Speaker 1: Hey guys, welcome back to my podcast, to your podcast,
Speaker 1: to our podcast. I'm so happy that you are here.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much for taking the time, and I'm
Speaker 1: very excited because I have a very interesting episode in
Speaker 1: store for you today. We're going to be talking about dreams,
Speaker 1: what our dreams, what do they mean, should we take
Speaker 1: them literally? What happens if you don't dream at all.
Speaker 1: We're going to be talking about all that and more
Speaker 1: with our guest Leah Bolan. She's a sleep and dream
Speaker 1: expert based in Arizona.
Speaker 2: Leyah, how are you hello, I'm great, Thank you.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to have a lot of questions. So
Speaker 1: I do want to talk about everything that has to
Speaker 1: do with dreams. But before we do that, can you
Speaker 1: tell me what drew you to this line of work.
Speaker 2: Sure, I really started coming to my dream life through
Speaker 2: my corporate life. Really, it was early in my corporate career.
Speaker 2: I started to struggle a lot with sleep, which introduced
Speaker 2: me to wanting to get into sleep health for myself really,
Speaker 2: but it became a passion. But my dream life was
Speaker 2: suddenly coming around really vivid, a little bit scary. At
Speaker 2: that time in my life, I was having a lot
Speaker 2: of those running, fleeing, hiding kind of dreams, and I
Speaker 2: wasn't sure what was going on. I decided something was
Speaker 2: trying to get my attention, and I started to look
Speaker 2: into as much as I could about dreams. And no
Speaker 2: one around me was talking about them, no one seemed
Speaker 2: to care about them. But the more I started to
Speaker 2: pay attention, I started to see how they were amazing
Speaker 2: parts of our life that are so interlocked with what's
Speaker 2: going on in our waking life. And they became my
Speaker 2: ultimate self help and eventually I became certified as a
Speaker 2: dream work practitioner. Wanted to help others connect with this
Speaker 2: part of their life.
Speaker 1: Okay, thank goodness for you, because I've had this recurring dream.
Speaker 1: As you were speaking, I was remembering, we'll get to
Speaker 1: that part because I'm like, okay, need I need someone
Speaker 1: to tell me because it would freak me out. So anyway, okay,
Speaker 1: so before we get into all that, you know the
Speaker 1: nitty gritty. So you're a sleep and dream expert. What
Speaker 1: are those two things connected?
Speaker 2: So it's interesting so often when you look at experts
Speaker 2: on sleep, they're very much focused on just the science
Speaker 2: of the sleep itself, and they may look at REM
Speaker 2: sleep patterns as part of an over whole night of sleep.
Speaker 2: But as far as this subjective, experiential part of the
Speaker 2: dream realm, they don't tend to get very focused on that.
Speaker 2: And then you'll have dream workers that are highly focused
Speaker 2: on the dream realm and how to work with the
Speaker 2: dreams and really analyze dreams. Rarely do enough people, I think,
Speaker 2: really respect how intermingled these two states are, and dreaming
Speaker 2: is a part of sleep, and I found that they
Speaker 2: absolutely go hand in hand, and a good night of
Speaker 2: sleep is always going to have some dream time.
Speaker 1: So we dream because we're in a deep, deep sleep,
Speaker 1: and it takes us to like kind of like another
Speaker 1: dimension in some way, or is that like farfetched?
Speaker 2: Well, interestingly, a lot of people equate dreams with deep sleep,
Speaker 2: and deep sleep is its own phase of sleep. It's
Speaker 2: actually a different phase than REM sleep, which is our
Speaker 2: most dream fortified part of our night of sleep. You
Speaker 2: can have dreams in other phases, but REM sleep. Rapid
Speaker 2: eye movement is what REM stands for, and if you
Speaker 2: look at someone dreaming, you'll often see their eyes kind
Speaker 2: of fluttering behind their eyelids. That's why it's called rapid
Speaker 2: eye movement. When someone's having that phase, they're generally dreaming,
Speaker 2: and it's actually a very active form of sleep that's
Speaker 2: different than deep sleep. So if you looked at someone's
Speaker 2: brainwave patterns while they're dreaming as compared to someone who's
Speaker 2: awake and going about the day, you might not even
Speaker 2: really be able to discern the difference, whereas in deep
Speaker 2: sleep it's very slow brainwave patterns and we're really harder
Speaker 2: to rouse where someone is a little closer to the
Speaker 2: surface when they're in dream sleep. Interestingly, but I would say, yeah,
Speaker 2: we are in experiences. We are having consciousness experiences in
Speaker 2: a very different awareness, a different realm. It's taking place
Speaker 2: in a way that we might think of as being
Speaker 2: bizarre or strange, but really it's an incredible I would
Speaker 2: say it's kind of multi dimensional because there's so many
Speaker 2: different kinds of dreams. Some are very spiritual. I think
Speaker 2: we connect to the great oneness of all potentially when
Speaker 2: we're dreaming, but a lot of kind of inner psyche
Speaker 2: work is happening in this different space having experiences.
Speaker 1: Okay, And does everyone dream?
Speaker 2: Yes, generally speaking.
Speaker 1: Okay, because there are times when I don't. I feel
Speaker 1: like I don't a lot of the time. I want
Speaker 1: to say ninety percent of the time, I feel like
Speaker 1: I don't dream anything, or maybe it's just I don't remember.
