WEBVTT - You’re Divorced, You Need $, and Now You’re Going Back To Work! 0:00:17.560 --> 0:00:21.720 Hey, I do part two. It's your host, Jenny Garth. Okay, 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:24.400 do you remember that show from a few years ago? 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:27.440 It was called Younger. Hillary Duff was in it and 0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:30.960 I just love her. Sutton Foster was in it as well, 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:35.120 and it's all about a divorced woman who put her 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:38.200 career on hold to raise her child and be a wife, 0:00:38.760 --> 0:00:42.479 and then in her forties, she found herself divorced and 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:47.159 having to enter back into the workforce, only no one 0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:51.159 would hire her because of her age. That story, I know, 0:00:51.680 --> 0:00:55.600 is so true to many people listening to this podcast. 0:00:56.080 --> 0:00:59.840 Working post divorce can be daunting, but it doesn't have 0:00:59.840 --> 0:01:03.880 to be. My guest today is depoly Vias, an executive 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:09.720 recruiter and career strategist known as the Elite Recruiter. She 0:01:09.880 --> 0:01:13.480 has spent more than twenty five years advising Fortune five 0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:18.279 hundred companies, hedge funds, private equity firms, and I cannot 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:22.000 wait to talk to her. Hello de Polly, Hi, nice 0:01:22.040 --> 0:01:25.399 to meet you. Nice to meet you as well. How 0:01:25.440 --> 0:01:26.120 are you today? 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:31.240 I'm good. I'm having a moment because it's just full 0:01:31.280 --> 0:01:34.800 circle and you know you're going to get this all 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:39.720 the time, I'm sure. But Kelly Martin or Kelly and 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:43.640 Donna Martin. I'm Kelly, and I just like, oh my god, 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:48.160 my sister and I would like die for each episode 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:50.600 when they came out. So it's really nice to meet you. 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:55.080 And yeah, I've been a fan and. 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:57.280 With all of your stuff beyond that, you well, I'm 0:01:57.320 --> 0:01:59.160 so excited to talk to you today because you used 0:01:59.160 --> 0:02:02.520 to have some very valuable information that we have got 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:05.840 to get out there. Okay, so let's say I'm a 0:02:05.880 --> 0:02:09.239 divorce woman listening to this podcast right now. I've been 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:12.560 married for the last eighteen years, and maybe I did 0:02:12.560 --> 0:02:15.440 a little part time work here and there, or I 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:18.639 put my career on hold to focus on my kids. 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:24.480 Now boom, I'm divorced, single and on a single income. 0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:28.880 Where do I start? First? Do I make a resume? 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:30.639 Do I go on LinkedIn? What do I do? 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:34.919 Yeah? So I would say the first things that I 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:37.960 would advise is sort of a what I call a 0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:42.959 five step reset. One. I would know your economics, right, 0:02:43.200 --> 0:02:45.919 what do you need to earn? And what are you worth? 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:49.560 You mentioned that you know you're working part time or 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:52.919 this person you know had experience, they took time off, 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:55.000 So what are your economics? What do you need to earn? 0:02:55.040 --> 0:02:57.040 And what are you worth? The second thing is you're 0:02:57.080 --> 0:03:00.760 right audit your career assets, right, skills do you have? 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:03.200 What accomplishments do you have and where do you need 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:06.440 to put them on a resume? And LinkedIn right, so 0:03:06.520 --> 0:03:10.840 what is your digital footprint out there? Both of them? 0:03:11.000 --> 0:03:14.559 Then I would say the third thing is define your constraints, 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:22.480 because you might have constraints on geography, flexibility, travel, benefits, schedule, 0:03:22.760 --> 0:03:24.400 all of those things are going to factor in if 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:26.360 your divorce plus. 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:27.880 Mom right right, right right? 0:03:27.960 --> 0:03:32.079 And then the fourth and fifth thing. Fourth is rebuild 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:34.720 your narrative. Right, you don't have to tell the market 0:03:35.080 --> 0:03:38.760 what happened to you. You need to tell it exactly right. 0:03:38.800 --> 0:03:42.440 You need to tell it what you're capable of next, yes, 0:03:42.960 --> 0:03:48.880 right and fact. The fifth is creating optionality right, building 0:03:49.080 --> 0:03:54.000 relationships and potential income streams before you desperately need. 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:59.600 Them, right, okay, getting ahead of it exactly optionality. Yeah, 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:04.120 that leverage, That is leverage because then you it's not 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:05.880 all your eggs aren't in one basket. 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:09.440 Well like, look take you for example, right, you've actually 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:12.920 lived something I talk about all the time. Your identity 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:16.920 didn't stop at one version of your career or one 0:04:17.040 --> 0:04:25.160 chapter of your personal life. Right right? Actress, mother, author, entrepreneur, podcaster. 