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Speaker 1: What's up is way up at Angela Yee and it

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Speaker 1: is a Wealth Wednesday, and this is gonna be a

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Speaker 1: really special one for us today. I got my partner

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Speaker 1: Stacy Tisdaye here.

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Speaker 2: Happy Wealth Wednesdays, everybody, and hold on to your seats,

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Speaker 2: your seat belt, your feet, and your.

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Speaker 1: Shoes and put your seat up nice and high for

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Speaker 1: this one if you can.

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Speaker 2: We are so thrilled to have the one and only

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Speaker 2: Caroline Wanga. You may know her as the CEO of

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Speaker 2: Essen's Ventures, but we want to tell you she is

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Speaker 2: also the author of I'm Highly percent Sure and after

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Speaker 2: a fifteen year career at Targets, starting as an intern,

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Speaker 2: working her way to the C suite, which came after

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Speaker 2: doing a lot of community service and nonprofit work in Minnesota,

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Speaker 2: she is here to tell us how that.

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Speaker 3: All happened and they found women.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna go way up. We're gonna go way up.

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Speaker 5: Excited to be here.

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Speaker 4: Was like home when we.

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Speaker 2: Talk about all that, starting in Minnesota, starting in Africa,

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Speaker 2: all of those things which we're gonna take a deep

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Speaker 2: dive into a lot of people tried to do what

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Speaker 2: you have done. They started out as immigrants.

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Speaker 3: What have you?

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Speaker 2: They set their career path and set their sights on

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Speaker 2: the C suite, didn't quite get there. What is your secret, sauce,

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Speaker 2: What is it about Caroline that made you do what

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Speaker 2: so many people tried to do?

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Speaker 5: We can't do. So here's where I'll start. Thank you

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Speaker 5: for giving me credit for having foresight, but I didn't.

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Speaker 5: So the people who have this plan to be in

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Speaker 5: the C suite and to make that rise are already

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Speaker 5: thirty two steps of more head than I was.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 5: And so I think a lot of times, when people

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Speaker 5: look at your life story, especially when you write something

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Speaker 5: like a memoir, they can mistakenly believe you were as

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Speaker 5: enlightened then as you are now as you reflect on it.

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Speaker 5: And one of the things I'm passionate about on my

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Speaker 5: work with authenticity is I'm gonna tell you the story

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Speaker 5: the way it happened, because if I give you the

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Speaker 5: cleaned up version and it doesn't match where you are

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Speaker 5: feeling at that stage, you will dismiss thinking it's possible

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Speaker 5: for you. So myth bus number one, it wasn't all

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Speaker 5: that clear. So if you already have a plan to

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Speaker 5: be there, you're ahead of where I am. But the

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Speaker 5: second part of your question, which is the magic or

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Speaker 5: the secret sauce, I would say, you know, the book

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Speaker 5: has four core pillars. One of those is ancestry is anger.

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Speaker 5: And I have talked many times about the household I

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Speaker 5: grew up in, my daddy that was disappointed that I

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Speaker 5: wasn't president, and all.

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Speaker 4: Of these things.

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Speaker 5: But I would tell you that the propellant for this

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Speaker 5: idea of not having a plan to get to those

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Speaker 5: places but ending up in a lot of those places

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Speaker 5: was based in living in a household and existing within

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Speaker 5: a family that literally believed there was nothing I could

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Speaker 5: not do, literally believe there was nothing I had to

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Speaker 5: go get to do what I want to, literally believed

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Speaker 5: I can wake up in the morning and be anything.

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Speaker 5: And I think that that is really the anchoring that,

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Speaker 5: even when I didn't know I needed it, never had

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Speaker 5: me afraid to do it scared because I never heard

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Speaker 5: it narrative of a deficit in what I had his skills,

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Speaker 5: what I had as dreams, and so I didn't feel

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Speaker 5: as pressured to always know exactly what's next. I felt

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Speaker 5: confident that whatever I choose to do next, I'm gonna

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Speaker 5: kill it, and when I'm done with that, I'll kill

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Speaker 5: the next thing, and I think that is for me.

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Speaker 5: What I would say is what created that, the courage

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Speaker 5: and the anchoring to have.

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Speaker 4: A squiggle career path, because that's.

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Speaker 5: What mine looks like. But I would commend people that

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Speaker 5: have the foresight to know what they want to do

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Speaker 5: to not dismiss that and still have that be a

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Speaker 5: part of your plan. But mine was propelled by the

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Speaker 5: story of how great I am filled in our household,

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Speaker 5: which prevented me from being afraid to do every new thing.

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Speaker 5: And even if I was afraid, I did it anyway

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Speaker 5: because I was told that I had everything within me

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Speaker 5: to do whatever I want.

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Speaker 2: I want to say with that for just a moment,

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Speaker 2: because in your book you said you left Kenya were

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Speaker 2: you nine ten ten?

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Speaker 4: Sorry ten?

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Speaker 2: And you had been quote operating completely believing that you

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Speaker 2: just needed to pick what you wanted to do and

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Speaker 2: you wouldn't be able to do it, and that totally

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Speaker 2: unraveled when you moved to the United States. Minnesota unpacked, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Minnesota, Minnesotannnesota, Rockville.

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Speaker 5: I will be on a couch for the rest of

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Speaker 5: my life for that move right there, started at the

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Speaker 5: equator and ended up in Antarctica.

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Speaker 4: But that's a separate session.

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Speaker 5: Here's what I would tell you, right, I you know,

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Speaker 5: I joke off and I say, you know, I came

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Speaker 5: from a place where everybody looked like me, right, the pastor,

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Speaker 5: the president, the prostitute, the policeman.

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Speaker 4: Everybody looked like me.

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Speaker 5: So the idea of what I looked like was not

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Speaker 5: an understood barrier to something.

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Speaker 4: Right. Now, we got otherisms like tribalism and.

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Speaker 5: Other things that create that, but that at the age

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Speaker 5: of ten, you just don't have the capacity to think

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Speaker 5: that way. And so the idea of what I looked

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Speaker 5: like had not been entered into my psyche as something

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Speaker 5: to be careful about or be aware about. The talk

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Speaker 5: didn't happen in the same way with me. But because

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Speaker 5: the transition happened when I was ten. While I knew

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Speaker 5: that to be true about my.

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Speaker 4: Household, I didn't know it was like a philosophy for thinking. Right.

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Speaker 5: So then we come over here to this place called

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Speaker 5: the United States, and we end up in a place

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Speaker 5: called Minnesota. My dad came to the US to do

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Speaker 5: his PhD. And I'm here, like I thought the middle

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Speaker 5: finger meant I love you, And I'm getting called these

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Speaker 5: names and I'm five eight. At the age of eleven,

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Speaker 5: I have a deep voice, and my lunch smelled different, right,

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Speaker 5: And I'm not sure.

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Speaker 4: If these are jabou jeans are from Goodwill? Right, like

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Speaker 4: all of this stuff.

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Speaker 5: First of all, junior high, everybody just deserve a prize

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Speaker 5: for making it. But then to be dark and different

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Speaker 5: and a deep voiced girl and not be fashionable and

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Speaker 5: not have a ton of means. And my lunch smells

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Speaker 5: funny because my parents aren't going to pay the school.

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Speaker 5: They want me to eat Kenyan food. Right, I'm five eight.

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Speaker 5: I don't really have a community. I'm joining a group

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Speaker 5: of folks that have been going to school together since

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Speaker 5: they were in kindergarten.

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Speaker 4: Right, And so at ten.

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Speaker 5: You choose to survive every day because having parents who always.

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Speaker 2: Thought they don't they don't always relate it.

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Speaker 4: I grew up in a similar It's not even relate

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Speaker 4: like I would come home sad, you know.

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Speaker 5: And if you know how to coach a child in

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Speaker 5: junior high, black, honey, I know it's hard, but you'll

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Speaker 5: make it.

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Speaker 4: You'll be stronger later. My parents are like, why do

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Speaker 4: you care about what she said?

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Speaker 5: And it wasn't about not recognizing where I was in

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Speaker 5: a child. It was also their transition into understanding a

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Speaker 5: different set of barriers that came up been here.

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Speaker 4: Because they didn't do junior high.

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Speaker 5: They didn't write, and in my country, education liberates you

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Speaker 5: from everything, and so they didn't necessarily at the time,

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Speaker 5: nor did I know how to help me process junior high.

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Speaker 5: They just kept driving the mantra that I has been true, like, girl,

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Speaker 5: you can.

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Speaker 4: Get over it.

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Speaker 5: Well, you had ten years old, not on that boy

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Speaker 5: to cust me out one more time.

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Speaker 4: It wasn't interested in all this stuff they started to take.

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Speaker 4: I started to get rid of it.

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Speaker 5: I worked really hard to lose my accent. The last

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Speaker 5: word I figured out how to say without an accent.

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Speaker 4: Was the word purple.

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Speaker 5: And I would not say that word for two years

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Speaker 5: because I couldn't.

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Speaker 4: Get rid of it.

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Speaker 5: But I worked to lose my accent. I wore shoes

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Speaker 5: that were too small because size ten feet at the

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Speaker 5: age of ten aren't cutes, right, like you're wearing easy

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Speaker 5: spirit and stuff your mama bought right. I diminished my intelligence.

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Speaker 5: I actually skipped the fifth grade when I came coming

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Speaker 5: right based on the way.

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Speaker 4: That seems are I didn't I used to try to

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Speaker 4: get a C.

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Speaker 5: Instead of an A because anything I did, because I

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Speaker 5: was different and it was junior high, attracted negative energy

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Speaker 5: normally junior high haterism. But it also created a place

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Speaker 5: where I didn't hear enough about what was good about

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Speaker 5: me in that space, So everything became bad. And in Rosville, Minnesota,

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Speaker 5: there's like two and a half people that look like me,

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Speaker 5: and everybody else's like, girl, what are you mad about?

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Speaker 5: And so it started a long journey that's had many

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Speaker 5: parts of making myself small, but it.

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Speaker 4: Was a tactic of survival.

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Speaker 5: But it was a conflict that came with the household

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Speaker 5: that I was raised in to do anything that I

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Speaker 5: believed in, and then being in a place where the

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Speaker 5: guidance my parents continued to give me was not creating

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Speaker 5: a good experience in a critical stage of life and

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Speaker 5: adolescence in a brand new place with none of this diversity,

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Speaker 5: inclusion and recognize other people's stuff in it, It was

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Speaker 5: straight like, you are weird, and we're going to make

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Speaker 5: sure you know how weird you are. And I wasn't black,

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Speaker 5: I wasn't white. I was just immigrant, right, and I

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Speaker 5: didn't attend how am I supposed.

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Speaker 4: To know what to do.

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Speaker 1: You know, imagine students that go through that and don't

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Speaker 1: have the parents at home that are supportive of them,

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Speaker 1: and the background that you had, and knowing who you are,

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Speaker 1: how difficult that is. It makes me think about another situation.

