WEBVTT - D.W.I 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:05.400 Boom. If you thought four hours a day dred minutes 0:00:05.400 --> 0:00:08.600 a week was enough, I think again. He's the last 0:00:08.720 --> 0:00:12.320 remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:15.400 He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as 0:00:15.440 --> 0:00:19.480 the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:23.200 of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth 0:00:23.239 --> 0:00:30.680 Hour with Ben Maller starts right now, and so it 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:36.640 begins another terrifying, adrenaline charged edition of The Fifth Hour 0:00:36.800 --> 0:00:42.559 with Ben Maller and yes, God, David ges Gon. But 0:00:43.240 --> 0:00:45.360 think of it like the circus, you know, back in 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:47.199 the day when the circus was a big thing. You know, 0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:49.520 you won't believe your ears, not eyes, because we can't 0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:51.680 see anything. It's it's audio. It's all we have here. 0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:54.360 But we are built to a maze. So what do 0:00:54.440 --> 0:00:57.000 they say, come one, come all fun for all ages. 0:00:57.000 --> 0:00:58.880 Actually it's not really fun for all ages because we 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:00.680 have you know, we have adult content. We're allowed to 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:03.800 the curse on the podcast, but we begin to do 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:07.679 in The Fifth Hour is on the as you obviously 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:09.720 found the show, but it's available anywhere you can get 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:13.160 great podcasts. And I heart obviously part of that it's 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:17.520 part of the I Heart Podcast network and it's available 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:20.800 all over the place of the global reach of podcasting 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:23.959 and people checking in and listening all over the place. 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:26.440 So here's the menu. Not to dilly dolly, because we 0:01:26.600 --> 0:01:29.560 dilly dally at the beginning here, guess hunt and people 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:31.920 get very upset a lot of downtime. I want to 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:35.559 hear downtime. So we have the menu. At the bistro, 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:37.640 Benny's Bistro, who were serving up. We got Uncle Mo, 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:45.760 the Bender, zombies, goats, spiders, and lazy horses. Study this 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:47.840 which I love because that's just the way I can 0:01:48.040 --> 0:01:51.320 justify me reading these stupid studies and will debate whether 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:53.560 those are legit or not. It's in the bag. Those 0:01:53.560 --> 0:01:56.400 are actual questions by actual listeners. That's real content. Pete 0:01:56.440 --> 0:01:59.120 and Pittsburgh who said that's not real content. That's real, 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:03.200 legitimate content that leads to amazing conversation. And don't stick 0:02:03.240 --> 0:02:06.000 the sports stories of the week and anything else that 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:10.359 comes up between now and then. Well, full disclaimer too 0:02:10.400 --> 0:02:13.760 for our audience. You sound like you're alert and awake. 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:18.799 Why well, I mean there's reasons for that. I don't sleep. 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:23.120 I believe I am some kind of zombie or something 0:02:23.200 --> 0:02:26.920 like that. And my, uh, there's a gardener at the 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:30.679 Mallard mansion who has decided that, you know, since he 0:02:30.720 --> 0:02:34.000 has a regular schedule, he doesn't care that I work overnights. 0:02:34.160 --> 0:02:37.240 And he shows up and he woke me up. I 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:40.320 think I got two and a half hours of sleep. 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:43.120 And I'm not kidding. I believe I got two and 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:45.640 a half hours of sleep. Uh so I might need 0:02:45.680 --> 0:02:48.959 to get some cocaine or something like that, but I'm kidding, 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:53.320 but you're not. Yeah. No, So it's and so I 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:55.840 called you up because you always a bitch and complain 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:58.160 you wine, you have a hissy fit every week. Oh 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:03.280 you're very bit uh uh So I say, okay, uh touche, 0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:06.240 I am up. I will do this. Let's let's knock 0:03:06.280 --> 0:03:10.040 it out. Called you up and uh, you were not 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:12.480 even where you were supposed to be. You were not 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:15.520 there now, and then so I'd of wait, and then 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:17.520 you got there a little bit before you were supposed 0:03:17.520 --> 0:03:20.040 to be there, and then I'd wait, Yeah, because somebody 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:23.079 else was recording a podcast in this. I mean, we've 0:03:23.639 --> 0:03:25.840 you know how big I Heart is the Premier Networks. 