WEBVTT - CZM Book Club: Winnie the Pooh by AA Milne 0:00:01.720 --> 0:00:03.240 Cool Zone Media. 0:00:06.320 --> 0:00:10.720 Book Club book Club, book Club book Club. Hello and 0:00:10.760 --> 0:00:12.680 welcome to the Cool Zone Media book Club, the only 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:14.600 book club where you don't have to do the reading 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:16.319 because I do it or you. 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:19.840 I'm your host, Margaret Kildoy, and usually I bring you 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:24.480 stories that I can point to some political reasoning behind. 0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:28.360 But this week I wanted to do something fun and 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:31.840 my idea of fun which still means weird, old timey shit, 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:36.879 but fun nonetheless. And one of my friends said to me, well, 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:39.120 Winnie the Pooh's in public domain, you could do Winnie 0:00:39.120 --> 0:00:42.239 the Pooh. And I thought, ha ha ha, that is 0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:44.800 a funny joke. And so I looked up some Winnie 0:00:44.800 --> 0:00:47.040 the Pooh and I started reading it to two of 0:00:47.080 --> 0:00:50.720 my friends this morning, and I was like, wait, no, 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:54.600 this is really fun to read. It's just fun. It's 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:58.240 very well written in a kind of interesting way. It's 0:00:58.320 --> 0:01:00.560 just literally, like the words roll off the tongue in 0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:02.680 a fun way. So that's what I'm going to read 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:05.080 to you today. I'm going to read you some chapters 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:08.840 from the book Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Pooh was 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:12.240 written by a guy named AA Milm and it was 0:01:12.280 --> 0:01:15.240 written for his son Christopher Robin, who's the sort of 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:17.840 main character, well, Winnie the Pooh's the main character, but 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:20.880 the main human character. And it's basically a bunch of 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:26.920 children's stories that an incredibly talented author wrote for his 0:01:27.319 --> 0:01:33.240 kid about his kids stuffed animals, and it did it 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:35.280 in a really interesting way. And so then I had 0:01:35.319 --> 0:01:36.560 to do this thing where I was like, ah, I 0:01:36.600 --> 0:01:39.000 need to look up Miln's like to figure out if 0:01:39.040 --> 0:01:41.160 he's just like an absolute bastard. And I don't know 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:43.240 everything about him yet. This is like not something I'm 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:46.160 incredibly well versed in, but I spent several hours reading 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:49.960 about Milm this morning, and I can tell you that, 0:01:50.040 --> 0:01:52.720 if nothing else, he was a pacifist. Although he was 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:56.200 a pacifist who fought in both World Wars, and he 0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:58.200 fought the First World War because he felt like he 0:01:58.240 --> 0:01:59.840 got tricked into thinking it was the war to end 0:01:59.840 --> 0:02:04.320 all wars. And then he wrote this book, this anti 0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:06.840 war book called Peace with Honor in nineteen thirty four 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:10.000 that was basically like, hey, we shouldn't go to war, 0:02:10.240 --> 0:02:15.840 like propacifism argument. But then as the Nazis came to power, 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:19.200 he was like, you know what, well, and the Nazi's 0:02:19.200 --> 0:02:20.960 already come to power in nineteen thirty four, but as 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:24.160 things got real obvious, he actually changed his mind and 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:26.079 he was like, in nineteen forty he wrote a book 0:02:26.120 --> 0:02:29.560 called War with Honor, and I don't think that book 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:32.400 is a particularly important radical text or anything. It's all 0:02:32.440 --> 0:02:35.120 about how the atomic bomb is good because it'll end 0:02:35.200 --> 0:02:41.520 the war. But either way, he came around on anti fascism. Well, 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:43.160 I think he was always anti fascists as best as 0:02:43.200 --> 0:02:45.880 I can tell. But basically he was like, you know what, like, 0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:50.000 I'm anti war, but Hitler is essentially the devil and 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:54.600 needs to be stopped. And personally, I don't think he's 0:02:54.639 --> 0:02:59.200 wrong about that. I don't feel pacifist about World War 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:04.880 two at all. So he's really interesting quotes, right, like 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:08.840 when the Austrian Archduke Fernadad or whatever the fuck gets 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:11.959 off and