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:29.920 You continued adding lanes, and that's what I mean about optionality. 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:32.440 So get multi hyphen it. 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:36.279 Multi hyphen it is that, especially because I think what 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:40.560 women forget sometimes is that they have this experience and 0:04:40.640 --> 0:04:43.560 then they kind of just push it down, you know, 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:44.159 when they. 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:47.640 Go like downplay it or right, totally a big deal. 0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:50.239 I was, you know, just ran the whatever at the bank. 0:04:50.680 --> 0:04:54.360 But yeah, list all your accomplishments, like a. 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:57.400 Bad ass before. I was a badass mom, and now 0:04:57.400 --> 0:04:58.320 I'm coming back. 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:02.080 Get ready for me. I love that. Wait, what are 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:06.640 your top three things that every woman should be prepared 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:08.719 for when she is going into that drop interview? 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:12.919 Yeah, I would say know your narrative and like really 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:14.760 get in front of it. I think where people make 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:18.440 a lot of mistakes are so you may have this 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:21.280 anxiety about, oh my god, I have this huge gap 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:23.400 on my resume, I've been out of the market, whatever. 0:05:24.080 --> 0:05:26.800 When you're in front of an interviewer, the last thing 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:29.920 you want to do is have them address it before 0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:32.520 you can tell your story. Right. So, if I'm sitting 0:05:32.560 --> 0:05:33.880 in front of you. I'm like, oh, Kelly, you know 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:36.080 you had a five year gap. Can you tell me 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:39.440 about it? You know what Kelly's thinking. I keep saying, Kelly, 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:41.440 Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I don't know why 0:05:41.480 --> 0:05:42.760 I keep saying that. I'm so sorry. 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:46.800 Okay, generic Kelly Kelly, So everybody Kelly named Kelly. 0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:50.599 Yes, they are thinking. They just asked me this question, 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:52.880 and now I have to dig myself out of this 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:55.440 hole and get to neutral just to feel like I'm 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:59.039 on an even playing field. So what I tell my 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:02.839 clients is get in front of that story. As soon 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:05.080 as you sit down, and the first question is naturally 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:08.160 going to be tell me about yourself. You address that 0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:11.200 before they even get there. He tell me, tell you 0:06:11.720 --> 0:06:15.080 I have been you know, uh, previously I was the 0:06:15.200 --> 0:06:18.839 VP of MX and Strategic Partnerships. I took some time 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:22.359 to do family planning. But these are the skills that 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:25.160 I've kept, you know, up to snuff with, and I've 0:06:25.279 --> 0:06:28.640 learned all about AI. And this is why this role 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:31.840 is great for me at this time. Now, since you've 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:35.920 already addressed the elephant in the room, like they can't say, well, wait, 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:38.440 why did you take five years off? I already got 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:40.279 ahead of it. I already told you I took time 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:41.200 for family planning. 0:06:41.320 --> 0:06:42.400 Mm hmmmm hmmm. 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:46.120 That's so smart. Okay, so that's like number one, right, 0:06:47.080 --> 0:06:48.840 what's the what's a couple of other ones? 0:06:49.040 --> 0:06:52.760 So the second thing I would say is have stories ready, 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:55.760 Like what are your I'm going to call them the 0:06:55.800 --> 0:07:00.640 star stories, right, So what challenging situations have you been in? 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:04.000 What tasks did you do, what action did you take, 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:07.520 and what was the result. That's star and you should 0:07:07.520 --> 0:07:09.720 have three or four of those. And whether or not 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:11.840 you've been in and out of the market, you can 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:15.000 go back into your stories and say, this is how 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:17.960 I dealt with conflict. Then I know times have changed, 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:21.680 Here's how my you know, here's how I've matured over 0:07:21.720 --> 0:07:23.720 this amount of time, and this is how I would 0:07:23.760 --> 0:07:26.600 approach it now. Logical thinking. Right, So even if you 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:29.720 have sort of quote unquote outdated experience, doesn't mean that 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:31.960 you haven't been living life and interacting with people. 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:32.160 Right. 