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Speaker 3: Recently.

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Speaker 1: Kalis was talking about homeschooling and how she's homeschooling her

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Speaker 1: children because she doesn't want them, she doesn't like the

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Speaker 1: education system, and she's using like AI teachers and things

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Speaker 1: like that.

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Speaker 5: You know, I think it's fascinating. And you know you said,

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Speaker 5: you said, it must have been nice to have that

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Speaker 5: in my household, and I would tell you again trying

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Speaker 5: to talk about it. When I was ten, it most

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Speaker 5: certainly was something that drove really heavily when we were

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Speaker 5: in Kenyra. It didn't play out here, but the other

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Speaker 5: side I would give because I always want to make

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Speaker 5: sure people understand I'm not saying one thing was better

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Speaker 5: than another. What ended up happening is the couple of

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Speaker 5: friends I had, you know, I would go to their

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Speaker 5: house for sleepovers whatever. You know, you have your junior

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Speaker 5: high friends, and those parents saw what was happening because

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Speaker 5: they were raised in the US. They know junior hi

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Speaker 5: is just the gauntlettle life and everybody gets made fun of.

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Speaker 5: So what became really interesting was how the parenting of

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Speaker 5: the few friends that I had that I went to

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Speaker 5: their house to feel safe. Most of them were white. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: like again I was not coordinating this, but like the

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Speaker 5: way that they stepped in to fill the gap because

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Speaker 5: my parents did it.

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Speaker 4: Things great.

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Speaker 5: This is not a bashing of my parents. It's just

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Speaker 5: what happens when you transition environments. And they never made

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Speaker 5: it feel anything. They didn't go talk to my parents

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Speaker 5: just when I could come over, like I would get

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Speaker 5: permission to process parenting that took into account what junior

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Speaker 5: high is.

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Speaker 4: And half the time I was like, boys are stupid.

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Speaker 5: Girl, You'll be fine, right, But just somebody who seemed

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Speaker 5: to have empathy for what I was in dissonance about

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Speaker 5: was so valuable. And again I believe that it's about

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Speaker 5: a village, right, And there were so many people that

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Speaker 5: played a role and collectively, and I talk about myself

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Speaker 5: this the time. I am exactly what happens when a

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Speaker 5: community decides to birth, build, and bequeath somebody to the world.

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Speaker 4: I was built by and continue to be.

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Speaker 5: Villages and communities of people that collectively offered what they

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Speaker 5: had to help me be the best human I can be.

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Speaker 5: And even back at ten years old, going to other friends'

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Speaker 5: houses whose parents understood junior high helped to supplement what

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Speaker 5: my parents were continuing to offer me.

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Speaker 1: You know what I realized too, when you're growing up,

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Speaker 1: sports also can be something. Yes, that is a great

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Speaker 1: equalizer for people to be like the camaraderie that you

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Speaker 1: fail because I grew up not as athletic as you were,

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Speaker 1: but I did grow.

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Speaker 4: Up playing What did you play?

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Speaker 1: I played field hockey, I ran track also, and I

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Speaker 1: played basketball. Yeah, so you had the mast because you

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Speaker 1: know you're taller than I am.

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Speaker 3: Don't do that.

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Speaker 4: Wait, sitting here.

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Speaker 2: With these two talking about basket playing basketball.

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Speaker 4: We have a hyrd.

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Speaker 5: Okay, So this is so dope, right, because here's why

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Speaker 5: this is super dope.

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Speaker 4: Here's why this is super dope.

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Speaker 5: Right. What you said is absolutely true. In junior At

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Speaker 5: the end of my junior high I went to like

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Speaker 5: a middle school, so ninth grade was the oldest in

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Speaker 5: the high school started tenth grade. So by ninth grade,

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Speaker 5: every like I started to run track and field. Now

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Speaker 5: the real story is they thought I was a marathon

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Speaker 5: runner because I'm Kenyon and I was a sprinter. It

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Speaker 5: took him a minute to figure that out. But it's

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Speaker 5: actually Kenyon's from a particular tribe that are marathoners. But

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Speaker 5: I did do really well in track and field, and

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Speaker 5: I started to run for the high school while I

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Speaker 5: was still in junior high And to your point, an

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Speaker 5: environment where competitiveness brings bonds and you just get this

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Speaker 5: adrenaline rush for winning like it does, like it anchors you.

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Speaker 5: It becomes your world. And I would say that sports

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Speaker 5: saved my life in that season definitely, because for me,

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Speaker 5: I was finding something I was good at.

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Speaker 4: And when you're good at something like.

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Speaker 5: That, especially in the US educational system, I love the job, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 5: whatever you want extra launch.

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Speaker 4: You ain't got to be the class all time. It

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Speaker 4: passed to be in the hall like it. Just the

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Speaker 4: way that good athletes are.

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Speaker 5: Treated in the educational system is very uplifting. It can

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Speaker 5: be unhealthy, but for me it was such a healthy

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Speaker 5: way to find my place, and so I became really

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Speaker 5: excited about the sports arena and what.

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Speaker 4: It did for me.

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Speaker 5: I could bring my intelligence back because now I can

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Speaker 5: tell people I'm just trying to keep playing ball versus

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Speaker 5: I'm just thinking I'm smart. Well, volleyball and track became

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Speaker 5: my sport. So track is what I was in a lot.

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Speaker 5: I was gonna be Jackie Joyner Kursy, google it all

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Speaker 5: the young'ins, but I was. I wanted to be an

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Speaker 5: Olympic captathlon because of how many track events I did.

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Speaker 5: Volleyball came as a result, like in the tenth like

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Speaker 5: you're talking, you jump, put your hands up, Okay, we

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Speaker 5: don't do some with you. And I actually ended up

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Speaker 5: enjoying volleyball because track is such an individual sport.

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Speaker 4: Volleyball was a team team.

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Speaker 5: And then the madness happened, which is my junior year

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Speaker 5: of high school. My track coach and my volleyball coach.

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Speaker 4: Ganged up on me.

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Speaker 5: They did and they said, you're gonna do basketball in

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Speaker 5: the winter and I said absolutely not. They were like,

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Speaker 5: you need conditioning in the winter. I said, I will

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Speaker 5: go swim and get my hair done every week before

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Speaker 5: I do basketball. I didn't win that fight, and they

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Speaker 5: threatened the other two sports to not do it. So

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Speaker 5: imagine you're five to eleven in an urban part of

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Speaker 5: the Twin Cities.

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Speaker 4: I was in the Minneapolis at that time. So those

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Speaker 4: lots of black.

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Speaker 5: Folks and you are a starting center for a varsity

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Speaker 5: basketball team and you have never played basketball before. Wow out,

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Speaker 5: this is like a seven high school competitive advantage, where

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Speaker 5: like this is very competitive basketball at I am a

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Speaker 5: junior who has never played basketball, I'm on varsity and

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Speaker 5: I'm a starting center.

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Speaker 4: When I tell you, I hate basketball to this day.

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Speaker 5: Because of this, because them big old girls was in

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Speaker 5: the pub off my spleen.

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Speaker 4: You had his damn ball.

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Speaker 5: Because like literally, I'd been forced to do it by

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Speaker 5: my other two coaches.

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Speaker 4: The height was there, the natural athleticism was there.

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Speaker 5: The sport was not.

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Speaker 4: Of interest to me.

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Speaker 5: It was way too late to be a varsity starter

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Speaker 5: that nobody had heard about. I was known in volleyball

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Speaker 5: and track. Then you got these school ribberies where even

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Speaker 5: the cheerleaders was like, bro, what you're supposed to be

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Speaker 5: like everybody? And so I'm over here like I'm only

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Speaker 5: coming to do two things, rebound and jump balls. Don't

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Speaker 5: you ask me to do another thing? And so like

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Speaker 5: literally i'd be on the court point got a parson

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Speaker 5: to the ball. I'm like, can't get to.

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Speaker 4: The basket here?

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Speaker 5: You go, and it literally became this place where I

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Speaker 5: did it because I was forced to. I hated every

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Speaker 5: minute of it because I wasn't good. Everybody thought I

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Speaker 5: was good and then big girls in the paint and

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Speaker 5: they sharp elbows are no good. And I played for

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Speaker 5: two years and to this day I hate basketball, not

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Speaker 5: watching it, but like it was the one sports experience

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Speaker 5: for I was like this thing, y'all can keep this,

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Speaker 5: but it's the one sport everybody thought I played.

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Speaker 4: Because what was your rival's name?

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Speaker 2: Who you also ended up?

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Speaker 3: Porcupine?

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Speaker 2: Miss Porcupine. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 5: Look the whole language, I've been working really hard to

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Speaker 5: not say her name.

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Speaker 4: Her name is Porcupine for a reason. It is the visual.

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Speaker 5: It is the visual representation of how she felt to

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Speaker 5: me in that season. But the story about Porcupine is

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Speaker 5: really important because I talked to you guys about my

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Speaker 5: transition to the US and and what what that came

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Speaker 5: with us. I was figuring it out, which.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna have you back for a whole other episode

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Speaker 2: on racial isolation.

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Speaker 5: Yes, but but what happened is the sports got me

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Speaker 5: out of that kind of isolation. I was feeling really

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Speaker 5: good by the time I got to high school. In

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Speaker 5: the three sports, her and I were often paired together

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Speaker 5: in practice because we were a similar height. She did

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Speaker 5: she did a different sport in the spring than me,

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Speaker 5: but we did all.

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Speaker 4: The gold and basketball together.

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Speaker 5: And and the way that this person were just like,

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Speaker 5: you know how people are meeting to each other, right,

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Speaker 5: But I'm like, we at practice, why are you picking

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Speaker 5: your belly button and putting stuff on me? Girl didn't

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Speaker 5: like it was just these shenanigans related.

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Speaker 4: To high school. But it was in this place where

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Speaker 4: I'm like, why, I don't even like you?

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Speaker 5: But we had to be together because we're there, And

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Speaker 5: then we became compared to each other because we were

377
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Speaker 5: both smart, we were both athletic, right, and again, I

378
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:23,720
Speaker 5: have no desire to be compared to you.

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Speaker 4: Give her whatever.

380
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Speaker 5: Prize you want, But for her, it was perpetuating. And

381
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Speaker 5: so she would start to say, I'm going to Harvard

382
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Speaker 5: and you're not. That's the kind of stuff you say

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Speaker 5: it plastic like.

384
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Speaker 4: She was like, no.

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Speaker 5: Matter how good we are together, you're never gonna get

386
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Speaker 5: to where I'm gonna get. And as much as I

387
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Speaker 5: can lie to you until y'all was enlightened, and like, oh,

388
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Speaker 5: you're just a messed up person with low self esteem. No.

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Speaker 4: I believed every word she said. So guess what.

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Speaker 5: We graduate from high school and we end up at

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Speaker 5: the same college.

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Speaker 4: It wasn't.

393
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Speaker 5: Me.