it starts World War one, his quote about 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:14.480 it was that this has quote resulted in the death 0:03:14.480 --> 0:03:18.000 of nearly ten million men who were not archdukes. And 0:03:18.040 --> 0:03:21.920 he also wrote wars are fought for economic reasons, but 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:25.640 they are fought by volunteers for sentimental reasons. And he 0:03:25.720 --> 0:03:29.960 talks about how propaganda machines like work to create cultural 0:03:29.960 --> 0:03:33.320 consensus that we should all go off and sacrifice ourselves 0:03:33.720 --> 0:03:36.560 into the war machine. None of that has anything to 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:38.440 do with Winnie the Pooh, and I don't know what 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:41.760 he feels about colonialism or any of that stuff, but 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:44.240 I do know that after he survived World War One, 0:03:44.560 --> 0:03:46.880 he was like, I am so lucky that I survived 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:50.560 World War One, so I'm going to work very very 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:54.720 hard to try and create art. And he did. He 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:57.400 was just an incredibly hard working author. And then the 0:03:57.440 --> 0:03:59.520 Winnie the Pooh books just kind of like took off 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:03.360 rather than like ride them into the sunset. He did 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:04.720 them for a while, and then he was like, you 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:06.200 know what, I don't really want to do this anymore. 0:04:06.400 --> 0:04:09.560 And I have so much respect for that. So I 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:12.120 don't know enough about him to really say anything one 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:13.760 way or the other, but the stuff I've read about 0:04:13.800 --> 0:04:21.440 him is interesting. Aa Milne, Winnie the Pooh, everyone, thanks 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:25.280 for doing something fun with me. Chapter one, in which 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:28.200 we are introduced to Winnie the Pooh and some bees 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:34.120 and the stories begin. Here is Edward Bhaer coming downstairs. 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:36.600 Now bump bump bump on the back of his head 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:40.240 behind Christopher Robin. It is, as far as he knows, 0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:43.480 the only way of coming downstairs. But sometimes he feels 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:46.000 that there really is another way, if only he could 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:49.280 stop bumping for a moment and think of it. And 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:52.760 then he feels that perhaps there isn't anyhow. Here he 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:55.080 is at the bottom and ready to be introduced to you, 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:59.200 Winnie the Pooh. When I first heard his name, I said, 0:04:59.240 --> 0:05:01.600 just as you were going to say. But I thought 0:05:01.600 --> 0:05:05.039 he was a boy, so did I said Christopher Robin. 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:09.960 Then you can't call him Winnie. I don't. But you 0:05:10.040 --> 0:05:12.280 said he's Winnie their Pooh. 0:05:12.320 --> 0:05:13.479 Don't you know what there means? 0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:14.359 Ah? 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:16.400 Yes, now I do, I said quickly, And I hope 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:19.080 you do too, because it is all the explanation you 0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:22.880 are going to get. Sometimes Winnie the Pooh likes a 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:25.400 game of some sort when he comes downstairs, and sometimes 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:27.400 he likes to sit quietly in front of the fire 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:32.280 and listen to a story this evening. What about a story, 0:05:32.440 --> 0:05:37.320 said Christopher Robin. What about a story? I said, could 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:41.000 you very sweetly tell Winnie the Pooh one? I suppose 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:43.719 I could? I said, what sort of stories does he 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:48.560 like about himself? Because he's that sort of bear. Oh, 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:54.240 I see, so, could you very sweetly? I'll try, I said, so. 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:54.920 I tried. 0:05:56.480 --> 0:05:59.200 Once upon a time, a very long time ago, now 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:02.800 about last Friday, Winnie the Pooh lived in a forest 0:06:02.839 --> 0:06:06.240 all by himself, under the name of Sanders. What does 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:09.359 under the name mean, asked Christopher Robin. It means he 0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:11.320 had a name over the door in gold letters and 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:14.320 lived under it. Winnie the Pooh wasn't quite sure, said 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:18.360 Christopher Robin. Now I am, said a growly voice. Then 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:22.039 I will go on, said I. One day, when he 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:24.120 was out walking, he came to an open place in 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:26.159 the middle of the forest. And in the middle of 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:28.159 this place was a large oak tree, And from the 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:30.880 top of the tree there came a loud, buzzing noise. 