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:35.160 You could have been you know, heading up the PTA, 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:37.760 or you could have been on a nonprofit or whatever 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:40.920 you were doing in between that time, keeping yourself busy, 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:44.040 and so you can interject those things. But you should 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:46.640 have a bag of stories so you don't feel like 0:07:46.680 --> 0:07:50.440 you're reaching or you or someone just kind of stops 0:07:50.480 --> 0:07:52.280 you in your tracks and you have nothing to say. 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:54.680 What if you? What if you? Or your story is 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:56.840 that I have taken I have just taken time off 0:07:56.880 --> 0:07:59.320 to be a mom and raise my kids. 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:01.880 And that's fine, and say, the lessons that I've learned 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:06.120 as a mother has been, patients has been you know, 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:13.000 so you you completely narrate what you've built with experience 0:08:13.080 --> 0:08:16.120 in whatever you were doing. So that's what I would. 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:18.120 Say, yes, even as a mom, like, look at all 0:08:18.120 --> 0:08:20.520 the things if you sat and wrote them down and 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:21.400 thought it through. 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:24.960 You're you're like the CFO of the house. You are 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:27.840 the chief Procurement Officer of the house. Right, you're the 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:31.000 chief operations officer of the house. Like, those are. 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:32.920 All little skills, they truly are. 0:08:33.240 --> 0:08:36.920 Right. You can multitask, right, you can delegate you like, 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:39.880 you can operate, you know, in a in a high 0:08:39.920 --> 0:08:43.720 functioning way with multiple tasks, which, by the way, isn't 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:44.200 that a job? 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:47.640 Yeah? It is, right, hardest job ever. 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:50.720 Yeah. And the third thing I would say is that 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:56.040 I would I would be really really in front of 0:08:56.360 --> 0:09:00.200 like your sort of brand like spoon feeding them what 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:02.560 you want them to know about you, right, Like, this 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:05.920 is what I'm really good at. Because the thing about interviewers, 0:09:06.040 --> 0:09:09.400 right this, this sort of state secret, is that that 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:12.480 interviewer in front of you just wants to get some 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:16.199 of those headlines and pass them over to the next interviewer. 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:19.960 So as long as your story stays consistent, they kind 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:22.560 of give them the highlight reel of your experience, so 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:24.200 you move on to the next interview. 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:27.880 M oh Keauz. They're a rounds. 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:33.800 Oh yeah, sometimes, oh there are rounds like, yeah, what 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:37.000 do you say, what do you see as the biggest 0:09:37.040 --> 0:09:39.840 mistake women are making out there when they're searching for 0:09:39.920 --> 0:09:41.720 a job post divorce? 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:44.960 Yeah, I think, you know, a couple of things are 0:09:45.840 --> 0:09:48.560 especially when you're in this sort of like fragile moment 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:52.400 of you've now gone through something so personal and you 0:09:52.440 --> 0:09:57.600 start bleeding your identity and your narrative between personal and professional. 0:09:58.040 --> 0:10:01.280 It really does come through. And you know, I think 0:10:01.559 --> 0:10:04.520 it is hard, and I don't you know, take it lightly. 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:07.559 Where you're going through something emotional, it's obviously going to 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:10.920 seep into like your energy and all of that. But 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:15.000 if there's any like way. For that half an hour 0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:19.280 or forty five minutes that you can completely compartmentalize your 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:23.320 personal from your professional, it will be a very good thing. 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:25.280 And all you have to tell yourself is, like, listen, 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:27.960 it's forty five minutes that I do not have to 0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:31.760 think about that, Right. And then it depends on like 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:34.040 who you're in front of. Right, if you're in a 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:38.040 creative profession, and if that is something that is kind 0:10:38.080 --> 0:10:41.960 of fueling you or driving you, you can certainly talk 0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:45.040 about it. But if you're going into a banking environment, right, 0:10:45.200 --> 0:10:48.240 or private equity or whatever it is, and you know 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:52.200 they're buttoned up, you probably don't want to lead with 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:55.079 that or have that seek through in your conversations. 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:58.040 You don't want to give them like your mom stories. 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:01.400 Only after they've fall in love with you. 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:04.679 Yeah, you gotta wait, so true? 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:05.439 What? 