1
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,560
Speaker 1: Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devoured and we're the Ellises.

2
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:17,480
Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our

3
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:22,439
Speaker 1: boys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,

4
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:26,000
Speaker 1: I'll make you need therby most days. Wow. Oh, and

5
00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:28,400
Speaker 1: one more important thing to mention. We're married, Yes, sir,

6
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:31,960
Speaker 1: we are. We created this podcast to open dialogue about

7
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,720
Speaker 1: some of life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't

8
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,559
Speaker 1: want to talk about through the lens of a millennial

9
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,840
Speaker 1: married couple. Dead ass is a term that we say

10
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,280
Speaker 1: every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually

11
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:46,640
Speaker 1: saying facts one hundred the truth, the whole truth, and

12
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,240
Speaker 1: nothing but the truth. Were about to take Philows off

13
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:54,600
Speaker 1: to a whole new level. Dead ass starts right now.

14
00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:03,160
Speaker 1: The music, the music, right now, Cut it, dud, These

15
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:12,120
Speaker 1: beautiful faces up here tonight. Stop. What's up before we

16
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:17,040
Speaker 1: get started? Okay, what we got? We got some news

17
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:23,120
Speaker 1: for y'all. No, she is not pregnant. Man, y'all be

18
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:26,480
Speaker 1: one people to have babies. Listen. We done. We don't

19
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,440
Speaker 1: have no more kids. But I will say this, who

20
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:35,640
Speaker 1: loves the Ellis's who bought that copy of We Over Me?

21
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:41,280
Speaker 1: We over me. WHOA From now on, From now on,

22
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,319
Speaker 1: when you talk about the Ellis's, make sure you introduce

23
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:49,920
Speaker 1: us as New York Times best selling offers the Ellis's. Yes,

24
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,960
Speaker 1: we just don go twenty minutes ago that we made

25
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:59,440
Speaker 1: the list time. No listen, y'all, y'all have no idea,

26
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,960
Speaker 1: Like I almost didn't even know how to come out here.

27
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:06,600
Speaker 1: We got this news before we left the hotel, and

28
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:12,320
Speaker 1: we were literally shaking, crying, rying, laughing, I mean screaming.

29
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:19,240
Speaker 1: I was that big screaming. That was literally the val

30
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,600
Speaker 1: It was literally it was knocking on the door. So

31
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,320
Speaker 1: you got to calm down, shut up. I am a

32
00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:27,520
Speaker 1: New York Times best selling author. I can scream in

33
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:33,600
Speaker 1: your hotel part that part. But no, seriously, we want

34
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,280
Speaker 1: to thank every last one of you because if it

35
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,639
Speaker 1: wasn't for you who shared our content from the very beginning,

36
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:43,359
Speaker 1: from the beginning, Light commented, tell a friend to tell

37
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,440
Speaker 1: a friend, if it wasn't for you. So this is

38
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,840
Speaker 1: not just our victory, it's your victory. Gave you yourself.

39
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:52,360
Speaker 1: Surround of applause. We love y'all, We appreciate you so much.

40
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,120
Speaker 1: Thank you. So have a seen maybe have a seat,

41
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,400
Speaker 1: have a sea ahead. But let me. We'll get my

42
00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,200
Speaker 1: cards first, because you know, dev I don't know how

43
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,880
Speaker 1: the show goes. I have to hold it down real quick.

44
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:05,760
Speaker 1: Are you value want your cards? You give me my car?

45
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,440
Speaker 1: Trivile takes time to put these together, so we know

46
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,440
Speaker 1: what's happening with the show. So who's ever been to

47
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:16,160
Speaker 1: a dead ass live show? Anybody here ever been before?

48
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:20,680
Speaker 1: You've been here before, Atlana, So you know first man,

49
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:24,600
Speaker 1: I don't be using these cards. I just say whatever

50
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:27,600
Speaker 1: I want to say. Gave me having the car. Know

51
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,400
Speaker 1: what's going on, y'all, it's been quite the day. I

52
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,919
Speaker 1: have to say yes. But I'm gonna start with story

53
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,400
Speaker 1: time now for time, I had a whole another story

54
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:40,360
Speaker 1: to tell, but I'm not telling that story. So you're

55
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,920
Speaker 1: just gonna change the show up. I'm changing the show up,

56
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,080
Speaker 1: all right. Y'all want to hear the story I have before?