0:06:32.360 --> 0:06:34.280 Winnie the Pooh sat down at the foot of the tree, 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:36.640 put his head between his paws, and began to think. 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:40.839 First of all, he said to himself that buzzing noise 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:43.640 means something. You don't get a buzzy noise like that, 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:47.160 just buzzing and buzzing without its meaning something. If there's 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:49.239 a buzzing noise, somebody's. 0:06:48.960 --> 0:06:50.159 Making a buzzy noise. 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:53.000 And the only reason for making a buzzy noise that 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:56.880 I know of is because you're a bee. Then he 0:06:57.000 --> 0:07:00.000 thought another long time and said, and the only reason 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:03.640 for being a bee that I know of is making honey. 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:06.160 And then he got up, and he said, and the 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:08.960 only reason for making honey is so that I can 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:12.880 eat it. So he began to climb the tree. He 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:15.679 climbed and he climbed, and he climbed and he climbed, 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:18.040 and he sang a little song to himself. It went like, this, 0:07:19.200 --> 0:07:23.040 isn't it funny how a bear likes honey? Buzz buzz buzz. 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:27.320 I wonder why he does. Then he climbed a little further, 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:30.320 and a little further, and then just a little further. 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:33.880 By that time he had thought of another song. It's 0:07:33.920 --> 0:07:36.600 a very funny thought that if bears were bees, they 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:39.680 build their nests at the bottom of trees, And that 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:42.960 being so, if bees were bears, we shouldn't have to 0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:47.440 climb up all these stairs. He was getting rather tired 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:49.600 by this time, so that is why he sang a 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:52.960 complaining song. He was nearly there now, and if he 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:57.440 just stood on that branch, crack oh, help, said pooh, 0:07:57.600 --> 0:07:59.960 As he dropped ten feet on the branch below him. 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:02.960 If only I hadn't, he said, as he bounced twenty 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:05.360 feet on to the next branch. You see what I 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:07.760 meant to do, he explained, as he turned head over 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:11.160 heels and crashed onto another branch thirty feet below. What 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:15.520 I meant to do? Of course it was rather, he admitted, 0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:18.200 as he slithered very quickly through the next six branches. 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:21.960 It all comes, I suppose, he decided, as he said 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:25.240 goodbye to the last branch, spun round three times, and 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:28.760 flew gracefully into a gorse bush. It all comes of 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:33.560 liking honey so much. Oh help. He crawled out of 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:35.960 the gorse bush, brushed the prickles from his nose, and 0:08:36.000 --> 0:08:38.840 began to think again. And the first person he thought 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:40.480 of was Christopher Robin. 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:41.680 Was that me? 0:08:41.800 --> 0:08:44.760 Said Christopher Robin in an awed voice, hardly daring to 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:45.200 believe it. 0:08:45.760 --> 0:08:46.400 That was you. 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:49.520 Christopher Robin said nothing, but his eyes got larger and 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:53.960 larger in his face got pinker and pinker. So Winnie 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:56.199 the Pooh went round to his friend Christopher Robin, who 0:08:56.240 --> 0:08:59.120 lived behind a green door in another part of the forest. 0:08:59.720 --> 0:09:01.960 And do you know what was plastered on that door? 0:09:02.000 --> 0:09:05.559 Dear listener, nothing but ads. It just the ads are 0:09:05.600 --> 0:09:08.400 just always there. They just interject themselves into all of 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:09.720 your childhood favorites. 