WEBVTT - Better than Revenge with Latreal Mitchell 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:04.520 Hell I Suck a Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:10.400 and I Heart radio podcast. Hey, what's going on? Everybody? 0:00:10.400 --> 0:00:12.800 Welcome to an all new episode of Help I Suck 0:00:12.880 --> 0:00:15.560 At Dating. My name is Jared Haven, joined in studio 0:00:15.680 --> 0:00:19.600 with the beautiful, lovely Dean Anglert and then joined round 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:24.759 of a plus mteen and even louder applause for my 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:31.280 next intro, which is the always beautiful, stunning, sweet, gorgeous, lovely, endearing, 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:39.080 uh georgeous, uh, sweetest, nicest What else can I say? 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:47.680 The most awesome person in the entire world? Vanessa GRIMALDA, Hey, um, 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:50.839 we have a pretty great more clapping. Dean was laid 0:00:50.880 --> 0:00:52.880 on that one. Dean's eating eminem so he's laid on 0:00:52.920 --> 0:00:54.920 everything right now. He's a little delayed, but we have 0:00:55.000 --> 0:00:58.120 a great guest coming in later from the new show 0:00:58.200 --> 0:01:01.880 Revenge Body with Chloe Kodashi. And I don't know why 0:01:01.920 --> 0:01:03.840 I said as if like I straight came off the 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:07.640 boat from Boston. Uh. Latrella Mitchell known as law or 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:11.560 la La, which is Latrell Latreal. I'm so bad at 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:15.000 pronouncing names. Scott, so Latreal Mitchell will be in studio 0:01:15.080 --> 0:01:18.200 joining us as her new show with Kardashian comes out. 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:20.520 She's a celebrity fitness trainer. So everybody's trying to get 0:01:20.560 --> 0:01:23.680 ready for summer. So hopefully we'll get some pointers about 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:25.840 how to get those ads back in my right ning 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:30.679 never mind, as he's currently chomping on Eminem's but first 0:01:30.720 --> 0:01:33.800 before we get to her, uh Mark and Easton. Also 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:37.240 in studio, Tori, another one of our producers, has a 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:40.080 question for our panel, which I think we're calling like 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:43.840 the help panel. She's in the producer booth. She's being 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:46.280 quarantined for some reason. She's not allowed in studio. We're 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:50.680 gonna bring her right if you like her, get in here, 0:01:50.720 --> 0:01:53.280 come on, take a little walk around. So Tori is 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:55.000 gonna come in. She has a quick question which I 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:58.280 think is about wedding dresses, which different that was the 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:01.280 era that she this is a dating thing, that some 0:02:01.560 --> 0:02:03.240 guy did this, and she wants our thoughts on it. 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:07.160 Oh perfect, Sorry this happened to Tori, Yes, this happened 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:13.880 to Tori. Alright, Hello Tori? How are you? I'm good? 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:15.959 How about you good? Thanks for joining us? I mean 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:19.800 you always joined right? Oh my god, I want to 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:21.560 know about this, So hold on first, of all, I 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:25.200 had no idea you were dating. Well, she's always dating. 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:31.800 You suck at it, don't we all? One? So what happened? 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:35.520 So I met this guy actually three years ago at 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:42.760 stage Coach Okay and Dean's and thralled one, it's got 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:45.760 better things. I'm listening. I don't understand why people don't 0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:47.560 understand that I can be on my phone and be 0:02:47.600 --> 0:02:50.200 listening just two minutes. You met a guy at stage Coach. 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:54.000 So I met a guy at stage Coach three years ago. Um, 0:02:54.160 --> 0:02:57.720 and we like loosely he played football all that stuff. 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:01.160 So he we like loosely stayed in touch like a 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:03.880 lot of like drunk face times randomly, like throughout the years, 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:05.880 like kind of funny, like his friends would kind of 0:03:05.880 --> 0:03:10.000 do the same thing. Um. And so finally he reconnects 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.000 and he's like, hey, I would love to take you 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:14.960 to coffee or lunch, dinner or whatever whenever you're free. 0:03:15.040 --> 0:03:16.880 And when I get back into towns, I was like, sure, 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:20.000 y'all let me know. So he lets me know. We 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:25.280 planned Saturday. He picks um abbot Kinney, which I think 0:03:25.360 --> 0:03:27.359 is great, Like it's outdoors. People don't know that's in 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:32.560 Venice California candy, Like, there's shops walk around, there's open 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:35.760 little market, good places to eat all around. I like 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:38.360 this guy already, so I show up. I have a 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:41.680 feeling it's gonna change, it's gonna go all downhill. So 0:03:41.720 --> 0:03:43.400 I was like sending a lot of pictures to like 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:45.960 my sister and friend, being like, what's my vibe? Like 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:50.920 cheetah skirt with some white sneakers, jeans and a top, 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:53.640 like I don't really remember how tall he is and 0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:56.320 I'm five tents. I was like, do I wear booties, flats, 0:03:56.800 --> 0:03:58.280 a lot of things? Do you know it took time? 