WEBVTT - Heartbreak Hotel 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:22.360 Welcome back to Good Mon's Bad Choices. 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:28.880 I'm Erica and I'm Nila, and it's Wednesday, Happy Wednesday, 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:30.480 Happy hot Day. 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:34.960 It's still burning hot in the valley. It's it's actually hell. 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:37.479 It's like we actually I don't know how many of 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:40.600 our listeners live in southern California and are familiar with 0:00:40.840 --> 0:00:44.320 San Fernando Valley, but it's hot as. 0:00:44.280 --> 0:00:46.919 Fuck, and the devil just happens to live right next 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:50.880 door to Erica's very real. It's hot. Wait what is 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:54.279 my what? My baby Dady used to say, Oh wait, maybe. 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:57.720 It's as cold as penguin pussy, not hot as panga 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:03.080 pussy pain, penguin pussy pay, as cold as pinions, So 0:01:03.080 --> 0:01:04.200 you gotta think of a better about it. 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:14.639 As hot as oh man, that's scared me. Hot as devil. 0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:19.959 How the devil's himself, the Devil's. 0:01:19.600 --> 0:01:25.119 Dick, the level of focus it requires to a HD bitches. 0:01:25.160 --> 0:01:25.960 It's very hot. 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:31.880 My dog is very blond, and my nerves are on low, 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:33.759 very short. 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:42.720 Had a long week, and yeah, I'm ready for next year. 0:01:43.720 --> 0:01:44.880 I know it's like what are you wearing? 0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:46.480 You know what? We keep talking about next year? And 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:48.520 like I'm pretty sure it's not gonna be much different. 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:50.640 Like I don't want to rain on anyone's parade. But 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:52.840 I'm not saying it's gonna be bad. I'm just saying, 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:56.480 like December thirty first, the ball's gonna drop, and it 0:01:56.480 --> 0:01:59.400 doesn't mean like yeah, like like. 0:01:59.360 --> 0:02:01.520 The ship is doesn't mean tomorrow it's gonna be over. 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:03.360 So I don't know. 0:02:04.760 --> 0:02:08.519 I'm ready for another vacation, honestly, Like that's what I 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:10.720 should professionally, vacation. 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:13.720 You do, I don't know what you're talking about. 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:18.080 You do, You've been on a vacation for like three months? 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:20.960 Shut up? You know what I mean? A real one? 0:02:21.360 --> 0:02:28.079 What the fuck? Anyway, I'm really excited you guys, because I. 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:30.840 Am wearing our merch right now. We just dropped new 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:32.799 merch on our site. 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:36.160 Yesterday, and it's fucking cute. 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:40.120 It is cute, and it says good Mom's bad girl, 0:02:40.280 --> 0:02:43.440 Good moms. It's good mom, bad girl, has an upside 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:46.639 has an upside down happy face, and it has a 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:51.520 little weak plants. It's very seventies retro, Sunny Retro. Designed 0:02:51.560 --> 0:02:55.520 it ourselves. We're very proud, like we're design maybe eleven 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:58.480 months to keep this one to sign don't worry. 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:00.919 There's another one coming. Yeah, there's no one coming that's 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:01.880 not on our site yet. 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:03.640 But if you haven't checked out our urch, you should 0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:05.400 because we actually have some really cute shit on there, 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:09.600 and we just restopped our best selling T shirt yesterday 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:11.920 as well, So make sure you guys. 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:12.280 Go check it out. 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:13.600 I know a lot of you guys have been hitting 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:16.640 me up asking when we're gonna reseall like the nude 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:19.480 shirt or the biy shirt, and it's up there, so 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:20.720 go cop that shit. 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:23.240 Good Mom's Bad Choices dot com. 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:29.480 And uh, and if you haven't joined our Patreon, now 0:03:29.600 --> 0:03:30.000 is the. 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:33.720 Time our Patreon is hot. Our Patreon really is popping, 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:34.400 like it's. 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:37.040 Popping over there a little real Like, I'm proud of 0:03:37.040 --> 0:03:37.760 our patre too. 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:38.400 Shout out to me. 0:03:38.640 --> 0:03:40.880 She got us together. Yeah, she really pulled us all 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:44.440 the way together. And just for a minute, it was 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:46.680 a struggle. Now it was like a kind of like 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:51.400 a desert land over there. But now content pop ping ton. 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:56.000 It's just content after content after content after content. 