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:08.480 Okay? So I know looking for a job can be 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:11.400 really overwhelming. I see how hard it is for my friends, 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:13.280 and I even see how hard it is for my 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:19.320 young adult daughters as a single mom. What things should 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:23.000 you be mindful of when you're looking and what should 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:26.280 be things that you should be a little more flexible 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:27.400 on during your search? 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.280 Yeah, you know, I think the biggest thing is sort 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:34.760 of a mindset. I would say you have to think 0:11:34.800 --> 0:11:37.680 about it as if you are not starting over, you're 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.880 starting with receipts. So whether you're forty five or fifty 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:43.920 or fifty five, right, you have receipts. And that what 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:46.320 I mean by that is you have judgment, you have 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:50.360 pattern recognition, you have relationships, you have scar tissue, you 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:52.400 know what you're good at, you know what you're terrible 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:54.480 at too, by the way, yes, and so I think 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:59.280 you you what you should start by is what environments 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:02.760 bring out your best work? Right? And that and that 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:06.640 means like what can I still do? And then it's 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:09.600 also what do I want to do with everything that 0:12:09.640 --> 0:12:12.560 I know now? Right? And sometimes it could be you know, 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:15.400 I actually tell this and and you know, yes this 0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:18.599 this is great for your audience in that segment, But 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:20.880 if you actually think about the analogy of like what 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:23.360 do you tell your kids? Right? I have a son 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:27.959 and you know, look, coming from an Indian background, it's 0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:31.240 always about like math and science. My son is not 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:34.319 a math and science guy, right, and so like for 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:36.960 me to push that and his father to push that, 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:40.400 it's like I don't I don't want him resenting us 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:41.200 for it, right. 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:41.480 Right, Right? 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:45.560 And so I tell you know a lot of parents 0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:50.239 of kids like tell them to lean into their strengths. 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:54.560 That same advice goes for women. What are your strengths? Like, 0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:57.520 don't force yourself into I'm going to take this project 0:12:57.520 --> 0:13:00.640 management job when you're not really till oriented. 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:02.199 That's not for you. 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:05.000 Then you know, like you need to go somewhere where 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:08.959 there's more vision or there's more you know, unstructure or 0:13:08.960 --> 0:13:11.040 whatever it is, right Like, you get to think on 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:12.959 your feet and you get to do all of these things, 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.160 and it's a little bit more in that vein. So 0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:17.720 that's what I say about, you know, what can you 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:19.560 do and what are you really good at? And lean 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:19.920 into that? 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:23.080 Yeah, for sure, because this is you're making a big 0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:26.080 decision as you move into this next huge phase of 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:26.520 your life. 0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:30.360 Yeah. And I think it's also scarcity thinking, right, Like, Yeah, 0:13:30.640 --> 0:13:32.640 a lot of people are just kind of like, man, 0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:34.360 I just need someone to give me a chance, right, 0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:38.520 And that scarcity changes your behavior, right like you apply 0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:42.600 to everything, you accept less money, you overlook red flags, 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:47.000 you don't negotiate, you tolerate bad managers, right like you 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:50.319 take the first offer, right, And we've learned that in 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:53.280 business and in real estate and all these things. Never 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:56.360 take the first offer, right, Like you have to negotiate, 0:13:56.400 --> 0:14:00.160 and so like, don't sell yourself short just because you've 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:02.880 had this life event and that you think that you 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:04.320 don't have enough to offer. 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:11.160 Don't sell yourself short. It take some time, right, sit 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:14.600 down with yourself and a notepad and a pen, and 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:18.240 like talk yourself up to yourself, like make a list 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:20.760 of all of your accomplishments so far, Like yep, all 0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:22.920 the things that you've done. I mean, when you really 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:24.920 do that and you go back and you look at 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:27.040 that list, you'll probably be impressed. 