1
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,920
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Smitha and welcome to Stephane

2
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:19,480
Speaker 1: ever told your production of iHeart Radio. All right, y'all,

3
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,560
Speaker 1: we've talked a lot about the different ways we cope

4
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,600
Speaker 1: this year, the last year. Shoot, y'all, I'm still trying

5
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,280
Speaker 1: to figure out how to cope in general. I'm reading

6
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:32,080
Speaker 1: about brain fog and all of this. I don't know about.

7
00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:35,919
Speaker 1: Y'all've been googling the hell out of how to focus

8
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,080
Speaker 1: or how not to be tired. It has not helped.

9
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:43,440
Speaker 1: Just you know, just um, And you know what, when

10
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,800
Speaker 1: it comes to the holidays, we know there's a lot

11
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,320
Speaker 1: of stress. And we've talked about it a lot um

12
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,760
Speaker 1: because both of us have talked about being overwhelmed during

13
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:55,520
Speaker 1: these oh so festive times, especially you know, during the

14
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,240
Speaker 1: last couple of years. And yeah, I will say you've

15
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,880
Speaker 1: gotten a little better. I don't get as angry as

16
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:06,400
Speaker 1: I used to for the gratuitous, preemptive need to put

17
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:11,119
Speaker 1: on Christmas music. But still why just still why? But hey,

18
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:19,080
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get better about this. Good. Yeah, I

19
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,839
Speaker 1: mean I feel more. I feel bad badly for people

20
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,080
Speaker 1: who work in retail. As someone who worked during a

21
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:29,520
Speaker 1: holiday season and retail that that's that music. Usually they

22
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,839
Speaker 1: only have one c D. They just play it over

23
00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,959
Speaker 1: and over alright, and it was a radio station they

24
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:39,720
Speaker 1: repeated every two hours. I found that out. Yes, but yes,

25
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:41,880
Speaker 1: we have done episodes about the added stressors of the

26
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,600
Speaker 1: holidays from women and just the labor and need to

27
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,760
Speaker 1: go overboard. So we wanted to do a check in

28
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,440
Speaker 1: and some advice on how to cope a bit better

29
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:53,120
Speaker 1: this year. And we say advice loosely because we know,

30
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:57,920
Speaker 1: again you probably can google it yourself and or have already,

31
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,840
Speaker 1: but hey, it's nice to hear it every now and again. Um.

32
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,880
Speaker 1: And for me, this is the first I guess normal

33
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:09,240
Speaker 1: after pandemic holiday in which you know, the last year

34
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:13,440
Speaker 1: my family had pretty much all had COVID and so

35
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,880
Speaker 1: everything was postponed. Um, it was getting worse and worse,

36
00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,720
Speaker 1: and the up and downs of it. Uh, And I

37
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:23,239
Speaker 1: won't lie, there is a bit of anxiety, a lot

38
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,880
Speaker 1: of anxiety. And added that this big bridge my partner

39
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,200
Speaker 1: and I are at in which we have decided to

40
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,840
Speaker 1: divide our time with family as well, so trying to

41
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,880
Speaker 1: get time with his family, so I'll go down there

42
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:39,160
Speaker 1: or go to where they are, or deciding how you know,

43
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,200
Speaker 1: if if we're going to go to my parents and

44
00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,400
Speaker 1: how to divide this time, and because they're from different state,

45
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,640
Speaker 1: it makes it a little more difficult because you know,

46
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,160
Speaker 1: outside travel blah blah blah, as well as trying to

47
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:52,800
Speaker 1: get the perfect gift, and I any I have so

48
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,800
Speaker 1: many at sea sites up trying to find the considerate, perfect,

49
00:02:57,160 --> 00:03:00,400
Speaker 1: you know, uh, partner gifts. So I'm like, look already

50
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:04,119
Speaker 1: the best partner for your son. Yeah, whatever, it is stressful.