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:58.680 Shit, you don't we don't post on Instagram. 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:01.960 Shit, you don't see anywhere else in the episodes, you 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:04.160 won't hear on you know, wherever you listen to your podcast, 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:07.360 we have bonus episodes there. We have this segment that 0:04:07.360 --> 0:04:10.280 we do called the roll Up where me and Jamila 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:13.440 roll up our favorite lead of the week and just 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:16.240 talk about some of the things that like we don't 0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:19.440 miss everybody if you don't want everyone to hear. Only 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:21.520 are tribe members that really want to support us and 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:25.080 like really get that full access into our personal life 0:04:25.360 --> 0:04:27.720 and whatever we're going through at that moment. 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:30.120 So make sure you check out our Patreon. 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:34.200 We actually did an episode, a bonus episode of Horrible 0:04:34.240 --> 0:04:36.719 Decisions that is really really funny. 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:37.159 I don't know if you. 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:38.760 Guys have been able to check it out patrons, you 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:41.200 know what I'm talking about. We played never Have I 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:44.520 Ever with Weezy and Mandy, and you might be surprised 0:04:44.560 --> 0:04:49.279 at the things that all of us have or haven't done. 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:52.440 Also in true Horrible Decision fashion, you know, they had 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:55.760 a little bickering moment there. They're a little little shouting match, 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:58.440 a little shouting match, and you know, as the mamas 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:00.040 of the group, we had to tell their little I 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:02.040 says to sit the fuck down, go in your corners, 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:04.880 be nice, Mandy, you sit there. Weazy sit in the corner, 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:05.960 don't around, don't. 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:08.400 You say anything else, not a single word, five minute 0:05:08.760 --> 0:05:09.279 time out. 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:13.320 I really felt like a mediator. Anyway, I love those bitches, 0:05:13.760 --> 0:05:14.640 So make sure you go. 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:18.200 Check out that bonus episode only available on our Patreon. 0:05:18.800 --> 0:05:20.440 And have to go in order to find us on 0:05:20.480 --> 0:05:24.599 Patreon because we're considered explicit. You have to search patreon 0:05:24.640 --> 0:05:27.880 dot com backslash good Mom's bad choices in your search bar, 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:30.080 so hit us up. 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:32.840 Also sex physicians on them. 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:35.719 Yeah, there's text positions, but yeah, become a part of 0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:39.120 our tribe, get a little closer to us. 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:41.360 Help it's knows a little bit. Oh my god, I 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:43.479 hold on you guys. I ordered food and now they're 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:43.919 calling me. 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:46.880 Okay, sorry, that was very important because if I don't 0:05:46.880 --> 0:05:51.560 eat soon, I'm gonna eat Erica's head off. I always 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:54.880 forget to eat and then I'm acting psycho and I'm like, 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:56.320 why am I so angry? 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:56.600 Oh? 0:05:56.640 --> 0:05:58.720 I haven't eaten. That must be a cancer thing. It's 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:00.920 that much to be a cancer. 0:06:00.720 --> 0:06:02.719 Okay, this is what works not gonna happen now that 0:06:02.760 --> 0:06:03.960 you're dating a cancer man. 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:04.880 You're not gonna just. 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:10.280 Groo's happen in Erica now thinks she's like mother cancers. 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:13.000 She knows everything about the cancers. My guest friends of cancer, 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:15.280 my boyfriends of cancer, and you all do this. Y'all 0:06:15.279 --> 0:06:19.800 are all fucking crazy whatever. Y'all are so particular about 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:23.760 weird shit. And also I am not particular about weird shit. 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:26.320 I'm actually the least particular person that I know. Is 0:06:26.320 --> 0:06:27.360 that a hickey on your neck? 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:28.320 Is that? 0:06:29.360 --> 0:06:31.240 I'm not kid? I don't even know you could get 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:32.080 pickies girl. 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:36.400 I am kicky easy whoa, Yeah, you're like fifteen again. 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:39.760 We're right, We're on a very ghetto episode. 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:49.440 I'm just trying to sage the room. 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:53.800 I can answer it. It's a FaceTime from fucking New York. 0:06:53.960 --> 0:06:58.680 I don't know who that is. Okay, we're back after 0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:02.599 four hundred interactions. Oh yes, I do get hickey. And 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:05.039 I got a hickey. I feel like sometimes my boyfriend's 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:07.480 doing it to kiss. 