappily been lost at sea. The Times

770
00:54:15,115 --> 00:54:17,355
Speaker 1: Man was bold enough at this point to sketch out

771
00:54:17,395 --> 00:54:21,035
Speaker 1: for Smirch the accepted formula for interviews in cases of

772
00:54:21,115 --> 00:54:24,195
Speaker 1: this kind. He explained that there should be no arrogant

773
00:54:24,315 --> 00:54:28,915
Speaker 1: statements belittling the achievements of other heroes, particularly heroes of

774
00:54:29,075 --> 00:54:33,555
Speaker 1: foreign nations. A the hell with that, said Smirch, I

775
00:54:33,675 --> 00:54:36,875
Speaker 1: did it. See I did it, and I'm talking about it,

776
00:54:38,395 --> 00:54:42,395
Speaker 1: and he did talk about it. None of this extraordinary

777
00:54:42,435 --> 00:54:46,715
Speaker 1: interview was, of course printed. On the contrary, the newspapers,

778
00:54:46,795 --> 00:54:49,955
Speaker 1: already under the disciplined direction of a secret directorate created

779
00:54:49,995 --> 00:54:53,555
Speaker 1: for the occasion and composed of statesmen and editors, gave

780
00:54:53,635 --> 00:54:57,235
Speaker 1: out to a panting and restless world that Jackie, as

781
00:54:57,275 --> 00:55:00,875
Speaker 1: he had been arbitrarily nicknamed, would consent to say only

782
00:55:00,955 --> 00:55:04,115
Speaker 1: that he was very happy, and that anyone could have

783
00:55:04,195 --> 00:55:07,595
Speaker 1: done what he did. My achievement has been I fear

784
00:55:08,035 --> 00:55:11,955
Speaker 1: slightly exaggerated. The times Man's article had him protest with

785
00:55:12,035 --> 00:55:16,355
Speaker 1: a modest smile. These newspaper stories were kept from the hero,

786
00:55:16,915 --> 00:55:19,995
Speaker 1: a restriction which did not serve to abate the rising

787
00:55:20,195 --> 00:55:25,595
Speaker 1: malevolence of his temper. The situation was indeed extremely grave

788
00:55:26,315 --> 00:55:31,035
Speaker 1: for Palell' Smirch was, as he kept insisting, raring to go.

789
00:55:32,635 --> 00:55:34,595
Speaker 1: He could not much longer be kept from a nation

790
00:55:34,715 --> 00:55:38,355
Speaker 1: clamorous to lionize him. It was the most desperate crisis

791
00:55:38,435 --> 00:55:41,155
Speaker 1: the United States of America had faced since the sinking

792
00:55:41,315 --> 00:55:47,755
Speaker 1: of Belusitania. On the afternoon of the twenty seventh of July,

793
00:55:48,035 --> 00:55:50,555
Speaker 1: Smirch was spirited away to a conference room in which

794
00:55:50,595 --> 00:55:55,555
Speaker 1: were gathered mayors, governors, government officials, behaviorist, psychologists, and editors.

795
00:55:56,235 --> 00:55:59,875
Speaker 1: He gave them each a limp moist paw, and a brief,

796
00:56:00,595 --> 00:56:06,235
Speaker 1: unlovely grin hi, he said. When Smirch was seated, the

797
00:56:06,275 --> 00:56:09,635
Speaker 1: Mayor of New York arose, and, with obvious pessimism, attempted

798
00:56:09,675 --> 00:56:12,195
Speaker 1: to explain what he must say and how he must

799
00:56:12,315 --> 00:56:15,835
Speaker 1: act when presented to the world, ending his talk with

800
00:56:15,915 --> 00:56:19,155
Speaker 1: a high tribute to the hero's courage and integrity. The

801
00:56:19,235 --> 00:56:22,035
Speaker 1: Mayor was followed by Governor Fannerman of New York, who,

802
00:56:22,075 --> 00:56:27,035
Speaker 1: after a touching declaration of faith, introduced Cameron Spottiswood, second

803
00:56:27,115 --> 00:56:30,195
Speaker 1: Secretary of the American Embassy in Paris, the gentleman selected

804
00:56:30,275 --> 00:56:35,915
Speaker 1: to coach Smirch in the amenities of public ceremonies. Sitting

805
00:56:35,995 --> 00:56:38,755
Speaker 1: in a chair with a soiled yellow tie in his

806
00:56:38,915 --> 00:56:42,435
Speaker 1: hand and his shirt open at the throat unshaved, smoking

807
00:56:42,515 --> 00:56:46,515
Speaker 1: a rolled cigarette. Jack Smirch listened with a leer on

808
00:56:46,635 --> 00:56:50,675
Speaker 1: his lips. I get you, I get you, he cut

809
00:56:50,755 --> 00:56:54,155
Speaker 1: in nastily. You want me to act like a softie. Huh?