51
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,560
Speaker 1: It's stressful because it does feel like it's a performance

52
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:12,000
Speaker 1: thing and it shouldn't be. Yeah. Yeah, Hilariously enough, I'm

53
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,720
Speaker 1: reading a fan fiction about all of this, of course

54
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,200
Speaker 1: you are, and it's a Hallmark fan fiction and it's

55
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,000
Speaker 1: about hiring someone to be a bad date, so your

56
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:26,960
Speaker 1: family never you know what that's happening on Netflix and

57
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,799
Speaker 1: all of the holiday lifetime and I know we have those, uh.

58
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,959
Speaker 1: I know you did the episode about Hallmark movies, which

59
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,640
Speaker 1: hinges on top of that typically all the time, and

60
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,120
Speaker 1: I know we need to come back and address it

61
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,880
Speaker 1: because there's now new like influx of having men of

62
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,720
Speaker 1: color as being or indoor a person of color as

63
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,360
Speaker 1: the main hottie. And I'm like that's new or at

64
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:53,200
Speaker 1: least a star. So the small changes are happening. But

65
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,760
Speaker 1: all of that to say, yes, there's a lot of

66
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,280
Speaker 1: stress right now. Annie, I know you've feel a little

67
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,920
Speaker 1: bit stressful because you know, just go home in general

68
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,000
Speaker 1: is stressful. You haven't been feeling too well, so you're like,

69
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:10,000
Speaker 1: oh my god, constantly thinking something's wrong, some things wrong.

70
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,000
Speaker 1: It is all cod I've been there too. I'm like,

71
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,680
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm sick. Oh my god, I I

72
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:18,080
Speaker 1: filled light headed, have COVID no, no, no, But all

73
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:21,960
Speaker 1: of that and yeah, holidays coming around. We've talked about

74
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,440
Speaker 1: the whole issue with if you're a family and you

75
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:28,200
Speaker 1: have totally different belief systems. Yes, my family and I

76
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,360
Speaker 1: have a very different belief system. I'm talking a lot

77
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,240
Speaker 1: of stress um. And one of the things that we've

78
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,159
Speaker 1: talked about previously is just how you actually can't wait

79
00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:38,960
Speaker 1: on you. So we did we want to help you

80
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:43,280
Speaker 1: recognize for this Monday many some of those physical stressors

81
00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:46,599
Speaker 1: that might be saying, hey, you need to take a

82
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:50,800
Speaker 1: step back. Yes, so we do have some physical signs

83
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,000
Speaker 1: of stress um, which you probably already know, but we'll

84
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:57,240
Speaker 1: we'll just go over because sometimes you just have to. Yeah,

85
00:04:57,279 --> 00:04:59,040
Speaker 1: you're you're too far in it and you have to

86
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:02,000
Speaker 1: take that step back be like wait a minute, right,

87
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,720
Speaker 1: I mean I think you and I've talked about like

88
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,719
Speaker 1: I'm tired, and I'm like, oh, that could be stressed.

89
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:10,160
Speaker 1: It could be. I mean, it does impact so much

90
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,880
Speaker 1: of our body. So what one sign is changes administruation.

91
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:17,640
Speaker 1: Another is effects in breathing, which is what I have

92
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:21,799
Speaker 1: been experiencing. One article says stress effects one's breathing. Whether

93
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:25,400
Speaker 1: one begins breathing faster, feeling shortness of breath, or hyperventilating,

94
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:29,120
Speaker 1: the respiratory system goes into overdrive over time. Continued strain

95
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,719
Speaker 1: on the system can make one up more susceptible to

96
00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:35,240
Speaker 1: upper respiratory infections. And you know what, going back to

97
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:38,200
Speaker 1: the administruation, I kind of forgot because I am on

98
00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,960
Speaker 1: and I U D and I don't really have my

99
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,200
Speaker 1: period anymore. It's been a blessing. I love it. I

100
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,839
Speaker 1: don't want it, but I still have some of the

101
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,799
Speaker 1: mood changes. But yeah, that used to be a huge