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:07.640 On me. 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:11.520 On you. It's a term you don't know me, like 0:07:11.520 --> 0:07:16.400 like help dogs mark their territory. I don't I don't 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:18.520 know if I just you don't like that. I don't 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:21.000 like that term. Okay, well that's what it's that's what 0:07:21.120 --> 0:07:22.440 it stands for me. I don't know you wanted to 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:25.160 piss on you anyway, so like in you real life, 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:27.200 So that's like, oh my god, speaking and pasting on people. 0:07:30.560 --> 0:07:32.360 I asked him, like, have they repeat on him? Anyone 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:34.640 has the ever repeat on you? He's like, not on purpose. 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:36.880 Maybe the shower some We're in the shower and I'm 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:38.720 like he's He's like, scoop out and I had to peet. 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:40.720 I was like, when to try. Wait, did I pian 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:42.680 have a p on me? Oh? I said I had 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:44.520 to be and he told me like piano's leg a 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:46.120 little bit to turn him on. 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:48.920 No, no, it didn't turn me on either. That's like 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:50.720 how it was nice, Like it's almost as warm as 0:07:50.720 --> 0:07:54.080 the shower. It's like, well, guys, let me cover that. Yeah, 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:55.960 that was basically how it went. I was like, are 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:59.400 you feeling rock hard over there? He's like, Nope, not really. 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:03.000 I'm not really into piss play into a pissy thing. 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:04.840 I could see if someone was really into it, how 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:07.000 I might get into it. But I mean, essentially, I 0:08:07.040 --> 0:08:08.960 do pee on people because you're squirting. 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:11.800 Yeah, and I've you know, recently discovered that I've just 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:12.920 been peeing all over the place. 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:17.320 But does it smell like pee? Does it smell like Karen? 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:24.760 You know sometimes sometimes I would say yes, but it's 0:08:24.800 --> 0:08:28.400 not like a strong set like piss smell, so like 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:29.920 I know, it's mixed with some other shit. 0:08:30.560 --> 0:08:33.720 But yeah, anyway, we've. 0:08:33.520 --> 0:08:36.160 Got onto this topic of peace and how oh because 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:38.960 I said he hated me, he's marking his territory. 0:08:38.960 --> 0:08:40.760 Also, he kind of I peed on him a little 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:43.920 bit in the shower. Didn't didn't really flow anybody's boat. 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:48.440 How's your relationship going on over there? 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:51.160 How is everything? I haven't seen you in three days. 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:53.440 I feel I haven't seen you in a week. What's 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:55.800 going on over there? It's happening, I mean, life changes. 0:08:57.240 --> 0:08:58.360 Everything's good, you know. 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:01.800 I think, when how long have you been dating? Now 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:03.240 it's been April. 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:05.480 Can we can we can we pount the same? 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:09.120 Wait at the end of April, so may June to 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:12.120 lie It'll be four months at the end of this month, 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:16.600 so mine is like five months. Yeah, so everything's going well. 0:09:16.800 --> 0:09:19.880 I think that I've just realized that. 0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:31.839 I'm not girlfriend of the year. I am sure. It's 0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:33.080 not that I'm not girlfriend of the year. 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:37.120 It's just like I think that I'm learning. I'm learning 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:44.079 someone totally new, totally different than you know, my previous relationships. 0:09:44.080 --> 0:09:48.920 My other relationship needed attentiveness in a different way, and uh, 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:51.720 and it was in it was in more of an 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:57.120 unhealthy way. And in this relationship, like he gives me 0:09:57.200 --> 0:10:00.120 so much attention and he he's so great, Like he 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:04.839 really he knows every shift in my energy, which can 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:08.400 be kind of scary if I'm not ready to talk 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:12.400 about things, which I've realized, Like the other day, like 0:10:12.440 --> 0:10:14.960 something happened and I was at his house and I 0:10:15.000 --> 0:10:19.200 got some news that I wasn't ready to really discuss 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:24.000 with him or anyone, and I knew that I had 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:26.320 to leave because I knew I couldn't. 