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Speaker 1: Honey at Little Field on Marche at eight p m.
Speaker 1: Fifty comedians doing fifty segments of our I Don't Think
Speaker 1: So Honey. Get your tickets at Forever Dog Productions dot com. Yes,
Speaker 1: all right, enjoy the show. Come on, My grandma and
Speaker 1: your grandma was sitting bad fire. My grandma, Grandma, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna Finny's talking about him. I like go on Date
Speaker 1: Jagomo Jago, Culture Cuckoo, It's time for culture Coo. All
Speaker 1: my birds. I know you're at home listening, and I
Speaker 1: hope you're nestled in to your nest that you've made
Speaker 1: a twig and mudd and spit because guess what, I
Speaker 1: got a great fucking episode today. And look, before we
Speaker 1: move on, you may have noticed a little chill for
Speaker 1: our spun swords. Are we allowed to talk about this?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, let me tell you something. Casper Mattress, Honey
Speaker 1: and Warby Parker. You better lay on it. You better
Speaker 1: put it on your face to see. Okay, Well, we'll
Speaker 1: be hearing more from Casper and Warby Parker pretty soon.
Speaker 1: You can guarantee we will. And Honey, we have sold out.
Speaker 1: This is the new ass. But I love it. I'm
Speaker 1: like Katy Perry on her second album, sell me Out, Bitch,
Speaker 1: make me a pop star, makes me a Casper Mattress
Speaker 1: pop star, her second album after the first Christian pop one. No,
Speaker 1: I'm talking about one of the boys wasn't even sellout.
Speaker 1: Teenage Dream was a selling one of the boys. No, No,
Speaker 1: I think I kissed the girl hot and your code.
Speaker 1: I think that's indie rock, indie rock bitch, absolutely what
Speaker 1: I think. Wow, And he helped for me in the comments.
Speaker 1: Come for matt in the comments below, but here do
Speaker 1: not come for our guests, because our guest is pristine.
Speaker 1: Do not come for our guests and the comments, even
Speaker 1: though you technically could, because she is a writer for
Speaker 1: Seriously TV, Honey, and I would say, well on her
Speaker 1: way to icons. I mean, I feel like she's already
Speaker 1: a pre eminent icon with um, you know the bark
Speaker 1: Schler Patty Reviews Animals edition, Um, truly amazing and really
Speaker 1: made a star in Nature Nick Oh, Nature, Nick full Star.
Speaker 1: We will talk about Nature Nick at length, honey. And
Speaker 1: you might have also seen our guest as one of
Speaker 1: the co hosts It's a Guy Think at Union Home,
Speaker 1: one of the best variety shows in New York, Catherine
Speaker 1: Colin Major. You might have heard of them, what, I
Speaker 1: might have heard them? Whatever, and um, she's just a
Speaker 1: star on the rise, Honey. Please welcome our guest, Patty Harrison.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Ruku, I am very good. I'm so
Speaker 1: happy to be here. Thank you for all of those plugs.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, you gotta plug, you gotta plug. Guys
Speaker 1: were all drinking some delicious Marcel malback that were this
Speaker 1: was bottled last week. Honey, it's malb Oh. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I know what absolutely I'm sorry, but you know what
Speaker 1: French Canadian bow and yan got that wrong? I got
Speaker 1: that wrong. It's okay. One time, my social studies teacher
Speaker 1: in seventh grade accused me of not being a real
Speaker 1: kibet qua because I said I accidentally let slip quebec.
Speaker 1: I added the sound instead of the and yes. And
Speaker 1: then my social studies teacher was like, well, bo and
Speaker 1: you're not a real French Canadian, are you? And I
Speaker 1: was like, look, show me your Candian passport, show me
Speaker 1: your dulces and citizenship, and then I shall grant you that, honey.
Speaker 1: And I was about to get in her face, but
Speaker 1: I did not have the words. Honey, that person sounds
Speaker 1: you have the words, now my deal. I did not
Speaker 1: know how to speak until very recently. Patty seventh grade
Speaker 1: social studies teacher who hit on one of the girls. No,
Speaker 1: yes he did, no, no, no, yes. His name was
Speaker 1: Mr i sctould I say his name. No, let's just
Speaker 1: say his last name was another word for when you
Speaker 1: take a small sleep. Whoa okay, and Patty and any
Speaker 1: middle school teachers who may have preyed upon students, yes,
Speaker 1: actually tell us um uh. We had a teacher that um,
Speaker 1: it wasn't in my time. It was in my sister's time.
Speaker 1: But he I can't. I shouldn't even say his position
Speaker 1: because he's still I think he stopped the school because
Speaker 1: he was RECOGNI but when my her sisters in high school,
Speaker 1: he offered to drive one of the girls back from
Speaker 1: volleyball and then tried to touch her in the car
Speaker 1: and she jumped out of a moving car. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's insane. That's great, it's so cool. It's so cool
Speaker 1: that she was in the ground. She went into a
Speaker 1: round off back hand spring talk and he was like,
Speaker 1: that's what I was trying to get you to do.
Speaker 1: He was also the gymnastics kitch. This is this some
Speaker 1: good taste. And then that girl was looked black widow.
Speaker 1: She was scarlet Joe Hanson, Scarlet Johnson and Patty's older
Speaker 1: and Patty's sister is uh Eliza dou And then of
Speaker 1: course that's how they booked her for bringing on when
Speaker 1: she did the round off back hand spring back, chalk hands, brings,
Speaker 1: flying back, twisted layout step out out. Yeah, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this step out movie. I did see it again and
Speaker 1: it does not hold out, Yes, it does it does
Speaker 1: it does it for being a teen movie. It is
Speaker 1: very nuanced in the message I remember. I mean, the
Speaker 1: message is great, but I'm saying, like some of the humor,
Speaker 1: it's like, all right, of course, I remember watching it
Speaker 1: when I was like ten, like why didn't why didn't
Speaker 1: Torrence wine at the end I missed the point. It's
Speaker 1: like very relevant. It's very relevant, and it's crazy how
Speaker 1: much it holds up. Also, one of the best scenes,
Speaker 1: maybe in all of nineties film I think happened, which
Speaker 1: is the toothbrushing scene with Kirsten Dunst. And first of all,
Speaker 1: let me say, Queen Kirston Grammous return at the Oscars
Speaker 1: this past week. She looked unreal at the Oscar. I
Speaker 1: didn't see her. Okay, I'll show you a picture of
Speaker 1: it later. She just totally nailed it. And I hate
Speaker 1: making it about what they wore, but like I couldn't deny,
Speaker 1: like she just looked amazed. Now, Matt and I were
Speaker 1: watching it together and then Matt goes, this is Kirston saying,
Speaker 1: remember me, bitch. No, this is Kirston saying I'm bad.
Speaker 1: And also she's been saying it because she's actually been
Speaker 1: quietly doing great work for like a long time. That
Speaker 1: happened in the past five years far ago, the television
Speaker 1: show Melancholia Big Time, Like she's just good. No, she's great.
Speaker 1: And if you think I think about it, she's actually
Speaker 1: been very present and like kind of movies where like
Speaker 1: we were growing up, like she was in fucking Jumanji. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. She was interview with Vampire Diaries,
Speaker 1: the Vampire Diaries, Yes, and also who could forget I
Speaker 1: mean the Ridge Mary Jane in Star Wars. Yes, Star
Speaker 1: Wars absolutely absolutely, it's Stars War, I said Star Wars,
Speaker 1: I meant Spider Man. I mixed up my multi billion
Speaker 1: dollar franchise and they looked at you, like your starry
Speaker 1: Stars War Spider Wars. You know they'll do it. I
Speaker 1: would see if there was if there was no context
Speaker 1: and someone was just like, hey, Kirston of the movie
Speaker 1: coming out this weekend, Spider War. Ye, yeah, absolutely, don't
Speaker 1: don't even fucking ask me, don't give me a choice.
Speaker 1: I don't want, and then I'd go see Spider Wars.
Speaker 1: I hope it's literally just like someone like on like
Speaker 1: an old cam quarter like following a spider Like, no,
Speaker 1: I want it to be this an old elderly woman
Speaker 1: with a bag of spiders just tossing it out into
Speaker 1: an open field, and another elderly like yes, and then
Speaker 1: she's battling against another elderly spider handler who plays the
Speaker 1: elderly Womenah, where's Kirston, Kirsten? I want Kirsten to voice
Speaker 1: the general of the of the of the side that
Speaker 1: you root for, and I want the women to be
Speaker 1: played by Charlotte che famous elderly actress Charlie and um,
Speaker 1: let's see. Uh he's and that and she wins Oscar
Speaker 1: for that for Spider Wars. She loses for a she
Speaker 1: loses for l to Emma, but she wins for Spider
Speaker 1: Wars best supporting Actress. That was that was the Is
Speaker 1: that Paul Virhoven? Yes, yes, I love I did not
Speaker 1: see that movie, but I lose and I'd not like
Speaker 1: I not see that movie. But also I haven't seen Moonlight.
Speaker 1: You get yeah, I didn't see it. Really got to
Speaker 1: get to it. It's really beautiful. Yeah. I was sub
Speaker 1: tweeted today by Suttie Green who said, I know who
Speaker 1: all of you are who haven't seen Moodlight and she's
Speaker 1: talking about me and pass Patty Harrison now and Patty Harrison,
Speaker 1: don't come from me. Don't come from me in the comments,
Speaker 1: don't come for me on the podcast. I'm sorry, do
Speaker 1: not come for Patty in the comments. Suttie Green, you
Speaker 1: are blacklisted. Suttie Green. How about how about this Snooty?
Speaker 1: How about snoot Green? Snooty mean her? Honestly she deserves it,
Speaker 1: honestly shout out to Snooty Means. But listen, guys should
Speaker 1: at this point, we we've now dived way back. We've
Speaker 1: dived back back back into history. It feels like an
Speaker 1: appropriate time we want to ask Patty the question we
Speaker 1: ask all of our guests. Yes, which is Patty, what
Speaker 1: was the culture growing up that made you think culture?
Speaker 1: I could get used to that. What influenced you? What
Speaker 1: made you say cultures? For me? Like culture? I think
Speaker 1: I'm going to like this. Yeah. It could be a movie,
Speaker 1: It could be a television show, could be music, It
Speaker 1: could be just culture of life, just any culture, any culture.
Speaker 1: What what influenced your path? It could be Suberbia, it
Speaker 1: could be whatever you know. Well, you see, um, I
Speaker 1: was very obsessed. I became very obsessed with um with
Speaker 1: like two Nami and anime, but like like cartoon Network, like,
Speaker 1: let's talk about the two AMNI lineups from when you
Speaker 1: were growing up, probably when we were growing up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't have cable famously, but I would love to nami.