102
00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:52,240
Speaker 1: factor for me. When I would stress, I would be

103
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:56,760
Speaker 1: all over the place, whether it was um, it lasted longer,

104
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,440
Speaker 1: I was bleeding more, I was bleeding more profusely, and

105
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,800
Speaker 1: I was being moreno gonna lie. I don't miss any

106
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,120
Speaker 1: of that, but I remember those changes and being kind

107
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:08,039
Speaker 1: of scared, especially if you're sexually active. That such a

108
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,080
Speaker 1: gross term, but in general, like if you're doing all

109
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,760
Speaker 1: these things and you don't quite know what's happening, and

110
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,440
Speaker 1: you're like, what's wrong with my body? And me coming

111
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,360
Speaker 1: up on forty one, I'm like, am I, oh my god,

112
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,719
Speaker 1: am I going through menopause already? Stuff like that go

113
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,160
Speaker 1: through my mind and I forget how badly your hormones

114
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,680
Speaker 1: are affected by stress in general, and sometimes those hormones

115
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:35,640
Speaker 1: cause you to stress out more yep, oh, the uterus

116
00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:39,239
Speaker 1: and of course just the overall immune system, which another

117
00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,919
Speaker 1: statement does continue. Stress can leave one more susceptible to

118
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:47,080
Speaker 1: infections and skin conditions such as eggzema, hives, and acne.

119
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,560
Speaker 1: And you know what, I yeah, I remember, like I

120
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,600
Speaker 1: still am having that issue at forty one, like, oh

121
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,360
Speaker 1: my god, my face is all over the place, I'm

122
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,279
Speaker 1: getting pimples here and there, and or like the rashes

123
00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:00,400
Speaker 1: and or I and my eyes are now puffy because

124
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,960
Speaker 1: of the stress and not sleeping as well anymore. I

125
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,200
Speaker 1: feel like or ever anymore the last two years. But yeah,

126
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,720
Speaker 1: just the overall immune systems I talked about can cause,

127
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:13,240
Speaker 1: uh not necessarily be the cause of cancer, but too

128
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,880
Speaker 1: much stress on the body can eventually lead to a

129
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,400
Speaker 1: lot of breakdowns in your immune systems, can cause you

130
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,360
Speaker 1: to be sick constantly, and can lead to things like

131
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:25,320
Speaker 1: that which are autoimmune diseases that stress has a huge

132
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,960
Speaker 1: impact on. So it's kind of that reminder. And for

133
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:32,080
Speaker 1: women when we talk about stress again, we see it

134
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,480
Speaker 1: in such a different manner, and we have it show

135
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,640
Speaker 1: in different manners, whether it is through autoimmune systems or

136
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,960
Speaker 1: those who have uteruses in general can have it in

137
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,720
Speaker 1: a whole different way. And how how it comes out.

138
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,520
Speaker 1: The headaches can be different. Um, as we talked about

139
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,520
Speaker 1: hard conditions, some of the symptoms can be different for

140
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,520
Speaker 1: women rather than men. So all of these things, even

141
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:54,480
Speaker 1: though they sound like, oh yeah, obviously, it's not sometimes obvious,

142
00:07:55,080 --> 00:08:00,960
Speaker 1: you know, including the breathing thing. Um but we're not

143
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,280
Speaker 1: just talking about all of that. Yeah, so there's some

144
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,520
Speaker 1: signs for you. But any I wanted to do a

145
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,760
Speaker 1: personal check in because I feel like we've connected with

146
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,720
Speaker 1: our listeners. They know us so well that I feel

147
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,440
Speaker 1: like they may know before if we like make mention

148
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:30,360
Speaker 1: of something that like, uh, there it is. I just

149
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:31,600
Speaker 1: wanted to ask you a couple of questions. Is do

150
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,080
Speaker 1: check in with you? Do you feel like this year

151
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:38,640
Speaker 1: is different from last year for you? Yes? Yes, Um,

152
00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:41,280
Speaker 1: I feel like so last year I went home for Thanksgiving.

