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Speaker 1: Hushkin, you do hear the bombings all the time when

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Speaker 1: you're living in the war zone.

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Speaker 2: So me and my.

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Speaker 1: Older sister were like, we need to go because it's

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Speaker 1: only getting worse. We knew that we're not safe. We

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Speaker 1: knew that every day you get out of the apartment

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Speaker 1: is a risk and you might never see your family again.

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Speaker 3: When Olympic swimmer You Sir Mardini was just a teenager,

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Speaker 3: she and her sister fled their homeland of Syria. They

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Speaker 3: went on a dangerous journey across Europe before finally seeking

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Speaker 3: asylum in Germany.

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Speaker 1: I was in a refugee camp when I arrived for

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Speaker 1: a few months, and me and my sister and everyone

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Speaker 1: else got to Germany. We had so much paperwork to do.

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Speaker 1: We sometimes would wait in line from twelve am until

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Speaker 1: eight am the next day to have just a number.

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Speaker 1: That's how crazy it was at that point, and for me,

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Speaker 1: my escape was sports.

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Speaker 3: On today's episode, a Syrian refugee fights for her dreams.

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Speaker 3: I'm maya Shunker and this is a slight change of plans,

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Speaker 3: a show about who we are and who we become

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Speaker 3: in the face of a big change. As a teenager

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Speaker 3: used her care at about two things, hanging out with

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Speaker 3: her friends and swim practice. She was a star on

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Speaker 3: the Syrian national swim team and had big dreams of

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Speaker 3: one day representing her country at the Olympics. But as

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Speaker 3: the Syrian Civil War intensified, even everyday activities like walking

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Speaker 3: to school or a friend's house became dangerous.

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Speaker 1: I remember one time I was thirteen years old. I

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Speaker 1: was walking to see my friends and there was like

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Speaker 1: a bomb attack, literally like two hundred meters behind me.

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Speaker 1: I look back, I go to the pharmacy. I stand

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Speaker 1: there for a few minutes and I continue afterwards. That's

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Speaker 1: how normal it became. And I wouldn't tell my mom

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Speaker 1: because then I cannot go out. I had a friend

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Speaker 1: where she did lose her life while being in her bedroom.

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Speaker 1: I heard so many stories about people being in their

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Speaker 1: houses and then missile attacks or bomb attacks, and it

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Speaker 1: was like, I am risking my life being home or outside.

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Speaker 1: So I would rather, you know, try to rebel in

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Speaker 1: my own way, to be like you know what we

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Speaker 1: need to like try and have a normal life.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you've mentioned such dangerous circumstances, and I know that

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Speaker 3: this danger followed you to the pool. You're one place

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Speaker 3: of refuge. So do you mind describing what that was like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So the pool is a fifty meter pool and the

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Speaker 1: building is mostly glass. Sometimes I'd be swimming like backstroke

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Speaker 1: and I'll see holes in the roof because of the missiles.

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Speaker 1: I remember that day we were practicing, just like any

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Speaker 1: other day. You heard something like a really loud knock,

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Speaker 1: but you didn't know what was going on. It took

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Speaker 1: us a moment to realize that it was literally a

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Speaker 1: missile in the water. It did not explode, so the

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Speaker 1: coach was shouting at everyone to go hide. Everyone started running.

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Speaker 1: Everyone's like trying to get out of the pool to

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Speaker 1: go and hide. Me and my older sister were like

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Speaker 1: waiting for my mom to pick us up. I got

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Speaker 1: my mom just shaking and just crying. I couldn't speak,

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Speaker 1: and then my mom was just like shouting trying to

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Speaker 1: make sure that we are okay, and I couldn't respond.

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Speaker 1: So I got in the car. I couldn't respond, and

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Speaker 1: I think it was me being in shock. I was terrified,

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Speaker 1: but I was also used to it, which is really sad.

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Speaker 1: I was sixteen years old and this was normal for me.

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Speaker 3: What solace, if any did you find in the act

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Speaker 3: of swimming, Like, did that help bring structure focus to

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Speaker 3: your life during this time? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I did not want to let it go.

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Speaker 1: For me, it was about proving that I am talented

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Speaker 1: enough that I you know, I'm always going to be

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Speaker 1: the fastest. If I want something in life, I work very,

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Speaker 1: very hard to get it. My mom would shout at

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Speaker 1: me because I would come back home so tired. I'll

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Speaker 1: sleep with my backpack, That's how tired I was.

