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Speaker 1: Hey, this is johnnas Is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming.

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Speaker 2: Up, but before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 2: break from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 1: My dad told me I have a brother from an

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Speaker 1: affair twenty three years ago. Oh my, but I mean,

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Speaker 1: we got to let it go.

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Speaker 3: It's twenty three years.

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Speaker 2: People trained didn't have it.

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Speaker 1: But my mom and my dad have been together for

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Speaker 1: what would have been thirty years this December. I just

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Speaker 1: turned twenty three last week. I live with the both

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Speaker 1: of them. My dad is a truck driver, so he's

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Speaker 1: not home some days, and he called me today and

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Speaker 1: told me he had something serious to tell me. I

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Speaker 1: immediately thought, my granny day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I hate it when people call me a like

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Speaker 2: late at nine and I'm like, oh, who does I

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Speaker 2: asked my mom the old time.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, my mind never goes there. That's sad.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2: Everyone's old.

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Speaker 1: It's fine, everyone's old. By the way, This comes from

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Speaker 1: brisket Witch on the Okay Storytime subreddit. Opie says he

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Speaker 1: just flat out said me and your mom are separating.

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Speaker 1: I asked he was joking, probably about ten times he wasn't.

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Speaker 1: He told me that when my mom and him were

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Speaker 1: grieving my older brother. Oh god, the dative heart problems

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Speaker 1: within months of being born in ninety nine. Oh mind,

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Speaker 1: he had an affair with another woman.

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Speaker 2: To relieve the stress.

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Speaker 1: No, No, that's like the worst time. It's the worst time.

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Speaker 1: But I think people do when there's wild stuff happening,

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Speaker 1: that's what they is. She ended up having a son,

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Speaker 1: so he is my half brother. He is six months

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Speaker 1: older than me and my twin brother. My dad gave

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Speaker 1: him his middle name. Apparently he lives where I went

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Speaker 1: to college and knows about us. I don't know how

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Speaker 1: active my dad has been in his life. Anyways, my

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Speaker 1: parents made the decision to continue their marriage regardless and

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Speaker 1: not tell us about our brother. That's messed up.

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Speaker 2: I understand getting through like an affair and having another kid,

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Speaker 2: But an affair another kid, and he gave him his

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Speaker 2: middle name.

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Speaker 1: He got caught about the middle day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's pretty personal.

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Speaker 1: That is personal, and I'd be like you like him

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Speaker 1: more than me, dad. I asked my dad when they

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Speaker 1: decided they were separating, and apparently my mom has been

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Speaker 1: avoiding the subject and has some deep rooted trustee she

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Speaker 1: is chucks out. Yeah, he decided it was the end,

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Speaker 1: and when my mom said she wouldn't tell us, he

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Speaker 1: decided to do it like this. He always gets very

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Speaker 1: stoic and professional when serious stuff happens. He kept saying

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Speaker 1: there's no other man or woman, and he told me

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Speaker 1: it was just between the two of them, and that

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Speaker 1: therapy wouldn't fix it and he can't see it ever

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Speaker 1: working out ever. Again. I kept asking him why and

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Speaker 1: how he did it and how did it get to

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Speaker 1: this point, and he got mad at me and told

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Speaker 1: me to stop asking questions. Okay, Dad, you gotta stop.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we just hear me out.

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Speaker 1: He said that he doesn't want me to have to

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Speaker 1: choose sides, and so he'd rather have me see him

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Speaker 1: as the villain than my mom.

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Speaker 2: Well I do.

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Speaker 1: I asked him if he'd ever tell me, and he

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Speaker 1: said no. First of all, why are you telling me

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Speaker 1: like this? He had more tact telling me we were

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Speaker 1: moving states when I was twelve, even though he knew

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Speaker 1: I'd be heartbroken. Instead of sitting me down and telling

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Speaker 1: me like an adult, he calls me and abruptly drops

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Speaker 1: this on me. I don't understand how you could think

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Speaker 1: this is the way to do it. It was a

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Speaker 1: twenty minute call, and before he hung up, he kept

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Speaker 1: making me promise I'd be okay and that I'd talked

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Speaker 1: to him if I was frustrated because of my depression

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Speaker 1: and past attempts. Oh no, yeah, this is really is

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Speaker 1: getting dark. This is tough. I told him I thought

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Speaker 1: he was taking the cheap and he's way out by

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Speaker 1: not telling me anything. He just said maybe I am.

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Speaker 1: Apparently he's moving out in the next couple weeks. We

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Speaker 1: literally just went out to the movies and to eat

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Speaker 1: together multiple times, and we were all joking and laughing

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Speaker 1: about their first dates and whatnot. I can't imagine you're

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Speaker 1: just like with your kids, pretending everything's cool and holding

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Speaker 1: this bag. Yeah, that makes it even worse. There was

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Speaker 1: one awkward moment when I asked how long they had

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Speaker 1: been married again, and my mom quietly said almost thirty years.

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Speaker 1: Oh I feel so bad for her.

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Speaker 2: Oh no.

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Speaker 1: Ooh some drama. I'm more hurt by them pretending everything

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Speaker 1: was happy, go lucky than actually separating. I was just

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Speaker 1: telling my boyfriend how much I'm excited for him to

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Speaker 1: see my parents. Funny and sweet, dynamic at Thanksgiving. Now

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Speaker 1: we're probably not even doing anything for Thanksgiving. I've always

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Speaker 1: seen the relationship as my goal for love, and I

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Speaker 1: have that with my boyfriend of five years. But now

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Speaker 1: I just feel kind of lot. Oh no, I can

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Speaker 1: imagine that would shatter you.

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Speaker 2: Because it's like Bill on lies yeaes, the father did something,

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Speaker 2: and he's kept this a secret for so long. It's

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Speaker 2: a facade. He probably worked it out in so many cases.

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Speaker 1: Right, But yeah, I can imagine you're like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: my parents love each other. They're so trusting, it's amazing.

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Speaker 1: And then oh wait, yeah, I don't believe in love

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Speaker 1: it all.

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Speaker 2: And he's probably seen the son a lot too, being

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Speaker 2: a truck driver.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, ob he says. I love them both terribly.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like everything's been shattered. My dad is

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Speaker 1: a liar and a cheat, and my mom is a victim.

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Speaker 1: And I never knew. My poor mom was sobbing to

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Speaker 1: me earlier today about our family stressors, and now I

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Speaker 1: realize it was probably mainly about this. Yeah, I can't

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Speaker 1: imagine what she's feeling. She's texting me normally and probably

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Speaker 1: doesn't know I know yet whoa Oh, I didn't realize

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Speaker 1: that I didn't realize that Mom didn't know the dad's

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Speaker 1: telling them.

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Speaker 3: That's messed up too. That is pretty much that's messed up.

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Speaker 1: I decided to tell my twin brother before my dad

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Speaker 1: told him because he can be quick to anger. Well,

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Speaker 1: I explained them separating and was telling him we had

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Speaker 1: another half brother. We have two half brothers and a

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Speaker 1: half sister from my dad's relationship. Before my mom got

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Speaker 1: it whoa and before I could say his name out loud,

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Speaker 1: he said it apparently my half sister told them years

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Speaker 1: ago and he wasn't sure if it was true. He

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Speaker 1: got pissed off thinking about the affair, so I dropped

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Speaker 1: it and asked him how he felt. He broke down, crying,

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Speaker 1: saying our dad was his superhero honestly mine too, and

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Speaker 1: that everything he does is to make him proud, even

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Speaker 1: what he's majoring in right now. Then he said he's

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Speaker 1: going to move back home to try to fix things,

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Speaker 1: and I told him that wasn't likely, but he said

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Speaker 1: he'll move back anyways to take care of mom. I

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Speaker 1: think I'm in shock. This wasn't what I was expecting

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Speaker 1: to go through today. I'm sure my favorite aunt, my

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Speaker 1: mom's favorite sister just had a stroke. My nana is

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Speaker 1: blind but is claiming she sees people in her house.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, crazy, she might be moving in with us,

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Speaker 1: and my elderly dog is currently not eating and I'm

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Speaker 1: on my period.

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Speaker 2: Dude, that's the worst you are not having that.

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Speaker 1: I talked to my boyfriend about it, and he summed

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Speaker 1: it up well. Either it really was just trust issues

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Speaker 1: gradually breaking down the relationship, in which case they didn't

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Speaker 1: both sit down with me and have an adult conversation

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Speaker 1: instead of pretending they're happy, or he lied about their

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Speaker 1: not being another woman and is just trying to save faith.

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Speaker 2: Because he did give that kid the middle name, right,

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Speaker 2: so I feel like there is a personal attachment to

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Speaker 2: this child and the family for sure.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna stand up for myself and demand some sort

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Speaker 1: of explanation or at least in an apology for springing

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Speaker 1: it upon me so abruptly.

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Speaker 2: Yes, ma'am, you get that apology. You deserve it.

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Speaker 1: I've never been mad at my dad, but I'm pissed

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Speaker 1: right now and I don't even know how to broach

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Speaker 1: the subject with my mom. I feel horrible for her,

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Speaker 1: you know, and honestly, doesn't feel real. After sobbing for

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Speaker 1: a while, I've just been laughing about it. Ed. My

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Speaker 1: mom had no clue. He was telling us. She said

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Speaker 1: he brought it up last month and that she thought

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Speaker 1: they worked it out and she was never acting and

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Speaker 1: still loves him, and that it was solely his decision.

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Speaker 1: I reassured her I wasn't upset with her and loved

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Speaker 1: her endlessly. I think my dad is the villain.

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Speaker 3: Updates.

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Speaker 1: So it's been about a month since my original post,

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Speaker 1: and honestly, I don't even know where to begin in

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Speaker 1: as short as I can summarize. My father is claiming

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Speaker 1: he left because my mother stole money from him.

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Speaker 2: What this is getting? This is getting fine?

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Speaker 1: Nance I know he told me it was multiple times

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Speaker 1: and said once it was fifty thousand dollars.

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Speaker 2: WHOA.

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Speaker 1: My mother denies it, and I two hundred percent believe her.