153
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,240
Speaker 1: I think I told the story, but somebody showed up

154
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,160
Speaker 1: that I wasn't anticipating to show up, and I legitimate

155
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:51,120
Speaker 1: I cried. I cried because I was so scared that

156
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,640
Speaker 1: I would infect him with COVID and he would die.

157
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,080
Speaker 1: And I carry a lot of guilt around that because

158
00:08:56,120 --> 00:09:02,040
Speaker 1: it was It's not a reaction I could have anticipated,

159
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,880
Speaker 1: as surprised even me, But it was just a sign

160
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,160
Speaker 1: of how stressed I was and how worried I was

161
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:11,839
Speaker 1: about all of this that I just started crying. UM.

162
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,000
Speaker 1: And then in the following holiday, no one else can

163
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,760
Speaker 1: because my whole family was like, oh my gosh, okay,

164
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,319
Speaker 1: we will not do that again. UM. So this holiday,

165
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,319
Speaker 1: some other people are coming and I feel more comfortable

166
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,480
Speaker 1: with it. We're all vaccinated. UM, but I am still

167
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,440
Speaker 1: anxious about that. And then you know, we've been talking

168
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,680
Speaker 1: about how there's all these the talk about shortages and

169
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:39,079
Speaker 1: um kind of all these things that are impacting making

170
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,760
Speaker 1: the holiday is magical or just even trying to hold

171
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,440
Speaker 1: onto a tradition that you have. So I have I

172
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,280
Speaker 1: have some anxieties around that, and I will say, like,

173
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:49,320
Speaker 1: like Samantha said, I haven't been feeling well, and I

174
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:52,440
Speaker 1: think it is stress. And I think a part of

175
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:57,600
Speaker 1: it is just it is you know, we've been in quarantine.

176
00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:04,559
Speaker 1: They're almost two years at this point, and I think, I, yeah,

177
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:05,920
Speaker 1: I think I'm just tired. And we have a lot

178
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:09,320
Speaker 1: going on, all right, we do, we do, which we'll

179
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:14,760
Speaker 1: talk about in the future future episode perhaps, but I think, yeah,

180
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:18,640
Speaker 1: I'm just like I feel like I can't. I'm always

181
00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:20,640
Speaker 1: thinking I just have to get through this day, which

182
00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:23,760
Speaker 1: is the way. I hate thinking like that, because every

183
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,920
Speaker 1: day is but I keep thinking like I just have

184
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,559
Speaker 1: to get through this, and there's no endpoint insight, like

185
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,560
Speaker 1: the holidays aren't an endpoint. It's just like, well, now

186
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,760
Speaker 1: I have to get through this. And I mean, I

187
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,200
Speaker 1: do have some enjoy I love hanging out with my mom,

188
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,640
Speaker 1: I enjoy spending time with my family. I love the food,

189
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,960
Speaker 1: but there are so many other stressors on top of

190
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,560
Speaker 1: it to make it happen one. But I just also

191
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:49,120
Speaker 1: have like my weird thing with eating and knowing all

192
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,440
Speaker 1: the work that builds up and you're gonna do. So

193
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:55,640
Speaker 1: I think that's about where I am. How about you? Yeah,

194
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:59,960
Speaker 1: so I think I'm with you with last show is

195
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,160
Speaker 1: a little bit more easy because again I chose not

196
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,600
Speaker 1: to go home, but my family understood everybody had COVID.

197
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,000
Speaker 1: There's still like the back and forth with my other

198
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:14,160
Speaker 1: family member of siblings when it comes to vaccinations. So

199
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,960
Speaker 1: h there's a little concerned about that. But it kind

200
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:21,439
Speaker 1: of come to the point that I know I've done

201
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,839
Speaker 1: what I needed to do. As upset as I might

202
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,200
Speaker 1: be if I did get COVID, in the end, I

203
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:29,040
Speaker 1: know that because I am vaccinated, I am at a

204
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:33,719
Speaker 1: lower risk for the severity of COVID, and it makes

205
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,360
Speaker 1: me feel selfish. It's not necessarily selfish, but again that

206
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:39,280
Speaker 1: there's that guilt. I'm like, but which one is better?