394
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Speaker 4: I'm sitting up straight feathers.

395
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Speaker 5: Cock like, hey, you want to class together, right, Guess

396
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Speaker 5: what happens because I'm talking smack now right, and she's

397
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Speaker 5: humbled a little bit.

398
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Speaker 4: Guess what happened.

399
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Speaker 5: I get pregnant my first semester in college. If you

400
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Speaker 5: don't think she returned some of that snart back to me,

401
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,000
Speaker 5: like I told you wasn't nothing. I knew you weren't

402
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Speaker 5: going to stay long. And I will tell you that

403
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Speaker 5: from the moment that I became a parent because I

404
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,240
Speaker 5: dropped out of college, from the moment I became a parent,

405
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Speaker 5: for two decades, the idea that her and who she

406
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Speaker 5: is and what she represented and what the moment that

407
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Speaker 5: I had a child did held me captive for twenty years.

408
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,080
Speaker 5: I would go look at you know, there's LinkedIn now,

409
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,880
Speaker 5: but there's other things that I would go look at

410
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:38,640
Speaker 5: what job she had over the course of those years,

411
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Speaker 5: to see if she had a better job than me.

412
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Speaker 5: Like that psychological burden of what she told me I

413
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:46,080
Speaker 5: couldn't do as just a part of high school banter,

414
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Speaker 5: but she meant it. And then when I got pregnant,

415
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 5: she amplified it, even not just to me from a

416
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Speaker 5: rumor mail perspective, because again we both went to the

417
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,160
Speaker 5: same college with the same track scholarship or the same

418
00:16:56,280 --> 00:17:00,200
Speaker 5: sports scholarship. And for twenty years, that moment in which

419
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:04,119
Speaker 5: I had my daughter was one thing. She became the

420
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Speaker 5: person who I was obsessed and competing with in a

421
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,080
Speaker 5: really weird way for twenty years, and I would go

422
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Speaker 5: back and look at what job she had and what

423
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:16,200
Speaker 5: that created was At the age of thirty six years old,

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Speaker 5: I didn't realize I was sitting at the top of

425
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Speaker 5: a fortune fifty company that very few people get to

426
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:22,199
Speaker 5: do in the c suite. I didn't even see that

427
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,439
Speaker 5: person I'm talking about some people don't get to do.

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Speaker 4: Forget black and get girl, forget imp.

429
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Speaker 5: Yeah, I couldn't see it because I kept going back

430
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Speaker 5: to see.

431
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Speaker 4: If she had a job.

432
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Speaker 5: And I was at a development conference where one of

433
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,920
Speaker 5: the counselors just grabbed me, and at the end of

434
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,560
Speaker 5: the day, I was still seventeen years old in my

435
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:37,560
Speaker 5: mind at thirty six.

436
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,080
Speaker 2: What do you tell people who get stuck in their

437
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,040
Speaker 2: with their inner porcupine.

438
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Speaker 4: I don't tell them anything.

439
00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:45,919
Speaker 5: What I offered them is a story of how I

440
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,320
Speaker 5: got through mine, which was this facilitator at this development commence.

441
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 5: I'm telling you it happened for twenty years. I didn't

442
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:52,760
Speaker 5: know what was happening in these twenty years, right Like,

443
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,640
Speaker 5: that's the reflection of why I made myself even smaller

444
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,800
Speaker 5: for those twenty years, Right like, I literally was doing

445
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,960
Speaker 5: it thinking it was the right thing. I didn't realize

446
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,600
Speaker 5: myself to be in some sort of deficit. I was like,

447
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,680
Speaker 5: I'm now just Cadence's mom. I have no hobbies, I

448
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,640
Speaker 5: know whatever. I work in corporate and what is porcupine

449
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,040
Speaker 5: and doing? Because I got to make sure my job.

450
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,320
Speaker 4: Is better than her. She ain't even think about me.

451
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:16,119
Speaker 5: But at this development conference that I was at for work,

452
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,879
Speaker 5: because high potential folks are put in it, I was

453
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,160
Speaker 5: having like this emotional moment. It was one of those

454
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,280
Speaker 5: things where people are asked to give anonymous feedback on you,

455
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,040
Speaker 5: and everybody get courageous and start writing stuff.

456
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:26,119
Speaker 2: Now.

457
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:27,159
Speaker 4: I didn't want to tell you at work, and I

458
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,200
Speaker 4: was like, I know that's Linda.

459
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:32,199
Speaker 5: But I was sitting here reading my report and the

460
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,560
Speaker 5: facilitator saw me, and I was just starting to get emotion.

461
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,879
Speaker 5: I was like, don't be kind over Linda, and so

462
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,720
Speaker 5: he pulled me outside and I was like, leave me alone,

463
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:39,720
Speaker 5: do not start to assess me.

464
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:40,439
Speaker 4: I'm not interested.

465
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,760
Speaker 5: And he finally got me talking and what he realized

466
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,399
Speaker 5: and then gave me a task, which is the answer

467
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,920
Speaker 5: to your question, and goes, Caroline, you're still seventeen years old.

468
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,399
Speaker 5: He's like, you are a thirty six year old black

469
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:52,680
Speaker 5: woman at the top of one of the biggest companies

470
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:53,320
Speaker 5: in the world.

471
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,640
Speaker 4: Most people don't get to that level, and you over

472
00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,360
Speaker 4: here mad about hut. And he didn't say it that mean,

473
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 4: but that's what intent was.

474
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,520
Speaker 5: But he recognized enough of how much it actually was

475
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,200
Speaker 5: not about me, knowing it really was a real thing

476
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,399
Speaker 5: for me to give me an exercise that didn't demean me,

477
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,679
Speaker 5: but that helped me grow. And it was something super

478
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:16,919
Speaker 5: simple psychological birthdays. So what he gave me as a

479
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:21,360
Speaker 5: task was, Caroline, my only goal for you is for

480
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 5: your seventeen year old brain to.

481
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,800
Speaker 4: Catch up with your thirty six year old life.

482
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,360
Speaker 5: And he said, I'm not gonna be able to stop

483
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,320
Speaker 5: you from going to look up porcupine, but you should stop.

484
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,080
Speaker 4: But I can't stop you.

485
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,240
Speaker 5: I said, well, here's what I can do. Anytime something

486
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:36,040
Speaker 5: happens in your day, in your life that you're really

487
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,400
Speaker 5: excited about, you get to celebrate a birthday. You don't

488
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,760
Speaker 5: have to consult anybody about your birthday, you don't have

489
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:42,200
Speaker 5: to say anything, and.

490
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,520
Speaker 4: You get to decide what is birthday worthy.

491
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,440
Speaker 5: And so what that created was like little moments where

492
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 5: like maybe I have avoid my boss being mad at Dad,

493
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,840
Speaker 5: and I'm like, come on, PowerPoint, it's our birthday. Like literally,

494
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,720
Speaker 5: I just got to have these celebrations by my celebrating

495
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,359
Speaker 5: every psychological birthday. I remember I was sitting with my

496
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 5: niece at my daughter's graduation NYU, which was a birthday

497
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:01,639
Speaker 5: for me.

498
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,360
Speaker 4: Right, So she went to NYU and graduate the degreen engineering.

499
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 5: Everybody's there and I was sitting with my niece Io,

500
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 5: who's a crazy eighty one year old woman but she

501
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 5: was five, and she's sitting on my lap and I'm

502
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 5: having this emotional moment because I'm watching my daughter walk

503
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,160
Speaker 5: across the stage at NYU with a degree in engineering.

504
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,479
Speaker 4: When we were not supposed to make it.

505
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:22,119
Speaker 5: For some odd reason, I start humming happy birthday, right,

506
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,919
Speaker 5: and nobody can really hear it, but like, I'm humming

507
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:25,199
Speaker 5: it right.

508
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,000
Speaker 4: So I'm sitting in.

509
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:29,679
Speaker 5: This moment and my niece Io, who is eight but

510
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 5: eighty one, she literally just starts singing with me. She

511
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:37,399
Speaker 5: doesn't ask me any questions, she just starts to sing

512
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 5: so like, and I just keep humming and she's singing

513
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,800
Speaker 5: like this is Io and Auntie having this moment. And

514
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,359
Speaker 5: so when we were done, she turned around.

515
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:46,200
Speaker 4: She was on my left.

516
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 5: She goes, Auntie, Caroline, I didn't know it was your

517
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,440
Speaker 5: birthday today, I said, you know what, Io, I didn't either.

518
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 5: And the beauty of an innocent eight year old sincerely

519
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:58,440
Speaker 5: believing it's your birthday and joining you in a celebration

520
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,919
Speaker 5: even though she didn't know if it was were just

521
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 5: the poignant.

522
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,639
Speaker 4: Moments that kept me in that exercise.

523
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,879
Speaker 5: And so that's just kind of what I lived, and

524
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,440
Speaker 5: slowly but surely I continue to chip away at where

525
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 5: my psychological age was so far behind my chronological age

526
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:15,440
Speaker 5: and stage in life.

527
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,440
Speaker 4: And that is the exercise, even to this.

528
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 5: Day, that celebrating your only catch up and the fact

529
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 5: that I don't have to share it with anybody. I

530
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 5: don't have to get anybody else's validation. Is what's most

531
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,360
Speaker 5: liberating because I get to make the ultimate. Some days,

532
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:28,880
Speaker 5: I want to ate a cupcake at the grocery store

533
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 5: of midnight, and I didn't ask questions.

534
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,119
Speaker 4: I was like, here're your five out. I was I'm

535
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 4: gonna eat it right here.

536
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 3: I found something to celebrate.

537
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 5: The thought that I was given the power to decide

538
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 5: what was worth celebrating, and once I did a celebration,

539
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 5: I was given permission to go a year older is

540
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,919
Speaker 5: the exercise that saved my life. I'm not all the

541
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 5: way lined up, but I'm better than I was.

542
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 4: Your high percent sure, I am highly percent sure. I'm

543
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,639
Speaker 4: not where I was, and I'm getting to where I

544
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:51,879
Speaker 4: want to.

545
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:53,800
Speaker 1: You know what I wanted to ask you as we

546
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,879
Speaker 1: flash back to when you found out you were pregnant

547
00:21:55,880 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 1: with Cadence and your father was really not speaking to you.

548
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,399
Speaker 1: It was a disappointment in the family. And is this

549
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 1: something that you guys have since had a conversation about,

550
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,719
Speaker 1: or just even realizing how much that affected you, because

551
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,679
Speaker 1: it was already something you had to grapple with. It

552
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 1: was a decision that you made and coming here knowing that, Okay,

553
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 1: this track scholarship, I'm supposed to do X, Y and Z,

554
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: but instead things are going a different direction, and then

555
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,200
Speaker 1: feeling like you're seventeen years old then don't have that support.

556
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,919
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I think anybody who has spent time with

557
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 5: being the last year, y'all know, I'm my Daddy's girl, right,

558
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:32,640
Speaker 5: Like I talk about my dad all the time.