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Speaker 1: My mother is the reason I'm a cheap witch. My

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Speaker 1: childhood consisted of thrift shopping, garage sales, and the clearance section,

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Speaker 1: not because we were poor, but because my mom loves

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Speaker 1: a good bargain. The most expensive things my mom owns

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Speaker 1: are some designer purses and jewelry that my father bought her.

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Speaker 1: She told me that there wasn't even a point in

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Speaker 1: time where there was a whole fifty k in their account.

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Speaker 1: My father claims he went to an accountant and has

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Speaker 1: proof that she stole show it. However, he will not

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Speaker 1: show it to her, and I had to beg him

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Speaker 1: to show me. In the end, I just decided not

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Speaker 1: to look at it because I wouldn't know if it

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Speaker 1: was doctored and whatnot. And because why wouldn't he show

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Speaker 1: my mom? I asked him, and he said, I don't

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Speaker 1: know her anything, as if she hasn't been supporting him

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Speaker 1: through thick and thin, rich and poor health and sickness

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Speaker 1: after cheating and having an affair baby while she was

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Speaker 1: grieving her dead baby for the past thirty years.

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Speaker 2: This is a lot, is.

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Speaker 1: A I learned the affair partner was a coworker of his.

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Speaker 1: She was also married, and allegedly she raised the affair

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Speaker 1: baby with her husband and my dad hasn't seen him

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Speaker 1: since he was three?

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Speaker 2: What up? Wait? Wait, Tom, Tom? You know what you

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Speaker 2: know what he did? You know what he did?

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Speaker 1: What did he do?

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Speaker 2: Another man raised his kid without the guy knowing that.

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Speaker 1: Is messed up and gave the middle name. Also, it

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Speaker 1: just doesn't make sense. If you're accusing someone of a

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Speaker 1: serious crime and they are denying it, why not show

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Speaker 1: them the proof you have to shut him up. I

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Speaker 1: know she didn't steal from him, okay. First of all,

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Speaker 1: they both have complete access to each other's and their

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Speaker 1: joint account. Secondly, as long as I can remember, they've

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Speaker 1: had my money is our money situation going on? I

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Speaker 1: just don't understand why he would lie about it, and

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Speaker 1: such a would lie at that. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: he left her for another woman and just wants a

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Speaker 1: fresh start or what. And the week after he broke

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Speaker 1: the news was very emotional for my mother. I kept

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Speaker 1: her constant company and she's doing better recently. And one

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Speaker 1: positive thing from this experience is that it has made

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Speaker 1: us closer. I was emotional for about three days, and

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Speaker 1: then I moved on. I know that's probably not healthy,

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Speaker 1: but I'm pretty decent and with moving on when someone

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Speaker 1: has wronged me and or someone I love, I've been okay.

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Speaker 1: I've only broken down a few times. One time, I

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Speaker 1: listen to I Will Survive by Gloria Gayner, one of

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Speaker 1: my mom and I's favorite songs, and was absolutely inconsolable.

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Speaker 1: I've been in the process of getting off of effects

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Speaker 1: Her Effects Her probably a medication for a while, and

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Speaker 1: I'm almost done, so I think that's added to my

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Speaker 1: emotional state. My brother is okay as well, and has

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Speaker 1: talked to him normally a few times. It's so hard

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Speaker 1: knowing how crappy he's treated her, and yet she still

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Speaker 1: loves him and is holding out hope he'll come back eventually.

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Speaker 1: I know he won't. Though she had an abusive, cheating

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Speaker 1: father throughout her childhood and young adult, it breaks my

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Speaker 1: heart to realize she found a man just like him.

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Speaker 1: Although my father has never been physically abusive to her.

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Speaker 1: It's weird to think about how before this all happened,

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Speaker 1: my dad was such a big role model for me.

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Speaker 1: I was always a daddy's girl, and now I feel

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Speaker 1: like I don't even know him. He's been so insensitive

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Speaker 1: and uncaring. He's been ordering furniture for his new place

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Speaker 1: on my mom's Amazon account, where she can see everything.

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Speaker 1: What rude. Then he was opening the boxes outside of

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Speaker 1: my mom's eye until my mom asked him to do

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Speaker 1: it elsewhere because she was having a panic attack thinking

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Speaker 1: about him leaving and Weirdly, he was sitting with my

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Speaker 1: mom watching the debates and laughing, acting like nothing was wrong.

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Speaker 1: He also tried to have normal conversations with me a

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Speaker 1: few times.

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Speaker 3: This is weird.

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Speaker 1: You can't do this and cause this drama and then

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Speaker 1: pretend everything's okay.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not cool. Separation of whatever, church and.

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Speaker 1: Stay you know, come on. I told him I needed

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Speaker 1: time to process everything. One day, while I was hanging

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Speaker 1: with my mom, he came in the room, tilted his

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Speaker 1: chin up so I would look him in the eyes

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Speaker 1: as I had been avoiding and ignoring him, and very

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Speaker 1: sadly said, I love you. That broke my art because

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Speaker 1: besides that, he texted me I love you one more time.

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Speaker 1: And I hate what he's doing. I hate what he's

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Speaker 1: done to my mother in the past, but my mother

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Speaker 1: has forgiven him, and it was hard for me to

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Speaker 1: imagine him not in my life. I figured I would

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Speaker 1: let things calm down and have a conversation with him

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Speaker 1: in the future about rebuilding our relationship and me possibly

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Speaker 1: visiting him. I know some people will say I'm crappy

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Speaker 1: for still wanting him in my life, and I fully

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Speaker 1: understand that, but it's just hard to completely shut him out,

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Speaker 1: and honestly, I didn't want to what he's done. I

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Speaker 1: love him, and again, I've always been a daddy's girl.

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Speaker 1: I was under the impression that my dad was spending

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Speaker 1: his days setting up his new place and working and

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Speaker 1: then coming back home late at night to sleep, as

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Speaker 1: I wasn't seeing him well. Today is trash day and

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Speaker 1: I usually take the trash to the cans in the

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Speaker 1: garage and then he pulls the cans to the curb

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Speaker 1: in the morning. When I finished taking it to the garage,

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Speaker 1: I came back in and my mom asked me if

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Speaker 1: I had taken the cans to the curb. I said,

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Speaker 1: Dad isn't doing that anymore, and she goes, he didn't

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Speaker 1: tell you he moved out already.

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Speaker 2: Dang.

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Speaker 1: Last week, my mom said he left one day and

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Speaker 1: didn't come back. When she put two and two together,

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Speaker 1: she told him he needed to tell me. He said

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Speaker 1: he would, he didn't, and honestly, I'm not even sad

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Speaker 1: or mad about that. I'm just disappointed. All I would

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Speaker 1: have wanted was a text, Hey, I'm leaving today. That's it,

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Speaker 1: literally the bare minimum, but he couldn't even give me that.

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Speaker 1: My mom and I have until mid next year on

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Speaker 1: our lease, and then we have to find a new place.

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Speaker 1: Apparently he is going to continue helping with our bills.

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Speaker 1: Oh by the way, guys, you can join us live

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Speaker 1: on YouTube every weekday at three PMST. Just tab our

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Speaker 1: profile o buzz. But Opie says, everybody thinks he's not

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Speaker 1: acting like himself. He told his side of the family

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Speaker 1: early on, and they're all sad because they love my

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Speaker 1: mom My. Granny is praying he changes his mind. I

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Speaker 1: really don't know what his deal is. I probably never will,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not sure where we stand or what my

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Speaker 1: plan is for the future or anything. I just needed

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Speaker 1: to get all of this off my chest.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, girl, thank you for doing that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it just seems like Dad does not know how

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Speaker 1: to communicate, has already made some shady choices.

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Speaker 2: And the first thing he had I thought he was

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Speaker 2: gonna have another talk like he did with the son,

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Speaker 2: but he had twenty three years to prepare for that,

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Speaker 2: and now he does is like, oh okay, this is

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Speaker 2: what I got.

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Speaker 1: I hope that you and Dad are able to mend

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Speaker 1: your relationship if you can, But if it's best that

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Speaker 1: you guys don't have a relationship. I think that's okay too.

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Speaker 2: My wealthy father is disinheriting me because his wife told

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Speaker 2: him to.

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Speaker 1: I think you need a new new wife, because that's

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Speaker 1: messed up.

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Speaker 2: I twenty seven mail have a reasonable but slightly strained

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Speaker 2: relationship with my father fifty two. Now. We see each

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Speaker 2: other once a year or so at a holiday like

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Speaker 2: Christmas or Fourth of July, when I go visit family.

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00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:08,079
Speaker 2: I have about thirty family members who all live in

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Speaker 2: the same town. He supported me over the years, especially financially,

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Speaker 2: but also by encouraging my strengths in business. When I

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Speaker 2: was little, I had fifty to fifty joint custody with

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Speaker 2: my mom, who lived off of one hundred percent of

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Speaker 2: the child support he gave her. By the way, this

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Speaker 2: comes from user in Nefarious Dismal on the r slash

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Speaker 2: Okay storytime subreddit. He paid for my expensive private college

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00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:34,360
Speaker 2: and even lent me fifty K to exercise options I

334
00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:38,479
Speaker 2: was granted early at my employer, which has tax advantages

335
00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:41,560
Speaker 2: when I first graduated college. He never calls me, but

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00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,439
Speaker 2: I call him once every few weeks and we check

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00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,600
Speaker 2: for a few minutes if he's not too busy, which

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00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:48,840
Speaker 2: is about fifty percent of the time I call. He's

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Speaker 2: married to my stepmother, forty three female. Together, they have

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Speaker 2: three kids under the age of twelve. They've been married

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Speaker 2: for almost twenty five years now. I love my siblings

342
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Speaker 2: and my dad, but my stepmom desp is that he

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00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,960
Speaker 2: has children from his first marriage, me and my three

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00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,320
Speaker 2: siblings from his first marriage. So he's four kids here

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Speaker 2: and three kids there.

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Speaker 1: Right, you knew what you were getting yourself into, Like

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00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,920
Speaker 1: that's his life before you again't put that on the kids.

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00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:18,040
Speaker 2: And excludes me as much as possible. She even wants

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Speaker 2: to go as far as telling me that if I

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Speaker 2: moved to the town where all of my extended family lives,

351
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,480
Speaker 2: then they would leave and move across the country.