57
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,240
Speaker 1: You want to hear the old story? All right, real quick,

58
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell that the old story. So here's the

59
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:54,200
Speaker 1: crazy part. Me and cadem was arguing before we found

60
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:58,000
Speaker 1: out that we was New York Times bestsellers. Swear on everything.

61
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,240
Speaker 1: I'm in the room, we stay and I can't tell

62
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:06,200
Speaker 1: y'all what we're staying. We're staying at a very nice hotel.

63
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,640
Speaker 1: And I'm out there in the living room, mine in

64
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,080
Speaker 1: my business because she got her whole blam team in there.

65
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,800
Speaker 1: I'm trying to find my little corner because you know, gentlemen,

66
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:19,800
Speaker 1: we don't get no space, right. I hear baby baby,

67
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:24,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, can you come real quick? So while

68
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,480
Speaker 1: run in the bathroom, I'm thinking something's wrong. I run

69
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:32,040
Speaker 1: in the bathroom. Sweep, boom, bust my ass. My whole y'all,

70
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,920
Speaker 1: I'm light skinned, this whole side of my ass, and

71
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,839
Speaker 1: ship is black and blue. I fell on the marble. Ye,

72
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,880
Speaker 1: we're coming up, y'all. Our bathroom in the hotel got

73
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,080
Speaker 1: marble floors. I just I said, got shit tripped me out.

74
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:46,680
Speaker 1: Shit tripped me out. I was like, oh, I don't

75
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,039
Speaker 1: play for all of this ship. And it was like

76
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,400
Speaker 1: you all right, Well, it's a far cry from the

77
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:55,560
Speaker 1: ram In. Remember Virginia, I used to take cut That's

78
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,839
Speaker 1: another story I used to take on vacations in college.

79
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:01,159
Speaker 1: We stayed at the Ramata, right, but there was no

80
00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:04,360
Speaker 1: a da at the end of the lights was out,

81
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,440
Speaker 1: so it just said ram In and she looked right

82
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,400
Speaker 1: at me, and I was like, it's fitting, ain't it.

83
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,200
Speaker 1: That's all he was doing on that trip. Anyway, we

84
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,520
Speaker 1: was in college. That's what you do when you go

85
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:20,279
Speaker 1: away on college. So I fall right, boom, busting my ship. Right.

86
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,480
Speaker 1: First thing I do when I fall, I go damn.

87
00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,880
Speaker 1: She looked at me. I'm waiting for sympathy for my wife, right,

88
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:34,359
Speaker 1: she donna go damn. I said, what happened? She was like,

89
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:39,440
Speaker 1: you ain't see the water? I said, tom Mount, tom Mount,

90
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:44,520
Speaker 1: First of all, I deserve an apology. She goes for

91
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:48,440
Speaker 1: what you called me in here? You couldn't tell me

92
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:52,040
Speaker 1: the floor was wet. No, lie, gentlemen, we know how

93
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:57,560
Speaker 1: we talked about accountability. No accountability. Her words were, you

94
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:03,760
Speaker 1: didn't hear the shower running? No, no, MoMA wasn't. She goes,

95
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:08,840
Speaker 1: you didn't hear the water running? I say, because I'm

96
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:13,279
Speaker 1: on the ground still, I go, I did hear the

97
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:16,080
Speaker 1: water running, right, but I thought it was a shower.

98
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:20,880
Speaker 1: She goes, that sounds like a you problem. I said,

99
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,040
Speaker 1: how did the water get on the floor? She says,

100
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,599
Speaker 1: you see me in a bathtub trying to get the

101
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,200
Speaker 1: conditioner out. My heir That's why I called you, because

102
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,960
Speaker 1: I was missing and it was getting on the floor.

103
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:36,360
Speaker 1: So I said, why couldn't you say, hey, babe, I

104
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:40,880
Speaker 1: need help, be careful, the floor is wet. That's too

105
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:44,560
Speaker 1: many words, That's what she said to me. That's too

106
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:48,560
Speaker 1: many words. I'm not talking to the kids. That's a lot.