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:22.440 Here they are, Andrew back. 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:28.000 Good morning, Christopher Robin, he said, good morning. Winnie the 0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:30.960 Pooh said you, I wonder if you've got such a 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:32.440 thing as a balloon about you. 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:33.640 A balloon. 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:36.240 Yes, I just said to myself, coming along, I wonder 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:38.200 if Christopher Robin has such a thing as a balloon 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:40.480 about him. I just said it to myself, thinking of 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:43.959 balloons and wondering, what do you want a balloon for? 0:09:44.080 --> 0:09:44.200 You? 0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:46.920 Said Winnie the Pooh, looked round to see that nobody 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:48.920 was listening, put his paw to his mouth, and said, 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:53.280 in a deep whisper, honey. But you don't get honey 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:58.200 with balloons, I do, said Pooh. Well, it just happened 0:09:58.240 --> 0:09:59.800 that you had been to a party the day before 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:02.560 house of your friend Piglet, and you had balloons. 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:03.599 At the party. 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:06.200 You had a big green balloon, and one of Rabbit's 0:10:06.200 --> 0:10:09.280 relations had had a very big blue one and had 0:10:09.360 --> 0:10:11.840 left it behind, being really too young to go to 0:10:11.880 --> 0:10:13.800 a party at all, And so you had brought the 0:10:13.840 --> 0:10:16.960 green one and the blue one home with you. Which 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:19.680 one would you like, you asked Pooh. He put his 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:24.280 head between his paws and thought very carefully. It's like this, 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:27.000 he said, when you go after honey with a balloon, 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:28.960 the great thing is to not let the bees knows 0:10:29.000 --> 0:10:31.679 you're coming. Now, if you have a green balloon, they 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:33.560 might think you were only part of the tree and 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:35.760 not notice you. And if you had a blue balloon, 0:10:35.800 --> 0:10:37.160 well they might think you were only part of the 0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:40.400 sky and not notice you. The question is which is 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:45.440 most likely. Wouldn't they notice you beneath the balloon, you asked? 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:48.240 They might or they might not, said Winnie the Pooh. 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:50.960 You never can't tell with bees. He thought for a 0:10:51.000 --> 0:10:53.240 moment and said, I shall try to look like a 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:54.160 small black cloud. 0:10:54.679 --> 0:10:56.160 That will deceive them. 0:10:56.480 --> 0:10:58.440 Then you had better have a blue balloon, you said, 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:01.760 And so it was decided. Well, you both went out 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:03.960 with the blue balloon, and you took your gun with you, 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:06.760 just in case, as you always did. And Winnie the 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:08.720 Pooh went to a very muddy place that he knew of, 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:10.640 and rolled and rolled until he was black all over. 0:11:10.720 --> 0:11:12.720 And then when the balloon was blown up as big 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:14.920 as big, and you and Pooh were both holding on 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:17.120 to the string. You let go suddenly, and Pooh Bear 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:20.480 floated gracefully up into the sky and stayed there, level 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:22.640 with the top of the tree, about twenty feet away 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:27.319 from it. Hooray, you shouted. Isn't that fine? Shouted Winnie 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:29.240 the Pooh down to you. What do I look like? 