Speaker 1: Boom. If you thought four hours a day dred minutes
Speaker 1: a week was enough, I think again. He's the last
Speaker 1: remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
Speaker 1: He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as
Speaker 1: the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House
Speaker 1: of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth
Speaker 1: Hour with Ben Maller starts right now, and so it
Speaker 1: begins another terrifying, adrenaline charged edition of The Fifth Hour
Speaker 1: with Ben Maller and yes, God, David ges Gon. But
Speaker 1: think of it like the circus, you know, back in
Speaker 1: the day when the circus was a big thing. You know,
Speaker 1: you won't believe your ears, not eyes, because we can't
Speaker 1: see anything. It's it's audio. It's all we have here.
Speaker 1: But we are built to a maze. So what do
Speaker 1: they say, come one, come all fun for all ages.
Speaker 1: Actually it's not really fun for all ages because we
Speaker 1: have you know, we have adult content. We're allowed to
Speaker 1: the curse on the podcast, but we begin to do
Speaker 1: in The Fifth Hour is on the as you obviously
Speaker 1: found the show, but it's available anywhere you can get
Speaker 1: great podcasts. And I heart obviously part of that it's
Speaker 1: part of the I Heart Podcast network and it's available
Speaker 1: all over the place of the global reach of podcasting
Speaker 1: and people checking in and listening all over the place.
Speaker 1: So here's the menu. Not to dilly dolly, because we
Speaker 1: dilly dally at the beginning here, guess hunt and people
Speaker 1: get very upset a lot of downtime. I want to
Speaker 1: hear downtime. So we have the menu. At the bistro,
Speaker 1: Benny's Bistro, who were serving up. We got Uncle Mo,
Speaker 1: the Bender, zombies, goats, spiders, and lazy horses. Study this
Speaker 1: which I love because that's just the way I can
Speaker 1: justify me reading these stupid studies and will debate whether
Speaker 1: those are legit or not. It's in the bag. Those
Speaker 1: are actual questions by actual listeners. That's real content. Pete
Speaker 1: and Pittsburgh who said that's not real content. That's real,
Speaker 1: legitimate content that leads to amazing conversation. And don't stick
Speaker 1: the sports stories of the week and anything else that
Speaker 1: comes up between now and then. Well, full disclaimer too
Speaker 1: for our audience. You sound like you're alert and awake.
Speaker 1: Why well, I mean there's reasons for that. I don't sleep.
Speaker 1: I believe I am some kind of zombie or something
Speaker 1: like that. And my, uh, there's a gardener at the
Speaker 1: Mallard mansion who has decided that, you know, since he
Speaker 1: has a regular schedule, he doesn't care that I work overnights.
Speaker 1: And he shows up and he woke me up. I
Speaker 1: think I got two and a half hours of sleep.
Speaker 1: And I'm not kidding. I believe I got two and
Speaker 1: a half hours of sleep. Uh so I might need
Speaker 1: to get some cocaine or something like that, but I'm kidding,
Speaker 1: but you're not. Yeah. No, So it's and so I
Speaker 1: called you up because you always a bitch and complain
Speaker 1: you wine, you have a hissy fit every week. Oh
Speaker 1: you're very bit uh uh So I say, okay, uh touche,
Speaker 1: I am up. I will do this. Let's let's knock
Speaker 1: it out. Called you up and uh, you were not
Speaker 1: even where you were supposed to be. You were not
Speaker 1: there now, and then so I'd of wait, and then
Speaker 1: you got there a little bit before you were supposed
Speaker 1: to be there, and then I'd wait, Yeah, because somebody
Speaker 1: else was recording a podcast in this. I mean, we've
Speaker 1: you know how big I Heart is the Premier Networks.
Speaker 1: We have one podcast studio. It's massive. It is a
Speaker 1: massive company, and we have one studio. That's amazing to me.
Speaker 1: There's and there's so many people doing these podcasts. Obviously,
Speaker 1: for I Heeart in the in our facility is one
Speaker 1: place we can record the podcast. Not that we're complaining,
Speaker 1: because that would be wrong, and that we no no,
Speaker 1: no new, new, new, new new, all right, But anyway,
Speaker 1: let's get to Uncle Mo. So I have been peppered
Speaker 1: since the World Series ended this week in the Nationals,
Speaker 1: my Washington Nationals, my adopted team Natitude beating the Houston Astros.
Speaker 1: I've been peppered with email with smarty pants saying the
Speaker 1: Washington Nationals they won ben because of momentum. Now, over
Speaker 1: the years, if you've been with me on the radio,
Speaker 1: I have done many a rant, usually one or two
Speaker 1: a year, about my longstanding position that there is no
Speaker 1: such thing as momentum. Uh. And I haven't done one
Speaker 1: of these recently, but some of the old school listeners remember,
Speaker 1: and they wanted to bust my balls, and so they
Speaker 1: have been emailing me, and so I wanted to address
Speaker 1: Uncle Mo al right, because I do believe there is
Speaker 1: no such thing as momentum, and I did the Washington
Speaker 1: Nationals win the last two games? To the Washington Nationals
Speaker 1: score a bunch of runs after the seventh thinging, Yes,
Speaker 1: all of that is true, but it does not prove momentum.
Speaker 1: And I have said this since very early. I had
Speaker 1: a epiphany early on in my broadcasting careyer, and it was,
Speaker 1: first of all, these these terms that we use in sports,
Speaker 1: and I use some of them also, I'm not against
Speaker 1: the using them, but I know they're bullshit. But you
Speaker 1: know things chemistry, momentum, intangible intangibles, veteran leadership, you know,
Speaker 1: the mentors of sports. All of this is just gibberish.
Speaker 1: I mean, these these are all things. You know what
Speaker 1: they all have in common. Guests, they're all weasel words.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, they're weasel term. You cannot see them, you
Speaker 1: cannot touch them. Like if I say, hey, they've got momentum,
Speaker 1: will show me what that means? Like intangible terms to
Speaker 1: the Nationals had momentum and then they went back home
Speaker 1: and they didn't have momentum anymore, and then the Astros
Speaker 1: had momentum. Why would that be the case? And how
Speaker 1: do you get momentum? Can you buy momentum? Can you
Speaker 1: go on Amazon and get some momentum, momentum and all
Speaker 1: that stuff. So I mean, it's just it's just bs
Speaker 1: and I I believe that these games are one based
Speaker 1: on a number of things, but things like talent, having
Speaker 1: good players, fundamentals, which means doing the things required taking
Speaker 1: pitches in baseball, fouling pitches off, also throwing strikes, the
Speaker 1: basic things the bedrock of these sports that we talked about. Uh.
Speaker 1: And obviously whoever performs better, but that's not that's something
Speaker 1: you can actually tangibly look at and see. And momentum
Speaker 1: is an illusionary thing. Uh. And I will say that
Speaker 1: to my last breath on this mortal coil. Uh, it's
Speaker 1: not real. Um, you know. And now people get confident,
Speaker 1: and you know, some people said, well that's momentum, not
Speaker 1: not necessarily. But you know who I blame for this
Speaker 1: gasca You blame you blame the suckers out there, well
Speaker 1: kind of, but I blame the sports writers, the early
Speaker 1: sportswriters in America, which really set the narrative for all this,
Speaker 1: Like when baseball was big in the early nineteen hundreds
Speaker 1: and when there was no television and radio, and they
Speaker 1: the sports writer was the king there were eight papers
Speaker 1: in some cities, you know, ten papers in New York
Speaker 1: and all that, and so they, the sports writers had
Speaker 1: to fill a lot of content in those newspapers because
Speaker 1: that's all people got their Internet. They had all the
Speaker 1: information from the newspapers, and so they created a lot
Speaker 1: of bullshit to fill newspaper stories. You know, it's even
Speaker 1: today we hear how many times you hear, well, whoever's
Speaker 1: got the most Super Bowl experience is gonna win, you know,
Speaker 1: all the time every single season. Yeah, defense wins championships
Speaker 1: unless it doesn't home field advantage. You know, oh, I
Speaker 1: believes home field. The one that really drives me bonkers
Speaker 1: is locker room chemistry. Now you know why that one
Speaker 1: drive drives me insane because it has no bearing on
Speaker 1: what happens on the court, or on the field, or
Speaker 1: on the ice exactly. Like for example, we'll just use
Speaker 1: the current contemporary example. The Houston Astros had an amazing
Speaker 1: regular season. I think we could all agree on it.
Speaker 1: And I don't like the Astros and I like to
Speaker 1: take my shots at them, but they were the top team.
Speaker 1: They won one more game than the Dodgers during the
Speaker 1: regular season. They had everything going They had found the
Speaker 1: nectar of the gods. They were dominating. They all seemingly
Speaker 1: loved each other with their arrogant struts and their high
Speaker 1: stepping in the flamboyance there. And they were the bad
Speaker 1: boys of baseball. And they had all the cy young winners.
Speaker 1: They had the top pitcher in baseball, Garrett Cole justin Verland,
Speaker 1: or the Hall of Famer Zack Granka Hall of Fame.
Speaker 1: They had all these people lined up in a row.
Speaker 1: Great chemistry. And I promise you, handed God, if the
Speaker 1: Astros had won Game seven of the World Series, if
Speaker 1: they had not choked it away and won the game
Speaker 1: two to one or two to nothing, we would have
Speaker 1: seen tons of stories the last couple of days here
Speaker 1: about how well the Astros just had better chemistry than
Speaker 1: anyone else. Uh well, okay, I wouldn't say they didn't
Speaker 1: get along with each other, but it didn't matter. It's irrelevant.
Speaker 1: You know the Washington Nationals, And now people are saying
Speaker 1: that about the Nationals, Well, they just rallied together when
Speaker 1: they fell behind early in the season. They were nineteen
Speaker 1: and thirty one. That's also bullshit. Uh, it had nothing
Speaker 1: new with the outcome because nobody would have mentioned that
Speaker 1: had they lost Game seven of the World Series. So
Speaker 1: my point is is to sum this upcast gun, because
Speaker 1: I know we want to keep the podcast. I'm moving,
Speaker 1: as they say, but these things, these terms are for
Speaker 1: the most part, used to explain the outcome of a game,
Speaker 1: and then they are forgotten when the other thing happened.
Speaker 1: And I was around early in my career before I
Speaker 1: became a blow hard talk show host, I was a
Speaker 1: radio stringer, reporter and radio and I was all I
Speaker 1: did was go to games for the mighty six ninety
Speaker 1: in San Diego, and I covered the l A sports scene,
Speaker 1: so I'd go, you know, every night. You know, I
Speaker 1: had no women would date me, so I would go
Speaker 1: to like Laker, Clipper games, Dodgers, Angels. There was no NFL.
Speaker 1: What at USC football, U c l A football, I
Speaker 1: mean literally pretty much in the King's the Ducks. I
Speaker 1: mean pretty much every night I was at a game.
Speaker 1: That was my life. I had no I know, outside,
Speaker 1: I didn't watch television, I didn't watch movies, but I
Speaker 1: was around these teams. I remember the Clippers because I
Speaker 1: even liked them back then. Um, they had some horrifically
Speaker 1: bad teams that should have been taken with the slaughterhouse
Speaker 1: before the season. I mean the season turned when they
Speaker 1: started Game one because they were terrible. That was the
Speaker 1: turning point the season. But anyway, so uh, they some
Speaker 1: of those teams loved each other. They're they're the guys
Speaker 1: hung out together with the other families. They had great
Speaker 1: quote chemistry unquote. And you know what else. They had
Speaker 1: a bunch of losses. They were terrible, They sucked, you know,
Speaker 1: on the court, they were horrific. But they liked each other.
Speaker 1: They got along. You know, they had veterans and the
Speaker 1: young players. And all that is is that's my that's
Speaker 1: my point. And you gas on our big time play
Speaker 1: by play guy, and someday you'll leave us because you'd
Speaker 1: be like the play by play guy for the Memphis
Speaker 1: Grizzlies or something like that, and you will use all
Speaker 1: these terms. I don't think I will. And part of
Speaker 1: the thing, part of the reason for that is as
Speaker 1: I think people get confused with a team getting hot
Speaker 1: and momentum, it it's almost to compare it. It's almost
Speaker 1: like feeling pressured into doing something like let's say, for example,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to sell you a car, but you need
Speaker 1: a car. It's not pressuring you into buying a car.