Speaker 1: No really, um, okay, what are we talking about? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't truly have cable. This is hard to Okay,
Speaker 1: we've passed like like but we um. I would say,
Speaker 1: excuse me, you haven't seen Moonlight, Patty. So I want
Speaker 1: to be careful for if I were you talking to
Speaker 1: me about things that you don't you can't move past,
Speaker 1: all right, be careful. Sorry disaster Yeah no, and yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so I guess. Um at first it was um Dragon
Speaker 1: ball Z and then Sailor Moons, and then later on
Speaker 1: there was Tenchi Muyo, there was Tenchi Universe. There was
Speaker 1: Runi Kenshin I Love, and it's Samurai X. Now. I
Speaker 1: think if you like watch it or do they call
Speaker 1: it Rouni Kenshin on Netflix? It on Netflix. It's on
Speaker 1: Netflix they call it Rumoni Knin. They probably called Rooney
Speaker 1: Kenchin across the board. But yeah, I remember the anglicized
Speaker 1: thing was like Samurai AX and it was like watered
Speaker 1: down a little bit because Roni Kenchin was was pretty violent. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: they had to cut they did, I think with like
Speaker 1: dragon bills. I remember seeing a scene later, I'm sorry
Speaker 1: not where it's like Trunks cuts someone in half or
Speaker 1: is it trunks or someone cuts Trunks in half. Yes,
Speaker 1: he takes the sword. The it's during like the Android
Speaker 1: saga and Iconic saga. Yeah, I became That was a
Speaker 1: moment to Unami was like I became blindly obsessed with
Speaker 1: like Asian culture because I was I'm half Vietnamese and
Speaker 1: my mom um I my mom did not try and
Speaker 1: you know, indulge in any way in Vietnamese culture. I
Speaker 1: think she was like escaping a lot of it. So
Speaker 1: she was very much trying to be Americanized and like
Speaker 1: americanize us. So uh yeah, we never, like, I'm she
Speaker 1: never like taught us any the enemies or really like
Speaker 1: went into any of the details. So it was very
Speaker 1: much like, um, we were Ohio people, and so it
Speaker 1: was exciting to me to feel like, oh, these some
Speaker 1: of these like people I guess are supposed to be
Speaker 1: like me. Even though it was like a very glazing
Speaker 1: over of the ship that I'm not Japanese or that
Speaker 1: I'm not. Well yeah, and like it was just the
Speaker 1: thing you could latch onto it just to be like, well,
Speaker 1: this is what Asian media means to. This is the
Speaker 1: closest thing I can I can I can come to
Speaker 1: with Asian media. I mean that is no, I I
Speaker 1: relate to that fully. And even in a house where
Speaker 1: like we did speak Chinese and we did like live
Speaker 1: that culture. Like anime was like the thing that was
Speaker 1: like affirming for just what I would watch and read,
Speaker 1: like what I watched on TV and reading books or
Speaker 1: in manga. I was just like, oh, this is something
Speaker 1: that was made relatively close to where my family leads from. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's yeah, it's it's it's weird. It was huge. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Dragon Ball, z Um Sailor Moon. I remember after school
Speaker 1: just everyone gathering and with Pokemon part of Turnami No Pokemon.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's right, that's right. Oh my god. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is a throw back that stopped real time. Pokemon was
Speaker 1: a real culture. I remember the principle at my elementary
Speaker 1: school came over the loudspeaker and officially banned Pokemon from Yeah,
Speaker 1: we had that moment to everything Pokemon was banned. First
Speaker 1: it was the cards and then there were like erasers,
Speaker 1: pencil top eracers going around for a while at that,
Speaker 1: like because people would just ping them off stuff. So
Speaker 1: then this got banned, and then they just banned everything,
Speaker 1: like you couldn't even wear like a Pokemon shirt. It
Speaker 1: was it was bad. It was like people were doing deals.
Speaker 1: That's deals, Like people were trading cards before school. Uh,
Speaker 1: like during breaks, it was like and it was like
Speaker 1: transactions would be happening during school sometimes, and like, I
Speaker 1: guess it got to the point where the teachers just
Speaker 1: couldn't handle it anymore. So I got to the Principle
Speaker 1: and I remember we had to be sitting in our
Speaker 1: seats for this major announcement. It was like the fucking
Speaker 1: Sessions announcement today. It was like it was like a
Speaker 1: press conference that the Principle was having and she was like,
Speaker 1: at this, from this day forward, there will be no
Speaker 1: more of this. Oh my god, just think about I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, sure, like we had some Christian
Speaker 1: families like forbidden and like force kids to burn their cards,
Speaker 1: but I feel like there's nothing inherently like bad or
Speaker 1: damaging about It's so funny. Well, it was the fact
Speaker 1: that I think it was the fact that. Um, it
Speaker 1: wasn't even that it was a distraction. I think there
Speaker 1: was something to People were getting really upset because they
Speaker 1: felt like they were getting ripped off with the specific
Speaker 1: trade and there was a lot of like drama. And
Speaker 1: I remember even with my own cousin, I convinced him
Speaker 1: to trade me his blastoys for a Venosaur. I had
Speaker 1: a two V the source and he was going he
Speaker 1: had one Blast toys and I he. We did the
Speaker 1: trade and said no tradebacks prior, which was very important,
Speaker 1: and that at that point it was locked in. We
Speaker 1: hands it over the cards and that was that. And
Speaker 1: my aunt called me later that night and says, Michael
Speaker 1: regrets trading the card. He wants it back from Matthew.
Speaker 1: And I was like, there's absolutely no way. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: the deal has been done. I became like a businessman
Speaker 1: in that moment. I was like, no, the transaction is complete,
Speaker 1: but Matthew, Michael regrets. Michael regrets, Matthew. Please. Michael's like
Speaker 1: a godfather moment. It was crazy, and I remember it
Speaker 1: was part of that was like kids crying and kids
Speaker 1: being upset and kids being jealous of each other. It
Speaker 1: became this new materialism it's like he has a charis ard.
Speaker 1: He's socially worth more than us. And still so anyone
Speaker 1: that has a chard nowadays, I'm like, well, yeah, you
Speaker 1: set up straight around them again at me. It head
Speaker 1: from me right now. Blow. You know I have two teeth.
Speaker 1: I give them good and they're right up, one right
Speaker 1: up top at the center and one right at the
Speaker 1: bottom of center. They're so sharp, so deep, they both inside.
Speaker 1: But kids will find any of my mouth, and mouth,
Speaker 1: kids will find anyway like barter and like pedal and
Speaker 1: ship because it's actually natural in the human body. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you learn how to barter, you learn how currency works,
Speaker 1: social and capital capital, And then remember the video game
Speaker 1: Crazy the game Boys Ship still play, I still play, Honey,
Speaker 1: I was too. I it was very poor. I did
Speaker 1: not have a game Boy, but people surrounding me did.
Speaker 1: And then I got a hand. I got a game
Speaker 1: Boy by the time, like game Boy Color. That was
Speaker 1: like the second series of Game with Color. That's when
Speaker 1: my friend who got who had money, who always got
Speaker 1: like toys as soon as they came out, he gave
Speaker 1: it to me. And then I got to play a
Speaker 1: black and white giant game Boy. Oh my god. But
Speaker 1: it was like, remember I remember when the new ones
Speaker 1: would come out, and then I finally lost a handle
Speaker 1: on it when like there was all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: a thousand Pokemon. I was like, I forget it. I
Speaker 1: don't know these people. Yeah, I stopped. I I had
Speaker 1: Pokemon cards for like a while, I think, like into
Speaker 1: eighth grade. It was when the symbol Pokemon. Yes, it
Speaker 1: was just yeah, um and then yeah, remember when those
Speaker 1: those animals can and they just made them letters. That's
Speaker 1: when I stopped. Yeah kind of animals. Um. Did you
Speaker 1: ever watch for Shigi Yugi? Because I was obsessed with that.
Speaker 1: Now what is it about? It's about this Japanese schoolgirl,
Speaker 1: of course, and she gets sucked into this ancient, feudal
Speaker 1: Japanese world where she is deemed the priestess of Suzaku,
Speaker 1: and she's one of four priestesses who has to summon
Speaker 1: twelve other warriors that eaching service to one of the
Speaker 1: four Japanese gods. And it's it's all out war. It
Speaker 1: sounds literally fierce. It sounds fierce, but also like a
Speaker 1: little it was a little it was a logging on
Speaker 1: was very busy. Would have loved the simplicity of Spider Wars.
Speaker 1: Honest Spider Wars, and we're gonna keep coming back to
Speaker 1: the Spider Wars is literally just spiders fighting to see
Speaker 1: who can be the best spider. And I'm anyway, but no,
Speaker 1: Frishiki was great. Um, but yeah, to Nani did to
Speaker 1: Nanni have Johnny Bravo? That was That was Hannah Barbera. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it was a part. It was Cartoon Network. It
Speaker 1: was after so it was like Powerpuff Girls and Johnny Bravo. Uh,
Speaker 1: those cartoons I think came on because I think to
Speaker 1: Nami was from Yeah, it was like anime from Florida,
Speaker 1: like seven or something. I was allergic to Johnny Bravo
Speaker 1: despite him being like your type, my type, big and blonde.
Speaker 1: I liked it when it was on, And then I
Speaker 1: recently saw a clip of the episode where he gets
Speaker 1: turned into a woman and he gets straight harassed and
Speaker 1: he's like understands why it sucks to like harrass women,
Speaker 1: and it's like it's that's powerful. But they only did
Speaker 1: it for one episode, and I's like, my favorite are
Speaker 1: those shows for young kids are pretty I mean they're
Speaker 1: designed for young kids that have like a moral message
Speaker 1: for one second and then go back to being about
Speaker 1: stupid bullshit. Like I remember I watched Lizzie McGuire episode
Speaker 1: one time where Lizzie McGuire's best friend remind me of
Speaker 1: her name. I don't know, but Ladies is like, isn't
Speaker 1: eating and Gordo and Lizzie notice, and for some reason,
Speaker 1: I know the actress's name was Laline, but I don't
Speaker 1: know the characters Miranda, it seems like, but she was
Speaker 1: like not eating, and it was like this plot line
Speaker 1: where she was like really kind of like struggling with food.
Speaker 1: And at the end of the episode, Lizzie McGuire has
Speaker 1: this monologue where she was like, we just want you
Speaker 1: to be happy. We're your friends and to see you
Speaker 1: unhappy like really hurts us, and we want to make
Speaker 1: sure that you're okay, and like they had all had
Speaker 1: a hug. And I was watching with my dad, who
Speaker 1: was a health teacher, and he's like, I'm going to
Speaker 1: show that to my class and I was like maybe,
Speaker 1: but like the rest of the show is about like
Speaker 1: her being a half a cartoon. I don't know what.
Speaker 1: I didn't know. It was so stupid, but then they
Speaker 1: did at that one episode and then there was that
Speaker 1: one episode of that So Raven where she goes to
Speaker 1: get a part time job and she sees a vision
Speaker 1: of the person that owns the store saying I don't
Speaker 1: hire black people. So there it was true. Like every
Speaker 1: now and then, those shows would come out with a
Speaker 1: message social social app and of course who could forget
Speaker 1: the Sabrine of the Teenage which episode about abortion is that?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I was gonna say, Harvey Ship, you
Speaker 1: can't do this without my consent. She's like, yes I can. Um, oh,
Speaker 1: I would die. I would gag for what RuPaul was
Speaker 1: on Sabrina. No, yeah, look it at It's on YouTube.
Speaker 1: He's been on everything, He's been on everything. True. He
Speaker 1: was seth Meyers last night ago. For those of your listening,
Speaker 1: I wonder, oh my god, I could ask our friend, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: who works there, who produces? He produces the interview? Second,
Speaker 1: so I get best he I guess he must have
Speaker 1: talked to RuPaul Henry Melcher if you're listening, what he
Speaker 1: would have told me. I'm sorry, we're not we're not
Speaker 1: talking about Henry. We're not gonna do this. We're not
Speaker 1: gonna do this. We're not gonna talk about any straight
Speaker 1: white men here today. Sorry, it's not even our producer Joe,
Speaker 1: who looks really handsome today. Actually look really good, like
Speaker 1: you got a little bit of a haircut and your
Speaker 1: official hair looks great. You look great. It's also been
Speaker 1: a long time since we've seeing you, so you look
Speaker 1: very handsome, very handsome. What did what did he look like?
Speaker 1: The last Oh my god, fucking beast like you don't
Speaker 1: even understand, like this shovel comes in here, has no presentation,
Speaker 1: ugly like wide stinks like when you got too much
Speaker 1: asshole crap in your crack. Or it's like they did
Speaker 1: one white but it was a messy, muddy ship and
Speaker 1: it said they just made a line up their back
Speaker 1: and they didn't care to do a second wife. The
Speaker 1: best I've ever heard in my life school, which is
Speaker 1: these two kids were fighting and the one kid goes
Speaker 1: to the other kid, Yo, by the way, I sucked
Speaker 1: your mom, and you need to tell her that she
Speaker 1: needs to wipe her asshole better because she's still got
Speaker 1: crap in her asshole. And then he spells it out
Speaker 1: after he said he was like, she's got ship in
Speaker 1: her But just so you know, that's what that joke was,
Speaker 1: and it was just like everyone was too shocked that
Speaker 1: you've gotten that explicit but like he won the fight. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but by going real blue? Did anyone check in with
Speaker 1: the I feel like her her narrative was high napped. Here. Ye,
Speaker 1: she's got she has, she really can't, she can't time
Speaker 1: in the conversation. Do you know why I didn't wipe
Speaker 1: my ass? Because I don't have time? Because I'm doing
Speaker 1: this by myself. I'm a single mother. I have to
Speaker 1: drive you to school and make your fucking sand, which
Speaker 1: was making with my shitty hands. And every time I
Speaker 1: sunk one of my son's students all over my hands,
Speaker 1: sometime I thought one of my son's classmates. I don't
Speaker 1: think about wiping my ass. It's the only thing I
Speaker 1: have time, It's the only release I get. It's a
Speaker 1: they have forty minutes launch to my house. What am
Speaker 1: I gonna do? White my hands? No? I have to.
