Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 2: time and a termino and gage.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off inside.
Speaker 2: We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 3: We scared her?
Speaker 1: Was it fine?
Speaker 2: Malborn?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do your need you ride?
Speaker 4: Ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need.
Speaker 4: With Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgariff.
Speaker 4: Hello Karen. Do you still have your Christmas tree up?
Speaker 3: Hello Chris? I never put one up.
Speaker 5: Oh I forgot about your anti Christmas tree lifestyle.
Speaker 3: I want to have a Christmas tree lifestyle.
Speaker 2: It ain't me no, you know, it's always like it,
Speaker 2: like the twenty first rolls around and I'm like, it's
Speaker 2: too late. Just light a pine tree candle and go
Speaker 2: to someone else's house.
Speaker 5: When I say Christmas tree, I mean a series of
Speaker 5: plants that I've stacked on a plant stand.
Speaker 2: When you say Christmas tree, you're just referencing your own
Speaker 2: life and yourself in a way that I could never release.
Speaker 5: Exactly everything but a tree. It's a lot of garland.
Speaker 5: There is some aquarium plastic aquarium plants. There's a Teki
Speaker 5: style mug but wrapped in it's in a triangular formation,
Speaker 5: and there are lights. And I have not yet taken
Speaker 5: down my version of a Christmas tree. So if you
Speaker 5: just want to do your own version one year, that's
Speaker 5: I'm saying. A Christmas tree can be anything. It's symbolic.
Speaker 4: That's awesome. I see.
Speaker 3: This is more of a permission than a question.
Speaker 4: I am granting you next year.
Speaker 3: And what it made me think of is where I
Speaker 3: am right now.
Speaker 2: I put up Christmas lights in November, I think, just
Speaker 2: because I found them somewhere and was like, oh, I'll
Speaker 2: put these up. And they're still up right now, and
Speaker 2: they're the white ones, so they kind of are that's
Speaker 2: your tree. You can go from the Holidays into pretending
Speaker 2: you're a girl in your first year of yeah, and like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, this is who I am.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that's I also have a vision board
Speaker 5: right by and of things I want.
Speaker 3: To do in your schedule.
Speaker 4: You're yeah, there's a Lamborghini.
Speaker 5: It's just old trapper keepers that I've framed and put
Speaker 5: on the wall. No, I think that honestly, I've kept
Speaker 5: it up because I keep I don't know why. I
Speaker 5: watched Christmas movies the other night. I'm being weird this year,
Speaker 5: and I think it's really me postponing all the things
Speaker 5: I've promised that we've talked about, resolution wise, I've not
Speaker 5: yet done them. Uh so, I'm that's because I'm still
Speaker 5: celebrating Christmas. I think I'm just now realizing why I'm
Speaker 5: going to take it down after we're done recording.
Speaker 2: Look, you can do that well into March. I think
Speaker 2: without anybody really knowing or saying anything, do you what
Speaker 2: are they.
Speaker 4: Going to say?
Speaker 5: That's that You're right, that's that's the freedom of knowing
Speaker 5: no one's going to come over to my apartment and
Speaker 5: hasn't been here in a couple of years.
Speaker 2: Actually, look forward to somebody barging their way into your
Speaker 2: apartment and suddenly judging you where you're like, well, great,
Speaker 2: then that at least that means someone's here.
Speaker 4: Well, if they do that, I'll end up macing them.
Speaker 5: Oh well, because you know who barges into apartments?
Speaker 3: Yeah? True?
Speaker 2: Burglars Burglar bargers, burglar bargers, burglars, bargers and acquaintances. But
Speaker 2: think you like stuff like that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, no one even comes a knock, and I'm far
Speaker 5: away from everyone.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm glad.
Speaker 4: We talked about that. Thank you for granting me, and
Speaker 4: I'm giving you permission next year to evertory.
Speaker 3: It's so much better.
Speaker 4: I'm just glad.
Speaker 5: I'm glad, and you people make question it listening thus far.
Speaker 5: I'm glad. I mentioned that I'm glad. I opened with that,
Speaker 5: I'm glad good, and I understand why you didn't. You
Speaker 5: were away.
Speaker 4: I was away.
Speaker 5: I set this contraption up, and then I flew home
Speaker 5: to a real not a real tree.
Speaker 4: My dad's not a monster. It's made a it's a
Speaker 4: sustainable tree. But you know, I'm just glad to come
Speaker 4: home to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you get to your own little time, your own
Speaker 2: little holiday acknowledgement.
Speaker 5: But it's time for a new year, and I'm ready.
Speaker 5: You know what a good way to start it this
Speaker 5: year in us turning over new leaves and making new
Speaker 5: promises that we might not keep.
Speaker 4: Is with today's guests.
Speaker 2: I mean I was going to say I'm glad that
Speaker 2: today's guest is here with us to really unpack and
Speaker 2: go through all of these holiday questions observances. What's right,
Speaker 2: what's hot, what's not?
Speaker 3: For twenty twenty three, what's.
Speaker 4: Hot and what's not right? Oh, that's a lot of pressure.
Speaker 2: Who better than this woman who has played clubs and
Speaker 2: colleges all over this country. And I know her from
Speaker 2: several jobs that I've worked that she has worked with me.
Speaker 2: You know her from many many comedy shows that you
Speaker 2: have done, probably around town. Our listeners might know her from. Oh,
Speaker 2: she was on the TBS series The Dress Up Gag,
Speaker 2: The Best Show. It's a real good sketch show. She's
Speaker 2: done all kinds of things. And if you don't know
Speaker 2: her now, you will know her in the future. Ladies
Speaker 2: and gentlemen, please welcome the intimid intimidating, the intimidating, and
Speaker 2: formidable Miss Chase Bernstein.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Yeah, A lot of preser you guys so much
Speaker 5: right off the bat, A lot of pressure.
Speaker 1: It's an honor and I'm up for I'm up to
Speaker 1: the challenge.
Speaker 4: Chase's hot this year? What's hot?
Speaker 3: And what's not? Chase?
Speaker 5: Wow?
Speaker 1: I mean I have a lot of I liked the
Speaker 1: Christmas tree opening. I thought it was like actually impeccably.
Speaker 4: Timed, thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I actually saw a Christmas tree on someone's
Speaker 1: you know, on their law and the other day and
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, forgot about those already. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's like it's not even that late, and I was
Speaker 1: like shocked to see it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, mine's more of a celebration of just festivity. It's
Speaker 5: really a confused someone would walk in and not know
Speaker 5: my beliefs, which I don't really have any, and so
Speaker 5: it's a good representation. It's also where I charge my
Speaker 5: Apple Watch.
Speaker 2: But I think what you're talking about chase of like
Speaker 2: seeing the refuse aspect of getting a Christmas tree is
Speaker 2: really what prevents me because you have to have a plan.
Speaker 3: A load in, a load out.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of moving parts that I think there are,
Speaker 2: Like there are moms and aunts and grandmas that have
Speaker 2: done it so many times it's no big deal to them,
Speaker 2: But like to me, I'm like, can I even afford
Speaker 2: to get involved this year?
Speaker 4: Yeah? It is rushing.
Speaker 1: I ask right to get in the pool this late
Speaker 1: in the party, It's like people are getting out of
Speaker 1: the pool and you're just trying to get in.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's already a bunch of pea in there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and this lawsuit is weird.
Speaker 5: Yeah, just one sand suit and a band aid. It
Speaker 5: is depressing. Yeah, the whole it's like putting down a pet.
Speaker 5: Not really, but the second week of January, like in
Speaker 5: my hometown, everyone everyone just knew to drop it off
Speaker 5: in the parking lot of my old high school and
Speaker 5: there was just a pile of deceased trees and it
Speaker 5: was a real bummer.
Speaker 4: There's still tinsel blowing in the wind.
Speaker 1: Why at your high school parking lot?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Why are they gathering for like a bonfire? It's just
Speaker 1: like this is the spot.
Speaker 5: It doubles into the big graduation bonfire. Come graduation time,
Speaker 5: that thing lights up. There's been a lot of deaths.
Speaker 2: It's an out of control fire for teenagers to come
Speaker 2: and drink around.
Speaker 4: What could go wrong? Yeah, it is a bummer though.
Speaker 2: It's well, it's also it's a harsh turn because you know,
Speaker 2: right after Thanksgiving it is this sacred you know, I
Speaker 2: think very American. It's become very americanized. It's almost like
Speaker 2: multi denominational. Everyone kind of gets in on it. It's
Speaker 2: like it's Christmas or the holidays however you want to
Speaker 2: approach it. But Christmas trees and that kind of like
Speaker 2: here's we're going to represent it. It's there's a certain
Speaker 2: preciousness to it that, like, truly on the twenty ninth
Speaker 2: for some people is like throw that fucking thing out
Speaker 2: of this house and act like it was never in there.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: It ms is so fast, Yeah, Like it just changes
Speaker 1: so fast, and it's like, yeah, seeing them out on
Speaker 1: the street, it's like, even if it's not symbolic, it
Speaker 1: is like it just can't help but feel symbolic.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: It's just heavy sometimes when you're just you know, I'm
Speaker 1: walking my dog, like I'm not trying to see this right.