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Speaker 1: I don't like step mommy.

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00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:34,440
Speaker 2: She worked various jobs spicy dancer, yoga teacher, event organizer

354
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,080
Speaker 2: when she was younger. She has been in school for

355
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:42,440
Speaker 2: the last thirteen years, first doing her undergrad then master's,

356
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Speaker 2: now PhD for profit university.

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Speaker 1: Actually very impressed.

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Speaker 2: She never really wanted children, so the childcare is done

359
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:54,640
Speaker 2: by my dad, his personal assistant, and their two nannies.

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Speaker 1: Okay, hold on, hold on, you don't want children. Maybe

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Speaker 1: after the first one, you were like, you know, let's

362
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,040
Speaker 1: just stick with one. Mabe. After the second one, you

363
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,520
Speaker 1: were like, oh, let's just stick with two. But you

364
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,280
Speaker 1: add three and three is tough.

365
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:07,840
Speaker 2: But this woman is just like milking your dad, wealthy

366
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,720
Speaker 2: dad of the money. I come from a high income

367
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,560
Speaker 2: but not necessarily wealthy extended family, AKA they spend a

368
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:17,080
Speaker 2: large chunk of what they make. I've helped him with

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00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,280
Speaker 2: this business at times. I know he's making at least

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00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,720
Speaker 2: two mil a year, maybe as much as four.

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Speaker 1: Lord there's a lot of money.

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Speaker 2: He and my mother got divorced when I was three

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Speaker 2: after my mother cheated on him. I have three other

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00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,920
Speaker 2: direct siblings, all within three years of my age, one older,

375
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:36,360
Speaker 2: too younger. My mom used to be a spicy dancer

376
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Speaker 2: as well.

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Speaker 1: He's got a type.

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00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,360
Speaker 2: He sees what he wants and he hits it. She's

379
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,520
Speaker 2: very loving and sweet, but she's never really been able

380
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:48,760
Speaker 2: to make a monogamous relationship work. She was really heartbroken.

381
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,080
Speaker 2: He had four little kids at home and was working

382
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,720
Speaker 2: one hundred hours a week to make his way up

383
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Speaker 2: and start a company, and his wife was cheating on him.

384
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:02,000
Speaker 2: Oh lordie, he cares about his kids and about being

385
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,960
Speaker 2: a good dad, even though he was mostly absent during

386
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,040
Speaker 2: my childhood because he was so focused on work. He

387
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,280
Speaker 2: met my stepmother when she was working as a spicy

388
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:15,680
Speaker 2: dancer at a nearby spicy club and rushed into marriage

389
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:19,560
Speaker 2: as she was on a visitor visa from Eastern Europe.

390
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:22,920
Speaker 2: She's always loathed us when we were little, so they

391
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,640
Speaker 2: bought a separate house in the city where they would

392
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Speaker 2: stay together, and then the fifty percent of the time

393
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,800
Speaker 2: my dad had with us, he would come and stay

394
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Speaker 2: at a separate house in these suburbs with us.

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Speaker 1: That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. You need a separate house because

396
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,240
Speaker 1: you are like, nah, I won't hang out with the kids.

397
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Speaker 1: Go buy a separate house and hang out with them.

398
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,520
Speaker 2: The house he and my mom once lived in together.

399
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:48,720
Speaker 2: When she was around us, she was cruel. She insulted

400
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,800
Speaker 2: us and constantly told us to shut up and be quiet.

401
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,280
Speaker 1: I mean, you shut up, step mommy.

402
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,680
Speaker 2: How did the dad not see this? Oh, I know

403
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,560
Speaker 2: why he's working. He's working the whole time. I was

404
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,640
Speaker 2: always a very good kid. I got nearly perfect grades,

405
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,520
Speaker 2: never once got into trouble. Try to help my parents

406
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,440
Speaker 2: out and siblings any way, that I could, helped out

407
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:11,160
Speaker 2: around the house, never voiced any anger or talk negatively

408
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,280
Speaker 2: about anyone. Part of this was because I felt mostly

409
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,600
Speaker 2: unwanted and felt it was the only hope for some

410
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:21,760
Speaker 2: inclusion in my parents' lives. At seventeen, my dad made

411
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,879
Speaker 2: it known to me that at eighteen he expected me

412
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,960
Speaker 2: to move out and be financially independent. This hit hard,

413
00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:32,120
Speaker 2: not because I needed the money I was shockingly making

414
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,320
Speaker 2: almost eighty K a year while a high school senior,

415
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:40,040
Speaker 2: but because it fed my feelings of being rejected and unwanted. Okay,

416
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:41,080
Speaker 2: let's talk about the eighty k.

417
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,240
Speaker 1: Let's talk about eighty K as a high school student.

418
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,360
Speaker 2: What were we doing here? What?

419
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,359
Speaker 1: Maybe we were working for Dad?

420
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:49,520
Speaker 2: Yeah?

421
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, ough family businesses.

422
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 2: He renegged on this requirement and paid for my college.

423
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,800
Speaker 2: But this was the start of a ten year period

424
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:01,480
Speaker 2: where I felt very excluded and saw my parents less

425
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,600
Speaker 2: than once per year, as they were generally too busy

426
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:08,040
Speaker 2: to me or do other things to like go to lunch,

427
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,399
Speaker 2: coffee or dinner.

428
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,400
Speaker 1: Too busy, they're ignoring you.

429
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,960
Speaker 2: Recently, my great aunt, she's the first person in my

430
00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:17,960
Speaker 2: family to do while I'm live. She was just under

431
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,639
Speaker 2: one hundred. She had no children. During the funeral, my

432
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,800
Speaker 2: dad made a bad taste joke saying, when I die,

433
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,200
Speaker 2: don't get your hopes up. Your stepmother already made sure

434
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:31,240
Speaker 2: that I removed you and your siblings from the will.

435
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,760
Speaker 1: First of all, poor timing, poor timing. Maybe don't say

436
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,480
Speaker 1: that there after a family member has passed, And why

437
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,640
Speaker 1: take them out. I'm still kind of confused why even

438
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:39,080
Speaker 1: if he.

439
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,760
Speaker 2: Did, like why stepmom doesn't want to?

440
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:42,440
Speaker 1: Step mom was like take him out?

441
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:46,680
Speaker 2: Blindsided me a little bit. My father's very healthy and young,

442
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,879
Speaker 2: so I never really thought about it, but I always

443
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,080
Speaker 2: assumed that as a child and part of a family,

444
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,920
Speaker 2: I would be inheriting something that being said, the financial

445
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,000
Speaker 2: side of inheritance isn't important to me. My partner and

446
00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:00,240
Speaker 2: I already have made an income that is high for

447
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,520
Speaker 2: our twenties slash thirties, so we should be well retired

448
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,919
Speaker 2: by the time he dies. Still being told that I

449
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,840
Speaker 2: was removed from the wheel really putting now in the

450
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:13,320
Speaker 2: coffin of me feeling ostracized and excluded. He said my

451
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:17,160
Speaker 2: three other siblings were also removed as my stepmom wouldn't

452
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,639
Speaker 2: budge on this issue. Her argument was something reasonably that

453
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,919
Speaker 2: her younger children are under eighteen, thus will need the

454
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,440
Speaker 2: money to live. That being said, my other older siblings

455
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,280
Speaker 2: are not doing well financially. My sister makes less than

456
00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:33,160
Speaker 2: thirty K a year and has two children. They could

457
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:36,159
Speaker 2: really benefit unlike me, and I feel like it's unfair

458
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,920
Speaker 2: to them. I would be happy to forego my share

459
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,320
Speaker 2: if asked, and it was voluntarily, like you can voluntarily

460
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:45,920
Speaker 2: join us live on YouTube every day PST just to

461
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:46,560
Speaker 2: aff for profile.

462
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 1: Good.

463
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,239
Speaker 2: Should we fight on this? Yeah? I understand she has

464
00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:52,680
Speaker 2: kids that are under eighteen, and sure that will help

465
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,200
Speaker 2: them more. But he's wealthy. It makes a lot of money.

466
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,160
Speaker 2: There's a lot to go around.

467
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,120
Speaker 1: I'd be pissed if I found out my parents took

468
00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 1: me out of the will.

469
00:19:59,040 --> 00:19:59,280
Speaker 2: Yeah.

470
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:00,359
Speaker 1: Yeah.

471
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,480
Speaker 2: If your dad had another family and took you out of.

472
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 1: The will, absolutely i'd be like what we came first?

473
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,199
Speaker 1: I would just be like why. I feel like not

474
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 1: everything has to be split, Okay. For example, if you

475
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,840
Speaker 1: have three kids, you have one marriage, I do think

476
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 1: it should be split evenly between the kids. Now, if

477
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,119
Speaker 1: you have two families, I don't know, right, do I

478
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:22,040
Speaker 1: think your main family first family should get more?

479
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:22,600
Speaker 3: Maybe?

480
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,360
Speaker 2: I think evenly sure the kids are under eighteen, he's

481
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 2: probably gonna live past that, and that.

482
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,960
Speaker 1: He's only He's only in his early fifties, so hopefully

483
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,320
Speaker 1: not on what he is another thirty years or something.

484
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:35,879
Speaker 1: How would you feel if you were taken out of

485
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 1: your parents?

486
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,480
Speaker 2: Will? My parents will? I'd be your I'd be like, ah, dang,

487
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,159
Speaker 2: But my grandparents will, He'd be like. I'd be pretty pissed.

488
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,200
Speaker 2: I'd be like a come on, like, what's going on here?

489
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 2: What's going on here?

490
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,919
Speaker 1: Yeah? But at the end of the day, it is

491
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,960
Speaker 1: their decision. So I don't know if Opie really has

492
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 1: grounds to like do anything.

493
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 2: This happened a little while ago, but I still can't

494
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 2: sleep at night because the whole situation makes me so sad.

495
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 2: I really don't care about the money. I just want

496
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,159
Speaker 2: to get rid of the feelings of self hatred that

497
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 2: come from feeling like I am a parasite on my

498
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,760
Speaker 2: own family. How could you continue a relationship at this point?