Speaker 1: I'm not a monster for not wiping my ass. I
Speaker 1: am a monster for sucking a kid. But I'm also
Speaker 1: a single mom, and I'm very busy. Understand. Let's write that.
Speaker 1: I love that. Um, it's the sequel Spider Wars too, Mom, Mom, Mom,
Speaker 1: who does in my grass, but sucks her son's class.
Speaker 1: That's what you're and done plays yes, but she's she
Speaker 1: makes a return apparent, she reprises her role, reprises her
Speaker 1: reprise whatever I'm talking to, reprise, reprise. Okay, here's a question,
Speaker 1: answer it for all time. The second time a song
Speaker 1: is done in a musical, is it a reprise or reprise?
Speaker 1: Reprises the noun, reprises the verb done. Okay, So to
Speaker 1: reprise something, yes, so I use that. I use the
Speaker 1: word wrong with Kirston just now, but it's a reprise
Speaker 1: when it's an object. Do you know what I'm saying? Okay,
Speaker 1: just don't use it wrong again and then we're good.
Speaker 1: But I feel like the colloquially people just go wild.
Speaker 1: It's like people because I want to say biopic, but
Speaker 1: I've been told no, no, no, no, no no. I
Speaker 1: think it's biopic. I maintain that it's biopic by by
Speaker 1: a fuck biopic. Reading an online for so many years,
Speaker 1: what I did think it looked like biopic. No, because
Speaker 1: they're a biopic. That doesn't sound right. It's got to
Speaker 1: be biopic. Because in my film classes and for every
Speaker 1: professor and t A had said biopic. No, because that's
Speaker 1: like them trying to sound smart by saying like rhyming
Speaker 1: it with the word myopic, which is not a genre.
Speaker 1: But where did you go to college? University in Athens, Ohio?
Speaker 1: Athensa state school? State school? Was it? Was it a
Speaker 1: state school? No, Ohio State unt? Yeah, we were an
Speaker 1: hour south. Did you mean her know each other? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Through uh a college improv. We didn't go to school together,
Speaker 1: but we met at os U s improv conference, which
Speaker 1: is which was what was it bell Weather? You did
Speaker 1: in college in the whole? Yeah, Oh my god, bell Weather.
Speaker 1: I wish I would have they so they invited us
Speaker 1: out there in my dan box. We were this close
Speaker 1: to you, and then the trip just didn't work out.
Speaker 1: Oh you should have wentst It's so good. I know,
Speaker 1: I kind of wish I and then maybe we would
Speaker 1: have met each other. I wish we would have done
Speaker 1: more trips that something. Looking back in college, like, I
Speaker 1: wish our groups would have done more. We did some
Speaker 1: and they were all East Coast, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like you guys went to l A one time where
Speaker 1: I was in m y U as well as long
Speaker 1: along with but Bone was in the improv group Danger
Speaker 1: Box and I was in Hammercasts and we just the
Speaker 1: sketch group, and we didn't really do a lot of
Speaker 1: trips like we did a lot of We did one
Speaker 1: to like Yale. We did d C together d C
Speaker 1: and then of course they were skin More Washington, Dell Close. Somebody,
Speaker 1: somebody said a joke about adult Close today was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know who deal closes. But
Speaker 1: I looked at a picture of me and it looks
Speaker 1: like a fucking asshole. Was like white guy with a
Speaker 1: big beard and like glasses. No one's ever seen his eyes.
Speaker 1: He is dead and just saying, you know, you can
Speaker 1: fucking run your mouth all you want, but improv goourse
Speaker 1: can die and when they do, it's hard on all
Speaker 1: of it, you know, and they can't respond. He probably
Speaker 1: got a shitty ask too. And you know what, I'll
Speaker 1: say that can we confirmed that someone wiped? Does? Wait?
Speaker 1: Patty Patty? I think Matt and I want to talk
Speaker 1: all about Patty reviews Exotic Animals Edition and I love it.
Speaker 1: Can you tell um? Can you spill the tea on Nature? Nick? Nature? Nick? No,
Speaker 1: as much as I don't, I'm not as eager to
Speaker 1: let you spell that. I just want to know as you. Okay,
Speaker 1: he leads a private life. Who are we to spill
Speaker 1: all the tea? He is. He honestly loves the attention.
Speaker 1: He is happily married, and he lets his wife a
Speaker 1: name A lot of the animals those are they're okay
Speaker 1: there and she's got the pants and that yes, uh,
Speaker 1: and they raise these animals and um, and I think
Speaker 1: Long Island uh. And he's he is uh. He's very
Speaker 1: nice and formal, and he's a good foil to you,
Speaker 1: a great foil to you. But lately I think nature
Speaker 1: Nick is really just clocking this attention he's getting because
Speaker 1: I think in the new oh, he's been a little
Speaker 1: more sassy. It's been a little more sassy. Yes, well
Speaker 1: that's the So the first series um of episodes, my
Speaker 1: Turtleneck Mustache series, I um, we shot all those in
Speaker 1: one day. And then the second series, which are the
Speaker 1: ones that are being released now, and there's like, I
Speaker 1: think six more. So we did six out one time,
Speaker 1: and then we came back and did another six and
Speaker 1: the second time. He was like, I didn't understand really
Speaker 1: what you were going for the first time, but now
Speaker 1: that I watch it, I get It's like a funny thing,
Speaker 1: and I was like, so he was a good sport
Speaker 1: both times. I think he understood his role, assignment, his
Speaker 1: fucking place. I did like how he was just earnestly
Speaker 1: in the first series, just like yeah, this is this
Speaker 1: animal and well, no, Patty, I don't I don't know
Speaker 1: about that, like just answer about that, very very very
Speaker 1: just innocently, I guess. But I mean, I love everyone
Speaker 1: loves the series. I think, how how did you how
Speaker 1: did you pitch this in there? Was there? Did you
Speaker 1: do a Patty reviews of other stuff before? Was this
Speaker 1: was the Exotic Animals Edition? Like an addendum to like
Speaker 1: something that didn't even exist before. No, so this was
Speaker 1: actually something that was pitched by, I guess helmed by
Speaker 1: Ethan Berlin, who is the creative lead. Uh he he
Speaker 1: is a light uh and he so he just basically said,
Speaker 1: if we if we got um and like an exotic
Speaker 1: animal handler just bringing a bunch of animals, would you
Speaker 1: want to shoot videos of them? And I was like, oh, hello,
Speaker 1: yah queen, And then he was like, what would you
Speaker 1: want to do? I was like, I don't know. He's like,
Speaker 1: can you just like review them or something? So that
Speaker 1: was basically it was very loose, um and very yeah,
Speaker 1: it's very uh, it's uh, there's it doesn't seem like it,
Speaker 1: but there's nuance. And we're saying thing as the Trendon's
Speaker 1: woman of Gather. Everything I do is in insctly political. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: you caught me. I was going to say political and
Speaker 1: I was going to say political. Yes, say it, Matt, yes,
Speaker 1: that word. Yes? And how long did it take to
Speaker 1: shoot the first series? So I feel like that must
Speaker 1: that shoot is? The first series is a bonkers, crazy,
Speaker 1: amazing and I'm like, how could you sustain that energy
Speaker 1: for a whole shoot, for a whole sash? It was
Speaker 1: it was I think a ten ten or It was like,
Speaker 1: I guess we got there. But the shooting it was
Speaker 1: I think probably like eleven to four pm or five pm.
Speaker 1: I think we're gonna see eleven hours. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: eleven hours per animal, all animals, they all passed on
Speaker 1: from wear and tear. Absolutely, what is the animal? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, yes, I think that the best the well
Speaker 1: I had the best time with um there was yeah,
Speaker 1: the wallabies great, the parrot there. So there's a lot
Speaker 1: of stuff that didn't make it in that is uh
Speaker 1: so basically there there's another video coming out that's a
Speaker 1: Kuka Barrah and I think it has another name. It's
Speaker 1: like a kingfisher. But basically, uh, they're both very talkative
Speaker 1: birds like naturally but raised I guess in the wild
Speaker 1: they they communicate with each other, but since they're both
Speaker 1: raising captivity, they talked to when they make noise, they
Speaker 1: talk to people and uh, but they were before we
Speaker 1: were filming. They were both beside each other like on
Speaker 1: like in their cages and they are just like responding
Speaker 1: to any noise. So when one would start, another would
Speaker 1: just start to go. In Kuka Barra's are the loudest
Speaker 1: animal on earth, Like it is the funniest noise, and
Speaker 1: so the parents and the parents the same way. If
Speaker 1: you as soon as you start to talk at the parrot,
Speaker 1: it just starts to be like we're like that ship.
Speaker 1: And so as long as you do it, it will
Speaker 1: do it back in the koko bro is the same.
Speaker 1: So if you just like w w wa wa, it'll
Speaker 1: start to do it back. So and that's so fun
Speaker 1: to me is when someone matches your energy in an
Speaker 1: improv scene. And then also if it's just a bird,
Speaker 1: I had so much fun matching energy with these energies,
Speaker 1: with these birds. It was those were really fun. I
Speaker 1: think that's that's the quote just I think just the
Speaker 1: Patty Harrison quote, not irrespective of this podcast. But I
Speaker 1: had so much fun matching energies with those birds. Rookocko
Speaker 1: Rooko said, I did recently write a song called all
Speaker 1: My Birds, and you guys can look out for it.
Speaker 1: This is real, This is real. This We were in
Speaker 1: Chicago and Matt just wrote this song one night. We
Speaker 1: were just had just finished dinner. I don't even think
Speaker 1: you had that much to drink. This is not a
Speaker 1: drunken thing, No, it never is. I think that it's
Speaker 1: going to be the first single off my untitled album
Speaker 1: as of yet untitled album, and they'll be dropping pretty soon.
Speaker 1: I think, I think, I think, I think the title
Speaker 1: of your album is gonna be Joel Kim Booster Eat
Speaker 1: my Joel Kim Boster Eat my ass. Yeah, for the
Speaker 1: that's out of context, but Joel is in Australia right now,
Speaker 1: and he was on Tinder and he came across the
Speaker 1: profile which was this guy Bryce and the first line
Speaker 1: was Joel Kim Booster eat my ass and then he said,
Speaker 1: I promise mine tastes better than Justin Trudeau's because Joel
Speaker 1: famously posted a pick of Justin Trudeau's. Do you think
Speaker 1: that that means that Joel is famous? Like all of
Speaker 1: a sudden he was scrolling through and do you think
Speaker 1: someone knew he was? I think someone did that come about?
Speaker 1: That's what that means. I hope I get famous enough
Speaker 1: to have people beg you to eat theirs on Tinder
Speaker 1: unlike a real crapshoot of an app to like, It's
Speaker 1: not like he was on Instagram and tagged him. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Anyway, I hope that's what the
Speaker 1: reason was too. But I mean, could it be anything else?
Speaker 1: I'm sure how could we What's a scary thing we
Speaker 1: could find about this? That maybe it's not a good
Speaker 1: thing that he obviously has an ass eating stalker, or
Speaker 1: that his ass has some toxin in it and he
Speaker 1: wants to poison Jewel. Oh my god, do you think
Speaker 1: that there's a witch that's got a spell on this
Speaker 1: boy and he has a poisonous ass like an apple,
Speaker 1: and and he's trying to eat the ass will fall
Speaker 1: into a deep No, Bryce wouldn't get anywhere near a witch.