Speaker 2: Now, yesterday's news like this town is. But Chase, Yeah,
Speaker 2: let us wish you a happy birthday belated.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, thank you.
Speaker 2: It was Chase's birthday. And the only reason I knew
Speaker 2: is because I listened to her podcast that I absolutely
Speaker 2: adore Chase Burnstein composed, and you told a story about
Speaker 2: that fucking story almost texted you.
Speaker 3: I'm like, just talk to her about it on the
Speaker 3: show tomorrow.
Speaker 2: But Chase, will you please tell for Chris the story
Speaker 2: of Chase wanted to go home from the Arizona Club.
Speaker 2: She was playing Tempy Abrova and she wanted to get home,
Speaker 2: which is like an hour and a half flight or whatever.
Speaker 2: But they had gotten her a cake. So will you
Speaker 2: just it was really a hilarious chunk of time. I'm
Speaker 2: on your podcast where you told that story.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I mean, yeah, this was this was
Speaker 1: a roller coaster. I honestly just started processing it today,
Speaker 1: like today's Wednesday. This happened Sunday evening, and it just
Speaker 1: like it really hit me today. I mean basically, I
Speaker 1: was at the Tempi Improv. It was my birthday, so
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, there's one seven o'clock show. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to fly back to Burban that night, you know,
Speaker 1: and just have like an LA touchdown on my birthday.
Speaker 1: And the Tempi Improv Above and Beyond got me a cake.
Speaker 1: They did bring it out to me on stage. It
Speaker 1: was so embarrassing. Wow, as you can imagine.
Speaker 4: Like at the after your closer, yeah, oh wow, it.
Speaker 3: Was your favorite stay here for three more minutes and no.
Speaker 1: But it was also yeah that because I was trying
Speaker 1: to get to the airport. But it was also like
Speaker 1: when they got to the park with my name. Like
Speaker 1: these people that I just you know, absolutely dazzled for
Speaker 1: the last twenty five minutes, didn't even know my name.
Speaker 1: Like they were just like they were like, who are you?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, why are you acting like we didn't
Speaker 1: just have this time?
Speaker 5: Oh that is so horrifying because we all think about that,
Speaker 5: even if you have a good set.
Speaker 4: They're like they don't know who I am exactly.
Speaker 5: It was so real, and the whole audience sang man
Speaker 5: and they're like, bitch, yeah, they.
Speaker 1: Had no idea. But so I was like, yeah, they
Speaker 1: gave me the cake. As I was leaving to go
Speaker 1: to the airport. I took two hefty slices a vanilla
Speaker 1: cake with frosting, nothing crazy, and one for the plane,
Speaker 1: one for the one for like maybe the ride there.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Like I was just like I want
Speaker 1: to take more than I think I need. I put
Speaker 1: it in a flimsy container, but like you think that's relevant,
Speaker 1: it's actually not okay, So it's in the container. I
Speaker 1: go to the Phoenix Airport. There's no one there. It's
Speaker 1: a ghost town. It's Sunday night. I put my cake
Speaker 1: through the security machine and a bin on its own.
Speaker 1: They go separate it and I'm like, okay, I separate it.
Speaker 1: I don't know how much of this you wanted me
Speaker 1: to tell Kreen. She's like, just get to the cake.
Speaker 3: Come then you're there.
Speaker 4: No, you're there, You're you're doing it. You're doing it well.
Speaker 1: So yeah, So then I, since there was no one there,
Speaker 1: I just decided to opt out of the you know
Speaker 1: machine with who knows what's in it, you know, the
Speaker 1: where you put your hands up. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'll do a manual one, like I'll just do a
Speaker 1: pat down, so you know, it always takes forever. I
Speaker 1: was instantly regretting it. I was like, it could have
Speaker 1: been gone by now. I could have been done with
Speaker 1: this whatever. The woman finally comes, she's like, okay, come
Speaker 1: with me, like where's your stuff? Like, get your stuff?
Speaker 1: And I just hear I hear all these airport employees
Speaker 1: whispering like they're sort of like it's very hush hush,
Speaker 1: and they're.
Speaker 4: Like the cake, like the cake, Oh.
Speaker 1: No, the cake, And I'm like, I'm truly hearing it
Speaker 1: from another dimension, but I'm just like vaguely recognized that
Speaker 1: I had a cake and I'm the only person there.
Speaker 1: I look. My cake as spilled all over the security ramp,
Speaker 1: like it's there's frosting everywhere, like truly on everyone, like
Speaker 1: on people's gloves, on my suitcase, on the machine. Yet
Speaker 1: it's everywhere, and there's a whole slice just like the
Speaker 1: thing's moving and it's stuck, so it's just like chunk
Speaker 1: of cake and they're like, oh, you're I was like,
Speaker 1: is that my cake? Like I don't even know what
Speaker 1: I said, Like I was just kind of observing it.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, should I like say something because
Speaker 1: it's like I don't even know what can be done now.
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, it fell. I don't know. And my
Speaker 1: sister presented a good point. She's like, were they.
Speaker 3: Mad at you?
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, I don't think
Speaker 1: they were. I think they were mad at themselves because
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 3: I just have to get out of there.
Speaker 1: I don't know how their take fell. Yeah, and then yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just like I took my other slice. But
Speaker 1: then I was like, wait did this slice fall? And
Speaker 1: no one like really knew, So then I just ended
Speaker 1: up throwing the entire thing away.
Speaker 2: There was frosting on the flaps of yeah where the
Speaker 2: gray the gray bin comes through.
Speaker 1: I don't know how why so much frosting got out,
Speaker 1: Like it's like I had like it shouldn't have been
Speaker 1: everywhere that it was.
Speaker 5: Well, it was just crazy once it goes into that
Speaker 5: that tunnel with no windows, like you said, when you
Speaker 5: go in the X ray machine, you don't know what's
Speaker 5: really in there. Robots are grabbing things opening looking like
Speaker 5: these rope these cartoon gloves on hinges are just looking
Speaker 5: for bombs. And classically you hide the most nefarious things
Speaker 5: a cake.
Speaker 4: That's the only reason to bring a cake to prison.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so they tackled that thing and then went tried
Speaker 5: to blame you and their their little robot security arms
Speaker 5: TSA doesn't ever want to take responsibility.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean they Yeah, it was truly just like
Speaker 1: we all long like there was no and it's like
Speaker 1: it was so weird because when I was at the club,
Speaker 1: a part of me knew, like I'm not going to
Speaker 1: eat this cake, like I somehow knew that, like I
Speaker 1: didn't know that was going to happen, But I was
Speaker 1: just like I can't picture like getting back home and
Speaker 1: just like eating this.
Speaker 4: So I don't know, no, but you had to because
Speaker 4: they gave you a cake.
Speaker 5: Yeah, how insane would it be to receive a cake
Speaker 5: and be like, oh I don't want any I.
Speaker 4: Mean I did want.
Speaker 3: You're just immediately denying the cake and like thank yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm just like not responding, but like, do you want
Speaker 1: to take a slice? And like, okay, thank you guys
Speaker 1: so much, it's been a great weekend. They're like, do
Speaker 1: you want the cake? I'm like, all right, so I
Speaker 1: took some Fiji's hope. That's okay. That's answer.
Speaker 4: That is thoughtful, though.
Speaker 5: I anytime I've been to that Tempe Improv it's weird
Speaker 5: because when I worked there, there was a maybe it's
Speaker 5: because he's opening for Silverman. No, when I, uh the bartender,
Speaker 5: I was making my ties. You know who did work
Speaker 5: there is the old booker of the comedy store. Yeah,
Speaker 5: what's his name again? He had a podcast with Norm MacDonald.
Speaker 5: I forget his name, Adam. He was like a waiter
Speaker 5: there and he made me like a mixtape. Everyone there
Speaker 5: was so nice and they wanted to go across the
Speaker 5: parking lot to six Shooters and I'm like, why is
Speaker 5: the staff so cool here?
Speaker 4: They're like, Hey, we're having a party and it's because
Speaker 4: of you.
Speaker 5: After the show tomorrow, every time I went there, and
Speaker 5: then oddly the owner of that club was like, I
Speaker 5: don't like the staff hanging out with the comics.
Speaker 4: He had like a rule.
Speaker 5: It was a was such an example of like this
Speaker 5: comes out of rebellion that I don't think they even
Speaker 5: want to hang out with me. They were just hanging
Speaker 5: out with me because their boss told them not to.
Speaker 5: But I've had so much fun at that improv that
Speaker 5: I'm talking years ago.
Speaker 4: But yeah, that makes me.