207
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,720
Speaker 1: Y'all know how I feel. You refused to do this,

208
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,640
Speaker 1: So if you get sick because of me and I

209
00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:48,600
Speaker 1: didn't realize it, I don't know what to do other

210
00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:52,720
Speaker 1: than you needed to you needed to figure this out

211
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,200
Speaker 1: and I really wish you had. I'm not wishing that

212
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,640
Speaker 1: upon anybody, but that's just the back of my head.

213
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,400
Speaker 1: So I do want to see my family in that

214
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:05,600
Speaker 1: realm of like it's been a while since I've seen them,

215
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:10,320
Speaker 1: and I am maybe too much of a pessimist. Again,

216
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,200
Speaker 1: I hate the holidays. My family knows that I hate Christmas.

217
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,520
Speaker 1: They know everything. They've tried to persuade me to say

218
00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:17,280
Speaker 1: it's good this way, this is so great, and I'm like,

219
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,920
Speaker 1: I just don't like it. I don't like it, and

220
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:24,400
Speaker 1: so just kind of again like you just waiting for

221
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:27,960
Speaker 1: the next marker of what I do have an end time,

222
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,240
Speaker 1: like when this is over, this will feel better in

223
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:35,440
Speaker 1: that level. So there there are things again. The other

224
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:39,440
Speaker 1: part to that is going with his family and seeing them.

225
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:42,480
Speaker 1: I'm excited because they have a great relationship and they

226
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,400
Speaker 1: really get along. I get along with them as well,

227
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,400
Speaker 1: so I feel a little more free with that. But

228
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,800
Speaker 1: it's still We're gonna be driving four or five hours

229
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,960
Speaker 1: and I have a dog and they have dogs, and

230
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,400
Speaker 1: my dogs are jerk with other dogs. So how do

231
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,400
Speaker 1: we keep this aside? You know it always without causing

232
00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,120
Speaker 1: too much stress. I'm one more added person where or

233
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,680
Speaker 1: they didn't have to think about the fact that we

234
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:05,320
Speaker 1: were a couple coming down. Uh, you know, like it's space.

235
00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:08,800
Speaker 1: So there are so many things to that level. I

236
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:13,040
Speaker 1: also feel weird in being in that type of relationship

237
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:16,120
Speaker 1: and being in a relationship in general. This is new

238
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,280
Speaker 1: to me because like I existed in my world, you

239
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,360
Speaker 1: exist in yours. End the story, and now we've come

240
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:27,120
Speaker 1: to the point like, oh, that's not feasible in that

241
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,559
Speaker 1: sort of like trying to meet each other's family and

242
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,480
Speaker 1: trying to give as much attention to the families as

243
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,320
Speaker 1: you know, being shared and all of that to show

244
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,680
Speaker 1: that we care about the other. So that's a whole

245
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,240
Speaker 1: other weird thing that I'm having to experience that I

246
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:48,720
Speaker 1: didn't think I would want or I would do. Yeah. Ever, yeah,

247
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,960
Speaker 1: I mean that's definitely stressful. Like you said, finding the

248
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:57,040
Speaker 1: gift and knowing how to act does feel like a performance. Yeah, yeah,

249
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,920
Speaker 1: the gifting Like I was wrapping all my presence from

250
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:01,800
Speaker 1: mom lest say, and I was like, is this enough?