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:28.640 Fake it and even if I did fake it, he 0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:29.080 would know. 0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:31.960 And that's scary, Like that's kind of scary to be 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:35.880 it's scary, but also like it's kind of I asked 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:39.000 for it because in my previous relationship, like I'd be like, hello, 0:10:39.400 --> 0:10:41.040 can't you tell I'm fucking unhappy? 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:42.959 Can't you tell like something's wrong. 0:10:43.000 --> 0:10:45.000 You're not gonna ask me, You're just gonna like let 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:46.720 it be like this, You're gonna just let You're just 0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:48.400 gonna come in the house. And I'm gonna sit on 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:50.439 the couch and not say shit to you, and you're 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:54.800 not gonna ask me what's up. Cool, So my nig 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:57.960 now will not only ask me what's up, but like 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:01.320 just go dig deep, dig deep, and then like if 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:04.400 I'm not feeling well, he'll like, you know, send a 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:06.600 massuse to give me a massage, which is like so 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:09.760 sweet and so amazing, and like he just he just 0:11:09.800 --> 0:11:12.240 really caters to me, and I feel like. 0:11:12.240 --> 0:11:13.880 I probably could cater to him more. 0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:18.959 I just I don't know, like I was saying, I 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:20.880 think I was talking to I don't know my mom. 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:23.520 I've talked to a few people about this that, like, I. 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:26.640 Think that there's parts of me that are still on 0:11:27.240 --> 0:11:33.000 I can't access yet with him, because I shut those 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:36.920 things down after my relationship ended, because I gave so 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:39.360 much of myself so freely, because I was so. 0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:41.280 Young when I entered into my relationship, that. 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:46.240 Those things that I could easily access before don't are 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:51.440 don't come so easily these days. I'm glad you you 0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:56.480 said that, because I feel similar. 0:11:57.120 --> 0:12:00.560 I don't know how to be in anything healthy, kind 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:03.480 and nice, and it is hard for me to like 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:07.680 be super expressive and like receive kindness because I was 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:12.920 in such a unkind relationship twice. Young Bay was not 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:18.199 that nice either, right, And it's just it's an interesting 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:24.480 thing to observe myself in a relationship that's healthy and 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:26.800 not be able to reciprocate it and then be called 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:30.560 out about it and be like, oh shit, that's right, 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:32.079 I'm not being nice. 0:12:32.160 --> 0:12:33.800 You're so nice. I'm not being nice. 0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:36.560 I did some shit last week that was like very 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:43.480 not nice and very not thoughtful, and I realized I 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:48.000 was seriously just testing the waters to see if how. 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:48.559 Far you could go. 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:52.520 Yeah, and also like maybe just thinking like hey, whatever, 0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:57.280 like I'm a sabotaging it, well, sabotaging myself and doing 0:12:57.280 --> 0:13:01.880 some dumb shit. And I just realized, like, damn, bitch, 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:05.240 you so used to having fuck boys around that you're 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:08.040 not even you're not you can't even receive someone who's 0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:10.960 who's being kind to you, being commun communicating to you. 0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:13.400 And then he's like, well, you don't really communicate with me, 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:15.200 and I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about. 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:17.760 I'm here every weekend. This is me saying I like 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:22.200 you the but that's not what that means. And you know, 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:24.240 and I think a lot of deep thoughts. I'm always 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:27.160 thinking about, like, oh god, wow, this is so wonderful, 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:29.520 but then I don't say it out loud because I 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:35.280 just haven't felt safe to do that. So thankfully, my 0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:38.679 boyfriend's really kind and really loves me, because even though 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:39.800 I did some fun shit. 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:47.080 He didn't dump me. So here we are still girlfriends. Yeah, 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:49.199 I think I realized I did. 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:53.640 I I went to the beach the other day with 0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:57.839 my man and my friends, and I took some shrooms. 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:03.959 And the chocolate one. Yeah you took one? No, I 0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:06.240 took more. I took two. I took like four, like 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:08.559 the no the ones Oka a new bar. Yeah. 