Speaker 5: It's the times I've been given a birthday cake. It's
Speaker 5: so nice. I it's such a sweet gesture.
Speaker 3: Well, also, if.
Speaker 2: You knew, if our audience knew Chase Bernstein like as
Speaker 2: well as I do, knowing how easy it is to
Speaker 2: embarrass Chase, like Chase is mortified by almost everything that
Speaker 2: she does in life, and like just like literally like
Speaker 2: if we're at you know, Swingers and she has to
Speaker 2: ask for ketchup, it's like, oh my god, I have
Speaker 2: to talk to this guy about like everything. So when
Speaker 2: you told that story of looking over and frosting coming
Speaker 2: out of every part of that machine, and you use
Speaker 2: like I think you just said it this time, but
Speaker 2: it's like you just kind of couldn't process it. Is
Speaker 2: like you're just staring at this simple idea of I'm
Speaker 2: going to take some birthday cake home, yeah, to celebrate
Speaker 2: my birthday, and now it's been smeared across the airport.
Speaker 3: Oh, I've really humiliated.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really made a mark on the Phoenix airport.
Speaker 1: I mean I honestly wasn't even embarrassed. I was just like,
Speaker 1: I just like felt nothing, like I just like saw
Speaker 1: the cake and I was just like whatever. Like I
Speaker 1: was like, cause I did take two bites. Maybe I
Speaker 1: took two bytes before I left the club, and it
Speaker 1: was all right. The cake was not as good as
Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna be when I bid it,
Speaker 1: And I'm just thinking now maybe if I had liked
Speaker 1: the cake more, I would have felt more. But I
Speaker 1: saw it spill and I was just like, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like a decent cake at best. Like whatever, you.
Speaker 2: Know, whatever by this has been lost. I always have
Speaker 2: that thought of like if you're gonna eat a dessert.
Speaker 2: I'm always like, if somebody offers me a cake, it's
Speaker 2: a very specific situation where I would say yes, because
Speaker 2: I'm always like, well, I'd rather eat candy or I'd
Speaker 2: rather eat a sweet thing that I really like, because
Speaker 2: cake rarely does it for me in that way. So
Speaker 2: the idea of then you're like trying to make the
Speaker 2: best of a cake situation and it literally explodes on
Speaker 2: you when it's not even like anyone's number one, you know,
Speaker 2: birthday I eat.
Speaker 3: The idea of it is just going for it, I know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like cakes are hidden miss, but
Speaker 1: I feel like there's some really high highs with cake,
Speaker 1: like having you ever had just like a perfectly moist
Speaker 1: like it's just everything's working and you're like, oh yeah, cake.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 2: It's almost like when you watch the Great British Bakeoff
Speaker 2: and they're like like the bake on this is perfect,
Speaker 2: this this sponge isn't good, or this where you're like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, there's so much American cake that would
Speaker 2: never pass the muster on the Great British Bakeoff, where
Speaker 2: they're like their standards are insane. Here, our standards are
Speaker 2: like people are like have you ever had the Costco cake?
Speaker 2: Or you're just like, really, is that the best we
Speaker 2: can do per cake?
Speaker 4: But it is good.
Speaker 1: It is good. But I think that's why ice cream
Speaker 1: cake is always the move. Is that true?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yep, okay, especially when getting on an airplane.
Speaker 5: Imagine if it was ice so was it tumbling on
Speaker 5: those on those conveyor rollers.
Speaker 1: So there were two slices, only one of them fell
Speaker 1: and it was just kind of caught like it was
Speaker 1: like like it was pasted, like it was at the end,
Speaker 1: like on the metal sort of bar, and like it
Speaker 1: was stuck. I didn't even see anyone clean it up,
Speaker 1: Like I seriously just didn't see it. Like I saw it.
Speaker 1: I heard them talking about it, I just didn't really
Speaker 1: follow it. And then there was one slice that was
Speaker 1: perfectly still in the container, and so I was just like,
Speaker 1: how did one slice come out? It's just there's so
Speaker 1: many questions.
Speaker 5: Was it one of these thin, clear plastic containers that
Speaker 5: like when they open, it's like spring loaded with those
Speaker 5: cheap containers.
Speaker 1: Okay, I know what you're talking about. I just felt it,
Speaker 1: but no, it's not that it was. It's the one
Speaker 1: that is the foil bottom and a plastic top that
Speaker 1: you have to like peel the foil on top of
Speaker 1: the plastic.
Speaker 5: You know, right right, and exactly the top lunches off
Speaker 5: like a top hat in the wind.
Speaker 2: But still, what's the wind inside that machine? So do
Speaker 2: you get that thing?
Speaker 5: Every once in a while, all my belongings are come
Speaker 5: out in the trays and then I have one boot
Speaker 5: kicking around like what grabbed my boot and threw it
Speaker 5: ten passengers back? Just a tumbling boot filled also.
Speaker 4: With cake.
Speaker 3: Boot cake.
Speaker 2: It's like when you cut into the boot, it is cake. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that new trim.
Speaker 3: Yes hot or not? For twenty three I know what
Speaker 3: you're talking about. Things that are cake.
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Is this cake or is it a real boot? And
Speaker 5: they cut into it and then I noticed three hours
Speaker 5: have passed and I'm just watching my phone. I can't stop.
Speaker 5: Let let's talk about that a little bit. The things
Speaker 5: that my my phone thinks. I want to see cars
Speaker 5: in an intersection drifting and hitting people. There's people that
Speaker 5: It's like a bizarre trend that keeps happening to where
Speaker 5: now we're like, I will let this car hip check
Speaker 5: me and launch me into this crowd of people. It
Speaker 5: sounds like I'm making it up. I've seen it so
Speaker 5: much now I'm not even traumatized by it. So people
Speaker 5: doing cookies for lack of a more modern term. I'm
Speaker 5: from the fifties. And then someone's a bystander standing too
Speaker 5: close and they get hit by a car and fall down,
Speaker 5: and then they get up and that's the end of
Speaker 5: the video.
Speaker 2: Don't you say doing cookies? Do you mean doing donuts?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, where I come from, it's called a cookie. Oh yeah.
Speaker 5: Donuts are more like the whole car is going around
Speaker 5: a small circle. A cookie is the front wheels are stationary,
Speaker 5: providing no negative space. I hate getting caught in a lie.
Speaker 5: And then lawn care videos. There's this guy that goes
Speaker 5: door to door and se, hey, I'd like to do
Speaker 5: your lawn for free. And it is the most satisfying
Speaker 5: hymn powerwashing like a hoarder's front yard and making the
Speaker 5: cement all pristine and edging the lawn. And then some
Speaker 5: old guy comes out in suspenders and starts crying because
Speaker 5: this lawn hasn't looked this good for thirty years. I
Speaker 5: can't stop watching that. Those are the best that makes sense,
Speaker 5: that that's like a charitable thing, that's like mister Beast
Speaker 5: or the you know, recess therapy.
Speaker 4: I search for sweet things that make me feel good.
Speaker 2: About, you know, it's another really good one on in
Speaker 2: the is I have gone from the lawn care videos,
Speaker 2: which I love, Yes, because sometimes those front.
Speaker 3: Yards are in they look like a jungle.
Speaker 2: Yes, And when that guy leaves with this justice weed whacker, Yes,
Speaker 2: it looks like a little house with a beautiful a
Speaker 2: front yard again and it's and they do it for
Speaker 2: free and it's lovely. And in the beginning when they
Speaker 2: knock on the door, they go, I want to do this,
Speaker 2: and they're like, how much does it cost? And it's
Speaker 2: some old person and that's like, you're not gonna rip
Speaker 2: me off. And then they're like, it's all for free
Speaker 2: and they don't believe it, and they don't believe it.
Speaker 2: And then three hours later it's this They're like crying
Speaker 2: and it's beautiful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 5: I just recently, it's been the last couple of months.
Speaker 4: It's a YouTube guy.
Speaker 5: But then he put all this stuff on Instagram and
Speaker 5: I the world wants me to see it, along with
Speaker 5: these card fatalities.
Speaker 2: So the next level up from the front yard guy,
Speaker 2: there's a guy that goes around with the rake and
Speaker 2: clears big like if there's a huge puddle on the street.
Speaker 2: He goes and finds the clogged drain and scrapes on
Speaker 2: the drain until it starts draining and basically gets rid
Speaker 2: of excess water in on a roadway is.
Speaker 4: Think called the flood fighter.
Speaker 2: He should he should be, but that is for some
Speaker 2: reason so satisfying. When it's like basically like a drain
Speaker 2: that's just covered with leaves, it's very simple, just solve
Speaker 2: this huge problem where all these people are driving way
Speaker 2: around it and all this stuff. And then he just
Speaker 2: comes up and like to say, it's right here, and
Speaker 2: then he clears it and it is the best. And
Speaker 2: he's also not getting paid.