810
00:56:54,795 --> 00:56:58,195
Speaker 1: You want me to act like that bemny memty baby

811
00:56:58,355 --> 00:57:03,035
Speaker 1: face lind big huh, Well nuts to that. See. Everyone

812
00:57:03,155 --> 00:57:06,155
Speaker 1: took in his breath sharply. It was a sigh and

813
00:57:06,315 --> 00:57:12,355
Speaker 1: a hiss. Mister Lindbergh began a United States Senator purple

814
00:57:12,435 --> 00:57:16,715
Speaker 1: with rage, and mister bird Smirch, who was paring his

815
00:57:16,915 --> 00:57:21,035
Speaker 1: nails with a jackknife, cut in again. Boyd, he exclaimed, Oh,

816
00:57:21,115 --> 00:57:24,875
Speaker 1: for God's sake, that big somebody shut off the blasphemies

817
00:57:24,995 --> 00:57:27,835
Speaker 1: with a sharp word. A newcomer had entered the word

818
00:57:28,035 --> 00:57:30,995
Speaker 1: the room. Everyone stood up, except Smirch, who was still

819
00:57:31,035 --> 00:57:34,195
Speaker 1: busy with his nails, and he did not even glance up.

820
00:57:34,315 --> 00:57:38,195
Speaker 1: Mister Smirch, said someone sternly. The President of the United States.

821
00:57:39,435 --> 00:57:41,275
Speaker 1: It had been thought that the presence of the Chief

822
00:57:41,315 --> 00:57:44,235
Speaker 1: Executive might have a chastening effect on the young hero,

823
00:57:44,755 --> 00:57:47,595
Speaker 1: and the former had been, thanks to the remarkable cooperation

824
00:57:47,715 --> 00:57:50,995
Speaker 1: of the press, secretly brought to the obscure conference room

825
00:57:52,395 --> 00:58:02,035
Speaker 1: a great, painful silence fell. Smirch looked up, waved a

826
00:58:02,075 --> 00:58:09,235
Speaker 1: hand at the president, he asked, and began rolling a

827
00:58:09,355 --> 00:58:17,675
Speaker 1: fresh cigarette. The silence deepened. Someone coughed in a strained way.

828
00:58:19,355 --> 00:58:24,715
Speaker 1: Jesuits hot, ain't it, said Smirch. He loosened two more

829
00:58:24,875 --> 00:58:28,475
Speaker 1: shirt buttons, revealing a hairy chest and the tattooed word

830
00:58:28,995 --> 00:58:34,435
Speaker 1: sadie enclosed in a stenciled heart. The great and important

831
00:58:34,555 --> 00:58:37,555
Speaker 1: men in the room, faced by the most serious crisis

832
00:58:37,595 --> 00:58:42,795
Speaker 1: in American history, exchanged worried frowns. Nobody seemed to know

833
00:58:42,955 --> 00:58:47,355
Speaker 1: how to proceed. Come on, come on, said Smirch. Let's

834
00:58:47,395 --> 00:58:49,675
Speaker 1: get the hell out of here. When do I start

835
00:58:49,715 --> 00:58:53,555
Speaker 1: cutting in on the podies? Huh? And when is there

836
00:58:53,675 --> 00:58:57,315
Speaker 1: gonna be this in it? He rubbed a thumb and

837
00:58:57,435 --> 00:59:05,235
Speaker 1: forefinger together meaningly. Money, exclaimed a state senator, shocked pale, Yeah, money,

838
00:59:05,675 --> 00:59:08,515
Speaker 1: said pal, flipping his cigarette out of the window. And

839
00:59:08,795 --> 00:59:13,795
Speaker 1: big money. He began rolling a fresh cigarette. Big money,

840
00:59:14,555 --> 00:59:18,555
Speaker 1: he repeated, Frowning over the rice paper. He tilted back

841
00:59:18,635 --> 00:59:22,155
Speaker 1: in his chair and leered at each gentleman separately. The

842
00:59:22,355 --> 00:59:25,995
Speaker 1: leer of an animal that knows its power, the leer

843
00:59:26,235 --> 00:59:30,595
Speaker 1: of a leopard loose in a bird and dog shop. Ah,

844
00:59:30,715 --> 00:59:34,315
Speaker 1: for God's sake, let's get someplace where it's cool, he said.