559
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 4: He's crazy, but like he's just hilarious.

560
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 5: And so therefore, being seventeen years old and having to

561
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 5: tell my parents that not only am I pregnant, but

562
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,679
Speaker 5: I'm going to have the baby, when you have two

563
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,959
Speaker 5: people who sacrifice so much to get you here. They

564
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 5: didn't come to the US for opportunity for them, they're

565
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 5: both PhDs. They came for the opportunities for me. And

566
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 5: I'm a firstborn and only girl, right And we've only

567
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 5: been here seven years at the point that this happens.

568
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 5: And they were fine with the fact that I went

569
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,359
Speaker 5: to college, but having attract scholarship didn't matter to them.

570
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:09,399
Speaker 4: They're academics. And so I didn't tell my parents.

571
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 5: Well, li, y'all read in the book how I told

572
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,040
Speaker 5: my parents it was a very seventeen year old, but

573
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 5: I remember there was a lot of things that were disappointing.

574
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 5: I think it was cousins that weren't allowed to speak

575
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 5: to me anymore, as if it's contagious.

576
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 4: It was.

577
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 5: It was whether it be in word, in looks, in energy,

578
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 5: people who started to renegotiate my potential without my permission.

579
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,399
Speaker 5: Why are you telling me today I can't do that

580
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:35,800
Speaker 5: and yesterday I could. And I'm seventeen taking this in like,

581
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 5: I know how proud you've been at me, And all

582
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 5: of a sudden, the day after I'm pregnant, it changes.

583
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,400
Speaker 5: And that's why I say, we negotiate my potential without

584
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,639
Speaker 5: them like this unsolicited guidance to do things at a

585
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 5: lesser level now that I was gonna have a baby

586
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 5: right like and I didn't know how to process it,

587
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 5: but that like that was the energy and so the

588
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 5: ware are a lot of things happening at that time,

589
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 5: and one of them was and again I understand, and

590
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 5: all the things like experience came from a place of love.

591
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 5: So I'm not condemning them of just being honest about

592
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,199
Speaker 5: the impact they had. But I will tell you that

593
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 5: I think that for both of my parents, and at

594
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 5: the time they were separated someone I lived with my mom,

595
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 5: but my dad saw us regularly. I think the hardest

596
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 5: part for me being a daddy's girl and having had

597
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 5: this environment and being told how dope I am. By

598
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 5: the way, I'm a daddy's girl. My mom thinks I'm

599
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 5: a fairy and I could do anything like She's very

600
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:26,919
Speaker 5: much the optimist as well. But to have my dad

601
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 5: be in such a level of disappointment about if.

602
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 2: He failed, they take it very personally.

603
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,639
Speaker 5: It's part of what created that separation, because what people

604
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 5: need to understand is separate from what makes one country another.

605
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,919
Speaker 5: The journey of immigrants coming to the US is usually

606
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 5: about opportunity, and the adults that come are rarely the

607
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:51,439
Speaker 5: ones who will benefit. It's usually for the generations of

608
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 5: their children and their children to come, and the home

609
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 5: countries that people come from.

610
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,880
Speaker 4: Celebrate that with the people that go.

611
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 5: Right. So Lucas Zwanga's family was so proud that we

612
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,120
Speaker 5: were in the US and they're going to do good

613
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 5: and look at our niece Caroline, right. So what has

614
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 5: to be understood in that story is this became something

615
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 5: my father and mother were trying to figure out how

616
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 5: to tell the people back in Kenya because they brag

617
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 5: about what we do. And I'm the firstborn and I

618
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 5: was the first one to go to college here, and

619
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 5: so I can tell you that because now I understand

620
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 5: what led to his behavior. But at the time, my

621
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 5: daddy was disappointed in me. And to have a daddy

622
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 5: that told me every day I can do whatever I want,

623
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 5: never told me I couldn't do anything. Be so disappointed

624
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 5: that he couldn't figure out how to interact with me

625
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,439
Speaker 5: because he didn't want to make me feel worse, but

626
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 5: he didn't know how to deal with the fact that

627
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 5: the firstborn of the family that he brought here only

628
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 5: seven years in is now going to have a limited

629
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,399
Speaker 5: life because she became a parent.

630
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 4: He had to isolate And I.

631
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 5: Understand it psychologically now, but at the time I just

632
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 5: was sad.

633
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 4: I made my daddy said.

634
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,280
Speaker 2: Well, realizations and life lessons. Did it teach you that

635
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 2: cadence is birth changed all that.

636
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,159
Speaker 5: Here's what I would say, and I think this is

637
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 5: very much my personality, and I have to keep saying

638
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 5: I'm still a work in progress, y'all.

639
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 4: Right, I have not a right and it sounds like math,

640
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,879
Speaker 4: don't it the finances? Like did you say eighty or nothing? Anyway?

641
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 5: But but my point is, and I say that because

642
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,159
Speaker 5: I need people to know, don't put me in this

643
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 5: category is somebody that's figured it out. Don't remove yourself

644
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 5: from believing what's true for me.

645
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 4: That's why I tell the stories.

646
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 2: Because I said observation that her life can just make

647
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:29,439
Speaker 2: all of that.

648
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, and and and here's the thing with Cadence. So

649
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 5: number one, because I was so hell bent on not failing.

650
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:42,959
Speaker 5: I raised Cadence in a violent defiance of what I

651
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 5: thought people were saying about me. She's gonna be clean,

652
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 5: she's gonna be fed, she's gonna be smart, and nobody

653
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 5: gonna tell me I can't do this right. Like, it

654
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 5: was this defiance of like all y'all think I'm an

655
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 5: fail watch this. And while that sounds like something really

656
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,879
Speaker 5: motivating and sounds like something really.

657
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 4: Heroic, it actually was toxic.

658
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,160
Speaker 5: Here's why because and again I was seventeen at the time.

659
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 5: While that defiance helped me get Cadence to where she

660
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,960
Speaker 5: needed to be as a parent, and she's one of

661
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,120
Speaker 5: my favorite human beings in the world.

662
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 4: She's super dope, right, it got me there.

663
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 5: It compromised some of the other things that happened in

664
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 5: people's parenting journey.

665
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 4: Which is just relationship. Right.

666
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 5: So while I love my daughter and she was loved

667
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 5: and you know there was nothing wrong, my fueling of

668
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:35,160
Speaker 5: defiance overrolled sometimes when you just need to be in relation.

669
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 5: And I think that now that she's an adult and

670
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 5: we've gone through many different stages of our relationship. She

671
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:42,959
Speaker 5: just turned thirty a couple of weeks ago, she's here

672
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 5: in New York, I think that, And I'm always honest

673
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 5: about this, right, like that season is what kept me

674
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,159
Speaker 5: alive and kept her taking care of But as a

675
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 5: little girl in the paradox between that moment and then

676
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,119
Speaker 5: me and my parents is sitting out loud in that

677
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 5: the fact that I did that and the fact that

678
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 5: she becomes an adult and she sees other parents, and

679
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 5: there's maybe some things missing because we were only seventeen

680
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 5: years apart, because I was very defiant and stoic in

681
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,160
Speaker 5: raising her, and anything related to loving you up happened.

682
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 4: But what you felt more was like this.

683
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 5: Energy I was giving everybody else about you being good.

684
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 5: We are in a stage where we're trying to figure

685
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,120
Speaker 5: out what the impact was of that, and Cadence has

686
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:23,360
Speaker 5: trauma because of that, and I have to be comfortable,

687
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 5: and I'm saying this fully, honestly, I have to be comfortable,

688
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,920
Speaker 5: and that's why my own story with my parents is important.

689
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,159
Speaker 5: I have to be comfortable with letting Cadence process that

690
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,880
Speaker 5: experience in her own way. And I will say that

691
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 5: over the last couple of years, Cadence has taken ownership

692
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 5: of processing what wasn't fun for her and what wasn't

693
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 5: right for her. And the energy that came was something

694
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,959
Speaker 5: well intended but didn't always create a great experience. And

695
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 5: it has been hard for me to make room for

696
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,160
Speaker 5: the way that she needs to process it because different

697
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 5: from what my dad did with me, Cadence needs some

698
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 5: separation from me so to process it. And it is

699
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 5: something I've learned how to live with. But the journey

700
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 5: was I got so hell bent on proving people wrong.

701
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 5: That energy created a different parenting experience. There was nothing

702
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 5: that happened to her, but it created a parenting experience

703
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 5: where she experienced more of the energy of like, you

704
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 5: can do whatever you want than she did. The babe,

705
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 5: come get a hug and she's processing that as an

706
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 5: adult and I have to let her do that and

707
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 5: that's hard, but I understand it because of what I

708
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 5: went through with my parents.

709
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 2: So you are my daughter's going to be You don't

710
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:32,479
Speaker 2: think my daughter can be this. She's going to be this.

711
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 2: You don't think I can be this. I'm going to

712
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 2: be this. I'm going to hit all the markers. Where

713
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 2: did this radical authenticity mentality persona that you have come from?

714
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 5: The one that you're seeing now? It only started in

715
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 5: twenty fifteen. So remember I told you about that conference.

716
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 4: That I went to where I did psychological birthdays.

717
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 5: It was intended to just catch me up to where

718
00:29:55,920 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 5: I was. What's sitting parallel to that was the opportunit

719
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 5: Twunity Target gave me to be the chief Diversity, Inclusion and.

720
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 4: Culture Officer of the company.

721
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 5: And again, to me, that was just another job because

722
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 5: I was still on here comparing myself.

723
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 4: So that's why I keep telling people like you give

724
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 4: that is a big deal to be in the c

725
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 4: sweetest thought, I was like, Okay, it's a Tuesday. Like literally,

726
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 4: that's how jaded I was.

727
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 5: But I take this job and my inner saboteur, which

728
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 5: my book is about the journey between my inner sabatur

729
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 5: and my intuition. That's where I'm highly percent sure comes from.

730
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 5: And I got this job, and I had worked at

731
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,719
Speaker 5: Target for ten years when I got that job, and

732
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 5: I was really good at what I did. I got

733
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 5: that job and got afraid i'd be fired because my

734
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 5: job was to tell people how they can bring their

735
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 5: authentic selves to work within the Target corporation. It was

736
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 5: my job to hold people accountable that the company, the employees,

737
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 5: the leaders, whatever. And I wore cardigans, which I hate

738
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 5: because I thought that's what you were to survive. I

739
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 5: refused to do things with my hair like start locks,

740
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 5: because I didn't think you'd do that in corporate America.

741
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 5: I hated what I wore. I hated how I showed up.

742
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 5: I hated that I was small. And I actually got

743
00:30:57,920 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 5: scared that I'll get fired because now I'm supposed to

744
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 5: say authenticity and if you saw me in the grocery,

745
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 5: start on Saturday just saying, oh.

746
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 4: What you see?