Speaker 4: Wow. Yeah, Chase, what's your most satisfying? I got this
Speaker 4: series of.
Speaker 3: Videos, your version of this video, Chase.
Speaker 1: You know, all my tiktoks I get just kind of
Speaker 1: curated by my sister. So I'm just like whatever she
Speaker 1: sends me, That's what I'm watching. But I do love
Speaker 1: I mean, I know everyone does. But Emily Merico do
Speaker 1: you know her?
Speaker 2: She do?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, she she cooks, but she does it.
Speaker 1: The only sound is like of the food and the
Speaker 1: crunching and the cutting and of the pant like she's
Speaker 1: not being like then I add some shallots like we don't.
Speaker 1: She doesn't say a peep like it's so and everything
Speaker 1: she makes looks so good. She's like really meticulous and
Speaker 1: just like she does everything right. She cuts no corners,
Speaker 1: like she'll just make her and her fiance like a
Speaker 1: three course like lunch, just like it's Tuesday, and it's
Speaker 1: just so satisfying.
Speaker 5: Watch I don't understand the world of ASMR, but is
Speaker 5: there a little bit of that?
Speaker 4: And maybe if you pull me into that world.
Speaker 1: It's phenomenal. Just the crunching of some carrots celery, the
Speaker 1: pans sizzling. I mean, it's unreal, the acoustics in her place.
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you're learning, like you could make
Speaker 2: the thing that you've watched her make?
Speaker 1: Yes, I do. I haven't, but I do.
Speaker 3: The potential is there?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's just the catalyst. Is you know one
Speaker 5: of these in house fiances.
Speaker 3: She's unreal. I would check her out. The way it's
Speaker 3: edited it.
Speaker 2: She makes it look super simple because it's like right now, well,
Speaker 2: the ones that I watch, I haven't seen her, but
Speaker 2: there's other people are like, do you want to make
Speaker 2: an easy fun gumbo?
Speaker 3: And then it's like and it's like super cut.
Speaker 2: It's right, Cuddy where it's like butter in the pan,
Speaker 2: onions in the panting thing, and it's her process, but
Speaker 2: it makes it. She does it in sixty seconds instead
Speaker 2: of four hours.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I kind of want to see the whole four hours.
Speaker 1: Just love me get a feel for this.
Speaker 5: Have you seen that amazing Gumbo documentary.
Speaker 4: Start to finish, Edge of My Seat.
Speaker 3: The new Netflix series.
Speaker 2: It's a six part Gumbo drama. It's a family drama.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: When I was scrambling to find things to do during quarantine,
Speaker 5: I was making miniature houses and making cooking videos and
Speaker 5: pacing back and forth. That was less productive, but I
Speaker 5: people responded to the cooking things in a way, even
Speaker 5: though I'm just saying I'm getting frustrated and burning things
Speaker 5: kind of on purpose. And that's why I quit making
Speaker 5: the videos because I'm like, oh, I'm wasting food. I
Speaker 5: need to actually pay attention. It's hard to I was
Speaker 5: holding a phone by hand. I didn't even have a tripod,
Speaker 5: so that was part of the shaky video. I guess
Speaker 5: made people like it, but I yeah, there's something people
Speaker 5: want to see a process, even if it doesn't end
Speaker 5: up perfect, like there's something painting.
Speaker 4: I watch people paint.
Speaker 5: Yeah, from the underpainting, the drawing on the camp and
Speaker 5: it's sped up, and I it does something if endorphins
Speaker 5: maybe definitely.
Speaker 3: I like it's satisfying.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it gets me, it's endorphins. It amps me up.
Speaker 5: A lot of these cooking videos are like bungee jumping
Speaker 5: for me.
Speaker 2: Melt butter in a pan with diced onions, and that's
Speaker 2: where my adrenaline comes from.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I minced garlet. Yeah, and that's my ex spying
Speaker 1: in a paint. Oh my god.
Speaker 5: Speaking of extreme sports, Chase, I think you posted it recently,
Speaker 5: and I think it's from Dress Up Gang.
Speaker 4: But that clip you posted with Kevin nelan.
Speaker 2: Blowdart, what was he calling it, oh, blasting darts?
Speaker 5: I had just taken out a context that like, I'm
Speaker 5: assuming he's your blow dart coach.
Speaker 4: It was.
Speaker 5: I love him so much and I'm jealous of anyone
Speaker 5: that gets to be around him. I remember hearing secondhand
Speaker 5: stories from Henry Phillips, who went to these poker nights.
Speaker 5: Another reason that I should start playing poker. I don't
Speaker 5: know how to play poker, but he would just quote
Speaker 5: things Kevin said, while they were playing poker, just these
Speaker 5: perfect funny jokes and he had set up the situation
Speaker 5: and what Kevin said.
Speaker 4: I would get these stories every week.
Speaker 5: So I feel like, in a weird way, I've played
Speaker 5: poker with Kevin Elan and now I feel like I'm
Speaker 5: blasted darts with him.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he's so easy. She's just so effortless. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but that's actually not a dress up Gang video.
Speaker 4: That's just okay.
Speaker 1: Sometimes me and Donnie do like spin offs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was just shot and that shows it's.
Speaker 1: The same rob who does Who's the address up Gang?
Speaker 1: Does them too?
Speaker 5: Yeah, it has such a great look. I love those
Speaker 5: videos so much. I was I am everyone involved. I
Speaker 5: was always like said, I'm like, I really like the
Speaker 5: new video, Like I'm a serious.
Speaker 1: Fan of Oh I know, I mean me too, Like
Speaker 1: I'm just like it's obviously i'm biased, but I'm just
Speaker 1: like they're all so good.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And to see Frankie quinonas bust Out on This Fool
Speaker 2: so uh you know, listener, if you haven't seen the
Speaker 2: Hulu series This Fool, it's Chris Ostrada, who's a stand
Speaker 2: up comic and that a lot of us know.
Speaker 3: I mean I actually don't, but other people do.
Speaker 2: And I'm going to talk about the Royal we But
Speaker 2: then the co stars Frankie Quinonas who's also in the
Speaker 2: Dress Up Gang and who's this hilarious stand up comic,
Speaker 2: and he is like the breakout star of that show.
Speaker 2: People fucking love that guy and it's so wonderful to
Speaker 2: see him succeed. Like he's just so good on that
Speaker 2: show and he so deserves it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, everyone is so good on it.
Speaker 5: I don't know that I have a least favorite character
Speaker 5: on that show.
Speaker 1: I know, I know they're all better than the next.
Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody wins, everybody on it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, when was that on?
Speaker 5: Of course I don't get the superstation WTBS.
Speaker 4: That's what it was called.
Speaker 5: But that's when it just played Gilligan's Island at my
Speaker 5: Grandma's house, only my grandma's house. You had to come over.
Speaker 5: But I what happened to it? I want it to
Speaker 5: be a show? Do I have to write a letter?
Speaker 4: I know? People?
Speaker 2: I know?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean definitely pens something. I mean, whatever whatever
Speaker 1: is in your feeling. It's on the TBS app. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can watch the whole season. But they also have
Speaker 1: a lot of them on their YouTube channel dress Up
Speaker 1: Gang sort of and TikTok on the Dam Yeah, as
Speaker 1: well as TikTok.
Speaker 5: But and it works in that format, like those short
Speaker 5: moments just taken out of context are Yeah.
Speaker 1: I know it's been it's been fun to see them,
Speaker 1: like because this whole scene is fun and the pace,
Speaker 1: but then it's like it's also just funny, just a
Speaker 1: random part of it.
Speaker 5: I love anything where the steaks are high and and
Speaker 5: it's kind of tense, but it's really nothing. It's about
Speaker 5: why are you tucking in your shirt when no one
Speaker 5: else in the house is like yeah, and they all
Speaker 5: have to have a talk about it like they're family.
Speaker 5: It's so funny to me, just how random it is
Speaker 5: for very much lack of a better word, I'm sorry,
Speaker 5: I said random literally so random, you guys, but it's
Speaker 5: so great.
Speaker 4: I just I love it now.
Speaker 2: James, Yeah, let's refocus on Chase please instead of being
Speaker 2: safe and talking about Chase's on that show.
Speaker 1: I know, I don't think myself is on the show,
Speaker 1: like I'm in very briefly. So it's like I when
Speaker 1: people think they have to include me in dress up game,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not in it like it's their thing.
Speaker 1: So when I even talk about it, I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: not talking about myself, I'm talking about them. That's how
Speaker 1: I feel about it.
Speaker 3: But it is really good.
Speaker 2: It's it's exciting to know people that do something well
Speaker 2: and they really nailed it, and they wherever that ends
Speaker 2: up being it, it continues to be a success. But Chase,
Speaker 2: for you, you're doing sets around town being mistaken for
Speaker 2: Jade Katapretta I believe her name is. That was one
Speaker 2: of my favorite fucking there was like a show and
Speaker 2: they're like and it was like, and here's all the
Speaker 2: people that are gonna be on the show?