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:32.200 You look like a bear holding on to a balloon, 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:35.839 you said, not, said Pooh anxiously. Not like a small 0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:40.079 black cloud in a blue sky. Not very much. Ah well, 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:43.000 perhaps from up here it looks different. And as I say, 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:46.400 you never can tell with bees. There was no wind 0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:48.319 to blow him nearer to the tree, and so there 0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:51.080 he stayed. He could see the honey, he could smell 0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:54.720 the honey, but he couldn't quite reach the honey. After 0:11:54.760 --> 0:11:57.959 a little while, he called down to you, Christopher Robin, 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:02.720 He said, in a loud whisper, Hello, I think the 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:06.920 bees suspects something. What sort of thing, I don't know, 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:11.199 but something tells me that they're suspicious. Perhaps they think 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:14.320 you're after their honey, and maybe that you never can 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:17.400 tell with bees. There was another little silence, then he 0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:22.679 called down to you again, Christopher Robin. Yes, have you 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:26.960 an umbrella in your house? I think so I wish 0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:28.960 you would bring it out here and walk up and 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:30.959 down with it and look up at me every now 0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:33.720 and then and say tut tut. It looks like Rain. 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:36.040 I think if you did that, it would help the 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:39.880 deception which we are practicing on these bees. Well, you 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:43.079 laughed to yourself, silly old bear, or you didn't say 0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:45.360 it aloud because you were so fond of him, and 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:46.320 he went home. 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:48.280 For your umbrella. 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:50.640 Oh there you are, called down, Winnie the Pooh. As 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:52.880 soon as you got back to the tree, I was 0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:55.559 beginning to get anxious. I have discovered that the bees 0:12:55.600 --> 0:13:00.480 are now definitely suspicious. Shall I put my umbrella? You 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:04.239 said yes, But wait a moment. We must be practical. 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:07.559 The important bee to deceive is the queen bee. Can 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:09.280 you see which is the queen bee? From down? 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:09.520 There? 0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:13.680 No a pity. Well, now, if you walk up and 0:13:13.720 --> 0:13:16.400 down with your umbrella saying tut tut, it looks like Rain. 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:18.760 I shall do what I can by singing a little 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:20.880 cloud song, such as a cloud might sing. 0:13:21.360 --> 0:13:21.440 Go. 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:25.320 And so while you walked up and down and wondered 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:27.880 if it would rain, Winnie the Pooh sang this song, 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:31.880 How sweet to be a cloud? Floating in the blue. 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:35.720 Every little cloud always sings aloud, How sweet to be 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:39.160 a cloud floating in the blue. It makes them very 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:43.360 proud to be a little cloud. The bees were still 0:13:43.360 --> 0:13:46.600 buzzing as suspiciously as ever. Some of them indeed left 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:48.800 their nests and flew all around the cloud as it 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:51.440 began the second verse of the song, and one bee 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:53.720 sat down on the nose of the cloud for a moment, 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:58.800 and then got up again. Christopher ow Robin called out 0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:02.320 the cloud. Yes, I have just been thinking, and I 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:05.040 have come to a very important decision. These are the 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:09.400 wrong sorts of bees? Are they quite the wrong sort? 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:11.640 So I should think they would make the wrong sort 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:14.079 of honey, shouldn't you? Would they? 0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:15.120 Yes? 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:18.960 So I think I shall come down, how asked you? 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:22.360 Winnie the Pooh hadn't thought about this. If you let 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:24.640 go of the string, he would fall bump and he 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:26.920 didn't like the idea that, so he thought for a 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:30.200 long time, and then he said, Christopher Robin, you must 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:33.240 shoot the balloon with your gun, if you got your gun. 0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:36.320 Of course I have, you said, But if I do that, 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:39.680 it will spoil the balloon, you said. But if you don't, 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:42.240 said Pooh, I shall have to let go, and that 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:46.040 would spoil me. When he put it like this, you 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:48.680 saw how it was, and you aimed very carefully at 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:53.880 the balloon and fired ow, said Pooh, did I miss? 