747
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,479
Speaker 5: And so I got scared and I started with an

748
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 5: esthetic activity of getting rid of the clothes I didn't

749
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 5: like that I'd been wearing for years to survive in

750
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 5: corporate and starting to wear the clothes I did like,

751
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 5: and then it became blue lipstick, and it became other things.

752
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 5: And so the DEI job scared me into being the

753
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 5: caroline at work that I was outside of work.

754
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 4: But again it wasn't this enlightened moment. It was like,

755
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 4: I can't get fired. This child wants to do it

756
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 4: in exensive.

757
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:31,640
Speaker 5: What ended up happening the more I did those little

758
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 5: things and they were little at the time, but little things,

759
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 5: and there's always consequences, but they're bearable. And I need

760
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 5: people to remember that, stop not expecting consequences for owning

761
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 5: who you are. Trust you can manage them. Right, The

762
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 5: consequences were bearable. I had to tell two people don't

763
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 5: touch me what I ask of me, you know, and

764
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 5: one person like stop asking about my hair.

765
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 4: But like other than that, fine, nobody cared.

766
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 5: Nobody I cared.

767
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 4: I was watching. Nobody cared. So every little.

768
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 5: Bit more I brought not lose my job gave me

769
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,959
Speaker 5: positive reassurance to keep going. So by the time I

770
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 5: had been in that job five years, which is when

771
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 5: I got the call to come over to Essence, I

772
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 5: had fully embraced the way that I showed up. Because

773
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 5: while it started as not wanting to get fired, it

774
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 5: became the loudest propellant of being a DEI practitioner. People

775
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 5: saw somebody who walks what they talk and like if

776
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 5: Caroline's asked come to work but too on a Tuesday.

777
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 4: Shit, we are too right.

778
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 5: And so even when I got the call to go

779
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 5: to Essen's Ventures, and you know, many months in as

780
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 5: I was working through the doubt of being a CEO,

781
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 5: I remember I talked with rich lu Dennis on the

782
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 5: many days where I cried and wanted to quit, and

783
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 5: I remember I had talked to him and I was

784
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:46,920
Speaker 5: I was basically resigning, and I said, why me now?

785
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 5: Mind John already took the job as late to ask

786
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 5: the question, but Willson Noville and he said two things.

787
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 5: He said, I called around about you, and everywhere you

788
00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 5: went you won. So all this defiance and grit that

789
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 5: had not created great things was one of the things

790
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 5: that got me the job.

791
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 4: And then he said, the second thing is.

792
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 5: You live in the way I want every black woman

793
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 5: to be able to live.

794
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 4: So a decision that started it being afraid of.

795
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:20,040
Speaker 5: Being fired from the DEI job and owning my authenticity

796
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 5: and all the trauma of the way that I chose

797
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 5: to live my life. Being an early mom and functioning

798
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 5: in defiance became the two reasons I was asked to

799
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 5: come be in charge of a cultural artifact. And what

800
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 5: that created is a continued defiance to stay in my

801
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 5: authenticity for those girls that need.

802
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 4: To see me do it. But I also perform.

803
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 5: One hundred times better when I can wear urban flamingo

804
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:44,720
Speaker 5: and whatever else I may have on, because then my

805
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 5: attention is not wasted on worrying what people think about me.

806
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 5: It's all directed to what I'm supposed to do in

807
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 5: the world.

808
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 2: You did it for those girls. Still Bongo women.

809
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, still doing it, and you'll understand why we use

810
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 5: the word wanga and why Bubo is in the book.

811
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 4: It is our last name. But but there's a really

812
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 4: big heritage story there.

813
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 1: Like longas oh it's one time I knew my HERI

814
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 1: It's is like, you know, you're I think that's a

815
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 1: powerful thing.

816
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 2: You made such a difference. When I was reading that,

817
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,840
Speaker 2: I was like, people should know they're from kings and

818
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 2: we just don't know that. And it's missing in the

819
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,879
Speaker 2: African American experience. It's missing in their outcomes as well.

820
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, and Laveil Laveil with Amistad Books, who helped me

821
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 5: do this book after many years of refusing to do

822
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 5: a book. When we were talking because I just talked,

823
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 5: I had like two to three things that were required

824
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 5: on this book. I would not negotiate the name. I'd

825
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 5: had the name of this book in my head for years.

826
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 4: The picture the author's sold.

827
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:39,400
Speaker 5: I took that picture in twenty twenty two is a

828
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 5: part of headshots. But the minute I decided the name

829
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 5: of the book, I knew that was going to be

830
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 5: the picture because it kind of is the epitome of

831
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 5: I'm highly percent sure in.

832
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 4: A look my eyes are like I look mischievous. And

833
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 4: then it was.

834
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:53,879
Speaker 5: What I say needs to be verbaid on what goes

835
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,239
Speaker 5: in the book, don't corporatize it, don't do whatever. So

836
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 5: it was saturdays of Lavel listening to me run my mouth,

837
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 5: sending a chat or for transcripts. And when we had

838
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 5: everything together and we were trying to decide the order

839
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 5: of the book because it's not chronological, and I refuse

840
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 5: to do chapter numbers because I didn't want to amplay chronology.

841
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,840
Speaker 5: Every chapter is the name, and I asked it was

842
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 5: their favorite chapter name, but I didn't want to put

843
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:19,839
Speaker 5: my dad's chapter first. And I didn't want to put

844
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 5: my dad's chapter first because as much as we've got

845
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,240
Speaker 5: a lot of things that we're dealing with, the amount

846
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 5: of energy that has come my way in the essence

847
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 5: ventures job about being an African immigrant and the accusations

848
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 5: that I am sitting there trying to steal something from

849
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 5: the domestic black community, from the African American community. Since

850
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 5: I took this job, the tension between the African amergrant

851
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 5: community and the African American community is there, and me

852
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 5: stepping into this role at essence attracted that to me, right,

853
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 5: and so it's always been in the back of my mind.

854
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,919
Speaker 5: And so I was hesitant to make that the first

855
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 5: chapter in the book because I didn't want to prepare

856
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:03,840
Speaker 5: youate this better than thou kind of thing that a

857
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 5: lot of people feel in the conversation between African immigrants

858
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 5: and African American And so I was really resisting because

859
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,359
Speaker 5: I didn't want to turn people off. In the first

860
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 5: chapter of the book, Okay, so Lavail says to me,

861
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,360
Speaker 5: and she's black after American. She says to me, Carolina

862
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 5: has got to be the first chapter. And I said why,

863
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 5: She says, do you know how many people will believe

864
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 5: that there's more than you need to go find in

865
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 5: their story?

866
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:25,799
Speaker 2: Yes?

867
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly immediately.

868
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 5: Right, And so as much as yes, what you guys

869
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 5: are saying is true, all I said is okay, I'm

870
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,760
Speaker 5: gonna trust you, Lavail, because my experience with it hadn't

871
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 5: been that, and so had she not convinced me, it

872
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 5: would not have been the opening chapter of the book.

873
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 5: But what you felt is exactly why she asked me

874
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:48,880
Speaker 5: to do it, and I trusted her. And it seems

875
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 5: like that's what people are taking from it. But again,

876
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 5: our trauma makes us make interesting decisions.

877
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 1: You know, you said that people have been asking you

878
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:58,400
Speaker 1: to do this book for so long. Why did you say, okay,

879
00:36:58,440 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 1: it is time now?

880
00:36:59,640 --> 00:36:59,799
Speaker 5: Really?

881
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 1: I do think timing is very important when it comes

882
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,760
Speaker 1: to something like this, So why did the timing align?

883
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 4: Yeah?

884
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 5: And I don't even know that people knew what kind

885
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:09,880
Speaker 5: of book they wanted me to do. They just wanted

886
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 5: me to do a bit.

887
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:11,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, And my.

888
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:15,280
Speaker 5: Resistance was a really simple answer. I am a person

889
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 5: who delivers what my purpose is in my voice and

890
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 5: my inflection in the way that I use words right,

891
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 5: Like people who are supportive of what I stand for

892
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 5: have usually heard me do it firsthand. I'm on a podcast,

893
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 5: I'm on a stage, I'm writing something whatever, right, And

894
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 5: so I know that part of what people value and

895
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:36,880
Speaker 5: what I offer is the fact that I deliver it

896
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 5: verbally right.

897
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 4: I deliver it, I say.

898
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 5: It, I put the inflection, I'll put the sarcasm, I'll

899
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 5: put the snarkiness, I'll put the jokes up with the

900
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 5: customer like I get to mix the formula of how

901
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 5: they take it in. I never thought that the way

902
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 5: that I delivered those messages live could be justifiably.

903
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 4: Translated into writing.

904
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 5: Because I struggle to say what I'm saying by writing

905
00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,920
Speaker 5: out a sentence, because I am not a sentenced thinker.

906
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,239
Speaker 5: I'm a stream of consciousness, and I forget what I

907
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 5: say as when as I did. And so I was

908
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,320
Speaker 5: convinced for years that the things that I were teaching

909
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,400
Speaker 5: and the things that I stood for that people loved

910
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,400
Speaker 5: wouldn't fit in a book. But they wanted a book

911
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,839
Speaker 5: because they may not get invited to the conference where

912
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 5: I'm speaking, or they may never get to work with

913
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 5: me at Target right, but they as the reputation built,

914
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 5: they wanted to know more and maybe they snaw snippet

915
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:23,279
Speaker 5: and wanted more. And I was like, it ain't gonna

916
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:24,799
Speaker 5: work in a book, y'all. I'll make you a video

917
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 5: before I'll give you a book. That's why half the

918
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 5: things I would say are free on the internet right now.

919
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 5: And so that's why I fought it. I didn't think

920
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:32,880
Speaker 5: it could translate and lavel. I've been asked me to

921
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 5: do book for about two years, but what ended up happening.

922
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 5: And again I will say that this Essence Venture's job

923
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 5: played a role in it is when I moved away

924
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 5: from a corporate space, the Target corporation, where my work

925
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 5: in DEI had a foundation for conversation about authenticity internally,

926
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 5: externally and in the corporate.

927
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 4: Sector, which is really like OZ.

928
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 5: The corporate sector is a really weird, separate thing from

929
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 5: all of reality, so it's kind of like insular.

930
00:38:58,239 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 4: It celebrates itself.

931
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,399
Speaker 5: When I moved into the essence role, and I have

932
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 5: this responsibility for a cultural artifact that is sacred and

933
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 5: I am not from the industry.

934
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 4: I wasn't from the entertainment industry. I wasn't from the

935
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:12,400
Speaker 4: media industry.

936
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 5: I was like, who is Guerau right, Michelle Ebanks? The

937
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 5: legend had just stepped away, right, Like I am not familiar. Then, thirdly,

938
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 5: this is not something I built, nor that I have

939
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 5: the right to personalize. My job is to keep it

940
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 5: rich and keep it moving. And the community owned because

941
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 5: people were like, we know who you are. A job

942
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 5: to know who's sit in the chair, right.