499
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,840
Speaker 2: So I think it's more than the money part. He

500
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 2: just wants to feel included in some sense. Yeah, because

501
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,440
Speaker 2: his whole life dad was never there and I don't

502
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,320
Speaker 2: really know what was going on with the mom on

503
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,680
Speaker 2: that side, right, he just wants to feel wanted and included.

504
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 2: I hope that your wife's family includes you and everything. Yeah,

505
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 2: it's so sad that you feel ostracized, and I feel terrible.

506
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:31,920
Speaker 2: That's so bad.

507
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 1: I feel like that happens though sometimes, right, if you

508
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 1: don't have the best relationship with your parents or in

509
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 1: this case, your dad and his new wife, like, you

510
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 1: can find that peace and happiness and fulfillment in your

511
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 1: own family, like immediate family. But yeah, I'm sorry, that's suh.

512
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,400
Speaker 1: My husband wishes our son was never born and that

513
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:53,360
Speaker 1: he I thing hates that thing. Oh that is awful.

514
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 1: Oh my lord, my husband has no patience with our

515
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 1: four month o four months old.

516
00:21:58,720 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 2: Hmm.

517
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 1: You can't even let the kid like start to speak

518
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 1: and walk and then see how you feel about it.

519
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,399
Speaker 1: You know, we're older parents. I'm forty three and my

520
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,359
Speaker 1: husband is fifty five. Okay, we've been married for two years,

521
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 1: and our son wasn't planned. It just happened. At first,

522
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 1: he was happy. Once the baby arrived, I realized he

523
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 1: was no longer happy. By the way, this comes from

524
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 1: no Frosting twenty six on the Okay Storytime sub reddit,

525
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,960
Speaker 1: So he rarely helps with the baby. I mean, he

526
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 1: doesn't know how to do anything, despite me showing him

527
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 1: simple tasks like changing diapers and putting on clothes.

528
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 3: Oh, now I get like.

529
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,400
Speaker 1: Even I know how to change a diaper. Is it disgusting? Yes?

530
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 1: But can you do it? Yeah?

531
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty tough. I've never changed a girl's diaper.

532
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 1: I think it's the same. He says it's too hard

533
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 1: and never truly tries. So I've been doing it all myself.

534
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 1: Our baby had colic and would cry more than usual.

535
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,119
Speaker 1: My husband hated that and would get very annoyed if

536
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 1: our son cried for more than five minutes. He would

537
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 1: yell at me, do something, get him to shut up,

538
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,120
Speaker 1: and never once tried to help.

539
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, you do something, dude.

540
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 1: I felt so alone during the first few weeks after

541
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,360
Speaker 1: our son was born, and then my husband began complaining

542
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 1: that the baby was taking up all my time and

543
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,879
Speaker 1: I had no time for him. Yeah, because it's a baby.

544
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,680
Speaker 1: They can't do anything for itself, dude. Now our son

545
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,440
Speaker 1: is four months old and has started being very clingy,

546
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,400
Speaker 1: crying every time I put him down. It's been really

547
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: frustrating because there are times I have to set him down,

548
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 1: but I never let him cry for more than ten minutes. Yesterday,

549
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 1: I had to run an errand and left my husband

550
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,880
Speaker 1: to look after our son. I wasn't gone for long.

551
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 1: It was probably fifteen minutes after I left when he

552
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 1: called me saying I needed to come back because he

553
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 1: couldn't get the baby to stop crying. Do you know

554
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: how annoyed I'd be if I tried to step out

555
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 1: for fifteen minutes and my husband called and was like,

556
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 1: you need to get back here.

557
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 2: Hey, come back, Hey, you left your baby.

558
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 1: He left your baby. I told him to try taking

559
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 1: the baby outside. Shortly after, I got a notification from

560
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 1: the baby monitor and saw our son in his crib crying.

561
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 1: I was so frustrated that I turned around and came

562
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 1: back home. And when I got back home, our son

563
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,879
Speaker 1: was still in his crib crying, and my husband was

564
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 1: just sitting on the couch. I was furious and asked

565
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 1: him why he left the baby crying for so long,

566
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 1: and he said I couldn't get him to stop. I

567
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 1: hate that thing and wish it was never here.

568
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, somehow, sue somehow.

569
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 1: Get out of there, somehow time to leave.

570
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 2: Oh man.

571
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 1: His comments surprised and saddened me. And I know everyone

572
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 1: gets frustrated at times, but I feel like his comment

573
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 1: was over the top, and I don't know what to

574
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 1: do anymore. I am so sorry to anyone, to you,

575
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,199
Speaker 1: to anyone who's had to deal with this with an

576
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,880
Speaker 1: unsupportive partner after having a kid, because that is heartbreaking.

577
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 2: It's hard seeing he was somewhat excited and then when

578
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:34,040
Speaker 2: it happened, he's like, I'm good, no, thank you.

579
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: And words hurt, man, and words matter. You have to

580
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 1: be careful with what you say to say I wish

581
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 1: this kid was never born. I wish we never had

582
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 1: this child. Is just like, that's crazy to that. Ever,

583
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 1: so we got a first update. I'm planning an exit

584
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 1: strategy that my husband doesn't know about.

585
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 2: Nice. Nice Wow.

586
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 1: Even though he apologized for saying he hated our baby

587
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 1: and wished it wasn't here, I no longer trust him. Recently,

588
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 1: he has been trying to make amends, but I'm still

589
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,439
Speaker 1: uncertain about my feelings. Towards this morning, I woke up

590
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 1: later than usual and found that both he and my

591
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 1: son were gone. He had taken our son for a

592
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: walk without informing me, which made me panic and almost

593
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 1: call the police. They returned just before I did. Yeah, okay,

594
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 1: I think with a newborn, you don't just take the

595
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,919
Speaker 1: kid without telling you. I told him not to go

596
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 1: anywhere with our son because I no longer trust him.

597
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 1: He insisted he would never harm his son and that

598
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 1: his comment was made out of frustration. He felt I

599
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: was overreacting and was hurt that I viewed him as

600
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 1: a terrible person. Again, be careful with what you say.

601
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 1: I told him only a terrible person would say they

602
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 1: hated their helpless baby and wish they weren't here. Despite

603
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,159
Speaker 1: his efforts to help more by changing diapers and feeding

604
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 1: our son, I'm struggling to move past his hurtful comments.

605
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,919
Speaker 1: He has four adult children from a previous relationship, and

606
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,400
Speaker 1: he has a close relationship with them. From what I've seen,

607
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,439
Speaker 1: he seems to be a good father. Some people have

608
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,160
Speaker 1: suggested he might have postpartum depression, but when I brought

609
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,679
Speaker 1: it up, he dismissed it, saying he just gets irritated

610
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: when our son cries for too long. He claims he's

611
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,280
Speaker 1: working on his patients, but I wonder if his age

612
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,959
Speaker 1: fifty five contributes to his lack of patience with our

613
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 1: four month old. I'm in my head a lot, and

614
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: deep down I think I know what I need to

615
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 1: do to keep my child safe, but another part of

616
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 1: me wants to give him another chance.

617
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:10,160
Speaker 3: Again.

618
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 1: We're not excusing his words by any means, but I

619
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 1: think I had to remind myself. Yeah, being a fifty

620
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 1: five year old dad definitely is different than having a

621
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 1: kid in your thirties or even early forties, and like

622
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,640
Speaker 1: that hits you differently. And maybe because he has those

623
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: grown children and dealt with that, it's almost like this

624
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,199
Speaker 1: is like, oh my god, I forgot how hard this was.

625
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 1: Like this is too much, you know. Yeah, but then

626
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 1: also don't have a kid.

627
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:32,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know.

628
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 1: Most people might think I'm crazy for leaving him alone

629
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: with our son again after he said he hated him

630
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,119
Speaker 1: and wish he wasn't here. But I thought things had

631
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 1: gotten better, you know. He told me to take some

632
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 1: time for myself today, but then he texted me while

633
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,640
Speaker 1: I was out saying he needed a break. It completely

634
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 1: ruined my time and gave me so much anxiety. I

635
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,919
Speaker 1: was already uncomfortable leaving them, but he kept reassuring me

636
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 1: that everything would be fine. Our baby is going through

637
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:55,479
Speaker 1: the clingy phase right now, and I've tried to explain

638
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 1: it to him that it's normal, but he thinks I'm

639
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,879
Speaker 1: enabling it by holding him too much. It just feels

640
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:02,120
Speaker 1: like things aren't getting better. I don't know if I'm

641
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 1: overreacting or if he's right then I'm holding our son

642
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 1: too much. I'm just so frustrated right now. And we

643
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 1: have a transcription of text messages between opn oh no

644
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,640
Speaker 1: and I will say, like, are there times that maybe

645
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 1: you're coddling your kid too much and giving them too

646
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 1: much attention to the point where they do become clingy? Yes,

647
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,640
Speaker 1: but that seems like a separate issue from this imbalance

648
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:26,679
Speaker 1: of like parents.

649
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 2: The child probably wouldn't feel that way if both parents

650
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 2: were more included and if you, as a mother, had

651
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 2: more help on that side. Since you have zero help

652
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:35,160
Speaker 2: on that.

653
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,239
Speaker 1: Side, you have to be you always have to be

654
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:37,680
Speaker 1: there for.

655
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 2: The kid because you're afraid for their safety. Yeah, and

656
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,400
Speaker 2: you're the only one caregiver. M So it makes sense

657
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,159
Speaker 2: that that is a symptom of that.

658
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 1: Husband says, he cries every time I put him down.

659
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 1: It is all your fault because you hold him all day.

660
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,520
Speaker 1: When are you coming back home? I need a break.

661
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 1: I can't get him to stop crying. You need to

662
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: come home now, Opie says, it's almost time for a

663
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 1: n app. I think he's just tired. Can you put

664
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,120
Speaker 1: him in the crib now. I'll be home in an hour.

665
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 1: I haven't been gone that long and you're asking for

666
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 1: a break. You literally told me I could go. I

667
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,400
Speaker 1: asked you more than once if you were okay taking

668
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 1: care of him, and you said it was okay. Husband says,

669
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 1: not if he's crying the entire time. I'm not okay

670
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 1: with that. Opie says, you're always complaining, it's so exhausting

671
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 1: at this point, Husband says, because you're not getting the point.