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Speaker 3: When did you and your sister I first realize that

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Speaker 3: you might want to try and leave Syria, Because I mean,

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Speaker 3: obviously what you've described us is so unimaginably harrowing, but

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Speaker 3: it's still so challenging to imagine leaving everyone and everything

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Speaker 3: you know and love behind. I mean, it's just hard

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Speaker 3: to understate the pull of home.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, me and my older sister were like, we need

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Speaker 1: to go because it's only getting worse. We knew that

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Speaker 1: we're not safe, we knew that every day you get

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Speaker 1: out of the apartment is a risk and you might

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Speaker 1: never see your family again.

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Speaker 2: So the first conversation.

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Speaker 1: That we had was with my dad. We were like,

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Speaker 1: we need to go to Germany. They were just welcoming refugees,

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Speaker 1: and he said no. My mom said no. For my parents,

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Speaker 1: the conversation was not even on the table. For us

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Speaker 1: to leave two girls living alone, that's insane. And my

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Speaker 1: dad was like, find me someone I could trust. And

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Speaker 1: then our cousin came by and he was going with

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Speaker 1: his uncle. So then we opened the conversation with my

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Speaker 1: family again. And then it took ten days for us

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Speaker 1: to leave. My mom was crying every day for ten

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Speaker 1: days straight. They booked the flights from Libanon to Turkey.

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Speaker 1: We got to the airport and I remember we got

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Speaker 1: on the plane and the flight attendant was like, please

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Speaker 1: do not steal the life jackets.

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Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, they said that on the plane.

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Speaker 3: Because they knew so many people were headed down the

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Speaker 3: same yeah, towards the same machine.

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Speaker 2: They knew.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they knew there were thousands of people trying to

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Speaker 1: escape Syria.

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Speaker 3: Were you scared, you, Sarah? You say everything is so

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Speaker 3: matter of factly, and so I'm just so curious, like,

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Speaker 3: and you're seventeen years old at this time, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think this part I'm thankful for my parents for

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Speaker 1: because they raised us to be ready for everything, and

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Speaker 1: every time I doubted anything I was like, my sister's here.

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Speaker 2: She's here.

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Speaker 1: I used to like beg her for like sleepover in

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Speaker 1: her bed, even though like we're in the same room.

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Speaker 1: So she gives me sort of some type of peace,

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Speaker 1: even though we're very different. Me and my sister were

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Speaker 1: very different, but whenever she's there, she was like a

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Speaker 1: parent for me too, how much older three years So

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Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, my sister's here, and for me,

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Speaker 1: I knew that this was my last chance to survive

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Speaker 1: and try to survive and fight for everything. It's the

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Speaker 1: human instinct in the end. Absolutely, it's just I want

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Speaker 1: to live.

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Speaker 3: You say, there's so many parts of your harrowing journey.

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Speaker 3: It took twenty five days, but I want to focus

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Speaker 3: in on one part of the journey, which is when

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Speaker 3: you found a smuggler to help you take a small

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Speaker 3: boat across the sea in order to get to Greece.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we found these smugglers and yeah they were like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you have to pay thy five hundred euros for each

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Speaker 1: person for the sea journey, and you're gonna come tomorrow

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Speaker 1: to this place again at five pm. It was to

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Speaker 1: take us to the island, one of the closest islands

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Speaker 1: in Turkey to Greece. So we all pack this one

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Speaker 1: pack pack that we had from Syria. We didn't have

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Speaker 1: anything else. Anyway, you sit in the bus, you close

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Speaker 1: the curtain. That was four hours. So when we got there,

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Speaker 1: we waited for four days to be able to get

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Speaker 1: on the boat. No water, no connection, no food, You

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Speaker 1: are not allowed to talk to anyone.

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Speaker 3: So what was it like finally getting into this little

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Speaker 3: I mean when I say boat, I mean literally like

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Speaker 3: it's a small rapper boat.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very inhumane.

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Speaker 1: So the dinghy like fits usually like if you want

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Speaker 1: to be comfortable for like five six people, and we

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Speaker 1: were twenty people and one child that was six years old.

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Speaker 1: So the smugglers take people, let them on the boat,

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Speaker 1: they start the motor for you, and they let you go.

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Speaker 1: Whatever happens afterwards, that's it. So usually the trip does

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Speaker 1: not take more than like forty five minutes because obviously

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Speaker 1: the islands are so close. So we got on the

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Speaker 1: boat and then the motor stops after like fifteen minutes.

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Speaker 1: The whole journey, the motor keeps working and stopping the

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Speaker 1: whole time. It's an experience where I'm a swimmer and

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Speaker 1: I was terrified of the water. All of us on

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Speaker 1: the boat, we were praying in one voice as they'll

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Speaker 1: remember that. Some people were taking the water out of

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Speaker 1: the boat. Some people were like trying to steer it.