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:28.880 We have one podcast studio. It's massive. It is a 0:03:28.919 --> 0:03:32.920 massive company, and we have one studio. That's amazing to me. 0:03:33.000 --> 0:03:35.880 There's and there's so many people doing these podcasts. Obviously, 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:38.920 for I Heeart in the in our facility is one 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:42.520 place we can record the podcast. Not that we're complaining, 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:45.760 because that would be wrong, and that we no no, 0:03:46.120 --> 0:03:49.400 no new, new, new, new new, all right, But anyway, 0:03:49.480 --> 0:03:51.720 let's get to Uncle Mo. So I have been peppered 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:55.320 since the World Series ended this week in the Nationals, 0:03:55.360 --> 0:04:00.000 my Washington Nationals, my adopted team Natitude beating the Houston Astros. 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:02.960 I've been peppered with email with smarty pants saying the 0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:07.480 Washington Nationals they won ben because of momentum. Now, over 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:09.480 the years, if you've been with me on the radio, 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:12.200 I have done many a rant, usually one or two 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:17.279 a year, about my longstanding position that there is no 0:04:17.480 --> 0:04:21.120 such thing as momentum. Uh. And I haven't done one 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:24.360 of these recently, but some of the old school listeners remember, 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:27.080 and they wanted to bust my balls, and so they 0:04:27.600 --> 0:04:30.360 have been emailing me, and so I wanted to address 0:04:30.520 --> 0:04:33.880 Uncle Mo al right, because I do believe there is 0:04:33.920 --> 0:04:35.800 no such thing as momentum, and I did the Washington 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:38.240 Nationals win the last two games? To the Washington Nationals 0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:40.720 score a bunch of runs after the seventh thinging, Yes, 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:43.880 all of that is true, but it does not prove momentum. 0:04:44.040 --> 0:04:47.000 And I have said this since very early. I had 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:51.039 a epiphany early on in my broadcasting careyer, and it was, 0:04:51.400 --> 0:04:54.520 first of all, these these terms that we use in sports, 0:04:54.520 --> 0:04:56.800 and I use some of them also, I'm not against 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:59.479 the using them, but I know they're bullshit. But you 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:07.680 know things chemistry, momentum, intangible intangibles, veteran leadership, you know, 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:11.880 the mentors of sports. All of this is just gibberish. 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:13.600 I mean, these these are all things. You know what 0:05:13.680 --> 0:05:15.839 they all have in common. Guests, they're all weasel words. 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:18.520 Well yeah, they're weasel term. You cannot see them, you 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:21.479 cannot touch them. Like if I say, hey, they've got momentum, 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:24.760 will show me what that means? Like intangible terms to 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:28.160 the Nationals had momentum and then they went back home 0:05:28.240 --> 0:05:31.400 and they didn't have momentum anymore, and then the Astros 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:33.880 had momentum. Why would that be the case? And how 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:36.479 do you get momentum? Can you buy momentum? Can you 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:38.960 go on Amazon and get some momentum, momentum and all 0:05:38.960 --> 0:05:41.640 that stuff. So I mean, it's just it's just bs 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:44.760 and I I believe that these games are one based 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:47.680 on a number of things, but things like talent, having 0:05:47.680 --> 0:05:52.600 good players, fundamentals, which means doing the things required taking 0:05:52.640 --> 0:05:57.080 pitches in baseball, fouling pitches off, also throwing strikes, the 0:05:57.440 --> 0:06:01.320 basic things the bedrock of these sports that we talked about. Uh. 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:04.440 And obviously whoever performs better, but that's not that's something 0:06:04.480 --> 0:06:09.640 you can actually tangibly look at and see. And momentum 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:13.520 is an illusionary thing. Uh. And I will say that 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:16.440 to my last breath on this mortal coil. Uh, it's 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:20.200 not real. Um, you know. And now people get confident, 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:22.880 and you know, some people said, well that's momentum, not 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.159 not necessarily. But you know who I blame for this 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:30.680 gasca You blame you blame the suckers out there, well 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:33.080 kind of, but I blame the sports writers, the