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:00.800 Do you get insecure about that? I don't get insecure. 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:03.440 I get insecure for the guy. So I guess maybe 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:05.480 we should have a whole segment devoted to what you 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:09.760 should consider wearing on a first date. I would take no, 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:13.640 because I don't know. So what did you wear on 0:04:13.640 --> 0:04:17.960 your first day with the silver Fox? Uh? My leggings? 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:21.720 I it's really bad. He's all, that's a great first date, honestly, 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:26.960 as a guy, and asked for anything else, No likings. 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:30.880 His way to go a not really since I get 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:32.600 to dinner date kind of thing. Well, of course, it's 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:35.039 just showing up to a five star restaurant and likings. 0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:37.159 That's a different conversation. But if you guys getting a drink, 0:04:37.680 --> 0:04:39.520 here's the thing. As a guy com throw on a 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:42.159 pair of jeans. I'm probably gonna wear my flip flops. 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:44.400 To be honest, I'm gonna and I'm gonna wear a 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:45.960 T shirt. I don't want to see in my feet 0:04:45.960 --> 0:04:48.280 on the first day. That's the vie. Dean's gonna pull 0:04:48.320 --> 0:04:49.840 up through the Apple Bee's for the first day in 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:52.679 his van jump out. It's going to be a good time. 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:56.240 Too far, Jared, I'm a big apple I I don't 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:59.640 know why, but I laughed. I like, okay, far. The 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:01.919 it is, what are you supposed to wear on our 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:05.280 first date? What's appropriate? What about? Here's the thing? What 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:08.680 about guys? Girls can wear leggings, but can guys a 0:05:08.880 --> 0:05:12.000 k my date, bless his soul show up in basketball 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:20.080 shorts and I ask like, i'd workout shirt here. We 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:24.200 just walked around and then that'll get into there later. 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:28.160 Maybe who's gonna be active walking around? Here's the thing, 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:30.479 here's him attire. Here's the thing that we haven't asked 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:32.360 ourselves yet that I think is crucial to the rest 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:34.200 of the story, and Tory, you're the only one that 0:05:34.200 --> 0:05:36.359 can answer this question for us. How the hell do 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:38.520 we know this is a date, because by the sound 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:39.880 of it, it could have just been like two people 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:42.839 hanging out question. I agree with that. I think that 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:45.560 when you say, hey, I would love to set aside 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:47.640 time for you, and like if it's not like a 0:05:47.640 --> 0:05:49.599 group hang out like you know, and I haven't seen 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:52.920 him three years, and his buddies have always been like, oh, 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:55.280 like he's into you, like well, like on the drunk 0:05:55.320 --> 0:05:58.320 phone ask you he was like his words were, I 0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:00.719 would love to take you to lunch cough be dinner 0:06:00.880 --> 0:06:03.840 like which one like, let me know, I think that's 0:06:03.880 --> 0:06:06.640 a day it sounds like. And also, well, that's another 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:08.840 good question. Our guys not having to state like, hey, 0:06:08.839 --> 0:06:10.160 I want to I just feel like I want to 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:12.039 take you on a date doesn't really exist anymore. I agree. 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:14.200 I don't think guys have to state what what if 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:16.200 it's a date or not. But I think saying coffee, lunch, 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:18.480 or dinner is indicative that he just wants to hang 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:20.520 out with you, meaning he wants to get to know 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:23.159 you more. And I think that he definitely was like 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:25.120 trying to feel it out, being like coffee if you 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:27.640 don't really want to take this like super intense or whatever, 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:32.680 or like lunch, you know, respectful, gentlemanly. Yeah, I don't 0:06:32.720 --> 0:06:35.440 think that. I also think people are overthinking in today's 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:37.800 world what a date is. They're like, well, we met 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:40.000 up with coffee. Is it a date? If you guys 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:42.880 meet up in a social if you guys meet up 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:45.880 one on one, it's a date. No, that's what we 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:49.279 were just saying. I did, But I agree with Jerry. 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:52.520 But you're right also Dean, because the modern man is 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:55.239 using it as a loophole. But that's exactly my point. 