107
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,600
Speaker 1: That's a lot. I'm under the stress. I'm trying to

108
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:55,919
Speaker 1: wash my hair out. The girl ready to start makeup. Like,

109
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,520
Speaker 1: come on, bro, gentlemen, does that sound like a lot

110
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:03,960
Speaker 1: of words? No? No, right, So now I get up.

111
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,040
Speaker 1: I'm bit. We're split. I'm like, you couldn't say that.

112
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:13,160
Speaker 1: She then says to me, when you heard the water running,

113
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,560
Speaker 1: you couldn't tell a difference between the shower running and

114
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:20,480
Speaker 1: the tub running. I said him, I'm supposed to know

115
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:24,320
Speaker 1: the difference, the difference in the acoustics of the water

116
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:29,520
Speaker 1: coming from the shower, I said, even if I didn't know, right,

117
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:33,120
Speaker 1: Even if I didn't know right, you expect me to

118
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:38,560
Speaker 1: before I go into bathroom, go wait a minute. The

119
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:42,160
Speaker 1: water is running. There may be a chance that my

120
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,840
Speaker 1: wife may be ginning the conditioning rider here and spring

121
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,679
Speaker 1: the water all over the floor. Let me calm down

122
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:52,880
Speaker 1: and going slowly. She goes, yes, yes, do you know

123
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:57,520
Speaker 1: who you married? Bro? So then I go, so, you're

124
00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:03,240
Speaker 1: really not gonna apologize? She lows no. I say, fuck

125
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:07,360
Speaker 1: you're here, then walk like the bathroom. And the reason

126
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,320
Speaker 1: why I'm telling you this story is because yes, we

127
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:15,560
Speaker 1: wrote a New York Times best selling book, but niggas

128
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:20,760
Speaker 1: still be arguing in here, still be arguing, y'all. So outside,

129
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:25,960
Speaker 1: I sit on the bed. Right, This is how Codeine apologizes.

130
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,760
Speaker 1: After my legs are bruised up. She comes in the room.

131
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:35,120
Speaker 1: She sits on my lap. She sits on my lap,

132
00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:40,560
Speaker 1: and she starts rubbing the inside of my thigh, and

133
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:47,520
Speaker 1: I go, that's not what hurts. She says, I know,

134
00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:53,920
Speaker 1: how am I supposed to stay mad at that? You can't?

135
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:58,079
Speaker 1: And I didn't, And then all I do I just

136
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,440
Speaker 1: I suck it up. At that point pause, she ended

137
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:08,200
Speaker 1: up sucking it up. But I don't love it. Pee

138
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,559
Speaker 1: out here telling my business and these he was the streets,

139
00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:15,160
Speaker 1: and now I don't appreciate you, okay, but he's right, though,

140
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:18,840
Speaker 1: he's right. So guys, wasn't it worth it? Okay? Y'all

141
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,760
Speaker 1: wanted to be like, yeah the bah, yeah yeah, She

142
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,280
Speaker 1: didn't hunt. It was worth it. You are right now.

143
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:27,960
Speaker 1: We'll see tomorrow my my hit fucked up? Y'all know

144
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,920
Speaker 1: how typically I'll be running out. I'll be like, yeah

145
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:32,920
Speaker 1: that nope. I wanted to take that big stuff out

146
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,120
Speaker 1: that door, and my hip said no, sir, let me

147
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,920
Speaker 1: walk my black eyes up this stage because if I'm

148
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,839
Speaker 1: falling on the other side, it's a rap. At our

149
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,920
Speaker 1: big age, we can't be falling. Nohow right, I'm twenty five.

150
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:48,720
Speaker 1: Good job, I'm still a small age, all right, y'all.

151
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:54,720
Speaker 1: So who listens to the actual dead Ass podcast? Yeah?

152
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,400
Speaker 1: I love that. Anybody have a favorite episode so far?

153
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,520
Speaker 1: You can be this season or another season. What's your favorite?

154
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,800
Speaker 1: So that's a lot of classes. That was a couple

155
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:19,320
Speaker 1: of season identity. Anybody else got a favorite episode? And

156
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:31,920
Speaker 1: having more kids? Well right, definitely one. So I'll fix this.

