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Speaker 1: This is The Eds with Eddie Judge and Edwin Adoyave.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to The Ed's podcast. My name is Eddie,

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Speaker 1: and today we have a special co host, Shane Simpson.

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Speaker 1: He is filling in. Hello, Hello, Hell are you Buddy?

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Speaker 2: Good? Good?

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Speaker 1: Thanks for having me good, Thanks so much for filling

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Speaker 1: in for Fred one today. Unfortunately he was not able

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Speaker 1: to attend. He's got some big things going on in

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Speaker 1: his life right now that have are very very important,

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Speaker 1: particularly with his wife's health, and I just want to

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Speaker 1: take this to a moment to wish him well and

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Speaker 1: a speedy recovery, and I hope that the entire family

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Speaker 1: gets through this unharmed. Absolutely, I'm excited.

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Speaker 2: Buddy.

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Speaker 1: Did you know that you were our first guest ever

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Speaker 1: when we launched our podcast, you were our first person.

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Speaker 2: I do remember that it was a little while ago.

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Speaker 2: It was it was enjoyable.

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Speaker 1: I want to say it's almost a year ago.

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Speaker 2: Uh way, really yeah.

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Speaker 1: Because I think we started well a year ago. We

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Speaker 1: started in February and we did a podcast introducing ourselves,

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Speaker 1: and then we did another podcast talking about ourselves again,

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Speaker 1: and then I think the third podcast is when we

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Speaker 1: started interviewing house husbands.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, and you get some good insight from house

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Speaker 2: husbands I have.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've been really excited to get to know

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Speaker 1: the guys, particularly the ones I like. You know, It's

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Speaker 1: it's fun to hear their real story and hear who

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Speaker 1: they really are, because you know, I've I wouldn't call

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Speaker 1: myself a victim. I don't like to victimize myself, but

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Speaker 1: I think when you don't really speak your voice and

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Speaker 1: tell your true story and sure who you are, it's

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Speaker 1: hard to have anybody believe you know who you are.

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Speaker 2: Right and and in a way, you feel like you're

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Speaker 2: in the closet and you're kind of hiding out, and

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Speaker 2: you want to be able to express yourself a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, And one thing I learned is, you know,

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Speaker 1: and and Terry taught me this. He he loves talking

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Speaker 1: about himself. So it really is good for us to

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Speaker 1: talk about ourselves because who else knows us better than ourselves? Right?

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Speaker 2: And maybe there's you know, some areas you feel that

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Speaker 2: you're misheard on or misunderstood on, and you want to

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Speaker 2: be able to provide clarification. We're really, like you mentioned,

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Speaker 2: we're really talking to ourselves.

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Speaker 1: Hey, so listen today's topic is about fear and any

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Speaker 1: type of fear, phobias, or anything like that. We want

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Speaker 1: to talk about fear and men relating to fear. We

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Speaker 1: might hit on a little bit about how women handle fear,

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Speaker 1: but personally, I don't know about you, but I use

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Speaker 1: fear as a tool. The more scared I am of

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Speaker 1: doing things, or the more the more something scares me,

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Speaker 1: the more I want to do it. Part of it

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Speaker 1: has to do with my addictive addiction to adrenaline. You know,

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Speaker 1: if it doesn't scare me, it's not big enough. It's

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Speaker 1: not scared eno if I really don't want to do it.

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Speaker 1: So it took me a while to get here thinking

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Speaker 1: about when was the last time I was afraid. I

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Speaker 1: think I was a kid. You know, we didn't know

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Speaker 1: anything as a kid, and I think that's where fear

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Speaker 1: really derives and cripples people. Is the unknown, right, Everybody

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Speaker 1: fears the unknown, and everybody is comfortable with what they

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Speaker 1: know and they stick to it. So I was looking

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Speaker 1: up the definition of fear and it made total sense.

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Speaker 1: And I'm going to read it out because it was

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Speaker 1: a long one, but it's to the point. It says

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Speaker 1: fear is a protective primal emotion that evokes a biochemical

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Speaker 1: and emotional response alerting us to the presence of danger

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Speaker 1: or the threat of harm, whether that danger is physical

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Speaker 1: or psychological. It is one of the seven universal emotions

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Speaker 1: experienced by everyone around the world, and it arises with

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Speaker 1: the threat of harm, real or imagined. While traditionally considered

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Speaker 1: a negative emotion, fear actually serves as an important role

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Speaker 1: in keeping us safe by mobilizing us to cope with

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Speaker 1: potential danger. I think it's precisely what fear is, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: pretty well. How do you handle fear in general? I mean,

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Speaker 1: is there anything you're afraid of?

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Speaker 2: Well, you mentioned that it seems like you lean into something,

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Speaker 2: So something is potentially fearful for you, you like to

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Speaker 2: attack it and go head it head, you know, head first, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: maybe beat it, I mean, right and overcome it. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think that's the case for me sometimes, right. I

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Speaker 2: certainly can't say I attack everything and I'm just going

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Speaker 2: after it. But yeah, sometimes if I'm fearful for something,

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Speaker 2: I will go in head first. If it's if it's

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Speaker 2: work related, then I'll have to plan ahead of time.

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Speaker 2: But then there's sometimes some things that are fearful that

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Speaker 2: I might just, you know, wish I could go put

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Speaker 2: my head in the sand and kind of be buried,

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Speaker 2: right and kind of be like a what's it like

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Speaker 2: an Ostrich? Right, they put their head in the sand.

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Speaker 2: Give me an example of that of running away from something?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like what would be something that you have to

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Speaker 1: put your hand in the sand and go, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to know?

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Speaker 2: You know, when I was thinking about what am I

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Speaker 2: scared of? Yeah, people might find this week, But something

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Speaker 2: that I really am fearful of is is going broke.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's out of money.

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Speaker 2: And that comes from my childhood. Everything that was thrown

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Speaker 2: at me as a kid. Yeah, earn, you have to earn.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna go broke. You're gonna broke, You're gonna be

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Speaker 2: a bum. And it was always like that growing up.

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Speaker 2: So now you know, anytime Emily comes home with a

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Speaker 2: pair of shoes or something, what runs through my head

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Speaker 2: is we're gonna run out of money. And I'm thinking

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Speaker 2: I got a wife and five kids that I find

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Speaker 2: myself responsible for. Yeah, So to get back to your

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Speaker 2: question a little bit, when it comes to money, actually

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Speaker 2: avoid it. So if there's some bills to be paid

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Speaker 2: or something that's you know, it takes me, you know,

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Speaker 2: kind of hits me from the side, and it's something unexpecting.

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Speaker 2: Then I get really worried and I kind of put

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Speaker 2: it to the side, and I have a pile of

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Speaker 2: bills to pay on my desk that Emily can't get

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Speaker 2: after me for. So, for whatever reason, that's not something

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Speaker 2: I attack head on. That's something I kind of hide from.

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Speaker 1: That sounds stabilitating, and I totally totally understand that. Similar

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Speaker 1: to me growing up with nothing and working my ass

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Speaker 1: off and building you know, what we have in my life.

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Speaker 2: I have.

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Speaker 1: I've had thoughts of failure, and the way I turned

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Speaker 1: it around was, well, I've been there already. I've been

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Speaker 1: there with nothing, and if I had to go back

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Speaker 1: and do it again, I've been there. I recognize it.

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Speaker 1: I don't like it, I don't want to do it.

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Speaker 1: It's not it's not fun. But I'm confident that I

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Speaker 1: can rebuild because I've built what I have and who

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Speaker 1: I am today. A lot more confident now, obviously because

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Speaker 1: I have the history of working my ass off and

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Speaker 1: doing whatever it takes to support family, support myself and

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Speaker 1: do the things I want to do. But now in

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Speaker 1: my fifties, that's kind of reduced. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: start over. I don't want to have to go back.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like you know you've been there and you

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Speaker 2: know you can get out of it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, But do I want to do it at

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Speaker 1: fifty I don't think so.

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Speaker 2: It's like I've been attacked by a dog. Maybe I'll

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Speaker 2: be scared of that happening again, but I know I can.

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Speaker 2: I can survive it.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, be so bad, right, Gosh, there's so many

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Speaker 1: examples we can talk about now. I have had two

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Speaker 1: fears or phobias my entire life, and I was recently

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Speaker 1: able to eliminate one. Both fears are One was a

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Speaker 1: fear of needle actual like you know, syringe needles. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and the other was a fear of spiders. Now, where

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Speaker 1: I got the fear of needles probably comes from either

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Speaker 1: the dentists or going to you know, shoddy doctors when

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Speaker 1: I was little, and when they poke you for whatever

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Speaker 1: vaccine or medicine or whatever, especially in your teeth, like

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Speaker 1: when they poke you and they hit the nerve or

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Speaker 1: they hit the bone, or they hit something, and as

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Speaker 1: a kid, it's traumatizing. It is so traumatizing. Absolutely, So

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Speaker 1: I think that's why I feared it, and fortunately it

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Speaker 1: worked out. I look at it positively. It worked out

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Speaker 1: well for me because in my early twenties, when I

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Speaker 1: was really getting into bodybuilding and working out, and you know,

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Speaker 1: watching all these guys around me that are just you know,

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Speaker 1: biceps are as big as my head and their bodies

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Speaker 1: are giant and enormous, and I'm looking at I'm admiring

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Speaker 1: them because I use that as motivation. But in the

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Speaker 1: back of my head, I'm like, maybe I should do

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Speaker 1: some drugs, maybe I should do steroids, you know, I

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Speaker 1: want to look like that. And fortunately the fear of

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Speaker 1: needles is what stopped me. I just did not want

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Speaker 1: to deal with the needles I and I thank god

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Speaker 1: in hindsight, you know, because of what I know today,

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Speaker 1: you know, the side effects and the risks and everything

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Speaker 1: that's involved with that lifestyle. It just wasn't worth the

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Speaker 1: risk for me. So that's the one fear I actually

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Speaker 1: got over in twenty eighteen.

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Speaker 2: So but for your fear of needles, you really would

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Speaker 2: have gone down that direction in your pursuit of you know,

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Speaker 2: weightlifting and being fit. That really kind of that was

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Speaker 2: the that drew the line for you.

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Speaker 1: I thought, yes, I have to say yes, and I

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Speaker 1: thought you were going. I mean to ask me the question, like,

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Speaker 1: if that wasn't a fear, would you have done it?

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Speaker 1: I probably would have because I was so into bodybuilding

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Speaker 1: and I wanted to get the results. But I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I was to go back. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: mean there was obviously other side effects that you know,

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Speaker 1: as a kid, people talk about it makes you smaller.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, But when you're a kid, you're invincible, right yeah,

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Speaker 2: and you believe everything you're.

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Speaker 1: So I'm glad. I am glad I didn't do that.

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Speaker 1: But at the same time, I learned a big lesson

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Speaker 1: in my life, and that's you can get over a

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Speaker 1: lot of fears. And the way I got over this

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Speaker 1: fear was when I was in the hospital for almost

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Speaker 1: a year with my heart issue, you know.

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Speaker 2: My APIs And what year was that? How recent was that?

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Speaker 1: It was in twenty eighteen and I found myself in

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Speaker 1: the hospital. I got three oblations and like seven cardio versions.

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Speaker 1: But every time I went in, you know, they had

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Speaker 1: to take my blood, so the nurse would I would

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Speaker 1: sit down and the nurse would look you know about

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Speaker 1: this big old needle, and I literally had to do

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Speaker 1: this to force myself to look at that needle going

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Speaker 1: into my vein. And after about six or seven of those,

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Speaker 1: I got over it.

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Speaker 2: You're like, okay, I could do that. That might go

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Speaker 2: for many things, Right, if you have a fear of

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Speaker 2: skydiving and you do it six or seven times, you

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Speaker 2: might overcome it, right, Yeah. Yeah, And I guess you

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Speaker 2: had a greater good, which was becoming healthy. So becoming

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Speaker 2: healthy you had to set that aside because you wanted

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Speaker 2: the end results, right, So you had no choice in

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Speaker 2: a way, or you did have a choice and you chose,

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Speaker 2: you know, becoming healthy. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I think it goes back to my theory of fear, Right,

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Speaker 1: if I fear something, and like I read that that

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Speaker 1: definition fear to me has always been sort of sort

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Speaker 1: of a negative connotation, like if you fear something, how

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Speaker 1: do you get over it? How can I win this?

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Speaker 1: Because I'm not gonna let fear win. So I could

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Speaker 1: have made the choice of you know, just covering my

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Speaker 1: eyes or looking the other way while they're taking the

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Speaker 1: blood and getting through it. But I forced myself. I

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Speaker 1: made the conscious choice to say I'm gonna look at

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Speaker 1: this needle going inside me with the whole goal of

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Speaker 1: getting past this fear. I don't like to be afraid

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Speaker 1: of anything, and the one thing I'm still afraid of

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Speaker 1: is spiders, of all things.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's very interesting. So at first I thought you

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Speaker 2: meant you just got used to it, and so it

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Speaker 2: normalized it for you and you were okay with it.

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Speaker 2: But you're saying you actually made a conscious effort to accept,

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Speaker 2: you know, what you had to go through and be,

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Speaker 2: and you leaned into it, and you you embraced it

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Speaker 2: in a way, in some way. Yes, that's that's much

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Speaker 2: more fascinating actually.

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Speaker 1: With the goal in mind to get over it, you know,

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Speaker 1: because it's I can't figure out why I was even

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Speaker 1: afraid of needles. I mean needles, people getting needled all

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Speaker 1: the time, you know. So it was an unnecessary fear, right,

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Speaker 1: and that's probably where spiders fall in, an unnecessary fear.

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Speaker 1: But looking back to see what I why I was

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Speaker 1: afraid of spiders, it might have been when I was

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Speaker 1: a kid and I was watching some stupid horror movie

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Speaker 1: about giant spiders and it's scared of living hell.

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Speaker 2: Me Like, okay, who wants to be with a spider

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Speaker 2: pretty ugly. Yeah, I'll support you in that, In that

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Speaker 2: fear you choose to get over it, I'll help you

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Speaker 2: with that too.

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Speaker 1: I you know, every time I see somebody handling a tarantula,

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Speaker 1: it drives me insane. I just I see that it's possible,

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Speaker 1: but I just don't know if I could cross that

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Speaker 1: that barrier, you know.

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Speaker 2: But it's not limiting your life in any way either, right, Needles.

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Speaker 2: You could argue it might if you choose to walk

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Speaker 2: away from it, because you might not get the treatment

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Speaker 2: you're looking for. But spiders, is that really stopping you

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Speaker 2: from pursuing anything? No?

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Speaker 1: No, In fact, I've taken a how do I put this,

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Speaker 1: I've taken a path where I when I do see

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Speaker 1: a spider, I try to help it get back into

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Speaker 1: you know, it's it's nature. You know, if it's in

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Speaker 1: the house, I'll get a cup or something and you know,

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Speaker 1: help it and get it out. So it makes me

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Speaker 1: feel good and it kind of makes me reduce my

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Speaker 1: fear of spiders. But you know, then you find these

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Speaker 1: images of the spiders they have in Australia that are

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Speaker 1: as big as your head. And yeah, I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: help that one that's gonna be dead. I'm gonna get

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Speaker 1: my machine gun and I'm gonna shoot the hell out

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Speaker 1: of that thing.

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Speaker 2: So your fear of needles reminded me of something which

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Speaker 2: is a fear. Although I never classified it as a fear,

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Speaker 2: it was always a worry. I was always worried about

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Speaker 2: becoming addicted to things. So an example of being addicted

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Speaker 2: to energy drinks. So nothing gets energy drinks. In fact,

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Speaker 2: I wish I could take them sometimes or use them sometimes,

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Speaker 2: but I worried that that'll be my go to. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's become very dependent on an energy drink at the

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Speaker 2: morning and afternoon and at night rather than just relying

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Speaker 2: on my own self. So I've never had a sip

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Speaker 2: of energy drink for that reason. And it's actually because

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Speaker 2: I fear that I don't have the self discipline to

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Speaker 2: overcome getting addicted to it. And the saying goes for medications.

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Speaker 2: So I have a gold I have stones in my

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Speaker 2: gollbladder and they activate, and when they activate it it's

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Speaker 2: pretty bad. It's a lot of pain. And they can

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Speaker 2: give you vike it in for it, and I took

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Speaker 2: it once and I was like, oh no, wonder why

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Speaker 2: people love this. You know, it's like threw the stones.

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Speaker 2: I don't care about that. Stuff was really good. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you feel really good. Yeah. I never went back and

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Speaker 2: got another prescription for it again. I control it with

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Speaker 2: my diet and everything. I was fearful to just always

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Speaker 2: go get VICINGDF vike, a Viking or whatever painkiller they

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Speaker 2: provide me, and then I become dependent on that and

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Speaker 2: then now addicted to it. So I stayed away from

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Speaker 2: that and learned other ways to accommodate my Goldblader stones.

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Speaker 2: But that's another story.

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Speaker 1: So it sounds like you're saying that you actually were

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Speaker 1: afraid of being addicted as the fear of addiction. That

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Speaker 1: totally makes sense to me, and that's one of the

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Speaker 1: biggest reasons why I like to practice abstinence, and I've

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Speaker 1: done it for many years. There was a period of

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Speaker 1: time when I was running my dad's law firm, and

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Speaker 1: I would bring in, you know, cases of Monster or

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Speaker 1: Red Bull or some energy drink, and we would be

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Speaker 1: ultra productive for three straight weeks, and then I would

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Speaker 1: take everybody off of it. We won't be very productive

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Speaker 1: that week. But that practice, I think allowed me to

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Speaker 1: have a sense of control because I could understand that that.

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Speaker 1: I guess, fear of addiction is a real thing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've witnessed it in various circles, from you know, being

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Speaker 1: addicted to drugs to being addicted to alcoholic to being

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Speaker 1: addicted to anything. Really, it's a real thing, and I

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Speaker 1: can see the fear in that, Like, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to get caught up in that, you know, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be dependent on anything. Do you drink coffee?

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Speaker 2: No, I don't drink coffee. I just never I've never

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Speaker 2: had an appeal to it. I've never cared for it.

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Speaker 2: And my thinking would be the same because I do

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Speaker 2: see a lot of people drink coffee the morning, my wife,

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Speaker 2: my father, a lot of people around me, and I

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Speaker 2: provide it, you know, if they want to come, and

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Speaker 2: I'll run the errands and go grab them stuff. So

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Speaker 2: I'm not against it, you know, I'm not going to

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Speaker 2: lecture them. But yeah, I see the dependency on it,

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Speaker 2: you know, Emily, as most people can't function until they

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Speaker 2: have that morning coffee, and it's it's worrisome, you know, Emily.