943
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:37,279
Speaker 4: So the community owned she was there.

944
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 5: What I realized is in this particular seat and the

945
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 5: way that essence functions, people look to essence for something.

946
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:48,760
Speaker 5: If you think about Susan Taylor's in the Spirit column.

947
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 5: And so I got to this place where because I

948
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,480
Speaker 5: came out of the corporate world, I couldn't articulate in

949
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:57,719
Speaker 5: the same way everything I wanted to say, because there

950
00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 5: were things related to just making sure that essence epos

951
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:04,440
Speaker 5: is known that got added to my vocabulary. And so

952
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:06,879
Speaker 5: because I do all this purpose work and people would

953
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 5: discover it as I engage with them in the job,

954
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 5: I finally said, you know what, guys, here's the issue

955
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:16,360
Speaker 5: that this book solves. For I am not as I

956
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:18,279
Speaker 5: am not in the decision seat as much as I

957
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 5: used to be about where I go and what I

958
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 5: talk about I said, and there is a purpose journey

959
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 5: that my life represents that I want to continue to

960
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 5: make sure people get. So I will do a book

961
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 5: to accelerate more people being able to hear the story

962
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:35,399
Speaker 5: so they can find theirs because in this essence job,

963
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 5: I won't make it everywhere, and I don't want.

964
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,400
Speaker 4: People to miss out on the message. That's why I

965
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 4: did the book.

966
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:43,919
Speaker 1: You know, as you talk about Target and then going

967
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:47,319
Speaker 1: from Target to Essence, and clearly at both of those

968
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 1: times there was turmoil going on within companies.

969
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 3: I want to ask now about God to ask this.

970
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:54,240
Speaker 4: Every time I come to the answers.

971
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:59,400
Speaker 1: She brings some violence, but Target with di right because

972
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:03,319
Speaker 1: for five years, you know, you were that person that

973
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 1: also was protecting what was happening at the company, making

974
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 1: sure that it was authentic, making sure that while the

975
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,919
Speaker 1: bottom line matters, you know what else matters is also

976
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: making sure we're taking care of our people right. And

977
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 1: now we're in a space where we're seeing all these

978
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 1: boycotts of Target, and we're seeing like what's happening And

979
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,839
Speaker 1: I just want to hear from you as somebody that

980
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 1: I know you're not there now, but from somebody who's

981
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,840
Speaker 1: been on the inside. What do you think is the

982
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 1: way for them to be able to move forward? And

983
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:31,320
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on the boycott?

984
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:32,799
Speaker 4: So here's what I'll offer you.

985
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 5: And I've been asked this question before as I've been

986
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 5: talking about the book, and I'm gonna say it this

987
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 5: way because I think it's really important. There is a

988
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:40,959
Speaker 5: chapter in the book, and because I didn't do numbers,

989
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 5: I can never people, but it is a chapter called

990
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,760
Speaker 5: this Ain't Scrabble. That is the name of the chapter.

991
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 5: Reading that chapter because by the way, when I got

992
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 5: the DEI job, I wasn't a DEO person, so very

993
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 5: similar not being a media person coming in here like

994
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:56,879
Speaker 5: I was from the business, like I'm waiting to get

995
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 5: over here and tell y'all what you need to do

996
00:41:58,040 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 5: to make money for the business in this job, right,

997
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 5: Like I didn't grow up in DEI. So this Ain't

998
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 5: Scrabble chapter is what my actual believed and built philosophy

999
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:13,800
Speaker 5: is as a practitioner, right, not based on where target

1000
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 5: is today. What I wrote in this book, and again

1001
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 5: this book was done long before what's happening now. This

1002
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:23,320
Speaker 5: Ain't Scrabble is the chapter that describes my practitioner perspective

1003
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,919
Speaker 5: on how you drive deeon a corporate company. It articulates

1004
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:28,880
Speaker 5: that from the job that I was in from twenty

1005
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,879
Speaker 5: fourteen to twenty twenty, what did I do in that

1006
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 5: role to help target move that further. I was not

1007
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,799
Speaker 5: the first one. I was the fifth one I think

1008
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 5: in that job.

1009
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:40,960
Speaker 1: But the loudest when and the most visible when that

1010
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:43,480
Speaker 1: I was a different but I was a different one.

1011
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 3: I was a different one.

1012
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, they thought I was the first because I was

1013
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 5: a different one. I was one that didn't want to

1014
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 5: be behind the scenes and just be the no and

1015
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 5: risk management police. I wanted to go into community and

1016
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 5: be like, what do you think this thing is? And

1017
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 5: if I make it different, what is it? And I'm answered,

1018
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:01,360
Speaker 5: I'm starting there for one reason. I think the piece

1019
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 5: that there's two things I would ask that would be

1020
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 5: really important. The first of them is check the facts.

1021
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:11,400
Speaker 4: Check the facts.

1022
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:15,800
Speaker 5: The things that people choose to believe to take action

1023
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 5: need to be things that people understand. Check the basis

1024
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 5: for the facts, so that as you take action.

1025
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 4: You are functioning with the set of facts that you've

1026
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,760
Speaker 4: independently looked at and decided are important.

1027
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 3: To you.

1028
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:33,279
Speaker 5: The second thing would be whether or not Target did

1029
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 5: the right thing in this scenario. What I will offer

1030
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 5: is that the role that corporations play and how the

1031
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 5: world moves is heavy. Understand and be clear about what

1032
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 5: you want to be different, not just what you don't like,

1033
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 5: because that's where change happens. What do you want to

1034
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 5: see the different? And so I share that with you

1035
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,759
Speaker 5: Because I left Target in twenty twenty, right, So I

1036
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,359
Speaker 5: wasn't there. In fact, we I announced I was leaving

1037
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 5: the week that George Floyd was and they were burning

1038
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 5: Target stores down in Minneapolis the week I announced I

1039
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:12,440
Speaker 5: was leaving.

1040
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 3: And they wanted you to wait to announce that we.

1041
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 5: Were gonna wait, but we said, it's not going to

1042
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:17,880
Speaker 5: get better, right, So I left in twenty twenty. But

1043
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 5: what I will share with people is I just want

1044
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 5: you to make sure that the action you're choosing to

1045
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 5: take is based on things you have decided are information

1046
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,839
Speaker 5: that's right, and you have decided you want you know

1047
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 5: what you want to be different. That way, you can

1048
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 5: push from whatever seat or point of leverage you have

1049
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 5: what you want to see happen. And if you can't

1050
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:40,840
Speaker 5: answer those two questions for yourself, Go get the answer.

1051
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:43,799
Speaker 2: How is it not destabilizing? I remember for years I

1052
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,280
Speaker 2: used to cover the diversity woman media conferences. Yeah, doctor,

1053
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 2: she shout out to Sheila. She's been on Wednesdays several times.

1054
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 2: And Target was always a leader, they were one of

1055
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,879
Speaker 2: the sponsors. They were always right out in front and

1056
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 2: really really deep re search and you know, change this

1057
00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 2: whole space. And now all of a sudden, this it's

1058
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 2: so destabilizing as a consumer and as as someone who

1059
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:12,799
Speaker 2: you know championed the company for champiing diversity. That's what

1060
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 2: people are struggling with. It feels like they have been

1061
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,359
Speaker 2: tricked or manipulated.

1062
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:21,240
Speaker 5: So let me ask you a question, as a consumer

1063
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 5: feeling that, what would you want Target to do different

1064
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 5: for you to restabilize you.

1065
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:35,799
Speaker 2: I would want them to explain how what justified what

1066
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 2: they told themselves to justify such a radical policy shift

1067
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:43,760
Speaker 2: from being a leader in that space to now changing

1068
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 2: it so quickly.

1069
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 4: Have you told them that no, but I will do it.

1070
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:50,240
Speaker 5: That was my only point. I wasn't like, I wasn't

1071
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 5: coming at you. You illustrated exactly what I'm saying is

1072
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:56,280
Speaker 5: everybody who is involved in this has a narrative about

1073
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:59,440
Speaker 5: what happened to them with what they saw with Target.

1074
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:02,480
Speaker 5: That is important to know to be able to articulate

1075
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 5: when you say for diversity women and that's one of

1076
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:07,959
Speaker 5: the examples. And I know how I saw Target because

1077
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 5: of how they did those things. And here's how I

1078
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:11,879
Speaker 5: felt when I thought they did something different, And here's

1079
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 5: what I want to see them be different.

1080
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,680
Speaker 4: That's what everybody should be doing.

1081
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 2: I think that's what people aren't getting about the DEI

1082
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 2: argument or like it's a new era now, but there

1083
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:24,800
Speaker 2: is a betrayal in this when someone with these about faces,

1084
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:26,719
Speaker 2: and that's what I think a lot of people in

1085
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 2: communities or color are struggling with that. Nobody's quite getting

1086
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 2: that it's betrayal.

1087
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 5: And here's what I would say, you are very intentionally

1088
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,840
Speaker 5: not seeing me lean intowards like betrayal. Not because I

1089
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 5: am saying you're right or wrong.

1090
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 2: The saying is what I feel like, Yes, I wasn't

1091
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:40,480
Speaker 2: debating you.

1092
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 5: What I'm saying is everybody has the right to feel

1093
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 5: what the moment made them feel. There's no one feeling

1094
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 5: that's right. Some people feel betrayed, some people feel tricked,

1095
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 5: some people feel My point is this. Nobody needs to

1096
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:53,760
Speaker 5: feel like they have to manage at.

1097
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,960
Speaker 4: An aggregate level how a moment made them feel.

1098
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 5: Feel how you feel, use the words to describe exactly

1099
00:46:59,200 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 5: how you feel.

1100
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 4: Do that yours was betrayal.

1101
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:04,960
Speaker 5: Others might be different, but please make sure that attached

1102
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:06,640
Speaker 5: to that, you know what you want to see be

1103
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 5: different to get out of that feeling, and you are

1104
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,160
Speaker 5: getting it to the entity you need to make the change,

1105
00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:13,360
Speaker 5: because I feel like that's where things don't go well.

1106
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:16,920
Speaker 5: Is there is a ground swell of concern or feeling

1107
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 5: or whatever.

1108
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 4: I bit Listen, I have plenty of personal opinions on

1109
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:21,399
Speaker 4: things I don't like right.

1110
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,880
Speaker 5: So I'm also giving this, giving this guidance to the

1111
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:26,400
Speaker 5: lens of what I'm also managing myself through. What I

1112
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 5: need us to do is make sure that we are

1113
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 5: finishing the sentence. Be clear about where you feel like

1114
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:33,839
Speaker 5: things didn't happen well for you and how that made

1115
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:36,480
Speaker 5: you feel. Be clear about what you expect to be

1116
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 5: different for the feeling to return, and make sure the

1117
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:40,400
Speaker 5: entity knows it.

1118
00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 4: That's what we got to do.