157
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,559
Speaker 1: The mic in the back hair, now, y'all watch it.

158
00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:37,640
Speaker 1: Make sure you don't violate him in front of y'all.

159
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,400
Speaker 1: All right, we're all for good TV, but we don't

160
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,000
Speaker 1: want to make it that good. Then I have to

161
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,160
Speaker 1: start only fans and then what who's signing up for that?

162
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:50,520
Speaker 1: All right? Oh? We got hands people people. There were

163
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,120
Speaker 1: there were some hands when I mentioned it only fans.

164
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:58,680
Speaker 1: What do you think about that? Ellis h huh, it'll

165
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:04,000
Speaker 1: it'll be a New York Times for real. So if

166
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,840
Speaker 1: you know anything about our shows, we like to get

167
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,560
Speaker 1: our audience involved. We like y'all to participate. It gets

168
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,960
Speaker 1: a little interactive, a little improv That's what happens when

169
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,400
Speaker 1: you end up with two actors on stage. Right. So

170
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,880
Speaker 1: this time around. In the past we've done kind of

171
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:20,960
Speaker 1: like the newly wet game with couples and stuff. So

172
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,000
Speaker 1: this leg of the tour, first time out here in Texas,

173
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:28,000
Speaker 1: we figured me wanted to try. Uh so you want

174
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,360
Speaker 1: to be on dead ass because according to Trible, we

175
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,319
Speaker 1: have a lot of people that write into us and say, hey,

176
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,959
Speaker 1: how do I get on the podcast? I got stuff

177
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,560
Speaker 1: to talk about, this stuff that I want to say, right,

178
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:48,120
Speaker 1: so this is the perfect opportunity to vet someone trying hardest.

179
00:11:48,120 --> 00:12:01,360
Speaker 1: You know, don't go on all They called it back

180
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:08,800
Speaker 1: to business. Anybody who wanted it back to business? Wings, Yeah,

181
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:13,319
Speaker 1: one of those fried pickles or something fried pickles or

182
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:17,360
Speaker 1: they got a whole face back out here. Yes, I

183
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,600
Speaker 1: see baby, go ahead, I love that. You see why

184
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,120
Speaker 1: I have to keep them on pace. Right. Oh yeah,

185
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,960
Speaker 1: let me get must So we're doing a round of

186
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,839
Speaker 1: so you want to be on dead ass this table

187
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:31,520
Speaker 1: right here? Don't be quiet. This case is this table

188
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,600
Speaker 1: right here? Y'all got y'all first warning? Yes, I got

189
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:40,640
Speaker 1: my papers, I looked, I look professional, guys. So we're

190
00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:45,080
Speaker 1: gonna play a game of elimination, right. Each person that

191
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,439
Speaker 1: we call on stage will participate in a series of

192
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:52,720
Speaker 1: different timed challenges, and one of them will be eliminated

193
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,880
Speaker 1: each round. The last person left will be the winner.

194
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:59,680
Speaker 1: And tonight's guests can do this no more, no pressure.

195
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,920
Speaker 1: Leg hurt. My leg hurt. So I'm gonna you're right, no,

196
00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:08,400
Speaker 1: my leg hurts. Since you're asking, I'm asking now, right,

197
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,520
Speaker 1: So we're gonna start. I'm gonna introduce. What I'll do

198
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,880
Speaker 1: is I'll read the bio that the person submitted, and

199
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,640
Speaker 1: then if you know who you are because you wrote

200
00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:18,439
Speaker 1: it in and I hope that you know who you are,

201
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,080
Speaker 1: you can stand up and make your way to the front.

202
00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:27,959
Speaker 1: Sounds good, sounds good? All right? So this first contestant

203
00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:32,000
Speaker 1: is a married mother of two. Her firstborn is now

204
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:36,400
Speaker 1: an angel. Sorry to hear that rest in peace to

205
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:41,240
Speaker 1: your baby, having lost their battle with long agenesis. After

206
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,240
Speaker 1: having her second child, I'll just say the name now.