0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:30.040 Yeah, absolutely, And I think that you know what, it's 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:32.880 also give yourself permission to reinvent. 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:35.520 Oh right, yes, right? 0:14:35.800 --> 0:14:36.320 Why not? 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:37.440 Yeah? 0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:41.479 Yeah? You know, sometimes a marriage isn't the only identity 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:46.440 someone has outgrown, right, Maybe it's you know, you became 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:50.200 the flexible parent or the person who didn't travel or whatever. 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:53.840 And you might say, like, you know, I don't actually 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:57.920 have to keep making the same professional choices, right, Sometimes 0:14:58.240 --> 0:15:02.440 you maybe were just optimized seeing your career for things 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:05.640 that don't exist anymore, Like and I know it's terrifying, 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:09.440 but like, hey, you know, if if you know Walmart 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:12.000 was founded by a forty four year old, why not you? 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:15.720 Why not you? You know, there's so many inspirational stories 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.280 like that, Like I think women should just seek those 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:20.480 out too, like pump it up, pump us up, pump 0:15:20.520 --> 0:15:23.720 yourself and then just dream. 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:27.560 I would also join, like, you know, professional communities because 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:32.600 like women do love helping other women absolutely, you know, 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:36.400 And like I'm having a I'm part of this change 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:39.960 the Board Game initiative and we are bringing in women 0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:42.800 that are that want to be aspiring board members with 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.400 current board members and it's like if you don't know 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:48.040 what it's like, like you need to be in the room. 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:50.520 You need to Yes, you need to be asking the 0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:53.960 questions and curious and having people around you that are 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:54.680 smarter than you. 0:15:55.240 --> 0:15:59.280 Yeah, that is honestly, Jenny. That is like number one. 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:02.080 If I if I gave any advice to your audience, 0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:05.840 I would say, Okay, you shed this thing with whatever 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:11.800 was happening with your divorce, look around your neighborhood, your associations, whatever, 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:15.880 and level it up because proximity brings opportunity. 0:16:16.560 --> 0:16:21.560 I love that proximity proximity brings opportunity. You guys, did 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:25.440 you hear that little nugget? Okay, what about a resume? 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:29.000 Which should people hire a resume writer? Is that even 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:31.120 a good investment or should they just be using AI? 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:33.920 So I'm gonna say, I'm going to give you that 0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:37.120 answer in two parts. Okay, I think AI is amazing. 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:40.640 I use every AI tool on the planet. So your 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:44.720 first draft thinking, you should definitely put into AI and say, hey, 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:47.720 this is all my stuff, you know, put something together 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:50.560 for me. Again, it's your first draft. It may not 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:54.520 capture the essence there are. And then the second part 0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:58.200 of that is if you were just not used to, 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:01.960 you know, putting together a docum that is going to 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:04.720 pass the ATS or it's going to pass a recruiter 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:09.399 or the hiring manager test, then investing in someone that 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:12.480 can write your resume really well will serve you well. 0:17:12.520 --> 0:17:15.080 Because the modern resume right now, and look, I've read 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:17.439 a million resumes right in my recruiter role. I know 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:19.800 exactly how I read them. Up top. I read it 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:22.359 like an f like up top and then down, and 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:24.080 then I might go back up and read your first 0:17:24.119 --> 0:17:26.320 lines of experience. Right, That's how I read it and 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:28.359 now if you didn't know that, you wouldn't know how 0:17:28.359 --> 0:17:30.320 to write it right, And a lot of people end 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:32.919 up putting their whole life story on there. There's a 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:36.440 lot of word salad. I'm trying to parse through the noise. 