early 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:35.920 sportswriters in America, which really set the narrative for all this, 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:40.160 Like when baseball was big in the early nineteen hundreds 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:44.360 and when there was no television and radio, and they 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:46.840 the sports writer was the king there were eight papers 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:49.400 in some cities, you know, ten papers in New York 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:52.080 and all that, and so they, the sports writers had 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:54.640 to fill a lot of content in those newspapers because 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:56.720 that's all people got their Internet. They had all the 0:06:56.720 --> 0:06:59.800 information from the newspapers, and so they created a lot 0:06:59.839 --> 0:07:03.400 of bullshit to fill newspaper stories. You know, it's even 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:05.560 today we hear how many times you hear, well, whoever's 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:08.040 got the most Super Bowl experience is gonna win, you know, 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:12.120 all the time every single season. Yeah, defense wins championships 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:16.080 unless it doesn't home field advantage. You know, oh, I 0:07:16.200 --> 0:07:19.560 believes home field. The one that really drives me bonkers 0:07:20.560 --> 0:07:24.440 is locker room chemistry. Now you know why that one 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:27.960 drive drives me insane because it has no bearing on 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:30.320 what happens on the court, or on the field, or 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:33.600 on the ice exactly. Like for example, we'll just use 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:39.600 the current contemporary example. The Houston Astros had an amazing 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:41.480 regular season. I think we could all agree on it. 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:43.240 And I don't like the Astros and I like to 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:45.360 take my shots at them, but they were the top team. 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:48.000 They won one more game than the Dodgers during the 0:07:48.080 --> 0:07:51.720 regular season. They had everything going They had found the 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:55.720 nectar of the gods. They were dominating. They all seemingly 0:07:55.800 --> 0:07:59.280 loved each other with their arrogant struts and their high 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:02.480 stepping in the flamboyance there. And they were the bad 0:08:02.560 --> 0:08:06.000 boys of baseball. And they had all the cy young winners. 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:10.480 They had the top pitcher in baseball, Garrett Cole justin Verland, 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:13.800 or the Hall of Famer Zack Granka Hall of Fame. 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:16.280 They had all these people lined up in a row. 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:20.000 Great chemistry. And I promise you, handed God, if the 0:08:20.000 --> 0:08:22.240 Astros had won Game seven of the World Series, if 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:24.880 they had not choked it away and won the game 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:27.520 two to one or two to nothing, we would have 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:30.160 seen tons of stories the last couple of days here 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:33.679 about how well the Astros just had better chemistry than 0:08:33.720 --> 0:08:38.280 anyone else. Uh well, okay, I wouldn't say they didn't 0:08:38.320 --> 0:08:41.120 get along with each other, but it didn't matter. It's irrelevant. 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:44.200 You know the Washington Nationals, And now people are saying 0:08:44.200 --> 0:08:46.920 that about the Nationals, Well, they just rallied together when 0:08:46.920 --> 0:08:49.320 they fell behind early in the season. They were nineteen 0:08:49.320 --> 0:08:53.080 and thirty one. That's also bullshit. Uh, it had nothing 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:54.960 new with the outcome because nobody would have mentioned that 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:59.040 had they lost Game seven of the World Series. So 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:01.840 my point is is to sum this upcast gun, because 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:04.199 I know we want to keep the podcast. I'm moving, 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:08.840 as they say, but these things, these terms are for 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:13.360 the most part, used to explain the outcome of a game, 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:16.880 and then they are forgotten when the other thing happened. 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:18.800 And I was around early in my career before I 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:20.600 became a blow hard talk show host, I was a 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:23.720 radio stringer, reporter and radio and I was all I 0:09:23.760 --> 0:09:25.520 did was go to games for the mighty six ninety 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:27.520 in San Diego, and I covered the l A sports scene, 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:29.520 so I'd go, you know, every night. You know, I 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:31.080 had no women would date me, so I would go 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:35.280 to like Laker, Clipper games, Dodgers, Angels. There was no NFL. 