251
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,839
Speaker 1: Is it? Is it too much? Like you know, you

252
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,839
Speaker 1: go back and forth, right, you do you want to

253
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,640
Speaker 1: buy the perfect one? And then I have my parents

254
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,199
Speaker 1: who just doesn't care like they're like, oh, yeah, I

255
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:13,760
Speaker 1: give us gift cards. It feels so impersonal because especially

256
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:17,480
Speaker 1: when my sister has so much like intel, because they

257
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,440
Speaker 1: do see my parents every day, so though, like they

258
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,200
Speaker 1: know exactly what craft they want from the specialty store

259
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:25,120
Speaker 1: that I've never heard of, and I'm like, there's a

260
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:29,120
Speaker 1: fifty dollar gift card. Happy Christmas. You know, So you

261
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:45,000
Speaker 1: feel like you're competing with people. But anyway, enough of

262
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:48,280
Speaker 1: the complaining, because I have a feeling this is not new,

263
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,600
Speaker 1: as you said, and there's so many of you who

264
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,560
Speaker 1: have dealt with this, so we did want to talk

265
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,800
Speaker 1: a little bit about how to deal with some of this. Yes,

266
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,600
Speaker 1: and one of the key things that I am frankly

267
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,960
Speaker 1: terrible at but I'm working in is balancing your time,

268
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:06,720
Speaker 1: including work and family time, because yeah, I feel like

269
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:10,000
Speaker 1: us we're trying to cram in so much work to

270
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:14,120
Speaker 1: possibly have like some actual time off, which is not

271
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:18,040
Speaker 1: the way you should do it. Yes, um, but that

272
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,920
Speaker 1: doesn't mean we should push ourselves to the point of

273
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:25,160
Speaker 1: a breakdown. And some some possible solutions to that like

274
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:29,040
Speaker 1: learning to delegate, organizing your time and priorities, and remembering

275
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,920
Speaker 1: to set boundaries, which yeah, I think that's huge. Yeah,

276
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,880
Speaker 1: it is, um and if budgeting is something that you

277
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,880
Speaker 1: are struggling with our finances in general, because you know what, Yeah,

278
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,240
Speaker 1: it is a huge one for me and as someone

279
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,480
Speaker 1: who loves giving gifts because I do, that's one of

280
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,520
Speaker 1: my favorite things to do. If I know that person.

281
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,200
Speaker 1: If not a stressful budgeting was not and it's not

282
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,640
Speaker 1: something I'm great at still, but realizing that it is

283
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,640
Speaker 1: a good thing to do and that you need to

284
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:58,880
Speaker 1: know your limits because you're not going to enjoy it afterwards.

285
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,000
Speaker 1: It is stress that it comes with after the fact,

286
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:08,520
Speaker 1: not worth it, not worth it. Another thing is learning

287
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:12,400
Speaker 1: to say no. It's something that caregivers really struggle with

288
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,160
Speaker 1: but um really need to learn to do. It's very

289
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,800
Speaker 1: very key. Also that I think I spoke about this recently.

290
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,520
Speaker 1: This has been a big journey for me. This is

291
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,480
Speaker 1: something I'm working on still. I love that the pandemic

292
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:27,160
Speaker 1: has helped you. Yes, I think it's because we have

293
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:31,160
Speaker 1: an excuse now, but people are more understanding, our group

294
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,640
Speaker 1: of friends are. But still, and I know for those

295
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,360
Speaker 1: of you who have FOMO fear of missing out, it

296
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,960
Speaker 1: can be a hard one and I think it might

297
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,000
Speaker 1: still be you a little bit. I also don't want

298
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,680
Speaker 1: to hurt people's feelings those two things, but it's something

299
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,240
Speaker 1: that can help you slow down and just take some time,

300
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,640
Speaker 1: learn to say no, it's okay. You don't always have

301
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,760
Speaker 1: to be there. Yeah, I'm that person who said no

302
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,320
Speaker 1: so many times people forget me and I'm like, I'm

303
00:16:56,400 --> 00:17:04,320
Speaker 1: leaving me out, but still feel better. Well, speaking of which,

304
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:07,040
Speaker 1: another good one is taking time for yourself. Um. And

305
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:10,119
Speaker 1: we've been very outspoken advocates for self care, so of

306
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,119
Speaker 1: course it's something that we highly recommend. It's important to