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Speaker 2: To be fair, Emily was very, very dependent on her

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Speaker 2: coffee when she had her hip problems. She had a

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Speaker 2: lot of hipochronic pain, so that would help her get

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Speaker 2: through it. And we didn't know that at the time.

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Speaker 2: I just always tease her for being so dependent on

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Speaker 2: it and I and it worried me. Yeah, she had

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Speaker 2: her hip replacement and she recovered. She's not so dependent

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Speaker 2: on them right now. Now she enjoys it. She certainly

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Speaker 2: will get it every morning. But if for some reason

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Speaker 2: our schedules are off and she's not allowed to run

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Speaker 2: down to her Pete's coffee and grab it, she can

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Speaker 2: actually survive the morning, which is really refreshing. And the

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Speaker 2: abstinence that you had mentioned is really commendable because you're resetting, right,

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Speaker 2: You're getting back to the roots and feeling your body

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Speaker 2: and making sure that you're okay without it. Yeah, And

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Speaker 2: I know my father does that with coffee about once

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Speaker 2: a year. He'll go two weeks without it just to

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Speaker 2: tell himself that he has not dependent on it. Right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's definitely a psychological tool for me to

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Speaker 1: be able to have a lot of self control, because

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Speaker 1: what I do know about life is I can't control

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Speaker 1: everything outside of me. But if I can control my desires,

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Speaker 1: my addictions, my weaknesses, whatever I can control about me

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Speaker 1: my thoughts, which are hard to control. You know, thoughts

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Speaker 1: are going to come in. I have no responsibility, But

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Speaker 1: what you do with it is what you can control.

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Speaker 1: So what do you use to give you energy? Where

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Speaker 1: do you get your energy from?

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Speaker 2: You know this might sound corny, but I just I

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Speaker 2: have a lot of responsibilities with the family and my kids,

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Speaker 2: and my concern on a daily basis is they're well being.

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Speaker 2: And I don't want to make it like they're better

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Speaker 2: than other children. And I don't mean their well being

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Speaker 2: like they have, you know, nice clothes and fancy things,

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Speaker 2: but just that they're well rounded and become independent. So,

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Speaker 2: you know, I have my oldest daughter's now twenty four,

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Speaker 2: soon to be twenty four, and she's married, and my

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Speaker 2: concern was always that she would get to that point

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Speaker 2: where she's now and a very independent person and not

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Speaker 2: having to call me all the time for things, not

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Speaker 2: because I don't want her to call me, but because

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Speaker 2: I want her. You know what, if I'm not around

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Speaker 2: one day, right, I don't want her to have a

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Speaker 2: troubled life. And I don't want to be in my

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Speaker 2: seventies and my kids are struggling with just being you know,

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Speaker 2: self reliant. So every day I wake up, actually every night,

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Speaker 2: I go to bed thinking about that the next day,

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Speaker 2: what do my kids need and making sure they're okay.

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Speaker 2: And then I wake up and it's just go, go,

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Speaker 2: go go. It's it's homework, it's it's disciplined with school,

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Speaker 2: it's you know, how they treat each other. It's making

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Speaker 2: sure they have all the things that they need. You know,

380
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Speaker 2: my second daughter in college, and I call her about

381
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Speaker 2: if I don't hear from her sooner about every other

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Speaker 2: day to make sure she's okay because she's she's got

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Speaker 2: a little bit of a transition period going on right

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Speaker 2: now that she's struggling with. So that's my motivation is

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Speaker 2: just constantly thinking about them and what they need. And

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Speaker 2: that's the only thing that kind of gets me going.

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Speaker 1: And that's interesting. I've had a lot of friends share

388
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Speaker 1: those emotions because it sounds like it's a psychological strength

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Speaker 1: of yours that you utilize to keep you motivated. Right,

390
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,960
Speaker 1: it's not physical. You're not drinking anything, You're not you know,

391
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Speaker 1: injecting yourself with anything. You're not really doing anything physical

392
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Speaker 1: to give you that energy that you need to keep

393
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Speaker 1: powering through your day to accomplish what you need to

394
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,720
Speaker 1: accomplish so that you fulfill call it your fear right

395
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Speaker 1: to to say, Okay, I did great today and I'm

396
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Speaker 1: not afraid tomorrow's another day.

397
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Speaker 2: Y I do it right.

398
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Speaker 1: And I've had a lot of fears. When I was

399
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Speaker 1: part of Entrepreneurs organization, I was surrounded by a lot

400
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 1: of entrepreneurs and it was sort of like half of

401
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:08,119
Speaker 1: them were driven by fear, the fear of failure, the

402
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,600
Speaker 1: fear of having no money, the fear of you know,

403
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 1: not making it, and then the other half were driven

404
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 1: by success like like seeing progress right, Meaning they didn't

405
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,919
Speaker 1: use fear as a tool or an emotional tool to

406
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 1: drive them because it was more debilitating to think about

407
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Speaker 1: the fear than it was to just power through and

408
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,440
Speaker 1: think about all the great outcomes that you're going to

409
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Speaker 1: have and not let fear hold you back. Does that

410
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Speaker 1: make sense?

411
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Speaker 2: Yeah? Absolutely. And some people, you know, they want to

412
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Speaker 2: be the best at something and that might be their

413
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 2: motivating factor, right, or some people, yeah, scared of I'm

414
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,199
Speaker 2: sure there's billionaires out there that always think they're going

415
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,439
Speaker 2: to go growth, so they're always striving for more and

416
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Speaker 2: more and more. Right, because it's we're going to be enough. Yeah.

417
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Speaker 1: So I remember my dad used to say this to me.

418
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Speaker 1: Maybe it's a lawyer thing, but he used to always,

419
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Speaker 1: you know, motivate himself by by fear. And some of

420
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Speaker 1: the comments would he would say, or what we started

421
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:22,160
Speaker 1: talking about, where we're not going to make peril this week,

422
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Speaker 1: I guess we're going to be living in our cars,

423
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Speaker 1: Like I'm not living in my car. Dad.

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Speaker 2: What was his thinking when he would say that? Though?

425
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Speaker 2: Was his thinking to Was he really thinking that to himself?

426
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Speaker 1: I think that was his motivation. The fear of living

427
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 1: in your car, or the fear of failure or not

428
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 1: having enough money to you know, to pay the bills

429
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Speaker 1: or you know, to keep the wolves away from the door.

430
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Speaker 2: Right, that really was a concerning at he really him

431
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 2: we might be living in our car next week.

432
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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's what motivated him. I never understood it,

433
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 1: but I get it, but I never understood it. I

434
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 1: just I don't like the feeling of being debilitated by anything, right,

435
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 1: And the only thing I can think of right now

436
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,879
Speaker 1: the top of my head would be like if somebody

437
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 1: was standing in front of me with the gun pointing

438
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 1: at me, and my family. I don't know what I

439
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 1: would do. You know. The default reaction would be like, hey, everything,

440
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 1: you can have whatever you want. You can have all

441
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 1: my money, you can have all my cars, you can

442
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,359
Speaker 1: have all my shit. Just leave my family alone, you know.

443
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 1: And would I be scared? Hell yeah, I would be scared.

444
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 1: I don't know how I can get over that, right,

445
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 1: because I'm scared for my family. I'm not afraid for me.

446
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:33,919
Speaker 2: You know.

447
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: Also, I'm the kind of guy that will go jump

448
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 1: out of an aeroplane just for fun, even though it's

449
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 1: scared of living hell out of me. Right, But I

450
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 1: don't do it because it affects my wife in a

451
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:49,359
Speaker 1: negative way. She had two things in life that she

452
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 1: didn't want me to ever do well three. The third

453
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 1: one is obvious, you know, it's infidelity. I'm not going

454
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 1: to do that. I can control that. But the other

455
00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 1: two or jumping out of an airplane and skydiving and

456
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 1: riding a street bike. Now I got away with the

457
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 1: street bike thing because we made a deal.

458
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:09,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, what was the deal? Was there just some safety

459
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 2: measures to.

460
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 1: Be taken or the honestly, it's gonna be it's gonna

461
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,120
Speaker 1: sound ridiculously dumb, but.

462
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 2: Not if it helped you overcome it, or it helped

463
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 2: her overcome it. So what was it?

464
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:24,640
Speaker 1: The deal was when she was off the show for

465
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,399
Speaker 1: two years, I think she was asked to go back.

466
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 1: And around that same time, my youngest son, Spencer, was

467
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 1: trying to have a relationship with his dad and they

468
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 1: ended up. I think his dad ended up getting Mahrley Davidson.

469
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,360
Speaker 1: I mean, my son never rides a bicycle. Why would

470
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 1: he be a freaking motorcycle?

471
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 2: Right?

472
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 1: And we get the receipts and the all that stuff

473
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:48,959
Speaker 1: and the mail delivered to us, and she looks at

474
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: me like, did you get a motorcycle without telling me?

475
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I would never do that, you know,

476
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 1: I would never do that for you. And that gave

477
00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 1: me the opportunity, long story short, to stay, well, he's

478
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 1: got a motorcycle. How come I can't get a motorcycle? Right?

479
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 1: And then she says, I'll make you a deal if

480
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,639
Speaker 1: you let me, if you agree to go back to

481
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 1: the show, you can get a motorcycle. So okay.

482
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 2: So with the quick pro crow was you know, yeah,

483
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,159
Speaker 2: I'll kind of let something slide that I'm not okay

484
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 2: with if you let something slide that you're not okay with.

485
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 1: Yeah.

486
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 2: Yeah. And it was scary.

487
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 1: I mean, the scariest thing about riding a street bike

488
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,679
Speaker 1: was riding it on a freeway. It scared the living

489
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 1: hell out of me. And it only took riding the

490
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,679
Speaker 1: freeway two or three times when I realized it's the

491
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 1: safest place to be because everybody's going the same direction.

492
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 1: Grant it. You know, we're going seventy eighty ninety miles

493
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 1: an hour, but everybody's going the same direction, so it's

494
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 1: a safer than crossing the streets.

495
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 2: Going through a green light, yeah.

496
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, or somebody. Most accidents happen, you know, from stupidity,

497
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 1: you know, the writer doing stupid shit, and the other

498
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: is you know, accidents where somebody just turns in front

499
00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 1: of you. And that's how shit happens. When I'm writing

500
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 1: on the street, I don't do anything stupid. I write

501
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 1: really slow and very defensive. But on the freeway I

502
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 1: feel good. I can go eighty ninety miles an hour

503
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,400
Speaker 1: and I still feel safe even though all the other

504
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: cars around me are going the same speed. But it

505
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 1: took me a while to get there.

506
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was scared. I was really afraid. So you've

507
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,959
Speaker 2: overcome quite a bit. Then you've you've not been scared

508
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 2: of being fearful. Right, you tried to sing it on.

509
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's a stereo type of men that are

510
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 1: not afraid.

511
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 2: Right.

512
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 1: Do you view that as a as a current situation

513
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:38,360
Speaker 1: with our men today are younger men or is this

514
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 1: a you know, generational thing like when we grew up,

515
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 1: you know, the whole you want something to cry about,

516
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you something.

517
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 2: Like, Okay, I'm not crying.

518
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 1: That's how I grew up. Anyways.

519
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,919
Speaker 2: Well, you know, it's funny because when generally speaking, when

520
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 2: we raise kids, if a little girl falls down and

521
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 2: skins her knee, what do we say, oh, princess, it's okay. Yeah,

522
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 2: When a boy falls down, what do we say? Generally

523
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 2: we say walk it off, It's okay. Scars and all

524
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 2: that stuff. Right, And so you can't help but say

525
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,719
Speaker 2: that that has an effect when they're older. You know,

526
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 2: when the girl gets hurt emotionally or physically, you know

527
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 2: how they're how they view it versus the male how

528
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 2: he views it.

529
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, Now, if you were to swap those two and

530
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:34,679
Speaker 1: you raised the boy like a princess, and a girl like,

531
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 1: you know, a man up. Would you have you seen

532
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 1: kind of have you met anybody like that? Like I've

533
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 1: met some pretty tough chicks.

534
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 2: Like Yeah, you know, I don't I don't know. It

535
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 2: have to make a difference, right, I mean it's nature

536
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 2: versus nurture, right, Yeah, it's a combination of both. So

537
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 2: what we're talking about nurturing and and how you raise them,

538
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 2: and you know, it's it's kind of scary to think

539
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 2: about how much influence a parent or an adult has

540
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 2: around a child. Yeah, I mean, you can make them

541
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 2: think and feel just about anything. And that's that's what

542
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 2: I was talking about earlier. I always get concerned that,

543
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:13,959
Speaker 2: you know, I don't want to be the one that

544
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 2: causes them harm or damage later on in life. You know,

545
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,239
Speaker 2: we have a lot of power. So yeah, I don't know.

546
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 2: I guess it would be a lifelong experiment, right to

547
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 2: raise your children ways and see, but then, you know,

548
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's something we want to experiment with.

549
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 1: But it's so unpredictable though, because the kids that we

550
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: have today are not the same kids when they were little.

551
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 2: I know, I would agree with so a whole.

552
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:42,479
Speaker 1: Different some of them actually swap. You know, the boys

553
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 1: a little bit more sensitive than the girl, and the

554
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 1: girls like, you know, I don't care, Dad, I can

555
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 1: handle it.

556
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean I got a daughter, my daughter, Annabelle,

557
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 2: who's now twelve. We I mean, of all five of

558
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 2: my children, we would all agree that she's the fearless one, right,

559
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 2: see that. I don't know we see that. But she

560
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,320
Speaker 2: came out of the woob like that. Oh really, I mean,

561
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 2: as far as we could tell, she was always like that.

562
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 2: It's not like we said, walk it off or here,

563
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 2: here's a dirt bike. Let's learn. She just on her own,

564
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 2: would climb things, fall, get hurt, and get back on.

565
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 2: We have, you know, two boys, and they're quite the opposite.

566
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 2: I mean, same house, same parents, same everything, same everybody.

567
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 2: I don't know for.

568
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 1: Whatever we do, so I don't get it.

569
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 2: So I do know that Emily, you know, really loves

570
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 2: having mama boys. Right, So she love her boys, and

571
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 2: we argue and kind of have a little debate how

572
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,320
Speaker 2: much of a part, and she's like, well, they're my boys.

573
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 2: That's what I'm gonna do. Yeah, I'm thinking yeah, But

574
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 2: then she gets mad at me, saying there are a

575
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 2: bunch of whims. You got to toughen them up. I'm like,

576
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 2: quit puddling with them in bed, and when they cry

577
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 2: and they want to sleep with you, quit doing that. Yeah,

578
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:58,840
Speaker 2: and then maybe we can toughen them up. But when

579
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 2: when you know? So, they're twins, right, we have twins.

580
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 2: And this year the school year, I wanted them in

581
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 2: separate classes. The decision. I went to the teacher or

582
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 2: the principal and said, I want them in separate classes.

583
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 2: They give the twins the option, so they allowed parents

584
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 2: to decide if they want them together or not. I

585
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 2: didn't know that. I learned that over the last few years,

586
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 2: and I thought, okay, my last their last teacher said

587
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 2: one more year, she goes I would advise one more year.

588
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 2: I don't remember the reasonings, but she did that, so

589
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 2: I honored that because she was a teacher. Then the

590
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 2: next year, which was fourth grade, I made a decision.

591
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 2: I told the school separate classes please, and interesting, one

592
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 2: of them was not having it, plaining, crying, and I

593
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 2: kept telling Emily, no, he's got to learn, because there

594
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 2: is all the more reason why they're in separate classes.

595
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 2: Exactly what happens lo and behold magically they go in

596
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 2: the same class. I find out when one of the kids,

597
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 2: one of them, it was Luke, who was all excited

598
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 2: he was going to the other classroom and I'm like

599
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 2: what And then mom called to school and had them together,

600
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 2: and so you know, Mom, I know you'll have to

601
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 2: tease her next time you see her. So you know,

602
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 2: did she baby them? Yes? Can I say that that's wrong? No?

603
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 2: I disagreed with it. Yeah, but you know, to sit

604
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 2: here and say it's wrong. And I don't really know.

605
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 2: Maybe it would have gone the other way around. Maybe

606
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 2: he would have been overly depressed and really focused on

607
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 2: his schooling. I don't know.

608
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 1: I don't know.

609
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 2: I did disagree with that. I thought, here, you are

610
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 2: yelling at me to toughen him up. Well, yeah, taking

611
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 2: him from one classroom to the next so he can

612
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 2: be with his little brother.

613
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's hard only because I've seen my

614
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 1: kids evolved and done different things, and you know, just

615
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: the and they're still growing into who they are as characters. Right,

616
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 1: they have a whole life ahead of them. And I

617
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 1: say that because I'm the same but the different person today.

618
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 1: You know that I was when I was younger.

619
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 2: Well, I imagine we're the same but with much more experiences

620
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 2: and ability to make decisions. Right, But that doesn't mean

621
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 2: we don't think differently, Like the same thoughts come through

622
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 2: our head, the same fears. Like you you still you

623
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:27,480
Speaker 2: know you have a fear of fighters, yeah, or needles,

624
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 2: let's use needs that. You know you have a fear

625
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 2: of needles. Yeah, but you've overcome it, right, so you

626
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 2: you didn't really, you just changed the way you approach it.

627
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 1: Yeah.

628
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:37,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

629
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 1: And there's another thing that's kind of happened to me

630
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 1: in my old age. I'm a lot more empathetic I can.

631
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 1: I take the perfect example is road rage. You know,

632
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 1: when I was younger, I'd get pissed off, and you know,

633
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 1: I'd cut them off or i'd make a point. Nowadays,

634
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: I understand people have shit going on there in their lives.

635
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: And if you cut me off, whether it's or on purpose,

636
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 1: as long as there's no accident or you made me

637
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 1: do something, you know, like have my own accident, then

638
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: we don't have a problem. Just let them go, you know,

639
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 1: let them be. You don't know what their situation is.

640
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: There's no reason for me to aggravate myself or or

641
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 1: you know, make it a bigger deal than it is.

642
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 1: But when I was younger, it's a whole different story,

643
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 1: like oh yeah, oh yeah, you better believe it was.