Speaker 3: Was that at the laugh backt it was.
Speaker 2: They used a different female comics headshot for Chase's headshot,
Speaker 2: and it made me laugh.
Speaker 3: So fucking hard. It was so fucking funny.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that was really funny. I mean, I
Speaker 1: guess it's not like, you know, we both have dark hair,
Speaker 1: dark eyes. It's not like so crazy, but.
Speaker 3: No, you look alike.
Speaker 1: It was a different person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a completely different Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just kind of reeling from that. I think that
Speaker 1: was a few years ago and still reeling still.
Speaker 5: Really really yeah, they did that to me at Flappers
Speaker 5: once and it was also, uh, just a female comments that.
Speaker 4: When I had that dark Yeah.
Speaker 1: Wait was it on the flyer?
Speaker 5: Yeah, it just said Chris Fairbanks and it was under
Speaker 5: someone's head shot and it.
Speaker 4: Was a girl I've never met, and I laughed so hard.
Speaker 5: That's amazing, And no one actually works there when you're
Speaker 5: doing that club, It's like, well, I don't I could
Speaker 5: show this to someone in the kitchen, but I don't.
Speaker 4: Think anything's going to be done about it. And it
Speaker 4: was like my I was supposed to be headlining.
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean, it's all so humbling.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's one time someone sent me a screenshot of my
Speaker 2: IMDb page and instead of a picture of me on there,
Speaker 2: there was a picture of mary Lynn Rice Cub on
Speaker 2: a red carpet and that one I think it was
Speaker 2: Page that sent it to me, and she's like, okay,
Speaker 2: so you need to get someone on on your IMDb,
Speaker 2: where I was just like, first of all, I didn't
Speaker 2: know I had an IMBAB page, and then the idea
Speaker 2: that someone set it up for me that incorrectly.
Speaker 1: That's so funny.
Speaker 3: I don't know other people do it.
Speaker 1: I know, I mean, I don't know how I have one.
Speaker 1: A lot of it's wrong.
Speaker 5: I for some reason, I feel like that's where people
Speaker 5: because when someone says I write on this, I do this.
Speaker 4: I'm an actor.
Speaker 5: It's a perfect place to see if someone's full of
Speaker 5: shit because it's really going to be up there. And
Speaker 5: so everything I've ever done, even if it's not up there,
Speaker 5: I submit it in there, like I'm just admitting that
Speaker 5: right now. I care about what strangers think, to the
Speaker 5: point where I, well, i've uploaded photos.
Speaker 1: Well, also you just wanted to be accurate.
Speaker 4: Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: One of control. It's like, my mine's a mess. Like
Speaker 1: I'm just like, who approved this? I don't even know
Speaker 1: if this is for me, Like some of it's right,
Speaker 1: but some of it I'm like, I think this is
Speaker 1: two different people like combined into one.
Speaker 3: Is it for you or against you? That's the real
Speaker 3: question you have to I mean, forgot what.
Speaker 1: I am getting, but it's not doing much for me.
Speaker 5: Well, it's against admitting that I was a snowboarder in
Speaker 5: the nineteen ninety seven film Jack Frost.
Speaker 4: I'll tell you that. And I've tried.
Speaker 5: To submit that three times because I think it's funner, funny,
Speaker 5: funner than fun Oh oh god.
Speaker 4: So they yeah, they won't. It says, okay, it's under review.
Speaker 1: Are you under are you.
Speaker 2: Not credited in the movie itself? Maybe they do it
Speaker 2: based on credit.
Speaker 5: Right and I I watched the credits. They do not
Speaker 5: even credit the stunts at all. There are no snowboarders listed.
Speaker 5: That was just a random day.
Speaker 2: I've seen this a bunch of times on IMDb. What
Speaker 2: if you resubmit and then put next to your name uncredited?
Speaker 4: Oh wow, I did not get it that.
Speaker 3: Because I've seen that before.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just want it just because I think it's funny.
Speaker 5: It's like what I hadn't even started doing comedy yet.
Speaker 5: That's when all I was doing was snowboarding or had
Speaker 5: you Maybe maybe it is comedic to snowboard down the
Speaker 5: hill with just a man with a tennis ball at
Speaker 5: the end of a stick above his head, pretending it's
Speaker 5: a snowman.
Speaker 4: Like, what movie is this?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 1: I got to check that out.
Speaker 5: It's I watched it this Christmas, as I do every Christmas.
Speaker 5: It's my It's a wonderful life and uh oh, I
Speaker 5: cannot tell which guy I was.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just a bunch of kids snowboarding.
Speaker 2: You know what's funny, We rewatched as a family together
Speaker 2: because we did know this Christmas, we did know family anything.
Speaker 2: It was me and my sister, my dad and Nora.
Speaker 2: We had a turkey dinner sitting on the couch watching TV,
Speaker 2: which in our family is like not allowed, like you know,
Speaker 2: it has to there's always a formal dinner at some
Speaker 2: relative's house or not formal, but sitting on the couch
Speaker 2: and eating a Christmas dinner. Just like if you had
Speaker 2: asked me years ago, would you would this ever happen
Speaker 2: her family, I'd be like, absolutely not. And we got
Speaker 2: to do it this year, so it was kind of
Speaker 2: like fun and whatever, And we rewatched Elf. That movie
Speaker 2: is so fucking entertaining. It holds up. Every moment of
Speaker 2: it holds up. And there is a part in it
Speaker 2: where he meets that little girl who's in.
Speaker 3: The doctor's office with him. Do you remember the part
Speaker 3: where he.
Speaker 2: Eats cotton balls and she giggles and he says, I'm buddy,
Speaker 2: I'm an elf with human parents, And she's like, I'm Carolyne,
Speaker 2: human with human parents.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and she's the most real little girl.
Speaker 2: It's like you want to cry and she appears like
Speaker 2: a couple times in the movie, like and me and
Speaker 2: my sister like this Lord, little Girl's baking me cry.
Speaker 2: Like we had a full holiday moment as a family
Speaker 2: watching the movie Elf, and I was like, if when
Speaker 2: you get a holiday movie right where you can replay
Speaker 2: it on the superstation TBS every year, like it's really
Speaker 2: saying something.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it didn't speak to me when it came out,
Speaker 5: but it certainly has spoken to me in the years since.
Speaker 4: Wow, it's grown on me.
Speaker 2: Bye Buddy, Hope you find your dad. The funniest thing
Speaker 2: of all time playmation Narwhale.
Speaker 4: Also, there is a The Movies That Made Us.
Speaker 5: It's this thing on Netflix where they talk about films
Speaker 5: that were popular for whatever reason. They show how a
Speaker 5: lot of those scenes were shot, like and it is
Speaker 5: just perspective, Like they do a weird Willy Wonka way
Speaker 5: of shooting things where there wasn't special effects being used.
Speaker 5: When Bob Newhart was tiny and on his shoulders, he
Speaker 5: was simply ten feet behind him, and they lined it
Speaker 5: up and had little fake hands on his shoulders. And
Speaker 5: when you see how they shot that movie, it makes
Speaker 5: you want to watch it again because it's insane him
Speaker 5: as a large elf. They didn't shrink people down, it's
Speaker 5: just perspective, like the camera tricks.
Speaker 4: It's so cool to see that. Yeah, I love I
Speaker 4: love the way was made filmatically Chase Zoom.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: What's your favorite holiday film or tradition around the holidays
Speaker 2: that you like to revisit?
Speaker 1: Well, the past few years, I guess since it came out.
Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't mean for this to be a tradition,
Speaker 1: but I because Emily in Paris keeps coming out, like
Speaker 1: a few days before Christmas, and I cannot stop watching
Speaker 1: the show, this show, and for the past three years,
Speaker 1: that's what I've done before Christmas. So I'm like, I
Speaker 1: guess Emily in Paris is my tradition.
Speaker 3: Oh so it's like season two, Oh my god, now
Speaker 3: it's season three.
Speaker 1: Has just Season three dropped this past year, But like
Speaker 1: for the last three years, that's what I've been doing. Like,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, it's the holidays, Emily in Paris is
Speaker 1: coming and it's just so fun and easy. Like the
Speaker 1: episodes are so short. You can look away for four minutes,
Speaker 1: you can jump back in. You'll still get it. You
Speaker 1: will not be lost, like it doesn't require much and
Speaker 1: it's just it's perfect.
Speaker 3: And how is Emily in Paris? Is she getting by?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: Does she speak the language?
Speaker 4: She is?
Speaker 3: She a typical American? Yeah, tall, white, sox.
Speaker 1: All, she is a typical American. She's trying to learn French.