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Speaker 1: Someone was calling the coastguards saying please save us, and

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Speaker 1: they were like turn and go back. So that was

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Speaker 1: a moment for me where I was like, there is

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Speaker 1: no humanity. So the first thing that we did is

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Speaker 1: throw everything we had, all the belongings. There was a

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Speaker 1: friend of my dad that was also with us, so

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Speaker 1: he stands up, he jumps in the water to stabilize

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Speaker 1: the boat to try and save everyone. And then the

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Speaker 1: next person to stand up and jump in the water

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Speaker 1: was my sister, and then I stood up. I went

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Speaker 1: from the other side, and she was furious and I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm a swimmer too. There was a rope

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Speaker 1: around the dinghy, so me and my sister we tried

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Speaker 1: to grab one rope and then tried to swim. It

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Speaker 1: took us three hours and a half to get to

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Speaker 1: that shore. It was really cold, but we couldn't just

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Speaker 1: let go and leave.

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Speaker 3: You had confidence that you and your older sister would

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Speaker 3: survive this because you're swimmers. But what was painful for

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Speaker 3: you is the idea that maybe everyone else might not.

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Speaker 1: Me and my sister, we could have swum it. We

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Speaker 1: swum open water before ninety percent of the people on

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Speaker 1: the boat did not know how to swim. I also

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Speaker 1: remember doing like smiley faces for the kid, like staying

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Speaker 1: my tongue out because I didn't want him to feel

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Speaker 1: like we were drowning.

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Speaker 3: What was it like on an emotional level to share

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Speaker 3: in an experience like this with a group of strangers,

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Speaker 3: I mean, people you didn't even know days prior.

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Speaker 1: Even though the strip was horrible in every aspect, the

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Speaker 1: inhumane way we were treated, I think we were very,

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Speaker 1: very lucky to have those people on the boat because

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Speaker 1: we all worked together to save each other's lives. You

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Speaker 1: can make it in life on your own, but it's

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Speaker 1: not as beautiful as when everyone makes it.

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Speaker 3: We'll be back in a moment with a slight change

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Speaker 3: of plans. Everyone in Eusra's boat made it safely across

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Speaker 3: the sea to Greece. After they arrived, User and her

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Speaker 3: sister continued their journey, mostly by foot, through four more

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Speaker 3: countries before finally reaching Berlin. They were accepted into refugee housing,

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Speaker 3: where they found safety but little privacy. Eustra spent her

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Speaker 3: days filling out mountains of paperwork to seek asylum. She

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Speaker 3: missed her family in swim practice and the warm weather

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Speaker 3: back home.

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Speaker 1: The moment I got to Germany, it was gray and cold,

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Speaker 1: and I did not like it at all. I was saying,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go back home soon. This is temporary.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to give up on going back to

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Speaker 1: my country. I was, of course thankful to be in

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Speaker 1: a country where they took us in as refugees, but

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Speaker 1: it is not that simple or easy. I know refugees

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Speaker 1: that do not feel like they fit in until today

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Speaker 1: and it's eight years since they left Syria.

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Speaker 2: It's not that they're.

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Speaker 1: Not trying, but the trauma and to process everything they

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Speaker 1: went through is not easy. Not everyone's welcoming. Me and

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Speaker 1: my sister were very, very lucky to meet incredible people

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Speaker 1: that wanted to help. But not everyone meets people that

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Speaker 1: want to help and want to make them feel at home.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I was in a refugee camp when I arrived

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Speaker 1: for a few months, and me and my sister and

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Speaker 1: everyone else that got to Germany, we had so much

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Speaker 1: paperwork to do. We sometimes would wait in line from

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Speaker 1: twelve am until eight am the next day to have

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Speaker 1: just a number. That's how crazy it was at that point.

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Speaker 1: And for me, my escape was sports. I think after

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Speaker 1: three months of getting to Germany, we made an appointment

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Speaker 1: with a swimming club and the coach goes, okay, can

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Speaker 1: you go change and jump in the pool. I want

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Speaker 1: to see your skills. We go, there's one problem, we

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Speaker 1: don't have swimming suits. Can you give us swimming suit? Right?

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Speaker 1: So he goes and grabs swimming suits and we swim.

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Speaker 1: I think, yeah, he was really surprised by the skills

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Speaker 1: and level of US swimming.

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Speaker 2: And after that, yeah, I went back to practice.

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Speaker 3: Wow. Wow, Yeah, you go back to practice and you're

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Speaker 3: in the pool again. So yeah, walk me through what

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Speaker 3: that evolution was like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I met Sven, which was my coach at the time.