Speaker 1: That's the only way that need to wake Joel up
Speaker 1: from the sleep is to eat Joel's ass. You know
Speaker 1: what's funny, my dad. I told my dad today about
Speaker 1: this podcast because I don't think he really got what
Speaker 1: it was. And he's like, oh, you gotta send me
Speaker 1: a link, and he just jump onto this episode. We're
Speaker 1: like talking about eating my friend Joel's ass. Okay, Matt's dad,
Speaker 1: imagine this. It's like Sleeping Beauty a story, but it's
Speaker 1: two gay men and one of the men is eternally
Speaker 1: asleep and the only way to wake him up is
Speaker 1: to eat his ass. And when you walk up to
Speaker 1: his castle, he's laying face down, and he's in a
Speaker 1: fucking jock strap and he's in a little cropped mesh
Speaker 1: football T shirts face he's in a Penis the Band shirt.
Speaker 1: That's probably Joel's outfit that I would write that Patty,
Speaker 1: Patty is good. Patty is coming up with a bunch
Speaker 1: of these premises and I'm on board with all them. Well,
Speaker 1: she's trained to come up with premises, I know. But listen,
Speaker 1: I'm saying I just I thought you're going to say
Speaker 1: she's trans, but she's trans and like, just so everyone
Speaker 1: have amazing ideas, just so everyone knows. When I walked
Speaker 1: in the door, Matt turned around and he took his
Speaker 1: straw out of his tab soda and he winked at
Speaker 1: me and she's trends. And then he turned back around
Speaker 1: and then he put he took off two doors. Yes,
Speaker 1: it took two doors stacked on top of each other
Speaker 1: in completely different shapes. Yes. I had dispute every word.
Speaker 1: And that's when I knew that there was there was
Speaker 1: a fracture in the queer community that caused the Fisher.
Speaker 1: Absolutely there. Wait, Patty, I think there's a star, um,
Speaker 1: a potential in your mother because Patty over over Thanksgiving break.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to bring this up, but over Thanksgiving me.
Speaker 1: This is on Patty's Instagram story. Then she later weeks
Speaker 1: later posted it onto Instagram. I'm so glad she did.
Speaker 1: It's um. You start with an Ope fad In on
Speaker 1: Patty's mom Baden scrolling on her phone, and then cut
Speaker 1: to Patty just doing the you know, the reverse shot
Speaker 1: of just us seeing what's on her phone, and then
Speaker 1: Patty has blurred out the phone screen and put an
Speaker 1: overlaid on top of it. Is Hugh Jackman's penis real?
Speaker 1: And then it's just Patty's mom just scrolling through, and
Speaker 1: then cut back to Patty's more scrolling, and then you
Speaker 1: hear off camera Patty saying, Mom, that's so gross. What
Speaker 1: are you googling? And then Patty's mom is like, I'm
Speaker 1: not googling anything. What are you talking about? And that
Speaker 1: performance start making talking about she she has. She can
Speaker 1: just access a gravitas in a way that I haven't
Speaker 1: seen a comedic gravitas where it creates this juxtaposition. It's
Speaker 1: kind of like, I mean, you know, I would say
Speaker 1: on a Farris, on a Harris and Scary movie, Not
Speaker 1: since on a Faris and Scary movie have we seen
Speaker 1: this scravatas wait, I watched Scary Movie to a couple
Speaker 1: of day three is the one you need to watch.
Speaker 1: I have. I had that VHS. I can quote it
Speaker 1: from top to bottom. It's my favorite one. And I'll
Speaker 1: say it again. The best scene in cinema history is
Speaker 1: when Simon Rex Wox that Simon Rex walks out of
Speaker 1: the classroom after getting a date with Anna Faris's character,
Speaker 1: and he closes the door and all the crayons at
Speaker 1: the door, and Regina Hall says, how the fund did that?
Speaker 1: I think the opening scene of the opening scene of
Speaker 1: Scary Maybe three is true. I watched it again. Family
Speaker 1: Anderson and Jenny McCarthy amazing, both of them so good.
Speaker 1: She goes and I love when like she sees like understand,
Speaker 1: Leon sees that, Jenny McCarthy is like obviously. Then she's like,
Speaker 1: are you okays off and she's like, okay, okay. The
Speaker 1: cow says blank. Cow says says blank, dude, dude, And
Speaker 1: it's really funny to see you guys laughing. I don't
Speaker 1: know you guys can't see this, but they are both
Speaker 1: beaming right now, smiles. And that is one of the
Speaker 1: most misogynistic scenes in a film. And as a feminist,
Speaker 1: watching this now is very uh you know? Or are
Speaker 1: they having fun? Women wrote that film? Women wrote that film,
Speaker 1: wrote that film. I listened to an Affais on Rupause
Speaker 1: podcast and she is just a cool fucking person and
Speaker 1: sucking on Affaris is the best. And the way she
Speaker 1: booked Scary Movie was not like she gave herself a
Speaker 1: year to like book and she was not a comedic actress. Yeah,
Speaker 1: super dramatic. All friends are like you're not funny, Like
Speaker 1: what are you doing? It was like, I don't understand,
Speaker 1: you're not funny, and then she was, so she went in.
Speaker 1: She went in for a scary movie and like the
Speaker 1: way in brothers loved her and yeah, and then she
Speaker 1: just did the first movie because if that's why I
Speaker 1: think it's why it's so funny, is that she plays
Speaker 1: it's the dumbest premise of all time, and she just
Speaker 1: delivers every line so sincerely, and that's it's very inspired.
Speaker 1: So much of my sense of humor. What I was
Speaker 1: attracted to is like as a as a comedian, yeah, same,
Speaker 1: I think that any comedic actress, which are two words
Speaker 1: that I comedic actress, Like what does that mean? Also actress? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like if someone came in there and tried to
Speaker 1: play it for comedy, it wouldn't have been you're right
Speaker 1: and you can you can pick up on that right away. Um,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this is all coming back to me.
Speaker 1: First our raid movie I ever saw was Scary Movie
Speaker 1: because my sister and I wanted to see it so badly.
Speaker 1: We're not seventeen, very controversial, so our mom brought us
Speaker 1: to see the Scary movie. And then by the time,
Speaker 1: I forget, I forget, I forget which which actor. This
Speaker 1: was one of the way in his brothers. By the time,
Speaker 1: he's like in the bathroom and there's that glory whole thing,
Speaker 1: and then he gets stabbed in the in the aar
Speaker 1: and dies. My mom was like, we're leaving, and I,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I just this is yeah, I just
Speaker 1: remember that. Just I think that that happened to us.
Speaker 1: With Anchorman. We went to Dorney Park, me and all
Speaker 1: my cousins. No, it was straight, but we went to
Speaker 1: Dorney parkram my cousins and it poured rain so much
Speaker 1: so that they closed down the park. And we're like fuck.
Speaker 1: And my parents were like, all right, we'll go take
Speaker 1: him to the movie. So they took us to see
Speaker 1: Anchor Man. And I was probably thirteen fourteen, but I
Speaker 1: was with my two years my sister who was Ted,
Speaker 1: and my cousin who was nine, Christine and Chelsea, and
Speaker 1: my cousin Michael, and I were laughing, hysterical, and I
Speaker 1: think they made it ten minutes and they were like, no,
Speaker 1: we have to take the girls out, the younger kids.
Speaker 1: And but and I the first time I watched that movie,
Speaker 1: I was like I don't fully get this, but I
Speaker 1: know it's funny. And the second time I watched it,
Speaker 1: I was like, no, this is the best movie of
Speaker 1: all time. Anchor man, I fucking loved it. Is it PG? Thirteen?
Speaker 1: I think it is? And there was like an unrated
Speaker 1: version that came out as the DVD. Yeah, I remember.
Speaker 1: I remember a moment with Austin Powers with a lot
Speaker 1: of vagina when she when she says in Japan, men
Speaker 1: come first and women come second, and and he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: sometimes no one at all. And I remember asking my
Speaker 1: drilling her and what does that? What does that mean?
Speaker 1: And she's like it's a joke. Let's move forward, and
Speaker 1: I said, no, it does come mean tell me what
Speaker 1: comes means. She's like, that's someone forward and I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: so what come for? Oh my god, I mean I
Speaker 1: feel like people are get it now. We got it.
Speaker 1: My dad changed my other room with Austin Powers too.
Speaker 1: And then I went back in the room because he
Speaker 1: was laughing so loud at it, and I was like,
Speaker 1: what is what? I want to be involved and it's like, no,
Speaker 1: you have to get the funk out of here. This
Speaker 1: isn't for you. This is the thing I had no
Speaker 1: one explained it to me because I would just get
Speaker 1: the Austin Powers movies from the library, watched them by
Speaker 1: myself on the basement and not have anyone explained to
Speaker 1: me what the jokes are. And I could probably still
Speaker 1: do with another like watch through and like pick up
Speaker 1: on things that I have not picked up. We recently
Speaker 1: spoke about Clueless watching the movie Clueless, like, being as
Speaker 1: young as we were when that came out, you wouldn't
Speaker 1: get anything. I didn't get anything about the movie Clueless,
Speaker 1: and then later on but I always liked it. But
Speaker 1: then later on you actually get what they're talking about
Speaker 1: and it's like, wow, this is actually so good. I
Speaker 1: think people in our age group are finally now owning
Speaker 1: up to the fact that the scary like the movies,
Speaker 1: like the Scary movie movies and Austin Powers movies were
Speaker 1: like comedically influential for us, and that's all you need.
Speaker 1: You just need the key if if you're at a
Speaker 1: formative age, you just need to see someone who can
Speaker 1: like I mean it could it could. I guess it
Speaker 1: would be considered hack now. But those were like blockbusters,
Speaker 1: blockbuster comedy movies that like everybody saw that you could
Speaker 1: quote with your friends totally and it plans the seat. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it really does. I mean that was actually the first
Speaker 1: time I ever think I wrote creatively. Was like I was.
Speaker 1: I happened to be in a creative writing like class
Speaker 1: that was like an elective in ninth grade, and all
Speaker 1: my friends were talking about this actually is the way I.
Speaker 1: I was bullied in the middle school a lot and
Speaker 1: then didn't have any friends. And then in ninth grade,
Speaker 1: like everyone was talking about Anchor Man and I had
Speaker 1: just seen it, and I was like, quote in the lines,
Speaker 1: and like, quote in lines with them was the way
Speaker 1: I became like friends with everybody, like we all kind
Speaker 1: of thought the same thing was funny. And then I
Speaker 1: remember like that was the first time that really clicked
Speaker 1: for me. It was like, oh, wow, somebody writes that movie.
Speaker 1: And then like I also really got into the television
Speaker 1: show Lost, and I was like, wow, someone writes I
Speaker 1: never but keep talking. I just like know, but like
Speaker 1: just those two things, like I was really like commedically
Speaker 1: satisfied by like Anchor Man and all those like dumb dumb,
Speaker 1: dumb dumb comedies that were coming out at that time,
Speaker 1: like Wedding Crashers came out at that time, and Scary
Speaker 1: Movie three and all that ship and then also like
Speaker 1: I was so into Lost, and then I got really
Speaker 1: into Desperate Houseworms and I got really integraded Anatomy and
Speaker 1: was into all the ABC Network dramas and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, wait, hold on storytelling. And it was
Speaker 1: the first time I ever realized that was like a
Speaker 1: thing people could do market was be a writer in
Speaker 1: that way, because at the time I was such an idiot.
Speaker 1: I just thought being a writer meant like you wrote
Speaker 1: for a newspaper or like wrote novels. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: that seems like really hard or like not interesting. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I always I think my concept of of like film
Speaker 1: and television was that, like you right, director are yeah? Oh,
Speaker 1: like anaf Feris wrote and started this movie and she
Speaker 1: directed it and she's the lead character. So she made
Speaker 1: this movie and this is her movie. And what a
Speaker 1: feminist thing to do. I don't know why I keep
Speaker 1: bringing up feminism. I'm not a feminist and I hate
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Speaker 1: All right, that's enough of that, Let's go back to
Speaker 1: the show. Come on, and we're back with our guest
Speaker 1: Patti Harrison. Now, you guys, we were just talking about
Speaker 1: culture that influenced us in terms of comedic films and television. Well,
Speaker 1: comedic films and dramatic television. Only those two. Only those two. Actually,
Speaker 1: to be real, I still have a hard time watching
Speaker 1: comedies on television. Really, you know what. I like Veep.