Speaker 2: That's what it is. The National Sleep Foundation estimates most
Speaker 2: of us are having between four to six dreams per night,
Speaker 2: so in a full night of sleep, you're going through
Speaker 2: four to six sleep cycles. They each last about an
Speaker 2: hour and a half to two hours. As part of that,
Speaker 2: you'll have some rem which means you're probably dreaming. Most
Speaker 2: dreams go forgotten, it's estimated ninety five to ninety nine percent,
Speaker 2: So you're totally normal to not be remembering your dreams.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're better than normal.
Speaker 2: It wants to be normal. But at the end of
Speaker 2: the day, it's pretty common that we don't hold a
Speaker 2: working memory of much anything that we've dreamt, and they're
Speaker 2: kind of fleeting. And you've probably had those experiences when
Speaker 2: you woke up with an amazing dream and you went
Speaker 2: to tell someone just a few minutes later and it's
Speaker 2: just collapsed away. There's not that same holding into a
Speaker 2: working memory happening when we're dreaming, so they're very easy
Speaker 2: to lose, and we can, though enhance that recall if
Speaker 2: we wanted to in the beginning, when my dreams were
Speaker 2: so negative it seemed. When I first started working with them,
Speaker 2: what I really learned is it's sort of like a shadow.
Speaker 2: You shine a light on it, it tends to disappear.
Speaker 2: And when we get underneath, why is this dream coming along?
Speaker 2: So often? It's empowering because we see it's not as
Speaker 2: scary as maybe we thought. It's based on something we're
Speaker 2: working through and dealing with. But then we can bring
Speaker 2: consciousness in and help the dreams help us and move
Speaker 2: towards a sweeter dream life by working with the dreams.
Speaker 1: I like that. I love that because you're like shed
Speaker 1: some light into it. I'm like, okay, maybe that's probably
Speaker 1: why that dream when I was young. It happened so
Speaker 1: much when I was young, and it followed me into
Speaker 1: like my early twenties, and it was this big concrete
Speaker 1: ball you know those I don't know what they're called,
Speaker 1: but it demolishes buildings. Yeah, it would follow me and
Speaker 1: I would run and it was chasing me for like ever,
Speaker 1: and I would hear this like clown music, I mean
Speaker 1: for years. And then I started meditating and I started
Speaker 1: getting into the spirituality of things. Now that you're you know,
Speaker 1: as you're speaking, I'm thinking and I'm like, oh, that's
Speaker 1: when it started going away, when I tapped in a
Speaker 1: little bit more to my spirituality. But it was so
Speaker 1: it was the scariest thing. So a wrecking ball, A
Speaker 1: wrecking ball, that thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so this wrecking ball is coming at you
Speaker 2: and you're running. It sounds like yes, So I mean,
Speaker 2: what an amazing symbolism really that your dream mind came
Speaker 2: up with. So do you do you mind if we
Speaker 2: go a little further.
Speaker 1: Into oh, let's let's let's yeah.
Speaker 2: Now you said you stopped having it. And that's the
Speaker 2: cool thing about dreams is we really only have the
Speaker 2: dreams as we need those dreams. Dreams are a type
Speaker 2: of reflection of what's needed now. So when you're having
Speaker 2: a dream, usually it's dealing with better emotional coping, consolidating,
Speaker 2: integrating of something right now. I'm needing to learn how
Speaker 2: to move through or beyond or find a way to
Speaker 2: handle when it's a negative dream. So you can think
Speaker 2: of it like an exposure therapy in that way, it's
Speaker 2: forcing you to uplevel what this feels like to be
Speaker 2: me right now. And so when you're in that dream
Speaker 2: and you're having it. A good way to start to understand, well,
Speaker 2: why would I be having that dream is rather than
Speaker 2: worry too much about the symbolism at first, because that
Speaker 2: can be tricky, is well, what's the emotional story I'm
Speaker 2: having to deal with in the dream? Because my dream
Speaker 2: is trying to up level my capacity to handle some
Speaker 2: emotional story I'm integrating. So this idea of I'm trying
Speaker 2: to escape or not have to face or get away from,
Speaker 2: this idea of something coming and wrecking, right, just demolishing.
Speaker 2: There may have been during the time you kept getting
Speaker 2: thrown into that dream, something where an aspect of you
Speaker 2: just was trying to either not have to confront or
Speaker 2: face or afraid of what might happen in the face
Speaker 2: of something.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2: But then as you started to work with your ability
Speaker 2: to kind of be present and mindful and handle maybe
Speaker 2: your own inner well being, suddenly you don't need that
Speaker 2: dream anymore. Right, because life will throw us what feels
Speaker 2: like a wrecking ball from time to time. How do
Speaker 2: we handle it is really the key And and you've
Speaker 2: up leveled your capacity to handle certain things that may
Speaker 2: be coming at you. Well, that dream doesn't need to
Speaker 2: bother you anymore because you did the work.
Speaker 1: Okay. Oh my gosh, okay got it?
Speaker 2: So yeah, for you, thank you.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Yes, it makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1: It makes so much sense, Leah. So do you believe
Speaker 1: in dream catchers?