207
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:49,880
Speaker 1: Jasmine battled with postpartum depression as an as many new

208
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:53,680
Speaker 1: mothers do. As a guest on Dead, Jasmine hopes to

209
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,320
Speaker 1: talk about making the hard choice to have to have

210
00:13:56,360 --> 00:14:00,040
Speaker 1: another child, knowing the challenges that may come with it

211
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:05,920
Speaker 1: to everybody. Rep Jasmine in Love walks up big, all right,

212
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:09,240
Speaker 1: So our next contestant, if you will, is a third

213
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,439
Speaker 1: grade teacher who just celebrated her four year wedding anniversary

214
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:20,520
Speaker 1: with her husband Marcus on Valentine's Day. While Marcus and

215
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:25,440
Speaker 1: Catherine don't have any children yet, they struggle to find

216
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:29,520
Speaker 1: the balance between managing no She running up, She ain't

217
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,800
Speaker 1: even hear the rest of the she ain't even hear

218
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,120
Speaker 1: the rest of her arson hobbies, making time for each

219
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,880
Speaker 1: other and the guest on dead Ass, Catherine hopes to

220
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,200
Speaker 1: help other couples who are dealing with the same thing.

221
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,520
Speaker 1: Give it up for gatheringall. I just want you to

222
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,960
Speaker 1: remember some of your students parents may be in this audience.

223
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:53,200
Speaker 1: She said, I'm off duty. I'm off duty. She said,

224
00:14:54,080 --> 00:15:03,960
Speaker 1: fuck them kids. She even clocked out y'all. That's about teacher.

225
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:10,240
Speaker 1: That's how teachers be. That's how teachers beat against you.

226
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,440
Speaker 1: Shout out to all the teachers, any other teachers in

227
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:18,840
Speaker 1: the building, ya yo, shout out to teachers. Man, teachers, y'all,

228
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,880
Speaker 1: y'all are underpaid. Got any more people in y'all corner.

229
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,800
Speaker 1: I got four kids at home. I'll be hating all

230
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,640
Speaker 1: of them. Motherfucker's my career clock. I can't imagine having

231
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:34,480
Speaker 1: thirty kids in the same at the same Everybody sit

232
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:40,560
Speaker 1: up and parents. The parents be worse than the damn kids.

233
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:46,480
Speaker 1: That's a fact. That's a fact. And you know, y'all

234
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,280
Speaker 1: know I used to want to mentor ship program right right,

235
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,520
Speaker 1: So I dealt with a lot of kids. One of

236
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,680
Speaker 1: my kids, he's no longer a kid, he's a grown man,

237
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,960
Speaker 1: right well, two of them. One of them is Roger

238
00:15:56,040 --> 00:16:00,680
Speaker 1: right here, out to Roger. Roger, he tutors Jackson. Yes,

239
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:03,720
Speaker 1: that's the don't want to say, sill. I've been trying

240
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:08,720
Speaker 1: to take serious since he was eleven years oldies, since

241
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,760
Speaker 1: they were like, ye say so, my god, Ta Sial

242
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:15,160
Speaker 1: used to be a pain in the ass. Oh, I'm

243
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:18,440
Speaker 1: surprised he here. I used to scream at Taysion. We've

244
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,440
Speaker 1: been through a lot. We didn't been through a lot,

245
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,000
Speaker 1: say said, but he's here, which means that what I

246
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,760
Speaker 1: left the mark right, Because as educators and mentors, that's

247
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,120
Speaker 1: all we want to do, keep them alive and make

248
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,120
Speaker 1: them productive members of society. And with these two, that's

249
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,120
Speaker 1: exactly what they've done. So give them two young men

250
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:39,800
Speaker 1: around them. Applause. Yes, all right, we got two more

251
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,920
Speaker 1: contestants coming up here. Our next contestant is a confidence coach,

252
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:48,360
Speaker 1: whose mission is to champion others to develop the mindsets, habits,

253
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:52,840
Speaker 1: and skills necessary to live out their purpose nience. Because

254
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,920
Speaker 1: y'all like, I don't know the confidence coaches, well, hopefully

255
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,800
Speaker 1: she'll tell him. We're gonna find out as I don't

256
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,280
Speaker 1: know either, Can I Can I read the rest of it?