Speaker 1: It's more like having a sense of urgency and their point.
Speaker 1: It's in a season, whether it's for baseball, football, hockey, basketball,
Speaker 1: whatever it is, that a team gets hot, but they
Speaker 1: get hot because things just happen where you get the
Speaker 1: right shots that go down, you get the right coaching,
Speaker 1: players are actually making plays. So it's not like these
Speaker 1: guys are just falling off the map. It's not like
Speaker 1: the Houston Astros just fell off the map. It's just
Speaker 1: that they got beat by a better team on that night.
Speaker 1: And this kind of goes back to what you mentioned
Speaker 1: two thousand and seventeen. And he was also last year
Speaker 1: that the Dodgers were better than the Astros during the
Speaker 1: regular season and they got beat in the World Series.
Speaker 1: But that's not an indictment of what the Dodgers did
Speaker 1: during the regular season. That's just about the Astros making
Speaker 1: some plays in a couple of games during the World
Speaker 1: Series that ultimately led to the triumph. When you looked
Speaker 1: at the runs that were scoring that seven games series,
Speaker 1: they're identical. Yeah, listen, I I have long especially in baseball,
Speaker 1: but like it's much harder to make the playoffs than
Speaker 1: to win the World Series. I mean, it's much You
Speaker 1: gotta be good from the late March until October one.
Speaker 1: You only have to be really good in you know,
Speaker 1: for a month now you're playing better teams and you
Speaker 1: gotta have you know, the tunnel vision and all that
Speaker 1: crap um. But yeah, it's much more difficult. It's a
Speaker 1: very random thing. But I do love the tight took
Speaker 1: a syndrome that we get a lot in these big games.
Speaker 1: It's just wonderful. The flop sweat, the sweaty hands that happened.
Speaker 1: You can even go as far as to say stage fright,
Speaker 1: which I think we've all had at some point or another.
Speaker 1: So that's good. I mean, the momentum goes as far
Speaker 1: as you're starting pitching goes, and it was on display
Speaker 1: during the seven game series when he had Max Scherzer.
Speaker 1: Given that is even that is bullshit, because Zach Grinky
Speaker 1: pitched better than than Scherzer in in Game seven, just
Speaker 1: because it was until Will Harris came in and puked
Speaker 1: and that was it. But see, here's the thing though,
Speaker 1: and this goes back to even the eight eight World Series.
Speaker 1: Kurt Gibson's home run meant nothing unless there was a
Speaker 1: runner on board. It was the lock that hurt him.
Speaker 1: It wasn't the home run to and Mike Davis. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Mike Davis, he was on board even that, you know.
Speaker 1: And I I said this on the radio the other
Speaker 1: day that I'm convinced the Dodgers I've decided now to
Speaker 1: this is how I sleep guests gun be sure to
Speaker 1: catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at
Speaker 1: two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio
Speaker 1: and the I Heart Radio app. I've decided the reason
Speaker 1: the Dodgers are choking dogs in these these big games
Speaker 1: in the playoffs, this this era is it's still payback
Speaker 1: for the Dodgers beating that Mighty Oakland A's team that
Speaker 1: they will sort of made a deal with the devil,
Speaker 1: all right, and there's some kind of deal that was
Speaker 1: made and this is the payback, alright. What's not why
Speaker 1: the Cincinnati Reds have been so banded the last well
Speaker 1: that and there's yeah, they're still paying for the sins
Speaker 1: of Marge Shot, the old owner of the team. I
Speaker 1: don't think just because Granky won an inning further doesn't
Speaker 1: mean he out pitchmax shirts or keep in mind Houston
Speaker 1: only scored two runs, and they had batters that got
Speaker 1: on board and every single inning until he departed, I
Speaker 1: mean scattered seven hits in the ball game and want
Speaker 1: four batters. I think they fell apart. I mean they
Speaker 1: they had one hit after they fell behind the Astros
Speaker 1: that they did nothing right. Julie Guriel had a single
Speaker 1: and I think the seventh and they went meekly out
Speaker 1: after that. Ain't nothing. They looked like the Dodgers in
Speaker 1: a big game. Well no, I mean to be fair
Speaker 1: of the Dodgers. What the bed in the first ending
Speaker 1: of that game against the Astros in two thousand seventeen.
Speaker 1: So anyway, you don't have to remind me, all right?
Speaker 1: Moving on, the bender, not Aaron bender, not the news bender,
Speaker 1: not an alcoholic bender as in the Tales of My Life,
Speaker 1: a fender bender, guesscan. I don't think you noticed this um,
Speaker 1: which shows you you're not very uh perceptive, But I
Speaker 1: noticed it. It doesn't mean I need to post it
Speaker 1: on social media like you did with my car. Well,
Speaker 1: I didn't post you weren't in an accident, but I
Speaker 1: took a photo of your terrible parking a window got show.
Speaker 1: I guess Mercury is in retrograde. So I actually saved
Speaker 1: this with the podcast. Did not mention this at all
Speaker 1: what I've been going through off the radio on on
Speaker 1: the radio. So I'll save it here for the podcast.
Speaker 1: So because this is like for the heart of super
Speaker 1: fans of the show, this podcast, I mean, you're a
Speaker 1: different kind of fan. Yeah, you've gone above and beyond
Speaker 1: just a list of the radio show, but now to
Speaker 1: download this podcast. Oh my god. So the Mallarmobile, which
Speaker 1: is right next to the Batmobile and Iconic Automobiles, has
Speaker 1: been dinged up pretty good here. Last week, it was Friday,
Speaker 1: Friday evening. I went to have a nice meal. I
Speaker 1: went to have some chicken thing cheat meal. I don't
Speaker 1: eat much during the week, so when I had said, okay,
Speaker 1: I'll give it a good cheap meal. Uh, And then
Speaker 1: I went to the store to pick up some bread
Speaker 1: because I was gonna make something else later. And so
Speaker 1: I picked up some bread. By the way, is that
Speaker 1: not the most boring statements? Not that the most grown
Speaker 1: up thing? I went to the store to pick up
Speaker 1: some bread, right, Yeah, a Friday night. You just sound
Speaker 1: old and right, How dull. Is that you sound domesticated. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll blame my wife. You no, no, your but your
Speaker 1: wife isn't Your wife isn't a home body. She's like both.
Speaker 1: She's like a home body and she's not. And you know,
Speaker 1: she likes to go out and be she's always a
Speaker 1: life of the party. But she'sn't mind being at home.
Speaker 1: But the problem, my my wife got me to move
Speaker 1: to suburbia. You know, I was in the heart of
Speaker 1: the heart of the jungle, the heart of the concrete
Speaker 1: jungle there in the middle of the city and all
Speaker 1: that stuff. And uh, you know, I about them living,
Speaker 1: you know, the cookie cutter suburbs right near Vegas, on
Speaker 1: the way to on the way to Vegas. But anyway, so, uh,
Speaker 1: they didn't have what I was looking more, here's the kicker.
Speaker 1: So they didn't have what I was looking for. There's
Speaker 1: a specific type of role uh that I when I
Speaker 1: make my cheese steak, my homemade Philly cheese steak, there's
Speaker 1: a certain kind of bread that I want and I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna, not gonna settle for anything else. So anyway,
Speaker 1: I got in my car, I drive out of the
Speaker 1: lot at this grocery store and as I am driving
Speaker 1: towards the exit, I hear bam man, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck? I anything? And this car had backed
Speaker 1: out of a parking space and slammed the back of
Speaker 1: my car as I'm driving out of a lot, and
Speaker 1: so I'm like off, you know, you hear that sound.
Speaker 1: You're like, My immediate reaction is all right, maybe it's
Speaker 1: not that bad. Boy. That sounded bad, you know, And
Speaker 1: you don't know until you get out of car how
Speaker 1: fucked up your car is, you know. And I so
Speaker 1: I'm freaking, you know, I'm like, crap, you know, this
Speaker 1: is a pain of the ass, you know, the whole thing.
Speaker 1: And so I got out a car with a woman
Speaker 1: who hit me. She's got like three kids with her.
Speaker 1: They're all like young kids. She's freaking out right, she says,
Speaker 1: I've never been in this. But then the nightmare, you know,
Speaker 1: the real plot, twist your guest gun, the kids come
Speaker 1: out and blame you. No, no, the kids didn't blame me.
Speaker 1: They were eating like lollipops and uh and ice cream
Speaker 1: bars or whatever, so they were happy. But she says,
Speaker 1: I have no insurance. Oh boy, yeah, she's I got
Speaker 1: no insurance. Oh boy, I said, what the what the
Speaker 1: hell is that? How do you know how insurance? Everyone's
Speaker 1: got insurance? I do kaiko commercial twenty times an hour.
Speaker 1: How does know what? How do you not having sued?
Speaker 1: So anyway, I don't have insurance. So okay, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: on the phone with I called the insurance I have.
Speaker 1: I called him up. And as I'm on the phone
Speaker 1: filing the claim, she says, no, no, no, no, She
Speaker 1: says to me, don't worry. My husband has actually has
Speaker 1: the insurance. He's gonna take care of it. She's like
Speaker 1: kind of encouraged me to get off the phone. She
Speaker 1: was like really emotional. I was like, okay, you know,
Speaker 1: I felt bad. She's a woman with three kids, you know,
Speaker 1: and I guess I have some heart. So I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: you know, I'll give her a solid I don't want
Speaker 1: to get her in trouble here. Um, and so okay,
Speaker 1: I hung up filed before I had filed the report,
Speaker 1: and then I get the run around from the husband.
Speaker 1: Uh and he's like, hey, you know, I'm working. You know,
Speaker 1: I don't have any time, but you give me a
Speaker 1: few days. You know. He's gave me the runaround. Don't
Speaker 1: tell me, and he said, uh, I'll get you what
Speaker 1: you need door and other stuff. So I anyway, I
Speaker 1: eventually uh, I went to meet him to get the information.
Speaker 1: Apparently he can't text and uh. Anyway, it turns out
Speaker 1: that he did not produce the insurance. He was lying
Speaker 1: and they didn't have any insurance. And so now fortunately
Speaker 1: I have liability. We have to pay a deductible for
Speaker 1: being hit by an uninsured driver. And I still have
Speaker 1: not had the mallan wibile repaired. By the way, So
Speaker 1: did you do your due diligence? Did you take a
Speaker 1: picture of her license plate? Take a picture her car? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have her I have her information, so I have that.
Speaker 1: But it's a it's a mess. Man. Did you call
Speaker 1: the police and let them know? I did not, Um,
Speaker 1: but I have some kind of have a number obviously
Speaker 1: a phone number for the husband, so I have a
Speaker 1: way of self contacting. I don't know if it's a
Speaker 1: hit and run because he did stay. They just didn't
Speaker 1: have insurance. I don't know your dad would know that.
Speaker 1: I don't know it's legal to drive without insurance. That's
Speaker 1: what I'm thinking, man, You know, I mean you need
Speaker 1: you need to put the screws to her. And I
Speaker 1: don't want to. Man, she seemed like a nice person,
Speaker 1: but I mean, don't hit my fucking car. And and then, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, I said my first you know, I said,
Speaker 1: this is great. This is how spoiled I am. When
Speaker 1: I got out of car, I saw my car was
Speaker 1: all screwed up. I looked at her. I said, what,
Speaker 1: you don't have a backup camera? Oh boy? And she
Speaker 1: said no. And say it's it's pretty hard to miss
Speaker 1: your car because you have an ugly ass color on
Speaker 1: your car. I have a beautiful car. I want you
Speaker 1: to know that. Steve Harvey, the iconic American pop culture stars,
Speaker 1: Steve Harvey my colleague, guess who works across the hall
Speaker 1: from right across the hall for me, I got that. Uh.