Speaker 1: I love it, but but I can't, like, I can't
Speaker 1: get on board with the stuff that like the masses
Speaker 1: like in terms of comedy. Like I really I watched
Speaker 1: about three episodes of Modern Family, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm actually good forever. I'm good forever. I can it
Speaker 1: into Modern Family. Either it's the weird piecing in the rhythms.
Speaker 1: I think it's I've also I've watched. I just find
Speaker 1: it hard to get on board with things. I think
Speaker 1: with my intentions being because I've watched an episode of
Speaker 1: VIEP and I was like, this is incredible, and then
Speaker 1: I haven't watched anymore. Yeah, I do see Henry loves
Speaker 1: to binge Veep and it's one of it's it's kind
Speaker 1: of like Dirty Rock where you could just watch you
Speaker 1: can watch an episode again and it's still funny and
Speaker 1: it's great. But like with with drama television shows, I
Speaker 1: get ups. I got obsessed, obsessed, obsessed, Like I'll sit
Speaker 1: there and bingeing, like right now, you guys listen, Patty
Speaker 1: and Bowen are not on board yet, but big little lies,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you. It is such a gag. I gag
Speaker 1: constantly on this. What is it about? It is about?
Speaker 1: It's about rich moms in Monterey, California, and it's like
Speaker 1: basically stars Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman and Shaleene and Laura
Speaker 1: Dern and it's like the power struggle of moms. Like
Speaker 1: it's like p t a really involved moms who treat
Speaker 1: the fact that there's conflict amongst the kids and birthday
Speaker 1: party drama on the same par as like the murder
Speaker 1: that happened. It's like Desperate Housewives, but with no wink
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's like a it's like
Speaker 1: a really kind of like heightened dark Desperate Housewives, but
Speaker 1: the moms are richer, the houses are bigger, and the
Speaker 1: equality is better. Wow, I feel like you must. It's
Speaker 1: based on a novel, so it's only gonna be one season,
Speaker 1: so it's essentially like a mini series, the seven episodes
Speaker 1: of it. It's not going to do with season two,
Speaker 1: so it's gonna be really good to bend. It's David E.
Speaker 1: Kelly and Jean Marc Valet, who did Dallas Buyers Club
Speaker 1: and Wild. It's really good. See My thing is is
Speaker 1: I saw previous for it and I said, wow, this
Speaker 1: looks visually, uh, pretty pretty. But when are we going
Speaker 1: to have shows about older women and they're not. It's
Speaker 1: not a mom thing, right, a Gray Garden scripted thing. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean it's already happened technically, but like you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, they're qualms that can or they're their
Speaker 1: dilemmas can be beyond like mother, Mother. It's when you
Speaker 1: see I don't know, I will say that. Here's what's
Speaker 1: cool about the show. The initial conflicts conflint. The initial
Speaker 1: conflicts are based on, oh, something happened with our daughters.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, like this really bothers me. But then
Speaker 1: once you get to see what they're actually upset about,
Speaker 1: it's actually a really interesting examination on marriage. It's a
Speaker 1: really interesting examination on like, you know, what happens when
Speaker 1: you're someone who really is driven individual person, but you
Speaker 1: also have to take into account someone else's feelings. Like
Speaker 1: it's like there's it's a lot more than just them
Speaker 1: being moms. Like and I actually think that's part of
Speaker 1: the subversion of it is it's like you do think
Speaker 1: that it is just going to be this thing of like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's funny that they um, it's funny that they get
Speaker 1: that they get all into who's invited to this five
Speaker 1: year old birthday party, But it's for them. It's just
Speaker 1: like that's just like what's on the surface, and it's
Speaker 1: the subject matter. It deals with this really cool exploring
Speaker 1: the deeper control dynamics. Yes, honestly, yeah, it's about power.
Speaker 1: The show is about power. But I just want to
Speaker 1: agree with party though. I want to see a scripted
Speaker 1: drama female driven feud that's about feud. But you know what,
Speaker 1: it's about spiders fighting. Yes, spider wars. It's spider generals.
Speaker 1: Signed they've engineered these spiders. It's kind of like a
Speaker 1: Pokemon or like a bay Blade, where it's these women
Speaker 1: meet in this field and then they release all their
Speaker 1: little spiders in this field. But it's very strategic. It's
Speaker 1: not random. No one knows this, but our Masters, Masters
Speaker 1: and spiders, our old women. That's true. Did you ever
Speaker 1: watch Escafe? No, it's familiar, but I did not. It
Speaker 1: was it about like a giant robot. It was about
Speaker 1: giant robots. It was like Gundam Wing but prettier. Anyway, guys,
Speaker 1: I can watch Girls. I watched the first season of Girls,
Speaker 1: and then I watched the most recent episode, which was
Speaker 1: crazy good, so good. I was put off after I
Speaker 1: watched like a cup like portions of like episodes subsequently
Speaker 1: after the first season, and I was like, what is this?
Speaker 1: And it got pretty weird in the second and third season,
Speaker 1: and then the fourth and fifth season. We're both so
Speaker 1: good and this season has been so great, like this
Speaker 1: this last episode, like everyone's freaking out about it because
Speaker 1: it is genuinely so amazing, but it's emblematic of what
Speaker 1: the show has been for the last two years. And oh,
Speaker 1: there's just this Bottle episode from the past season, from
Speaker 1: season five that with Marnie and it's that's that's what
Speaker 1: I've heard. I've heard us and Williams is knocking it
Speaker 1: out of the park with this boyfriend or ex boyfriend narrative.
Speaker 1: I've been I've heard lots of people gushing about it.
Speaker 1: You go. I think a lot of people are turning
Speaker 1: a corner on a w as she's known on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I was apprehensive about seeing get Out because I was like,
Speaker 1: how can this be good if Alison Williams is in it?
Speaker 1: Because I remember Peter Pan. I will always remember Peter Pan.
Speaker 1: I replay and I'm replaying it now. And but she
Speaker 1: fucking was amazing that movie. Like she was such a
Speaker 1: I couldn't imagine anyone else doing like she's kind of perfect. Well,
Speaker 1: here's the thing, not not two nights ago. I say, Matt,
Speaker 1: let's go see get Out. We have time to kill.
Speaker 1: We've approximately an hour and forty four minutes the runtime
Speaker 1: of get Out to go see get Out. It's to
Speaker 1: the theaters, two streets away. Let's go, and he goes,
Speaker 1: I'm too scared. But then I said, no, it's not.
Speaker 1: It's supposed to be amazing and not just a scary movie.
Speaker 1: And then how scary is it? It's not like it's
Speaker 1: a it's like a thriller. Here you go and like,
Speaker 1: and then some and then there's there's a other sudden moments.
Speaker 1: There was a piece in Vulture today that said the
Speaker 1: headline was just stop being a coward or don't worry cowards.
Speaker 1: Get Out isn't that scary? Yeah, it's not like jump scary.
Speaker 1: It's not like it's not like a spooky like a
Speaker 1: clown creature scary, right, it's it's uh, it's more like
Speaker 1: suspense and like a suspenseful thrill. I guess it would
Speaker 1: be like like Silence of the Lambs lumped in as
Speaker 1: a horror movie, but that's more like No, it's like
Speaker 1: a suspenseful thriller. And you're like following, and I would say,
Speaker 1: get Out is not comparably violent, means there you go. Listen.
Speaker 1: I know, actually I want to go see it. I
Speaker 1: cannot wait to go see it. It's just like it
Speaker 1: gets you know, listeners of last countries as well know
Speaker 1: I'm a jumpy boy. What what movie did you see
Speaker 1: that you were like, this is a scary regret to
Speaker 1: give you an idea of what goes on in here.
Speaker 1: And I'm speaking to like my as to my stomach,
Speaker 1: like I just get so physically inhabited. I had to
Speaker 1: stop watching Breaking Bad because it was too much like
Speaker 1: I I made me anxiously to go see it. I
Speaker 1: couldn't even start to watch Stranger Things because it was
Speaker 1: too scary. Um, yeah, I just but I'll get over it.
Speaker 1: You guys, I'm gonna go see it. That's okay. You
Speaker 1: don't have to be apologetic about no. But I feel
Speaker 1: like I I feel like I it sucks for me
Speaker 1: because it's stuff that I want to go see it,
Speaker 1: Like I want to go see that ship. It does suck,
Speaker 1: and it changes how I think of you. But you know,
Speaker 1: it's okay, I guess, because what do I matter. I'm just,
Speaker 1: you know, an influential and will drag you to death,
Speaker 1: will drag you, drag You'll call you? What does it?
Speaker 1: Snooty mean? Snooty mean? There you go. What were we
Speaker 1: just talking about before we got on this Casper mattresses? Yeah,
Speaker 1: By the way, you should go ahead and get a
Speaker 1: Casper match. Honestly changed my life, Patty, I will. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so great, great to get Dickie down, To get Dickie down.
Speaker 1: Once you put your face on a Casper mattress, it
Speaker 1: won't even matter that you can barely breathe because you're
Speaker 1: getting fucked so hard by your partner. Actually, the design
Speaker 1: of the mattress you can breathe. No matter how many
Speaker 1: knees are on the back of your head, you can breathe.
Speaker 1: And also, um, if we're having trouble seeing afterwards from
Speaker 1: having your face smushed into the casper, get on a
Speaker 1: pair of Warby Parker glasses and you'll never have seen. Guys,
Speaker 1: we are so excited to have sponsors. You have no idea.
Speaker 1: I clapped like a seal seal, like fucking seal pat
Speaker 1: Patty Harrison's a fucking seal. So wait, seriously, is not
Speaker 1: in the Hearst Tower anymore? No, No, we are, We're
Speaker 1: we don't know if I'm going to give away my building,
Speaker 1: don't give it away. But they're not in the Hearst
Speaker 1: Building anymore. Hudson were in Nutson. Find the barge. That's
Speaker 1: where I'll be. I just always passer Mattress up in there.
Speaker 1: I always passed by the hearse Tower because I'm a
Speaker 1: tour guide on a bus and I always look up
Speaker 1: at it and I think, oh, my friends are doing
Speaker 1: comedy there. No, I went there. I wasn't there, so
Speaker 1: seriously was there? And then they left? But then I
Speaker 1: went back there recently, um, and I went inside and
Speaker 1: I was like, because everyone is I think our building
Speaker 1: right now is very nice. It's like my first like
Speaker 1: official comedy job, and I was working at a restaurant before.
Speaker 1: So I'm just amazed to be like working in the
Speaker 1: city and like this is this is all you miss
Speaker 1: working at a restaurant? Well everyone, yes, honestly, I miss
Speaker 1: working at a restaurant. And someday I will own one.
Speaker 1: It's going to be called uh ham ham Sandwich and
Speaker 1: not affiliated with data Hamill. It's gonna be called ham
Speaker 1: Sandwich Store, and we're gonna be selling not even artesianal
Speaker 1: Ham sandwiches. I'm going to go out to the store.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be and I'm going to Brice ham Boar's head. Also,
Speaker 1: they that cannot hold it cannot do anything because thet's
Speaker 1: old Moniker used to be Ham Sam Sandwich Hamwich and
Speaker 1: not sandwich. So there you go. You're in the clear.
Speaker 1: But okay, so you so this is so you went
Speaker 1: back and you saw you went back was just beautiful.
Speaker 1: It's it's so great And did you know it's made
Speaker 1: of over recycled steel and at the top of the
Speaker 1: building there's a basin that catches all the rainwater and
Speaker 1: precipitation and they use that water to heat, cool and
Speaker 1: power the building, and as a Platinum certification l E.