672
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 1: You're making it hard for me. Not if he's crying

673
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 1: the entire time. I'm not okay with that. Husband said,

674
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:25,679
Speaker 1: you're not getting the point. You're making it hard for me.

675
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 1: He's crying every time I put him down, and you

676
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 1: get mad at me for letting him cry. You know

677
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 1: what would make us cry if you didn't.

678
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 4: Join us live on YouTube every weekday at three PMPSD.

679
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 4: Just oar profile okay, And then the end of their conversation,

680
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,959
Speaker 4: OPI says, if you need to get stuff done, then

681
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 4: it's okay to put him down and let him cry

682
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 4: for a bit.

683
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: I have no issue with that. You're trying to ruin

684
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,720
Speaker 1: the little time I have to myself, and that's exactly

685
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 1: what you're doing. Husband says. Every time I try to

686
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 1: talk to you, you get defensive. It's like you don't

687
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 1: want me to say anything. And Opie said, because you're

688
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 1: not making any sense and you're trying to pick a

689
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 1: fight with me because you have to look after your child.

690
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 1: I'm exhausted for them.

691
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 2: Are they getting divorced?

692
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,080
Speaker 1: It's so sad because I want to say no, right,

693
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 1: because like, oh, I can't imagine. But that's a good question, right,

694
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 1: Like maybe getting divorced before the kid is even aware

695
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 1: of this relationship is better than like waiting until your

696
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 1: kid is a bit older.

697
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 2: The dad's gonna have resentment on the kid for the rest.

698
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,560
Speaker 1: Of live exactly. I'm sorry, op.

699
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 2: That's the story story.

700
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host here. Bring it back

701
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 1: to the stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsor.

702
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 1: My friend is living with me for free. I can't

703
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 1: take it anymore.

704
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 3: Don't take it, don't take the money, Take the money.

705
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 1: I nineteen female have been friends with one of my

706
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 1: best friends, twenty six female for about four years now.

707
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 1: It started as a basic friendship, helping each other out

708
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 1: whenever we could and just talking. She gave me wisdom

709
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 1: on how to handle situations when I needed advice. Recently,

710
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 1: I moved from New York to New Jersey near my

711
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 1: boyfriend and finally rented my first apartment. I should add

712
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 1: that I do make a lot of money as a

713
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:57,200
Speaker 1: computer technician.

714
00:29:57,320 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 3: Let's go nineteen.

715
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 1: I know, but because of the prices in New Jersey,

716
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 1: I kind of use up a lot of it, plus

717
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 1: add some to savings for my dream house. By the way,

718
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 1: this comes from important Stand fifty four to fifty eight

719
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 1: on the Okay storytime subreddit. Well, my friend reached out

720
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 1: to me and asked if I could pick her up

721
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 1: for a day from New York so she could hang

722
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 1: out and see my apartment. I also had to go

723
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 1: to New York City to get my hair done, so

724
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 1: I invited her and even paid the money to the

725
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 1: lady to hold down an appointment. My friend called me later,

726
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 1: telling me she had no money as she had just

727
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 1: gotten a new job and hadn't gotten her check yet.

728
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 1: Long story short, That same week, she needed to go

729
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 1: to the er in our hometown for a bowel obstruction,

730
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: and I happened to be near her, so I drove

731
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 1: her and took her to the er and spent most

732
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 1: of the day there with her. I had a hair

733
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 1: appointment the next day, so I told her not to

734
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 1: worry about it, and that I would pay for the

735
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 1: appointment if she chose a cheap hair style.

736
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 3: Oh is now, and now she's getting a haircut.

737
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: She's friend pampered. Yeah, she's pampering her. She agreed, and

738
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 1: I took her. We went out and had a good time,

739
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, she claimed her boyfriend twenty

740
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,080
Speaker 1: seven Mail, was abusive and called her lazy for not

741
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 1: helping around the head house. She then broke things off

742
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:03,800
Speaker 1: with him and asked if she could stay with me.

743
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 1: I didn't know how to respond, so I said I

744
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 1: would not pay for anything because I had my bills

745
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 1: to pay for and I had to travel for work. Yeah,

746
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 1: and I also had to travel for work, so I

747
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,479
Speaker 1: couldn't afford to pay for another person. She said, no

748
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 1: problem and told me not to worry about it, and

749
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 1: I ended up taking her to the hotel where I

750
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 1: would stay for work because I needed company for the

751
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 1: two hours, and my boyfriend, who works with me, drives

752
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: separately due to the fact that he has more responsibilities

753
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 1: at this job than I do. The whole trip, she

754
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 1: kept asking for food, kind of demanding I buy her something,

755
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 1: and at one point she kept texting me while I

756
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 1: was at work asking for food. I stated that my

757
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: boyfriend and I would get her something later after work

758
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 1: because we weren't getting there. I know, this is a

759
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 1: weird this is a weird dynamic. I don't like this,

760
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 1: she complained, saying that it would be too late. So

761
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 1: in the meantime, she wondered if she could have me

762
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 1: order something else. I said no, because I had just

763
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 1: ordered a pizza an hour before, so it should have

764
00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 1: held her over.

765
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 3: They fed her just say at.

766
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 1: Her, Oh my gosh, goodness.

767
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 3: She's like, have you seen spirited Away.

768
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 1: A long time ago?

769
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 3: Okay, so well, there's like a character and spirited Away.

770
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 1: That just has to keep keep eating, right Okay, yes,

771
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 1: this is this is coming back to me. We got

772
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: her wah wah and some extra food to hold her over.

773
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: The Next day, she claimed she didn't like the food,

774
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 1: so she asked if I could get her lunch. Oh

775
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 1: my god, she requested olive garden. This is a side note.

776
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,480
Speaker 1: She always asked for expensive restaurants. My boyfriend said he

777
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,960
Speaker 1: would pay, so we went, but she kept asking for

778
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: more food and clothes afterwards.

779
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 3: Oh, who is this slighdude? This is weird.

780
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: This is really weird. And even though I went grocery

781
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 1: shopping and gave her a lot of my clothes to keep.

782
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 1: Might I add when I provided her with a twin bed,

783
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 1: she complained and told me she would not sleep on

784
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 1: that bed and would like me to purchase her a

785
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 1: queen mattress.

786
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 3: And then you say, okay, well you don't have to

787
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 3: sleep here bye.

788
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 1: What is going on?

789
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 3: She's treating this poor ope like her mom.

790
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, like this is a resort.

791
00:32:59,680 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 3: Why?

792
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 1: And also she doesn't like the blanket I gave her,

793
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 1: so she would like me to buy her a new one.

794
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 1: When we came home, she would cook and leave a mess,

795
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 1: even though I asked her to clean it up more

796
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 1: than once. She would then give me attitude, and when

797
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 1: my friend and boyfriend would call her out on it,

798
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 1: she would bawl and then give us a sob story.

799
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 1: She would then cook my food but not eat it,

800
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 1: and then put an open dish in the food, causing

801
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 1: the food to dry out and get bad. She leaves

802
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: messes and doesn't clean up. She sits there and watches

803
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 1: me while I clean up. I don't know what to do,

804
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 1: literally kick her out, kick her.

805
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 3: She's being incredibly disrespectful, and if she actually needed a

806
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 3: place to stay and needed help and stuff.

807
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 1: She would be appreciative. Absolutely not. I don't understand how

808
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 1: I am younger and more responsible.

809
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 3: I don't either.

810
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 1: I know I feel like I am being taken advantage of,

811
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 1: since she's constantly asking me to buy her expensive things

812
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 1: and won't take care of the things I have in

813
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 1: my house. My boyfriend suggested I give her a time

814
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: frame to live with me and then to move out

815
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,239
Speaker 1: on her own, but I didn't agree to all of this,

816
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 1: and now I feel like I'm backed into a corner.

817
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 1: I love my friend, but I barely had any alone

818
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 1: time on my own, and it was stressed full trying

819
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 1: to provide for someone who is a grown woman. This

820
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 1: is exhausting to read.

821
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 3: Girl, exhausting read. I cannot imagine how it is to

822
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 3: house her. I think you get you get your boyfriend.

823
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 3: If you need a support, you sit down with her

824
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 3: and you say, hey, it's not working out. Yeah, I

825
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 3: think to night, I feel like you have a week.

826
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, two weeks.

827
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:25,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, there we go. Two weeks.

828
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,280
Speaker 1: Medium, you got two weeks, girl, and you can sleep

829
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 1: on the twin bed, or you can sleep on the

830
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:35,280
Speaker 1: ground and don't steal my food and olive garden. Be chill.

831
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: I have a relationship to focus on, and I can't

832
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 1: do that because she turns everything into her like about her.

833
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 1: When me and my boyfriend went out with a friend today,

834
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 1: she kept texting me and blowing up my phone asking

835
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 1: when I would be home, even though I had been

836
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,880
Speaker 1: gone for an hour and I'd let her know I

837
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 1: would be gone most of the day and I had

838
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 1: just cooked her a meal. Stop cooking for her, plea,

839
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 1: my god, go, I couldn't even get my eggs to

840
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 1: cook for me, Like what the heck?

841
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 3: Wow.

842
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 1: I even stated that I wouldn't be around because I

843
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 1: wanted to spend time with those people. She kind of

844
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 1: gave my boyfriend attitude when he came back, and he

845
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 1: gave it to her straight. But it doesn't help anything

846
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: At all, she doesn't have a job, but has an

847
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 1: interview for Walmart. I don't think she'll get it, though,

848
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 1: because she was really rude to the manager on the phone.

849
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 3: Get a job at wife isn't hard? I don't actually,

850
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 3: you know, I was gonna make a comment, is it.

851
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 3: I don't know how hard it is to get a

852
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 3: job at Walmart? Maybe it is hard.

853
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 1: I feel like it depends maybe what role, like the

854
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 1: position is, but like I think it's it seems hard

855
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 1: to get a job anywhere these days. You know what

856
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:38,439
Speaker 1: I'm saying.