644
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 2: I'm very much there with you. I rarely use the horn,

645
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 2: and I teach my children. I'm like, I used to

646
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,360
Speaker 2: use it all the time. I don't know, maybe they didn't.

647
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,919
Speaker 2: They don't see that it's a you know, they don't

648
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 2: see Maybe I don't see what's ahead of them, you know,

649
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 2: like they want to make a right turn. I don't

650
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 2: see what's ahead of them, So maybe I should be

651
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:46,320
Speaker 2: so quick to judge, and then a lot of the

652
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 2: pedestrian there or other times it's just like I said,

653
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 2: it's not is this really going to solve the problem

654
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 2: by me getting after this person? Are they really going to, like,

655
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,919
Speaker 2: you know, have a come to Jesus moment and sit

656
00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 2: there and think, hey, I better be you know, more

657
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,400
Speaker 2: of an obadi and driver. No, so you're right, you

658
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 2: let it go. Plus, we've heard stories at our age

659
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 2: you never know who that person is that you're gonna know.

660
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's the other thing I was just

661
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:13,839
Speaker 1: gonna mention is there's been many times I pulled into

662
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 1: my neighborhood and there's this person driving like an idiot,

663
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:19,680
Speaker 1: and I just either want to, you know, rip around

664
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 1: him or honk on them. And then I realized he's

665
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 1: in my neighborhood, and you know, really, he's probably gonna

666
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:30,320
Speaker 1: be three degrees away from my neighbors. They're going to

667
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,239
Speaker 1: talk about it, and I don't want to be the jerk,

668
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:35,960
Speaker 1: so I have to hold myself back, like, just chill out,

669
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:39,720
Speaker 1: slow down, it's okay, there's no rush here.

670
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,440
Speaker 2: I would agree with you on the road rage. I

671
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:43,719
Speaker 2: think that's a really good example that might be a

672
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 2: lot of men as they get older, they realize, you know,

673
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 2: it's not that big of a deal, and I'm not

674
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 2: going to get any get there any slower, right, I mean,

675
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 2: you know, you know another thing is how many times

676
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,439
Speaker 2: if I cut someone off I don't even know? Yeah, right,

677
00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 2: So I might be that person, and I'm grateful that

678
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,319
Speaker 2: you're not honking at me if I cut you off unintentionally.

679
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's true.

680
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,959
Speaker 2: You fear that I do have, but I never really

681
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 2: had to experience it. And I've told this to many people,

682
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 2: but I don't have to experience it. Is it's bears,

683
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 2: bears Okay, there was to be scared of, it would

684
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 2: be a bear. Because a crocodile allegator, you could jump

685
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 2: on a table, right, these you could probably Yet, they

686
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 2: say you can run, zig zag or whatever. Right, you know,

687
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 2: dogs you could probably fight off somewhat, right, I mean

688
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 2: that don't mean you won't go with injury. But you

689
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 2: have a chance with a bear. What can you do?

690
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 2: You can't dimb a tree, you can't even probably hide

691
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 2: in your closet or a car. You can't run faster

692
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,400
Speaker 2: than them, they say, the only thing you can do

693
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 2: is run down hill Because bears their rear legs or

694
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,759
Speaker 2: paws are shorter than their front so they have difficulty

695
00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:59,840
Speaker 2: running down hill. But how I don't have I'd have

696
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 2: to search for a hill to run down, so just

697
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:06,800
Speaker 2: getting to that hill would be a problem. Yeah, I

698
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:08,279
Speaker 2: mean if I could even make it that far. But

699
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 2: I've always thought if there's some animal to be scared of,

700
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 2: it would be a bear. And they say, what do

701
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 2: they say to do when you encounter a bear?

702
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: What are you to play dead?

703
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 2: Wait? Hell, you know, good luck? I'm sorry. I can't

704
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:24,359
Speaker 2: play dead. I will run like crazy, no way.

705
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, it is scary. That's that's something I

706
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 1: have feared when I'm out in the woods on my motorcycle.

707
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 1: But and I've even seen videos where bears, you know,

708
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,400
Speaker 1: come after them and all they do is, you know,

709
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 1: throttle it and make a bunch of noise and that

710
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:40,759
Speaker 1: usually scares them.

711
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 2: But if there's I don't know if I could take

712
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 2: that chance.

713
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:45,160
Speaker 1: I don't know either. I don't know.

714
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:46,799
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm going to sit there and think, well,

715
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 2: maybe I'll bring these pots and pans and it'll run away,

716
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 2: or instead of wasting these thirty precious seconds, I'm gonna start.

717
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 1: Running right Yeah, Or especially if there's a cop around,

718
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: like your dust, if there's a cover around, he's going

719
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 1: to eat you just to protect their cups. Yeah, that's

720
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 1: that's a that's a legitimate fear. Do you know speaking

721
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 1: of bears, that in California they outlawed bear spray. You

722
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 1: cannot buy bear spray. When I went to Montana on

723
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: a on a motorcycle trip, it was everywhere, I mean every.

724
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 2: Story that was out everywhere.

725
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:27,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, And when I came home, and I don't remember

726
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 1: how we were talking about bears, I said, well, just

727
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 1: get some bear spray. I mean it's I I discovered

728
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 1: it in Montana. I try to order it. They wouldn't

729
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 1: deliver into California.

730
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 2: A large canister of probably intense like pepper spray or something.

731
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 2: But it's large and it's sprayed like and then far.

732
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean if it if it diverts a bear,

733
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:52,359
Speaker 1: it must be pretty poete. I don't know. I don't know.

734
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,720
Speaker 1: I didn't look into that deep, but I was like, okay,

735
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 1: just you know, take my guns away and my bear

736
00:38:58,080 --> 00:38:58,720
Speaker 1: spray away.

737
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:03,879
Speaker 2: Burglars will use that if there's a dog, that'll incapacitate

738
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 2: the dog.

739
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

740
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: I wonder if that's one of the thinkings.

741
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I don't know what California law thinks.

742
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 2: So you do in Utah. In Utah, there were bears

743
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:19,839
Speaker 2: when we lived there, and there were bear attacks and unfortunately, jeez, fatalities.

744
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 2: It was It wasn't common, but it certainly happened my

745
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:24,359
Speaker 2: time there.

746
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 1: Do you have any fear of flying, particularly in what's

747
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 1: going on right now with all these planes falling out

748
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:39,439
Speaker 1: of the sky.

749
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,240
Speaker 2: So I have I do have a fear of flying,

750
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,840
Speaker 2: but it's never stopped me from traveling anywhere. There's always

751
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 2: that concern that the planet would down, but I know

752
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:52,919
Speaker 2: statistically it's very unlikely, so I shouldn't be worried. And

753
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 2: oddly enough, one thing that I have done over the

754
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 2: past five years is I read a lot about airplanes.

755
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:01,360
Speaker 2: I've read a lot about crashes, disasters, why they happen.

756
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:04,800
Speaker 2: I've watched a lot of videos. My daughter Annabel started

757
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 2: watching it with me, and she really enjoyed it. She

758
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 2: would I would always try to make a with it, right, like,

759
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 2: this is what went wrong, this is this is why

760
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,799
Speaker 2: they You know, the pilot shouldn't have left the child

761
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 2: in the cockpit. Believe it or not, that's a story.

762
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:19,879
Speaker 2: So all these different things I would stare they're okay,

763
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 2: as we'll get something good out of it. So she

764
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:26,839
Speaker 2: goes flying with Emily to Ohio and Emily has a

765
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 2: very big fear of flying. I don't know. We don't

766
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:32,719
Speaker 2: even like to sit next to each other when she's

767
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 2: flying because she is she is a mess. So she

768
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 2: flies to Ohio calls me when they land to get

769
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 2: upset with me because apparently Annabel, who was like nine

770
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 2: at the time, I think. So when the stewardess or

771
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 2: the flight attendant's going over like some of the things.

772
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,320
Speaker 2: And the flight attendant's done with all the basic emergency

773
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 2: precaution and instructions, walks by and Annabel raises her hand

774
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 2: and says, I have a question, and the flight tens

775
00:40:58,080 --> 00:40:59,840
Speaker 2: says yes. She goes, what do we do in the

776
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:05,719
Speaker 2: case of a nose dive? And Emily says the flight

777
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,720
Speaker 2: attendants like mouth is dropped. That doesn't not just shouting

778
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,800
Speaker 2: out what do we do in the event of those dives?

779
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,839
Speaker 2: So this is prior to her like five hour flight, right,

780
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:23,800
Speaker 2: so just on edge, yeah, and thinking about yeah, but

781
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 2: she's also not scared. This little girl's thinking, hey, if

782
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:30,359
Speaker 2: our plane starts to go straight down, what do we do?

783
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 2: You know? And it's just like, just let me know

784
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 2: what I'm supposed to do, you know.

785
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 1: That's hilarious.

786
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, So we do that a lot and and and

787
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:41,439
Speaker 2: I still do. I read a lot about it. I

788
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 2: love the idea of flying. Yeah, you know, we went

789
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:49,440
Speaker 2: and flew on A friend's husband has a she six

790
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 2: fifty and he flies it though, so he holds it

791
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 2: and he flies it, right, Okay, So when we went

792
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 2: somewhere a year or two ago, whenever it was, I

793
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 2: wasn't in the back taking photo, was with all these

794
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 2: ladies that want to get the ex fancy. So as

795
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:04,719
Speaker 2: I was up in the cockpit in the jump seat,

796
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 2: oh awsome, that was a treat. That was really something.

797
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 2: And so here I am kind of scared of flying,

798
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:15,400
Speaker 2: but I am facing it because I know statistically it's

799
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 2: it's just unlikely, you know, so I kind of think

800
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,799
Speaker 2: I shouldn't be scared, even though so I am.

801
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:26,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I I don't think I've ever been afraid of flying,

802
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 3: because the only thing I can think of is the

803
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:35,280
Speaker 3: people I've flown with that have freaked out have either

804
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 3: looked at me for you know, comfort or weirdnness.

805
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 1: Because I'm not afraid the planes, you know, doing all

806
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,120
Speaker 1: this stuff and all this weird stuff happening in the plane.

807
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:48,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's just what planes do. That's the big deal,

808
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 1: right exactly.

809
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 2: Bump in the road.

810
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I and I, particularly with plane crashes, I

811
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 1: try not to watch them because then I'm going to

812
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 1: start you know. It's kind of like that fear of addiction.

813
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have that thought because it's an image I've seen,

814
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 1: and if I'm on a plane, I might revert back

815
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 1: to that image that I saw that may or may

816
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 1: not happen.

817
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 2: Right, So I go with Emily, who's an example of

818
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,760
Speaker 2: someone that has a fear of flying. While she's flying,

819
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 2: I know what she's doing. She's thinking of crashing. Yeah,

820
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 2: so of course you're scared. She's thinking, we're gonna crash.

821
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,560
Speaker 2: We're gonna crash, We're gonna crash, We're gonna crash. And

822
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:29,720
Speaker 2: then so naturally you'd be scared. You know. I reminded

823
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 2: of a time I flew to Colorado, and I can

824
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 2: tell you what year it was. It was in oh

825
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 2: oh eight. So, landing in Colorado and Denver, Windy city, right,

826
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 2: the plane kind of going sideways and this and that

827
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:49,279
Speaker 2: and rock in a little bit, landing next to an

828
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 2: airplane that had crashed landed.

829
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:52,360
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

830
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,120
Speaker 2: So out the window, I'm looking and we see off

831
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:59,400
Speaker 2: to another runway and like right in front of us

832
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 2: that is just mashed into the ground. The wings are

833
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 2: off and everything's just the fuselages is broken up. And

834
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:10,439
Speaker 2: it was like, oh that was It was kind of comical, right,

835
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, yeah, I saw this plane

836
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 2: crash just yesterday, and here I am landing right next

837
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 2: to it.

838
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: So that that would be kind of scary.

839
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, So American Airlines flight is going from I think

840
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 2: it was that land er somewhere in the US across

841
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 2: seas had a divert to Rome with fighter jets escorting them,

842
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 2: And there's a lot of video footage of it. You

843
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 2: can find it because there was a bomb scare. It

844
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:39,040
Speaker 2: ended up being not an issue, but there was a

845
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 2: bomb there, so two fighter jets were flying alongside it

846
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 2: to escort it to Rome. Now, how would you feel

847
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 2: if you had a window seat and you see two

848
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 2: fighter jets that are escorting you because there's a supposed

849
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:54,440
Speaker 2: bomb on board that may go off.

850
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure they didn't tell anybody why they were diverted, right.

851
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 2: I don't know. More scary? Why do I have these

852
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:03,839
Speaker 2: fighter jets? Are they all?

853
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 1: The first thing I would think is terrorism? There's something happening. Yeah,

854
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:11,920
Speaker 1: that would probably scare me a little.

855
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 2: I think that's the hell out of me.

856
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I could see that and that that kind of

857
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 1: reminds me of a fear that I just remembered I

858
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 1: had recently recently, as I want to say six years ago,

859
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:29,759
Speaker 1: I went mountain biking to Big Bear and I hadn't

860
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 1: been there in a while. And you know, when you're

861
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,879
Speaker 1: skiing and you get on the lift and you look down,

862
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:38,239
Speaker 1: everything's white, so there's no real perception of death or

863
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 1: height or anything like that. But when you're on a

864
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:44,800
Speaker 1: dry land and you're on this chair and you look down,

865
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 1: it's pretty far. And for some reason I started getting scared,

866
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 1: like panic attack scared, and I'm like, what is wrong

867
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 1: with me? I'd never ever been afraid of heights. In fact,

868
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 1: I love heights. I love going to the tallest building

869
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 1: in the world and looking down to me, that's that's

870
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:06,439
Speaker 1: just powerful, it feels it makes me feel confident. Why

871
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 1: am I afraid of this right now?

872
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 2: Well, it sounds like you're you came across the stair

873
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:16,600
Speaker 2: because you were thinking about falling. You're thinking, if I fell,

874
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 2: I canfue I fall this far, there's trees or whatever,

875
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 2: there's rocks, and yeah, bring yourself falling, and then yeah,

876
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 2: hell yeah, that's scary.

877
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 1: And of course the why is is it because I'm

878
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 1: getting older that I'm starting to fear these things? Is

879
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 1: this going to start happening with other things? Because I

880
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 1: don't like to be scared, and if I am scared,

881
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:40,440
Speaker 1: I try to flip it and use it as energy

882
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 1: to get over the fear. Right. So that's kind of

883
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:46,439
Speaker 1: why sometimes I say I thrive on fear, the fear

884
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 1: of failure. I will push myself to the edge as

885
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 1: hard as I can, so I don't fear the fear

886
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:54,919
Speaker 1: of pain. You know, I will figure out a way

887
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:58,120
Speaker 1: around it or even push through the pain because I

888
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 1: know on the other side of that is no pain. Right.

889
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:02,880
Speaker 1: So maybe that's just the way I'm wired.

890
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:06,840
Speaker 2: But well, certainly a quality that you should embrace. But

891
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:08,879
Speaker 2: when you're on a chair lift, what could you do

892
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 2: to the fears you're kind of not so, Yeah, it's

893
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 2: understandable that maybe you felt I don't have control, I

894
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:21,000
Speaker 2: could fall. There's nothing I can do about it, right,

895
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:24,120
Speaker 2: I can't step away. I can't. I can't, you know,

896
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 2: secure myself any further in any way.

897
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:30,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, But the complicated part is I've never ever had

898
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,120
Speaker 1: that fear because I've been I've done that that the

899
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:36,400
Speaker 1: chairlifts on on the summer, riding my mountain bikes in

900
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 1: various places, and I've never ever been afraid to.

901
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 2: Get sweats or shaky or anything, or I.

902
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 1: Got little scared. I got shaky, Yeah, like stop looking

903
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:48,879
Speaker 1: down kind of thing, where like normally I'm looking at

904
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,520
Speaker 1: for fear enjoy.

905
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:53,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, have you been on that lift since I have?

906
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 1: I have. Again, It's one of those things that it

907
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:57,720
Speaker 1: scares me, but I'm going to keep doing it until

908
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 1: I'm no longer scared. And it worked and I think

909
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:02,879
Speaker 1: I ended up getting like three or four runs that day.

910
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 1: But it was just a weird feeling to think, how

911
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 1: forty fifty years later am I feeling fear. I shouldn't

912
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 1: be fearing fear. I mean, this is just the way

913
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 1: I handle fear, you know, I thrive on it sometimes

914
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:22,319
Speaker 1: and I don't like it to debilitate me, so I

915
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:23,720
Speaker 1: try to convert it to energy.

916
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 2: Well, that's interesting. You know what's interesting would be a

917
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:30,000
Speaker 2: statistic on how many people actually suffer death from the

918
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 2: thing they feared the most. Right, It's probably very little. Right,

919
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 2: Like I might be scared of a bear my whole

920
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 2: life and I never come across one. I never so

921
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:42,240
Speaker 2: what so I wasted whatever time it was being scared

922
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 2: of a bear or fear of flying. But you know,

923
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,440
Speaker 2: you could spend your whole life being scared of flying,

924
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:52,400
Speaker 2: but you never really have an airline crash on you

925
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,920
Speaker 2: so right, you know, it's like we're scared for I

926
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:57,839
Speaker 2: guess you could say no reason when there's probably things

927
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 2: that were not fearful of that are actually going to

928
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 2: cause us some harm.

929
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, fear debilitates a lot of people from living their life,

930
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,879
Speaker 1: you know, fear of you know, when you start a business,

931
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:21,160
Speaker 1: like you're afraid to start a business because you're afraid

932
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 1: that you're going to fail. And you don't start a

933
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 1: relationship because you're afraid you're going to get hurt. You

934
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,719
Speaker 1: don't have kids because you're afraid you're not going to

935
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 1: be able to afford them, and you know, various things

936
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 1: like that. Do you do you fear love at all?

937
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:39,600
Speaker 1: Have you ever been afraid to fall in love?

938
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 2: No? I don't. I don't think I can. I know

939
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 2: I never really thought enough about love to be scared

940
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:53,440
Speaker 2: of it. I never really did, I mean, I guess yeah, no, No.

941
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 2: The fear as far as family goes, The fear of

942
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:59,080
Speaker 2: my children is worry that they will grow up with

943
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:03,399
Speaker 2: trouble or difficulties, or they might have their own addictions

944
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 2: or things that are you know, you know, prevent them

945
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:10,760
Speaker 2: from living a life of you know, comfortable life, that

946
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:14,439
Speaker 2: would be it. I don't fear, you know, falling in love.