Speaker 1: And he informs me that he liked the color of
Speaker 1: my car as he was walking to his bent like
Speaker 1: the car in the parking lot. The car is fine,
Speaker 1: the color is fuck. He liked the color of the
Speaker 1: car and the whole thing. No, no no, no, he's probably
Speaker 1: do do do do do do do do? He's probably
Speaker 1: lying to you know. He wasn't lying to me. He
Speaker 1: was talking to one of his like security guys or whatever,
Speaker 1: one of his muscle guys, maybe his color blind. Are
Speaker 1: you taking shots at the great Steve Harvey? Yeah? Four.
Speaker 1: It's also unfounted, unwarranted, and might I say, unprovoked. How
Speaker 1: would you describe the color of your car? A beautiful
Speaker 1: bluish teal color. It's ugly. It's like it's like three
Speaker 1: weeks ago when you woke up and you were sick,
Speaker 1: And every car, every other goddamn every other car is
Speaker 1: either it's black, white, or gray, red. Yellow. No, I
Speaker 1: don't see a lot of road it's mostly most cars
Speaker 1: are white, black, or gray. The most ticketed car in
Speaker 1: the United States is what color? Well, it's probably red.
Speaker 1: The red stands out to the eye, red and yellow.
Speaker 1: I don't see very many yellow cars at all. Corpetts,
Speaker 1: Why of call you live? Let me point out right now.
Speaker 1: Gascon lives west of the four oh five in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: Anybody that loves l a west of the four oh
Speaker 1: five four boogie boe. You are east of the four,
Speaker 1: it's still boogie east of the four oh five. But
Speaker 1: once you get past West l A not quite in
Speaker 1: Beverly Hills, not quite as booze that's that's the way
Speaker 1: the map of l A breaks down. I live south
Speaker 1: of the one ten Freeway. I live in the Harbor area.
Speaker 1: That's where the grit is. That's where the lunch pail is.
Speaker 1: That the blue collar workers are. You know what you're
Speaker 1: in the earth? Your high school fight song was it
Speaker 1: included law d Doll. That was in the fight song
Speaker 1: night hyebrow snob all that iron man football is what
Speaker 1: I played back in the day. Blue collar. My town
Speaker 1: is made up of doctors, police officers, longshoreman, firefighters, teachers,
Speaker 1: just great people, everyday people. That's true that people live
Speaker 1: near you and then you live up in the mountain
Speaker 1: looking down and spitting on them. Well, that's kind of
Speaker 1: like what Harvey. Steve Harvey did to you in your car.
Speaker 1: Wo be sure to catch live editions of The Ben
Speaker 1: Maller Show week days at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1: Steve a tight This kind of goes all the way.
Speaker 1: And see how this thing goes all the way back
Speaker 1: to what you did when you defecated on me in
Speaker 1: my parking spot, and then you started posting those pictures
Speaker 1: with a dent on the side of my car, and
Speaker 1: now have a rear window that's blasted out. This comes
Speaker 1: back to you. This is all karma for what kind
Speaker 1: of ship you were talking on your show Money through Friday?
Speaker 1: So if I hadn't done that, then the woman wouldn't
Speaker 1: have hit you? Never know? Well I do know. No,
Speaker 1: if I hadn't decided to go get bread, well, then
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have had you know, you know I don't
Speaker 1: feel bad for you. Why not because I feel terrible
Speaker 1: for me my partner, are you? I think I feel
Speaker 1: more bad for the woman because she had her Friday
Speaker 1: night with her kids ruined because your teel car got
Speaker 1: in her way. Well, she went to the store on
Speaker 1: Friday night. How great a night did you to do?
Speaker 1: What for bread? Run in for two minutes? I was
Speaker 1: for bread. Well, if you don't are not going out
Speaker 1: and you're gonna make a sandwich to watch some games
Speaker 1: on a Friday night, that's how you do it. Games
Speaker 1: for us on Friday nights are usually at four o'clock
Speaker 1: or seven o'clock. Yeah, I didn't. I went out like
Speaker 1: it was like five o'clock or something like that. It
Speaker 1: wasn't like it wasn't like ten o'clock at night that
Speaker 1: it was all right, moving on, dummy, let's go to zombies.
Speaker 1: Now this is honor. I know Halloween's already happened, but
Speaker 1: in honor of Halloween weekend, the post Halloween, there was
Speaker 1: a study done out of the fifty three largest US
Speaker 1: metropolitan areas, which is the most equipped to survive a
Speaker 1: zombie apocalypse? Man, Yeah, I threw a curveball at you,
Speaker 1: and now you're about to say a riva der jade
Speaker 1: to that. You don't know what you're You are gob smacked.
Speaker 1: You don't know how to handle your thunderstruck a time.
Speaker 1: We'll just pick a city. This is a city you know,
Speaker 1: by the way, is the city you're familiar with? New Orleans?
Speaker 1: New Orleans? No, According to this, I'll give you the
Speaker 1: top three. Number three is Columbus, Ohio, right, Columbus, Number
Speaker 1: two Salt Lake City, and number one beyond reproach. When
Speaker 1: it comes to the zombie apocalypse, Adalanto. No Boston? All right, yeah,
Speaker 1: Boston is Now. Do zombies exist? The guess do they actually? Um? No, no,
Speaker 1: they do not, right, So that's that's b s. They
Speaker 1: do not exist. Are you walking dead? Fan? Uh? No,
Speaker 1: I'm not you. I used to like the first four seasons,
Speaker 1: and then it tapered off, and it really how many
Speaker 1: seasons of The Walking Dead were there? That's still going.
Speaker 1: I think it's like season eight or season nine right now,
Speaker 1: is that right? Yeah? Yeah, it was really good to start.
Speaker 1: The first four four seasons were really good, but after
Speaker 1: that it's really faun off the map. So I don't
Speaker 1: really I'm not a big zombie fan, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: What do you Harrelson's in that movie Zombie Land. I
Speaker 1: know you didn't watch that. The second one is coming out.
Speaker 1: You really have a low inventory with movies, so I
Speaker 1: really can't dip into any of this stuff. That's why
Speaker 1: I prefer talking. I have a job, and I work
Speaker 1: a lot, and I'm dedicated in my craft, and I
Speaker 1: don't have as much free time as you. If I
Speaker 1: had as much free time as you, I just see
Speaker 1: every TV show on HBO and all the movies, because
Speaker 1: all I'd be doing is watching those shows. But I
Speaker 1: actually watched sports that I'm a loser. I watch games.
Speaker 1: You watch documentaries too, Uh yeah, like one day a week.
Speaker 1: I'll watch like a documentary a week. That's how I
Speaker 1: kind of unplugged. And sometimes I don't even do that
Speaker 1: sometimes Friday night. Uh yeah, like late though, like overnight,
Speaker 1: you know, Friday late, sometimes Saturday late when you're on
Speaker 1: demand or whatever thinking about your den and car? Are
Speaker 1: you judging me? Is that what you're doing? So, just
Speaker 1: to add to the list, you're my my life. Apparently
Speaker 1: this is middle aged. I have had acid reflux, which
Speaker 1: I'm still dealing with a little bit. I've had my
Speaker 1: car got smashed. I had a back injury. Am I
Speaker 1: missing anything? Gasking on what other te tongue? I bit
Speaker 1: my tongue and burned my tongue at the same time,
Speaker 1: and I couldn't talk. I had a lisp for like
Speaker 1: three days on the radio. Embarrassed myself. That reminds me,
Speaker 1: come America's sweetheart, is what I am? Well, we need
Speaker 1: to summon your your hippie wife. I woke up this
Speaker 1: morning and my knuckles and my wrists were cracking after
Speaker 1: I washed my hands. No, no, the skin like the Now, well,
Speaker 1: she's Mary Poppins. My wife's Mary Poppins. So she's got
Speaker 1: a bag with all kinds of remedies and all that.
Speaker 1: She's like Doc Mike, but better looking, you know, and younger.
Speaker 1: So but Doc, that's true. Yeah, Doc's got a potion
Speaker 1: for everything and all that. So yeah, uh, let's get
Speaker 1: to goats, spiders and lazy horses and and I wanted
Speaker 1: to work in more animal stories, guess on although spiders
Speaker 1: aren't technically animals and all that, but I figured why not.
Speaker 1: So these fires that have been burning up California, it
Speaker 1: is a yearly tradition, unfortunately, and we are surrounded by
Speaker 1: them in southern California where you live, and I know
Speaker 1: our our our studios, the I Heart Media building. There
Speaker 1: have been at least three fires the last two weeks
Speaker 1: in that area. It's smelled in the building. Yeah where
Speaker 1: I live now, Uh, there has been some fires here
Speaker 1: and they the smoke has been like even with my
Speaker 1: windows closed and my doors closed, I can still smell
Speaker 1: the smoke. It's a big pan of it. But I
Speaker 1: don't live in the hills, and so there's not that
Speaker 1: much risk for any kind of real fire hitting the
Speaker 1: Mallard mansion. But did you see what happened at the
Speaker 1: Reagan Presidential Library where they almost lost the Reagan Presidential Library.
Speaker 1: I saw, I actually saw a great picture of Air
Speaker 1: Force one with a shot and outdoor shot of a
Speaker 1: fire that was one look from a couple of journalists
Speaker 1: that were inside the museum. Yeah, it was crazy. My
Speaker 1: friend Steve Futterman, the great news reporter for CBS, was
Speaker 1: there and you know fireman, you know fun any uh
Speaker 1: So he took some photos and when I saw the
Speaker 1: TV feed and he said, you know what they said,
Speaker 1: saved the Reagan Library. If this hadn't happened, the thing
Speaker 1: would have burned, baby burned. And that's the that's the
Speaker 1: burial spot of Ronald Reake and the great presidents in
Speaker 1: American history. Ronald Reagan bring down that wall and way
Speaker 1: and I mean it would have burned up the whole thing,
Speaker 1: all his files, all his records. Anyway. So the thing
Speaker 1: that saved the Reagan Library goats, five hundred goats. Did
Speaker 1: you see this? Back back in May, the Presidential Library
Speaker 1: hired goats two. They brought him in to eat all
Speaker 1: of the plants, you know, the kind of the weeds
Speaker 1: and all that that burned up in these wildfires surrounding
Speaker 1: the Reagan Library as a preventative measure because of how
Speaker 1: many fires happened in the l A area, and the
Speaker 1: goats ate the brush and that created a fire break
Speaker 1: which allowed the fire department to get a handle on
Speaker 1: that part of the fire, so it didn't burn down
Speaker 1: the regular even though it looked terrible, it didn't actually
Speaker 1: get as close as as as the pictures would indicate.
Speaker 1: And uh yeah, and so I have a theory. This
Speaker 1: is invest in goats and forget Tom Brady being the goat.
Speaker 1: Let's invest in real goats. So would you write a
Speaker 1: formal letter to Governor Gavin Newsom to not conduct these
Speaker 1: power outages just tired goats? Listen? I mean, what do
Speaker 1: you hop about? Is? And the goats were apparently as
Speaker 1: a local company. I didn't know this. I didn't know
Speaker 1: the goat game. Just some research on it. Uh. It's
Speaker 1: a company called eight oh five Goats, and they cleared
Speaker 1: about thirteen acres of land. This guy started his company,
Speaker 1: last of him. This guy is gonna be so rich.
Speaker 1: It's phenomenal. He charged about a thousand dollars per acre
Speaker 1: of land, so he made thirteen rand roughly on this transaction.
Speaker 1: I want to get paid eight. Yes, we get out
Speaker 1: of this this stupid radio thing. Let's buy some goat.
Speaker 1: We'll get a farm and then we'll if I owned
Speaker 1: a mansion, all these idiots in Hollywood. They on these
Speaker 1: hills in the Hollywood Hills, and all these people who
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, they're rich and good for them.
Speaker 1: I would every year I would spend thousands of dollars
Speaker 1: on goats to clear out the side. So I have
Speaker 1: a little piece of mind. Right, So here you go.