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:12.480 Side note, DMUs Everything was just start a side business 0:14:12.480 --> 0:14:13.360 of mushroom makers. 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:17.000 We are not drug dealers. So many people says to me, 0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:20.440 where I'm in La, where are the mushrooms? And I'm like, 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:21.080 I don't know. 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:25.320 I just like happened to fall upon them. Someone just 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:27.600 gave me these and a friend of mine that were 0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:28.680 they did. 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:29.920 It was yeah, it was. 0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:31.840 It wasn't before we go to our next episode. It 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:35.120 wasn't like intense or anything, but it was cool. But 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:39.840 I have this realization that I am getting everything I want, 0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:43.440 but I just it's hard for me to accept that 0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:46.600 it's here. It's hard for me to now accept that 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:50.840 it's here. And now I doubt everything, even some of 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:51.640 the things he'll say. 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:53.200 Like I'm just I just have a really hard time 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:54.520 with men being right in general. 0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:59.280 And I realized that, and I always have to like 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:01.040 do my Like he'll say something and I'll be like, 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:03.520 m let me check on that, let me like research 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:06.040 that more, cause I don't know if you're right. And 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:09.440 also my man is also just very he like he's 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:12.440 very opinionated. He knows a little bit about everything, and 0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:14.640 sometimes I think that can come off as just like 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:18.680 a know it all and for me, like sometimes that 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:22.920 it annoys me, and so like I think that's where 0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:25.640 the disconnect sometimes comes from. 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:29.200 And but like also I'm gonna know it all. 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:35.400 So I just I I just realized that, like I 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:37.800 just need to like accept what I have, what I'm getting, 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:41.360 and like not try to push it away and be. 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:47.480 And question it so much. But overall, I'm happy. I'm good, 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:48.080 We're good. 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:51.320 He's the bomb, and that's it. 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:53.320 I agree, I'm really happy. 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:57.240 I feel like my relationship is like a constant scene 0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:02.520 from love Jones. Honestly, he's just always lighting candles and 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:04.920 offering to give me massages. 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:11.880 Drinks. It's just I'm so hydrated. Honestly, Oh my. 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:15.160 Every love jokes, Oh my god. This is a romance movie. 0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:18.200 So that feels really nice. It feels really good to 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:26.120 just have someone who's caring and attentive and gentle, and 0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:29.120 I just need to I really feel like after you 0:16:29.120 --> 0:16:33.040 get out of any long term relationship, you might need therapy. 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:35.640 Everyone, every single one. 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:42.560 I agree, because I have become hyper aware of how 0:16:42.720 --> 0:16:45.720 my last relationship, not even young Bay well him too, 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:47.640 but like one before that with that baby Daddy, that 0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:51.440 was like forever. It's still so much in my system, 0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:54.800 and as I'm trying to move on from that, I'm 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:57.960 trying to rebel from that. Have a new boyfriend and 0:16:57.960 --> 0:16:59.840 a new relationship, and you can't do both. 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.120 I've been a very rebellious. 0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:04.880 Place, like fuck niggas, fuck calling me five times, don't 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:07.120 ask me any questions, don't ask me where I'm going, 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:10.440 don't ask me I'll see you on Friday. Don't even 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:12.520 ask me no soups, don't ask me questions one day 0:17:12.520 --> 0:17:13.040 through Friday. 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:16.679 I'm an adult and was like, hey, bitch, this is 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:18.199 how people show you they care about you. 0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:22.280 And I'm like, oh, right, but I'm so used to 0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:25.479 it being like an invasive you're doing something wrong energy 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:28.400 that I just after I got the relationship, but I said, 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:29.000 fuck all that. 