947
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:18,200
Speaker 2: I guess I do have concerns that Emily would. You know,

948
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:20,800
Speaker 2: if Emily and I were to part ways, I certainly

949
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 2: wouldn't like that, so I wouldn't do everything I could

950
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:26,800
Speaker 2: prevent that from happening. I know, coming on the show,

951
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 2: Emily joining the Housewives, I guess you could say I

952
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 2: had fear of that because you know, statistically and historically

953
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:38,839
Speaker 2: you see families fall apart on the show. Whether it's

954
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:41,400
Speaker 2: coincidence or the show or how they handle it, I

955
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:45,879
Speaker 2: can't say, but it does happen. My concern was for

956
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:50,080
Speaker 2: her to then maybe take her life in a different direction,

957
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:55,680
Speaker 2: you know, I'm better than this, or getting a big head,

958
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 2: or wanting to be gone so much to pursue whatever

959
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 2: opportunity to come her way that she wouldn't be around

960
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 2: us anymore. Yeah, those were my concerns, and I did

961
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:09,360
Speaker 2: express that to her, and that was that was my

962
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:13,919
Speaker 2: main concern about the show, was family unit. And I'm

963
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:16,560
Speaker 2: very glad that that didn't end up being the case.

964
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:20,880
Speaker 2: And it certainly didn't stop me from allowing it didn't.

965
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 2: It didn't cause me to prevent Emily from being on

966
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,840
Speaker 2: the show, nor could I write I mean that she

967
00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 2: make that decision for her solely. But that was a

968
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:35,440
Speaker 2: very big worrisome for me. And that's why the first

969
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:39,799
Speaker 2: couple of years I wasn't very comfortable on camera. Wasn't

970
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,160
Speaker 2: because of the camera, was because I was just really

971
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 2: on edge about where is this going to go?

972
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 1: Right? That makes sense, and that that was it.

973
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:52,399
Speaker 2: And then fortunately we've overcome that and realized that that's

974
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:56,400
Speaker 2: not the case, and so you know, we're able to

975
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 2: navigate her being on the show and being a part

976
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:03,640
Speaker 2: of all the ladies and everything, you know, during this time.

977
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:06,360
Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean, if anything, it's made us stronger

978
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:09,279
Speaker 2: because we've worked together on how how to navigate this,

979
00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:12,360
Speaker 2: how to navigate her schedule, the opportunities that come our away,

980
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 2: how do we work, what parts do we team up on,

981
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:16,240
Speaker 2: what parts are just for you?

982
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I could see that, and I think

983
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:26,000
Speaker 1: when we first got together, my wife and I, the

984
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 1: camera didn't scare me. I think I remember talking to

985
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 1: you about taking acting classes when I was younger, so

986
00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:39,080
Speaker 1: cameras weren't totally you know, foreign, and they still kind

987
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 1: of put me.

988
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:44,280
Speaker 2: You know they're there. Yeah, you know they're there.

989
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 1: Now, I know they're there. But in the beginning, I

990
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:50,920
Speaker 1: don't know if I remember telling you this, but well,

991
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:55,839
Speaker 1: first time we ever filmed, I was all gonna ready

992
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 1: to go. I'm like, I could do this. I've been

993
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 1: on camera before, you know this. It's going to be

994
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 1: easy and just be myself. How hard can that be?

995
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:08,800
Speaker 1: And it wasn't until the production walked into the house

996
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:12,520
Speaker 1: and they all introduced themselves very nice, and then suddenly

997
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:15,200
Speaker 1: these big ass cameras walked in and I looked at

998
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 1: it and I turned white. My wife said, I backed

999
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 1: myself against the wall and I said, I can't do this.

1000
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:21,920
Speaker 2: It became real at that point.

1001
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:25,279
Speaker 1: I guess it became real and I just remembered I

1002
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 1: was actually afraid. And of course, seven shots of tequila

1003
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,200
Speaker 1: later and I think half a bottle of wine that

1004
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:34,160
Speaker 1: took away all the fear, and I did stupid shit.

1005
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 1: That was the very first time we ever filmed where

1006
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 1: we did the tub scene. I don't know if you

1007
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:41,520
Speaker 1: remember the tubs. Yeah, it was just I mean, where

1008
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:44,920
Speaker 1: do you go from there? Right? But that's a moment

1009
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:49,360
Speaker 1: I was I was actually afraid of when when I

1010
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:52,800
Speaker 1: first got on the show, Yeah I was afraid.

1011
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:55,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know, there's I don't think. I don't

1012
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,480
Speaker 2: think if anyone said they weren't afraid to be on

1013
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:00,719
Speaker 2: a show, I don't know if I would believe them.

1014
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:03,919
Speaker 2: There might be different levels of concern and worries them

1015
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 2: in fear, you know, fear how they look on TV.

1016
00:54:07,239 --> 00:54:09,239
Speaker 2: Fear if they are going to get along, if they're

1017
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 2: going to be liked or hated. There's got I mean,

1018
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,839
Speaker 2: no one can say that it's jump in and got

1019
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:16,080
Speaker 2: no problems with it.

1020
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:20,480
Speaker 1: I think ultimately though, it's how you handle them right,

1021
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:24,880
Speaker 1: how you handle fear, because it's it's up there with jealousy.

1022
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 1: Jealousy is an emotional feeling, irrational emotional feeling that sometimes

1023
00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 1: can you know, be quantified. If your wife or your partners,

1024
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 1: you know, flirting or something, or trying to make you

1025
00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:40,520
Speaker 1: jealous so that they like you more. I guess it's

1026
00:54:40,520 --> 00:54:45,000
Speaker 1: a manipulation tool. But when I was young, I made

1027
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:50,440
Speaker 1: a determination that I am not going to let jealousy

1028
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 1: get the best of me. And I have thought even

1029
00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:54,879
Speaker 1: if I am jealous, I'm not going to show it

1030
00:54:55,080 --> 00:55:00,160
Speaker 1: because it's just going to produce negative emotions and negative results.

1031
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 2: Experience some jealousy, and then it was then that you

1032
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 2: realize what you were experiencing, and so you made that

1033
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:08,319
Speaker 2: effort to, you know, stay away from that.

1034
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:11,399
Speaker 1: I think so which which goes along in the same

1035
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,880
Speaker 1: lines as fear, you know, And I don't know how

1036
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:17,560
Speaker 1: old I was when I finally realized fear is stabilitating

1037
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 1: and if you let it cripple you, you're not going

1038
00:55:20,719 --> 00:55:23,840
Speaker 1: to do anything in life, or experience anything in life,

1039
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 1: or really live life. You know, I sense I see

1040
00:55:27,239 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 1: fear as a limitation for people that just absolutely sometimes

1041
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:34,200
Speaker 1: it's justifiable. You know, Let's say you had a traumatic

1042
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:37,920
Speaker 1: experience when you were young. This is this is probably

1043
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:41,080
Speaker 1: a terrible example, but let's say you were molested when

1044
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:45,000
Speaker 1: you were young, you know, continually molested, and it becomes

1045
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,360
Speaker 1: sort of a normal thing, and then you grow up

1046
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:50,239
Speaker 1: as an adult and you become a pedophile because of

1047
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 1: what happened to you, and you think it's normal when

1048
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 1: in reality it's it's not a normal thing, and society

1049
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:58,840
Speaker 1: is not going to accept that. But do you fear

1050
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:01,120
Speaker 1: that society is not accept it, or do you fear

1051
00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 1: that you're going to get caught? Go to jail.

1052
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:04,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is it?

1053
00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:04,799
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1054
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:08,240
Speaker 2: I guess fear would be acceptable if it's for your

1055
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:13,120
Speaker 2: own safety, right, So it's fear of you know, like

1056
00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:16,400
Speaker 2: in your example of maybe growing up in an unfortunate

1057
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:19,279
Speaker 2: household where there's abuse, So now you're prospective of your

1058
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:22,399
Speaker 2: just your safety. Yeah, so I'm going to stay away

1059
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:25,359
Speaker 2: from this type of person because I've experienced that they

1060
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:30,279
Speaker 2: hurt me physically or they harm my lifestop right, not

1061
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:32,400
Speaker 2: just they hurt my feelings so they said something rude,

1062
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:37,000
Speaker 2: but they actually debilitate me from living a life. Right,

1063
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:39,920
Speaker 2: So yeah, you know, speaking of fear, though, we have

1064
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:44,520
Speaker 2: a we had we have a foster dog and uh,

1065
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:47,719
Speaker 2: which I imagine will not be a foster dog. But for

1066
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 2: now I'm like, I'm like, he's trying to sell me

1067
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:51,719
Speaker 2: on it being a foster on. It's our third dog

1068
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:54,240
Speaker 2: that we have right now. Oh my gosh, very very

1069
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:59,680
Speaker 2: scared of everything. Okay, six months old. We believe never really,

1070
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:04,480
Speaker 2: I'm guessing based on her behavior, never experienced human interaction,

1071
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:07,840
Speaker 2: at least good human interaction with you know, compassion and whatnot.

1072
00:57:08,640 --> 00:57:11,760
Speaker 2: And it's and she is always protecting herself. She's running

1073
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:14,400
Speaker 2: away from me. She never turns her back on me

1074
00:57:14,719 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 2: or Emily. She's stopping up to Emily now. But she's

1075
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:21,400
Speaker 2: very fearful and and it's it's natural for her, right

1076
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 2: because she's experienced things that might cause her harm and

1077
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 2: injury and death. So she's doing what she can to

1078
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 2: stay alive. It's right, it's just survival. So it's it's

1079
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:35,960
Speaker 2: based on her experiences. And there's no doubt in my

1080
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 2: mind that she's just trying to stay alive, right, not

1081
00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 2: that she's you know, a whim right whatever, experienced abuse

1082
00:57:43,880 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 2: or whatever it was. She's trying to stay alive. And

1083
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:48,720
Speaker 2: so I guess humans can you know, if we're if

1084
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 2: I've experienced, you know, being injured by a weapon, and

1085
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 2: so now I choose to stay away from that weapon. Yeah,

1086
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:57,840
Speaker 2: that's be pretty valid.

1087
00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 1: That's yeah, that's that is valid. Yeah, going back to love,

1088
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,320
Speaker 1: which is kind of along the same lines of what

1089
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 1: we were just talking about. For me, I think I

1090
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,960
Speaker 1: fell in love for the first time as a teenager,

1091
00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:19,560
Speaker 1: my first girlfriend. I was madly in love and I

1092
00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:22,640
Speaker 1: was afraid, you know, because growing up to me, love

1093
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 1: was so important and so valuable and so sentimental and

1094
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:30,960
Speaker 1: you just cannot fall in love with just anybody, right,

1095
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:33,680
Speaker 1: it's like marrying. You can't just marry anybody. You got

1096
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 1: to marry somebody that you can spend the rest of

1097
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:39,080
Speaker 1: your life with, or somebody that you love. So when

1098
00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 1: I fell in love, it was it was awesome. I

1099
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:45,720
Speaker 1: thought she was going to be the one for the

1100
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:46,640
Speaker 1: rest of my life.

1101
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:48,040
Speaker 2: And what.

1102
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 1: It wasn't a fear. It wasn't a fear. But when

1103
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 1: she broke up and we broke up, the pain was

1104
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 1: so deep and so emotional and so detrimental that I

1105
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:01,920
Speaker 1: said that I am never falling in love again.

1106
00:59:02,080 --> 00:59:02,480
Speaker 2: Wow.

1107
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:06,240
Speaker 1: And it took seven years for me to finally fall

1108
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:09,040
Speaker 1: in love again, fell in love with this beautiful woman

1109
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:14,720
Speaker 1: that just was everything that I know ever wanted. And unfortunately,

1110
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:19,720
Speaker 1: five years later that relationship ended and again debilitating. I

1111
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 1: couldn't leave the house for three days. I was in

1112
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:27,120
Speaker 1: the fetal position and I cried, and it was the

1113
00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:32,400
Speaker 1: hardest pain I've experienced next to my broken collarbone.

1114
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 2: And then and how did you overcome either of those?

1115
00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:40,480
Speaker 1: I think, Well, my dad, you know one thing I'll

1116
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 1: never forget he said during that time, was just get

1117
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:45,680
Speaker 1: up and put one foot in front of the other.

1118
00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:49,640
Speaker 1: And you will get past it. And it took time. Yeah,

1119
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:53,200
Speaker 1: it definitely took time. But again the second time, I

1120
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 1: was heartbroken, devastated. I said, I'm never falling in love again.

1121
00:59:59,320 --> 01:00:01,880
Speaker 1: But I it was in my probably my mid twenties

1122
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:05,680
Speaker 1: at the time, and I decided, you know what, I'm

1123
01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 1: not going to look for love anymore. I'm just going

1124
01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:11,640
Speaker 1: to be partying, having a good time, working.

1125
01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:13,680
Speaker 2: And take care of yourself kind of thing.

1126
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 1: Care of myself.

1127
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 2: You won't bring anyone in your little circle.

1128
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I fell in love again and it

1129
01:00:19,760 --> 01:00:22,560
Speaker 1: wasn't deep love, but it was sort of like I

1130
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:25,200
Speaker 1: don't know if I is the right person, you know.

1131
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:30,240
Speaker 1: And even though I didn't fall in love with her,

1132
01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:33,880
Speaker 1: I introduced her to all my friends, especially the very

1133
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:37,560
Speaker 1: critical ones that you know, just protect me, and they

1134
01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:41,160
Speaker 1: loved her. They said she's amazing, she's so different, she's awesome.

1135
01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:44,280
Speaker 1: And I ended up marrying her. The night before I

1136
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:47,480
Speaker 1: was freaking out and just like, am I doing the

1137
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:50,280
Speaker 1: right thing? I don't know. I was literally sitting on

1138
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:53,880
Speaker 1: the floor just contemplating my life, and she came to me,

1139
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:55,280
Speaker 1: She's like, are you sure you want to do this?

1140
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 2: Like, I don't know? When everyone wants to hear.

1141
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:05,680
Speaker 1: And of course that didn't last very long. And then

1142
01:01:06,040 --> 01:01:08,960
Speaker 1: when I met Tiamra, it was one of those things

1143
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,160
Speaker 1: like that's it. I'm not falling in love, not falling

1144
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:13,160
Speaker 1: forward again. I'm just gonna have a good time. And

1145
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:19,680
Speaker 1: the chemistry was there. What I think I experienced the

1146
01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:22,720
Speaker 1: very first time I saw her was love at first sight,

1147
01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:27,439
Speaker 1: but I wasn't ready to let it happen. But when

1148
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:30,400
Speaker 1: I saw her, I saw birds, I saw stars, I

1149
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 1: saw out all these tingly feelings in my body, but

1150
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:37,840
Speaker 1: I did everything I could to suppress it because I

1151
01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:40,960
Speaker 1: didn't want to be vulnerable like that again. Right. And

1152
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,320
Speaker 1: the other part of it is she was married at

1153
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:45,960
Speaker 1: the time, So why am I going to pursue something

1154
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,640
Speaker 1: that I'm not gonna, you know, be able to have?

1155
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:52,360
Speaker 1: But why am I getting these feelings? It was such

1156
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:57,200
Speaker 1: a weird situation. And it wasn't until not even you know,

1157
01:01:57,240 --> 01:01:59,040
Speaker 1: when she left her husband and we went on a

1158
01:01:59,080 --> 01:02:04,840
Speaker 1: first date. It was probably just before, like a month

1159
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:07,760
Speaker 1: before we got married, you know, leading up to it,

1160
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:10,920
Speaker 1: planning and everything. You know, It's about a year of

1161
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:13,120
Speaker 1: all that and I'm just going through the motions. I'm

1162
01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:16,400
Speaker 1: like yeah, I guess I'm getting married. But I think

1163
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:18,560
Speaker 1: it was when I was sitting at the altar looking

1164
01:02:18,600 --> 01:02:21,800
Speaker 1: at her that it hit me like, holy shit, I'm

1165
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:27,480
Speaker 1: in love. This is happening. And what I've experienced in

1166
01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:32,520
Speaker 1: my life at the end of the day is I'd

1167
01:02:32,600 --> 01:02:37,320
Speaker 1: rather be in love and feel the pain of breaking

1168
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:42,120
Speaker 1: up than never ever feeling love. Because what I know

1169
01:02:42,280 --> 01:02:45,640
Speaker 1: now in my fifties is even today, my love just

1170
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:49,280
Speaker 1: gets getting deeper and deeper with Tama. The more time

1171
01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:51,960
Speaker 1: I spend with her, the more challenges we have with life,

1172
01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:55,480
Speaker 1: and the more things we experienced together, It's bringing me

1173
01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 1: deeper and deeper connected with her. Where I'm getting back,

1174
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:02,000
Speaker 1: I think, close to that level of love when I

1175
01:03:02,040 --> 01:03:04,160
Speaker 1: first experienced it as a teenager, where I thought like

1176
01:03:05,440 --> 01:03:07,440
Speaker 1: I found that this is the greatest feeling in my

1177
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:08,280
Speaker 1: life and.

1178
01:03:08,360 --> 01:03:12,720
Speaker 2: Right you're completely fulfilled and everything's great. Yeah.

1179
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:17,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm there now, but it took a while

1180
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:21,120
Speaker 1: to get there, which is the interesting journey for me,

1181
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:24,920
Speaker 1: Like I'm not afraid to fall in love, but I

1182
01:03:25,640 --> 01:03:28,160
Speaker 1: was afraid when I was younger because it was so painful,

1183
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:31,600
Speaker 1: and there was a period of seven years between love

1184
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:33,880
Speaker 1: and another period of five years between love and then this

1185
01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:38,120
Speaker 1: one was maybe fifteen years where I started feeling like, Okay,

1186
01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:41,480
Speaker 1: I can trust this person. I can open up to

1187
01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:43,600
Speaker 1: this person and give my heart and be vulnerable and

1188
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:46,360
Speaker 1: talk to her and you know, share her, you know,

1189
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:50,160
Speaker 1: with her what really scares me and what I really

1190
01:03:50,200 --> 01:03:53,520
Speaker 1: want to accomplish in life. And I say that because

1191
01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:57,280
Speaker 1: you know, there's this this stereo type. But men being men,

1192
01:03:57,440 --> 01:03:59,760
Speaker 1: men are not supposed to be afraid of anything.