845
00:59:34,915 --> 00:59:39,315
Speaker 1: I've been cooped up plenty for three weeks. Smirch stood

846
00:59:39,355 --> 00:59:41,995
Speaker 1: up and walked over to an open window, where he

847
00:59:42,035 --> 00:59:46,675
Speaker 1: stood staring down into the street nine floors below. The

848
00:59:46,755 --> 00:59:50,355
Speaker 1: faint shouting of newsboys floated up to him. He made

849
00:59:50,395 --> 00:59:55,075
Speaker 1: out his name, hot Dog, he cried, grinning ecstatic. He

850
00:59:55,315 --> 01:00:00,075
Speaker 1: leaned out over the sill. You tell um babies, he

851
01:00:00,195 --> 01:00:05,115
Speaker 1: shouted down, Hot Diggity Dog. In the tense little knot

852
01:00:05,155 --> 01:00:09,075
Speaker 1: of men standing behind him, a quick, mad impulse flared up.

853
01:00:09,435 --> 01:00:13,475
Speaker 1: An unspoken word of appeal of command seemed to ring

854
01:00:13,675 --> 01:00:16,995
Speaker 1: through the room, yet it was deadly silent. Charles K.

855
01:00:17,435 --> 01:00:19,915
Speaker 1: L Brand, secretary to the Mayor of New York City,

856
01:00:20,075 --> 01:00:23,595
Speaker 1: happened to be standing nearest Smirch. He looked inquiringly at

857
01:00:23,635 --> 01:00:27,315
Speaker 1: the President of the United States. The President, pale grim,

858
01:00:28,195 --> 01:00:32,395
Speaker 1: nodded shortly. Brand, a tall, powerfully built man wants to

859
01:00:32,475 --> 01:00:36,875
Speaker 1: tackle at Rutgers University, stepped forward, seized the greatest man

860
01:00:36,995 --> 01:00:38,875
Speaker 1: in the world by his left shoulder and the seat

861
01:00:38,915 --> 01:00:42,555
Speaker 1: of his pants, and pushed him out the window. My god,

862
01:00:42,635 --> 01:00:45,715
Speaker 1: he's fallen out the window, cried a quick witted editor.

863
01:00:45,835 --> 01:00:48,035
Speaker 1: Get me out of here, cried the president. Several men

864
01:00:48,115 --> 01:00:50,195
Speaker 1: sprang to his side, and he was hurriedly escorted out

865
01:00:50,195 --> 01:00:52,035
Speaker 1: of a door toward a side entrance to the building.

866
01:00:52,315 --> 01:00:54,835
Speaker 1: The editor of the Associated Press took charge, Being used

867
01:00:54,835 --> 01:00:57,555
Speaker 1: to such things crisply, he ordered certain men to leave,

868
01:00:57,835 --> 01:01:00,675
Speaker 1: others to stay quickly. He outlined a story which all

869
01:01:00,755 --> 01:01:03,115
Speaker 1: the papers were to agree on, sent two men to

870
01:01:03,155 --> 01:01:05,635
Speaker 1: the street to handle that end of the track, commanded

871
01:01:05,675 --> 01:01:08,435
Speaker 1: a senator to sob and two congressmen to go to

872
01:01:08,515 --> 01:01:13,435
Speaker 1: pieces nervously. In a word, he skillfully set the stage

873
01:01:13,475 --> 01:01:16,595
Speaker 1: for the gigantic task that was to follow, the task

874
01:01:17,315 --> 01:01:20,635
Speaker 1: of breaking to a grief stricken world the sad story

875
01:01:20,715 --> 01:01:25,555
Speaker 1: of the untimely accidental death of its most illustrious and

876
01:01:25,675 --> 01:01:32,995
Speaker 1: spectacular figure. The funeral was, as you know, the most elaborate,

877
01:01:33,355 --> 01:01:37,595
Speaker 1: the finest, the solemnest, and the saddest ever held in

878
01:01:37,635 --> 01:01:41,915
Speaker 1: the United States of America. The monument in Arlington Cemetery,

879
01:01:42,275 --> 01:01:45,595
Speaker 1: with its clean white shaft of marble and the simple

880
01:01:45,675 --> 01:01:50,195
Speaker 1: device of a tiny plane carved on its base, is

881
01:01:50,275 --> 01:01:56,515
Speaker 1: a place for pilgrims in deep reverence to visit. The

882
01:01:56,675 --> 01:02:00,555
Speaker 1: nations of the world paid lofty tributes to little Jackie Smirch,

883
01:02:01,195 --> 01:02:06,675
Speaker 1: America's greatest hero give an hour. There were two minutes