Speaker 1: She's been in class for about three seasons. She's not
Speaker 1: learning much. Okay, that's not really where her priorities are
Speaker 1: to learn French. She's just gotten by with English and
Speaker 1: just kind of charisma. But she you know, she she's
Speaker 1: a hard worker, she's a hustler. But she also it's
Speaker 1: getting caught up in a couple relationships. You know, it's
Speaker 1: just it's got a little bit of something for everyone.
Speaker 2: Are French relationships different than American relationships? Does she learn?
Speaker 2: Is there an eye opening kind of French? I'm assuming
Speaker 2: she's sis hetero. Yeah, she's having French men experiences.
Speaker 1: Yes, she's in love with this chef. But it's like
Speaker 1: he had a girlfriend and then they broke up, and
Speaker 1: then they got together, like they're trying to make them
Speaker 1: like Ross and Rachel, and it's like but no one cares,
Speaker 1: Like they get together, like it's like sure, but I
Speaker 1: don't know. And this guy is like that she loves
Speaker 1: I mean, I honestly makes me love him because he's
Speaker 1: so almost boring, Like he doesn't even lift a finger
Speaker 1: in his scenes. Like it's like it's like he's just
Speaker 1: running the lines to learn them, Like he's like I'll
Speaker 1: put emotion behind them later, and like it is actually
Speaker 1: like I kind of love it now because I'm like
Speaker 1: that's amazing. Like he's he'll just say a sentence. He's
Speaker 1: like what is this, Like it's not even close to
Speaker 1: being any emotion, and yet he's like the you know,
Speaker 1: the leading male interest.
Speaker 4: Is he an actor? Was he a real French chef?
Speaker 3: Really filming him like Bowfinger where he didn't know he
Speaker 3: was on a TV show.
Speaker 1: That's what I felt like, Like I really felt like they
Speaker 1: went up to him on the street and was like
Speaker 1: do you want to be in the show and he
Speaker 1: was like sure. But I think he is an actor.
Speaker 1: I don't think he is a chef, but he is
Speaker 1: very convincing as a chef. But yeah, it's just it's
Speaker 1: a simple albeit you know, sort of not I don't know.
Speaker 1: This last season had had some cracks, but I'm hoping
Speaker 1: that they're fixing it for next season for the next Christmas.
Speaker 3: Did em only go to Paris for work?
Speaker 1: Indeed she did? Yeah, yeah, left a fiance and her wake,
Speaker 1: you know, just just the whole classic thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, she's kind of a secretly start over.
Speaker 1: Yeah, left him in Chicago and.
Speaker 4: Yeah, have either of you been to Paris? Yes?
Speaker 3: I have not.
Speaker 1: Are you serious?
Speaker 5: Yes, I've been only to a handful of places Spain
Speaker 5: but for work, and then in England once for a
Speaker 5: few days.
Speaker 4: But I really want to go to Paris.
Speaker 1: Yeah, actually because you were just there, I know. I
Speaker 1: was like, I just went in September.
Speaker 5: Oh really yeah, because of Emily in Paris exactly.
Speaker 2: I wanted to re enactment you went to all the
Speaker 2: places she went.
Speaker 1: It's so weird. It's like, I actually didn't even think
Speaker 1: about that show once when I was there. I don't
Speaker 1: know how, like I guess because it's really only a
Speaker 1: holiday thing. It's like I watch it before Christmas and
Speaker 1: then I don't think about it again for the rest
Speaker 1: of the year. So I went in September and people
Speaker 1: were like, oh, like Emily in Paris, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, Like when I got that, I was like.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it really must not ask much of you when
Speaker 5: you watch that show if it doesn't even come up
Speaker 5: when you're there.
Speaker 3: No, it didn't.
Speaker 5: I don't know what I would go to that big
Speaker 5: round about from European vacation, I guess, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4: What I would see there that tower. Yeah, I just
Speaker 4: want to go there and eat bread and ride a bike.
Speaker 3: The fucking bread there.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like I was there in high school and it was
Speaker 2: on a trip where we went to a bunch of places,
Speaker 2: so I don't think I got the real, you know,
Speaker 2: any kind of a deep down French experience. It was
Speaker 2: like Paris. I think we were there for three days.
Speaker 2: We were just excited to be able to drink in
Speaker 2: our hotel rooms because we were we all had permission
Speaker 2: because we were all eighteen. But we were walking around.
Speaker 2: One day we went to the louver, like there were
Speaker 2: certain things we had to do, and then this one
Speaker 2: day they're like, okay, you're off. Once we did the
Speaker 2: things we had to do, they're like, you're off. You know,
Speaker 2: we meet back at the hotel for dinner at seven
Speaker 2: or something, and so we went walking around and we
Speaker 2: just walked around looking at like how amazing the city
Speaker 2: street were until we got hungry and we stopped at
Speaker 2: this just a cafe and we only knew how to
Speaker 2: order what the thing on the sign was. So it
Speaker 2: was like the classic salami and cheese on a baguette sandwich.
Speaker 3: There's your name for it.
Speaker 4: Do you know what?
Speaker 1: It's so good?
Speaker 2: It's so good, Like I don't like salami, and I'm
Speaker 2: really picky where I'm like, what kind of cheese is it?
Speaker 3: I didn't say shit.
Speaker 2: I was like one of those seafood play and they
Speaker 2: gave it to us. And we sat at this cafe
Speaker 2: table outside with like, you know, our cokes and these sandwiches,
Speaker 2: and we just stared at each other, going like, why
Speaker 2: is this bread so amazing? Why is this combination so amazing?
Speaker 2: What's happening? Why is this so good?
Speaker 5: It's so you were with the school kids or was
Speaker 5: this when you were in the Cia?
Speaker 3: It was school kids we were, so it was this.
Speaker 3: The trip was to Russia.
Speaker 2: We went to Russia in nineteen eighty seven when it
Speaker 2: was still the Cold War, and so we were in
Speaker 2: Russia for like a week and then we came back
Speaker 2: through Checkpoint Charlie from East Berlin to West Berlin. Then
Speaker 2: we stayed in Germany for three days. Then it was
Speaker 2: Paris for three days, London for like two days, and
Speaker 2: we came home. So they basically while we were there
Speaker 2: were like, well, you have to come through anyway to
Speaker 2: fly home from a like Western airport. So then they
Speaker 2: just they tack on a couple days of like see
Speaker 2: the sites in Berlin, see the sites in you know,
Speaker 2: Paris or whatever. And some of the kids in our
Speaker 2: class the worst mistake I ever made, They're like, oh,
Speaker 2: we're gonna go see you too tonight when we were
Speaker 2: in Paris, and I'm like, I don't want to go,
Speaker 2: and so they went.
Speaker 3: It was like Joshua Tree YouTube.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, like like truly the height of you too coolness.
Speaker 2: They went and saw them in concert, and we like
Speaker 2: four people went and saw that concert and the rest
Speaker 2: of us stayed and made a little pyramid of Heineken
Speaker 2: cans in our hotel room.
Speaker 3: I thought we were like living the high life.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah wait, I mean high school trip.
Speaker 4: Yeah. They like it was, yeah, you got to go
Speaker 4: see you too. You chose not to.
Speaker 3: And we could have.
Speaker 2: It was just that kind of thing where I was
Speaker 2: like we had had a couple nights we were like
Speaker 2: because we were allowed to drink, because over there the
Speaker 2: drinking age was like eighteen or seventeen or something, depending
Speaker 2: on what country you were in. So they basically sent
Speaker 2: a permission slip of like is it. They'd never do
Speaker 2: this now, I think, but it was the eighties, so
Speaker 2: it was like my parents gave me permission to drink
Speaker 2: on this trip, and so did everybody else's parents.
Speaker 3: So like everywhere we went our goal, like.
Speaker 2: It'd be like, oh, yeah, the Hermitage or whatever. Unbelieve
Speaker 2: you're in fucking Moscow and it's you know, Cold War
Speaker 2: Russia and we're like like, hey, there's a bar over there,
Speaker 2: like that's all we cared about.
Speaker 3: It was really hilarious.
Speaker 2: So we did a lot of the night before, we
Speaker 2: had been drunk at the Eiffel Tower and my friend
Speaker 2: Jennifer and I were like shitface and we're like walking
Speaker 2: around to the Eiffel Tower and these guys came up
Speaker 2: and we're like, hey, we're gonna buy you these necklaces
Speaker 2: or something, and we're like what, and we're like drunk enough.
Speaker 2: It was obvious we were drunk. These guys started grabbing
Speaker 2: us and pulling us, like trying to pull us away,
Speaker 2: and it was it was one I was drunk enough
Speaker 2: where I was like, oh, this is crazy.
Speaker 3: I can't believe this is happening. And then like two
Speaker 3: other tourist dudes who saw it.
Speaker 2: Happening came up and started trying to punch these guys,
Speaker 2: and the guys ran away and we're.
Speaker 3: Like, hey, thanks. So by the time we got.
Speaker 2: Home, we're like thanks liver bulleting, and we'd just run
Speaker 2: back to like the group of people we were with.