Speaker 1: The Mallard matchion would have a moat and then it
Speaker 1: would have goats around that with a drawbridge. What's wrong
Speaker 1: with that? That'd be perfect. I would like a moat.
Speaker 1: That would moat would be great. I feel very secure.
Speaker 1: I don't need I don't need one of those doorbell
Speaker 1: cameras a moat. Yeah, that's all you would need is
Speaker 1: earthquake insurance. You would not need fire insurance. You'd be straight.
Speaker 1: I save a lot of money. So I love that
Speaker 1: the goats man. How great is that? It's just one?
Speaker 1: I mean, this is I'm telling you. We gotta get
Speaker 1: into business like this and ripple. You know, we could
Speaker 1: make a ton of money. How much does it cost
Speaker 1: to keep goats happy? Like? Apparently just need amy. They brush,
Speaker 1: so it's not that hard to feed him. No, not
Speaker 1: at all. Animals are amazing. I'm serious. So you should
Speaker 1: look into that. I'm not. I'm not kidding that. So
Speaker 1: that seems like a way to make a lot of money.
Speaker 1: Now California, everyone burn it up every year. How do
Speaker 1: we go from goats out of spiders. Well, I'm glad
Speaker 1: you brought that up, because we have a you know
Speaker 1: that this is it's a study. But I'm not. I
Speaker 1: didn't include this and study this because it's it's a
Speaker 1: it's an animal bug story. So I a double sided
Speaker 1: tape designed to stick the body tissue. And this is
Speaker 1: very important in surgery. Apparently we have operations. They say
Speaker 1: that it was invented and it was inspired by spiders.
Speaker 1: Bring in spider Man. So the medical people looked at
Speaker 1: the spiders and the way they exude glue to catch
Speaker 1: their prey in the rain, you know, when it's wet
Speaker 1: and all that stuff, but they're still able to catch things.
Speaker 1: And so the scientists at m I T in Boston
Speaker 1: or in Massachusetts, they noticed how the spiders absorbed water.
Speaker 1: They found the cheat code of that and you know,
Speaker 1: to get their next meal or whatever. And they created
Speaker 1: this sticky tape which does the same exact thing. They
Speaker 1: just mimic how the spider gets the ball and and
Speaker 1: they figured out that it works within seconds. They've tested
Speaker 1: it on pig skin and lungs, and they said, with
Speaker 1: more research, eventually this could be used in place of suitures.
Speaker 1: How about that wild? That is pretty wild. Have you
Speaker 1: have you had major surgery? Uh? Well, not since I
Speaker 1: was I had someone I was a kid, although maybe
Speaker 1: I'll have some coming up here, you never know, but
Speaker 1: uh yeah, when I was a kid, I don't remember
Speaker 1: much of but I just remember like going into the hospital,
Speaker 1: putting on the gown, which I was uncomfortable because I
Speaker 1: had no wonder wear on, and then they tell you
Speaker 1: you know, they put this thing on your face and
Speaker 1: they knock out, you know what kind of But then
Speaker 1: I've been freaked out because Looney told me every time
Speaker 1: he had some stucedure done, he he sent me some
Speaker 1: story about, you know, one out of every like a
Speaker 1: million people dies when they go under you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've I've had road tator cuff surgery twice, and I
Speaker 1: distinctly remember before I get knocked out, they make you
Speaker 1: sign and they bring in an assentusiologist and they go
Speaker 1: through your rights, They go through the risks, and then
Speaker 1: you need to sign documentation you're basically on your bed
Speaker 1: before they stick you with anesthesia, and you're saying, hey,
Speaker 1: I understand the risks of dying because of the anesthesia,
Speaker 1: and then they knock you out. Good times, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: good times. All right? Moving on the many machado of horses.
Speaker 1: So this is kind of cool. So there's a horse
Speaker 1: in China name Jingang. I believe that's he said, j
Speaker 1: I n g A n g. How would you pronounce that? Well,
Speaker 1: how would you pronounce that j I n G A
Speaker 1: n G pronouncing gang? Yeah? Wait, pronounce it one more time?
Speaker 1: Jin Yang? Is that it? I mean, I don't know
Speaker 1: how you pronounced I don't know anyway. This horse has
Speaker 1: apparently become a big star on the internet. Now I
Speaker 1: saw somebody sent me the videos. Want to bring it
Speaker 1: up here? What is this horse doing? He is going
Speaker 1: out of his way to stop working. He's the laziest
Speaker 1: horse on the plane. It the horse. You gotta check
Speaker 1: out these videos. More visual thing. But the horse pretends
Speaker 1: to be dead in an overly theatrical way. And there's
Speaker 1: videos of the horse resisting his chores by pretending to die,
Speaker 1: and like when somebody tries to get on the horse,
Speaker 1: he doesn't like that. You don't want to carry any
Speaker 1: one on his back, so he'll fall down, like the
Speaker 1: horse will fall down. This this horse. What's the horse's
Speaker 1: name again? Uh, it's j I n g a n
Speaker 1: G Jin Gang or whatever you want to we should.
Speaker 1: We need to make a phone called to China. I
Speaker 1: know you're not like in China, not anymore. I was
Speaker 1: before I promoted Hong Kong. But this horse would be
Speaker 1: perfect for your show money through Friday. This would add
Speaker 1: to your cast of bandits. Yeah, look at you, you
Speaker 1: got jokes? No, I'm I think it would be a
Speaker 1: welcome edition. Don't you think I think I'm good in that?
Speaker 1: The point? I mean, there's times that you bitch it
Speaker 1: known to me at like five o'clock in the morning
Speaker 1: when I'm dead asleep that something was not done or
Speaker 1: was done poorly, or you need to do everything yourself.
Speaker 1: Let's bring the horse in really? Yeah, is that what
Speaker 1: we're doing here? I think it'd be perfect. Fox Sports
Speaker 1: Radio has the best sports talk lineup in the nation.
Speaker 1: Catch all of our shows at Fox sports Radio dot
Speaker 1: com and within the I Heart Radio app. Search f
Speaker 1: s R to listen live. Al Right, by the way,
Speaker 1: check your phone, guest, and there's something you might want
Speaker 1: to see anyway. Uh so movement, can we move one? Yes,
Speaker 1: we can study this. Let's get to study this. So
Speaker 1: these are actual studies. Now we determine the way this
Speaker 1: segment works is we determine whether we believe the study
Speaker 1: or we don't believe this study, whether it's true or
Speaker 1: it's bullshit. And that's an honor of Penn and Teller's
Speaker 1: old show on Showtime, which was called Bullshit and it
Speaker 1: was a great show. I love the show. I wish
Speaker 1: it was still on. But anyway, So full moon Mania,
Speaker 1: so you know it's this being Halloween, we can you know,
Speaker 1: wear wolves and witches and ghosts and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: So for over the years there have been people that
Speaker 1: have pointed out that when there is a full moon
Speaker 1: on a clear night, that odd crap happens. Right, So
Speaker 1: they decided to research this and say does a full
Speaker 1: moon really cause people to act oddly, to act strange?
Speaker 1: They seen called the lunar effect. And you know the
Speaker 1: belief is that people are more impulsive, aggressive when the
Speaker 1: moon is full. And this goes back to the Bronze Age,
Speaker 1: back to ancient time. Uh. And so there's this new
Speaker 1: study out which looks into this and the relationship between
Speaker 1: the full moon and what crime is committed. Now, so
Speaker 1: this is from New York University's Better Gov team. I
Speaker 1: don't know what that is. N y U. What do
Speaker 1: you think they determined? Uh? I would say no, that
Speaker 1: there is not a there's not a coincident. There's only
Speaker 1: it's a mere coincidence that people do peculiar things when
Speaker 1: the moon is uh at full tilt as a full moon.
Speaker 1: That is correct. They determined that if crime does increase
Speaker 1: during a full moon, they said, uh, it is. They
Speaker 1: found no correlation between crimes growing up. Uh, you know,
Speaker 1: people being arrested during nights when the moon was full. Now,
Speaker 1: I think this is bullshit. I do, but I don't
Speaker 1: know about crime, but people do act differently, And I
Speaker 1: forget that study by n y U. I've got um
Speaker 1: almost twenty years of night overnight radio uh that I
Speaker 1: have as a as evidence. And my my wife who
Speaker 1: works sometimes she works the graveyard shift because of her
Speaker 1: job as a nine one one operator, and she tells
Speaker 1: me the same thing that she knows, like on those
Speaker 1: nights when there's a full moon, there's more, there's more
Speaker 1: people calling doesn't mean they're being arrested, but there's more people.
Speaker 1: So I don't agree with that stuff. I believe people
Speaker 1: do act differently. I don't know why that is. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure to make a lot of sense to me, um,
Speaker 1: but that that I do believe that happens. So I
Speaker 1: don't I don't agree with that stuff. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's trending. I don't think so at all. I think
Speaker 1: fred if that coincides with people on crime and whatnot,
Speaker 1: I'd be more often likely to believe something like that.
Speaker 1: But statistically speaking, I don't know where those numbers come
Speaker 1: from either. So, well, they looked at crime rates is
Speaker 1: what they study. But like you said, that is what's reported.
Speaker 1: That's not actually what what has people have called in
Speaker 1: for you know what I mean? Yeah, No, that's uh,
Speaker 1: that's true. All right, Moving on on study this which
Speaker 1: profession is more likely to use cocaine, opioids, and other
Speaker 1: hard drugs. Okay, I'm gonna well, I'm gonna guess. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say it's either a doctor or a lawyer, no,
Speaker 1: believe it or not. Researchers. This has comes from n
Speaker 1: y Use College of Global Public Health, well that sounds official,
Speaker 1: that sounds important. Uh. And they claim the profession that
Speaker 1: uses cocaine and or abuses prescription opioids the most entertainer. No,
Speaker 1: construction workers. Yeah, they were also found to be the
Speaker 1: second most likely profession to use weed. So there's that.
Speaker 1: And they say that these construction jobs, these people work
Speaker 1: in construction and mining industry. Uh. And there was something
Speaker 1: about tens of millions of people that work in these
Speaker 1: jobs and because they're so dangerous, they have all these
Speaker 1: risks and you fall and you get injured and all that.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just a nightmare some of these these
Speaker 1: work related injuries and they can die and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: So because of the injuries, according to their research, construction
Speaker 1: workers end up turning to drugs like coke and opioids
Speaker 1: to self medicate their pain. I guess that would make
Speaker 1: sense too, because you look at the profession itself, you'll
Speaker 1: get a lot of construction workers that are paid in cash,
Speaker 1: and and they're not paid in check. And more often
Speaker 1: than not, you're using cash, and when it's in your pocket,
Speaker 1: you're more likely to burn a hole through your pocket
Speaker 1: than you are if something is in your bank account
Speaker 1: and you gotta withdraw it well, and there's the other
Speaker 1: peer pressure thing. And most people that do cocaine don't
Speaker 1: usually do it by themselves. Am I right on? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a party d So you're gonna you're around people
Speaker 1: that do the cocaine. They're gonna try to bring you
Speaker 1: to the to the other side, if you will. Moving
Speaker 1: on dark side of retirement doing study this, and here
Speaker 1: we go and uh um. Cooper Loop tells me he
Speaker 1: wants to retire by the time he's forty. That's his dream.
Speaker 1: How when when do you want to I don't know.
Speaker 1: I see I haven't bad with ages. I don't I
Speaker 1: don't think I want to read hire. I think i'd
Speaker 1: rather just I think i'd prefer to die out of
Speaker 1: a job. But I don't know that I want to
Speaker 1: die out of the job. But I have no plans
Speaker 1: of retiring. I liked my job. I'm very lucky. I
Speaker 1: picked I picked a job where I like it. As
Speaker 1: long as someone will employ me. I plan on doing
Speaker 1: some version of audio content. I don't know that it
Speaker 1: will be on radio all the time, might just be
Speaker 1: the podcast or whatever comes. You know. I didn't mean
Speaker 1: dropped dead when I'm on the air. It sounded like dummy,
Speaker 1: That's what it sounded like. Well, you're not paying attention.