Speaker 1: D certified a leader and Energy and Environmental design. It
Speaker 1: was actually the first guy scraper to be um constructed
Speaker 1: after the events of nine eleven, so it holds a
Speaker 1: very special place in New Yorker's hearts. Yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: I always think about when I see Hers Tower, Matt,
Speaker 1: that is devastating. That whole thing you just did. Why
Speaker 1: I don't I mean, you guys can't see this because
Speaker 1: it's a podcast, but his eyes he welled up and
Speaker 1: they're they're fully bleeding. I welled up and blood came
Speaker 1: out of It's crazy what happened. I welled up, clear tears,
Speaker 1: and then I cried blood. If you really want to,
Speaker 1: you can date a building. I really want to Her Tower,
Speaker 1: you know. Construction began on the Hearst Tower in and
Speaker 1: then in obviously the stock market crashed, so the building
Speaker 1: only stood at six floors for almost seventy five years
Speaker 1: until two thousand and six when the Hearst Corporation they
Speaker 1: had their money back, they had patty back, and they
Speaker 1: began construction on what was to be completed as the
Speaker 1: Hearst Tower But here was the thing. The building had
Speaker 1: been historically landmarked. So when that happens, you can't touch it,
Speaker 1: you can't change it, you can't even look at it
Speaker 1: the wrong way. So they had to find a loophole.
Speaker 1: That's what they do. They literally created a loophole. They
Speaker 1: dug out the middle of that Hearst tower and built
Speaker 1: that modern steel structure from the six floor up, and
Speaker 1: now we have the amazing green, environmentally friendly building we
Speaker 1: have today. Matt, this is fucking psychotic, and I have
Speaker 1: called the police. I have truly called you. Guys should
Speaker 1: all be paying me money right now, because I'm giving
Speaker 1: you part of the experience. I know, my cat. Wait,
Speaker 1: hold on, I'm looking at cider window. There's a Sacks
Speaker 1: player who's doing a break dance. Oh my god, Matt,
Speaker 1: tell us about him. Well, you know, buskers can make
Speaker 1: up to five dollars a day. So it's Gotham this magazine?
Speaker 1: Is that true? Allegedly, That's how I begin that segment.
Speaker 1: You guys, come to the come to the tour? I do.
Speaker 1: I don't want to. Oh why not? Why not just
Speaker 1: self plugged your your own job? Because why because why guys? Wait, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is called Matt Spider Tours. It's called All Lives
Speaker 1: Matt Tours only for people. You guys, we have a
Speaker 1: really amazing wait wait, I just have to say real quick.
Speaker 1: You're into the intonation of um is it? Uh? Was it? Miami?
Speaker 1: I'm I'm the head, Which I'm the head, which the greatest? Which?
Speaker 1: Which which I'm the greatest? Which I'm glued? But then
Speaker 1: you cancel it. No, we didn't cancel it. It's just
Speaker 1: that sometimes inspiration doesn't strick. Although we can announced right now,
Speaker 1: I respect that what are we doing? I don't know what.
Speaker 1: This is time to announce what has happened that there
Speaker 1: will be We've announced two nights in Austin coming out
Speaker 1: on March five and March six. We're doing it. We're
Speaker 1: gonna be driving and we're gonna be in College Station.
Speaker 1: We're going to be in College Station in Texas. Everyone
Speaker 1: can look out for us. They're all of our fans
Speaker 1: in College Station. We're coming on March five, and all
Speaker 1: of our fans fans in Austin. We're going to be
Speaker 1: out on March six. We're going to be in production
Speaker 1: were South Congress, South Tower. Let's just say one of
Speaker 1: the one of the episodes. Were excited to announce the
Speaker 1: episode title, here we go, what is that feud? This
Speaker 1: is the first this is honestly the first time hearing
Speaker 1: of this. And also, yeah, and don't you fucking aren't
Speaker 1: you fucking it in your skin about that? Because you
Speaker 1: love to call yourself the producer of this project. You
Speaker 1: love to be in creative control. You have to be
Speaker 1: in the driver's seat. Well guess what I'm here too? Okay,
Speaker 1: well then, okay, Well, this is Matt Rodgers is the show,
Speaker 1: and there's been a little bit of a power power
Speaker 1: struggle here. I just want to say, Patty, to address this,
Speaker 1: we did have to cancel. I felt like viewership and
Speaker 1: engagement was down. I felt like it was time why
Speaker 1: not go out on the said Bowen is a very
Speaker 1: negative presence. I will say that like when he feels
Speaker 1: like when he feels like when we're on the set
Speaker 1: of of Knights In, Bowen will get very negative when
Speaker 1: he feels like we're not fulfilling his creative vision because
Speaker 1: he gets very arrowed in on what he wants it
Speaker 1: to be, and then he really cares about likes. I
Speaker 1: don't know if anyone knows this really cares about likes,
Speaker 1: and once things aren't immediately hitting, he immediately gives up
Speaker 1: and things we should just do other things on our vacations.
Speaker 1: But I don't want to do other things on our vacations.
Speaker 1: I want to create content. I want to remove this
Speaker 1: stigma of caring too much about likes. Likes is likes
Speaker 1: are the most immediate feedback we have now. And you
Speaker 1: know you care about likes, Patty, I am, I do,
Speaker 1: and I I guess my relationship with likes is kind
Speaker 1: of not what a lot of the relationship a lot
Speaker 1: of people have with likes. And I think if I
Speaker 1: explain it now, it would sound all willy wonky, and
Speaker 1: then I would probably just sound crazy or something that
Speaker 1: it's like a love hate relationship. And I think a
Speaker 1: lot of people can identify with that in the very
Speaker 1: least with anything other than likes. You know, you have
Speaker 1: your parents, and some people say I love my parents,
Speaker 1: but I don't like my parents. You have you know,
Speaker 1: that's the same thing. Anyways, I don't know. Bowen is difficult,
Speaker 1: and we've seen it and we know that he's difficult,
Speaker 1: which is that Bowen is very difficult. Yes, you know what,
Speaker 1: I just hope that going into this next series, the
Speaker 1: next two series, that bowen Um will give an open
Speaker 1: mind because we have a great cast. Would we have
Speaker 1: a great cast and I won't announce who they are,
Speaker 1: but you know what, it's a great cast. And I
Speaker 1: just want to make my dream is that someday and
Speaker 1: in not not in a shoehorned way, that it naturally
Speaker 1: occurs that I am for some reason I'm traveling with
Speaker 1: I was just going to say, it would be an
Speaker 1: honor to travel with Patty and do a where would
Speaker 1: you like to go? While the strings hind this guy,
Speaker 1: I do want to say I do my best work
Speaker 1: in Orlando. I agree in general, it's because the reason
Speaker 1: why the reason why Chicago was tough was because it
Speaker 1: was hard to shoot because we couldn't do outdoor scene.
Speaker 1: It was cold. It was very cold, and it was
Speaker 1: windy and cold and we were just indoors and too
Speaker 1: much light reflecting off that bean bean the bean was Patty.
Speaker 1: With that in mind, what's your dream location um? In?
Speaker 1: In the United States? I think I think California is
Speaker 1: just so diverse. The terrain even even like the hills
Speaker 1: where like you can hike in It's like Puma Country.
Speaker 1: It's scary, but it's just very beautiful tall grass like
Speaker 1: it's it's you could like I see a shot with
Speaker 1: someone running up a hill. Yeah, yeah, yes, with their
Speaker 1: arms in that way, like it's Paulina Rubio somewhere. She
Speaker 1: just shot up out of bed, Like who's Who's She's
Speaker 1: doing fine? People fucking love her? Okay, charged charge charged
Speaker 1: charge charged. Guys. Listen, we have a new segment to
Speaker 1: debut today. Come on, it's is a historic really going
Speaker 1: to be great because I know that what you all
Speaker 1: gag for and what you all wait for is I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. But the thing is, we've given
Speaker 1: birth to a sister segment, I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: and it's called take it Away by My perfect Little
Speaker 1: do Da Day. Now, what we have people do this
Speaker 1: as a social segment. We want you to submit to us.
Speaker 1: You're a short description short of your perfect culture filled
Speaker 1: day and in your wildest dreams, what would you do.
Speaker 1: Money is no object, location is no object. You can
Speaker 1: fly anywhere and back within the within the day. And
Speaker 1: so we've gotten some great responses. Now, now what we're
Speaker 1: gonna do. We're gonna read one and then as a
Speaker 1: group with Patty, we're gonna we're gonna critique. Can I
Speaker 1: ask just to clarify what what is a culture field day? Well,
Speaker 1: it can really mean anything. If culture to you, it
Speaker 1: to's you know, too little Cindy lou who means being
Speaker 1: in Huville, then that means Cindy Luke, who will want
Speaker 1: to go back to Huville and then and then I
Speaker 1: hope she would, you know, yes, of course, I mean
Speaker 1: it should be so incubated, not be so incubated. But
Speaker 1: I think Cindy Lee, who of all people needs to
Speaker 1: needs to go to a college in a big city.
Speaker 1: I think right now, yes, Cindy Lee, who has high
Speaker 1: high is a very high executive in go to south
Speaker 1: By Southwest. Yeah, there you go. She I think should
Speaker 1: her parents, who obviously are very wealthy. I mean, Christine
Speaker 1: Baranski is your mom that she was the next door neighbor. Oh,
Speaker 1: I thought she was the mom. Wasn't horny too? She
Speaker 1: was so she was horny and rich, and that was
Speaker 1: like the who that she was. She basically really wanted
Speaker 1: to the grinch. I think she actually probably had something
Speaker 1: going on. Christine Flash I had something going on. Guys.
Speaker 1: Um just let's open this up to the to the listeners.
Speaker 1: If you think Christine Baranski's character and how something going on,
Speaker 1: let us do you think do you think she should
Speaker 1: that she was unrightfully unfunn Do you think she should
Speaker 1: have gotten I think that she has debilitating like Michael
Speaker 1: Fastbender asked, like sex addiction, like in Shame. And I
Speaker 1: think Christine Baranski in The Grinch is obsessed with sex
Speaker 1: in a way that it's like a violence against herself. Yeah. Sure,
Speaker 1: she's succumbing to think it's an illness like hur like chaffey. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like she shot those lights onto her house in
Speaker 1: that one scene, and then she got behind the door
Speaker 1: and immediately started weeping, and she watched porn. Porn, it's
Speaker 1: the same, but their noses are differently. It's just sex,
Speaker 1: just as fucking graphic. Honestly, thinking about who's fucking has
Speaker 1: gotten me really excited to do this segment. So yes,
Speaker 1: we and culture is open to interpretation. Culture could be
Speaker 1: I sat out on my deck and drank a peach
Speaker 1: t if you live in Georgia, that's culture. So it's
Speaker 1: really just the way you want to spend your life
Speaker 1: for the day. Culture is life. Culture is not just film, okay,
Speaker 1: for the basics out there, cultures not just movies and music.
Speaker 1: Culture is not just Beyonce for you fucking basics. Oh wow,
Speaker 1: Matt is coming for the basics, Dragon Coming Mys. So
Speaker 1: today's perfect little Duda Da comes from Jesse. Jesse. We
Speaker 1: love you so much Jesse, and we're gonna take it away.
Speaker 1: You read this, okay? I would like to read this
Speaker 1: culture by Jesse. My perfect Duda day, Wake up to
Speaker 1: Chance the Rapper, eat a bacon, egg and cheese, and
Speaker 1: catch up on TV Big Little Lies, Girls, New Girl
Speaker 1: people should get back on it. Uh. And then I'd
Speaker 1: probably walk around a cool neighborhood and NYC or explore
Speaker 1: Brooklyn so much culture, or see a bunch of movies
Speaker 1: back to back in the theater. My night would probably
Speaker 1: consist of going to a lot of comedy shows until
Speaker 1: I wanted to bar from quick comedy forever. Wow, that's
Speaker 1: from Jesse. So alright, So right off the bat, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say, this sounds like a great day. Sounds great.
Speaker 1: I would say, um, well, what are your initial thoughts? Guys?