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:38.600 And the one thing that I will say is that 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:43.280 oftentimes you have to think about it like this. If 0:17:43.320 --> 0:17:47.040 you are not clear about your experience, right, you are 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:50.840 now putting the burden on someone like me that is 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:54.800 reading your resume and trying to figure you out. But 0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:58.520 guess what I have, Jenny, I have a day job, right, 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:02.400 and so it takes time for me to figure you out. 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:05.560 So if you don't have clarity and that document is 0:18:05.600 --> 0:18:09.359 not clear, then it you know, you stop short of 0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:10.240 what you really can. 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:13.159 Be right, and too many words is just too many words? 0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:16.879 Sometimes word salad sandwich is like to resume? 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:19.920 Do you think that is? Do you think AI is 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:22.760 doing the first scan of most resumes that are submitted now? 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:27.679 They it is, so a lot of companies use AI 0:18:27.880 --> 0:18:31.960 scanners to just pick up some of the keywords. So, yes, 0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:34.359 that is happening. It does reach a human. So I 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:36.640 don't want to have a you know, misconception out there 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:39.159 it does reach a human. I think some of the 0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:42.240 larger tech companies rely a little bit more on AI 0:18:42.440 --> 0:18:45.919 just because they're getting an insane amount of applicants. But 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:49.480 I would say, you know, for the you know, look 0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:52.080 for the hidden jebs, look for the mid sized companies 0:18:52.160 --> 0:18:54.119 or the smaller companies that are going to take a 0:18:54.119 --> 0:18:57.280 look at you because they're going to need someone like 0:18:57.480 --> 0:19:01.119 you know. I'll give you a perfect example. There is 0:19:01.320 --> 0:19:05.080 a company here in Long Island and the guy was like, 0:19:05.240 --> 0:19:09.240 I actually just like hiring moms. And you know the 0:19:09.320 --> 0:19:13.159 reason for that is because they multitask, and they know 0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:15.080 that they have to drop their kids off in the 0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:17.200 morning and they have to go pick their kids back up, 0:19:17.280 --> 0:19:20.800 so that nine to two time slot is like optimal 0:19:21.280 --> 0:19:23.600 work zone for them, and they have to get it done. 0:19:23.800 --> 0:19:26.240 They don't have a choice. And he's like, that's why 0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:29.639 I hire them, right, And he's like, my entire workforce 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:33.480 are moms and we get everything done. So my point 0:19:33.560 --> 0:19:36.520 is like, there are employers like that out there that 0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:41.439 actually prefer that skill set, like prefer that that type 0:19:41.480 --> 0:19:42.080 of person. 0:19:42.320 --> 0:19:44.280 You never know because you kind of think, oh, they're 0:19:44.320 --> 0:19:45.960 not going to want to hire me, or because I'm 0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:49.000 a mom, or because I'm this age, maybe that's exactly 0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:50.840 what they're looking for exactly. 0:19:51.040 --> 0:19:53.000 So but you have to ask, and you have to 0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:55.679 you know, honestly, Like I will say, you know, finding 0:19:55.680 --> 0:19:57.600 a job is a full time job. It takes a 0:19:57.640 --> 0:20:00.120 lot of work. It's going to be a lot of calls, 0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:01.760 going to be a lot of networking, it's going to 0:20:01.760 --> 0:20:04.520 be a lot of you know, resume sends, and it's 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:06.560 a volume game and you and the one thing is 0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:08.879 you can't take it personally. And the reason why I 0:20:08.920 --> 0:20:12.919 say that is because after this type of event, you 0:20:13.000 --> 0:20:16.320 have fragility in your ego, you have fragility in your 0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:19.080 emotions and all of that. So I am really conscious 0:20:19.119 --> 0:20:22.680 of that. And the last thing you want is another rejection, 0:20:23.280 --> 0:20:27.080 right yeah, And so I will say that treat your 0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:31.400 job like a business and that it's just a numbers game. 0:20:32.280 --> 0:20:35.560 And then until you find the right sort of you know, 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:40.120 chemistry and and you know job that's right for you 0:20:40.200 --> 0:20:43.200 and the culture that fits you, you can then kind 0:20:43.200 --> 0:20:45.560 of invest your whole heart in it. But like, don't 0:20:45.560 --> 0:20:47.080 worry about the rejections. 0:20:46.600 --> 0:20:50.320 Honestly, m yeah, you know, those just aren't meant to 0:20:50.359 --> 0:20:54.520 be yeah, and you're absolutely better off for it. 0:20:54.840 --> 0:20:55.119 Yeah. 0:20:55.280 --> 0:20:56.600 I feel like every time. 0:20:56.880 --> 0:21:00.240 Yeah, it's a sign I'm. 0:21:00.080 --> 0:21:02.719 Don't believe that this is okay. Do you think that 0:21:02.800 --> 0:21:07.760 women out there re entering the workforce are experiencing agism? 0:21:09.119 --> 0:21:12.359 Yes? Yes, I talk about this all the time in 0:21:14.040 --> 0:21:18.240 my content, and I think that you know, it's there's 0:21:18.280 --> 0:21:23.840 something about I'll say this agism is real, and I 0:21:23.880 --> 0:21:27.400 don't want to give women like a motivational answer that 0:21:27.440 --> 0:21:31.000 pretends that it doesn't exist. And I've been in recruiting 0:21:31.040 --> 0:21:35.280 for twenty five years. You don't combat agism by trying 0:21:35.320 --> 0:21:39.520 to convince somebody you're younger, right, You combat it by 0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:45.520