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Speaker 1: I sat down with him and he said, what are

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Speaker 1: your goals? And I said, I want to go to

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Speaker 1: the Olympics. And it was twenty fifteen, so my goal

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Speaker 1: and his goal was that I participate at the Tokyo

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Speaker 1: Olympics twenty twenty.

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Speaker 2: Then there was an announcement.

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Speaker 1: That the creation of the first ever refugee Olympic team

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Speaker 1: will happen in Rio twenty sixteen that I did not

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Speaker 1: consider going as a refugee. At that point, I did

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Speaker 1: not want to. I was struggling because where I come from,

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Speaker 1: a refugee wasn't something great like being like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm a refugee I left, I'll be like, no, I'm Syrian.

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Speaker 2: I want to earn my spot.

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Speaker 1: I want to prove that I belong at the Olympics,

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Speaker 1: that I did everything I could in my life for

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Speaker 1: the sport. When I did not want to go to

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Speaker 1: the Olympics as a refugee, my mom was like, if

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Speaker 1: you don't remember how hard you worked, remember the hours

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Speaker 1: I was waiting for you and driving you to practice

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Speaker 1: and drying your hair, making your sandwiches.

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Speaker 3: I love how they said, like, if you don't remember

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Speaker 3: how hard you were, remember how hard we worked.

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Speaker 2: Oh. Absolutely.

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Speaker 1: And then my dad, I remember him coaching me all

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Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, my sister being my biggest supporter and competitor.

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Speaker 1: At the same time, they all told me sometimes there

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Speaker 1: are opportunities in life that you will never have again,

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Speaker 1: and we know how hard you worked and how much

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Speaker 1: you deserve that you should go. I went back to

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Speaker 1: swim and I told him I want to go to

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Speaker 1: the Olympics. But I was still not okay, like not

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent sure about what is this refugee Olympic team.

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Speaker 1: It's going to happen for the first time in history?

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Speaker 1: Will people be okay with it? Will people will? Will

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Speaker 1: they welcome it? There's another announcement a few months later

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Speaker 1: that three athletes made it on the team basically, and

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Speaker 1: one of them is a Syrian swimmer that's based in Germany,

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Speaker 1: and the media goes crazy. We got three hundred plus

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Speaker 1: emails that day. The story goes viral and everyone's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: from refugee to an Olympian. The face of the refuge

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Speaker 1: Olympic team. She speaks amazing English. I was like, oh, God, like,

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Speaker 1: come on, yeah, a lot of Syrians speak at English.

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Speaker 1: You know. I won my heat when I swam, so

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Speaker 1: that was also really insane. I met the athletes on

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Speaker 1: the refuge Olympic team, so many people that showed me

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Speaker 1: so much love that I was not expecting in my life.

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Speaker 2: But the moment that everything changed.

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Speaker 1: For me about who I am, about what a refugee

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Speaker 1: is is the moment I stepped foot in the Olympic stadium.

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Speaker 1: In the opening ceremony, I realized that every person in

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Speaker 1: that stadium stood up for the team. I met the team,

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Speaker 1: and I realized that this team is just about to

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Speaker 1: give the world a very strong message. We do not

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Speaker 1: come from the same countries, yet we are forming this

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Speaker 1: team that sends a message of hope to the world.

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Speaker 1: It was an incredible time for me and that's where

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Speaker 1: everything started.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, your experience in the twenty sixteen Olympics changed you

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Speaker 3: so much that you opted to be part of the

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Speaker 3: Olympic refugee team in twenty twenty. Right, that was a

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Speaker 3: proactive choice. Tell me a bit more about that.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I decided to go to Tokyo again and I

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Speaker 1: was working really hard to be there, and the Syrian

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Speaker 1: team reached out and told me you qualified for us

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Speaker 1: and you can go with Syria, and I respected that

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Speaker 1: and that was very a happy moment for me because

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Speaker 1: it was something that I wanted to know that I've

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Speaker 1: done in life. But I chose to compete for the

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Speaker 1: refugee Olympic team because of what I am trying to

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Speaker 1: do in life right now, which is change the people's

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Speaker 1: perspective and ideas about refugees and what can we do

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Speaker 1: and what can we not? So yeah, I competed again

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Speaker 1: for the Refugee Olympic team. I loved every moment of it.

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Speaker 1: To be honest, I would not change anything about both experiences, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: the dream.

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Speaker 3: Wow, that's amazing. You Srah, can you tell me to

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Speaker 3: bring me after speed on present day? I mean, you

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Speaker 3: since retired from swimming, you built this foundation. Tell me

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Speaker 3: a bit more about the foundation and what your goals

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Speaker 3: are for how you spend the rest of your life.