307
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,159
Speaker 1: you just be able to go quietly get away from

308
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,840
Speaker 1: the chaos of the holidays. So yeah, we're telling you

309
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,960
Speaker 1: to do it. We recommend that you do it. Um

310
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,320
Speaker 1: Go watch a Staffy movie you love by yourself, or

311
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,040
Speaker 1: her fan fiction about the Saffy movie you've never seen,

312
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,760
Speaker 1: take off, bath, sit in the sun, listen to the

313
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,719
Speaker 1: new Adel album I Love It, um, whatever it is,

314
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,560
Speaker 1: just take some time for yourself, right and even if

315
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,159
Speaker 1: it's that's just fifteen minutes, even if it's five minutes

316
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,520
Speaker 1: so you can breath. I've actually hidden in a bathroom

317
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:46,200
Speaker 1: for five minutes to breed. That's okay. Who do that, um,

318
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:50,280
Speaker 1: and just a reminder, give yourself a break. It's okay

319
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:55,960
Speaker 1: to feel overwhelmed or underwhelmed or just whelmed. Get it, okay,

320
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,760
Speaker 1: don't beat yourself up if you do feel stressed, or

321
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,439
Speaker 1: if you don't feel like slid eating, or if you

322
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:05,400
Speaker 1: love the holidays, don't let the naysayers like me kill

323
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,840
Speaker 1: your spirit. Enjoy it, go full force into it. Listen

324
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,320
Speaker 1: to that Mariah Carey album standing here from the top

325
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,760
Speaker 1: of your lungs. Go ahead and decorate that Christmas tree,

326
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,240
Speaker 1: show off your Christmas tree if it's ready and done.

327
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:21,200
Speaker 1: Show me your pets, pajamas Christmas pajamas. I really I

328
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,399
Speaker 1: want to see them. Actually, it's okay. It's okay to

329
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,560
Speaker 1: enjoy it. It's okay to take a break from it.

330
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:29,080
Speaker 1: It's okay not to enjoy it, and just admit it's

331
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:32,480
Speaker 1: not for you. All of those things are important, and

332
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,040
Speaker 1: of course there are so many other things that you

333
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,879
Speaker 1: could look into to help you, probably a little more

334
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:42,200
Speaker 1: uh nuanced than what we're giving, but yeah, yeah, just

335
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:52,320
Speaker 1: take care of yourself, yes, any specifically you and we've

336
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 1: talked a lot about the stress. We've talked about all

337
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,680
Speaker 1: of this, so I'm gonna end on a happy note

338
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,920
Speaker 1: just in case the more of like y'all calm down

339
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,760
Speaker 1: is it's just two months. Annie. What is one of

340
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 1: your favorite holiday memories? Um? This might surprise you, actually,

341
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:11,160
Speaker 1: but when I was nine years old, I had been

342
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,159
Speaker 1: requesting I've been asking for a dog since I was

343
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 1: four years old, and I kept getting turned down. Um,

344
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,720
Speaker 1: So when I was nine years old, I wrote, I

345
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,239
Speaker 1: made a graph and a chart and I explained how

346
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,440
Speaker 1: I was going to take care of this dog and

347
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,280
Speaker 1: how I was going to pay for the food. And

348
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,760
Speaker 1: it was like a presentation I gave to my whole family.

349
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,639
Speaker 1: And the I came out on Christmas morning. This was

350
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,600
Speaker 1: back when we celebrated at my grandparents house, and there

351
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,879
Speaker 1: was a dog cage there and I ran and I

352
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,800
Speaker 1: was so excited. I looked in and if we have

353
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,239
Speaker 1: is on VHS, so it lives forever all the way.

354
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:45,880
Speaker 1: I don't have a VCR to play it. But there

355
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,679
Speaker 1: was no dog. And you can tell I'm visibly like

356
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,600
Speaker 1: trying and keep it together because I thought they'd given

357
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 1: me the cage but not the dog. So then I

358
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,920
Speaker 1: go and I start unwrapping gifts and I'm like, clearly

359
00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:00,880
Speaker 1: like don't cry, don't cry. And the dog, my old

360
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,359
Speaker 1: puffy Dizzy. She came up behind me and started licking

361
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:09,520
Speaker 1: my face and it was so happy. I am very surprised.