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:54.480 You asked. 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:58.400 You didn't exactly miss, said Pooh, But you missed the balloon. 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:01.760 I'm so sorry, you said, And you fired again, and 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:04.120 this time you hit the balloon, and the air came 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:06.880 slowly out, and Winnie the Pooh floated down to the ground. 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:09.560 But his arms were so stiff from holding onto the 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:12.240 string of the balloon all that time that they stayed 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:14.120 up straight in the air for more than a week. 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:16.720 And whenever a fly came and settled on his nose, 0:15:16.760 --> 0:15:19.360 he had to blow it off. And I think, but 0:15:19.440 --> 0:15:22.160 I am not sure, that that is why he was 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:26.000 always called Pooh. Is that the end of the story, 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:29.360 asked Christopher Robin. That's the end of one. There are 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:32.760 others about Pooh and me and Piglet and Rabbit and 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:35.600 all of you. Don't you remember? I do remember, It's 0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:38.160 just that when I try to remember, I forget that 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:41.480 day when Pooh and Piglet tried to catch the heffalump Oh. 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:45.160 They didn't catch it, did they No, Pooh couldn't because 0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:47.760 he hasn't any brain. Did I catch it? Well, that 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:51.840 comes into the story, Christopher Robin nodded, I do remember, 0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:54.080 he said, Only Pooh doesn't very well. So that's why 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:56.280 he likes having it told to him again, because then 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.440 it's a real story and not just a remembering. That's 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:03.040 just how I feel, I said. Christopher Robin gave a 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:05.000 deep sigh, picked up his bear by the leg, and 0:16:05.040 --> 0:16:08.160 walked off to the door, trailing Poo behind him. At 0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:10.520 the door, he turned around and said, coming to see 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:13.760 me have my bath? I might, I said, it didn't 0:16:13.800 --> 0:16:16.480 hurt him when I shot him? Did it? Not a bit? 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:19.480 He nodded and went out, And in a moment I 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:22.680 heard Winnie the Pooh bump bump bump going up the 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:27.480 stairs behind him, and what he also heard was the 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:35.040 sweet serenade of advertisers singing an evening song, unless you 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:37.120 have cooler zon media, in which case you just hear 0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:51.320 the interjections and we're back, all right. I'm a skip 0:16:51.400 --> 0:16:53.600 chapter two because it's just literally about Winnie the Pooh 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:55.520 getting stuck in a door and being too fat, and 0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:58.880 so they starve him because that sucks. I mean whatever, 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:01.800 I'm not trying to canceled Winnie the Pooh, but I'm 0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:04.480 not going to read it. I'm going to read chapter three, 0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:08.840 which is in which Pooh and Piglet go hunting and 0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:13.760 nearly catch a woozle. And I'm totally reading this one 0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:15.960 because of the name that comes up in the first paragraph, 0:17:16.000 --> 0:17:21.000 because it's so sick. The Piglet lived in a very 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:23.560 grand house in the middle of a beach tree, and 0:17:23.680 --> 0:17:25.600 the beach tree was in the middle of the forest, 0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:28.480 and Piglet lived in the middle of the house. Next 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:30.520 to his house was a piece of broken board which 0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:35.040 had Trespasser's W on it. When Christopher Robbin asked the 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:37.679 Piglet what it meant, he said it was his grandfather's 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:40.040 name and had been in the family for a long time. 0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:44.800 Christopher Robin said, you couldn't be called Trespasser's w and 0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:47.560 Piglet said, yes, you could, because his grandfather was and 0:17:47.640 --> 0:17:51.280 it was short for Trespasser's will, which was short for trespassers. William, 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:53.720 and his grandfather had had two names in just in 0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:57.240 case he lost one, Trespassers after an uncle and William 0:17:57.320 --> 0:18:02.240 after Trespassers. I've got two names, said Christopher Robin carelessly. 