Speaker 1: I want Jesse to go to a waterfront. I feel
Speaker 1: like that that was always I was gonna say water
Speaker 1: park in New York City, that she's she's keeping it
Speaker 1: pretty local to you. And I did say before that
Speaker 1: location is no object, like she could go. I think
Speaker 1: she should have gone to a water park here. Sure,
Speaker 1: I'm fine with if Jesse is not a fan of
Speaker 1: water parks, I would suggest you go to the waterfront. Um,
Speaker 1: I think she needs to go to splus Blash on
Speaker 1: Long Island. Do you think so? Yeah? I think the
Speaker 1: way I would critique this is she should do none
Speaker 1: of what she said. She should have woke up early,
Speaker 1: she should have not and she should have woken up
Speaker 1: to an alarm because not chance the rapper. No, don't
Speaker 1: listen to that. Get into the car, don't listen to
Speaker 1: any music. Just on the way there, text your friends
Speaker 1: say hey, maybe it's splitsh Blash, which is a water
Speaker 1: park along island. Drive out, no context. Just at nine
Speaker 1: a in the morning, her friends get a Texas As
Speaker 1: meet me and they know and they know where to go,
Speaker 1: and then they meet there. They do all the ride
Speaker 1: until the park closes. Um. At the end of the
Speaker 1: day they go right home and they're exhausted because they
Speaker 1: had such a great time and they just go to bed.
Speaker 1: Could I think that's that's what I would have done
Speaker 1: for if I was Jesse, and that to me makes
Speaker 1: this a failure. Okay, Patty, did you have something to say? Well,
Speaker 1: first stuff, I was going to say, going to a
Speaker 1: theme park and writing every single ride kind of sounds
Speaker 1: like it's, you know, having sex point where it's violence
Speaker 1: against yourself. That's where it's just chafing. It's just it's
Speaker 1: not fun to write that many rides. It is not
Speaker 1: that fun. It's jarring in your body hurts. I would
Speaker 1: say the one thing she should do when she wakes
Speaker 1: up as listen a chance the rapper. I disagree. I
Speaker 1: think that she should definitely listen to him. I think
Speaker 1: he's he's you know, he's don amazing stuff. He's unrepped
Speaker 1: that is unrepped, that he's no label. No, I mean
Speaker 1: I think he probably has like an agent. Sure, I
Speaker 1: said I misspoke, but he's spoke in a length about
Speaker 1: how he refuses to release anything via label because they
Speaker 1: own all of the publishing rights and all the royalties.
Speaker 1: But anyway, yes, I think that's the most cultured part
Speaker 1: of the day, and I think it goes down from there.
Speaker 1: I need New Girl something. I watched New Girl on
Speaker 1: a plane and then I watched another episode and another
Speaker 1: episode because it made me laugh. And you just said
Speaker 1: that you don't watch comedies. Maybe maybe I'm basic basic patty,
Speaker 1: So you're so it all goes downhill. Any recommendations, constructive
Speaker 1: recommendations on how to make it better, No, I hate
Speaker 1: giving people advice. I don't want to ever say anything constructive.
Speaker 1: I just want people to feel the sting of my
Speaker 1: a little venice. I'm a bit I honestly, I really
Speaker 1: like I feel like, uh, I've watched New Girl. So
Speaker 1: something that I think in terms of my opinions that
Speaker 1: I think frustrates people sometimes with me is that I think, um,
Speaker 1: there is this idea of, you know, someone being a
Speaker 1: trans person in the queer community, and the media representation
Speaker 1: of a trans person is that naturally they're sassy or
Speaker 1: their course, because it's kind of it's kind of analogous
Speaker 1: to drag queens, and it's that sass and that spark.
Speaker 1: I have very very neutral opinions about most things. I
Speaker 1: am very reasonable and I don't have super strong opinions.
Speaker 1: I do have strong opinions, but I can also in
Speaker 1: a lot of in a lot of ways, see like
Speaker 1: the opposite and I and I always would say I guess.
Speaker 1: I always would say I guess. I would say that
Speaker 1: because I don't like New Girl doesn't mean it sucks.
Speaker 1: I think it means that it's just not for me,
Speaker 1: But I can appreciate the fact that it is entertaining
Speaker 1: to a lot of people, and a lot of people
Speaker 1: that I respect. On that note, I think starting my
Speaker 1: day with watching New Girl would be a nightmare and
Speaker 1: I would split my I would slit, you know, my
Speaker 1: my arteries in the back of my legs. I brought it.
Speaker 1: Surely die sounds like the recommendation is instead of watching
Speaker 1: just a great chance of rappers, great start, and it's
Speaker 1: but instead of the New Girl. Well, she also said
Speaker 1: big little lies and girls, So maybe after big little
Speaker 1: ezes and girls, she wants something that she can mindlessly
Speaker 1: watch while she, I don't know, brushes her teeth or
Speaker 1: something that I think New Girl is a mindless watch,
Speaker 1: and then girls might Big Little Liza. Sounds like there's
Speaker 1: nuance there, so that might be more challenging. Sure, I mean,
Speaker 1: start with big little eyes and girls and then end
Speaker 1: with slitting your knee um, okay, yeah, that that sounds good.
Speaker 1: And comedy shows she said to go, she doesn't want
Speaker 1: to go and see she doesn't see them anymore. There
Speaker 1: you go, and I will go see them until she barths,
Speaker 1: until she wants to quit comedy. So that but that's
Speaker 1: her dream day, that's her dream day. But I think
Speaker 1: she I think she wants to come back in and
Speaker 1: be excited about comedy and what she's doing. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Yeah, I think famously is this true?
Speaker 1: Comedy shows earlier in the night are better and then
Speaker 1: as they get a little bit later, they get a
Speaker 1: little bit wackier. Wait is this according to who? Is
Speaker 1: just just my assessment of the theaters I've been to
Speaker 1: and seeing, Like sometimes you sit for a show and
Speaker 1: like oftentimes they like quote unquote good shows will be
Speaker 1: at like eight and nine thirty and then ten, and
Speaker 1: then let's shows that are on like eleven and twelve.
Speaker 1: It's like people maybe take them a little bit less
Speaker 1: seriously because there's less people there. As you're talking about
Speaker 1: programming theaters at theaters in general. Yeah, I'm just saying
Speaker 1: like at that point, it's like, okay, we're taking this
Speaker 1: a little bit less serious, Like now now I can
Speaker 1: bar that. I think. I think those slots. You know,
Speaker 1: if someone has like an eleven or later show, they're
Speaker 1: probably like, there's not so many people coming this. I
Speaker 1: can be more laxed with my before presentation. And then
Speaker 1: it's it's so a it you know, becomes wackier. Or
Speaker 1: it's like, if you get booked on a show at
Speaker 1: four pm, you better bring your a game because very
Speaker 1: early Ellen Ellen will be there. Ellen will be there.
Speaker 1: It will be packed. She's going to bring Ellen comes
Speaker 1: to shows. Ellen comes to shows. That's what I love
Speaker 1: about her. Ellen heckled me. What did she say? What
Speaker 1: did she say? I was I was get this, I'm
Speaker 1: getting it. I was on a showcase for one of
Speaker 1: the biggest networks on TV. Oh my god, you can't
Speaker 1: say what it is. Don't say it. I can't say
Speaker 1: what it is. DOS Comedy Showcase, Comedy Showcase. It was
Speaker 1: at one pm at much More. Yes. I go up
Speaker 1: on stage and then Ellen sitting there, She's sitting there
Speaker 1: and and fucking in her suit and her full erect
Speaker 1: penis is just out, and she she just says, I
Speaker 1: didn't come here see some fucking tranny and then she
Speaker 1: threw through a handful of Swedish fish and tell to me,
Speaker 1: was Ellen degenerous? This happened, This is real, and it
Speaker 1: was mortifying to me. She sounds like a humiliating person.
Speaker 1: She called me a trani and then she she was like,
Speaker 1: just so you know, it's t r o h n N.
Speaker 1: I'm e I g h like Jennifer Jason Lee. Like
Speaker 1: how she spells her name. She sounds disgusting. She's a
Speaker 1: bad person. Let's take let's boycott Ellen. We are I've
Speaker 1: legitimately come for Ellen on this show you have, but
Speaker 1: we are going to I will. I want to transcribe
Speaker 1: that story word for word, and I want it. I
Speaker 1: will make it my cover photo. Yeah good, just you watch.
Speaker 1: I want people to know about this. We're going to
Speaker 1: print that on a T shirt. We are, but we
Speaker 1: are alright, guys, well you know what. We're gonna put
Speaker 1: your name on the end. So just just good luck
Speaker 1: and never booked on Ellen and your weapon. Maybe ten
Speaker 1: years from now, she'll book you and then you'll have
Speaker 1: to just very harmingly explain what this was about. No, no, okay,
Speaker 1: no wait, it was funny because it was a joke
Speaker 1: and she slowly removes her seventeen inch the lass day
Speaker 1: and as I remember you, you, Tronny comes out in
Speaker 1: the bear costume and scares you. And then she she
Speaker 1: gets up and she's like dancing. Wait, that was my
Speaker 1: favorite part of the oscars. I'm just kidding. I liked
Speaker 1: it though, I like that song any more. Words of
Speaker 1: wisdom for Jesse here was honestly, that sounds like a
Speaker 1: good day, lax a lax ascid day, a neighborhood and animals,
Speaker 1: see and exploring Brooklyn. Yes, you explore the boutiques on
Speaker 1: Atlantic Avenue. She was vague here. Yeah, I give some
Speaker 1: specific things she should I don't think I don't think
Speaker 1: she's being to VG. This is my only recommendation. I
Speaker 1: want her to go go to Best Buy at Atlantic
Speaker 1: Terminal by a too terror byte hard drive, and I
Speaker 1: want her to back up every device she owns, because
Speaker 1: you never know what's gonna happen. This is a good
Speaker 1: day now, but law of averages, she's gonna have a
Speaker 1: shitty fucking day where she where her her laptop balls
Speaker 1: in a puddle. And also that mall has a cold
Speaker 1: stone and the sizes and the sizes gotta have it
Speaker 1: I always gotta have it, always gotta have it. No,
Speaker 1: I always do gonna have it. I always do the
Speaker 1: biggest fucking one. And you know what, I mix cotton
Speaker 1: candy ice cream with strawberries and rain bust sprinkles because
Speaker 1: I'm a gameman bitch. Oh yeah, hey y And then
Speaker 1: you tip them, you tip them in the tipped them
Speaker 1: and then they sing, hey, y'all, we got a tip,
Speaker 1: and then they do this song. A few times I
Speaker 1: got tipped like that, but I never got tipped aget.
Speaker 1: Hey hey, so I ain't got a tip in my
Speaker 1: jar and got it to even my jar? Is that
Speaker 1: a real? Sounds very real? I don't think so. I
Speaker 1: think I made up that tune. That's a good one.
Speaker 1: They can use that for frez. I gotta I gotta
Speaker 1: be honest. Every time I've ever gone into cold Stone
Speaker 1: Creamery and I asked for the ice cream of my choice,
Speaker 1: which changes day to day, so I'm not going to
Speaker 1: say one. I love mint chocolate chip. So but anyways,
Speaker 1: sometimes I go in, um, well, I guess not. Sometimes
Speaker 1: every time I go in, I say, and they asked
Speaker 1: me for the size, I say, gotta have it? Do
Speaker 1: I gotta have it, and then I kind of like
Speaker 1: look around and I say, yeah, I gotta have. And
Speaker 1: then they look at me and they say, and she's
Speaker 1: behind you, and so is the bear and just resting
Speaker 1: her fl she rests it and it hits the base
Speaker 1: of my neck. That's how big her flashic talk. And
Speaker 1: then one at a time that all the creamer. The
Speaker 1: creamers go to R O H and and E I
Speaker 1: G H. It's really visceral for me. I must thank you, Jesse.
Speaker 1: I hope can now live a better day. Okay, And
Speaker 1: now I think here we go. For those of you
Speaker 1: who don't know, I Don't Think So Honey is the
Speaker 1: cornerstone of our podcast. This is where we each take
Speaker 1: one minute on the clock to rail on something in culture.