857
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it doesn't help if you're rude to the Yeah,

858
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 3: she said she was rude to the manager on the phone.

859
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 1: Set kind of said things she shouldn't.

860
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 3: She's like, I want free food, and they're like, we

861
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 3: actually can't give you that discount until you get the job. Exactly.

862
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 1: All she does is sit on her phone and text

863
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 1: or lay in bed and not come out, and when

864
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 1: you ask her to help out, she gives attitude. I

865
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 1: can't afford to keep having her spoil my food or

866
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 1: leave huge messes after cooking. I've already voiced this and

867
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 1: nothing has changed. No, no, no, But you know what

868
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 1: you can change if you haven't already. You can join

869
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:12,320
Speaker 1: us live on YouTube every weekday at three pm PSD.

870
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 3: Just do it.

871
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 1: Just tap our profile. How do I tell her I

872
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 1: don't think this is gonna work out?

873
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,399
Speaker 3: You tell her I don't think this is gonna work out.

874
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 3: You knock tell her, you knock on her door, on

875
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:27,760
Speaker 3: her little twin bed, You say, hey, this isn't working.

876
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 1: It isn't working. Get them.

877
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to ask you to, you know, leave

878
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 3: the next two weeks cuz otherwise we're gonna, you know,

879
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 3: have to push you out.

880
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, Opie said, I just don't know what to do.

881
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 1: Am I in the wrong for feeling like I'm being

882
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 1: mooched off of I understand she came out of a relationship,

883
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 1: but that isn't an excuse to be, you know, not

884
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 1: mindful of another person's living space.

885
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:49,759
Speaker 3: It is not an excuse. The only thing that I'm

886
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,879
Speaker 3: worried about is that she won't leave.

887
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,520
Speaker 1: I know those people that get too comfortable and they're like,

888
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 1: I just need more time, like please, you know, like

889
00:36:56,840 --> 00:37:01,320
Speaker 1: and you guilt trip like op but hopefully cross my

890
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 1: fingers to get rid of this this mooch leach next time.

891
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 1: Just don't be as nice.

892
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:08,399
Speaker 3: Don't be that nice.

893
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 1: You'd being too nice.

894
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 3: You're too freaking nice. My wife is way more affectionate

895
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 3: after returning from a bachelorette party. Did she cheat on me?

896
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 3: Oh no, I feel I'm just saying I feel like

897
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 3: that would be a good thing. I thirty four male,

898
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:28,240
Speaker 3: have been with my wife, thirty four female, for ten years.

899
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,800
Speaker 3: She has never been an affectionate person, and I'm the opposite.

900
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,720
Speaker 3: I'm very tactile. I love hugging, kissing, cuddling, holding hands,

901
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 3: touching her curves. I'm deeply attracted to her, and I've

902
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 3: done my best to coat with minimal reciprocation. It's been

903
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,400
Speaker 3: an issue for the both of us. Nothing deal breaking.

904
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 3: We're just different kinds of people, and we've accepted that

905
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,359
Speaker 3: we still love each other. By the way, this comes

906
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 3: from throwaway to key on the best of preditor updates

907
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,920
Speaker 3: separate it so. A month ago, she was gone for

908
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 3: a few days at a friend's bachelorette party out of state.

909
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 3: I stayed with the kiddo at home. We talked to

910
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 3: each other. We talked each night before she went to bed.

911
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 3: No worries. I've got my insecurities having been in a

912
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 3: prior relationship with an habitual cheater, but she's never done

913
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 3: anything that gives me a reason not to trust her.

914
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 3: Everything's good. We pick her up from the airport and

915
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 3: she goes on about how listening to the other participants

916
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 3: of the party complain about their husbands, she feels lucky

917
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 3: to have me, and it makes her appreciate me more.

918
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:29,319
Speaker 3: I'm over the moon. It's incredible to hear her say

919
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 3: nice things about me to my face. I'm ecstatic. It

920
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:35,880
Speaker 3: feels great. Over the next few days, we have incredible,

921
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 3: spicy sleep, like maybe never before. She runs her hands

922
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 3: through my hair. She walks past me in the house,

923
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 3: she runs her hands over my body. She's never acted

924
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 3: this way. I'm over here, just getting washed away in

925
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,360
Speaker 3: the love. But at the same time, I'm curious. My

926
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,359
Speaker 3: insecurities get the best of me, and I check her

927
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 3: phone while she sleeps one night.

928
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,879
Speaker 1: Why did you do that? That is a big no nah.

929
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 3: Several hours before she flew back home, she received a

930
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 3: message in a group chat with one other partygoer, the

931
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,720
Speaker 3: bride to be and my wife. They had a separate

932
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,520
Speaker 3: chat with the entire party. The message was one of

933
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,839
Speaker 3: those text on image at meme things, whatever they're called.

934
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 3: It said, married people with kids in careers find times

935
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 3: to have affairs. Don't let a single person tell you

936
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,160
Speaker 3: they're too busy for you. My wife responded with the

937
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 3: skull emoji. Nothing else in the thread. So now I'm

938
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 3: a little worried something happened. Am I being gas lit

939
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 3: and love bombed after an affair? Did she actually alter

940
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 3: her perspective during her trip and is making a concerted

941
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 3: effort to show appreciation. Am I overreacting? And there are

942
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 3: some comments and an update? But real quick, I think

943
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 3: she told him why she's being physically affectionate. She said,

944
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:52,520
Speaker 3: I heard other participants of the party complain about their husbands,

945
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:53,759
Speaker 3: and she felt more lucky to have me.

946
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 4: See.

947
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 1: She said that, Yeah, sometimes it does take perspective, you know,

948
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,000
Speaker 1: it takes getting out of your normal day to day

949
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 1: to be like, show my.

950
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 3: Partners a little bit more love, because I absolutely I'm

951
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 3: lucky to have them. Yeah, and for you to then,

952
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 3: you know, turn around and and I like, oh, this

953
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:10,919
Speaker 3: is weird.

954
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 1: They're cheating on me.

955
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:15,760
Speaker 3: It's totally fair to be insecure and to be jealous

956
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 3: sometimes that is that is human nature. Yeah, but you

957
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 3: should not allow yourself or your insecurities to you know,

958
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 3: then affect, then affect your relationship. You should be talking

959
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 3: to your partner, talking to a counselor you know, talking

960
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 3: to therapists.

961
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 1: And I don't think anything would have been wrong to

962
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 1: like check in a bit after the trip and be like, hey,

963
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: I've been loving the physical touch and how affectionate you been.

964
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 1: It really means so much to me. However, it's a

965
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 1: big switches, such a big shift, and I just want

966
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:45,320
Speaker 1: to talk about a little more about that.

967
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 3: Yes, could have just said that, yeah. Comments Mary Barry

968
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,000
Speaker 3: Hunting says, when my sister had an affair with the REX,

969
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:55,760
Speaker 3: I became extremely close to my husband and very cuddly

970
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 3: and clinging. It's like knowing my sister was cheating. It

971
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 3: could happen to me, type panic. I feel like one

972
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:03,320
Speaker 3: of the girls is cheating. Everyone knows. It became a

973
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,799
Speaker 3: joke and your partner became conscious that maybe they were

974
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 3: giving you an opportunity. Or if that woman ex who

975
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 3: is cheating can cheat and have a perfect relationship, that

976
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:13,839
Speaker 3: you could do the same. Honestly, you might be two

977
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 3: people afraid of being cheated on by each other right now,

978
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:19,760
Speaker 3: and maybe you should bond over that instead of letting

979
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 3: it divide you. Special op says, you're bringing up a

980
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 3: great point. When my wife found out that one of

981
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:28,319
Speaker 3: her friends had stepped out on her longtime boyfriend who

982
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:31,800
Speaker 3: she shares a house with, my wife got super affectionate.

983
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:33,800
Speaker 3: She would tell me how happy she was with me

984
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:36,320
Speaker 3: and that she felt really grateful that she was with

985
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:40,920
Speaker 3: a guy like me. She even started getting spicy, sleep adventurous,

986
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 3: and ordered some really cool underthings. Okay, it occurred to

987
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 3: me that she might be stepping things up because her

988
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 3: friend had stepped out. Of course, being the guy that

989
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 3: I am, I made sure to give her all the

990
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 3: affirmation she needed to know that she's wonderful. It seems

991
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:57,399
Speaker 3: like OPI's wife is most likely doing the same thing.

992
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 3: Bro is totally overreacting, But there is an update three

993
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 3: days later. But do you have anything else to say?

994
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 3: Because I think I've said my piece. I think he's overreacting, overreaction.

995
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 1: I just I think you hit the nail on the

996
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 1: head with like we we all have our insecurities. It's

997
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 1: easy to get jealous, but it is our job, yeah

998
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 1: to deal with those and to control them. And I

999
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 1: think when when you're yeah, when you've got into the

1000
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,400
Speaker 1: point where you're looking at your partner's phone, I mean,

1001
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,319
Speaker 1: it's it's that is just not a good sign at all,

1002
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 1: and is it's disrespect. Is so many things wrong with that.

1003
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 3: I think when we let our insecurities bleed outside of

1004
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:36,720
Speaker 3: the lines of ourself, the lines of our get healthy.

1005
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 3: The drawing gets a little messy. But let's get into

1006
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,919
Speaker 3: this update. I wasn't expecting so many comments the first

1007
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 3: time around. It was a good reminder of what a

1008
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 3: petri dish humans are on the internet. After going through everything,

1009
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 3: the majority of the comments supported that my wife thirty

1010
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 3: four female was being truthful with me three four male,

1011
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 3: and like I said, I never had any reason not

1012
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 3: to trust her. I appreciate she had everyone who had

1013
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 3: level headed takes. It helped me remember how wonderful of

1014
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 3: a person my wife is and provided impetus for me

1015
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 3: to make the conscious decision to shut out my insecurities

1016
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 3: and truly trust her. It was entertaining to see the

1017
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 3: FU trolls give their two cents, and a couple of

1018
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:19,880
Speaker 3: bizarre dms really spiced things up. We have had a

1019
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,960
Speaker 3: couple heart to heart conversations since my first post, and

1020
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 3: at this point we're in the best place maybe ever,

1021
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 3: of our relationship. Our communication has never been so transparent, honest,

1022
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 3: and empathetic.