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:37.520 What at USC football, U c l A football, I 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:40.800 mean literally pretty much in the King's the Ducks. I 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:42.800 mean pretty much every night I was at a game. 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:45.200 That was my life. I had no I know, outside, 0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:47.360 I didn't watch television, I didn't watch movies, but I 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:49.839 was around these teams. I remember the Clippers because I 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:55.520 even liked them back then. Um, they had some horrifically 0:09:55.600 --> 0:09:57.720 bad teams that should have been taken with the slaughterhouse 0:09:58.120 --> 0:10:02.280 before the season. I mean the season turned when they 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:04.439 started Game one because they were terrible. That was the 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:07.640 turning point the season. But anyway, so uh, they some 0:10:07.760 --> 0:10:11.160 of those teams loved each other. They're they're the guys 0:10:11.240 --> 0:10:13.720 hung out together with the other families. They had great 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:17.600 quote chemistry unquote. And you know what else. They had 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:21.080 a bunch of losses. They were terrible, They sucked, you know, 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:23.720 on the court, they were horrific. But they liked each other. 0:10:23.880 --> 0:10:26.040 They got along. You know, they had veterans and the 0:10:26.280 --> 0:10:29.640 young players. And all that is is that's my that's 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:31.480 my point. And you gas on our big time play 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:33.320 by play guy, and someday you'll leave us because you'd 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:35.040 be like the play by play guy for the Memphis 0:10:35.120 --> 0:10:37.400 Grizzlies or something like that, and you will use all 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:39.319 these terms. I don't think I will. And part of 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:41.240 the thing, part of the reason for that is as 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:44.520 I think people get confused with a team getting hot 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:48.520 and momentum, it it's almost to compare it. It's almost 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:52.040 like feeling pressured into doing something like let's say, for example, 0:10:52.080 --> 0:10:54.240 I'm trying to sell you a car, but you need 0:10:54.280 --> 0:10:56.800 a car. It's not pressuring you into buying a car. 0:10:56.920 --> 0:10:59.960 It's more like having a sense of urgency and their point. 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:03.400 It's in a season, whether it's for baseball, football, hockey, basketball, 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:06.319 whatever it is, that a team gets hot, but they 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:09.080 get hot because things just happen where you get the 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:11.360 right shots that go down, you get the right coaching, 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:14.880 players are actually making plays. So it's not like these 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:16.520 guys are just falling off the map. It's not like 0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:19.240 the Houston Astros just fell off the map. It's just 0:11:19.320 --> 0:11:22.120 that they got beat by a better team on that night. 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:24.000 And this kind of goes back to what you mentioned 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:27.000 two thousand and seventeen. And he was also last year 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:29.440 that the Dodgers were better than the Astros during the 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:32.280 regular season and they got beat in the World Series. 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:34.040 But that's not an indictment of what the Dodgers did 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:36.800 during the regular season. That's just about the Astros making 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:39.080 some plays in a couple of games during the World 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:41.360 Series that ultimately led to the triumph. When you looked 0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:43.199 at the runs that were scoring that seven games series, 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:48.120 they're identical. Yeah, listen, I I have long especially in baseball, 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:50.240 but like it's much harder to make the playoffs than 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:52.400 to win the World Series. I mean, it's much You 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:56.160 gotta be good from the late March until October one. 0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:59.520 You only have to be really good in you know, 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:01.280 for a month now you're playing better teams and you 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:03.160 gotta have you know, the tunnel vision and all that 0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:07.760 crap um. But yeah, it's much more difficult. It's a 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:11.440 very random thing. But I do love the tight took 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:13.880 a syndrome that we get a lot in these big games. 