1193
01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:01,919
Speaker 2: You're not allowed to cry. You're not cry.

1194
01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:04,400
Speaker 1: You're not supposed to cry. You're not supposed to be afraid.

1195
01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:06,240
Speaker 1: You're not supposed to be vulnerable. What are you? What

1196
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,960
Speaker 1: are your thoughts on that? Do you agree or disagree? No?

1197
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 2: I agree? You know we talked to earlier. You know,

1198
01:04:13,160 --> 01:04:15,040
Speaker 2: you tell the little kid to walk it off, get

1199
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:17,760
Speaker 2: back on your bike and go, you're fine, tough it

1200
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:20,760
Speaker 2: out right, and then the girl don't. We don't generally speaking,

1201
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:23,280
Speaker 2: we don't say that, we put a band aid on it.

1202
01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:28,200
Speaker 2: We hug them, you know. In that so it's understandable

1203
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:30,480
Speaker 2: that you would grow up not you, you, but men

1204
01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:32,919
Speaker 2: in general would grow up thinking we're not supposed to cry,

1205
01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 2: and women won't like that, right, if I sit there

1206
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:38,840
Speaker 2: and cry on my third date with whomever, I don't

1207
01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 2: think there's going to be a fourth date. Right, that's

1208
01:04:40,560 --> 01:04:44,160
Speaker 2: what we're thinking, Right, She's like, maybe that's not the case.

1209
01:04:44,400 --> 01:04:48,600
Speaker 2: But then that begs the question do our women taught that, Hey,

1210
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:53,720
Speaker 2: you know, men shouldn't be crying. He's weak. Yeah, so yeah,

1211
01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:57,760
Speaker 2: I don't know. You know, I was married prior and

1212
01:04:59,120 --> 01:05:04,200
Speaker 2: without finding she left, and she left and moved out

1213
01:05:04,240 --> 01:05:07,160
Speaker 2: of state and took my two kids. And it was

1214
01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:10,760
Speaker 2: heart breaking for you, Oh yeah, because I there was

1215
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:14,200
Speaker 2: no plan. It was just they were gone. It's different

1216
01:05:14,240 --> 01:05:16,440
Speaker 2: if it's hey, this is what I want my life,

1217
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 2: I'm going to leave you and I'm going to move there,

1218
01:05:18,520 --> 01:05:21,320
Speaker 2: and you know we figured it out. But that wasn't

1219
01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:25,520
Speaker 2: the case. It was they were gone, and that probably

1220
01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:29,240
Speaker 2: as we're talking about, this is probably what my worry

1221
01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:31,960
Speaker 2: was with the family unit when Emily got on the show.

1222
01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 2: Maybe I would have had that concern anyway, but I'm

1223
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:37,840
Speaker 2: sure I was thinking, I'm going to lose my kids again.

1224
01:05:38,400 --> 01:05:41,480
Speaker 2: Right if you move, you know, you leave me and

1225
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:43,600
Speaker 2: this and that the family breaks up. I'm not going

1226
01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:46,760
Speaker 2: to see my kids. Saying yeah, so that was you know,

1227
01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:49,960
Speaker 2: there's no doubt in my mind that that caused a

1228
01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:54,000
Speaker 2: lot of worry for me. With the family unit being

1229
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:57,200
Speaker 2: broken up again. It was it was a pretty bad experience,

1230
01:05:57,320 --> 01:05:59,600
Speaker 2: you know, at that time, and not seeing your kids

1231
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:01,480
Speaker 2: for a couple weeks, not knowing where they are and

1232
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:03,600
Speaker 2: trying to find them, and then and then having to

1233
01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:08,080
Speaker 2: transition back into that and so, yeah, you know, I

1234
01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:10,080
Speaker 2: and I know Emily and I have I mean, I

1235
01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:11,880
Speaker 2: don't think it's a secret. We've had times where we

1236
01:06:11,920 --> 01:06:14,120
Speaker 2: think we want to split up or this and that

1237
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:18,120
Speaker 2: because we're just in some heated moment, and then we

1238
01:06:18,320 --> 01:06:20,120
Speaker 2: both start to think, is this what we want? Do

1239
01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:22,480
Speaker 2: we We've been trade one set of problems for another,

1240
01:06:22,880 --> 01:06:25,240
Speaker 2: So do we want to lose our kids? We want

1241
01:06:25,280 --> 01:06:26,800
Speaker 2: to break up the family? And then we kind of

1242
01:06:26,840 --> 01:06:30,040
Speaker 2: come to terms. And I know, I'm a big believer

1243
01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:31,760
Speaker 2: in just kind of trying to work it out and

1244
01:06:31,840 --> 01:06:33,600
Speaker 2: keep the family together. And that might have to do

1245
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:35,240
Speaker 2: with what I've experienced before.

1246
01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:41,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you think the difference in your religion scared

1247
01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:45,920
Speaker 1: you getting into the that deep of religion of a

1248
01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:47,400
Speaker 1: relationship with Emily.

1249
01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:49,640
Speaker 2: A little bit? Because you know, you worry about being

1250
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:54,240
Speaker 2: judged or or you know, having different outlooks on life.

1251
01:06:54,280 --> 01:06:57,120
Speaker 2: But you know, fortunately, I think both of us have

1252
01:06:57,160 --> 01:06:59,480
Speaker 2: the same outlook on life, which is family is important,

1253
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:03,480
Speaker 2: family in it, and respecting each other and kind of

1254
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:06,120
Speaker 2: you know, living a you know, kind of a decent

1255
01:07:06,160 --> 01:07:12,240
Speaker 2: life and respecting one another's views. I know Emily, as

1256
01:07:12,240 --> 01:07:15,000
Speaker 2: she's gotten older, she's kind of softened up and become

1257
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:16,560
Speaker 2: a little bit you know, as we all should.

1258
01:07:17,280 --> 01:07:17,440
Speaker 1: Yea.

1259
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:23,360
Speaker 2: And so you know, it hasn't really caused any riffs

1260
01:07:23,360 --> 01:07:27,360
Speaker 2: in our relationship, that's for sure. Yeah, sometimes scheduling issues

1261
01:07:27,520 --> 01:07:29,360
Speaker 2: and things like that. You know, I go to church

1262
01:07:29,400 --> 01:07:32,120
Speaker 2: on Sundays. Sometimes she comes, sometimes she doesn't. I just

1263
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:36,360
Speaker 2: let her and I always take the kids. So you

1264
01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 2: know that that's a little awkward on those days because

1265
01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:43,880
Speaker 2: but but we respect each others, you know.

1266
01:07:44,640 --> 01:07:47,960
Speaker 1: I mean, that's that's super important in any relationship, is

1267
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:51,400
Speaker 1: to respect each other because once you lose that, you know,

1268
01:07:51,440 --> 01:07:54,040
Speaker 1: it's it's hard to come back to that. Let's talk

1269
01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:57,720
Speaker 1: a little bit about your experience and becoming a lawyer.

1270
01:07:57,800 --> 01:08:01,160
Speaker 1: I know you took the bar three times. Were you

1271
01:08:01,240 --> 01:08:03,400
Speaker 1: ever afraid that you weren't gonna make it or were

1272
01:08:03,480 --> 01:08:05,760
Speaker 1: you just determined Yeah, that.

1273
01:08:05,800 --> 01:08:08,440
Speaker 2: Was It was a little bit of both. You know,

1274
01:08:08,480 --> 01:08:11,000
Speaker 2: it was pretty determined, but I also was fearful that

1275
01:08:11,400 --> 01:08:16,120
Speaker 2: it would never happen. Not to blame, not to place

1276
01:08:16,160 --> 01:08:19,040
Speaker 2: blame elsewhere, But it was really tough while this show

1277
01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:22,599
Speaker 2: was going that I'm supposed to sit there and also

1278
01:08:23,640 --> 01:08:27,400
Speaker 2: juggle my older two kids and their schedules with their mother,

1279
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:32,640
Speaker 2: who which was not the easiest. So juggling that juggling

1280
01:08:33,320 --> 01:08:35,080
Speaker 2: you know what was she three or four year old

1281
01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:39,559
Speaker 2: daughter with you know, two year old twins. Yeah, and

1282
01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:44,360
Speaker 2: then my wife's were rigorous schedule and me having to

1283
01:08:44,479 --> 01:08:48,200
Speaker 2: quit my job and then prepare and finances, as we've

1284
01:08:48,280 --> 01:08:54,639
Speaker 2: talked about earlier, it was very hard on me. And

1285
01:08:56,920 --> 01:08:59,600
Speaker 2: so yeah, for that reason, I thought, I'm never going

1286
01:08:59,680 --> 01:09:04,800
Speaker 2: to pass because under these circumstances. Yeah, at least for me,

1287
01:09:05,240 --> 01:09:08,240
Speaker 2: under these circumstances, it's not going to happen.

1288
01:09:08,360 --> 01:09:11,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's like looking at Mount Whitney and going,

1289
01:09:11,040 --> 01:09:12,360
Speaker 1: how the hell am I going to do this?

1290
01:09:12,840 --> 01:09:15,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, unless I'm going to do something different, which is

1291
01:09:15,200 --> 01:09:17,519
Speaker 2: all those factors. Unless I remove some of those, like

1292
01:09:17,640 --> 01:09:19,559
Speaker 2: you know, Emily's at home all the time, or our

1293
01:09:19,560 --> 01:09:22,799
Speaker 2: finances are in order, or the mother my older two children,

1294
01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:25,320
Speaker 2: was more cooperative, like then what might have been eating?

1295
01:09:25,320 --> 01:09:27,240
Speaker 2: But I was like, nothing's changing. I'm still going to

1296
01:09:27,320 --> 01:09:30,960
Speaker 2: go through this hellhole, you know. And Emily's sit in there,

1297
01:09:31,040 --> 01:09:32,519
Speaker 2: you know, when I'm supposed to kind of a comedy

1298
01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:35,040
Speaker 2: in her schedule to take care of the kids. And

1299
01:09:34,800 --> 01:09:38,160
Speaker 2: and I'll blame on Emily. She was doing what she could.

1300
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:40,920
Speaker 2: But it was, Yeah, it was very worrisome that I

1301
01:09:41,120 --> 01:09:42,680
Speaker 2: would never pass. And I'm just going to be this

1302
01:09:42,760 --> 01:09:45,880
Speaker 2: endless you know, I'm in this endless pursuit of getting

1303
01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:47,960
Speaker 2: a bar license and it never happened. I had one

1304
01:09:47,960 --> 01:09:50,559
Speaker 2: in Utah, but I didn't have one in California. So

1305
01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:54,280
Speaker 2: it was it was And the other fear was embarrassment. Sure,

1306
01:09:54,320 --> 01:09:57,680
Speaker 2: there's away embarrassment, you know, being in feeling inferior. You know,

1307
01:09:57,760 --> 01:09:59,880
Speaker 2: there's people that have been in worse conditions in my

1308
01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:03,360
Speaker 2: that pass, right, so it can be done, and here

1309
01:10:03,400 --> 01:10:05,040
Speaker 2: I am not being able to do it.

1310
01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:09,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but you did it. Yeah, And and what

1311
01:10:09,720 --> 01:10:13,080
Speaker 1: do you think contributed the most for you to accomplish

1312
01:10:13,120 --> 01:10:14,360
Speaker 1: that goal to pass the bar?

1313
01:10:15,920 --> 01:10:22,960
Speaker 2: You know, it was it was just kept putting to

1314
01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:25,240
Speaker 2: you know, I'll be honest, I don't think I did

1315
01:10:25,280 --> 01:10:28,280
Speaker 2: anything different as I should have. I was really first

1316
01:10:28,280 --> 01:10:30,080
Speaker 2: of all, it was quite a while ago, so so

1317
01:10:30,280 --> 01:10:33,200
Speaker 2: my memory is a little vague, but it was just,

1318
01:10:34,960 --> 01:10:40,080
Speaker 2: you know, they did change the the the guidelines of

1319
01:10:40,120 --> 01:10:43,679
Speaker 2: the bar exam, which kind of worked in my favor

1320
01:10:44,280 --> 01:10:46,680
Speaker 2: as much as you know, I don't want to say that,

1321
01:10:46,720 --> 01:10:48,840
Speaker 2: but it did work in my favor. So that kind

1322
01:10:48,840 --> 01:10:51,559
Speaker 2: of gave me the little edge I needed. I'm pretty

1323
01:10:51,560 --> 01:10:54,160
Speaker 2: certain I would have eventually passed, but nonetheless that that's

1324
01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:57,599
Speaker 2: where I was. So it was it was a scary time.

1325
01:10:57,680 --> 01:10:58,679
Speaker 2: It was a scary time.

1326
01:10:59,120 --> 01:11:02,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've you. I always thought about this when I

1327
01:11:02,720 --> 01:11:05,960
Speaker 1: was working with my dad, like the fear of going

1328
01:11:05,960 --> 01:11:07,320
Speaker 1: to court. Do you go to court a lot?

1329
01:11:07,560 --> 01:11:09,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I didn't hear that. I have a

1330
01:11:09,360 --> 01:11:13,400
Speaker 2: fear in terms of just doing well. Yeah, we're doing

1331
01:11:13,439 --> 01:11:16,080
Speaker 2: well for the client, doing well for for the owner

1332
01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:18,800
Speaker 2: of the law firm. Yeah. But I'm not scared in

1333
01:11:18,800 --> 01:11:20,640
Speaker 2: front of a judge, because.

1334
01:11:20,320 --> 01:11:22,640
Speaker 1: Were you though the very first time? Thank you the

1335
01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:23,280
Speaker 1: first case.

1336
01:11:23,400 --> 01:11:26,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I could, I could. I was nervous. I was

1337
01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:29,519
Speaker 2: practicing in Utah and I was thrown in judges all

1338
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:32,880
Speaker 2: the time. Oh, that's right, okay, but it was it

1339
01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:36,880
Speaker 2: was I was nervous yacause you know, you feel people

1340
01:11:36,920 --> 01:11:38,599
Speaker 2: are looking at you and now you're going to look

1341
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:40,479
Speaker 2: like a beginner. You don't know what you're doing, you know,

1342
01:11:40,520 --> 01:11:43,240
Speaker 2: you don't know the proper terminology, right, and you sound

1343
01:11:43,280 --> 01:11:47,000
Speaker 2: like an idiot. That was a concern, But in front

1344
01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:49,360
Speaker 2: of it, because of the judge, I was not scared. Now,

1345
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:53,280
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, there're people so yeah, they really are.

1346
01:11:53,439 --> 01:11:55,040
Speaker 1: Course, I know pretty.

1347
01:11:54,880 --> 01:11:57,679
Speaker 2: Much lawyers that don't want to be lawyers, right, don't

1348
01:11:57,680 --> 01:12:00,559
Speaker 2: they know better? And you know, have I been depart

1349
01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:04,200
Speaker 2: by judge in front of people? Absolutely? Really? Oh wow,

1350
01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:08,080
Speaker 2: I think everyone has. Absolutely. Yeah, And that's more embarrassing

1351
01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:12,559
Speaker 2: than it's fearful. That for me, that's embarrassing. And that's

1352
01:12:12,600 --> 01:12:16,559
Speaker 2: like sister, she's overcome it, but she I think she

1353
01:12:16,600 --> 01:12:19,599
Speaker 2: would even vomit before she went before a judge. Oh

1354
01:12:19,800 --> 01:12:22,760
Speaker 2: really really scared. Yeah, but she also would admit it.

1355
01:12:22,800 --> 01:12:27,120
Speaker 2: She wasn't hiding. Yeah, And but I don't know what happened.

1356
01:12:27,160 --> 01:12:28,639
Speaker 2: Then a few years go by, you know, we kind

1357
01:12:28,640 --> 01:12:30,599
Speaker 2: of you know, she's doing her thing, I'm doing mine,

1358
01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:32,360
Speaker 2: and I don't really connect with her on that level.

1359
01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:33,639
Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden, I realized, Oh, she's

1360
01:12:33,680 --> 01:12:36,960
Speaker 2: going to court and she seems fine. She's picking court calls,

1361
01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:40,200
Speaker 2: she's doing it online, she's going in person, so she

1362
01:12:40,439 --> 01:12:42,680
Speaker 2: overcame it somehow. I should find out how she did that.

1363
01:12:43,320 --> 01:12:47,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting times. My neighbor's an attorney as well,

1364
01:12:47,920 --> 01:12:52,400
Speaker 1: and I see a lot of him, you know, during

1365
01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:54,240
Speaker 1: the day, you know, because I have a pretty easy schedule.

1366
01:12:55,040 --> 01:12:57,240
Speaker 1: And I asked him recently, like, didn't you go to

1367
01:12:57,240 --> 01:12:59,519
Speaker 1: court anymore? It's like, zoom, I don't even have to

1368
01:12:59,520 --> 01:13:05,519
Speaker 1: get us anymore. That would take fear completely away. Like

1369
01:13:06,320 --> 01:13:10,800
Speaker 1: just the thought of being in chambers and fighting, you know,

1370
01:13:10,840 --> 01:13:14,160
Speaker 1: with the opponent and talking to a judge that scares me,

1371
01:13:14,560 --> 01:13:17,360
Speaker 1: like that would drive me. It spins my head. But

1372
01:13:17,479 --> 01:13:20,000
Speaker 1: I also see that, you know, once you've done that

1373
01:13:20,040 --> 01:13:24,400
Speaker 1: a few times, like anything else, you become very proficient

1374
01:13:24,439 --> 01:13:26,519
Speaker 1: at it and the fear goes away and now you

1375
01:13:26,560 --> 01:13:30,080
Speaker 1: know what you're saying doing And that just takes practice, right,

1376
01:13:30,320 --> 01:13:31,400
Speaker 1: practicing law right.

1377
01:13:31,479 --> 01:13:34,400
Speaker 2: Well, they always say you fear what you don't know, right, Yeah,

1378
01:13:34,439 --> 01:13:37,200
Speaker 2: So if you've been there, you've experienced it many times.

1379
01:13:37,240 --> 01:13:40,320
Speaker 2: You've ridden your bike on the freeway many times. Now

1380
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:43,160
Speaker 2: it's no longer an unknown to worry about.

1381
01:13:43,960 --> 01:13:49,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. So speaking of do you, did you ever fear

1382
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:52,240
Speaker 1: being a lawyer or was that just something you always

1383
01:13:52,280 --> 01:13:52,760
Speaker 1: wanted to do?