Speaker 1: You should know this better than that. Well you want
Speaker 1: to do a show, turn the mic off and then die.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah no, but you know, like I mean, chick
Speaker 1: her and I mean he died, but he filled down
Speaker 1: some steps and then he eventually but he was doing
Speaker 1: some gardening work I think in his backyard if I remember,
Speaker 1: and he fell off a ladder or something like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't mean to I don't mean the sign off
Speaker 1: the air and then sign off for carry the old
Speaker 1: the old Cubs broadcaster Harry Carey, he had something that
Speaker 1: the Phillies. One of the Phillies broadcasters a former league player,
Speaker 1: forget his name. He was a legend in Philly and
Speaker 1: he died in a hotel room. Don Drysdale and Dodger
Speaker 1: died in a hotel room in Montreal. Yeah, didn't see
Speaker 1: Mark Langston almost died a few months ago, and he
Speaker 1: was actually in the broadcast booth and they said that
Speaker 1: it was the same exact situation as Drysdale when he passed.
Speaker 1: But obviously he was in the hotel room like you mentioned.
Speaker 1: If Langston was not in the press box or in
Speaker 1: the in the booth with medical assistance around him, he
Speaker 1: would have died within five minutes. They said, Wow, I
Speaker 1: didn't know that. Yeah, I saw him pitch a no hitter.
Speaker 1: I combined no hitter with Mike Witt in an angel
Speaker 1: a long time ago. Yeah. Was that that the Big
Speaker 1: A that was at the Big A. I think it
Speaker 1: was against the Seattle Mariners, combined no hitter? Mark Langston, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Marc Lanston, alright, South Paw. Is that one of your
Speaker 1: favorite Angels? Him and Chuck Finley with his model life
Speaker 1: Connie contained or whatever. Yeah, I don't know. I was
Speaker 1: like around that. I covered the Angels and Finley played
Speaker 1: on the Team of that year in the nineties, and
Speaker 1: yeah he was. He was a piece of work, all right.
Speaker 1: Dark Side of Retirements the story we're doing right now.
Speaker 1: So I asked you, when you want to retire? You
Speaker 1: so you don't want to retire? Coop wants to retire.
Speaker 1: I don't really want to retire. Well, he studied conducted
Speaker 1: by Binghamton University shout out Tom Looney from Binghamton, and
Speaker 1: it finds that an early retirement can actually accelerate the
Speaker 1: decline of of the your brain essentially. Yeah, and then
Speaker 1: they looked at all kinds of data. They crunched the
Speaker 1: numbers of research teams noted a clear trend. They did
Speaker 1: this in China, but they said, individuals receiving pension benefits,
Speaker 1: we're experiencing much more rapid mental decline than the people
Speaker 1: the same age who were still working. Um. And and
Speaker 1: so they're using that as I mean, I would agree.
Speaker 1: I think we are designed, unfortunately as humans, to be
Speaker 1: worker ants, and we have to do something to justify
Speaker 1: our exa instance, and if we don't, I do believe
Speaker 1: you start to decline. And not that I of course
Speaker 1: I'm saying that if I if I was a trust
Speaker 1: fund baby, I might feel differently. Um, But I'm not
Speaker 1: so well. I think it's just the way of life
Speaker 1: in the United States that Europeans are drastically different because
Speaker 1: their their work life balances is is way different than
Speaker 1: what we are out here. But I think the closest
Speaker 1: comparison to this is how you'd hear you hear about
Speaker 1: elderly people. One a spouse dies, typically the other falls
Speaker 1: off right after that or shortly after that. It's women.
Speaker 1: The women love those stories, right they love the uh
Speaker 1: you know, the grandpa dies and then five minutes later
Speaker 1: the grandma dies. They love those it's a broken heart.
Speaker 1: That is a broken heart. I think it's a life purpose.
Speaker 1: So if you don't have a life purpose, especially when
Speaker 1: you retire, then you're tapping out, like what do you
Speaker 1: have to wake up for? No, I mean I think
Speaker 1: there's absolutely I think there's something that I agree with
Speaker 1: that so that when I'm moving on with a couple
Speaker 1: more here than we'll move on to the questions from
Speaker 1: listeners like yourself. So exercise for you? Now, A lot
Speaker 1: of people will say they don't have enough time to exercise.
Speaker 1: We've heard that, right, just get enough time. Well, a
Speaker 1: new study said that the average American actually has about
Speaker 1: five hours of free time every day. Think about that,
Speaker 1: five hours average American. Yeah, so what do you think
Speaker 1: people are doing taking up all the time? Television, social media, television, yes, television, smartphones,
Speaker 1: and any kind of a screen, any kind of screen.
Speaker 1: They say men have a bit more free time on
Speaker 1: day to day activities than women. Sorry, ladies, Uh, I
Speaker 1: guess dealing with the kids. But that's going to say.
Speaker 1: But incredibly, no gender or economic group is devoting even
Speaker 1: seven percent of their free time on exercise or physical fitness. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm happy to say that. I I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's seven percent, but I try god willing of four
Speaker 1: or five days a week to work out. I usually
Speaker 1: do four because of this podcast. I've had to chop
Speaker 1: a day off to prepare for the podcast. So you're
Speaker 1: really affecting my physical fitness guest on bad job by you. Uh.
Speaker 1: And I don't spend too much time on the screen,
Speaker 1: although I do watch a lot of games off my phone,
Speaker 1: so I guess that technically counts. Do you have an
Speaker 1: indication or notification on your phone that tells you what
Speaker 1: kind of time we've spent during the week on your phone?
Speaker 1: You know, I just turned that on. We we talked
Speaker 1: about that on the radio, and uh, and we we
Speaker 1: did that and yeah, I didn't even know that was
Speaker 1: an option. And I don't spend that much. Actually, I'm
Speaker 1: but I'm on my desktop a lot. I'm in my
Speaker 1: office and I've got a computer here, so I on that.
Speaker 1: I mean probably twelve hours a day. My wife would
Speaker 1: say maybe she's probably say twenty hours a day. I'm
Speaker 1: on this thing, So no wonder you're wearing glasses. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm wearing glasses because of Ben mallory dot com. The
Speaker 1: website I ran that was that destroyed my vision. And
Speaker 1: I'm thinking I also pulled my hair out because I
Speaker 1: was so stressed on that job that it was bad
Speaker 1: for my my hair and my eyesight. Other than that,
Speaker 1: I made no money on it. Uh, but at least
Speaker 1: people know who I am said in the business, they
Speaker 1: know who I am first on that weapon. Your buddy
Speaker 1: Colin Calhard knows exactly who you are. Yeah. I saw
Speaker 1: Colin at the You ran into com, but I ran
Speaker 1: into him with the golf thing, and he he regaled
Speaker 1: me with stories about how Colin Coward love when we
Speaker 1: worked at ESPN. He loved Ben mallard dot com. So
Speaker 1: you were the TMZ before TMZ. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We
Speaker 1: we talked about Colin like he could not say enough
Speaker 1: kind thing I was. I was like, wow, can you
Speaker 1: go tell the bosses. I mean, that would be nice.
Speaker 1: A couple more zeros on that check, just one more
Speaker 1: zero would be would be good. Anyway, A couple we're
Speaker 1: always running late. People who usually run late, guess what,
Speaker 1: guest con they tend to be happier and live longer.
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm late to the podcast quite a bit.
Speaker 1: So I'm succorting a new studies. So I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: happier and live longer. Although I'm not usually late to
Speaker 1: most things. I usually, but one problem with radio is
Speaker 1: you have to be on time. Yeah, you can't be late,
Speaker 1: you know. So I have friends, you know, sometimes you're
Speaker 1: five minutes like, I'll be there five minute. No. In radio,
Speaker 1: the show starts when the show starts, whether there or not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you blow the clock a lot. I mean, they
Speaker 1: happened last night too. So well, I was excited because
Speaker 1: the World Series the other night had ended, and so
Speaker 1: it was public ejaculation on the radio. It was pretty good.
Speaker 1: It was unbelievable because all these these cowards, these people,
Speaker 1: you know, Chris and Houston and that crack. I mean,
Speaker 1: I love Chris, but what an embarrassment, I mean, what
Speaker 1: a joke. You are talking trash and then your team
Speaker 1: vomits all over the field and you run and hide
Speaker 1: and suck your thumb in the fetal position. What's up
Speaker 1: with that? You're better than that. They disappoint me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta take your medicine, that's what you need to
Speaker 1: do exactly you know how many times guests and I've
Speaker 1: had to do these dumb shows after the Clippers lose
Speaker 1: a playoff series, or or the Rams lose the Super Bowl,
Speaker 1: the Dodgers, every goddamn here the Dodgers losing the playoffs,
Speaker 1: and I come in here and I have to answer
Speaker 1: these questions. Uh, And I do it and put on
Speaker 1: a happy face. I kill him And that's it. That's
Speaker 1: how you do it. I can write a book guest
Speaker 1: on and how to handle when your team blow is
Speaker 1: in the playoffs. To be fair, you actually get paid
Speaker 1: to do this anyway. But Chris kind of treats this
Speaker 1: like a paid gig because Chris promotes his own podcast,
Speaker 1: Chris and Hughes. Does he make money on it? I
Speaker 1: want to point out no, probably not just like this.
Speaker 1: We don't make him money. But I want to point
Speaker 1: out that, uh, in in in my little world here
Speaker 1: talking about all this stuff. We were on our our
Speaker 1: radio shows on seven ninety on the AM dial in Houston.
Speaker 1: It's a decently sized sports talk radio station, which is
Speaker 1: the flagship radio station of the Houston Astros. That means,
Speaker 1: if you are an Astro person, you listen to that
Speaker 1: radio station for your propaganda. Now, I somehow happened to
Speaker 1: be on there at night, which upsets a lot of
Speaker 1: people in Houston. But it's NonStop Houston calls when the
Speaker 1: astros are going well. And what happens when things don't
Speaker 1: go well? Uh see you later. I'm Casper. The friendly goes,
Speaker 1: which is drastically different from the NFL fans, because when
Speaker 1: NFL fans calling it the shows, it's usually because her
Speaker 1: team is in bad shape. Well at my theory, and
Speaker 1: I've had a long standing theory on this, is that
Speaker 1: it's the difference between local and national radio. And on
Speaker 1: national radio, people are show ponies. The callers they call
Speaker 1: up to celebrate, but when things go bad, they don't
Speaker 1: typically call. And it's so different on the local radio.
Speaker 1: I was fortunate enough a couple of years ago I
Speaker 1: did the Red Sox. I filled in on the Red
Speaker 1: Sox Review, the postgame talk show after Red Sox games
Speaker 1: happened to be the greatest year in Red Sox history
Speaker 1: when they went on to win the World Series. But then,
Speaker 1: but years ago, I did dodge your talk when they
Speaker 1: were terrible and all that, and I noticed when I
Speaker 1: would do those postgame talk shows. When the team lost,
Speaker 1: I had endless phone calls. People wanted to kill the manager,
Speaker 1: ripped the picture, ripped the whoever didn't get a big hit.
Speaker 1: But when they won, it was pretty dead most of
Speaker 1: the time. And but yet on the national platform, it's more,
Speaker 1: it's the opposite. The tables have been flipped. It's odd thing. Well,
Speaker 1: I think that it's been flipped. And the other thing too,
Speaker 1: is that now you have more you more beat writers
Speaker 1: and local reporters that are attacking you. Now we yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, I get a kick out of these
Speaker 1: local yocal guys, that local radio guys who are just
Speaker 1: drowning in the kool aid. The cheerleaders for their hometown teams.
Speaker 1: I get a kick out of it. I feel bad
Speaker 1: for him, you know, I feel bad. They need the
Speaker 1: access though the teams and to the players, so they
Speaker 1: need to show a good sport. And that's fine. I understand.