0:06:55.560 --> 0:06:58.800 Commitment avoidance is what that is. And exactly let me 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:00.480 tell you why this could have not been a date. 0:07:00.560 --> 0:07:03.599 My my, what Tori said, I'm using her words, not 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:06.320 anyone else. Is she said, We drunkenly face time each 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:09.120 other every once in a while as a me not 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:13.600 you guys have met three years ago. He considers you 0:07:13.640 --> 0:07:16.960 a friend. At this point, you're nothing more. But he 0:07:17.000 --> 0:07:19.440 wants to explore if he can get to another level 0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:21.120 with her. Exactly, and that's why I had I had 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:24.080 her clarify whether she thought it was a date or not, 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:26.320 but he just thought you were a friend up until 0:07:26.360 --> 0:07:28.440 that point. Whether you guys, when you went on a date, 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:32.080 you're you're a person he can talk to to forget 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:34.480 about something else for a second. He's it's not. But 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:36.000 I kind of feel like it's that thing where like 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:37.320 if you meet somebody at a bar and you're like, 0:07:37.320 --> 0:07:39.040 I'm kind of interested in you, you're still being like 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:42.360 to meet years ago, and this is the first time 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:44.200 you hung out with him. He's not that interested in you, 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:48.240 and vice versa. You're not that interested in and she's 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:52.520 not that interested in him. I'm just saying the fact 0:07:52.520 --> 0:07:54.240 that it's taken three years for you guys to hang 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:56.440 out proves that neither of you are that interested in 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:58.440 each other. So let's just clarify too, because I'm a 0:07:58.480 --> 0:08:01.239 little lost. You guys met three year ago at Stage Coach. 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:04.880 Since that point, you had not hung out, only drunken 0:08:04.920 --> 0:08:08.320 facetimes occasionally. Can we just clarify that he's the only 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:12.040 one drunk facetia Great, so he's the one drunk facetiming you, 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:15.000 but that was the only communication three years. It was 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:17.520 very loosely. Well, Okay, here's the thing. I will say, 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:19.480 he's an athlete, and then he was drafted and went 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:21.600 to Cleveland Browns for a bit, so then it's like 0:08:21.640 --> 0:08:25.680 I lost him. Didn't listen. That sounds dramatic, but so 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:27.880 basically it's like I knew, like I was also like 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:30.200 in college, like we just like we're in separate world. 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:33.000 Him being an athlete helps put the truth to the 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:37.000 basketball shorts. That is that normal? And the fact that 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:42.480 he drunk in FaceTime. Yeah, I um, I dated an 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:44.760 athlete who would always show up even to like my 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:48.280 grandmother's house on Sunday lunches with like flip flops and 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:50.400 like you know, like the athletes what they wear with 0:08:50.440 --> 0:08:55.319 the socks and the flip that was and flip flop 0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:59.199 flip socks and slides, thank you slides. That's that was 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:01.360 my alp up like twenty two everywhere I went. Yeah, 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:03.920 but that's acceptable because you were in your late teens 0:09:03.960 --> 0:09:06.000 early twenties. You see a kid like that and you're like, 0:09:06.559 --> 0:09:09.400 but if how old this hell was this guy? He's 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:14.920 my age, Okay, so I don't know if you show 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:18.080 up in socks, Okay, So Tory, are you asking us 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:19.960 if this was a date or if this was like 0:09:20.000 --> 0:09:23.080 a two people hanging out of the front, she hadn't 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:25.400 gone to the point yet. So this just has me 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:29.839 questioning where we are as girls, Like what's our new 0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:32.560 move now? Because so then we are walking around and 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:35.400 I was like, I'm starving. I'm starving. I didn't prepare, 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:38.200 did not really like get right into it. There's gonna 0:09:38.200 --> 0:09:40.520 be lunch for dinner or coffee. You just lunch, But 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:42.320 then I'm not going to be like, all right, let's 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:44.959 get because I also hate decision makings. That's like a 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:46.319 little bit on my part, but I made that very 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:47.920 clear with him. I was like, I don't do well 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:49.840 with decision making. You can tell me. We're watching Aunts 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:53.760 cross the Road and I'm in slapping now. So we're 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:55.880 walking around and I was like, oh, I feel so rude, 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:58.000 Like I'm drinking my coffee, Like is there something you 0:09:58.040 --> 0:10:00.280 wanted to eat or get while we're walking O round 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:03.920 or like stop somewhere, okay, let's sugar drop in, you 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:06.000 know um? And so he's like oh yeah. So like 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:08.040 we do another lap and then we get to creation. 