Speaker 2: I love dream catchers as a symbol, and I think
Speaker 2: for children they can be a wonderful thing too, because children,
Speaker 2: when they first start remembering their dream life, children can
Speaker 2: have really scary dreams because they're dealing with a lot
Speaker 2: of upleveling of how to handle life, and they have
Speaker 2: minimal control in life, and all these learnings and making
Speaker 2: friends and dealing with things that are going on in
Speaker 2: their life they can't control can bring on a lot
Speaker 2: of scary dreams. And dream catchers are beautiful symbolism, kind
Speaker 2: of based in Native American tribal tradition, and there's a
Speaker 2: story behind them. There's a few stories, but the most
Speaker 2: widely used story is a grandmother whose grandson comes into
Speaker 2: the room and goes to swat a spider, and the
Speaker 2: grandmother says, oh, no, grandson, don't we don't kill the spider.
Speaker 2: And when the grandson left, the spider was so grateful
Speaker 2: that he wove her a beautiful web and said this
Speaker 2: will keep all the negative dreams away or all the
Speaker 2: nightmares away. And then there's usually like a little maybe
Speaker 2: crystal in the middle, and the idea is that it
Speaker 2: it keeps the negative dreams coming from coming through. And
Speaker 2: sometimes just putting something like this in our vicinity to
Speaker 2: alleviate our worries for the nightmares, to believe something can
Speaker 2: help with the nightmares. It does a lot to help mentally.
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, story a woman shared with me. She
Speaker 2: said she gave her her son a dream catcher, but
Speaker 2: he was kind of upset about the fact that dreams
Speaker 2: were all caught up in there. So I suggested maybe
Speaker 2: we go out and shake it out every morning.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, maybe it needs to be cleansed. It needs
Speaker 1: to be clean cleansing. Yes, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: buy one from my dog because my dog, I feel like,
Speaker 1: dreams a lot. He's like on the floor there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's probably chasing a rabbit or round for the ball.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I was like, see dogs dream too, both of them?
Speaker 2: They do? They do?
Speaker 1: Ye? So are there benefits to dreaming? Do they help
Speaker 1: us at all? When we're awake.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there is a lot of consensus that there's still
Speaker 2: a lot of debate in the scientific community about a
Speaker 2: lot to do with dreams, but at this point quite
Speaker 2: a bit of consensus around the fact that we're getting
Speaker 2: some really important benefits from the dream time even if
Speaker 2: we don't do anything with them, even if we're not
Speaker 2: remembering them, they're doing a lot to really help us regulate.
Speaker 2: They are like an overnight therapy. Have you ever gone
Speaker 2: to bed just not sure how you're going to handle tomorrow,
Speaker 2: and then you wake up it's just a little muted,
Speaker 2: not nearly as feeling as intense. That's not just time
Speaker 2: that went by. That's the work of the dream life.
Speaker 2: That's helping you up level your capacity to deal with life.
Speaker 2: And then they're doing a lot to integrate the learning
Speaker 2: and memory from the day. If you're lacking in sleep,
Speaker 2: you're gonna be lacking in dreams. It's gonna be harder
Speaker 2: to remember what you were learning yesterday and really work
Speaker 2: with that. But they're really good at also helping us
Speaker 2: come up with creative solutions to problems. So sometimes you
Speaker 2: may go to bed with a problem and wake up
Speaker 2: with an answer. A solution.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that true for sure. Absolutely, I don't know what
Speaker 1: I dreamt at all, Like I don't. I feel like
Speaker 1: I didn't have I didn't dream at all. But then
Speaker 1: I do wake up and I'm like, I'm not as
Speaker 1: stressed out as I was yesterday. Oh it's not that bad.
Speaker 1: Here's here's the answer to that.
Speaker 2: Exactly. Sleep on it is very sage advice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sleep on it. Yep, that's okay, you're right. Usually
Speaker 1: my sister she's huge on like, oh if I had
Speaker 1: a dream and I saw this, like she really really
Speaker 1: believes that it's like a sign from God, and she'll
Speaker 1: usually Google sometimes it kind of like there's so many
Speaker 1: different answers that I'm like, which one do I even believe?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe none of them until you go inward
Speaker 2: with it. My first way of trying to work with
Speaker 2: dreams now, there were no Google searches. Way back when
Speaker 2: I was first starting thirty years ago. I would have
Speaker 2: been all over Google about it, I'm sure, and I
Speaker 2: instead found what we're called dream dictionaries. Have you ever
Speaker 2: seen one of these? It's like a book that essentially
Speaker 2: does the same thing. You look up a symbol. This
Speaker 2: is what it means you look up a theme. This
Speaker 2: is what it means more art Not really, No, I thought, brilliant,
Speaker 2: someone knows what all this is. Well, here's the thing.