1384
01:13:54,400 --> 01:13:56,760
Speaker 2: Well? I kind of kind of went that direction because

1385
01:13:56,800 --> 01:14:01,400
Speaker 2: my parents would let me become a cop. Okay, Like literally,

1386
01:14:02,320 --> 01:14:05,520
Speaker 2: I interviewed, I took the exams, I took the physicals.

1387
01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:09,599
Speaker 2: I even got you know then as a you know,

1388
01:14:09,640 --> 01:14:13,639
Speaker 2: for PDI and Orange, and then I had to back out,

1389
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:17,240
Speaker 2: probably cut mostly because of my parents and you know,

1390
01:14:17,520 --> 01:14:20,400
Speaker 2: them having a worry and they were always scared and

1391
01:14:20,439 --> 01:14:22,360
Speaker 2: they didn't like it, and probably they want me sending

1392
01:14:22,439 --> 01:14:25,880
Speaker 2: in an office and YadA, YadA, YadA. Yeah, and you know,

1393
01:14:25,960 --> 01:14:28,600
Speaker 2: maybe if I really really wanted it, I should I

1394
01:14:28,640 --> 01:14:30,400
Speaker 2: could have done it, But you know, I made the

1395
01:14:30,479 --> 01:14:33,719
Speaker 2: choice to back out. So I was fearful of my mother.

1396
01:14:33,840 --> 01:14:34,720
Speaker 2: We could say.

1397
01:14:37,160 --> 01:14:37,920
Speaker 1: That's a big deal.

1398
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:42,200
Speaker 2: If if if in my profession, what was I fearful of?

1399
01:14:42,280 --> 01:14:46,040
Speaker 2: It would probably be being successful, you know, whole good job,

1400
01:14:46,560 --> 01:14:50,120
Speaker 2: earning more money every year doing them, not in front

1401
01:14:50,120 --> 01:14:51,960
Speaker 2: of the judge or in front of a client or

1402
01:14:52,080 --> 01:14:53,240
Speaker 2: co workers or anything.

1403
01:15:01,640 --> 01:15:06,280
Speaker 1: Were you at all concerned or afraid of starting that

1404
01:15:06,520 --> 01:15:11,040
Speaker 1: podcast with your wife. I think it's called Legally Brunette.

1405
01:15:11,280 --> 01:15:15,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, No, my wife is, I mean Emily Is.

1406
01:15:15,720 --> 01:15:18,280
Speaker 2: She loves that stuff. She could talk about it all

1407
01:15:18,400 --> 01:15:22,519
Speaker 2: day long. She she overworks to study those cases and

1408
01:15:22,680 --> 01:15:25,040
Speaker 2: learn the facts, you know, the interesting cases that are

1409
01:15:25,120 --> 01:15:28,559
Speaker 2: kind of you know, across the media, high profile. So

1410
01:15:28,680 --> 01:15:31,120
Speaker 2: I knew that she would take the lead on that,

1411
01:15:31,680 --> 01:15:34,799
Speaker 2: and I think she does really well. And my place

1412
01:15:34,840 --> 01:15:38,719
Speaker 2: in that I've learned was I'll just be the viewer

1413
01:15:38,800 --> 01:15:42,559
Speaker 2: that asks the questions, right, Okay, I'm asking the questions

1414
01:15:42,560 --> 01:15:44,680
Speaker 2: that the viewers want to know. So I go in

1415
01:15:45,320 --> 01:15:48,840
Speaker 2: she has more of the knowledge, and then I asked

1416
01:15:48,880 --> 01:15:52,679
Speaker 2: these lay term questions, right, and I answer those questions,

1417
01:15:52,760 --> 01:15:54,920
Speaker 2: and so we have a good connection that way. Here

1418
01:15:54,920 --> 01:15:57,720
Speaker 2: she is presenting the cases talking about them, and then

1419
01:15:57,760 --> 01:15:59,600
Speaker 2: I asked the questions on when I think is on

1420
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:02,599
Speaker 2: behalf of the viewers, because you know, you can get

1421
01:16:02,640 --> 01:16:05,519
Speaker 2: really legally in the way you talk, so it's kind

1422
01:16:05,520 --> 01:16:08,559
Speaker 2: of breaking her down. Yeah. So no, we do well

1423
01:16:08,560 --> 01:16:10,600
Speaker 2: with that, and that that's enjoyable for me.

1424
01:16:10,760 --> 01:16:12,760
Speaker 1: Awesome, awesome. How often do you do that?

1425
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:17,439
Speaker 2: It's twice a month. Yeah, we're doing twice a month

1426
01:16:17,560 --> 01:16:21,880
Speaker 2: and right now she's covering the Blake Lively and Baldoni case.

1427
01:16:22,520 --> 01:16:23,920
Speaker 2: That's a big one. I don't know if you know

1428
01:16:23,960 --> 01:16:26,080
Speaker 2: that one. I'm sure viewers do. That's a big one.

1429
01:16:26,600 --> 01:16:31,080
Speaker 2: There's some pr disputes and creative differences on the set

1430
01:16:31,080 --> 01:16:33,519
Speaker 2: of it ends with us, and so there's some sexual

1431
01:16:33,520 --> 01:16:37,599
Speaker 2: harassment allegations and things like that. It's getting pretty heated.

1432
01:16:37,640 --> 01:16:40,639
Speaker 2: I think with Blake Lively being such a big star,

1433
01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:44,360
Speaker 2: that's caught a lot of attention from people. The other

1434
01:16:44,439 --> 01:16:47,439
Speaker 2: case that she's doing that, we like to cover the

1435
01:16:47,520 --> 01:16:51,280
Speaker 2: Menendez trial. Okay, so she's doing that. I'm sure you've

1436
01:16:51,280 --> 01:16:52,000
Speaker 2: heard that one.

1437
01:16:52,200 --> 01:16:54,400
Speaker 1: I have. Yeah, there's a whole documentary on that.

1438
01:16:55,680 --> 01:16:58,600
Speaker 2: There's a lot of documentaries on that. So she's fascinated

1439
01:16:58,600 --> 01:17:01,439
Speaker 2: by that one because that is interesting. The case is

1440
01:17:01,479 --> 01:17:03,519
Speaker 2: where you know, you could kind of go either way.

1441
01:17:03,960 --> 01:17:06,519
Speaker 2: You do both points, and that's what makes it interesting

1442
01:17:06,560 --> 01:17:07,240
Speaker 2: to talk about.

1443
01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:12,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you fear it at all? About practicing law?

1444
01:17:14,920 --> 01:17:20,240
Speaker 2: I think disappointing clients. You know, clients, unfortunately, they naturally

1445
01:17:20,320 --> 01:17:23,400
Speaker 2: they come in with expectations, right, I'm going to win

1446
01:17:23,439 --> 01:17:27,760
Speaker 2: this case. I practice workers competations with people that get

1447
01:17:27,760 --> 01:17:31,080
Speaker 2: injured on the job. We represent the insurance companies and employers, right,

1448
01:17:31,520 --> 01:17:34,439
Speaker 2: so the injured worker gets injured, they have a right

1449
01:17:34,560 --> 01:17:37,240
Speaker 2: to file a claim because it's a no fault state,

1450
01:17:37,400 --> 01:17:41,400
Speaker 2: so the employers should cover their injuries at their work

1451
01:17:41,439 --> 01:17:44,000
Speaker 2: related right. So it's a right that they have and

1452
01:17:44,040 --> 01:17:47,280
Speaker 2: I support that. But we represent the insurance compani's employees.

1453
01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:49,920
Speaker 2: So you know a lot of times the employers will

1454
01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:52,560
Speaker 2: just without really knowing all the details, they think, no,

1455
01:17:52,720 --> 01:17:55,040
Speaker 2: this is this is no break. That guy's a jerk.

1456
01:17:55,080 --> 01:17:56,920
Speaker 2: He got hurt playing soccer on the weekend and not here.

1457
01:17:56,920 --> 01:17:58,200
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, but we got to go through this

1458
01:17:58,720 --> 01:18:01,400
Speaker 2: process to get that if that needs in the case.

1459
01:18:01,720 --> 01:18:05,479
Speaker 2: So disappointing clients is my concern, so I always try

1460
01:18:05,520 --> 01:18:10,080
Speaker 2: to give them realistic expectations. My very first case that

1461
01:18:10,120 --> 01:18:14,880
Speaker 2: I tried all by myself was an adoption case. So

1462
01:18:14,920 --> 01:18:17,840
Speaker 2: a family wanted to adopt the child and terminate the

1463
01:18:17,880 --> 01:18:19,480
Speaker 2: parental rights of the father.

1464
01:18:19,200 --> 01:18:21,160
Speaker 1: Who was an absence, which is really hard.

1465
01:18:21,720 --> 01:18:24,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's it's a tough one too, because you

1466
01:18:24,880 --> 01:18:30,120
Speaker 2: know the emotions involved. My fear in that case was

1467
01:18:30,479 --> 01:18:35,479
Speaker 2: not winning because this loving family and the stepfather who

1468
01:18:35,800 --> 01:18:40,000
Speaker 2: just did everything for this child, and was the father's

1469
01:18:40,040 --> 01:18:43,639
Speaker 2: as far as I was concerned, because the biological father

1470
01:18:43,800 --> 01:18:47,519
Speaker 2: was Mia, like truly Mia until the case services, and

1471
01:18:47,560 --> 01:18:49,160
Speaker 2: of course he wants to act like he's fathered the

1472
01:18:49,200 --> 01:18:52,800
Speaker 2: hear and stop everything. That was my fear was then

1473
01:18:52,840 --> 01:18:57,120
Speaker 2: this family leaving the courtroom not having the ability to

1474
01:18:57,160 --> 01:19:00,680
Speaker 2: adopt the child, and then now they can't bring up

1475
01:19:00,680 --> 01:19:03,800
Speaker 2: this case for a number of years. Yeah, and so

1476
01:19:03,880 --> 01:19:06,760
Speaker 2: now they're stuck in this position of now we have

1477
01:19:06,840 --> 01:19:09,200
Speaker 2: this biological father has been brought back into the life

1478
01:19:09,240 --> 01:19:12,439
Speaker 2: because of the lawsuit, and now he's causing havoc in

1479
01:19:12,520 --> 01:19:16,960
Speaker 2: our household. And that was I was terrified that I

1480
01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:19,160
Speaker 2: would lose this case. That was all on me there,

1481
01:19:19,160 --> 01:19:21,639
Speaker 2: I had no partners. I was working by myself, all

1482
01:19:21,720 --> 01:19:24,679
Speaker 2: on me, and you know, and I had never tried

1483
01:19:24,680 --> 01:19:27,360
Speaker 2: a case before. So I'm up there putting witnesses on

1484
01:19:27,400 --> 01:19:30,160
Speaker 2: the stand, asking questions, doing all this stuff, trying to

1485
01:19:30,160 --> 01:19:32,920
Speaker 2: prepare case. And I didn't know the threshold, you know,

1486
01:19:33,000 --> 01:19:35,439
Speaker 2: how much is enough? Yeah. I don't have the experience

1487
01:19:35,479 --> 01:19:37,800
Speaker 2: to say, yeah, we got enough evidence. Yeah, So I

1488
01:19:37,880 --> 01:19:39,840
Speaker 2: just had to keep going and going and going, and

1489
01:19:39,880 --> 01:19:43,360
Speaker 2: I probably overdid it anyway, I succeeded, But oh good,

1490
01:19:43,400 --> 01:19:47,479
Speaker 2: Now my fear was this family heartbreaking? You know this family?

1491
01:19:48,520 --> 01:19:50,760
Speaker 1: Well, how many times have you heard of cases like

1492
01:19:50,840 --> 01:19:55,439
Speaker 1: that where a kid of a drug induced family you

1493
01:19:55,479 --> 01:19:58,400
Speaker 1: know can't handle it there in jail, the kid ends

1494
01:19:58,479 --> 01:20:01,760
Speaker 1: up being you know, fast from home, and finally a

1495
01:20:01,800 --> 01:20:05,519
Speaker 1: family you know, sees the connection and raises a kid

1496
01:20:05,600 --> 01:20:10,479
Speaker 1: and you know, goes through all the proper channels, finally

1497
01:20:10,520 --> 01:20:13,200
Speaker 1: adopts a child, and ten years later the parents get

1498
01:20:13,200 --> 01:20:15,559
Speaker 1: out of jail, even though they obviously have to sign

1499
01:20:15,600 --> 01:20:18,559
Speaker 1: a release for the kid to be adopted. Now they

1500
01:20:18,560 --> 01:20:22,080
Speaker 1: want to be back in the kid's life. How do

1501
01:20:22,120 --> 01:20:23,519
Speaker 1: you how do you would you handle that?

1502
01:20:23,760 --> 01:20:27,160
Speaker 2: Well? I've never experienced it that much. But if the parents'

1503
01:20:27,200 --> 01:20:30,400
Speaker 2: rights are terminated, you can only have two parents, right, Yeah,

1504
01:20:30,560 --> 01:20:34,840
Speaker 2: So if if a if a husband will call them,

1505
01:20:34,880 --> 01:20:42,080
Speaker 2: if a husband wants to adopt the wife's son or child,

1506
01:20:42,439 --> 01:20:45,840
Speaker 2: you can. You cannot terminate a biological father's rights and

1507
01:20:45,920 --> 01:20:49,519
Speaker 2: parental rights without someone stepping in his shoes, right. Okay,

1508
01:20:49,920 --> 01:20:53,400
Speaker 2: So in your example, if I understood it correctly, you

1509
01:20:53,520 --> 01:20:58,200
Speaker 2: have new adopted adoptive family. Right, So a mother and

1510
01:20:58,320 --> 01:21:01,439
Speaker 2: father presumably a mother and father adopt the child. Now

1511
01:21:01,560 --> 01:21:04,240
Speaker 2: the biological parents are no longer. They have no rights anymore,

1512
01:21:04,600 --> 01:21:07,639
Speaker 2: right as if they don't exist, your records are stealed,

1513
01:21:07,680 --> 01:21:10,800
Speaker 2: everything's gone. But when the child becomes an adult, then

1514
01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:13,720
Speaker 2: they might choose to search out their biological father or

1515
01:21:13,760 --> 01:21:17,360
Speaker 2: parents to answer some questions. So I guess it was.

1516
01:21:17,560 --> 01:21:18,920
Speaker 2: It was a long way to answer your question. I

1517
01:21:18,920 --> 01:21:21,519
Speaker 2: don't think the original biological parents can come back into

1518
01:21:21,560 --> 01:21:24,160
Speaker 2: their lives once they're terminated. They have no rights.

1519
01:21:24,479 --> 01:21:25,880
Speaker 1: Okay, interesting so.

1520
01:21:26,640 --> 01:21:30,160
Speaker 2: But but I don't have any experience in that area.

1521
01:21:30,200 --> 01:21:32,080
Speaker 2: And the example you gave I have not gotten that

1522
01:21:32,160 --> 01:21:35,599
Speaker 2: far along. When I was practicing family law too, how did.

1523
01:21:35,400 --> 01:21:37,679
Speaker 1: You get this case being in workers' comp.

1524
01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:40,040
Speaker 2: I'll tell you how so well, I wasn't a workers

1525
01:21:40,280 --> 01:21:41,560
Speaker 2: I was in Utah at the time, so I was

1526
01:21:41,600 --> 01:21:46,320
Speaker 2: practiced family law. And Emily was just like, you know,

1527
01:21:46,800 --> 01:21:49,080
Speaker 2: you can practice on your own. It's no problem you

1528
01:21:49,080 --> 01:21:50,840
Speaker 2: can do. Let's just do it. Do it on your own.

1529
01:21:50,840 --> 01:21:52,839
Speaker 2: So I went on my own, rented a little office,

1530
01:21:53,160 --> 01:21:56,240
Speaker 2: and she sent out a mailer like across the county

1531
01:21:56,880 --> 01:21:59,760
Speaker 2: to every house. And these cases are coming in, and

1532
01:21:59,800 --> 01:22:01,760
Speaker 2: this one came into adopt. I'm like have I've never

1533
01:22:01,840 --> 01:22:03,400
Speaker 2: done this before. She goes, yeah, I can help you.

1534
01:22:03,439 --> 01:22:05,680
Speaker 2: I can do that, no problem. Because she worked in

1535
01:22:05,720 --> 01:22:07,840
Speaker 2: family law in LA. She's like, I can help you

1536
01:22:07,880 --> 01:22:10,400
Speaker 2: with that. I'm like okay. Then like the next week

1537
01:22:10,439 --> 01:22:12,160
Speaker 2: she went and got a job. She worked for some

1538
01:22:12,240 --> 01:22:14,479
Speaker 2: law firm. It's like, I can't help you anymore. But

1539
01:22:15,280 --> 01:22:17,479
Speaker 2: it was all on my own. She never came to

1540
01:22:17,600 --> 01:22:20,200
Speaker 2: court with me. Nothing never came. That was on my

1541
01:22:20,240 --> 01:22:22,560
Speaker 2: own anyway. That was that was how that came. So

1542
01:22:22,600 --> 01:22:24,320
Speaker 2: and then all these cases started coming in that were

1543
01:22:24,320 --> 01:22:26,880
Speaker 2: family law cases, and I learned I don't law because

1544
01:22:27,400 --> 01:22:31,200
Speaker 2: it's too emotional. It's it's necessary, and I praise those

1545
01:22:31,240 --> 01:22:34,920
Speaker 2: that do it. It's an imperfect system. It can't be perfect.

1546
01:22:34,960 --> 01:22:37,160
Speaker 2: It's you know, you can't have a black and white

1547
01:22:37,400 --> 01:22:40,200
Speaker 2: letter law that that's gonna be equal across the board.

1548
01:22:40,240 --> 01:22:43,320
Speaker 2: I know you. I'm sure you've experienced it, know enough

1549
01:22:43,360 --> 01:22:47,120
Speaker 2: that it doesn't work like that. You know there's it's

1550
01:22:47,600 --> 01:22:50,920
Speaker 2: it's so hard. It's a brown peg in a square hole, right,

1551
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:52,760
Speaker 2: or a square peg in a round hole. It's it's

1552
01:22:53,000 --> 01:22:54,160
Speaker 2: just doesn't work.

1553
01:22:54,479 --> 01:22:57,920
Speaker 1: It's arguably one of the hardest types of lot of

1554
01:22:58,000 --> 01:22:59,719
Speaker 1: practice is family law.