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:17.760 It's just wonderful. The flop sweat, the sweaty hands that happened. 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:20.000 You can even go as far as to say stage fright, 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:22.120 which I think we've all had at some point or another. 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:25.160 So that's good. I mean, the momentum goes as far 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:28.360 as you're starting pitching goes, and it was on display 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:31.280 during the seven game series when he had Max Scherzer. 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:35.000 Given that is even that is bullshit, because Zach Grinky 0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:39.080 pitched better than than Scherzer in in Game seven, just 0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:41.640 because it was until Will Harris came in and puked 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:43.439 and that was it. But see, here's the thing though, 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:45.720 and this goes back to even the eight eight World Series. 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:48.800 Kurt Gibson's home run meant nothing unless there was a 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:51.080 runner on board. It was the lock that hurt him. 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:54.040 It wasn't the home run to and Mike Davis. Yeah, 0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:56.640 Mike Davis, he was on board even that, you know. 0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:00.319 And I I said this on the radio the other 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:03.320 day that I'm convinced the Dodgers I've decided now to 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:05.440 this is how I sleep guests gun be sure to 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:08.240 catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at 0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:12.080 two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio 0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:15.280 and the I Heart Radio app. I've decided the reason 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:18.160 the Dodgers are choking dogs in these these big games 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:21.120 in the playoffs, this this era is it's still payback 0:13:21.240 --> 0:13:24.040 for the Dodgers beating that Mighty Oakland A's team that 0:13:24.120 --> 0:13:26.400 they will sort of made a deal with the devil, 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:29.439 all right, and there's some kind of deal that was 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:33.120 made and this is the payback, alright. What's not why 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:37.680 the Cincinnati Reds have been so banded the last well 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:39.960 that and there's yeah, they're still paying for the sins 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:42.800 of Marge Shot, the old owner of the team. I 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:45.920 don't think just because Granky won an inning further doesn't 0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:48.920 mean he out pitchmax shirts or keep in mind Houston 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:51.720 only scored two runs, and they had batters that got 0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:54.719 on board and every single inning until he departed, I 0:13:54.760 --> 0:13:56.800 mean scattered seven hits in the ball game and want 0:13:56.840 --> 0:13:59.200 four batters. I think they fell apart. I mean they 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:02.600 they had one hit after they fell behind the Astros 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:05.800 that they did nothing right. Julie Guriel had a single 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.680 and I think the seventh and they went meekly out 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.640 after that. Ain't nothing. They looked like the Dodgers in 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:14.160 a big game. Well no, I mean to be fair 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:16.320 of the Dodgers. What the bed in the first ending 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:19.560 of that game against the Astros in two thousand seventeen. 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:21.880 So anyway, you don't have to remind me, all right? 