Speaker 2: It gives you a really good understanding that dreams come
Speaker 2: from a very different type of languaging. It's more of
Speaker 2: a right brain story language. So thinking about your wrecking
Speaker 2: ball dream that didn't look anything like waking life, you
Speaker 2: could wake up and say, nothing to do with my
Speaker 2: waking life. But metaphorically, symbolically, emotionally, it was based on
Speaker 2: some true story going on with you. But it's throwing
Speaker 2: you into a metaphor about it, an analogy of it,
Speaker 2: so that you can integrate that story into your greater
Speaker 2: sense of self in a wonderful way. So dreams are
Speaker 2: not working left brain rational linear and dream dictionaries Google
Speaker 2: searches can teach us about how to consider the metaphor
Speaker 2: consider the idea the dream is sharing. But when we
Speaker 2: really want to understand why did I have this dream
Speaker 2: at this moment, it's so important that the dreamer start within,
Speaker 2: like what am I feeling in that dream? What am
Speaker 2: I thinking in that dream? Is usually your number one
Speaker 2: clue what's triggering this dream? And sometimes we look outside
Speaker 2: of ourselves assume some great dream knower knows what my
Speaker 2: dream means. When I stopped trying to look outside myself
Speaker 2: and assume someone else could tell me what my dream
Speaker 2: meant and realize this is inner work. I've got to
Speaker 2: learn how to do. And yeah, there's techniques and there's
Speaker 2: tips for how, but it still means I have to
Speaker 2: be along for the right. Someone outside of me cannot
Speaker 2: blindly know what my dream means.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's always inward, definitely with everything, with a lot
Speaker 1: of things. And I've learned that later in my life.
Speaker 1: But yeah, because I mean you Google even oh I
Speaker 1: feel this in my back and you just start diagnosing
Speaker 1: and Google just further confuses you.
Speaker 2: So yeah, and a lot of different possibil answers. Oh
Speaker 2: you know, a good dream dictionary, good good Google search
Speaker 2: is going to give you it could be this, or
Speaker 2: it could be that, or could be this, And they're like, okay,
Speaker 2: what is it. We'll go inward. Rumy had a great quote,
Speaker 2: he said, and sometimes you are looking among the branches
Speaker 2: for what only appears in the roots. And I love
Speaker 2: that bad idea.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I love that. Yes, So okay, now
Speaker 1: that we're you know, talking about this, I do want
Speaker 1: to ask you. My husband just had a dream, a
Speaker 1: nightmare actually, a couple of nights ago, and he just said,
Speaker 1: oh my god, it was horrible, felt so real. So
Speaker 1: basically he got shot in his Did anything bad happen
Speaker 1: or just got shotted? Oh my god? No, okay, So
Speaker 1: he just told me that he got shot and that
Speaker 1: he was in the hospital and he died. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: And in the Latin culture they say bring light to
Speaker 1: the dream, so it doesn't come true. So I'm saying
Speaker 1: it out loud so everyone can here, because I don't
Speaker 1: want it to come true. God, good for you. But yes,
Speaker 1: but but what do you I mean, what can you? So?
Speaker 2: I mean dreams generally speaking, media has perpetuated a lot
Speaker 2: of fear and superstition and fortune telling ideas around dreams.
Speaker 2: And first of all, cheese. I'm not going to say
Speaker 2: dreams can never have warnings or information that we can say, Okay,
Speaker 2: if this were or could happen, is there anything I
Speaker 2: could or should do? And yet it's usually nothing rational,
Speaker 2: nothing linear. It's more I'm working through a story. I'm
Speaker 2: going through I, for whatever it's worth, have died multiple
Speaker 2: times in my dreams.
Speaker 1: And it's so many times you've been what, I feel
Speaker 1: like I've fallen. I'm literally asleep and I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm falling or something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's very common. We can circle back to that.
Speaker 2: But yeah, that's that's a terrible dream to wake up from.
Speaker 2: Right when you're you've been shot, you're in the hospital. Uh.
Speaker 2: And I would say, the best way to start to
Speaker 2: work with that dream is, Okay, while I was in
Speaker 2: the dream, what was what was really going on for
Speaker 2: me emotionally? What was I thinking? Because oftentimes our dreams,
Speaker 2: like I said, are working with an emotional story or
Speaker 2: process scene and looking at the dream close to when
Speaker 2: we had it is a great timing because you kind
Speaker 2: of know what was going on yesterday, the day before. Where,
Speaker 2: if anywhere, in my waking life do I understand this emotionality.
Speaker 2: But dreams exaggerate because they're trying to up level us.
Speaker 2: So it's like, well, I don't, I don't really feel
Speaker 2: like I'm going to die, And yet in waking life
Speaker 2: we often say things like, oh my gosh, this is
Speaker 2: going to kill me. I don't know how to you know,
Speaker 2: face this, But getting shot is a very interesting metaphor, right,
Speaker 2: like some like it would be interesting to know where
Speaker 2: did he get shot? How did he get shot?
Speaker 1: You know, Okay, yeah, it's probably Also I've noticed that
Speaker 1: if like you're thinking of something or worried about something
Speaker 1: a lot, then you know and it makes sense. I
Speaker 1: mean that's what I thought, That's what I made out
Speaker 1: of it. I'm like, Okay, that's not going to happen.
Speaker 1: You are taking care of We were protected. I think
Speaker 1: it's just he was out of town and he worries
Speaker 1: about me being home alone, and I don't know, maybe.
Speaker 2: Yes, let's send let's send very healing, wonderful light all around.
Speaker 2: What's your husband's name? Amelio is going to be safe
Speaker 2: and sound. But it would be really interesting for him
Speaker 2: too if he wanted to kind of understand, well, why
Speaker 2: would I have such a dream. His next steps would
Speaker 2: really be to kind of reconnect with while I was
Speaker 2: in the dream, what was I thinking, what was I feeling,
Speaker 2: and then really look at what was just happening and
Speaker 2: where that emotionality resides and any other elements of the dream.