0:10:08.080 --> 0:10:09.360 He's like, let's eat there, and I was like one 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:12.959 of my favorite spots, perfect and so we're chatting, like 0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:17.280 conversation was good. So come to the end the tab, 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:21.439 so I bring out my card because I will never 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:23.880 be like, you're paying for me, because I always think 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:26.560 it's like a girl should always just at least offer, like, hey, 0:10:27.080 --> 0:10:29.640 you totally don't have to pay for this, but like, also, 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:32.960 this was your idea, not mine. And so I laid 0:10:32.960 --> 0:10:34.720 my car down, but I just kind of kept talking 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:37.439 and made it really casual. And then he just pulled 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:39.360 his car out and put it right on top of mine, 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:42.600 and the waitress came and took it, and you know what, 0:10:42.679 --> 0:10:44.640 I wouldn't be that upset about it, and I'm really 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:46.920 not that upset. I'm just confused because I, first of all, 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:49.800 I've like every guy I've been with, it's always been 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:51.600 like that was nice of you, but like absolutely not. 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:54.640 But also he ordered a latte and I had water 0:10:56.840 --> 0:10:59.240 for this dude, but you guys didn't get you split 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:03.000 a lot, don't know like he had, like you know, 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:05.920 tastes are like six bucks here in La. So I'm like, no, 0:11:08.280 --> 0:11:10.760 the more you talk about it, the less it sounds 0:11:10.760 --> 0:11:15.800 like a date to I just get hold on. I 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:17.480 want to know why Dean doesn't think it's a date. 0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:22.120 He shows up in basketball shorts and flip flops, not fliplops, nikes, 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:25.720 oh sneakers whatever, same deaf. He hasn't hung out with 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:29.240 this girl in three years. He shows up in shorts, 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:33.839 first time seeing her in three years. You guys go 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:37.400 get food and you go dutch on the bill, Like, 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:39.120 how are none of these signs? How? How do you 0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:40.679 how do you guys think it's anything other than not? 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:44.040 How did he I got lost to how did he 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:46.440 ask you on this date? Or how did he ask 0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:48.720 you to hang out? So he was like, oh, like 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:51.800 I'm back home, We'll let finally have the time to 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:54.360 connect because like he just never had time, you know, 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:57.240 summer training and then into being drafted. He just so 0:11:57.280 --> 0:11:59.200 it sounds he got fired from his job. He's a 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:02.680 little bored. He wanted to kill some time on the day, 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:04.679 but he didn't want to change out after his workout. 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:10.240 What no, okay, well, whether okay, whether this is a 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:12.720 date or not? Is this someone that you can envision 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:14.679 having a life with, you know, like, would you want 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:16.440 to do even want to think about that? I just 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:19.480 want to know what is the girl move? I don't 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:20.920 I mean I don't know if I if I really 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:23.679 see a future. It's been one time, like one like 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:26.800 two hours. I just want to know. Did I stiff 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:30.600 arm him by paying being like friend zone or is 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:35.200 this woman to do that's an interesting question. No, no, 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:38.400 not at all. You think that you did something wrong 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:40.839 by paying for the damn bill? Excuse my language, but 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:43.800 she did nothing wrong. But did she send a message 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:45.719 by putting out her credit card like this is she 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:48.040 telling him this is not a date? No? No, I 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:53.760 agree with no, because in fact, women can't pay for bills. 0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:55.360 If if she if you wanted to pick up the 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:57.480 entire tab, you could have picked up the entire tab 0:12:57.559 --> 0:13:01.080 and been, you know, gone to place right after, and 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:05.120 like I mean, it doesn't mean anything, and you did 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:08.360 the right thing, because any girl that offers, I think 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:10.560 is in the right because I've been on a couple 0:13:10.600 --> 0:13:13.080 of dates obviously before actually that I went on the 0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:15.760 date and the bill would come and they wouldn't even 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:17.800 make a move. No, granted I'd always have my car 0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:21.040 ready to go, but not even a like, oh let 0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:23.040 me pay for half, and I the no, of course, 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:25.720 So I've always any time a girl was like, hey, 0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:28.680 let me pay for half. That was always a good 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:30.520 sign for me. So like that you had your credit 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:33.560 card out is a positive thing. You shouldn't look at 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:36.040 it as here's the thing. I split checks all the 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:41.400 time with my friends. Yeah, right, do you ask? Okay, 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:43.439 I don't understand how you don't think this is a date. 