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:26.040 Moving on, the bender, not Aaron bender, not the news bender, 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:31.040 not an alcoholic bender as in the Tales of My Life, 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:37.120 a fender bender, guesscan. I don't think you noticed this um, 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:41.440 which shows you you're not very uh perceptive, But I 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:43.320 noticed it. It doesn't mean I need to post it 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:46.240 on social media like you did with my car. Well, 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:49.520 I didn't post you weren't in an accident, but I 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:55.120 took a photo of your terrible parking a window got show. 0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:59.320 I guess Mercury is in retrograde. So I actually saved 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:01.120 this with the podcast. Did not mention this at all 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:04.600 what I've been going through off the radio on on 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:06.520 the radio. So I'll save it here for the podcast. 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:08.600 So because this is like for the heart of super 0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:11.680 fans of the show, this podcast, I mean, you're a 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:13.800 different kind of fan. Yeah, you've gone above and beyond 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:15.160 just a list of the radio show, but now to 0:15:15.200 --> 0:15:19.120 download this podcast. Oh my god. So the Mallarmobile, which 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:22.680 is right next to the Batmobile and Iconic Automobiles, has 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:26.880 been dinged up pretty good here. Last week, it was Friday, 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:31.280 Friday evening. I went to have a nice meal. I 0:15:31.320 --> 0:15:35.800 went to have some chicken thing cheat meal. I don't 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:37.520 eat much during the week, so when I had said, okay, 0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:39.560 I'll give it a good cheap meal. Uh, And then 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:41.680 I went to the store to pick up some bread 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:44.320 because I was gonna make something else later. And so 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:47.480 I picked up some bread. By the way, is that 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:49.720 not the most boring statements? Not that the most grown 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:51.280 up thing? I went to the store to pick up 0:15:51.280 --> 0:15:55.120 some bread, right, Yeah, a Friday night. You just sound 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:59.480 old and right, How dull. Is that you sound domesticated. Yeah, 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:01.800 we'll blame my wife. You no, no, your but your 0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:06.720 wife isn't Your wife isn't a home body. She's like both. 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:08.560 She's like a home body and she's not. And you know, 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:10.440 she likes to go out and be she's always a 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:12.320 life of the party. But she'sn't mind being at home. 0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:15.600 But the problem, my my wife got me to move 0:16:15.680 --> 0:16:18.480 to suburbia. You know, I was in the heart of 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:21.440 the heart of the jungle, the heart of the concrete 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:23.080 jungle there in the middle of the city and all 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:26.280 that stuff. And uh, you know, I about them living, 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:30.040 you know, the cookie cutter suburbs right near Vegas, on 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:33.320 the way to on the way to Vegas. But anyway, so, uh, 0:16:33.560 --> 0:16:35.320 they didn't have what I was looking more, here's the kicker. 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:37.240 So they didn't have what I was looking for. There's 0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:40.280 a specific type of role uh that I when I 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:42.880 make my cheese steak, my homemade Philly cheese steak, there's 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:45.160 a certain kind of bread that I want and I'm 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:47.440 not gonna, not gonna settle for anything else. So anyway, 0:16:47.640 --> 0:16:51.240 I got in my car, I drive out of the 0:16:51.360 --> 0:16:54.960 lot at this grocery store and as I am driving 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:58.880 towards the exit, I hear bam man, and I'm like, 0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:03.760 what the fuck? I anything? And this car had backed 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:07.920 out of a parking space and slammed the back of 0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:10.959 my car as I'm driving out of a lot, and 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:13.280 so I'm like off, you know, you hear that sound. 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:16.000 You're like, My immediate reaction is all right, maybe it's 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:18.240 not that bad. Boy. That sounded bad, you know, And 0:17:18.280 --> 0:17:20.040 you don't know until you get out of car how 0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:22.280 fucked up your car is, you know. And I so 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:24.240 I'm freaking, you know, I'm like, crap, you know, this 0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:25.920 is a pain of the ass, you know, the whole thing. 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:27.959 And so I got out a car with a woman 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:31.040 who hit me. She's got like three kids with her. 