Speaker 2: But yeah, dreams like that, we are like, oh what
Speaker 2: does that mean? And very often it's just a direct
Speaker 2: reflection of something that we just did. Feel like this
Speaker 2: hit me, this, this got me this, you know. And
Speaker 2: the thing about death in dreams is so often it's this.
Speaker 2: You know, if you think of have you ever had
Speaker 2: a tarot reading, yes, yes, and the death card comes up,
Speaker 2: you might be like, oh, you know, but really it's
Speaker 2: a transformation card. It's a it's a card about letting
Speaker 2: an aspect of self die or a way of being
Speaker 2: die so that we can emerge anew. And death and
Speaker 2: dreams are so often related to this moment where something
Speaker 2: has to be completely like you know, transformed, or we
Speaker 2: just did have something where we have to completely let
Speaker 2: that die so we can kind of renew, so.
Speaker 1: Like die to self.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really a release in transformation kind of experience.
Speaker 2: And most of the people I've worked with, when they've
Speaker 2: had a death dream, there's usually is something that they
Speaker 2: just had to really come to an awareness I've got
Speaker 2: to let this go, I've got to move beyond this,
Speaker 2: I've got to let this die off kind of a thing.
Speaker 1: So what about lucid dreams. I know you talk about lucidness.
Speaker 2: Have you ever been in dreams and you know you're
Speaker 2: dreaming yes. Yeah. Have you ever been for a while
Speaker 2: in a dream and know your dream or do you
Speaker 2: just tend to wake up.
Speaker 1: I've had dreams where I'm in the dream and I'm
Speaker 1: hoping and praying, I hope this is a dream, please
Speaker 1: don't let this be real, and then you wake up
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, thank god, it's not real.
Speaker 2: Sort of feel okay, so you kind of have a
Speaker 2: sense this could be a dream. Let's hope it's a dream.
Speaker 1: Yes, but I've never really been, I think, in a
Speaker 1: dream dreaming.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what scientists back in
Speaker 2: the seventies were trying to originally prove this is possible,
Speaker 2: that you can be in a dream and aware you're dreaming.
Speaker 2: And a lot of the scientific community was saying, no,
Speaker 2: that's not possible, you're just dreaming, you're dreaming. But they
Speaker 2: did scientifically end up proving this, and there's a lot
Speaker 2: of science now around lucid dreaming. Even having two way
Speaker 2: dialogue with dreamers at this point through eye signals and
Speaker 2: things like that quite fascinating. So when you're in a
Speaker 2: dream and you suddenly are aware, oh, this is a dream,
Speaker 2: you did just click into a new type of dream awareness.
Speaker 2: Before you were kind of lost to the dream. You
Speaker 2: didn't have your prefrontal cortex clicked on, which is that
Speaker 2: a rationing, reasoning, linear thinking self. But sometimes you're asleep
Speaker 2: and in a dream and that can click on, usually
Speaker 2: by something that shocks you or surprises you, and it
Speaker 2: gets that fact checker like boom, wait a minute. Now.
Speaker 2: Some people really have this skill, and I a long
Speaker 2: time ago really worked to gain this skill for myself
Speaker 2: because I wanted to see, could really anyone do this?
Speaker 2: But we can sustain that, we can stay in the
Speaker 2: dream while or where we're in a dream and actually
Speaker 2: interact with the dream and co create from within the
Speaker 2: dream and have spiritual connection in the dream. It's quite
Speaker 2: a fascinating thing. And a lot of people these days
Speaker 2: are very interested in connecting with their dream realm in
Speaker 2: this very interesting way. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I well, my mom passed away twelve
Speaker 1: years ago. Yeah, I've drempt with her three times, maybe
Speaker 1: three times, And I think and people when people ask me,
Speaker 1: like when I'm doing interviews there, they asked me, have
Speaker 1: you dreamt your mom or when her anniversary is gonna
Speaker 1: come around? And I think the few times that I
Speaker 1: did dream with her. They felt so real that when
Speaker 1: I woke up, I'd be really sad for like the
Speaker 1: next three days, or it would just really take a
Speaker 1: toll on me on my emotional state. So I think, well,
Speaker 1: maybe she doesn't like to come visit me as much
Speaker 1: because she knows it really affects me. Now I'm like, Mom,
Speaker 1: it's been years. I want to see you, I want
Speaker 1: to hug you. And I'm like, she's just probably busy,
Speaker 1: you know what I want to think.
Speaker 2: So it's an amazing thing to have a spiritual connection
Speaker 2: of that type in the dream realm, and it does
Speaker 2: show us that you know, a person has never gone
Speaker 2: in our heart and that we do have that ability
Speaker 2: to still connect. And was your sadness because it was
Speaker 2: just bringing back your loss and you just had this
Speaker 2: moment and you know, kind of why can't I have
Speaker 2: more of that?
Speaker 1: Yes, I think it was more of only in one
Speaker 1: dream she gave me a hug and she looked just
Speaker 1: so beautiful. It was crazy. Other than that, the other
Speaker 1: two were business as usual. You know. It was okay,
Speaker 1: the kids, the house, and I mean, nothing really specific,
Speaker 1: but it was always that, you know, we're taking care
Speaker 1: of business. Sort of thing, and I thought, Okay, yea,
Speaker 1: even though she's gone or she's in, she's graduated is
Speaker 1: what we like to call it. She's still we're still
Speaker 1: getting things done. We're still a power team, I guess.