Speaker 1: And we have a very exciting announcement about I Don't
Speaker 1: Think So Honey. This is our first episode since we've
Speaker 1: been nowsha and you know what, Patty Harrison is going
Speaker 1: to be involved. On March one, at Littlefield, you guys,
Speaker 1: at eight pm, we have Last Cultures Live I Don't
Speaker 1: Think So Honey. We have fifty comedians that are going
Speaker 1: to be coming up. They're all going to take a
Speaker 1: minute to do a live I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: this is gonna be so fun. We have some amazing
Speaker 1: people booked for the event. We're not going to name
Speaker 1: their names because they may drop out. I don't want
Speaker 1: to drink I don't want to drink it. I just
Speaker 1: want to make sure that everyone like is there, Patty.
Speaker 1: If you drop out, we will send Ellen. I will
Speaker 1: send Ellen. Okay, all right, So we have amazing people, seriously,
Speaker 1: people from SNL, people from Late Night. It's it's going
Speaker 1: to be incredible. It be very funky, amazing. Here we
Speaker 1: go tonight. People Target Target is going to be there, um,
Speaker 1: people people who fucking don't work at television shows who
Speaker 1: are just as good. I don't know who these people
Speaker 1: think really Target ladies. I think people like snooty mean
Speaker 1: will be there. We'll be there. Yeah, okay, alright, guys,
Speaker 1: So I don't think there any I don't. I kind
Speaker 1: of have something prepared. What about you? Well, then you
Speaker 1: should go first. Well I kind of do well, I
Speaker 1: kind of don't at all. And so yes, some more wine?
Speaker 1: All right? Well know, yeah we've been drinking. What the
Speaker 1: fuck you sit where you where you are, and you judge.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's very Jesus. Okay, that's so such
Speaker 1: to that's not very Jesus. Such an incendiary uh you know,
Speaker 1: drag from Matt. I gotta say, Matt is very vocal,
Speaker 1: very political these days. That is a political statement. Well
Speaker 1: you know what, judge not lest you be judged. Okay,
Speaker 1: here we go. This is my own things. Exhausting to
Speaker 1: think in these terms, but I do, alright, Bowen yangs,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Starts, I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: gay shop keeps when I walk into their boutiques and
Speaker 1: they shoot me mean eyes because I'm wearing gym shorts. Bitch,
Speaker 1: I am a customer, a potential customer, until you shot
Speaker 1: me those that stupid, fucking mean mug. Honey. I was
Speaker 1: gonna buy it. Maybe a nice Stephen Allen shirt, how
Speaker 1: about that Steven Allen on Atlantic Avenue. I see you, bitch,
Speaker 1: those shop keeps wearing they're fucking you know, tortoise shell glasses,
Speaker 1: who think they're all all that? Honey? No, honey, I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. I'm there a shop here whereas
Speaker 1: I'm near to try on your your fucking you know,
Speaker 1: twill shirts, and I was gonna buy one even though
Speaker 1: it's overpriced at like a hundred and fifty dollars. I
Speaker 1: was gonna I was gonna show out that one fifty
Speaker 1: for that tool shirt, honey, until until you you you
Speaker 1: shot your unshaven, craven fucking face at me. Bitch. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, Honey. I will not give you my money,
Speaker 1: and I will never give you my money. I will
Speaker 1: be shopping at the Moogie, at the ever Lane, at
Speaker 1: the Unique Clothes honey of the world, because those shop
Speaker 1: keeps are on my level and they're treat me with respect.
Speaker 1: That's one minute. Wow, I can't. I gotta say, I
Speaker 1: love that you said shop keep shop keeps. That's what
Speaker 1: they are, honey. If this for feudal fucking society, there
Speaker 1: would be nothing. They would be the rabble, and I
Speaker 1: would go into their stores and and I should be
Speaker 1: the ones shooting mean looks. That's what I think, the rabble.
Speaker 1: It's like, I remember I learned what that word meant.
Speaker 1: Angelina Julius Maleficent was like, you invited everyone, even the rebel.
Speaker 1: She goes, well, that's a crazy fucking Maleficent impression. My
Speaker 1: problem with Angeliana Jolie is she's not sexy enough, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. One of the ugliest women is
Speaker 1: sexy enough. Like for me, it's like, come on, like,
Speaker 1: do a little bit more sexy for me. Every actress
Speaker 1: just doing a little bit more sexy, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. If I'm a casting drive for to Hollywood,
Speaker 1: I'm just sitting behind my desk and I'm like, come on,
Speaker 1: doing more sexy. Okay, alright, so we're where Patty, do
Speaker 1: you mind macOS? And then after you've seen two being done,
Speaker 1: you'll know. Now I know a topic that I want
Speaker 1: and who knows how it will turn out? Okay, here
Speaker 1: we go. You know what? This is the beauty If
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, we were never fully prepared
Speaker 1: until we go. We're never fully dressed without a smile.
Speaker 1: And this is Matt Rodgers. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Time starts now. I don't think so, honey. When servers
Speaker 1: and bartenders pour beer in a smaller glass just because
Speaker 1: of the kind of beer it is, bitch, I want
Speaker 1: my beer in a fucking sixteen ounce pint every time.
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear here that you recommend a
Speaker 1: fucking lgin pale ale And then I get it. In
Speaker 1: a fucking scoop dupe glass. I want my beer in
Speaker 1: a tall ask glass. I don't want to get a
Speaker 1: beer next to my friend and all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: just because he gets a stella, he gets to have
Speaker 1: a big s beer. I want to have just as
Speaker 1: much volume in my glass as ever. And guess what,
Speaker 1: I don't know if we're trying to protect me, because
Speaker 1: I can handle myself. Bitch. I've been twenty one for one, two, three, four,
Speaker 1: five six years coming in three days. Yes, that's right,
Speaker 1: it's my birthday, all right. Well, guess what if I
Speaker 1: wanted something in a small glass that was an alcoholic drink,
Speaker 1: I would ordered a glass mer low Cabernet rose, any
Speaker 1: of the whites I would have ordered wine. I would
Speaker 1: have ordered a mixed drink. If I wanted a small glass.
Speaker 1: Don't get me no cooler, don't give me no scoop dupe,
Speaker 1: give me a piet. If I order a beer, I
Speaker 1: demand that. I don't think so, honey, all of you,
Speaker 1: And that's one minute. Matt Rogers coming for glass sizes. Today.
Speaker 1: I had dinner with my parents and early dinner, and
Speaker 1: they told me I needed to order this beer. This
Speaker 1: palm ale. All that sounds lovely and I said, that's amazing.
Speaker 1: What is that? They said, it's a Belgian ail, It's amazing,
Speaker 1: and they give it to me and this fucking little
Speaker 1: little little tongue like a little tumbler, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what the hell? No, unacceptable. I don't like that. And
Speaker 1: especially especially during the Christmas season, honey, Well when you
Speaker 1: chas seas, No it's not. But guess what this is
Speaker 1: when you really need to look out for it, because
Speaker 1: that's when they get real crafty with the beers. And
Speaker 1: so you want a chocolate beer, you want a little
Speaker 1: bit of this, little bit of that. Guess what It's
Speaker 1: gonna come in a fucking thimble. So just make sure
Speaker 1: that you know what you're ordering and ask the server
Speaker 1: is this going to come in a regular ask glass?
Speaker 1: Or am I gonna get fucking two SIPs out of
Speaker 1: this thing? I don't think it's filled with a pine
Speaker 1: cone for the flavor. And I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 1: get out of get out of here. I would really
Speaker 1: get into it. I don't think the onus is on
Speaker 1: us as customers to ask to ask about the sizes.
Speaker 1: That's just me. It should be on them to choose
Speaker 1: the clost Yeah, I mean, just let me know if
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get like a little fucking cup a cup
Speaker 1: of beer? What is onus? Me? Like, like the responsibi.
Speaker 1: The responsibility isn't on you to be like I want
Speaker 1: this this thing and this thing and this thing. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. It just bothers me when I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm not getting what I paid for. Also,
Speaker 1: very commonly those beers are like twelve dollars each, the
Speaker 1: ones that the real craft ones over price. I'm looking
Speaker 1: at the straits. You know, when you order a craft
Speaker 1: beer at a bar, they're nodding, Um, okay, Patty, Okay,
Speaker 1: you're got ready for it. Might be it might be meeker.
Speaker 1: You make it your own. You make it your own. Okay.
Speaker 1: We've had people on here that have been really meek. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: whatever that means. Now, this is Patty Harrison's I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, time starts now, Okay. People who undershare,
Speaker 1: especially when you ask someone what their weekend was like
Speaker 1: and you come in, especially someone like me, I always
Speaker 1: lead strong, I lead vulnerable. I think the best way
Speaker 1: to have a good conversation is to really let yourself,
Speaker 1: be open and say some think gross. I usually lead
Speaker 1: with something about my bowl movements. If I come back
Speaker 1: from weekends, someone was like, how is your weekend? I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, it was crazy. I am not regular
Speaker 1: right now. I I like, I farted and ship came out,
Speaker 1: and that's you know, that's me being open with you.
Speaker 1: And then when I asked you back, you're just like, oh, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was fine. I went to a bar. And then
Speaker 1: you start to walk away with your tea and like no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: come back, come back to me. Or if I say
Speaker 1: something like oh yeah, I can't have h I can't
Speaker 1: do butt sex for a while now because I got
Speaker 1: a rip because someone put their wiener in you. And
Speaker 1: then and then you know I'm open with you, and
Speaker 1: then someone is like, oh, well this weekend I was
Speaker 1: going to seek it out, but I stayed in and
Speaker 1: I watched Stranger Things or some ship that is just
Speaker 1: rude to me, and I that's a full minute. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think so, honey, I don't feel
Speaker 1: like that. I don't feel like that. I didn't say
Speaker 1: a lot, excidy, you didn't waste the opportunity not like
Speaker 1: the because Patty, you know what you did, you got real,
Speaker 1: that really got vulnerable. You talked about your asshole. Rip.
Speaker 1: They're lating in the seat, in the seat that the
Speaker 1: seat right now. Look, I just want to say, Patty,
Speaker 1: I hope we did I hope we did not feel
Speaker 1: that test because before we started rolling, Patty, Patty and Patty,
Speaker 1: Matt and I were talking all about that stuff, that stuff,
Speaker 1: and I think I think we got right on the
Speaker 1: same page. We were. We were on the same page
Speaker 1: about that stuff. It is. It is an art, it's
Speaker 1: a craft. It's truly a craft. It's a it's it
Speaker 1: is a sport, I will say, because you have to
Speaker 1: exercise that muscle. Literally. I'm actually now just getting into,
Speaker 1: you know, penetrating myself. Great, see you guys. Um it's
Speaker 1: been an amazing episode. Um, right, is that all the
Speaker 1: time we have? That's all the time we have? So
Speaker 1: sadly nodded? Yes, Can we harmonize? When you dream? It
Speaker 1: can be amazzy when you dream. It can be so
Speaker 1: good when you dream. You can't flyve forver. When you dream,
Speaker 1: you dream with me for the longest time, right, WHOA
Speaker 1: for the longest time? Dream? I don't know the words,
Speaker 1: you guys, Patty Harrison the gig and you know what
Speaker 1: she is going to be at last Culture. It's just live.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's honey on Mary one Little Field.
Speaker 1: Come at eight pm, fifty community. It's gonna be unbelievable. Um,
Speaker 1: should just sort of guess a review on iTunes. You
Speaker 1: guys rate us for view us on iTunes. We'd love that.
Speaker 1: And look, we fucking love Patty. Fucking love Patty. Where
Speaker 1: can people find you on online? Uh? You know, seriously?
Speaker 1: Dot tv that's the website that I work for you.
Speaker 1: We're on YouTube, We're on Twitter, you know, Twitter and Instagram,
Speaker 1: Party Underscore Harderson. You'd imagine it's spelled I did not
Speaker 1: give that name to myself. It was right, of course,
Speaker 1: of course. Yeah, I'm just yeah, well yeah, we love you,
Speaker 1: We love you. We thank you, Forever Dog, thank you guys,
Speaker 1: and you guys for listening. And bowen. Here we go
Speaker 1: a bitch, all right, here we go, bitch, Matt Rogers. Bye.
Speaker 1: This has been a Forever Dog production, executive produced by
Speaker 1: Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsay, and Brett Bom. For more podcasts,
Speaker 1: please visit Forever Dog Productions dot com