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:45.520 So he hasn't seen her in three years? He comes 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:48.680 back home. Tory is a very attractive woman there, around 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:50.800 the same age. They live near each other. Why would 0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:53.280 he not be like, hey, yeah, I thought you were 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:56.000 really cool. Are you asking me why this guy might 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:57.679 not be interested in Tori? Because I don't have the 0:13:57.679 --> 0:13:58.920 answer to that. We have to get the guy in 0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:01.800 here to answer answers it in Tori, why bother spending 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:04.440 time with someone if you're not? Am I interested in 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:06.680 dating any of you guys in the studio right now? 0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:10.720 Clearly not? Why? But he doesn't work we work together, 0:14:10.760 --> 0:14:12.559 you guys are It's baseless. You guys are saying, why 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:14.640 have any human interaction with someone if you don't plan 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:16.840 on hooking up with them at some point? No, but 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:20.080 why have an interaction with someone that you after three 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:22.600 years of knowing them and not really getting close with them? 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:27.640 And then obviously fine, Ben fine, because it's so still 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:31.280 it's just like, did he make did he make him 0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:33.120 a physical move on you at any point on the day? 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:35.360 But why does he have to be a physical move 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:39.440 because that would be indicative of his intentions or maybe 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:41.760 his intentions was to get to know Tori and and 0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:45.400 get to know intellectually, emotionally and figure out if this 0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:50.440 is warranting a second day. No, he's you guys are delusion? 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:54.440 How are we delusion? Because if you actually wanted to 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:56.480 do that, he wouldn't have shown up wearing what he 0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:59.920 was wearing. Just that it's it's a guy being a 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:03.400 oblivious one. But also, guys are so I've asked this 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:07.640 girl out. Oh no, I've I've I've made myself vulnerable 0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:10.040 for half a second. I need to counterbalance that by 0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:13.560 showing up looking like a bum and and splitting the 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:15.800 bill with her weird like I don't want her to 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:18.320 think I'm into her. I'm scared now. I think that's 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:21.080 a big factor. But I think specifically, this guy played 0:15:21.080 --> 0:15:24.480 college football, got draft the NFL. He's probably pretty used 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:26.960 to showing up dressed up. However, he can get like 0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:29.600 Jim Shorts T shirt doesn't matter, and the girl always 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:31.560 still wants to get with him because he plays football 0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:34.760 and he got drafted in the NFL. Not saying this 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:36.760 guy got drafted in the NFL played for the Browns 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:39.600 for threes even the Browns have league minimums. In effect, 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:42.360 he made at least four hundred thousand dollars over three years, 0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:45.520 one point two million dollars to he's So he just graduated, 0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:48.440 and you're telling me this dude can't spring for a 0:15:48.480 --> 0:15:50.960 fifty dollar meal like creation. That's my whole point. That's 0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:55.120 my That is my point, because he can very assuredly 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:57.720 afford the meal and would have if he was on 0:15:57.760 --> 0:15:59.360 a date with her. But the fact that he was 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:01.200 not on a day it with her. He's not gonna 0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:03.240 be buying all his friends food every single time they 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:05.160 go out. But it was his idea. He's the one 0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:07.640 who texted Tory saying, Hey, I'd like to hang out 0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:10.400 with you. So the idea that Tory paid for his 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:15.120 latte after he's made a pretty penny, probably from even 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:18.280 his rookie season in the NFL, come on. That's the 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:20.520 one thing that I have against my argument is the 0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:23.120 fact that if you're the one instigating the date, you 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:25.720 should be the one paying for the meal. Again, I 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:28.120 don't think it was a date. I