Speaker 1: But I still would get sad, you know, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I miss her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, of course. So it's beautiful we still
Speaker 2: get to have that experience and we can encourage it
Speaker 2: to show up. I am a firm believer that spirit
Speaker 2: can pierce the dream realm. I also know that sometimes
Speaker 2: if I have a deceased level one comes through my dream,
Speaker 2: I've had a spiritual connection. Oftentimes, like your amazing hug,
Speaker 2: that's such a moment with spirit. Other times we have
Speaker 2: dreams where so one we love who has passed is
Speaker 2: in the dream, but they're just kind of part of
Speaker 2: the dream with us in the dream. And don't underestimate this.
Speaker 2: Sometimes our dream mind may actually pull in our version
Speaker 2: of our mom, or our uncle or our grandmother if
Speaker 2: right now we need aspects of that person in the
Speaker 2: dream to work through what we're going through. So just
Speaker 2: like when you wake up and you have a buddy,
Speaker 2: a good friend who showed up in your dream, you
Speaker 2: might be Oh, you were in my dream, but you
Speaker 2: kind of know it wasn't really them. I think dreams
Speaker 2: can utilize our ideas of even someone who's passed in
Speaker 2: the dream when we're dealing with trades, personalities, characteristics that
Speaker 2: the dream needs to work with that we equate to them.
Speaker 2: But that hug, that wonderful hug, such a perfect example
Speaker 2: of when spirit enters into our dream realm. It's so
Speaker 2: often this amazing moment of true connection. And if you
Speaker 2: want to have that connection more, it does start with
Speaker 2: remember dreams. Because here's the thing, chick, is, you may
Speaker 2: be having more of those dreams and you just don't remember.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe she doesn't come visit me because I get
Speaker 1: a lot of ideas, a lot you're.
Speaker 2: Forgetting a lot of them. It's possible those connections are
Speaker 2: there even when you don't remember them. But put her
Speaker 2: picture by your nightstand or journal about you know, your
Speaker 2: desire to see her or pray or connect with her
Speaker 2: in some way before you go to sleep, and say, hey,
Speaker 2: visit me, and you might be surprised.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I think it's probably should be something like
Speaker 1: what when I'm praying at night and just say hey, mom,
Speaker 1: I'd like to see you. It's been it's been some time.
Speaker 1: It's been like a good five six years, I think.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And to your point, if if there's an awareness
Speaker 2: that this is overwhelming for you or leads to some sadness,
Speaker 2: well no, you know, she wouldn't want you to have
Speaker 2: the sadness. But you know, if you've ever sat down
Speaker 2: with a medium, usually the first thing they do is
Speaker 2: invite spirit in. And sometimes we just need to invite
Speaker 2: spirit in.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, maybe I think maybe emotionally, subconsciously, I was
Speaker 1: kind of just, oh, it's going to hurt sort of thing.
Speaker 1: But now I'm ready. I feel stronger, So I definitely
Speaker 1: want to see her. I want to know what she's
Speaker 1: up to, you know. Yeah. Yeah, And then we have
Speaker 1: those dreams. I don't know if this has ever happened
Speaker 1: to you or to anyone that's listening, but I've had
Speaker 1: those dreams when I'm fighting and I and I'm throwing
Speaker 1: punches and I just it's so frustrating because I can't
Speaker 1: hit them. I'm like, what does that mean? I'm like,
Speaker 1: am I just just releasing frustration? I guess retention I'm assuming.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So yeah, when was the last time you think
Speaker 2: you had.
Speaker 1: That dream, Oh that was years ago. That was okay,
Speaker 1: I want to say, I don't know, good seven years ago.
Speaker 1: Probably it's been a while she had an angry dream
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I mean probably around seven years ago you
Speaker 2: moved through something that made that dream no longer like
Speaker 2: you no longer need a dad dream at that point.
Speaker 2: But up into that point, so while you would be
Speaker 2: in that dream, it would be frustrating. You're trying to
Speaker 2: connect a punch or make an impact. Your goal was
Speaker 2: what to fight them off or hurt them? What was
Speaker 2: your goal?
Speaker 1: Usually I don't remember, to be honest, but it was
Speaker 1: it was just we were arguing and I don't even
Speaker 1: know if it was a girl or a guy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just hitting and I couldn't reach a person.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, So yeah, that's that frustration. I can't I
Speaker 2: can't connect, I can't you know, I can't. I can't
Speaker 2: make the impact I want to make here. You know,
Speaker 2: it's kind of what seems to be happening in a
Speaker 2: dream like that. And so there might have been a
Speaker 2: frustration during a certain period of your life while you
Speaker 2: had that dream a lot where you were really frustrated
Speaker 2: at trying to make some sort of connection, make an impact,
Speaker 2: or fend something off that you just didn't have quite
Speaker 2: the ability to make that that that hit.
Speaker 1: Yep. Absolutely. If it was about seven years ago, I
Speaker 1: want to say, I know exactly where I was in
Speaker 1: my personal life and in my career, and I was
Speaker 1: very frustrated. Yep, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: And so here's the thing. The beautiful thing about those
Speaker 2: dreams at that time is we do have to stifle
Speaker 2: a lot of how we feel in our waking life
Speaker 2: just to be normal human beings and deal with society.