1119
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:45,160
Speaker 5: Otherwise you'll either get swept off in a ground swell

1120
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 5: that maybe doesn't have specificity or you lose track of

1121
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:52,240
Speaker 5: what you're really fighting for, because who knows. The movement

1122
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:54,440
Speaker 5: may go left and you want to stay right, but

1123
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 5: you may still have a beef. I want people to

1124
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 5: make sure that they can articulate personally while they're engaged

1125
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:01,640
Speaker 5: in it, and have on what they need and get

1126
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 5: it to the entity you need to know.

1127
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:08,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, those are personal, you know what you run into personally?

1128
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:11,000
Speaker 2: Those are those are really your points of transcendence. The

1129
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 2: point where you're in prison is where you're set free.

1130
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:15,720
Speaker 4: I would myself detained.

1131
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 5: This entire book is about how Caroline imprisoned herself psychologically.

1132
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:24,839
Speaker 5: It is about how Karen allowed environments to lock her up.

1133
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:28,960
Speaker 5: It is about how Caroline's lens was so tainted that

1134
00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 5: she couldn't see what everybody else could see about herself.

1135
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 5: So I'm honoring what you're saying about personal because.

1136
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:38,400
Speaker 4: What we believe is what is true absolutely.

1137
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 5: And if we don't understand if what we believe is healthy,

1138
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 5: if we don't understand where that might be informed by

1139
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:46,400
Speaker 5: that things there's good things too, and we don't understand

1140
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:49,040
Speaker 5: what needs to be different, then we will stay imprisoned,

1141
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 5: even if we're given the key, because we haven't gotten

1142
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 5: out all the things that need to be different, and

1143
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 5: that is not the same as changing how you feel.

1144
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 4: How you feel is how you feel.

1145
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 5: Make sure that you have put towards the action that

1146
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:04,320
Speaker 5: you expect from the entity that made you feel that way,

1147
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:06,960
Speaker 5: so that at the very least, even if they don't change,

1148
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 5: you told them what they needed to do, and then

1149
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:11,600
Speaker 5: you can own staying in the energy you want to

1150
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 5: if they don't.

1151
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 2: What do you want the legacy of this book to be?

1152
00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:16,600
Speaker 5: I don't want this book to be a legacy, is

1153
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 5: my honest answer. And I'll tell you why. I know

1154
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 5: why you're asking the question. Like I said, I didn't

1155
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,279
Speaker 5: want to do this book. One of the things that

1156
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 5: is true about my story is in the midst of

1157
00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:27,880
Speaker 5: all the things you see here, I would sit in

1158
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,440
Speaker 5: rooms and in spaces like this and in moments like this,

1159
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:34,760
Speaker 5: and I would listen to these dope people say dope

1160
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:37,879
Speaker 5: stuff that made me want to be a better person. Right,

1161
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:41,200
Speaker 5: I'm listening to yon one Sue's right, Like I am

1162
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:43,759
Speaker 5: sitting here having the opportunity, over the course of my

1163
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:46,239
Speaker 5: life to hear these people that inspire me to be

1164
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 5: my best self. The stories were way too perfect mm

1165
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:54,759
Speaker 5: hmm for me to believe that I could do what

1166
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,319
Speaker 5: they did to get to where they are, because I

1167
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 5: fail seven times before I get up in the morning.

1168
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:00,839
Speaker 4: And so while I.

1169
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 5: Still admired people who I said in the womb with

1170
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 5: and heard their stories, because their stories were often packaged

1171
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 5: in a way that was about making sure you're hearing

1172
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:13,320
Speaker 5: the victory in it, I would remove myself from believing

1173
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:16,000
Speaker 5: that the level of success they had reached, or the

1174
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,880
Speaker 5: level of clarity they had reached, was possible for me

1175
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:20,840
Speaker 5: because they didn't tell a story that had the flaws

1176
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:22,719
Speaker 5: that I know that I have as a human. And

1177
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:24,720
Speaker 5: I remember I would sit in those rooms and I said,

1178
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:27,560
Speaker 5: if I ever have that level of agency, if I

1179
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,839
Speaker 5: ever have that level of agency, I will tell the

1180
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:34,279
Speaker 5: story the way it happened, not for me, but for

1181
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 5: the fourteen Caroline sitting in a room listening to me,

1182
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:39,840
Speaker 5: who need to know that what you read in chapter

1183
00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:42,080
Speaker 5: twenty is not where I was when I was in

1184
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:43,279
Speaker 5: the chapter two that you're in.

1185
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:44,680
Speaker 4: So I'm going to tell you what I was.

1186
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:46,880
Speaker 5: Doing in chapter two so you don't dismiss how to

1187
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 5: get through chapter two because you think I was only

1188
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 5: a chapter twenty.

1189
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 4: So this book is not about a legacy.

1190
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 5: This book is about dismantling the idea that you only

1191
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:57,520
Speaker 5: tell the stories of how you live life through the

1192
00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 5: lens of triumphs and being honest about the trial. So

1193
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 5: every human being believes that with all that they are, good, bad, ugly,

1194
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 5: the steps that are present here are possible for them.

1195
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 5: And I have a major trigger point with this book

1196
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 5: when I encounter people where they tell me all the

1197
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,200
Speaker 5: reasons why I'm the only person that's going to happen to.

1198
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:16,880
Speaker 4: Well, you owned a business. No, I did not own

1199
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:18,720
Speaker 4: none of the business that worked out. Well, it's because

1200
00:51:18,719 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 4: you're this.

1201
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:23,920
Speaker 5: It's because stop dismissing, right, the humanness that is true

1202
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:24,360
Speaker 5: about me.

1203
00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:25,440
Speaker 4: And while I made it here.

1204
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:29,040
Speaker 5: Now, if you're afraid to confront your own humanness to

1205
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:31,080
Speaker 5: go on this journey, say that, but don't make up

1206
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:33,279
Speaker 5: excuses for why I'm the only person that could happen to.

1207
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,240
Speaker 5: So for me, it's not about a legacy. It's about

1208
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 5: dismantling a bad behavior and the way that we are

1209
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,280
Speaker 5: telling stories to people about how to succeed by inserting

1210
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:46,920
Speaker 5: within it everything that happened, not just the way things

1211
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 5: were good and telling it that way as to how

1212
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 5: I felt then, and then offering the reflection of how

1213
00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 5: I feel.

1214
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,799
Speaker 1: Man, was this book scary for you? Because I know

1215
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 1: one of your matches is do it scary? Don't not

1216
00:51:57,880 --> 00:51:58,200
Speaker 1: do it?

1217
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:00,120
Speaker 4: This book?

1218
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:05,320
Speaker 5: If I were to articulate the three biggest fearful moments

1219
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 5: in my life, this book is in those three. And

1220
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,919
Speaker 5: to be honest with you, that clarity has come much

1221
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:16,719
Speaker 5: more now that the book was out than it was

1222
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:20,560
Speaker 5: when we were writing it. And I mean, if we're

1223
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 5: gonna call it, who the heck knew the talk was

1224
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 5: gonna be in this when I wrote this book. Who

1225
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,760
Speaker 5: knew what was going to be happening in the political

1226
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:31,040
Speaker 5: climate when I wrote this book? Right, just the environment

1227
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 5: that the book got birthed in amplified so loudly what

1228
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:38,480
Speaker 5: was already a fear. And my fear was based on

1229
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:40,760
Speaker 5: a couple of things. Number One, people think I'm preachy.

1230
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:43,640
Speaker 5: You can have whatever perspective you want to me. Yes,

1231
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:45,880
Speaker 5: I do give a lot of advice and guidance in general,

1232
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 5: and how people feel about the fact I do that

1233
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:48,560
Speaker 5: is fine.

1234
00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:51,360
Speaker 4: But I was worried that people will dismiss it, thinking

1235
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 4: I'm being preachy.

1236
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 5: Number two, I'm telling stories about people. Nobody got to

1237
00:52:57,040 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 5: read their chapter. So while my father than others were

1238
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:04,720
Speaker 5: interviewed and we left it verbatim, nobody read this book

1239
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 5: but me and lovel So how is Porcupy gonna feel

1240
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:08,400
Speaker 5: about it?

1241
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:09,719
Speaker 4: Shes gonna come out the woodwork and act a dog

1242
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:10,240
Speaker 4: on food?

1243
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:10,919
Speaker 2: Right?

1244
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 5: But also how is Cadence gonna feel about it? Because again,

1245
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:18,320
Speaker 5: I am telling ross stories that don't necessarily always have

1246
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:21,440
Speaker 5: the matching story of the other person, right, So I'm

1247
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 5: giving my perspective, but how are they?

1248
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 4: How's my mom and dad I feel? And so I was.

1249
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:28,920
Speaker 5: I am also afraid that within the need to write it,

1250
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:33,279
Speaker 5: are there now relationships that are wronged right because of

1251
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:35,880
Speaker 5: how I was right? And then the third pieces, nobody

1252
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:38,480
Speaker 5: wants to put their life out because people will.

1253
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:40,719
Speaker 4: Take it and make it what it is. But the

1254
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:41,839
Speaker 4: idea is and.

1255
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:43,360
Speaker 5: That's why I told you the story about why I

1256
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:46,320
Speaker 5: finally wrote it. All of those things are true, have

1257
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:48,479
Speaker 5: played out to be true, and will continue to be true,

1258
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 5: and the volumes turning up on them as we speak.

1259
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,880
Speaker 5: The whole point of this book is I've been afraid

1260
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:59,239
Speaker 5: since I was born. I've never not moved. I just

1261
00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:01,600
Speaker 5: haven't moved in the way I wanted to or moved

1262
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:03,520
Speaker 5: in the way that I needed to. And at some

1263
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 5: point in time in my life, multiple times, I'm offered

1264
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:10,239
Speaker 5: the opportunity to atone with myself on the decisions that

1265
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,839
Speaker 5: I made that felt best at the time. And at

1266
00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 5: the point that you have the opportunity to do that,

1267
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:17,920
Speaker 5: those that want to continue to pursue narratives of behavior

1268
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,080
Speaker 5: maybe that you've atoned for, or things that didn't happen,

1269
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:23,000
Speaker 5: or haterism or pick a thing, they're never.

1270
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 4: Going to change their mind.

1271
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 5: I had to change mind about I've atoned for the

1272
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,040
Speaker 5: things that maybe didn't happen the way that I want.

1273
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:31,880
Speaker 5: Haters are gonna hate, people are gonna say what they

1274
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:34,480
Speaker 5: want to say. But I had to liberate myself so

1275
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:36,440
Speaker 5: that the two girls out of twenty that need this

1276
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:38,759
Speaker 5: story don't not get it because of the twenty that

1277
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:39,359
Speaker 5: want to hate.

1278
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:42,880
Speaker 4: And that is what I am walking.

1279
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:46,399
Speaker 5: Literally every minute of every day since this book came out.