362
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,439
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I loved it. I loved her. She was

363
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:17,240
Speaker 1: so cute. All yeah. So for me, I think it

364
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 1: may have been my first Christmas. Essentially, when I moved

365
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 1: to the US, never had Christmas, not a thing. I

366
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,879
Speaker 1: don't have Santa Claus. I really like lived in an

367
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,400
Speaker 1: orphanage for a while, so obviously everything that was handed

368
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 1: out was not necessarily like Merry Christmas. Here's the whole thing.

369
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,000
Speaker 1: Waking up. My brother was more excited than I was,

370
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 1: because I was thoroughly confused about what was happening. But

371
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,640
Speaker 1: he was very excited for me. So he and Ore

372
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,679
Speaker 1: did this is the younger brother, and here and now

373
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,360
Speaker 1: are about seven months apart, so he was still really

374
00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:49,240
Speaker 1: into it. And I was seven. He was seven, and uh,

375
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 1: he was so excited that we and my sister is

376
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:56,239
Speaker 1: also my sister was there and she's a traditionalist, so

377
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,120
Speaker 1: she has all kinds of rituals. She is the one

378
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,719
Speaker 1: who is probably the most sentimental of our family. So

379
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,280
Speaker 1: we had to all line up in the order of

380
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,400
Speaker 1: the oldest to youngest going down the stairs, and everybody

381
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,440
Speaker 1: had to work on the tree. I'm half asleep trying

382
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 1: to figure out what the hell is happening, because I'm

383
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 1: like what what uh? And seeing all these presents around

384
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 1: and then having them like the night before, talking about

385
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,120
Speaker 1: trying to figure out what was happening, because it still

386
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,160
Speaker 1: my English is not great at this point, but setting

387
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:26,280
Speaker 1: out Christmas cookies, my dad went all out with the

388
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:30,679
Speaker 1: jingle bells outside and us all matching pajamas like it

389
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 1: it was a thing. And having these beautifully homemade stockings

390
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 1: put up, and being able to sit with a family

391
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:39,680
Speaker 1: for the first time and getting toys that was gifted

392
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 1: to me and only me was unusual. It was something new, newer, obviously,

393
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,560
Speaker 1: like I've been given things as I had come to

394
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,320
Speaker 1: the US, but the fact that I was having a

395
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 1: moment where it felt familiar but new and promising, and

396
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 1: it was a really nice, little, very small tidbit of

397
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 1: a memory that I do remember about Christmas and really enjoying.

398
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,120
Speaker 1: We had to do the whole Christmas Eve. You get

399
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,120
Speaker 1: one gift and we all open a gift the next day.

400
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:14,120
Speaker 1: Everybody takes turns opening gifts and it was a lovely memory.

401
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 1: M yeah, that does sound lovely. Um. Yeah. So we

402
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 1: hope listeners that whatever you're celebrating or not celebrating, that

403
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 1: you're taking care of yourself, You're taking time for yourself.

404
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 1: We we love having you as part of our seminty community. Um.

405
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 1: And if you are celebrating, like yeah, hold onto those

406
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 1: like happy moments and then enjoy them and and share

407
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 1: them with us if you would like, Yes, you can

408
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 1: email that stuff and your mom stuff at iHeart media

409
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 1: dot com. You can find us on Twitter at mom

410
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,119
Speaker 1: Stuff Podcasts, or Instagram and Stuff I've Never Told You.

411
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 1: Thanks as always your super producer, Christina, thank you and

412
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,159
Speaker 1: thanks to you for listening. Stuff One Ever Told You

413
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio. For more podcast on I

414
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 1: Heart Radio, visit the heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or

415
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite show. H