Speaker 2: Like you can't actually out of your frustration go flailing
Speaker 2: around hitting at people, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So now in our dream life, however, we do get
Speaker 2: this wonderful opportunity to truly get it out. And that's healthy.
Speaker 2: I mean, there is an equilibrium that we're getting when
Speaker 2: there is, at least at a soul level, the capacity
Speaker 2: to flail, to scream, to fight. And yeah, we don't
Speaker 2: like that dream perhaps, but know that even in the
Speaker 2: ability to really try, and we weren't made in the connection,
Speaker 2: which was you know, part of the symbolism, the metaphor
Speaker 2: of you know, you can take consciousness and say, okay,
Speaker 2: how do I better make this, you know, happen. But
Speaker 2: even from within a dream, you let loose of some
Speaker 2: steam that really needed to get let loose of. So
Speaker 2: yay for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're right. There's always something positive. See. I like you, Leah.
Speaker 1: I like you because that's the way I like to think.
Speaker 1: I'm like you know, there always has to be something
Speaker 1: beautiful or something positive. You can pull out of every situation,
Speaker 1: even a dream, because yeah I can't. You're right. As
Speaker 1: much as I'd like to slap a few people, I
Speaker 1: should not do that in your dreams.
Speaker 2: You can get away with that. And here's the thing.
Speaker 2: Every one of your dreams, whether you call it bad,
Speaker 2: whether you call it sad, whether you you know, they're
Speaker 2: all have a purpose to help you be more balanced,
Speaker 2: more whole, more emotionally grounded, more able to cope. And
Speaker 2: so that's where I come back to those negative dreams,
Speaker 2: which we may like, there's something in there for us
Speaker 2: to learn from always, and even if we don't learn
Speaker 2: the lesson of the dream consciously, usually the dream in
Speaker 2: and of itself did some work that is helping us.
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, I love that. And is there anything that
Speaker 1: you recommend for better sleep? For having more joyful dream
Speaker 1: Should I say?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, everyone wants that flying up above the clouds, happy,
Speaker 2: blissful and free dream.
Speaker 1: In my own utopia.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's the dream I want. So here's the thing.
Speaker 2: Dreams are going to, by nature, flag and prioritize the
Speaker 2: thing we've placed the most importance and emotion on, and
Speaker 2: they have really important work to do so, especially if
Speaker 2: there's things in our life we just you know, have
Speaker 2: to like I can't deal with that right now. I can't.
Speaker 2: But there's a part of us bothered or frustrated or
Speaker 2: sad or lonely or mad or stressed. The dreams are
Speaker 2: going to try to up level and confront and consolidate
Speaker 2: and integrate that. And on some level we actually need
Speaker 2: our dreams to be doing that, so they can be
Speaker 2: a good reflection that I have something that wants me
Speaker 2: to better up level or work through. And the more
Speaker 2: we were willing to look at those dreams and consider
Speaker 2: them and get support and doing so, the better we
Speaker 2: can move through them and not need them anymore. Just
Speaker 2: like your wrecking ball dream, you don't need that dream
Speaker 2: no more. Yeah, if you were still having that dream,
Speaker 2: you wouldn't have yet figured out how to handle those
Speaker 2: life circumstances. So when all is said and done, though,
Speaker 2: when we go to sleep, we are going into the
Speaker 2: night of sleep with certain things most recently on our mind.
Speaker 2: And the more peace and harmony we're bringing into the
Speaker 2: night of sleep, certainly, the sweeter we are probably set
Speaker 2: up our dream life to be. Some of us go
Speaker 2: to bed watching what I like to coin as murder, death,
Speaker 2: kill shows.
Speaker 1: That was me. I would always follow the Super Forensic Files.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my husband was so addicted to that show and
Speaker 2: he was having all these terrible I was like, well,
Speaker 2: maybe we need to, like wean you off right before
Speaker 2: bed watching a bunch of things about murder and death.
Speaker 2: So the thing that we go to bed with just
Speaker 2: last on our mind. Or if you're like binge watching
Speaker 2: some kind of serial killer show, of course, you know,
Speaker 2: the more you're caught up in that, the more that's
Speaker 2: lingering with you too, and your your Dreamlind doesn't really
Speaker 2: differentiate between the emotions I have about some media I'm
Speaker 2: taking in and my true like life. So before we
Speaker 2: go to bed, we should do a little ritual, even
Speaker 2: if it's just for a few minutes, to come back
Speaker 2: to a sense of spiritual wholeness and wellness. For those
Speaker 2: of us who pray, that's a great time to do that.
Speaker 2: For those of us who don't pray, just anything that
Speaker 2: connects you with your spiritual sense of self that takes
Speaker 2: you to a place of feeling whole and happy, visualizing
Speaker 2: how perfect tomorrow could go. It would be a great
Speaker 2: way to end your day. Journal about the things that
Speaker 2: are important to you on your mind. Maybe even send
Speaker 2: a request off to your Dreamlind dreams, help me solve this,
Speaker 2: help me figure this out, and feel like you're handing
Speaker 2: it off for the night. But the more we go
Speaker 2: to bed with a sense of peace and harmony, the
Speaker 2: more we're going to set ourselves up for a more
Speaker 2: sweet night of sleep. And then in general, the more
Speaker 2: we're able to learn how to handle the and cope
Speaker 2: with the stressors we have in our life, the less
Speaker 2: our dreams are going to need to tackle that for us.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I've definitely learned that if I want to
Speaker 1: see my mom, I should invite her in yes, right
Speaker 1: before I go to sleep. What has helped me personally
Speaker 1: is sleep music. I love sleep music. I try not
Speaker 1: to watch anything scarier Forensic files for a while now
Speaker 1: my husband and I try to at least just okay,
Speaker 1: it's time to go to sleep. Let's put to sleep
Speaker 1: music right after our show, because yeah, I think I
Speaker 1: don't know where we read it, but it's very important,
Speaker 1: like the last thirty or sixty minutes before going to sleep,
Speaker 1: like what you just said, making sure that you're feeding
Speaker 1: your soul in your brain something nice and positive so
Speaker 1: that you don't have bad dreams and have a good
Speaker 1: night's rest.