Speaker 1: I understand that's other their job, and they have to
Speaker 1: be the cheerleaders rah rah, hometown team and all that tribalism,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's I get it, understand. I'm not
Speaker 1: but I'm on the other side. I don't have to
Speaker 1: do any of that. I have to talk about all
Speaker 1: these dumb teams, not anymore. You were you were cow
Speaker 1: tewing for the Oh I was. I was a Dodger,
Speaker 1: I Dodger, blue kool Aid, Patriots, Celtics. I don't know
Speaker 1: what it was. It was pretty bad. It's great, it
Speaker 1: was amazing. One of the great radio personnelities happened. What
Speaker 1: happened to that show in that station? Did you get fired? Uh? No,
Speaker 1: I had to resign because the show got I was
Speaker 1: working at w e I in Boston, a station that's
Speaker 1: been very good to me over the years. But the
Speaker 1: syndicated show got picked up by ninety eight point five
Speaker 1: the Sports Up, which is a great sports radio station
Speaker 1: in Boston. These two battle it out right now, the
Speaker 1: Sports Ups number one, EI has been number one in
Speaker 1: the past. And h turns out gask On, there's a
Speaker 1: non compete situation in my contract where if I am
Speaker 1: my syndicated show is on a station, I can't be
Speaker 1: on a competing station and then market. So that is
Speaker 1: that is the reason. So it had nothing to do
Speaker 1: with the fact that you and seven other employers got
Speaker 1: blown out at the same time. Well, let's just say
Speaker 1: it was not a bad time to leave the station
Speaker 1: because the station was the walls caved in on the stage.
Speaker 1: The timing worked out well and there were some very
Speaker 1: good people. They're very talented talk shows. The w E
Speaker 1: I that got blown out and it got screwed because
Speaker 1: of approach. I don't know, you're getting me sidetrack. You
Speaker 1: know you're still standing tall in Boston's it? Blind Scott? Yeah,
Speaker 1: blind Scott. Well he didn't realize how tall he is.
Speaker 1: But he's very standing, right is real? Quick? Home Alone
Speaker 1: New Study Unit or SAO. Hundreds of experts How old
Speaker 1: should a child be before their parents leave them home alone? No,
Speaker 1: According to a survey of five hundred social workers people
Speaker 1: who work with kids, at least twelve at least So
Speaker 1: there you at least twelve. Here's also a new study
Speaker 1: says that what percentage of parents steal candy from their kids? Oh,
Speaker 1: I would say closer to I would agree with you.
Speaker 1: They say that numbers seventy parents will steal candy. That's good,
Speaker 1: that's still really good. If you had to steal candy
Speaker 1: from a kid, what would it be. Well, my big
Speaker 1: candies are the Butterfinger, the Baby Ruth, the Snickers, bar,
Speaker 1: the Reese's pieces cup those those are my big trinity. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the problem is you. You don't know you too in
Speaker 1: a little package, you know, and we need more. I
Speaker 1: need more, but maybe not now. I'm still thinking to
Speaker 1: myself like a big fat eater, you know, back in
Speaker 1: the day, and I don't eat that much. I I
Speaker 1: in my head, I eat a lot, but just Friday
Speaker 1: nights and then to go to the store for bread,
Speaker 1: it smashed like demolition derby leaving the parking lot. Anyway,
Speaker 1: it's in the bag. These are listener questions, actual listener
Speaker 1: question We guest, got that message I sent you? Get there?
Speaker 1: I did. It's pretty good, right, all right, it's in
Speaker 1: the bag listener messages and these are actual listeners. And
Speaker 1: I asked people to say their names, so most of
Speaker 1: them did. Thank you for that. On our Facebook page,
Speaker 1: Dan from Kalamazoo, I love Calamazoo. What fun Kalamazoo, Rancho
Speaker 1: Cucamonga Beaver, damn all fun places punk Sitani Anyway, Dan
Speaker 1: from Kalamazoo, Michigan says, I want the Marcel in Brooklyn
Speaker 1: origin story I missed when he first started calling the show.
Speaker 1: The dude is a star. Yes, why alright, so here,
Speaker 1: I'll keep this short and sweet. So Dan, So Marcel
Speaker 1: started calling the show and was horrible. Um was, but
Speaker 1: he was so unique like his delivery. It seemed like
Speaker 1: he was doing a bit like I thought. At first,
Speaker 1: like most of these regular callers, I thought, well, this
Speaker 1: is somebody punking me. This is a prank call, this
Speaker 1: is not a real human being. And so what I did,
Speaker 1: this is one of the things I do which I
Speaker 1: probably shouldn't do. But I figure out, how can we
Speaker 1: use this person, how can we create some magic? And
Speaker 1: and so I've I've worked. Marcella doesn't realize I'm doing this,
Speaker 1: but I worked with Marcella trying to find a niche.
Speaker 1: And one of the funniest things I've had the last
Speaker 1: couple of years in my my radio career, while I
Speaker 1: was doing a show actually was from w e I
Speaker 1: in Boston, and Marcelle started calling that show and he
Speaker 1: calls up and he when he first started calling up,
Speaker 1: he had nothing to say. I I mean literally nothing.
Speaker 1: Is he just want to be on the radio. I
Speaker 1: know a lot of people do that still for some reason,
Speaker 1: I don't, you know, whatever I did when I was
Speaker 1: a kid, marcell is not a kid, but he still does.
Speaker 1: So so Dan, Marcel calls up run night and uh,
Speaker 1: I was he had nothing to say. So I was
Speaker 1: just starting. I was trying to get some conversation, going
Speaker 1: to kill a few minutes or whatever. And I want
Speaker 1: to completely be a dick to the guy, and so
Speaker 1: I said, hey, what you have for dinner? So then
Speaker 1: he says, I had Chef boy r D. And so
Speaker 1: then I came back and I said, oh, you know what,
Speaker 1: the finest Italian restaurants in Italy they serve Chef Boyard.
Speaker 1: That's authentic Italian food. And Marcel handed god, gas gun,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's great. He he he took it,
Speaker 1: hook line and sinker like it was true. And that's
Speaker 1: how food Picks started with Marcel. We were so amazed
Speaker 1: that that he thought that Chef boyar D was authentic
Speaker 1: Italian food. Why do you funk with him like that?
Speaker 1: It's fun. He likes it. He likes being part of
Speaker 1: the show. He calls like in the morning jab in
Speaker 1: in Portland, Maine, he calls them. He calls TV stations,
Speaker 1: radio shows all over the South. He's got a whole network.
Speaker 1: He's got the Marcel Broadcasting network. Out of Brooklyn. But
Speaker 1: you know that there's people out there that actually believe
Speaker 1: everything that you say, like it's the gospel. Well, unfortunately
Speaker 1: that is true. And I you got if you don't
Speaker 1: get sarcasm, boys this show, you're gonna think I'm a
Speaker 1: complete asshole and schmuck. And uh yeah, we do doubt.
Speaker 1: I use you used to have a boss, gas Gun.
Speaker 1: You know who that person is who did not get sarcasm,
Speaker 1: and that made it very difficult for me for about
Speaker 1: the first fifteen years of my run at Fox Sports Radio. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that the person is not in the mix anymore. Carlos
Speaker 1: from Houston, how about we still have a listener in Houston. Carlos,
Speaker 1: good job, But you must not be an Astros fan,
Speaker 1: he says, what's the A lot of origin stories today,
Speaker 1: gask And what's the story behind Andrea the Astrologer? And
Speaker 1: cowboy John Bred? All Right, so real quick on these two.
Speaker 1: Did she go to UC Berkeley? I don't know that
Speaker 1: she did. She's from New York. She grew up a
Speaker 1: Mets fan and a you know, like the New York teams.
Speaker 1: She's lived in Berkeley for a long time, so I
Speaker 1: don't know if she went to Berkeley or not, but
Speaker 1: probably she's a hippie and she just randomly called up
Speaker 1: one night and started like doing her stick alas. She's like,
Speaker 1: she's about the radio and TV in San Francisco, Carlos,
Speaker 1: so she's on media there. She calls in a lot
Speaker 1: and whatnot, and so I didn't really know much about her,
Speaker 1: but she seemed fun. It was a little different. And
Speaker 1: really the reason I've continued with that, I don't know
Speaker 1: that I believe a lot of what she says. I'm
Speaker 1: a skeptic by nature, but uh, it reminds me of
Speaker 1: some of the crap that Art Bell used to do.
Speaker 1: And I loved Coast to Love. I don't listen to
Speaker 1: it now because I'm competing with it, but I used
Speaker 1: to love Art Bell, the overnight guy, and he would
Speaker 1: do stuff like that where he'd put people on and
Speaker 1: uh and so who were into star charts and all that.
Speaker 1: So I thought, you know, it's a little little taste
Speaker 1: of that reminds me of that a little bit, So
Speaker 1: we'll go with it. And as far as Cowboy, John
Speaker 1: Brad Cowboys the longest tenured caller I've had. He has
Speaker 1: been a professional radio caller as long as I know,
Speaker 1: probably my entire life. And he's like rain Man. And
Speaker 1: I don't know when that start with the Cowboys Corner thing,
Speaker 1: uh actually predates me, but that we we dressed it
Speaker 1: up a little bit. And because Cowboy just would he
Speaker 1: doesn't have a computer. All that's off his memory, which
Speaker 1: makes it even more amazing, Like he doesn't have a computer.
Speaker 1: Sometimes will go to the library to use a computer.
Speaker 1: He does not own a computer, and so all of
Speaker 1: that is from he's got a roll index mind. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 1: I don't know if he wants to have that title though,
Speaker 1: as your longest tenured color, Like, do you think that's safe? Well,
Speaker 1: eventually we all need our demise. But but but yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, Cowboy's great, He's harmless. He's gotten upset with
Speaker 1: me and a few times you politically, I'll say something,
Speaker 1: you know, get upset with what. I don't do a
Speaker 1: lot of politics, but he'll get upset. And but he's
Speaker 1: been been very loyal. He sends jokes in my favorite
Speaker 1: thing about Cowboy, which I don't think. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I've said it much. Uh, and people might think
Speaker 1: I'm kidding, uh Carlos, But cowboy John Brad. He will
Speaker 1: go to the library and wins her Ontario and send
Speaker 1: me emails like a couple of times a week, and
Speaker 1: he thinks he's so par annoyed. For say, he thinks
Speaker 1: his email gets hacked. So he has literally sent me
Speaker 1: email from like and I'm not exaggerating, probably a couple
Speaker 1: of hundred email addresses he starts either new Google or
Speaker 1: Yahoo email addresses, and they're all like cowboy John Brad
Speaker 1: five five five seven, seven to two and whatever. And
Speaker 1: so my theory is that he forgets the name, either
Speaker 1: the name or the password, and so that's why he
Speaker 1: always has to change his email. Yeah, no, no, Ale
Speaker 1: l no hot mail. Uh, I don't think a O
Speaker 1: L or or hot mail. It's been mostly it's been Google,
Speaker 1: Gmail and and Yahoo. It's in the bag. Next up,
Speaker 1: Big Lou from the LBC fan of the People's Team.
Speaker 1: He says, have you ever been involved in a bar
Speaker 1: street club fight with multiple people? Now? Did you started
Speaker 1: and this is for both of us, did you start
Speaker 1: it or number one? Or did one of your friends? Uh?
Speaker 1: There you go? Where did it happen? Yes? And he
Speaker 1: fights in your life there too? Yeah, so the first
Speaker 1: one the first one. Actually, actually both of them took
Speaker 1: place in San Diego, but the first one started not
Speaker 1: because of me, but because of my friend's sister. So
Speaker 1: Dan and San Diego. Usually during the summertime, they have
Speaker 1: an event in Pacific Beach called the Peb Block Party.
Speaker 1: And the Pacific Beach is beautiful. Yeah, the Peb Block
Speaker 1: Party is what it is on Garnett Avenue. They'll block
Speaker 1: off a major portion of that street to have all
Speaker 1: kinds of beer vendors and food vendors and street you know,
Speaker 1: the shops that come on the street, and so they'll
Speaker 1: do it throughout the day and it's just a big
Speaker 1: festival that's on the middle of the street, usually right
Speaker 1: around the fourth of July. Well, we were there during
Speaker 1: the daytime and when things closed off, we went down
Speaker 1: the street to a friend's house, or so I thought,
Speaker 1: and I had a group of about ten or twelve
Speaker 1: guys that I was with, but we somehow got scattered.