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:30.560 Nobody asked me any questions. 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:33.680 Well, how's therapy going for you? With better help, it's 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:36.439 actually going really good. I realized that I probably need to. 0:17:36.920 --> 0:17:40.239 I thought I was healed from things that I'm not 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:42.960 healed from, and I need to take time to be like, hey, 0:17:43.440 --> 0:17:46.960 can we address these things that I'm obviously not over 0:17:47.080 --> 0:17:49.520 because I see these patterns in this relationship. 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:51.760 But it's still going really well. 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:54.000 I'm happy to just be like meeting right in my 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.320 living room or in my bed or on my phone, 0:17:56.640 --> 0:17:59.160 you know, once a week, and I have a female 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:02.720 therapist because I prefer to have like a female energy, 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:05.119 and so it's just like really like a older woman, 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:09.560 mature talk every week. That is just keeping me grounded, honestly, 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:11.440 and I'm really grateful for it, and I feel like 0:18:11.520 --> 0:18:14.680 it's helping me be, you know, be girlfriend of the year, 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:17.280 because right now I'm like, eh, I'm like ho. 0:18:17.400 --> 0:18:21.399 Of the year kid. Yeah, No, I feel you, I 0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:21.760 feel you. 0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:23.919 I mean, it's constantly you have to constantly check in 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:26.520 with yourself, and it does it does help when you 0:18:26.560 --> 0:18:28.679 have I mean, I guess like a therapist can. It's 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:31.840 kind of like an accountability partner, like and I think 0:18:32.160 --> 0:18:32.840 we are each. 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:35.080 Other's accountability partner too, But sometimes it's. 0:18:34.920 --> 0:18:37.160 Good to have, like a someone who doesn't know you, 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:41.080 has no you know, preconceived notions on what your life 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:44.440 was like, you know, what, what relationships you've been in, 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:48.600 and can just kind of give you a really clear 0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:52.480 perspective and clear steps on like what you need to 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:52.840 do to. 0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:54.439 Reach the goals, reach your goals. 0:18:55.080 --> 0:18:57.520 Cause like I know my therapist, she she's like that, 0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:00.640 like she actually gives me real advice, and like that's 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:02.160 what I really want out of a therapist. 0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:03.919 I want someone who's actually gonna. 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:07.080 Like bitch, tell me what to do, don't therapize me. 0:19:07.359 --> 0:19:09.920 That's my betterhelp too, because if one doesn't work, you 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:11.479 don't have to go to this entire problem. I mean, 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:12.359 like you do have to go to the process of 0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:13.800 getting ig know someone, but you can just feel like 0:19:13.840 --> 0:19:16.000 this is not working, let me try again, and then 0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:19.080 like maybe find someone who better works for you, and 0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:21.800 it's just not like you don't feel I also feel 0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:23.480 like you don't feel as bad breaking up with a 0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:26.800 therapist and moving on because it's still the same group 0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:28.080 right now. 0:19:29.240 --> 0:19:31.520 If you guys haven't checked out better help, you really 0:19:31.600 --> 0:19:37.520 really should. They they're really it's I've never experienced therapy 0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:40.119 like this, obviously because of COVID. I've obviously never had 0:19:40.160 --> 0:19:43.800 therapy over the phone, but honestly just kind of like 0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:46.320 being able to really pick and choose my therapist, like 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:49.920 I actually asked for I want a black I want 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:52.760 a black woman. I want her to be around this age, 0:19:52.800 --> 0:19:55.520 and like you really can customize what you need. And 0:19:55.760 --> 0:19:58.720 if you're you know, married, they have therapy for couple, 0:19:58.800 --> 0:20:02.600 they have therapy for teenagers, and if you're interested, check 0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:05.760 out the details in this episode, and you guys get 0:20:05.880 --> 0:20:06.920 a pretty good discount. 0:20:08.440 --> 0:20:13.600 It's actually very affordable. It's super affordable too or anything 0:20:13.600 --> 0:20:13.880 like that. 0:20:14.000 --> 0:20:17.000 You don't even need insurance, but like it's really affordable, 0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:18.560 like because before. 0:20:18.280 --> 0:20:21.359 I'm spending so much money on therapy. After like because 0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:22.400 my therapist. 0:20:22.080 --> 0:20:25.200 Stopped taking my insurance and I was like I loved her, 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:26.920 so I was like and we had already like built 0:20:26.920 --> 0:20:27.879 this whole thing together. 0:20:28.400 --> 0:20:29.720