884
01:02:06,715 --> 01:02:10,395
Speaker 1: of silence throughout the nation. Even the inhabitants of the small,

885
01:02:10,555 --> 01:02:16,235
Speaker 1: bewildered town of Westfield, Iowa, observed this touching ceremony. Agents

886
01:02:16,315 --> 01:02:19,555
Speaker 1: of the Department of Justice sough to that one of

887
01:02:19,635 --> 01:02:23,275
Speaker 1: them was especially assigned to stand grimly in the doorway

888
01:02:23,315 --> 01:02:26,275
Speaker 1: of a little shack restaurant on the edge of the

889
01:02:26,395 --> 01:02:31,195
Speaker 1: tourist's camping ground just outside the town. There, under his

890
01:02:31,435 --> 01:02:36,075
Speaker 1: stern scrutiny, missus Emma Smirch bowed her head over two

891
01:02:36,195 --> 01:02:39,995
Speaker 1: Hamburger steaks sizzling on her grill, bowed her head and

892
01:02:40,195 --> 01:02:44,515
Speaker 1: turned away so that the secret serviceman could not see

893
01:02:44,835 --> 01:02:53,515
Speaker 1: the twisted, strangely familiar leer on her lips. The Greatest

894
01:02:53,595 --> 01:03:11,395
Speaker 1: Man in the World by James Thurber. Can't imagine who

895
01:03:11,475 --> 01:03:15,515
Speaker 1: that story could have been about. Never ceases to amaze me.

896
01:03:16,555 --> 01:03:22,795
Speaker 1: Nineteen thirty one. I've done all the damage I can

897
01:03:22,875 --> 01:03:25,475
Speaker 1: do here. Thank you for listening. Countdown Musical directors Brian

898
01:03:25,555 --> 01:03:28,875
Speaker 1: Ray and John Phillip, Shaneil arranged, produced, and performed most

899
01:03:28,915 --> 01:03:31,555
Speaker 1: of our music. Mister Ray was on the guitars, bass,

900
01:03:31,635 --> 01:03:35,155
Speaker 1: and drums, and mister Shanelle handled orchestration and keyboards. It

901
01:03:35,275 --> 01:03:38,235
Speaker 1: was produced by Tko Brothers. Other music, including some of

902
01:03:38,235 --> 01:03:41,355
Speaker 1: the Beethoven compositions, arranged and performed by the group No

903
01:03:41,515 --> 01:03:45,755
Speaker 1: Horns Allowed. Sports music is the Olberman theme from ESPN two,

904
01:03:46,195 --> 01:03:49,795
Speaker 1: written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN Inc. Our

905
01:03:49,915 --> 01:03:52,995
Speaker 1: satirical and pithy musical comments are by Nancy Fauss, the

906
01:03:53,035 --> 01:03:56,835
Speaker 1: best baseball stadium organist ever. The Thurber was by Thurber.

907
01:03:57,395 --> 01:04:00,435
Speaker 1: My announcer today is my crazy friend Tony Kornheiser, and

908
01:04:00,555 --> 01:04:04,355
Speaker 1: everything else was pretty much my fault. That's countdown for this,

909
01:04:04,435 --> 01:04:07,635
Speaker 1: the one and tenth day until the twenty twenty fourth

910
01:04:07,675 --> 01:04:12,595
Speaker 1: presidential election and the two and eighty ninth day since

911
01:04:12,835 --> 01:04:17,035
Speaker 1: convicted felon Crazy J. Trump's first attempt at coup against

912
01:04:17,075 --> 01:04:21,115
Speaker 1: the democratically elected government of the United States. Use the

913
01:04:21,195 --> 01:04:25,675
Speaker 1: September eighteenth sentencing hearing. Use the mental health system. You've

914
01:04:25,715 --> 01:04:29,835
Speaker 1: got it. President Biden used presidential immunity to stop him

915
01:04:29,875 --> 01:04:34,395
Speaker 1: from doing it again. While we still can, while you

916
01:04:35,315 --> 01:04:41,755
Speaker 1: still can, mister President and Republicans please stop shooting at Trump.

917
01:04:42,595 --> 01:04:46,275
Speaker 1: The next scheduled countdown is Tuesday. Bulletins as the news requires.

918
01:04:47,515 --> 01:04:49,355
Speaker 1: Why do I think there's going to be a bulletin

919
01:04:49,875 --> 01:04:52,995
Speaker 1: till then? I'm Keith Olverman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night,

920
01:04:53,595 --> 01:05:08,155
Speaker 1: and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production

921
01:05:08,395 --> 01:05:13,675
Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,

922
01:05:13,795 --> 01:05:17,155
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.