Speaker 1: I went with one of my good friends to meet
Speaker 1: up with his sister at this giant house party on
Speaker 1: a block and there's a bunch of people there and
Speaker 1: there was a couple of guys that stood out that
Speaker 1: were short they were talking smack uh. They were making
Speaker 1: all kinds of of ruckists inside this house that went outside.
Speaker 1: And my buddy's sister, she's got a mouth on her
Speaker 1: and it gets elevated when there's alcohol involved. So, needless
Speaker 1: to say, she took exception to this because these guys
Speaker 1: were being rude to her friend's house. And she called
Speaker 1: this guy to his face, point blank, a little ship.
Speaker 1: So there's a lot of things that you can call
Speaker 1: a guy, but if a guy is short and a
Speaker 1: woman's standing over him, that guy's not gonna like him
Speaker 1: too much. And so the especially depends on the guy's lubricated. Also,
Speaker 1: he was lubricated. Yeah, So I got right next to her,
Speaker 1: and the first thing I hear him say in responses
Speaker 1: fuck you little cunt. Oh no, you can't the word
Speaker 1: you can't say, man, that's the deadly word. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: then she throws a beer in his face and he
Speaker 1: throws a right hand, and as soon as he threw
Speaker 1: the hand, I threw one at him and I landed
Speaker 1: on top of him, and I got pummeled by like
Speaker 1: six other guys. My buddy who was there nowhere to
Speaker 1: be found. I got Yeah, well he didn't get taken
Speaker 1: off like guys were Holdinghi my I guests. Apparently I
Speaker 1: don't know. I was getting my ass kicked. So I
Speaker 1: got a hammerd as I'm trying to hit this one guy,
Speaker 1: I'm getting choked out by another one, and a bunch
Speaker 1: of other guys were just wailing on me. It sounds
Speaker 1: like a fight. Yeah. The silver the silver lining to
Speaker 1: this was after it was over with the same guy
Speaker 1: that I got in the fight with tried messing with
Speaker 1: a female cop. This cop was probably half of his
Speaker 1: size and she ducked a punch from him and dropped
Speaker 1: to with an elbow so hard. Bet It turned out
Speaker 1: these guys were all in Bud's training for Navy seals.
Speaker 1: So when these guys all got detained twenty minutes later,
Speaker 1: they're a superior officer came down to PB and taught
Speaker 1: to the officers. They all got uncuffed and went down
Speaker 1: to the base down near or up near Captain Peleton,
Speaker 1: and they made them run. They're still running. Probably that
Speaker 1: is punish me. So I have a little scar over
Speaker 1: my right eye. Uh eyebrows obviously cover it now, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I will never forget that because I stepped in line
Speaker 1: for a for female getting hit and uh, I met
Speaker 1: my I met a demise. I always these women starting
Speaker 1: fights and then the guy has to come and then
Speaker 1: what's up with that? Her brother didn't even do anything.
Speaker 1: That was the worst part. I was with him. Well,
Speaker 1: I I don't have time to get in all that.
Speaker 1: I have not really been in a real fight since
Speaker 1: I was in high school. I got in some dust
Speaker 1: ups at junior high school and high school back in
Speaker 1: the days when you can get away with that, and
Speaker 1: I get suspended and thrown out of school. Nowadays you
Speaker 1: can't do that. But I'm always paranoid. I'm such a
Speaker 1: big guy. I am paranoid that I'll get into a
Speaker 1: fight and I'll be the guy that punches someone. They
Speaker 1: fall down, their head hits the ground, that rekill it
Speaker 1: and they're dead. And I don't as much as people
Speaker 1: upset me and I'd like, in my mind I punched them,
Speaker 1: but I I'm so much bigger than most people size wise.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm just paranoid. I don't want to I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't really want to kill anyone. I've killed all
Speaker 1: the people I want to kill, which is zero, So
Speaker 1: I'd rather not go down that I would never start
Speaker 1: a fight. I mean I did that, you know, elementary school,
Speaker 1: in school you're growing up, yeah, yeah, but never in
Speaker 1: his adult Like you said, you hit some of the
Speaker 1: wrong way or ship they hit you the wrong way
Speaker 1: and it lights out. Game over, man over man bringing
Speaker 1: the body. But and for what I know, you know,
Speaker 1: all right, Well, we don't have too much time for
Speaker 1: because we gotta move on to it. Not for a
Speaker 1: lot of questions. Unfortunately, we're not gonna get to most
Speaker 1: of them. Zach from Sacramento says, I have to ask,
Speaker 1: would you do a podcast for one day with your
Speaker 1: old co host Jason Smith? Just one episode? Well, it
Speaker 1: depends on Ascon, whether Gascon leaves the show or not.
Speaker 1: But I love Jason. I see Jason every night. And Zach,
Speaker 1: you must be an old school listener. But in the
Speaker 1: early days of Fox Sports Radio, a weekend program, it
Speaker 1: was me and Jason Smith side by side. I've known
Speaker 1: Jason for before Fox Sports Radio. We looked worked in
Speaker 1: local radio together, so I would not be opposed to that. Uh.
Speaker 1: And and what uh, Jim from Orange Mass You ever
Speaker 1: been Orange Mass? No? Never, it's right near Lemon, Mass No. Uh.
Speaker 1: What was the most embarrassing costume you ever wore stick
Speaker 1: to Halloween costume? I don't remember, Jim. I I dressed
Speaker 1: up as like a clown old people police officer, you know,
Speaker 1: the standard fair as a kid. I never dressed up
Speaker 1: as a tampon like Cooper Loop. My brother dressed up
Speaker 1: as gumby my older brother one year. I remember that
Speaker 1: it had green makeup on all over the place. I
Speaker 1: didn't really do any of that. Any embarrassing costumes gascon No.
Speaker 1: I think my favorite costume was me and a couple
Speaker 1: of buddies were in Vegas, uh for our twenty for
Speaker 1: his birthday, and we dressed up a Scotsman and uh
Speaker 1: yeah it was. It was pretty wild. So we had
Speaker 1: kilts on the whole nine yards. Um well, I this
Speaker 1: was not for Halloween, but I was at the and
Speaker 1: I did a local radio show for the twentieth anniversary
Speaker 1: release party of Animal House in Westwood, right near U. C.
Speaker 1: L A. Westwood Boulevard, and they made us wear togas.
Speaker 1: The program director thought, well, it's Animal House. Where a toga?
Speaker 1: Do you have a picture that? Um, let me tell
Speaker 1: you something. Yes. One of my most humiliating nights, you know,
Speaker 1: I met my fattest at this period in my life.
Speaker 1: And I show up to a radio remote broadcast. I
Speaker 1: then have to go into the bathroom and I have
Speaker 1: to put on a toga. I take my clothes off
Speaker 1: to put on a toga. Yeah. And then and it
Speaker 1: was the Bed and Dave Show with David Smith and
Speaker 1: he had the same thing. And so then we we
Speaker 1: Our boss is like, well, why don't you try to
Speaker 1: promote this? Why don't you go outside on the street.
Speaker 1: And so people driving a very busy street in lay Westwood,
Speaker 1: both I can see you, and uh so we had
Speaker 1: to stand out there and uh man, anyone was like
Speaker 1: all these people that were in the movie, the ones
Speaker 1: that didn't die at that time, were there and and
Speaker 1: they were looking as us like a bunch of morons,
Speaker 1: these guys are. They were giving us like that kind
Speaker 1: of look, you know, that kind of thing. So it
Speaker 1: was it was pretty good. That's great. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: why don't we move on? For time reasons here gascon
Speaker 1: don't stick the sports stories of the week. How about this.
Speaker 1: A bartender in Missouri she got a massive tip when
Speaker 1: a customer left her not just money, ben she left
Speaker 1: her a winning lottery ticket. And it was worth fifty dollars. Now,
Speaker 1: the one kicker on this is that it's a normal
Speaker 1: thing for the customer, because what happens is is when
Speaker 1: there's big lottery pots, the customer will typically buy people
Speaker 1: inside the restaurant and their employees lottery tickets and just splurged,
Speaker 1: like Jonas Knox does that at Fox Sports Radio during
Speaker 1: Christmas time instead of buying us gifts, So just buy
Speaker 1: a scratchers. So this guy had done this on the
Speaker 1: regular and it came toward the next day that the
Speaker 1: customer or a ticket was purchased a winning lottery ticket
Speaker 1: from the local establishment, and so the staff found out
Speaker 1: that there was a winning lottery ticket that was purchased.
Speaker 1: Nobody knew who it was. The next day there someone
Speaker 1: scanner ticket and boom, fifty dollars. Boy, I would not
Speaker 1: that would be tough if I gave fifty dollars and
Speaker 1: you didn't know it. But that's a tough one. Would
Speaker 1: you ask Would you ask for some Uh? No, I
Speaker 1: mean I don't think you're entitled to it. Right. Once
Speaker 1: you give the gift, you can't then ask for the
Speaker 1: gift back. Now, if they want to give you some money,
Speaker 1: the person that won. I think that's fair, but you
Speaker 1: can't be the one today. You're a dick if you
Speaker 1: do that, right now, that's true, that's true. How about
Speaker 1: this one? Uh? T s A. Have you had any
Speaker 1: trouble with T. S A other than grabbing my nuts? Uh?
Speaker 1: You know no, I mean it's the paint of the aspid.
Speaker 1: I guess that's a good point, but you know, obviously humiliating,
Speaker 1: and you know they you know, they're just rocking you
Speaker 1: when they look at your naked body and all that.
Speaker 1: A lot of these guys. But yeah, I don't enjoy it.
Speaker 1: But I've not had anything really horrific that has happened.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, I bring that up because he Throw
Speaker 1: airport is one of the busiest airports in the world,
Speaker 1: and that's there's no argument there. Um. The airport itself
Speaker 1: had actually apologized to a local television reporter because she
Speaker 1: was asked by staff to publicly strip and go through
Speaker 1: the portals that were made there. Staff made her stripped
Speaker 1: down and ben she was left going through the expressway
Speaker 1: with a black vest on, no bra, and just her panties. Yeah. Now,
Speaker 1: I want to point out when I first heard this story,
Speaker 1: guess and I thought, boy, she must be beautiful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, this must be a ten attend. These guys,
Speaker 1: these horn dog guys must have been like, I want
Speaker 1: to see this woman close off. I saw a photover
Speaker 1: a guest. She's a you know, nice woman. I'm sure.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but she's about as far away from that.
Speaker 1: You know, maybe back in her glory days she was.
Speaker 1: But where are they now? Yeah? Not not anymore. Like
Speaker 1: she's not a she's not a five in des Moines, Iowa. No,
Speaker 1: I mean maybe like mine is two in des Moines. Okay,
Speaker 1: come on, she's somebody's mom. I mean that's she could
Speaker 1: be somebody's mom. Just say, I'm being honest. You want
Speaker 1: me to lie. Well, she's not gonna hear this podcast? Well,
Speaker 1: you never know, I mean we're heard around the world. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sure she's I'm sure we got a big listenership
Speaker 1: in London. We got Terry Bridge Cambridge University. Have we
Speaker 1: got Terry that's out there? Terry in England? Yeah, the
Speaker 1: leader of the UK Mala Militia. I'm glad we brought
Speaker 1: up Terry too, because there's another story that we'll get
Speaker 1: to here in a second. But how about this police
Speaker 1: took the time to blow up an innocent man's house.
Speaker 1: Now it wasn't for no reason. Then they were actually
Speaker 1: looking for a armed shoplifter. That's right, an armed shoplifter. Um,
Speaker 1: he's a very dangerous thing when you shoplift with a weapon. Well,
Speaker 1: of course, but he robbed a local wall mart and
Speaker 1: then proceeded to barricade himself in. Where did this happen.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get it to that. I'm gonna get to that.