Speaker 2: So I think the next night we're like, hey, let's
Speaker 2: just take it easy and drink whatever we liquor we
Speaker 2: can get our hands on in the hotel, because we
Speaker 2: had kind of it was.
Speaker 3: I think we had too.
Speaker 2: Much freedom and like a little bit too much, Like
Speaker 2: you guys can handle this in the city streets of Paris,
Speaker 2: It's like, no, it's fucking France's New York City. It's
Speaker 2: not this beautiful place day and night, no matter what.
Speaker 4: Damn. Yeah.
Speaker 5: That's everyone's biggest fear is as a teenager getting kidnapped
Speaker 5: in a foreign country.
Speaker 4: It's classically the worst thing that could happen.
Speaker 2: You did Emily ever deal with any kind of grabby
Speaker 2: dudes at the Eiffel Tower.
Speaker 1: Emily has never been in danger of any kind, except
Speaker 1: for falling in love with two different men. Like she's
Speaker 1: not experienced anything. She just walks down the street. She's
Speaker 1: on her phone, you know nothing.
Speaker 3: God doesn't care.
Speaker 4: I'm still on the fence of if I'll start Emily
Speaker 4: in Paris.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't.
Speaker 2: I'll just tell you I'm too Christmas.
Speaker 1: Well, like, yeah, Donnie wat the first season with me,
Speaker 1: but mostly like just because it was funny, you know,
Speaker 1: And then like the second season came around, He's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm gonna join you on this,
Speaker 1: And I'm like that's better, Like I need to plow through.
Speaker 1: You take too many breaks, Like I just like to
Speaker 1: sit down, you know, I don't need to get up
Speaker 1: to go to the kitchen, like I'm just in it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I prefer a solo Emily embarrassed viewing session.
Speaker 2: You don't want to have to explain plot that plot line.
Speaker 2: I just want to be in it exactly. So they
Speaker 2: get lost in it. But how why is their bread
Speaker 2: so much better anywhere else in the world?
Speaker 1: And the butter and the butter.
Speaker 4: Is it better bread?
Speaker 3: Insane?
Speaker 4: Better bread chase than the bread from California Pizza Kitchen.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, we.
Speaker 5: Have sources, we do research. We know your favorite snack.
Speaker 4: I picked it out at the exact right moment.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, what it is.
Speaker 4: I haven't had the bread there? Could you describe this
Speaker 4: pizza kitchen bread?
Speaker 1: Have you ever been to California Pizza Kitchen?
Speaker 4: Sure? Just you know bread?
Speaker 1: No, they uhould just bring it. I mean okay, I like,
Speaker 1: I wrote an article that has since been taken down
Speaker 1: about this years ago, like California Pizza Kitchen is not
Speaker 1: what it once was. It used to be just the
Speaker 1: Crown Jewel, at least in Studio City. That's where I
Speaker 1: wanted to go for every birthday. Like my parents hated it,
Speaker 1: like they were like, please pick somewhere else, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I have to go to CPK. The bread
Speaker 1: used to be unreal. But it's I mean, no, nothing's
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 5: Bread that's a product of them. Because now they just
Speaker 5: make frozen pizzas. I wonder if they're like, you know what,
Speaker 5: we should make these, serve these frozen pizzas in our restaurants.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's probably like a version of that.
Speaker 1: Although I will say they're they're barbecue you chicken chopp
Speaker 1: salad is alive, and.
Speaker 4: Well, I believe that's legendary.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really definitely really good still.
Speaker 2: Talk about I think like that's like time machine food,
Speaker 2: where like if I ate that, like that's what I Margaret.
Speaker 2: When I used to open for Margaret Chow on the Road,
Speaker 2: we would always try to find a California pizza kitchen
Speaker 2: because we knew we would like it, and we would
Speaker 2: it would be like kind of reasonable.
Speaker 3: We could eat salads and pretend it was local.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think, wouldn't you call that bread a
Speaker 2: little bit like focasha. It's like kind of fast food
Speaker 2: focaca a little bit.
Speaker 1: Looking back, yeah, I mean it's just not when I
Speaker 1: was remembering, like because I went back there with Donnie,
Speaker 1: I was like, because he had never been, I was like,
Speaker 1: you've never been to CBK, Like I was like building
Speaker 1: up so much, and we went back there and it
Speaker 1: was so sobering, Like I was just like looking around
Speaker 1: and like seeing things for what it really was, and
Speaker 1: just like the bread and like just even like the
Speaker 1: pepsi tastes weird and I was just like wow, Like
Speaker 1: I don't know if they've changed or I have maybe both.
Speaker 3: I think I think it's them.
Speaker 2: I think the franchise isn't it got It was like
Speaker 2: it peaked and then maybe they sold to too large
Speaker 2: of a conglomerate or something.
Speaker 3: Because it really was good from what I remember in
Speaker 3: the early night too. M hm.
Speaker 1: But they're still just like everywhere, Like I mean, the
Speaker 1: fact that they are even at the Century City like
Speaker 1: Crazy Mall, it's like, clearly you guys are doing something right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, people still believe, Yeah exactly. I think it's.
Speaker 2: Because you can get you can get a solid salad there,
Speaker 2: just as much as pizza, which is basically like boys
Speaker 2: and girls eating together right in ales. Yes, to be
Speaker 2: really generalizing, but yeah, you know, I agree.
Speaker 5: If someone could explain to me my one day. One day,
Speaker 5: my dad's birthday. We're in Spokane and he wanted Italian
Speaker 5: food for his birthday, and out of all all the
Speaker 5: places in a city, he chose Olive Garden and I
Speaker 5: they are famous for their free breadsticks with our Dowe
Speaker 5: white sausage, their uniform, they are so unappealing to me.
Speaker 5: But then I put one in my mouth and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 5: there's something in it. There's like a addictive chemical in
Speaker 5: their food.
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 5: I think that there's something about that that has these
Speaker 5: chain restaurants. I think that they have some addictive chemical
Speaker 5: in there. Because I ate a whole basket and I'm
Speaker 5: not a bread guy. It makes my knuckles swell up,
Speaker 5: you know, Yeah, But I'm like worth it.
Speaker 3: I mean they do.
Speaker 2: There's like food scientists that research and figure out like
Speaker 2: perfect mouth feel so right, Like you get an Olive
Speaker 2: Garden breadstick and it's slick on the outside. Then they
Speaker 2: put a little salt on it or something and you
Speaker 2: bite in and there's a slight crunch and they do
Speaker 2: all that of like this is what people like the best,
Speaker 2: so they write.
Speaker 1: I mean they know, they know what they're doing.
Speaker 5: This is the one the mice. The mice liked. I'm
Speaker 5: assuming there's mice in their laboratory.
Speaker 4: Tests. They give them cute. Oh imagine the tiny little
Speaker 4: bread they get.
Speaker 1: I've never been to Olive Garden, should I No?
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 5: I left feeling defeated, like I was taking advantage of
Speaker 5: I felt like such a simpleton, and I had a
Speaker 5: nap for three days.
Speaker 4: I ate like a whole four pounds of lasagna.
Speaker 2: I feel like Italian food. If you do franchise Italian food,
Speaker 2: you're gonna go I wish I had just made this
Speaker 2: at home. Yeah, because right, it's like you don't want
Speaker 2: to sit in the mall and eat Feticini alfredo or right,
Speaker 2: it's like.
Speaker 1: I want to sit in the mall and eat pandas
Speaker 1: for us, yeah, it's.
Speaker 5: The right answer, right, see all the food we're talking about.
Speaker 5: It was back to that cake thing. For me, it's
Speaker 5: not worth this should for as bad as it is
Speaker 5: for me, I should be having a more euphoric experience
Speaker 5: putting it in my mouth, Like yeah, it looms over me.
Speaker 5: That's like, well, here's the worst thing I could possibly
Speaker 5: be eating fet A genie alfredo. And then it's like
Speaker 5: why am I not happy?
Speaker 2: Yeah? If I'm gonna spread this all over security at
Speaker 2: the at the Tempe Airport, then it's better taste good
Speaker 2: and it doesn't, So why.
Speaker 1: Am I doing cleaning it up? I mean they're gonna
Speaker 1: sign that it's the next few months.
Speaker 2: Like the idea you can't bring through the smallest bottle
Speaker 2: of water, but you were like, here's me and my
Speaker 2: two pieces of cake.
Speaker 3: We're going to fuck your machine from the inside.
Speaker 4: Out, this is on them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is on that. It is on that. And
Speaker 1: I would have even though it was bad, I would
Speaker 1: have liked three more bites. I would have liked that,
Speaker 1: you know, like waiting at my gate, I would have
Speaker 1: liked to take three more bites and then throw it away.
Speaker 1: I didn't want my hand to be forced into throwing
Speaker 1: it away. I felt like it wasn't my choice.