1023
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:34,320
Speaker 1: Let's go, Yes, let's go.

1024
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:36,800
Speaker 3: I brought up the meme the group chat, et cetera,

1025
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,279
Speaker 3: and because my wife is so comfortable and understanding, she

1026
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,400
Speaker 3: wasn't upset. Honestly, the best move that OPI could have

1027
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:45,840
Speaker 3: done after looking at her phone was tell her that

1028
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 3: you did.

1029
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:46,919
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1030
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,840
Speaker 3: Absolutely, she didn't take offense because I was able to

1031
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:53,879
Speaker 3: communicate that it stemmed from my own insecurities. Nothing she did,

1032
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 3: OPI is yeah, bringing it back, OPI, you did a

1033
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 3: little one to eighty bringing it back. We love it.

1034
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, good for uop I love that. I love when

1035
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,759
Speaker 1: people can just own up on their stuff, just own it.

1036
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 3: In their stuff. She explained that during the trip, the

1037
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,359
Speaker 3: other woman let's call her Ashley in the smaller group

1038
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 3: chat not be engaged, sent the mem after talking crap

1039
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,440
Speaker 3: all weekend long about how she f's around on her husband,

1040
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,640
Speaker 3: she doesn't respect him, et cetera, which is exactly what

1041
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 3: every one of the commons said. Oh wow, that is

1042
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 3: really quick.

1043
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: That's so slimy.

1044
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:28,000
Speaker 3: If I you know, had I was on a bachel

1045
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 3: learn week and presumably this is these are all my

1046
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 3: best friends, and I found out that one of my

1047
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:35,200
Speaker 3: best friends was doing that, I'd be like, Wow, I

1048
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 3: want you around. I want to tell your husband and too,

1049
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:40,280
Speaker 3: I don't want you to be my friend anymore because

1050
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:41,800
Speaker 3: we'd clearly have different morals.

1051
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:44,360
Speaker 1: That's really gross. I also think what's interesting, though, is

1052
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:46,719
Speaker 1: that like, I don't know how people feel about this,

1053
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 1: but like I feel like I would give my husband

1054
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 1: the tea.

1055
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:52,759
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, I media I'd be like, oh my god,

1056
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 3: I just found out that the so and so is cheating. Exactly,

1057
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 3: I would immediately go home. I but I love a

1058
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:01,200
Speaker 3: little bit of goss when it exactly this long is

1059
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 3: just on my own friends, because I don't like to

1060
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 3: I am not a proponent of gossiping my mind. I'm

1061
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:08,400
Speaker 3: with you on that, but I like a little bit

1062
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 3: of gossip. Yeah, my wife said. Ashley was essentially fishing

1063
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 3: for a validation of her crappy behavior from the other

1064
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,719
Speaker 3: woman at the bachelorette party the whole time they were there.

1065
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,280
Speaker 1: That's so annoying, so annoying.

1066
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,240
Speaker 3: At one point, Ashley stayed at the airbnb by herself

1067
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:25,400
Speaker 3: while everyone else went out to have fun. Later on,

1068
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,440
Speaker 3: Ashley posted on social media as if she was at

1069
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 3: this particular venue with the rest of the party. What

1070
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 3: that was discussed and deemed suspicious by the other ladies.

1071
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:36,319
Speaker 3: I'm wondering if she brought someone back.

1072
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 1: I was about to say she probably definitely had someone over.

1073
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 3: I should also clarify my wife only knew the bride

1074
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 3: to be at this party. She did not know Ashley

1075
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 3: or anybody else until she met them on the trip.

1076
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 3: I say that because a few commented on the last

1077
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 3: posts that even if it were someone else that cheated

1078
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 3: to everyone's knowledge at the party, it would be highly

1079
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 3: suspect for my wife to condone this behavior and be

1080
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:01,080
Speaker 3: friends with this person. But Ashley is a strange. Neither

1081
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,319
Speaker 3: of us even know her husband. My wife's engaged friend

1082
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:05,880
Speaker 3: doesn't even live in our state.

1083
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, got it. I think I get it.

1084
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 1: I get it. She definitely just brushed that text conversation off.

1085
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:13,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was just like, I don't know, this person

1086
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 3: is weird. Anyways, I've been completely open and honest with

1087
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,520
Speaker 3: my wife since the last post, well except for the

1088
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:22,919
Speaker 3: Reddit posts. Tell her about the reditue Yeah, we're doing

1089
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:26,680
Speaker 3: incredibly well. I'm basking in all the wonderful affection I

1090
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 3: had dreamed of for years. I'm just hoping this will

1091
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:32,360
Speaker 3: last a long long time. Well, it will if you

1092
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 3: continue to communicate, and also, you know what else will

1093
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:37,920
Speaker 3: last a long long time joining us every week? Did

1094
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:41,319
Speaker 3: three pm b Steen just tell her profile, I'm glad

1095
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 3: I didn't do anything more Sid when I was overreacting, Samee, me.

1096
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:46,319
Speaker 2: Too, Me too?

1097
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 3: And there are two comments to finish this off, Rave

1098
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,879
Speaker 3: and says that's awesome. Sounds like your wife saw someone

1099
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:55,480
Speaker 3: else playing with fire and is appreciating what she has now.

1100
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:58,279
Speaker 3: I love to comment on the previous post that said

1101
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 3: something to the effect that the grass is greener when

1102
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 3: you take care and water it, and the same is

1103
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:07,759
Speaker 3: true for relationships. D thirty eight says, I'm glad I

1104
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:11,240
Speaker 3: was wrong and you too are okay, and Op says

1105
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:16,319
Speaker 3: me too, Buddy, me too, me too, Op Happy ending,

1106
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 3: And that's that's that's the end of the story.

1107
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 1: I love that.

1108
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 3: Do you have any closing thoughts?

1109
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 1: Oh, Lordie, I justah so much. I'm just over the drama.

1110
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 1: I'm older, John, I'm done with the drama.

1111
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:30,239
Speaker 3: Just communicate, Just communicate.

1112
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 1: I don't ever want to have to look at someone's

1113
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 1: I don't ever want to think about looking at someone's phone.

1114
00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:36,359
Speaker 1: I don't want. I don't want any of them.

1115
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 3: Like, I don't even think it's weird. I'm like sometimes

1116
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,319
Speaker 3: like they'll be like looking at their phone and I'm

1117
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 3: next to them.

1118
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 1: And I'll look at it, and then yeah, you look

1119
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:46,240
Speaker 1: at it, and I tell them, I say, hey, sorry,

1120
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 1: I just like, I don't know where else I'm.

1121
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:50,560
Speaker 3: Supposed to like, so, sorry, I'm looking at your phone.

1122
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:54,239
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just stay off the stuff you

1123
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:54,600
Speaker 1: don't want.

1124
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,719
Speaker 3: But which is weird because with me, I mean, I

1125
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:00,880
Speaker 3: think I'm just trying to be respectful of other people's privacy.

1126
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:02,839
Speaker 3: But with me, I'm just like, you're like, here, look

1127
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 3: at it. Everyone look at my phone. It look at it.

1128
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 3: Everyone look at it.

1129
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's hilarious. Yeah.

1130
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 2: Hey, it's John here Og, host of the show. We're

1131
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 2: gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a

1132
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:13,880
Speaker 2: quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1133
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,759
Speaker 1: I cut contact with my best friend. She refused to

1134
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:19,320
Speaker 1: help my family in an emergency.

1135
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 3: It's a good reason to cut contact.

1136
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,320
Speaker 1: I forty six female. Have been close friends with a

1137
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:26,439
Speaker 1: person for about three years. Let's call her Kate forty

1138
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 1: eight female. We text her call at least a couple

1139
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 1: of times a week, have lunch volunteer, have even taken

1140
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:35,400
Speaker 1: a vacation together. I considered her an honorary sister. By

1141
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:37,640
Speaker 1: the way, this comes from zephyr Willow on the Okay

1142
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 1: storytime subreddit. So recently a category for hurricane came through

1143
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 1: our area unprecedented devastation. My daughter Sally twenty eight, her

1144
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:48,919
Speaker 1: husband Sam twenty nine, and their son Ate had seen

1145
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:51,320
Speaker 1: their home and most of their possessions consumed by the

1146
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:54,800
Speaker 1: river earlier that day. Complete stranger. Neighbors welcome them in,

1147
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:58,240
Speaker 1: offering hop beverages and towels to dry off. Self service

1148
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 1: is degrading. Fast texts them that there is power at

1149
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 1: her house a couple miles away and suggests they go there.

1150
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:06,399
Speaker 1: Kate is at the beach and there is a dog

1151
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 1: slush house sitter at her home. The family joins a

1152
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 1: caravan of cars trying to make it to the main highway,

1153
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 1: and they make it to the highway and then a

1154
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:16,239
Speaker 1: few miles down turn on Kate's drive as they cry

1155
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 1: tears of relief. Sam approaches the porch gate, calls out hello,

1156
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 1: and the dogs come running. He's petting and playing with

1157
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:24,920
Speaker 1: the pity from behind the gate, who knows him and

1158
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,440
Speaker 1: sees him at least weekly and is clearly not alarmed

1159
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 1: by him. The sitter, who we shall call Babs, bursts

1160
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 1: from the dark door and grabs the handle of the gate.

1161
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 1: She tells him he cannot come in. He says, hey,

1162
00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: it's me, the guy who you see at least weekly

1163
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 1: at work. My house was destroyed and Kate told us

1164
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 1: to come here. Babs said, you can't come in. Sam

1165
00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:48,960
Speaker 1: was like, really, our home was flooded. Where are we

1166
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,320
Speaker 1: supposed to go? Bab says, well, I checked on my

1167
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 1: storage unit and everything is fine. You can't come in there.

1168
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 1: There are not enough beds. At this point, Sally and

1169
00:49:56,719 --> 00:49:59,359
Speaker 1: this kid step around from the side, so she knows

1170
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 1: that there's a ch child involved. Sam says, can we

1171
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 1: at least sit on the porch and dry off make

1172
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 1: a phone call? Bab said, no, you need to leave

1173
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,360
Speaker 1: right now. I won't let you in. They leave and

1174
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:10,720
Speaker 1: try to drive up the road to a coworker's trailer.