Speaker 2: So, yes, we tend to just crash into the bed,
Speaker 2: versus have a intentional way of sending ourselves off to sleep.
Speaker 2: And I always encourage you, we adults, we need to
Speaker 2: talk into you know, we need a ritual this as
Speaker 2: let's feel cozy and comforted and tell ourselves a good
Speaker 2: story before bed.
Speaker 1: You know, yes, yes, and see you guys. I always
Speaker 1: say that word lea. I always a intentional. I feel
Speaker 1: like you have to be intentional in everything in life.
Speaker 1: So there it is. You were meant to be on
Speaker 1: this podcast. I see it almost every episode. But okay,
Speaker 1: so you do give consultations on your website, right? Can
Speaker 1: you please let people know where they can find you
Speaker 1: and how they can connect with you. Yes, your social
Speaker 1: media perfect.
Speaker 2: Yes, Well, if anyone's ever in Arizona and go into
Speaker 2: Mirravel Resort, just such an amazing place to spend time
Speaker 2: for the spirit, for the soul, for you know, no
Speaker 2: matter what, you're into their stuff there. I do workshops, lectures,
Speaker 2: private sessions there at Merrival, but also I do a
Speaker 2: lot of private coaching for dreamwork as well as sleep
Speaker 2: wellness via zoom or phone for people who aren't in
Speaker 2: Arizona or Tucson. My website is Leah l e A H.
Speaker 2: Bolan b like Boyo, l like Laura E n like
Speaker 2: Nancy Leahboland dot com. And I also have a podcast
Speaker 2: all about dream work. So if someone wants to learn
Speaker 2: more about my kind of techniques for working with dreams,
Speaker 2: they can go to dream Interpretation Station, which is anywhere
Speaker 2: you listen to podcasts, or you can go to dream
Speaker 2: Interpretationstation dot com.
Speaker 1: I love that you are so sweet. I've been pronouncing
Speaker 1: your name wrong the entire time and you haven't told me.
Speaker 2: Oh, I go by Leya all the time.
Speaker 1: Okay, go Leah or Leah Leah or.
Speaker 2: I always if it's not remembering my name, I'll tell
Speaker 2: them just remember Princess Leah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Princess Leah, and that's what I was thinking of
Speaker 1: the whole time. There you go. Okay, awesome, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: So you're in Arizona. I love Sedona, Arizona. I went
Speaker 1: there a while ago by myself. It was years ago.
Speaker 1: I took a drive out there. It was amazing. How
Speaker 1: far are you from Sadonah.
Speaker 2: So Sedona, that's gonna be about you talking the three
Speaker 2: and a half four hours.
Speaker 1: Away, Okay, but still it'll be worth it. I can
Speaker 1: maybe go there and then go visit you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you would love Miravalta. It's really one of
Speaker 2: those destinations spa settings where it's not just a spa,
Speaker 2: but it's got just so many programs for whatever someone's
Speaker 2: interested in, but people really go there to restore their
Speaker 2: well being.
Speaker 1: I love that. I think I definitely need that in
Speaker 1: the beginning of the year. So I might just be
Speaker 1: hitting you up so you can give me some some
Speaker 1: places to visit and all that good stuff.
Speaker 2: It sounds great. I so enjoyed spending time with you.
Speaker 1: Likewise, Leah, Leah, I love them both. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I appreciate your time. I learned a lot and I
Speaker 1: think yes, guys, I think it's important to just shed
Speaker 1: light on everything. There's always something positive and beautiful that
Speaker 1: you can pull out of everything, and something we can
Speaker 1: learn from everything, especially and more dreams as well. So
Speaker 1: thank you so much for your time. I appreciate Oh,
Speaker 1: thank you.
Speaker 2: I'm wishing you and all your listeners the sweetest your dreams.
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. And I'll keep you
Speaker 1: updated on if my mom comes back into my dreams. Yay.
Speaker 2: I would love to know.
Speaker 1: All right, awesome, Thank you guys, thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: You know I love you. I appreciate you. And this
Speaker 1: is a podcast where you come to learn and to
Speaker 1: grow and to become the best version of yourself. Cheeky's
Speaker 1: and Chill. Do you need advice on love, relationships, health emails?
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to share with you that my Cheekies
Speaker 1: and Chill podcast will have an extra episode drop each week.
Speaker 1: I'll be answering all your questions. Just leave me a
Speaker 1: voice message. All you have to do is go to
Speaker 1: speak pipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill podcasts and
Speaker 1: record your questions. I can't wait to hear from you.
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