1280
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:47,920
Speaker 5: It's why it's not coming out in the way that

1281
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:49,960
Speaker 5: you want to. It's why page one point fifty nine

1282
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,359
Speaker 5: is in there. So this book is about bringing you

1283
00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:54,720
Speaker 5: to invite yourself to be your best self, to purpose.

1284
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:57,800
Speaker 5: And the last chapter is called take Notes, do it Better,

1285
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 5: and it is a page and a half chapter. And

1286
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:03,959
Speaker 5: the call at the end of that chapter is write

1287
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 5: your purpose down, write it on this page, send it

1288
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 5: to us if you want to, because everybody will get

1289
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:13,200
Speaker 5: to the maximum of what they're supposed to do in

1290
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:16,000
Speaker 5: the world if they can go the journey of understanding

1291
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:19,799
Speaker 5: their purpose and activate it loudly. So that page one

1292
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:23,879
Speaker 5: is the most important page in this book, because it's

1293
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 5: the point at which I give you the scary shaking

1294
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:30,399
Speaker 5: baton to say, so on you boub because Angila can't

1295
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,080
Speaker 5: do your purpose and you can't do hers. Now you

1296
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:34,239
Speaker 5: can say no, but then the world goes without. But

1297
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:36,479
Speaker 5: I did my part, which here's your.

1298
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:38,400
Speaker 4: Page one fifty nine. I'll look forward to seeing what

1299
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:38,960
Speaker 4: you do with it.

1300
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:42,000
Speaker 2: Where can people get this book.

1301
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:42,760
Speaker 4: On the internet?

1302
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:46,360
Speaker 5: If you go to HarperCollins, who's one of the publishers,

1303
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:48,799
Speaker 5: if you go to many different retail stores, they're all there.

1304
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 5: We also did an audiobook. The audiobook was my negotiation

1305
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 5: for the fact I didn't think my words come out

1306
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 5: on paper. So if you want the fun version, you

1307
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:57,160
Speaker 5: can hear me talk about the chapter that I named

1308
00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:57,800
Speaker 5: after the guy.

1309
00:55:57,680 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 4: From the Wire.

1310
00:55:59,239 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 5: But the audiobook is there too. I think it's on both.

1311
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:05,359
Speaker 5: I think it's audible as well as.

1312
00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:08,040
Speaker 4: Kindle, and I think it's also on Google Books. But

1313
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:09,359
Speaker 4: but that's where it is. Again.

1314
00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:12,320
Speaker 5: This book was not about creating any sort of visibility

1315
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:14,440
Speaker 5: for me or doing something to push this forward. This

1316
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 5: book was me extending my personal purpose, which is to

1317
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 5: democratize authenticity by getting people connected to the purpose and

1318
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:23,040
Speaker 5: going first and telling the honest story so that they'll

1319
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 5: get to there as faster. I want everybody to outdo me.

1320
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:33,240
Speaker 2: I think we filled everybody's bank this wealth Wednesday before

1321
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:38,040
Speaker 2: we leave, ladies. Tomorrow is Juneteenth, Yes it is. It

1322
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 2: is June teen tomorrow. What a way for us to can?

1323
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:44,160
Speaker 3: I have a very special Juneteenth happening tomorrow.

1324
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 5: So I'm excited.

1325
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:48,920
Speaker 1: Well, one of my good friends, John Last, he's a comedian.

1326
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:51,919
Speaker 1: He owns an app called Black and it's highlighting black

1327
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 1: owned businesses.

1328
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:54,320
Speaker 3: It has a map, and we love maps.

1329
00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 1: For black owned businesses. But he also now has a marketplace.

1330
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:00,640
Speaker 1: It's kind of like a black Amazon, is what he's

1331
00:57:00,640 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 1: calling it. And so every break we are going to

1332
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:05,759
Speaker 1: highlight a black owned business that you can support with

1333
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:09,600
Speaker 1: every day purchases like toilet paper that's black owned. You know,

1334
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:12,680
Speaker 1: lotions all things that you need for every day things,

1335
00:57:12,719 --> 00:57:15,279
Speaker 1: buying art, all of those things. And so I'm just

1336
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,320
Speaker 1: excited to be able to share that and help elevate

1337
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 1: these businesses too.

1338
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:18,720
Speaker 4: What would you.

1339
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:20,440
Speaker 5: Guys say people should take from this book or I

1340
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:21,640
Speaker 5: should know about this book?

1341
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 3: I well, I would go ahead say no.

1342
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:31,920
Speaker 2: I'm a firm believer in our You know, our trials

1343
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 2: are our teachers. You call your inner sabatory. I named

1344
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 2: mine crit and I critic Krit and I reframed her.

1345
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:40,640
Speaker 4: It's a tool.

1346
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:45,960
Speaker 2: And you know when Krit shows up, cool, you know,

1347
00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:48,919
Speaker 2: listen to your you know, I try to teach people

1348
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:51,760
Speaker 2: how to let their instincts and their intuitions and stuff lead.

1349
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 2: And that's those are also things that shake crit up.

1350
00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:58,000
Speaker 4: It's so it's.

1351
00:57:57,760 --> 00:58:00,640
Speaker 2: Still okay to be high. So that highly person, I'm sure,

1352
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,640
Speaker 2: is uh the way I look at that.

1353
00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:06,880
Speaker 5: Well, you know, I'm a believer in that intertbateur and

1354
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:11,320
Speaker 5: I honor all the people that introduce their innercebateur as

1355
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 5: a powerful.

1356
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 4: Thing because it is. It doesn't necessarily meaning you let

1357
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,080
Speaker 4: it take over. But it has a voice and.

1358
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:19,200
Speaker 5: It'll play a role. And if you don't understand its

1359
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:21,120
Speaker 5: voice and the role it plays, it'll take over. If

1360
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:22,800
Speaker 5: you understand it, then you can battle.

1361
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:26,160
Speaker 2: With the You reframe it as a tool. They're not

1362
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:26,960
Speaker 2: a sentence.

1363
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 3: And I love it.

1364
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:30,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, and again she's ruthless. I don't even like.

1365
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:33,200
Speaker 3: Well I am off.

1366
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:36,439
Speaker 1: For the setting goals and having a map to get

1367
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:38,480
Speaker 1: to those goals, I love that, But I also love

1368
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:41,840
Speaker 1: the idea of not being stagnant. And so for me,

1369
00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:45,360
Speaker 1: what I would take from this is even the creation

1370
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:48,880
Speaker 1: of Wanga Women, how it started as something that was like, Okay,

1371
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:50,920
Speaker 1: you know, I'm just gonna start taking these paypals to

1372
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:55,160
Speaker 1: go and do these and yeah cash up shout out

1373
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:58,360
Speaker 1: to cash Up, but also just being able to do

1374
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:01,960
Speaker 1: that and then actually like building a structure around that

1375
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:04,840
Speaker 1: and having good people around you to help just really

1376
00:59:04,880 --> 00:59:07,720
Speaker 1: like get it done, because sometimes we can get a

1377
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 1: little nervous or make ourselves shrink into a space where

1378
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 1: we know we should be way greater than that, and

1379
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:16,120
Speaker 1: we have the ability to do that. So I just

1380
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:18,480
Speaker 1: love the way that you've grown Wanga Women into what

1381
00:59:18,520 --> 00:59:20,880
Speaker 1: it is today, And even as somebody who is not

1382
00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:23,080
Speaker 1: trained in speech, like you said, and going out and

1383
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:25,840
Speaker 1: doing all these talking from your heart and not having

1384
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:29,320
Speaker 1: anything scripted, I think that speaks volumes to people more

1385
00:59:29,360 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 1: than anything else.

1386
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:31,800
Speaker 4: Right, And thank you.

1387
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:34,560
Speaker 5: Guys for taking that question right, because I'm still a

1388
00:59:34,560 --> 00:59:36,600
Speaker 5: girl on her journey too, right. And so the more

1389
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:38,920
Speaker 5: we can, I'm sure our stories. And I love that

1390
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:40,680
Speaker 5: this is gonna be on Wealth Wednesday, because for me,

1391
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:43,560
Speaker 5: wealth is financial as much as it is psychological, as

1392
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:45,920
Speaker 5: much as it is mental, as much as it is physical.

1393
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:48,560
Speaker 5: And I think we all function best in all aspects

1394
00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:50,680
Speaker 5: of our wealth are exactly where we need it to

1395
00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:51,720
Speaker 5: be to pursue our purpose.

1396
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:54,400
Speaker 1: Ce Grate Well, lastly, just showing up the way you

1397
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 1: want to, look at how you you know, look at

1398
00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:59,040
Speaker 1: how you show up. I think whenever Caroline walks in

1399
00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:01,920
Speaker 1: the room, she stands out in an amazing way. But

1400
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:03,640
Speaker 1: it took you a while to get to that point

1401
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:06,960
Speaker 1: where you felt like you could actually show up that way,

1402
01:00:07,040 --> 01:00:09,640
Speaker 1: Like you said, it was a process to get to that.

1403
01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:12,200
Speaker 1: By being able to live as who you truly are,

1404
01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:15,040
Speaker 1: that's one of the most freeing things you can do.

1405
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:17,480
Speaker 5: I've been walking in rooms my whole life, and it's

1406
01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 5: only recently that I've become comfortable with knowing what people

1407
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:22,760
Speaker 5: actually feel. Right, I had a thought when I would

1408
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:24,720
Speaker 5: walk into a room. It was never a positive one,

1409
01:00:24,800 --> 01:00:27,960
Speaker 5: even though that probably has been existing longer than I know.

1410
01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:29,760
Speaker 5: And so your point is good, which is you're always

1411
01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:31,200
Speaker 5: going to walk in rooms and you're always gonna have

1412
01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:33,200
Speaker 5: a thought. Question is which thought is it going to be?

1413
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:37,600
Speaker 2: To follow everything about this woman? Everybody go to Instagram

1414
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:38,760
Speaker 2: and follow at one we.

1415
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:41,600
Speaker 5: Come Petty too, because I'll be saying crazy stuff. I

1416
01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:44,440
Speaker 5: like the banter, I like the reel out here.

1417
01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:45,280
Speaker 4: We really out here.

1418
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,360
Speaker 5: If you want to read a fun chapter, read the

1419
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:50,000
Speaker 5: Petty partner's part of the book. Those are my road dogs.

1420
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:53,480
Speaker 2: At Wonga Woman. Tonight on Wealth Wednesdays, all of you

1421
01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:55,959
Speaker 2: who went to Teamwealth Wednesdays dot com like you should

1422
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,560
Speaker 2: and subscribe to our newsletter. There's going to be a

1423
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:02,440
Speaker 2: feature on Caroline and this wonderful book. I'm highly percent

1424
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:05,880
Speaker 2: sure follow us on Instagram as well. Thank you all,

1425
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:07,600
Speaker 2: and Happy Wealth Wednesday, Happy pre.

1426
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:10,800
Speaker 5: Ju Happy pre June teenth post Wealth and all the

1427
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 5: other good stuff.

1428
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:14,200
Speaker 4: Well