think that if you, 0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:30.520 if you, if you, if you were to text me, 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:32.880 if Jared were de text, if Jared were detect me 0:16:32.920 --> 0:16:36.000 and be like, hey, man, can I please finish? What's 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:37.680 wrong with guy? And God? I'm not saying but if 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:39.440 I was a gay man, then of course you might 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:41.560 you might have a day with If you two were gay, 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:44.080 then obviously he'd be thinking, Oh, I think we're going 0:16:44.080 --> 0:16:46.560 on a date. It's different. It's different. If Tori texted 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:48.600 me and said, hey, let's be up for lunch real quick, 0:16:49.280 --> 0:16:50.720 I would be like, Okay, let's do it. If you 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:53.760 work with Tori, it could be a professionals and I 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:56.440 would argue that it would be a little awkward. If 0:16:56.480 --> 0:16:58.360 Tory asked, Hey, Dean, I want to get lunch with 0:16:58.360 --> 0:16:59.960 you one on one, you would be like, wait a minute, 0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:02.440 is this a date? No one know that she would 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:04.199 never ask me on the date. I'm just has she 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:06.760 ever asked you to lunch one on one? Uh No? 0:17:07.480 --> 0:17:13.160 Why haven't you asked me on? Because maybe there's always 0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:14.840 the expectation that if a guy and a girl are 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:17.000 hanging out that there is something more than just a 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:21.000 potential friendship. Tori, for instance, went to lunch with one 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:23.399 of my really good girlfriends the other day, who I 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:26.040 get food with very a couple of times a month, 0:17:26.119 --> 0:17:27.800 just to talk and catch up and hang out with 0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:30.280 her because I like talking to her. But you're you're 0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:33.160 really good friends with her. There's a difference between being 0:17:33.160 --> 0:17:35.560 good friends with someone from the opposite sex and asking 0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:37.400 them to lunch because there's a reporter there, and then 0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:39.840 asking someone out on the opposite sex that you're attracted 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:43.679 to for the first time. Dude, No, not at all. 0:17:44.240 --> 0:17:46.520 Who is the Can I just say she paid for me? 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:54.560 She's She's absolutely the best. She pays for me sometimes too. Um. 0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:58.480 The point is all great friendships have to start somewhere, right, Yes, 0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:02.720 So maybe he wants to go out with Tory to 0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:04.600 get to know her better, to be in a friendship 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:09.320 with her. Oh please after three years? No, they can 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:11.800 build a friendship after No. I guess my question is 0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:13.960 would you do in this case? Would you text him 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:19.119 and ask if it was a date or female friends? 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:21.560 I hate this. You guys are literally making my blood boil. 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:25.520 You are here representing the typical commitment phobic mail that 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:31.000 you are are what it's called a human being that's 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:34.280 sometimes enjoys paying with other human beings. There is no commitment. 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:36.800 I am commitment phobic, but that's not this in action 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:39.720 right now. No, it's not, and it's you, and it's 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:43.360 honestly the majority of no offense. You're married. You got 0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:51.480 to sit out of this. Have you ever inadvertently been 0:18:51.520 --> 0:18:53.560 accused of leading someone on and you really have no 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:56.679 idea where it's coming from? Yes, do you think maybe 0:18:58.000 --> 0:19:02.320 this could be an example of that? No, Like you're like, 0:19:02.359 --> 0:19:04.920 how did you get from there to there? Like what 0:19:04.960 --> 0:19:06.760 were your thoughts? And you were like, well, you asked 0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:09.840 me out lunch one on one. Uh, I don't ask 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:11.280 people to hang out with me. They're always the ones 0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:14.359 asking me to hang out. That's a fair point. Actually, okay, 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:16.879 that's a fair point. But if so, I don't know. 0:19:17.080 --> 0:19:20.520 I think, if if this guy is texting Tori specifically 0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:23.160 to hang out one on one, where it's a guy 0:19:23.280 --> 0:19:25.639 that she's known for a little while but never have 0:19:25.720 --> 0:19:30.000 formed a friendship with um, I would have taken that 0:19:30.080 --> 0:19:31.720 as a date. And if honestly, if I was the 0:19:31.760 --> 0:19:34.320 guy asking her. I would want her to take it 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:36.480 as a date, because it would be worse if she 0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:39.040 thought we were just hanging out as friends and I 0:19:39.080 --> 0:19:41.840 thought it was a date. How you because there was 0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:43.360 like a girl. There was a girl when I used 0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:46.119 to bartend. There was a girl that I thought was 0:19:46.160 --> 0:19:48.160 super cute, really like she used to come in all 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:50.920