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:05.560 Well there you are. That proves it, said Piglet. 0:18:06.800 --> 0:18:09.480 One fine winter's day, when Piglet was brushing away the 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:11.720 snow from the front of his house, he happened to 0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:14.520 look up and there was Winnie the Pooh. Pooh was 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:17.800 walking round round in a circle, thinking of something else, 0:18:17.840 --> 0:18:21.359 and when Piglet called to him, he just went on walking. Hello, 0:18:21.680 --> 0:18:26.960 said Piglet. What are you doing? Hunting, said Pooh. Hunting? 0:18:27.000 --> 0:18:32.600 What tracking something? Said Winnie the Pooh, very mysteriously, tracking what, 0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:36.440 said Piglet. Coming closer. That's just what I ask myself. 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:41.000 I ask myself, what what do you think you'll answer? 0:18:41.680 --> 0:18:43.520 I shall have to wait until I catch up with it, 0:18:43.560 --> 0:18:46.280 said Winnie the Pooh. Now look there, he pointed to 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:50.000 the ground in front of him. What do you see there, track, 0:18:50.080 --> 0:18:55.240 said Piglet. Pall marks. He gave a little squeak of excitement. Oh, Pooh, 0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:59.280 do you think it's a a woozle? It may be, 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:03.040 said Pooh. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. You 0:19:03.119 --> 0:19:06.560 can never tell with pall marks, But these few words. 0:19:06.560 --> 0:19:08.879 He went on tracking in Piglet after watching him for 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:11.680 a minute or two ran after him. Winnie the Pooh 0:19:11.720 --> 0:19:14.120 had come to a sudden stop and was bending over 0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:17.280 the tracks in a puzzled sort of way. What's the matter, 0:19:17.320 --> 0:19:20.960 asked Piglet. It's a very funny thing, said Bear. But 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:25.679 there seems to be two animals now, This whatever it was, 0:19:25.760 --> 0:19:28.000 has been joined by another, whatever it is, and the 0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:30.800 two of them are now proceeding in company. Would you 0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:33.160 mind coming with me, Piglet, in case they turn out 0:19:33.160 --> 0:19:37.600 to be hostile animals? Piglet scratched his ear in a 0:19:37.680 --> 0:19:39.320 nice sort of way and said that he had nothing 0:19:39.320 --> 0:19:41.600 to do until Friday, and he would be delighted to 0:19:41.600 --> 0:19:45.120 come in case it really was a woozle. You mean, 0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:48.480 in case it really is two woozles, said Winnie the Pooh, 0:19:48.760 --> 0:19:50.879 and Piglet said that anyhow, he had nothing to do 0:19:50.960 --> 0:19:55.480 until Friday, so off they went together. There was a 0:19:55.520 --> 0:19:58.960 small spinney of larch trees just there, and it seemed 0:19:58.960 --> 0:20:01.000 as if the two woozle so if that's what they were, 0:20:01.280 --> 0:20:04.359 had been going round this spinney. So round the spinny 0:20:04.359 --> 0:20:07.560 went Pooh and Piglet after them, Piglet passing the time 0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:11.280 by telling Pooh what his grandfather Trespasser's w had done 0:20:11.400 --> 0:20:15.840 to remove stiffness after tracking, and how his grandfather Trespasser's 0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:18.800 W had suffered in his later years from shortness of 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:22.240 breath and other matters of interest, and Pooh wondering what 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:25.120 a grandfather was like, and if perhaps this was two 0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:28.080 grandfathers they were after now, and if so, whether he 0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:29.959 would be allowed to take one home and keep it, 0:20:30.359 --> 0:20:33.639 and what Christopher Robin would say, And still the tracks 0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:36.560 went on in front of them. Suddenly Winnie the Pooh 0:20:36.560 --> 0:20:40.600 stopped and pointed excitedly in front of him. Look what, 0:20:40.800 --> 0:20:43.359 said Piglet, with a jump, And then to show that 0:20:43.400 --> 0:20:45.960 he hadn't been frightened, he jumped up and down once 0:20:46.080 --> 0:20:49.439 or twice more in an exercising sort of way. The tracks, 0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:52.040 said Pooh. A third animal has joined the other two. 0:20:52.960 --> 0:20:56.840 Pooh cried Piglet. Do you think it's another woozl No, 0:20:57.119 --> 0:20:59.680