WEBVTT - Combating Loneliness

0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:06.760
<v Speaker 1>Stay Calm is a production of I Heart Radio. Welcome

0:00:06.800 --> 0:00:11.879
<v Speaker 1>to Stay Calm, your daily dose of calmness. I'm Bob Roth,

0:00:11.960 --> 0:00:14.520
<v Speaker 1>and I've been teaching people to meditate for fifty years,

0:00:15.000 --> 0:00:18.159
<v Speaker 1>helping them to stay calm under pressure, reboot and re

0:00:18.320 --> 0:00:22.320
<v Speaker 1>energize their lives, and basically be a happier, healthier version

0:00:22.360 --> 0:00:25.000
<v Speaker 1>of themselves. And now I want to help you do

0:00:25.079 --> 0:00:29.720
<v Speaker 1>the same. Ready, sit comfortably, take a few deep breaths,

0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:37.440
<v Speaker 1>and let's begin today's journey. Feeling lonely, You're not alone.

0:00:38.640 --> 0:00:41.839
<v Speaker 1>These can be very tough times. So many of us

0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:46.200
<v Speaker 1>love connecting with people. We thrive on human connection. Before

0:00:46.200 --> 0:00:50.040
<v Speaker 1>the coronavirus pandemic, we go out, go to restaurants, stores,

0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:54.440
<v Speaker 1>or favorite corner coffee shop, our favorite bakery. We'd see

0:00:54.440 --> 0:00:58.160
<v Speaker 1>people we love, people who love us. Gave us a

0:00:58.200 --> 0:01:03.600
<v Speaker 1>power of connection. The longing meaning now not so much.

0:01:05.120 --> 0:01:07.960
<v Speaker 1>Mother Teresa once said that people feel more pain from

0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:11.520
<v Speaker 1>loneliness than they do from hunger. Actually, we're in the

0:01:11.520 --> 0:01:16.360
<v Speaker 1>midst of a major loneliness epidemic. Before coronavirus. A study

0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:20.120
<v Speaker 1>in eighteen by the Kaiser Family Foundation found that sixty

0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:24.400
<v Speaker 1>million Americans said that they are often are always lonely

0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:29.160
<v Speaker 1>or felt socially isolated, and of people older than the

0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:33.640
<v Speaker 1>age of sixty felt lonely. We don't like to be alone.

0:01:34.200 --> 0:01:38.520
<v Speaker 1>We're social creatures, so what can we do well? Many

0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:41.360
<v Speaker 1>sociologists say the problem is we put too much value

0:01:41.400 --> 0:01:45.399
<v Speaker 1>on individualism, too much value on material success for our

0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:50.640
<v Speaker 1>self worth, that we undervalue relationships. They say we need

0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:54.120
<v Speaker 1>to reprioritize and put people at the top of everything,

0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:57.160
<v Speaker 1>and the way we run our businesses, educate our young.

0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:02.600
<v Speaker 1>He'll are sick. That's fortunately, there's stuff we can do

0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:06.360
<v Speaker 1>right now. According to the former U s Surgeon General

0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:11.960
<v Speaker 1>Viveck Morty, it's all about connection. He says, quote, building

0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:15.320
<v Speaker 1>a more connected life is ultimately grounded in the small

0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:18.959
<v Speaker 1>things we do. It doesn't require a wholesale and version

0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:21.800
<v Speaker 1>of our life. There are small steps we can take

0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:25.840
<v Speaker 1>so we find much deeper connection and fulfillment. One of

0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:28.520
<v Speaker 1>the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves is to

0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:31.520
<v Speaker 1>give to other people, and that is the gift of

0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:34.600
<v Speaker 1>our full attention. We're used to thinking that the way

0:02:34.639 --> 0:02:37.120
<v Speaker 1>to deal with the problem is to voice and enact

0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:40.760
<v Speaker 1>a solution, but there's also great healing to be found

0:02:40.840 --> 0:02:44.040
<v Speaker 1>in just listening deeply to someone and it's one of

0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:47.760
<v Speaker 1>the most powerful things we can ever do. Another thing

0:02:47.800 --> 0:02:50.040
<v Speaker 1>we can do, he says, is calling a friend to

0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:52.880
<v Speaker 1>see how they're doing, checking on a neighbor who might

0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:56.000
<v Speaker 1>be older to make sure that they have groceries, face

0:02:56.040 --> 0:02:59.000
<v Speaker 1>timing with your grandchildren for ten or fifteen minutes so

0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:02.440
<v Speaker 1>that their parents have time to sit and breathe. But

0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:04.560
<v Speaker 1>we also know there are times when we are alone

0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:08.400
<v Speaker 1>that we don't feel lost and lonely, but instead we

0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:14.560
<v Speaker 1>feel inspired, energized, empowered. The deepest connection is to connect

0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:18.480
<v Speaker 1>with yourself during meditation. No one can take that away

0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:25.079
<v Speaker 1>from you. It's safe, peaceful, sublime, restorative, loyal, and it's

0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:28.040
<v Speaker 1>deep within you at all times. You just need to

0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:32.280
<v Speaker 1>take the time to make the connection. My health tip

0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:35.560
<v Speaker 1>of the day, whether or not you feel lonely, you

0:03:35.600 --> 0:03:40.360
<v Speaker 1>may know someone who does. Call them. That's it today.

0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:44.960
<v Speaker 1>Now call or zoom a family member or friend, someone

0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:48.240
<v Speaker 1>you're thinking about, someone you may be a little concerned about,

0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:51.680
<v Speaker 1>or maybe just someone who makes you happy. You can

0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:54.360
<v Speaker 1>make a difference and you'll feel a whole lot better.

0:03:55.200 --> 0:03:58.000
<v Speaker 1>And regarding making a difference, I want to end with

0:03:58.040 --> 0:04:01.280
<v Speaker 1>this story as told by Lauren Easley, who was an

0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:07.400
<v Speaker 1>American anthropologist, educator, philosopher, and natural science writer. I love

0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:11.680
<v Speaker 1>this story, Easley wrote. One day a man was walking

0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:14.280
<v Speaker 1>along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something

0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:18.120
<v Speaker 1>up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy,

0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:22.400
<v Speaker 1>he asked, what are you doing. The youth replied, throwing

0:04:22.440 --> 0:04:25.719
<v Speaker 1>starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and

0:04:25.760 --> 0:04:28.440
<v Speaker 1>the tide is going out. If I don't throw them back,

0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:33.479
<v Speaker 1>they'll die. Son, The man said, don't you realize that

0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:38.000
<v Speaker 1>there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish.

0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:42.160
<v Speaker 1>You can't make a difference. After listening politely, the boy

0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:45.440
<v Speaker 1>bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it back

0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:48.960
<v Speaker 1>into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said,

0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:58.719
<v Speaker 1>I made a difference for that one. All right. Thank

0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:01.839
<v Speaker 1>you for joining me today. I hope you heard something

0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:05.839
<v Speaker 1>that inspires that uplifts you and that you can incorporate

0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:13.719
<v Speaker 1>into your own life. This is Bob Roth. Stay calm, hey,

0:05:13.760 --> 0:05:16.120
<v Speaker 1>all of you out there, I'd love to hear from you.

0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:18.760
<v Speaker 1>You can send me your stories, your questions, or anything

0:05:18.760 --> 0:05:22.520
<v Speaker 1>else on your mind. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook,

0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:27.400
<v Speaker 1>or Instagram at meditation Bob. You can also send me

0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:32.000
<v Speaker 1>an email at meditation Bob Roth at gmail dot com.

0:05:32.040 --> 0:05:33.560
<v Speaker 1>I look forward to hearing from you.