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:34.920 They're all like young kids. She's freaking out right, she says, 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:38.119 I've never been in this. But then the nightmare, you know, 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:40.320 the real plot, twist your guest gun, the kids come 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:42.879 out and blame you. No, no, the kids didn't blame me. 0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:45.840 They were eating like lollipops and uh and ice cream 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:50.240 bars or whatever, so they were happy. But she says, 0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:53.200 I have no insurance. Oh boy, yeah, she's I got 0:17:53.200 --> 0:17:55.679 no insurance. Oh boy, I said, what the what the 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:58.600 hell is that? How do you know how insurance? Everyone's 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:00.879 got insurance? I do kaiko commercial twenty times an hour. 0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:02.720 How does know what? How do you not having sued? 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:06.320 So anyway, I don't have insurance. So okay, I'm I'm 0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:09.639 on the phone with I called the insurance I have. 0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:12.520 I called him up. And as I'm on the phone 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:15.520 filing the claim, she says, no, no, no, no, She 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:19.159 says to me, don't worry. My husband has actually has 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:22.600 the insurance. He's gonna take care of it. She's like 0:18:23.040 --> 0:18:25.679 kind of encouraged me to get off the phone. She 0:18:25.720 --> 0:18:28.240 was like really emotional. I was like, okay, you know, 0:18:28.280 --> 0:18:30.399 I felt bad. She's a woman with three kids, you know, 0:18:30.440 --> 0:18:32.720 and I guess I have some heart. So I was like, okay, 0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:34.239 you know, I'll give her a solid I don't want 0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:37.080 to get her in trouble here. Um, and so okay, 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:39.640 I hung up filed before I had filed the report, 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:42.360 and then I get the run around from the husband. 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:46.560 Uh and he's like, hey, you know, I'm working. You know, 0:18:46.680 --> 0:18:48.520 I don't have any time, but you give me a 0:18:48.600 --> 0:18:52.280 few days. You know. He's gave me the runaround. Don't 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:54.919 tell me, and he said, uh, I'll get you what 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:57.720 you need door and other stuff. So I anyway, I 0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:00.400 eventually uh, I went to meet him to get the information. 0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:05.440 Apparently he can't text and uh. Anyway, it turns out 0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:08.919 that he did not produce the insurance. He was lying 0:19:09.520 --> 0:19:13.159 and they didn't have any insurance. And so now fortunately 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:16.000 I have liability. We have to pay a deductible for 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:19.879 being hit by an uninsured driver. And I still have 0:19:19.960 --> 0:19:22.520 not had the mallan wibile repaired. By the way, So 0:19:22.720 --> 0:19:25.840 did you do your due diligence? Did you take a 0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:29.520 picture of her license plate? Take a picture her car? Yeah, 0:19:29.520 --> 0:19:32.600 I have her I have her information, so I have that. 0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:35.520 But it's a it's a mess. Man. Did you call 0:19:35.600 --> 0:19:38.439 the police and let them know? I did not, Um, 0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:41.399 but I have some kind of have a number obviously 0:19:41.400 --> 0:19:43.159 a phone number for the husband, so I have a 0:19:43.160 --> 0:19:45.760 way of self contacting. I don't know if it's a 0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:48.080 hit and run because he did stay. They just didn't 0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:50.479 have insurance. I don't know your dad would know that. 0:19:50.520 --> 0:19:53.400 I don't know it's legal to drive without insurance. That's 0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:55.840 what I'm thinking, man, You know, I mean you need 0:19:56.119 --> 0:19:58.200 you need to put the screws to her. And I 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:00.000 don't want to. Man, she seemed like a nice person, 0:20:00.160 --> 0:20:03.040 but I mean, don't hit my fucking car. And and then, uh, 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:05.200 you know, I said my first you know, I said, 0:20:05.240 --> 0:20:08.240 this is great. This is how spoiled I am. When 0:20:08.280 --> 0:20:09.840 I got out of car, I saw my car was 0:20:09.880 --> 0:20:11.840 all screwed up. I looked at her. I said, what, 0:20:11.960 --> 0:20:15.320 you don't have a backup camera? Oh boy? And she 0:20:15.359 --> 0:20:19.879 said no. And say it's it's pretty hard to miss 0:20:19.920 --> 0:20:22.359 your car because you have an ugly ass color on 0:20:22.400 --> 0:20:24.879 your car. I have a beautiful car. I want you 0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:28.600