Speaker 2: No, because you were too paranoid of like both pieces
Speaker 2: flopped out into that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they acted like only the one. They're like, no, no,
Speaker 1: that piece didn't touch it. I'm like, why, why explain
Speaker 1: that exactly? And I was just too much in a daze,
Speaker 1: and so I just left. And then I was just like,
Speaker 1: all right, I just got to make an executive decision
Speaker 1: here to trust no one because.
Speaker 3: You take one bite of that and suddenly you're like.
Speaker 5: Oh, no, page, that's the hair up.
Speaker 4: Someone off. I'm I'm The airport is insane.
Speaker 2: It's it's such a I feel bad when people have
Speaker 2: to travel these days because it's getting so crazy.
Speaker 1: It's getting intolerable.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The coughing, like truly, the coughing, like when I was
Speaker 1: at Burbank waiting to go to Phoenix, Like it was
Speaker 1: just truly I've never heard so many people coughing so
Speaker 1: many different pitches, like it's just at different times. Like
Speaker 1: I'm just like and it's like I haven't made a sound,
Speaker 1: Like it's like I don't know why. It's like people can't.
Speaker 1: I don't get it. It's like I'm not tempted to
Speaker 1: make a sound. I'm just like sitting here quietly, respectfully,
Speaker 1: and I just don't know why I'm the only one.
Speaker 2: I think it's passive aggressive, like political coughing. I think
Speaker 2: there's certain people are like I'm going to do the
Speaker 2: thing you fear the worst, and that it's that kind
Speaker 2: of thing where like our culture has changed empirically since
Speaker 2: COVID in that way where there are people I'll never
Speaker 2: forget walking toward a guy one time and we were outside,
Speaker 2: but we were it was still during like quarantine, and
Speaker 2: I was trying to go to the atm so I
Speaker 2: was wearing a mask, but we were outside at a
Speaker 2: like a strip mall, and this guy was walking toward me,
Speaker 2: not wearing a mask, and then did this whole like
Speaker 2: this like it's ridiculous, almost like old fashioned theater face
Speaker 2: play where he let me. Know, he was mad I
Speaker 2: was wearing a mask wordlessly or whatever, where it's just
Speaker 2: like the fuck do you care if I have a
Speaker 2: mask on or not? He was like, oh and like
Speaker 2: so upset where it's just like this is inappropriate, like
Speaker 2: what the fuck do you care? Truly and also I
Speaker 2: could have it, yeah, like I could just try not
Speaker 2: to be spreading it to you, dummy.
Speaker 6: Like basically, people are so mad, they're they're they're disgusting.
Speaker 4: I love the.
Speaker 5: Idea that it's like, define take it. You're not going
Speaker 5: to take my rights away from patriotic coughing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Fox News sponsored coughing.
Speaker 4: Why why I just watched your set.
Speaker 5: They just sent some links and it was probably Yeah,
Speaker 5: it was an old set because it was like Cameron
Speaker 5: Esposito show, but you're so good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 5: And you were like I think that two to five
Speaker 5: we can just get rid of those hours.
Speaker 4: And that's exactly when we're podcasting.
Speaker 1: I know, four pm is an interesting call time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's you that we stick to interesting. Well, Chase,
Speaker 1: happy birthday, thank you.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I didn't know, It's fine, I'm sorry, I mean
Speaker 1: I didn't to the list.
Speaker 4: Oh no, a list of people that forgot your birthday.
Speaker 1: There is a list, although most people did. I will
Speaker 1: say I was impressed. I've really because I tell a
Speaker 1: lot of people it's my birthday. I'm not like quiet
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: Good you shouldn't be. But I felt bad. I heard
Speaker 2: that on your podcast. Was like a shit, Well just
Speaker 2: tell her in person. But when I get back, I'll
Speaker 2: take it. We'll have a we'll have a nice birthday meal.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I know.
Speaker 6: I was like, where are you at? Like some sort
Speaker 6: of a beat Chilie. It's so like exotic. I've gone
Speaker 6: to the beach.
Speaker 1: M h.
Speaker 3: I could feel it. Can you feel the relaxation?
Speaker 1: Yes, I really can't. It's really nice just to cut
Speaker 1: the wind. Yeah.
Speaker 3: But I will be back soon, so amazing. We will
Speaker 3: make a plan. Sounds good?
Speaker 4: Can I go? Just kidding? I don't want to shore
Speaker 4: those people that invites them. I used to live at
Speaker 4: the beach. I had my fill. I don't miss it.
Speaker 4: I missed.
Speaker 3: I don't care.
Speaker 5: I like three blocks away. I don't miss it at all.
Speaker 5: The waves crashing and the breeze. It used to make
Speaker 5: me sneeze. I don't miss it.
Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, if you haven't heard Chase Bernstein's podcast Composed,
Speaker 2: you have to listen to it. I've told you this already.
Speaker 2: One of the hardest things in the world to do
Speaker 2: is do a podcast by yourself. Chris and I both
Speaker 2: talked about this when we pick each other up from
Speaker 2: the airport and have to do and some kind of
Speaker 2: an intro pre role where we're talking by ourselves. It literally,
Speaker 2: when I tried to do it, it made me feel insane.
Speaker 2: I literally stopped doing it and waited till Chris got
Speaker 2: in the car.
Speaker 4: Every time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Chase is so good at it, and she's it's
Speaker 2: a really funny podcast.
Speaker 3: And if you haven't heard it, go listen. You will
Speaker 3: thank me later.
Speaker 5: And if you get the chance to see Chase to
Speaker 5: stand up, she's one of the best at it.
Speaker 3: Yearly.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you I love watching you. Your calm demeanor and
Speaker 5: you have great jokes and uh, just google and YouTube
Speaker 5: watch whatever's out there. Do you have dates coming up?
Speaker 1: You know? Just local. I'll be in Venice on Saturday
Speaker 1: and I come find me.
Speaker 2: Just standing out around boardwalk Venice and Jacent.
Speaker 1: I actually think I'm doing large Go on February first,
Speaker 1: So I'm excited I've been there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh you're gonna it's Oh that's the best. Yeah.
Speaker 5: It feels like you're in a city that loves and
Speaker 5: has been starving for comedy. It so it feels like
Speaker 5: you're not in Los Angeles. Every time I perform the like,
Speaker 5: where did they get these people? Why are they so excited?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 1: So it's not like a little bit snobby, not at
Speaker 1: you're going to I don't know why. I kind of
Speaker 1: like picture people being like comedy like snobs.
Speaker 5: No, because yeah, on your show there will be an
Speaker 5: extremely famous person that is a surprise guest, and they
Speaker 5: know that and so they don't judge anyone.
Speaker 4: They enjoy the whole show.
Speaker 5: It's that place works in a way that I don't
Speaker 5: I don't understand why certain places are amazing.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think it's so exciting.
Speaker 2: I think Flannagin like books it well, and they have
Speaker 2: managed it for so long in that way where like
Speaker 2: people people have been taught how to be audience members
Speaker 2: there and so it's like they know if they do,
Speaker 2: if they hold up there under the bargain, they're going
Speaker 2: to get rewarded. And so it's great because they just
Speaker 2: are so ready and they're they have good taste, and yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a it's a great it's a great experience for
Speaker 2: the performer. Okay, yes, I'm going to go with you
Speaker 2: because I have been there in so low god, Yes, Okay.
Speaker 4: Can I go? Guys?
Speaker 5: Just kidding, that was my favoite. It's a callback to
Speaker 5: me inviting.
Speaker 3: My fas famous.
Speaker 5: It's so famous that I invite myself to these people.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, but Chase is actually my.
Speaker 5: Real, real life friend. I know, I it's it was
Speaker 5: not a real life Please can I go to the beach?
Speaker 4: And also, do I go with you in a few days?
Speaker 5: Well, I mean I have some I was, I have
Speaker 5: some dates coming up.
Speaker 4: Do you mind if I it's boring, do it? But
Speaker 4: in March I will be in Milwaukee and Green Bay
Speaker 4: and Chicago, and then in May I will be in
Speaker 4: New York at the Bellhouse. I'm very excited about that.
Speaker 4: And Vienna.
Speaker 5: Ooh, I am traveling n Virginia. Vienna, Virginia at the
Speaker 5: first i'd see of that, and Philadelphia.
Speaker 4: In in May. So go to my website. That's all.
Speaker 4: That's all I had to say.
Speaker 3: Thank you for being here, Chase, thank you so much. Wonderful.
Speaker 3: Thank you guest.
Speaker 5: Yes, your damn delight you've been listening to Do You
Speaker 5: Need a Ride?
Speaker 4: D y n a R. This has been an exactly Right.
Speaker 3: Production produced by Analise Nelson.
Speaker 4: Mixed by John Bradley.
Speaker 3: Our talent booker is Patrick Cottner.
Speaker 4: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 3: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 2: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 2: podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.
Speaker 5: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Oh you are welcome