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Speaker 1: I decided that it was time to move on from

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Speaker 1: swimming and it's time for studying. I study film and

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Speaker 1: TV production because I'm a storyteller and I want to

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Speaker 1: be able to tell other people's stories, not just mine.

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Speaker 1: I know that the events that happen in my life

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Speaker 1: are so insane, but I am so thankful because now

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Speaker 1: I get to say I know that I can help people,

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Speaker 1: and I know that I can tell people that they

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Speaker 1: can help others and that coexistence is really beautiful. Last year,

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Speaker 1: in June, I decided to launch my own foundation, and

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Speaker 1: it is a nonprofit foundation that is focusing on helping

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Speaker 1: refugees through education in sports. Because I felt like my

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Speaker 1: education and access to sport helped me become who I

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Speaker 1: am today. For me, sports was my home for the

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Speaker 1: longest time and it will always be and it helped

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Speaker 1: me with my mental health and struggling a lot in life.

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Speaker 1: So I want to give that opportunity to refugees that

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Speaker 1: are still in camps, that are still trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out what are they going to do in their lives.

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Speaker 3: And then tell me about your family. Estra, your parents

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Speaker 3: and your little sister were also able to successfully make

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Speaker 3: it to Germany, and I'm wondering how your whole family

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Speaker 3: is doing today.

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Speaker 1: So pretty well, all of them live in Berlin, Germany.

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Speaker 1: My dad is still swimming coach, lifeguard, and my mom

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Speaker 1: does a physical therapy now. My little sister is super smart.

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Speaker 2: I love talking to her.

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Speaker 1: She's so driven and smart that I cannot wait to

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Speaker 1: see what she's going to do in the future. And

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Speaker 1: my older sister, yeah, Sarah, still does advocacy work and

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Speaker 1: is still based in Berlin, USA.

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Speaker 3: I'm curious to know what you wish people better understood

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Speaker 3: about your experience as a refugee.

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Speaker 1: It took me a while to fit in in Germany

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Speaker 1: so and I was seventeen. It took my parents way

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Speaker 1: longer than me to feel comfortable, to feel like they

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Speaker 1: fit in, to feel like they can feel like they

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Speaker 1: are a part of the society. But I'm going to

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Speaker 1: tell you one thing that is actually really sad. But

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Speaker 1: this is the reality of life. We as refugees sometimes

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Speaker 1: feel detached from where we come from and we don't

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Speaker 1: feel like we fit in. And then you society, so

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Speaker 1: no matter, I have a German passport, but still I

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Speaker 1: cannot say I am one hundred percent German, and I

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Speaker 1: cannot say I'm one hundred percent Syrian, and I cannot

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Speaker 1: be like I'm Syrian and German. There is something, there's

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Speaker 1: like a piece, like a small piece that's gonna always

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Speaker 1: be missing somehow.

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Speaker 2: And this is a.

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Speaker 1: Pain that refugees have. They that they're gonna have for

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Speaker 1: a very long time. And that's okay and that's normal.

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Speaker 3: Hey, thanks so much for listening. Be sure to check

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Speaker 3: out the other two stories in this series if you

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Speaker 3: haven't heard them yet, with Olympic gold medalist Missy Franklin

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Speaker 3: and Paralympic gold medalist Brad Snyder. And next week join

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Speaker 3: me for a conversation with doctor Molly Millwood, a therapist

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Speaker 3: who's honest writing about motherhood has changed how so many

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Speaker 3: people think about this major life transition. And if you

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Speaker 3: enjoyed this conversation, we on the Slight Change team would

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Speaker 3: be so grateful if you could share the episode with

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Speaker 3: someone you know. It helps us get the word out

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Speaker 3: so we can keep making more episodes for you. Thank

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Speaker 3: you so much and see you next week. A Slight

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Speaker 3: Change of Plans is created, written, and executive produced by

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Speaker 3: me Maya Shunker. The Slight Change family includes our showrunner

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Speaker 3: Tyler Green, our senior editor Kate Parkinson Morgan, our senior

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Speaker 3: producer Trisha Bobida, and our engineer Eric o'kwang. Luis Scara

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Speaker 3: wrote our delightful theme song, and Ginger Smith helped arrange

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Speaker 3: the vocals. A Slight Change of Plans is a production

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Speaker 3: of Pushkin Industries, so a big thanks to everyone there,

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Speaker 3: and of course a very special thanks to Jimmy Lee.

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Speaker 3: You can follow A Slight Change of Plans on Instagram

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Speaker 3: at doctor Maya Shunker. See you next week and