1175
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:14,239
Speaker 1: Rushing floodwaters are too strong and they are almost washed

1176
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:14,879
Speaker 1: off the road.

1177
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

1178
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:18,319
Speaker 1: So they go back to Kate's place in Park, walk

1179
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:21,359
Speaker 1: up the road with rushing floodwaters, tripping and almost being

1180
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 1: swept away. A coworker opens their door and without hesitation,

1181
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:27,880
Speaker 1: shares his home with them for two nights. The next day,

1182
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 1: after the rain slows down and the floods are receding.

1183
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:33,400
Speaker 1: Among the debris and chaos, Babs approaches the guys on

1184
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:35,879
Speaker 1: a break from cleaning up to say she is over

1185
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 1: this and packing up to leave. She offers some excuses

1186
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 1: as to why she barred entry, but doubles down that

1187
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 1: they still cannot come in, even to shower, as the

1188
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 1: water in the trailer is out. She recognized Sally the

1189
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:51,759
Speaker 1: night before, but still declined to help. Babs drives off

1190
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:54,280
Speaker 1: and is gone for three hours before returning and locking

1191
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 1: herself back in Kate's house. The roads to town were

1192
00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 1: washed out and another night passes, and the next more Sam,

1193
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:03,240
Speaker 1: Sally and my grandson take the risk to drive across

1194
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:05,440
Speaker 1: the county to my home. They make it up just

1195
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:07,879
Speaker 1: as Grandpa finishes clearing the trees from the road.

1196
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:08,239
Speaker 3: Cuent.

1197
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 1: Really, if we had not known they were safe until then.

1198
00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 3: So it might be they don't have service. That might

1199
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:15,840
Speaker 3: be the problem because I obviously power lines can go

1200
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:18,320
Speaker 3: down and stuff, so they might not have service, in

1201
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:20,760
Speaker 3: which case they wouldn't be able to contact Kate to talk.

1202
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 1: About this right although from the beginning of the story

1203
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:26,520
Speaker 1: we're realizing maybe Kate is not as much of a

1204
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:29,560
Speaker 1: saint as we thought. Three days later, Sam and Sally

1205
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:32,719
Speaker 1: are trying to deliver supplies for another coworker but can't

1206
00:51:32,719 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 1: reach him by text. They decided to drop the stuff

1207
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 1: off at Kate's. Kate cries and hugs them and proceeds

1208
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:40,840
Speaker 1: to explain and excuse that Babs didn't let them in.

1209
00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:43,759
Speaker 1: She says sorry that this happened, that there was a

1210
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:46,480
Speaker 1: hurricane that your house flooded, but does not say anything

1211
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:48,480
Speaker 1: close to if I was here, I would have let

1212
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:50,680
Speaker 1: you in, or she made the wrong decision, and I'm

1213
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:52,960
Speaker 1: sorry that she puts you in danger, and defends and

1214
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:55,959
Speaker 1: condones the fact that Bab's barred entry to her home.

1215
00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:59,319
Speaker 1: Kate says, actually, Babs pays rent here, so she has

1216
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:00,920
Speaker 1: every right to do what she did.

1217
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:04,359
Speaker 3: Then why would you ever offer up your home if

1218
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:06,480
Speaker 3: it wasn't going to be a place, Yeah, that they

1219
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:08,760
Speaker 3: could come, should any sense?

1220
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:12,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't love this. No. Kate had been radio

1221
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 1: silent with me for five days. She messaged yesterday asking

1222
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 1: if I needed help after a week of no power

1223
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 1: and water, and she had both. She acted surprise that

1224
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 1: I was upset. She tried to argue that because she

1225
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:26,160
Speaker 1: spoke to Sam and Sally and made peace, that the

1226
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 1: issue was resolved. My opinion is that if any human

1227
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:31,440
Speaker 1: was to deny aid to any other human in a

1228
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:34,520
Speaker 1: life threatening natural disaster as late as long as they

1229
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 1: are not being actively violent, that action is absolutely indefensible.

1230
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:41,400
Speaker 3: Especially friends.

1231
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 1: They're friends, Bestie's honorary sister.

1232
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 3: What like, you know, you know, there's there's the situation

1233
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:50,279
Speaker 3: where you have, like the post post apocalyptic world where

1234
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 3: you're like, I don't know if this person's gonna be

1235
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:56,320
Speaker 3: safe for the last of us. Know, that's not the situation.

1236
00:52:56,719 --> 00:53:00,440
Speaker 3: You have a family who you know, who is who

1237
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:03,040
Speaker 3: has been told that they can shelter at your place.

1238
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:06,279
Speaker 1: This is weird. Yeah, this is weird, Opie says. When

1239
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 1: that has been done to three of the people who

1240
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:10,440
Speaker 1: I love most in the world, defending that act is

1241
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 1: also not something that I can accept I should not

1242
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:15,759
Speaker 1: have to explain to anyone with a shred of compassion

1243
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 1: why this action is monstrous, cruel, and inhuman. I'm starting

1244
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 1: to realize that Kate was not who I thought she was.

1245
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:23,600
Speaker 1: I will give her a chance to say her piece,

1246
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:26,440
Speaker 1: but seriously, she has had a week to address this

1247
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 1: and chose to ignore it. If she still excuses and

1248
00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 1: condones Bab's actions, then I will cut contact, but not

1249
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:36,040
Speaker 1: until our power and water come back still none after

1250
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 1: a week, and then we have some edits.

1251
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 3: It's so hard, Like, I feel so bad that Opie

1252
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:48,200
Speaker 3: is going through one a category for hurricane and then

1253
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:51,800
Speaker 3: also friend problems. One of your best friends, who you

1254
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 3: consider a sister, is, you know, being all denying you help,

1255
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:55,800
Speaker 3: being awful.

1256
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:58,400
Speaker 1: That's so heartbreaking. I would not be friends with them. No,

1257
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 1: I would not be done. Be done, Opie says. This

1258
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 1: is my first post, and I didn't realize the cell

1259
00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:06,200
Speaker 1: phone communications broke down while they were at the first

1260
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:09,239
Speaker 1: neighbor's house, so no text or calls. It was two

1261
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:12,000
Speaker 1: days before I knew if they were safe. Babs is

1262
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 1: a friend of the families and an employee and had

1263
00:54:14,320 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 1: just been there any time I came over for about

1264
00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 1: six months. None of us knew she was paying rent

1265
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,920
Speaker 1: or considered a roommate until that fact was thrown out

1266
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:22,759
Speaker 1: as justification.

1267
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:25,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I mean Opie said originally that she thought

1268
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 3: this was the.

1269
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:27,759
Speaker 1: House sitter, the house hitter, dog sitter right. Who knows

1270
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:30,080
Speaker 1: if that was really going on or if it's mental

1271
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:34,880
Speaker 1: gymnastics to justify the unjustifiable. Holy cow, I did not

1272
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 1: expect this post to blow up from my insomnia rant.

1273
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 1: Apparently four point three thousand people are here to validate me.

1274
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:43,440
Speaker 1: Thank you all. I cannot load the post at home

1275
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:45,120
Speaker 1: now due to how big it is, and it is

1276
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 1: locked now due to so many comments, so I cannot

1277
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:50,200
Speaker 1: answer any questions. We still don't have water or power,

1278
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:53,160
Speaker 1: but Sam and Grandpa are currently hooking up a generator

1279
00:54:53,239 --> 00:54:55,640
Speaker 1: for the upcoming cold nights. I hope everyone else who

1280
00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:58,480
Speaker 1: is suffering from this disaster the best. Please do not

1281
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 1: hesitate to take the help they are offering. The donation

1282
00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:03,920
Speaker 1: centers are literally bursting full, and cannot take any more.

1283
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 1: That helps me keep my faith in humanity. I'm fairly

1284
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:09,279
Speaker 1: resolved that there is no point in continuing even a

1285
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:12,680
Speaker 1: distant relationship with these people. Got to tell you this too.

1286
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:15,920
Speaker 1: Sam has a part time job in computers. His other

1287
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:18,160
Speaker 1: boss sat him down and insisted he fill out his

1288
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:21,239
Speaker 1: FEMA application and submitted on the clock before he was

1289
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:23,399
Speaker 1: allowed to do any other work. That's a good boss.

1290
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:25,840
Speaker 3: Well, it seems like things are, you know, for what

1291
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:29,320
Speaker 3: they can be. Obviously in a really terrible situation, looking

1292
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:31,000
Speaker 3: a little bit better. Yeah, and it seems like op

1293
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:33,200
Speaker 3: and our family are safe, which is, you know, the

1294
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:35,760
Speaker 3: main thing that you can ask for. But yeah, definitely

1295
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:37,680
Speaker 3: get rid of this fake friend.

1296
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:41,719
Speaker 1: Fake friend. That sounds absolutely terrible, damn, But I love

1297
00:55:41,840 --> 00:55:44,480
Speaker 1: opiece positivity and outlook on life. It seems like you're

1298
00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:45,960
Speaker 1: a really solid person.

1299
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:48,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, a good person to be around when you're in

1300
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 3: a really awful situation. But you can't control and you

1301
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:54,239
Speaker 3: have to try and find like ways to I don't know,

1302
00:55:54,520 --> 00:55:57,719
Speaker 3: push through with your family. But yeah, no, everyone, to

1303
00:55:57,880 --> 00:55:59,759
Speaker 3: everyone who's affected by this, I hope that you are

1304
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 3: all safe, and I hope that everything is okay.

1305
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:06,200
Speaker 1: And if you do use YouTube content to get you

1306
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:09,160
Speaker 1: through the hard days, we hope we can help you. Yeah,

1307
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:11,560
Speaker 1: you can join us live on YouTube every weekday at

1308
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 1: three pm PST. Just tap our profile.

1309
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:16,560
Speaker 3: But That is the end of this episode.

1310
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:17,400
Speaker 1: That is the end.

1311
00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:20,360
Speaker 3: So we love you. We haven't done it lots, but

1312
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:23,320
Speaker 3: we love you, Love you and see you tomorrow.