1555
01:23:00,439 --> 01:23:03,920
Speaker 2: No, I can't stand it. Yeah, it's just too heartbreaking.

1556
01:23:03,920 --> 01:23:05,640
Speaker 2: And I praise those that are able to do it

1557
01:23:05,640 --> 01:23:06,639
Speaker 2: because it needs to be done.

1558
01:23:06,920 --> 01:23:07,320
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1559
01:23:07,439 --> 01:23:09,559
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know. The thing is it's so emotionally. You

1560
01:23:09,560 --> 01:23:11,760
Speaker 2: get these people coming in your office just shouting out

1561
01:23:11,800 --> 01:23:14,280
Speaker 2: all this stuff. He did this, he did he did this. Yeah,

1562
01:23:14,280 --> 01:23:17,639
Speaker 2: that's great, that's not that's not a legal argument. That's

1563
01:23:18,040 --> 01:23:21,640
Speaker 2: more of an emotional argument. I need little stuff, you know.

1564
01:23:22,120 --> 01:23:25,679
Speaker 2: Him sleeping with someone else doesn't matter, all right, crappy

1565
01:23:25,720 --> 01:23:28,479
Speaker 2: as that is. It doesn't matter. He's still a dad,

1566
01:23:29,360 --> 01:23:32,080
Speaker 2: but that's not there or the other way around. I

1567
01:23:32,080 --> 01:23:34,960
Speaker 2: don't want to save her a dime. Too bad. You

1568
01:23:35,080 --> 01:23:37,120
Speaker 2: signed up for it. That's what you got to do.

1569
01:23:37,720 --> 01:23:40,599
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and you have to do that to protect

1570
01:23:40,640 --> 01:23:44,439
Speaker 1: the family because there are some legit situations for men,

1571
01:23:44,640 --> 01:23:47,439
Speaker 1: you know, they especially if they own their own business,

1572
01:23:47,439 --> 01:23:49,640
Speaker 1: suddenly they don't make any money. Right, How does that?

1573
01:23:49,800 --> 01:23:53,280
Speaker 2: Yeah? Absolutely, I can't. I tell you, I can't stand.

1574
01:23:53,600 --> 01:23:54,160
Speaker 1: I can't stand.

1575
01:23:54,560 --> 01:23:58,240
Speaker 2: I tell you, a dead beat dad is I can't,

1576
01:23:58,479 --> 01:24:02,320
Speaker 2: especially because I fall all the rules. I cannot stand that.

1577
01:24:02,760 --> 01:24:05,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. See that would that would drive me nuts. One

1578
01:24:05,120 --> 01:24:08,559
Speaker 1: of the things that my my father gave me the

1579
01:24:08,560 --> 01:24:10,280
Speaker 1: option to go to law school, and I just couldn't

1580
01:24:10,320 --> 01:24:13,720
Speaker 1: do it because there's this one part of law that

1581
01:24:13,760 --> 01:24:16,320
Speaker 1: I just can't wrap my head around. I understand it,

1582
01:24:16,680 --> 01:24:21,360
Speaker 1: and and and and and I believe it's it's a necessity.

1583
01:24:21,760 --> 01:24:24,559
Speaker 1: But when you become an attorney and you have to

1584
01:24:24,600 --> 01:24:29,160
Speaker 1: defend a criminal, or you have to defend somebody you

1585
01:24:29,200 --> 01:24:34,920
Speaker 1: do know committed the crime, how do you know I've

1586
01:24:34,920 --> 01:24:36,040
Speaker 1: never done get.

1587
01:24:35,960 --> 01:24:38,479
Speaker 2: Him out of it. It's a very valid thought. I've

1588
01:24:38,520 --> 01:24:40,559
Speaker 2: never had done criminal defense. But I know one way

1589
01:24:40,600 --> 01:24:43,240
Speaker 2: to look at it is so you have, you know,

1590
01:24:44,439 --> 01:24:51,880
Speaker 2: an obvious plea uh guilty, like oh, jay one, you

1591
01:24:51,960 --> 01:24:56,479
Speaker 2: never have a client you don't want to know. But

1592
01:24:56,720 --> 01:24:59,479
Speaker 2: if you know they did it, like let's say they yeah,

1593
01:24:59,479 --> 01:25:01,960
Speaker 2: I did it, I get crap out of her right, Well,

1594
01:25:02,040 --> 01:25:03,960
Speaker 2: then what you're trying to do is not say that

1595
01:25:04,000 --> 01:25:07,280
Speaker 2: the person's not that the person's innocent. You're trying to

1596
01:25:07,320 --> 01:25:09,479
Speaker 2: make sure that they don't get any more of a

1597
01:25:09,560 --> 01:25:13,559
Speaker 2: punishment than you think they're entitled to. So in a way,

1598
01:25:13,600 --> 01:25:16,519
Speaker 2: you're kind of controlling the system that way. It's not

1599
01:25:16,760 --> 01:25:19,360
Speaker 2: I'm trying to get this person off and out in

1600
01:25:19,400 --> 01:25:22,080
Speaker 2: the world. And say it's innocent. It's let's see if

1601
01:25:22,080 --> 01:25:24,080
Speaker 2: we can reduce the charges. Let's see if we can

1602
01:25:24,120 --> 01:25:27,280
Speaker 2: get it with in reason. And so that's and again,

1603
01:25:27,320 --> 01:25:28,760
Speaker 2: and how you have to look like, maybe you don't

1604
01:25:28,800 --> 01:25:31,559
Speaker 2: agree with the death penalty, right right, you know, you're

1605
01:25:31,600 --> 01:25:33,640
Speaker 2: going to try to pursue life in prison or some

1606
01:25:33,800 --> 01:25:38,040
Speaker 2: lesser sentence and the death penalty. Negotiate that so you're

1607
01:25:38,080 --> 01:25:41,320
Speaker 2: not you know, there's a big difference between not guilty

1608
01:25:41,600 --> 01:25:44,480
Speaker 2: and as innocent as you didn't do it, not guilty.

1609
01:25:44,280 --> 01:25:47,640
Speaker 2: By law, you're not guilty. So if you look at

1610
01:25:47,680 --> 01:25:48,880
Speaker 2: it that way, it might help.

1611
01:25:49,040 --> 01:25:53,680
Speaker 1: So what about those cases where they're wrongfully in farstrated,

1612
01:25:55,960 --> 01:25:59,080
Speaker 1: you know, And and it's going back to what we

1613
01:25:59,080 --> 01:26:02,160
Speaker 1: were talking about family law. It's it's an imperfect system, right,

1614
01:26:02,280 --> 01:26:05,040
Speaker 1: So when it comes down to it, the law is

1615
01:26:05,080 --> 01:26:08,439
Speaker 1: not the law. It's not like black and white. There's

1616
01:26:08,479 --> 01:26:12,160
Speaker 1: so many levels and moving parts, particularly with cases like

1617
01:26:12,200 --> 01:26:15,640
Speaker 1: the O J case where he had money, he had connections,

1618
01:26:15,800 --> 01:26:20,240
Speaker 1: he had yeah, and there's a lot of that, and

1619
01:26:20,320 --> 01:26:23,920
Speaker 1: there's always been a lot of that. You know, when

1620
01:26:23,920 --> 01:26:25,960
Speaker 1: it comes to one of one of my biggest pet

1621
01:26:26,000 --> 01:26:29,120
Speaker 1: peeves of law is you know, you try to sue

1622
01:26:29,240 --> 01:26:32,280
Speaker 1: big Pharma. Well, they're going to win solely because they

1623
01:26:32,280 --> 01:26:35,960
Speaker 1: have so much more money to outlaw you, right, or

1624
01:26:36,000 --> 01:26:37,519
Speaker 1: outlaw lorrier youth.

1625
01:26:37,680 --> 01:26:40,000
Speaker 2: So yeah, absolutely, to make your life hell.

1626
01:26:40,080 --> 01:26:42,120
Speaker 1: And it's just so hard to win those cases, even

1627
01:26:42,120 --> 01:26:47,000
Speaker 1: though they are responsible for what happened. So that's one

1628
01:26:47,000 --> 01:26:47,639
Speaker 1: of the things that.

1629
01:26:48,160 --> 01:26:50,559
Speaker 2: Like a casino, they're always going to win because they

1630
01:26:50,560 --> 01:26:53,320
Speaker 2: never run out of money. You will run out of money, yeah,

1631
01:26:53,400 --> 01:26:57,320
Speaker 2: they will never playing and playing and playing until you quit.

1632
01:26:57,880 --> 01:27:00,200
Speaker 2: And that's how it is. In your example, big Farm,

1633
01:27:00,320 --> 01:27:03,519
Speaker 2: They'll they'll play all day long. Yeah, and they have

1634
01:27:03,640 --> 01:27:07,240
Speaker 2: the means to the money too, and they're incentivized to

1635
01:27:07,320 --> 01:27:08,439
Speaker 2: win much more.

1636
01:27:09,479 --> 01:27:11,880
Speaker 1: And and they'll just hire a law firm that has

1637
01:27:11,920 --> 01:27:13,720
Speaker 1: one hundred lawyers that are going to work on this

1638
01:27:13,800 --> 01:27:14,439
Speaker 1: one case.

1639
01:27:14,880 --> 01:27:16,080
Speaker 2: Yeah right.

1640
01:27:16,160 --> 01:27:18,960
Speaker 1: And it's not fair. It's not fair, especially when it

1641
01:27:19,000 --> 01:27:22,519
Speaker 1: comes to discovery. I mean, you can get buried in

1642
01:27:22,600 --> 01:27:23,400
Speaker 1: that stupid ship.

1643
01:27:23,560 --> 01:27:27,479
Speaker 2: But you know, it's a first comp It's such a

1644
01:27:27,720 --> 01:27:34,559
Speaker 2: unique area of law procedurally that we've come across lawyers

1645
01:27:34,600 --> 01:27:37,599
Speaker 2: that may do very well in their niche and are

1646
01:27:37,720 --> 01:27:39,880
Speaker 2: very successful, and then they think that they're going to

1647
01:27:39,960 --> 01:27:42,840
Speaker 2: try to help their brother in this work comp case,

1648
01:27:43,439 --> 01:27:45,559
Speaker 2: and you know, you mop the floor with them because

1649
01:27:45,720 --> 01:27:48,160
Speaker 2: they just don't know how it works. And so in

1650
01:27:48,200 --> 01:27:50,320
Speaker 2: your example, Big if I were to try to suit

1651
01:27:50,400 --> 01:27:54,200
Speaker 2: Big Pharma or anyone that doesn't have the experience, it's

1652
01:27:54,280 --> 01:27:56,000
Speaker 2: not even a matter of money at that points, a

1653
01:27:56,000 --> 01:27:58,800
Speaker 2: matter of knowing what you're doing. And they know all

1654
01:27:58,840 --> 01:28:03,360
Speaker 2: all the tricks and the loopholes and things that you don't. Yeah,

1655
01:28:03,400 --> 01:28:05,280
Speaker 2: and that's how it was with workers compleen, we get you.

1656
01:28:05,320 --> 01:28:06,960
Speaker 2: Oh I've done personal injury for it. Yeah, it's not

1657
01:28:07,000 --> 01:28:09,280
Speaker 2: the same thing. You might be very you might do

1658
01:28:09,479 --> 01:28:11,760
Speaker 2: very well in your area, but it's not the same thing.

1659
01:28:12,040 --> 01:28:14,840
Speaker 2: So you got a disadvantage already. And so that's the

1660
01:28:14,920 --> 01:28:18,000
Speaker 2: example with you know, the deep pockets, right, they have

1661
01:28:18,080 --> 01:28:18,840
Speaker 2: the experience.

1662
01:28:20,120 --> 01:28:22,519
Speaker 1: That was one of the actually, that was the main

1663
01:28:22,560 --> 01:28:27,400
Speaker 1: reason why when I was running my dad's practice, we

1664
01:28:27,439 --> 01:28:31,439
Speaker 1: made sure we focused on ho A law bankruptcy transaction

1665
01:28:31,600 --> 01:28:35,840
Speaker 1: of foreclosures because it's a very niche industry that just

1666
01:28:36,240 --> 01:28:38,840
Speaker 1: grew big time in California and across the nation, but

1667
01:28:38,960 --> 01:28:42,560
Speaker 1: mostly in California. There's so many hoa's here it's ridiculous.

1668
01:28:42,880 --> 01:28:46,360
Speaker 1: But I made sure my dad wanted to dabble into

1669
01:28:46,400 --> 01:28:48,880
Speaker 1: all kinds of other stuff. I had to reel him in, like, God,

1670
01:28:49,000 --> 01:28:51,639
Speaker 1: Dad's get out of there. We're not doing family law,

1671
01:28:51,640 --> 01:28:53,439
Speaker 1: we're not doing a state planning, and we're just doing

1672
01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:57,599
Speaker 1: ho law. Yeah, and if we if we weren't great

1673
01:28:57,680 --> 01:28:59,920
Speaker 1: at that, I don't think we would have been a

1674
01:29:00,080 --> 01:29:03,880
Speaker 1: successful as we were because the firm did really great.

1675
01:29:03,960 --> 01:29:06,680
Speaker 2: You know. Really just have to find one thing and

1676
01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:08,040
Speaker 2: excel in it, right.

1677
01:29:07,920 --> 01:29:11,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree. I agree, it'd be really

1678
01:29:12,000 --> 01:29:14,760
Speaker 1: really good at that one thing. Except when it comes

1679
01:29:14,800 --> 01:29:17,080
Speaker 1: to medicine. I'm not a doctor or anything, but you know,

1680
01:29:17,320 --> 01:29:21,240
Speaker 1: I believe that a doctor should know how all the

1681
01:29:21,280 --> 01:29:25,040
Speaker 1: body parts work together, you know, instead of sending you,

1682
01:29:25,040 --> 01:29:28,360
Speaker 1: you know, to seven doctors for one ailment that just

1683
01:29:28,400 --> 01:29:31,000
Speaker 1: doesn't make any sense absolutely.

1684
01:29:31,200 --> 01:29:33,479
Speaker 2: Or they should have a team maybe they collectively, right,

1685
01:29:33,640 --> 01:29:35,479
Speaker 2: so they kind of work together, so it's like you

1686
01:29:35,520 --> 01:29:37,720
Speaker 2: know what I'm I'm not a specialty. I'm not a

1687
01:29:37,760 --> 01:29:42,800
Speaker 2: specialist the cardiovascular, but my partner right here is, and

1688
01:29:42,840 --> 01:29:45,080
Speaker 2: then they can work together instead of it going to

1689
01:29:45,160 --> 01:29:48,600
Speaker 2: another office and trying to find someone and yeah, you

1690
01:29:48,600 --> 01:29:52,000
Speaker 2: should have one one stop shop, right you should?

1691
01:29:52,160 --> 01:29:55,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, where you know, everybody's communicating and talking to each other.

1692
01:29:56,479 --> 01:30:00,160
Speaker 1: My other pet peeve with the pharmaceutical or the doctor

1693
01:30:00,280 --> 01:30:03,320
Speaker 1: the healthcare industry is they'll put you on a drug

1694
01:30:03,320 --> 01:30:06,280
Speaker 1: that's going to result one issue. Then that drug creates

1695
01:30:06,320 --> 01:30:08,559
Speaker 1: other issues, so they have to put you on another

1696
01:30:08,640 --> 01:30:10,960
Speaker 1: drug to fix that issue. So that's just perpetual.

1697
01:30:11,080 --> 01:30:14,640
Speaker 2: The classic example. The classic example is, uh, you know,

1698
01:30:14,640 --> 01:30:17,040
Speaker 2: Emily gets a UTI right and my daughter both at

1699
01:30:17,120 --> 01:30:19,040
Speaker 2: you time. They're like, here, take this antibiotic, but it

1700
01:30:19,040 --> 01:30:23,200
Speaker 2: will cause a yeast infect so now take this. You know.

1701
01:30:23,439 --> 01:30:28,400
Speaker 2: It's like, well, yeah, yeah, it's just it's I don't know,

1702
01:30:28,479 --> 01:30:29,120
Speaker 2: I don't get it.

1703
01:30:29,240 --> 01:30:33,000
Speaker 1: I don't like it, but I don't get it. Anyways,

1704
01:30:34,840 --> 01:30:38,040
Speaker 1: I think that's it. I think we talked about being afraid.

1705
01:30:38,960 --> 01:30:42,600
Speaker 1: You know, I coming into this conversation, I didn't know

1706
01:30:42,600 --> 01:30:44,920
Speaker 1: what I was going to really say. Because I thrive

1707
01:30:45,000 --> 01:30:48,160
Speaker 1: on fear. I make it a point that if it

1708
01:30:48,320 --> 01:30:52,920
Speaker 1: scares me, it's it's worth the pursuit or worth the fight.

1709
01:30:53,600 --> 01:30:56,559
Speaker 1: If it's not scary, it's kind of like, eh, I

1710
01:30:56,560 --> 01:30:59,040
Speaker 1: don't really you know, I'm not that interested. And I

1711
01:30:59,040 --> 01:31:01,599
Speaker 1: was really curious to see you what you thought where

1712
01:31:01,640 --> 01:31:05,040
Speaker 1: your stance on fear is because I know this generation

1713
01:31:05,200 --> 01:31:08,880
Speaker 1: nowadays are very sensitive and you know, the men today,

1714
01:31:09,400 --> 01:31:11,960
Speaker 1: you know, they're okay with crying in front of people,

1715
01:31:12,000 --> 01:31:15,000
Speaker 1: and I just don't see that. I don't see that

1716
01:31:15,080 --> 01:31:19,120
Speaker 1: as as as what it takes to be a man.

1717
01:31:19,479 --> 01:31:23,519
Speaker 1: For example, you're in a situation, a precarious situation with

1718
01:31:23,640 --> 01:31:26,840
Speaker 1: your family, and it doesn't make sense to me that

1719
01:31:26,880 --> 01:31:29,760
Speaker 1: the woman has to step up and take care of

1720
01:31:29,840 --> 01:31:33,360
Speaker 1: the family when the man should be standing up for

1721
01:31:33,400 --> 01:31:35,960
Speaker 1: his family and not being afraid of anything, right. So

1722
01:31:36,600 --> 01:31:40,160
Speaker 1: it just it spins my head to imagine or even

1723
01:31:40,200 --> 01:31:44,800
Speaker 1: witness a man standing behind his woman while the woman

1724
01:31:44,880 --> 01:31:47,920
Speaker 1: is taking charge and you know, making shit happen. You know,

1725
01:31:48,000 --> 01:31:49,600
Speaker 1: for whatever reason that is.