Speaker 1: He barricaded himself in this house and in particular a
Speaker 1: bathroom for nineteen hours before squat squad before swat fired.
Speaker 1: That's a new squad is squat They squat down they
Speaker 1: that's what they so, swat fired gas into the house,
Speaker 1: drove an armored truck through the doors, and then toss
Speaker 1: flash bangs before blowing out some of the walls in
Speaker 1: this house. Now the city is Greenwood Village in Colorado.
Speaker 1: He trade wait wait wait wait wait wait Greenwood Village. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know why Greenwood Village is famous. Guess you have
Speaker 1: food there? Yeah, I have a food dish named after
Speaker 1: me in that in that city. How great is that?
Speaker 1: The chicken tenders? Uh? Well, kind of it is. Uh,
Speaker 1: the the chicken there's like chicken sandwich with my my
Speaker 1: name in it. Yeah, how about that? Man? I want
Speaker 1: to make it all about you. Well, no, it's next
Speaker 1: time you're in Colorado, you world traveler. Uh, you can
Speaker 1: in in Greenwood Village. It's the sports Book Bar and
Speaker 1: there's actually two locations in the Denver area. But they
Speaker 1: have the Mallard chicken tender sandwich on the menu. Why
Speaker 1: would I'm not gonna to enjoy the Mallard chicken tender sandwich.
Speaker 1: Don't we have a listener out there? What's the named Christina? Uh? Well,
Speaker 1: we had we had well, we had nerd. Christina's right.
Speaker 1: We also have Queen Roxanne, who's the one the Queen's
Speaker 1: and a high ranking in the female continuent of the
Speaker 1: Mallar Militia. She's not very high up. She well, but
Speaker 1: she flew out the California Tammy didn't fly out the guy.
Speaker 1: She flew out to California to hang out with us
Speaker 1: at the minor league appearance we did a couple of years,
Speaker 1: and not the one with you, but the one that
Speaker 1: had a nice ballpark. How do you know Tammy hasn't
Speaker 1: flown out here. Well, I mean said and said, well,
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, I mean, she's wow. What anyway, So
Speaker 1: this guy tried, This guy tried suing the city. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it seems like he had a good case. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: city turned it down, but they offered him five thousand
Speaker 1: dollars for a temporary rental assistance for his insurance deductible
Speaker 1: five thousand dollars for a house that was demolished by
Speaker 1: local swat. Wow, that's that's wonderful. I guess police can
Speaker 1: do whatever they want, and they you're screwed pretty much, right.
Speaker 1: They can destroy your house with no real legit reason
Speaker 1: and you But then we see other stories where people
Speaker 1: get paid millions of dollars in settlements, So it does
Speaker 1: cut both ways. It's a double edge situation. Speaking of that,
Speaker 1: how about this for a call to help? A phone
Speaker 1: sex line number was accidentally printed on a suicide hotline
Speaker 1: on a middle school student I D card in Lancaster.
Speaker 1: It's a middle school up there. I think it's talk
Speaker 1: about the fourteen California. There's a bunch of Lancasters. But
Speaker 1: in California. Yeah, so school I D cards with a
Speaker 1: phone X line on there as opposed to a suicide
Speaker 1: hot line number. It's one of those adult chat lines.
Speaker 1: So if you called them back in the daily, it's
Speaker 1: like three or four nine. I used to call those
Speaker 1: back in the year. In trouble right, they blocked those
Speaker 1: numbers on your phone. Well, you could push pounds six
Speaker 1: seven and then down the number. If you really wanted to,
Speaker 1: you can call you back. I could do. That's a
Speaker 1: good point. That's the old pay phone trick. Back in
Speaker 1: the year, there's like five some five five five numbers
Speaker 1: you could call. I remember when I was a kid
Speaker 1: in junior high there was a number somebody at school
Speaker 1: figured out and if you called the pay phone the
Speaker 1: phone it was like a way to test pay phones
Speaker 1: back in those days, and so they would the phone
Speaker 1: would start ringing back so the person, the phone person,
Speaker 1: the operator could figure out where the phone was working at.
Speaker 1: I used to do that on dates back in the day.
Speaker 1: Oh really, Yeah, when the when the dates weren't going well,
Speaker 1: I would purposely call those numbers to have them call
Speaker 1: me back. Or I would call movie theaters and I'd
Speaker 1: call for showtimes because in the show times are obviously
Speaker 1: telling you, they'll tell you the times, but just you
Speaker 1: put the phone up lout enough and you can hear
Speaker 1: somebody talking. So if you're right next to me and
Speaker 1: you're listening to the conversation, you can't. You can't hear
Speaker 1: the words that are bled out. They never stopped talking though,
Speaker 1: that's the problem. Yeah, but by the way you did that,
Speaker 1: I was always women that did that to me. It
Speaker 1: was never I never did that. I did it such
Speaker 1: a studt different different times in our life. And uh so, alright,
Speaker 1: so anyway, this back to the middle school high desert
Speaker 1: part of California, and they had a a sex line
Speaker 1: instead of the suicide hot line. All right, So there's
Speaker 1: a couple of ways you can look. It's obviously some mistake.
Speaker 1: Somebody just changed some digits and all that. You don't
Speaker 1: in the early days of Fox Sports Radio are calling
Speaker 1: number if you dialed the wrong digit at the end.
Speaker 1: I think it was the last two digits if you
Speaker 1: like flipped them. It was a sex line. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: happened with the Fox, but I think that's with a
Speaker 1: lot of numbers. But but anyway, uh, you know, depending
Speaker 1: on what your your depression is, uh, sex line could
Speaker 1: actually help, right, I mean, it's not like many defends
Speaker 1: no no, no, no, I couldn't help at all. It's
Speaker 1: for middle school. Those middle school kids are in all
Speaker 1: kinds of crazy stuff these days, aren't they. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm staying away from that. Last one UK politician, This
Speaker 1: one's for Terry Keith Vaz. He's in some trouble right now.
Speaker 1: Parliament can actually ban him after he was caught trying
Speaker 1: to buy drugs for prostitutes. Now Ben the kicker and
Speaker 1: all this, he will be banned for six months after
Speaker 1: he tried buying cocaine for some male prostitutes. The top
Speaker 1: on all this is VADs is actually married and he
Speaker 1: was the head of a committee that was committed to
Speaker 1: probing current drug policies in the UK. So are you's
Speaker 1: saying he's gay? Is that what you're saying? Guest? Is
Speaker 1: that what your the irony? And all this is he's
Speaker 1: caught trying to buy cocaine when he's in charge of
Speaker 1: a committee that's looking to curb drug use in the UK. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But isn't this like that's on the same spectrum as
Speaker 1: like the the guy that was running the clinic to
Speaker 1: change gay people straight, you know, the therapy thing, and
Speaker 1: then he turned out he was gay the whole time.
Speaker 1: What about the local reporter for kt l A here
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles? Which one is that one? Which one?
Speaker 1: There was a local reporter here in Los Angeles that
Speaker 1: was married, okay and kids, Yes, and he died during
Speaker 1: a sexual rendezvous with a male prostitute when he injected
Speaker 1: him with some crystal meth. Yeah. Well there was another.
Speaker 1: There was a female that was married to a pretty
Speaker 1: powerful radio personality. You know, it was on television, and
Speaker 1: I guess this is not that odd, but she just
Speaker 1: decided in the middle of the marriage that she was
Speaker 1: a lesbian. And how about that? There's a fun fact?
Speaker 1: Who was it? Uh? Yeah, kids, well kids, it's it's
Speaker 1: a podcast. No one's gonna be paying attention to it.
Speaker 1: You're gonna pay my legal bills, all of them. Like
Speaker 1: A I could claim bankruptcy, Well I don't know. If
Speaker 1: they claim it, you are bankrupt. I don't need to
Speaker 1: claim it. It's it's true. So that means I'm okay.
Speaker 1: If I back into your car, apparently you don't need insurance.
Speaker 1: You can just back in my car. Welcome to California people, anyways, Ben,
Speaker 1: that's it all right there, it is. Have a great
Speaker 1: weekend and enjoy the hell out of it. Whatever you
Speaker 1: end up doing this weekend, don't forget the other podcast,
Speaker 1: which will be Benny Versus the Penny. I guess we'll
Speaker 1: have to do a quick version of Benny Versus the Penny.
Speaker 1: But we'll be back on the radio after that Sunday
Speaker 1: night Patriots Ravens Game Sunday night into Monday morning on
Speaker 1: the Overnight. But thank you for supporting the show. Keep
Speaker 1: sending those emails the message on social media. We'll catch
Speaker 1: you next time. All right, I got I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: on the other studio, So hold one second, can't wait?
Speaker 1: Shut up? Yeahvin, By the way, you're your next up
Speaker 1: when guest gon quits the podcast. So I hope you're prepared.
Speaker 1: He's already threatening to quit. I hope you're prepared. Don't
Speaker 1: worry about it. Oh yeah, all right, we'll do it, man,
Speaker 1: we'll dominate. Yeah. Test one, two, three, four, five, six.
Speaker 1: See you get him a new voice so it sounds better.
Speaker 1: I have a great voice. The funk you're talking about
Speaker 1: it sounds like it. Well, all right, let's get the
Speaker 1: real talent. Mike checked. That's right, man. You know I'm
Speaker 1: very loud yea, and I like to talk very loud.
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. There you go,
Speaker 1: all right, you're good. All right, So guests, Scott, I
Speaker 1: got Uncle Mo, benders, zombies, goats, spiders, and lazy horses. Uh,
Speaker 1: study this. What else they got? It's in the bag.
Speaker 1: And don't stick to sports anything else that is uh,
Speaker 1: that is it? Okay? What are those stories? We don't
Speaker 1: stick to sports. Not that really matters. But um, hold on,
Speaker 1: suck out? Is someone editing something I heard some playback
Speaker 1: or something? Um bum bum bum see here. Uh all right,
Speaker 1: I guess we'll you know, we'll do it. Let's get
Speaker 1: started here, Let's see what happens. Ready, have some tacos?
Speaker 1: Have one for me, man, I'm not eating much of
Speaker 1: these days. And Gavin, can you hit that open and
Speaker 1: then pot yourself? Though come boom boom four hours a
Speaker 1: day minutes wasn't enough, think again, he's the last remnants
Speaker 1: of the old Republic. That was way too loud. Is
Speaker 1: that we're done, beautiful, that's a good podcast. We'll put
Speaker 1: that fucking thing up. I'm out of here. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go fucking have a taco myself. Fuck y'all, see you later.
Speaker 1: Bastion of fairness, he treats crackheads. Not that I don't
Speaker 1: like the middle part, because I think the middle parts
Speaker 1: great distracted booms, All right, jokes done, Come on, boom.
Speaker 1: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
Speaker 1: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
Speaker 1: of the Old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
Speaker 1: treats crackheads in the Ghetto Cutter the same as the
Speaker 1: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. To clearinghouse of hot takes,
Speaker 1: break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Maller starts right now. That it does, and we welcome
Speaker 1: me into the Magical Podcast. If you thought jokes, think again.
Speaker 1: He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a sole
Speaker 1: bastion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the Ghetto Cutter
Speaker 1: the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1: What the hell happened? Hello? I was exhilarating and frightening. Boom.
Speaker 1: Have you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
Speaker 1: a week was enough, Think again. He's the last remnants
Speaker 1: of the Old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
Speaker 1: treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
Speaker 1: rich pill poppers in the penthouse to clearing house of
Speaker 1: hot takes. Break Free for Something Special Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Maller starts right now that it does and welcome into
Speaker 1: the amazing podcast world. Boom, what is going on here? Well?
Speaker 1: Walker is going on here? How hard is that? Unfucking believable?
Speaker 1: No tacos for you, No fucking goddamn tacos. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it just closed the window. I mean, how
Speaker 1: many times you gonna play the goddamn think. I'm not
Speaker 1: planning again. I'm just gonna edit it. Okay, I'll edit it.
Speaker 1: Don't worry about it, all right. The only us to
Speaker 1: sue one