1726
01:31:49,840 --> 01:31:52,280
Speaker 2: I would agree with you on that, and maybe that's

1727
01:31:52,280 --> 01:31:54,439
Speaker 2: a pride thing, but I try to I try to

1728
01:31:54,479 --> 01:31:57,760
Speaker 2: be the leader in the family right and take take

1729
01:31:57,800 --> 01:32:00,840
Speaker 2: things on myself to try to be a that way.

1730
01:32:01,120 --> 01:32:02,919
Speaker 2: But you know, one thing I got out of this podcast,

1731
01:32:02,920 --> 01:32:04,839
Speaker 2: that's for sure, is to try to face my fears

1732
01:32:04,880 --> 01:32:07,720
Speaker 2: more so rather than just like you know, like the

1733
01:32:07,720 --> 01:32:10,160
Speaker 2: plane example, not just going on a plane and trying

1734
01:32:10,160 --> 01:32:12,040
Speaker 2: to be okay with it and thinking I shouldn't be scared,

1735
01:32:12,120 --> 01:32:14,280
Speaker 2: but actually kind of lean into it like you did

1736
01:32:14,720 --> 01:32:18,120
Speaker 2: with your fears. Yeah, so you know, I'm gonna that

1737
01:32:18,280 --> 01:32:20,320
Speaker 2: next fear I have that I come across, I think

1738
01:32:20,320 --> 01:32:23,479
Speaker 2: I'll try to take it on as a challenge to

1739
01:32:23,600 --> 01:32:25,720
Speaker 2: overcome it and maybe kind of fine tune it and

1740
01:32:25,920 --> 01:32:28,400
Speaker 2: and uh, you know, be superior that way.

1741
01:32:28,800 --> 01:32:30,519
Speaker 1: Well, give me, give me, give me a shout out

1742
01:32:30,520 --> 01:32:32,080
Speaker 1: on that. I want to hear how you did that.

1743
01:32:32,200 --> 01:32:35,040
Speaker 1: I'm really curious because it's it's worked for me for

1744
01:32:35,080 --> 01:32:38,640
Speaker 1: a long time. But like I said, what what I

1745
01:32:38,760 --> 01:32:41,920
Speaker 1: hate seeing is when people don't live their life because

1746
01:32:41,920 --> 01:32:46,120
Speaker 1: they're afraid. You know, they're afraid, especially the people that

1747
01:32:46,320 --> 01:32:49,719
Speaker 1: think about all the worst possible things that can happen

1748
01:32:50,040 --> 01:32:52,240
Speaker 1: in this one scenario. And my wife is one of them.

1749
01:32:52,320 --> 01:32:55,720
Speaker 1: She thinks the worst case scenario about everything. Simple. Let's

1750
01:32:55,760 --> 01:32:58,479
Speaker 1: go on a road trip, okay, where we're gonna suffer gas,

1751
01:32:58,520 --> 01:33:00,760
Speaker 1: we're gonna eat, where we're gonna stay. How much time

1752
01:33:00,760 --> 01:33:02,880
Speaker 1: are we going to take? You know, are we there yet? Like,

1753
01:33:03,040 --> 01:33:07,439
Speaker 1: oh god, it's crazy And I'll never forget this one

1754
01:33:07,520 --> 01:33:11,240
Speaker 1: trip we took. It was at the end of the year.

1755
01:33:11,360 --> 01:33:13,920
Speaker 1: It was a tough year. We were done filming and everything,

1756
01:33:13,920 --> 01:33:17,120
Speaker 1: and it was between Christmas and New Year's Eve, and

1757
01:33:17,160 --> 01:33:20,400
Speaker 1: I said, listen, I'm done with schedules. I'm done with calendars.

1758
01:33:20,400 --> 01:33:23,080
Speaker 1: I'm done with you know, you know, doing my life

1759
01:33:23,080 --> 01:33:26,960
Speaker 1: on a schedule. Let's just get an RB and hit

1760
01:33:27,000 --> 01:33:30,760
Speaker 1: the road. And sure enough, day later, I rented a

1761
01:33:30,800 --> 01:33:36,280
Speaker 1: little Mercedes RBS that pop outs and everything, and I said, okay,

1762
01:33:36,320 --> 01:33:38,400
Speaker 1: just grab a few clothes. We're just going to drive.

1763
01:33:38,600 --> 01:33:40,320
Speaker 1: And I don't know where we're going. We're just going

1764
01:33:40,400 --> 01:33:40,840
Speaker 1: to drive.

1765
01:33:41,840 --> 01:33:44,080
Speaker 2: Not knowing where you're going, right, yeah.

1766
01:33:43,800 --> 01:33:47,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, And she was totally gun ho on board, and

1767
01:33:47,600 --> 01:33:49,400
Speaker 1: it blew my mind that she was. So I said,

1768
01:33:49,439 --> 01:33:51,840
Speaker 1: all right, let's go, got a few pieces together, jumped

1769
01:33:51,840 --> 01:33:54,080
Speaker 1: in the car, and just started driving north with the

1770
01:33:54,120 --> 01:33:57,200
Speaker 1: goal to get to I think Yosemite was one of

1771
01:33:57,240 --> 01:34:00,800
Speaker 1: my goals. As we're driving, we get in I think

1772
01:34:00,800 --> 01:34:05,679
Speaker 1: it was Ventura County, and we both realized we didn't

1773
01:34:06,000 --> 01:34:07,000
Speaker 1: bring any food.

1774
01:34:09,000 --> 01:34:10,480
Speaker 2: We exited the freeway.

1775
01:34:11,680 --> 01:34:14,639
Speaker 1: Ten miles in we got to find a grocery store

1776
01:34:14,920 --> 01:34:17,920
Speaker 1: and we're in there walking around buying groceries. And this

1777
01:34:18,040 --> 01:34:20,920
Speaker 1: is like way out in the middle of nowhere, right,

1778
01:34:21,160 --> 01:34:24,720
Speaker 1: and the people, of course are recognized or they recognized me,

1779
01:34:24,760 --> 01:34:27,960
Speaker 1: and they're like, what the hell are you doing now here?

1780
01:34:28,400 --> 01:34:32,840
Speaker 1: Like we're just getting groceries. So we jumped back in

1781
01:34:32,840 --> 01:34:35,479
Speaker 1: the car back on the freeway, and as we're driving,

1782
01:34:35,520 --> 01:34:37,680
Speaker 1: I'm realizing, oh shit, it's winter. There's going to be

1783
01:34:37,760 --> 01:34:40,160
Speaker 1: a bunch of snow in the mountains. So we can't

1784
01:34:40,160 --> 01:34:42,080
Speaker 1: go to the snow. So where we going I don't know,

1785
01:34:42,120 --> 01:34:44,280
Speaker 1: but we're running out of time and we need to

1786
01:34:44,280 --> 01:34:46,320
Speaker 1: find a place to go, you know, part the RB

1787
01:34:46,560 --> 01:34:48,920
Speaker 1: for the night. So we end up in this gas

1788
01:34:48,960 --> 01:34:51,040
Speaker 1: station and we're trying to figure out we can go

1789
01:34:51,080 --> 01:34:53,680
Speaker 1: to a camping army ground or we can go to

1790
01:34:53,760 --> 01:34:55,080
Speaker 1: this little wow.

1791
01:34:55,120 --> 01:34:58,480
Speaker 2: You literally didn't plan anything, you just got anything.

1792
01:34:58,880 --> 01:35:02,080
Speaker 1: It was it was so much fun. I can't tell

1793
01:35:02,120 --> 01:35:06,840
Speaker 1: you how much fun that trip was, because yeah, yeah,

1794
01:35:06,960 --> 01:35:10,800
Speaker 1: whatever whatever came to us, we did. And I can't

1795
01:35:10,800 --> 01:35:13,000
Speaker 1: remember the last time, well the last time I did that.

1796
01:35:13,640 --> 01:35:17,639
Speaker 1: My dad gave me a book written by Jack Cua.

1797
01:35:18,040 --> 01:35:20,479
Speaker 1: I think it's called On the Road. I don't know

1798
01:35:20,520 --> 01:35:23,840
Speaker 1: if you read it. It's a book about a kid

1799
01:35:23,880 --> 01:35:26,680
Speaker 1: that just you know, got on the road and just

1800
01:35:26,800 --> 01:35:30,640
Speaker 1: took the adventure and whatever came came you know, it

1801
01:35:30,720 --> 01:35:34,519
Speaker 1: was a great book, and I think it was because

1802
01:35:34,520 --> 01:35:36,240
Speaker 1: of that book that I wanted to do this trip

1803
01:35:36,280 --> 01:35:39,280
Speaker 1: because all the rest of our lives is on schedules

1804
01:35:39,320 --> 01:35:42,639
Speaker 1: and organized, and if it's not, it's chaos. Right, if

1805
01:35:42,680 --> 01:35:46,080
Speaker 1: your life is not organized, it's freaking chaos. So I

1806
01:35:46,120 --> 01:35:48,160
Speaker 1: just didn't want any of that at that time. And

1807
01:35:48,280 --> 01:35:50,360
Speaker 1: we had such a blast. We ended up going all

1808
01:35:50,360 --> 01:35:53,680
Speaker 1: the way to Napa Valley, and of course when we

1809
01:35:53,720 --> 01:35:56,640
Speaker 1: get there, we didn't realize it's winter, so all the

1810
01:35:56,880 --> 01:36:01,240
Speaker 1: all the vineyards are closed except for one. But we

1811
01:36:01,240 --> 01:36:03,320
Speaker 1: were looking for a vineyard and you know, we couldn't

1812
01:36:03,360 --> 01:36:05,920
Speaker 1: find when that was open, Like why are we here?

1813
01:36:06,720 --> 01:36:09,160
Speaker 2: Well, you know, you I'm certain you experienced things that

1814
01:36:09,200 --> 01:36:10,880
Speaker 2: you wouldn't have had you planned.

1815
01:36:11,520 --> 01:36:16,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it was. It was almost like freedom, you know,

1816
01:36:16,400 --> 01:36:19,760
Speaker 1: because when you're on a schedule, even though you know

1817
01:36:19,840 --> 01:36:22,240
Speaker 1: you have to be on a schedule an organized to

1818
01:36:22,320 --> 01:36:27,519
Speaker 1: make life successful and accomplishable, it felt like I was free.

1819
01:36:29,280 --> 01:36:31,680
Speaker 2: When you have a plan, you're you must do this,

1820
01:36:31,880 --> 01:36:33,519
Speaker 2: you must do that, or you're supposed to check in

1821
01:36:33,520 --> 01:36:36,519
Speaker 2: at a certain time. But here you are, you know,

1822
01:36:37,160 --> 01:36:38,519
Speaker 2: you were free to do as.

1823
01:36:38,360 --> 01:36:40,160
Speaker 1: You wish for you to do as I wish, and

1824
01:36:40,200 --> 01:36:43,679
Speaker 1: I love that. You know. I have had friends where

1825
01:36:43,760 --> 01:36:47,599
Speaker 1: we've traveled and they have this whole agenda. I'm like, dude,

1826
01:36:47,680 --> 01:36:51,400
Speaker 1: I am not doing any of that on vacation, Okay,

1827
01:36:51,560 --> 01:36:52,440
Speaker 1: I just relaxing.

1828
01:36:52,920 --> 01:36:58,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're all when I get home. Right now, right now,

1829
01:36:58,479 --> 01:36:59,639
Speaker 2: I'm just gone with the flow.

1830
01:36:59,720 --> 01:37:02,120
Speaker 1: There's there's really something to say for that.

1831
01:37:03,240 --> 01:37:06,120
Speaker 2: I do commend those, and I experienced that a little

1832
01:37:06,120 --> 01:37:07,800
Speaker 2: bit in Utah. I don't have him any stories, but

1833
01:37:08,200 --> 01:37:10,080
Speaker 2: people who literally just like, now I'm just gonna go

1834
01:37:10,080 --> 01:37:12,759
Speaker 2: on the mountains for a week or two, yeah, you know, literally,

1835
01:37:12,880 --> 01:37:16,320
Speaker 2: and I'll find food. Literally. I know a guy he

1836
01:37:16,400 --> 01:37:19,479
Speaker 2: was he loved it. He's like, I ate snake. Yeah,

1837
01:37:19,720 --> 01:37:22,200
Speaker 2: it was just it was just hunting. And he lived

1838
01:37:22,200 --> 01:37:24,840
Speaker 2: out there for two weeks and he just like he

1839
01:37:24,880 --> 01:37:26,880
Speaker 2: said it was the best thing. I never really dug into.

1840
01:37:26,880 --> 01:37:29,160
Speaker 2: I wish I did, but yeah, gone already know who

1841
01:37:29,200 --> 01:37:31,400
Speaker 2: is anymore. But he he said the snake was the

1842
01:37:31,400 --> 01:37:34,439
Speaker 2: best thing here, probably because he captured it and he

1843
01:37:34,479 --> 01:37:36,800
Speaker 2: did it himself and it was really you know, and

1844
01:37:36,840 --> 01:37:38,439
Speaker 2: maybe he was hungry for it, you.

1845
01:37:38,360 --> 01:37:41,599
Speaker 1: Know, really hungry, right like he you know.

1846
01:37:41,760 --> 01:37:43,720
Speaker 2: He experienced things that he wouldn't have otherwise, and to

1847
01:37:43,720 --> 01:37:46,080
Speaker 2: be able to do that without any I mean that's yeah.

1848
01:37:46,080 --> 01:37:47,919
Speaker 2: I wish I could live a life like that sometimes.

1849
01:37:48,160 --> 01:37:50,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean you can start little by little.

1850
01:37:51,160 --> 01:37:53,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to go get a camper tomorrow. Yeah,

1851
01:37:53,640 --> 01:37:55,439
Speaker 2: just you know, Emily, he's going to get in it

1852
01:37:55,720 --> 01:37:57,280
Speaker 2: and we'll go to the beach food.

1853
01:37:58,240 --> 01:38:00,439
Speaker 1: Go to the beach right here and send say Clamenty.

1854
01:38:00,720 --> 01:38:02,639
Speaker 1: You know, there's always I used to ride my bike

1855
01:38:02,680 --> 01:38:04,479
Speaker 1: there a lot, and I used to see people camp

1856
01:38:04,479 --> 01:38:05,200
Speaker 1: there all the time.

1857
01:38:05,240 --> 01:38:07,479
Speaker 2: It's a good start, yeah, yeah, just.

1858
01:38:08,160 --> 01:38:11,080
Speaker 1: It could be fun and then expand because that's one

1859
01:38:11,080 --> 01:38:13,160
Speaker 1: of my goals to get on my Harley and go

1860
01:38:13,240 --> 01:38:15,640
Speaker 1: across the nation one day. You know, I have to

1861
01:38:15,720 --> 01:38:19,040
Speaker 1: find the right people to teach me and be part

1862
01:38:19,040 --> 01:38:21,320
Speaker 1: of because I don't have the balls yet to just

1863
01:38:21,400 --> 01:38:23,519
Speaker 1: jump on it and go by myself. I thought about it.

1864
01:38:24,080 --> 01:38:26,040
Speaker 1: I literally thought, I'm just going to jump on my

1865
01:38:26,040 --> 01:38:29,160
Speaker 1: bike one day and go. But I got a wife,

1866
01:38:29,200 --> 01:38:30,920
Speaker 1: I got kids, now, I got a damned dog.

1867
01:38:31,000 --> 01:38:34,559
Speaker 2: I got to do that.

1868
01:38:35,320 --> 01:38:37,559
Speaker 1: But I think that would be such a fun, fun

1869
01:38:37,880 --> 01:38:39,000
Speaker 1: adventures just to be.

1870
01:38:39,640 --> 01:38:43,480
Speaker 2: I had a friend that did that from Northern California

1871
01:38:43,479 --> 01:38:45,479
Speaker 2: all the way down to the south of Chile on

1872
01:38:45,560 --> 01:38:45,840
Speaker 2: a bike.

1873
01:38:45,920 --> 01:38:46,360
Speaker 1: Wow.

1874
01:38:46,560 --> 01:38:49,559
Speaker 2: And I followed him through Facebook and it was literally

1875
01:38:49,840 --> 01:38:54,439
Speaker 2: just stamp wherever he would share stories of people he met,

1876
01:38:54,600 --> 01:38:57,439
Speaker 2: and he just improvised all the way down and then

1877
01:38:57,479 --> 01:39:00,320
Speaker 2: he unloaded his bike, you know, sold there whatever, it

1878
01:39:00,360 --> 01:39:03,360
Speaker 2: blew back up and that was a couple of months.

1879
01:39:03,560 --> 01:39:04,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so cool.

1880
01:39:05,080 --> 01:39:07,280
Speaker 2: That's you next next.

1881
01:39:07,560 --> 01:39:10,400
Speaker 1: All right, on that note, thank you so much Shane

1882
01:39:10,400 --> 01:39:13,920
Speaker 1: for coming on. And it's been a real pleasure, always

1883
01:39:13,920 --> 01:39:16,720
Speaker 1: fun talking with you. And that's it.

1884
01:39:16,800 --> 01:39:18,720
Speaker 2: That's the show. Yeah, well, thank you for writing me

1885
01:39:18,760 --> 01:39:20,599
Speaker 2: and inspiring me on facing my fear.

1886
01:39:21,960 --> 01:39:25,479
Speaker 1: So guys, don't forget go listen to Legally Brunette if

1887
01:39:25,520 --> 01:39:30,280
Speaker 1: you're into understanding the law and you know, figuring out

1888
01:39:30,360 --> 01:39:33,120
Speaker 1: what you can learn. I'm always about learning, you know.

1889
01:39:33,120 --> 01:39:35,679
Speaker 2: So some kind of high profile celebrity type cases.

1890
01:39:35,960 --> 01:39:37,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's going to be fun to listen to.

1891
01:39:38,400 --> 01:39:39,679
Speaker 2: Very good. Well, thank you Eddie.

1892
01:39:39,880 --> 01:39:42,400
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, thank you so much for listening. That's the

1893
01:39:42,479 --> 01:39:45,000
Speaker 1: wrap and we will see you or hear you at

1894
01:39:45,000 --> 01:39:47,599
Speaker 1: the next one.