257
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,439
Speaker 1: Why why I need the cars? Let me get my

258
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,600
Speaker 1: card as a guest on dead ass, She hopes to

259
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,359
Speaker 1: empower our audience to attract the love and let the

260
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,000
Speaker 1: lives that they want by leading with humility and strengthening

261
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:25,240
Speaker 1: their interpersonal relationships. Ariasa, before we go on and on, Aresa,

262
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,760
Speaker 1: you have to let us know what a confidence coach does.

263
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,320
Speaker 1: Who who was laughing first because I was walking up

264
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:37,760
Speaker 1: at her. I don't be snitching. Was as a confidence coach.

265
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,760
Speaker 1: My mission, like she said, is instill the rights of

266
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,240
Speaker 1: confidence in other people by way a passion love or

267
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,560
Speaker 1: a petitioner relationship. So I have all y'all developed the mindset,

268
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,680
Speaker 1: habits and skills you need to be your best self

269
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:52,280
Speaker 1: and live out your purpose with confidence. Tell me period,

270
00:17:54,280 --> 00:18:03,080
Speaker 1: period and if you don't shit, that's for me. I

271
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 1: call Theresa. What you say? What'd you say? A Resa?

272
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:11,119
Speaker 1: Go hand with that for me? Please, thank you for

273
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:15,320
Speaker 1: coming up a resay the game. Yeah, your parents got

274
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,440
Speaker 1: real interested with the spelling here. We were in the back, like,

275
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,199
Speaker 1: so how exactly do we spell us pronounce this? But

276
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,600
Speaker 1: it's a beautiful name, So thank you for being here.

277
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:28,280
Speaker 1: Coach rees with a never known another car that was

278
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,160
Speaker 1: on another carnal, exactly the one that you don't have.

279
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:36,160
Speaker 1: You're stealing cars. That's why I didn't know. That's your

280
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,480
Speaker 1: second stripe. That's your second stripe down her hair. You

281
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,679
Speaker 1: got one morning and that's it all right. And our

282
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,320
Speaker 1: last and final contestant today says that she thinks that

283
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:50,840
Speaker 1: she's our twin. Hailing from Brooklyn, anybody else from Brooklyn

284
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:57,720
Speaker 1: and a half yo yo us Brooklyn has we get

285
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:04,400
Speaker 1: obnoxious real fast. Yes, you're all right now. Hailing from Brooklyn,

286
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,919
Speaker 1: Veronica has been envious of all the Dead Ass shows

287
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 1: that she's missed in New York. She's been married for

288
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:12,960
Speaker 1: ten years and has two beautiful children. As a guest

289
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,480
Speaker 1: on Dead Ass, Veronica hopes to share what the similarities

290
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:20,000
Speaker 1: between her life and ours have meant to her. This

291
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:25,400
Speaker 1: stage is a little tighter than anybody else that's back here.

292
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,240
Speaker 1: She said, you're gonna have to move over. There's no

293
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:34,119
Speaker 1: more stage left, all right. So we have three rounds

294
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:37,639
Speaker 1: to this game. Y'all right. Trevil has really, you know,

295
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:41,040
Speaker 1: turned it up a notch the first round. Here are

296
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 1: the instructions, okay, and we're gonna have kind of like

297
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 1: a buzzer situation so the audience can tell us who

298
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,840
Speaker 1: raises their hand first to answer. So this is called

299
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:55,120
Speaker 1: check your Connection. Since we started recording the podcast at home,

300
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,879
Speaker 1: we can't always record with guests in person, so we

301
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,920
Speaker 1: use video chats to ducked interviews. Sometimes our internet connection

302
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,480
Speaker 1: may not be strong and when we speak some words

303
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 1: they get cut off. But in order to keep the

304
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:12,400
Speaker 1: interview running smoothly. We have used context clues to get

305
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:16,320
Speaker 1: and guess what's been said. In this challenge. We will

306
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:20,439
Speaker 1: give you a sentence with some missing pieces. You have

307
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 1: one chance to fill in the blanks and to keep

308
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 1: the interview rolling and in out of Black History Month.

309
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 1: All of these questions are going somebody clap? Can you

310
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:36,160
Speaker 1: please clap? A Black History Month? Thank you? A lot

311
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 1: of good shit happened in this Black History Month, for sure.

312
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:42,359
Speaker 1: All of these questions will be about black culture. All right,

313
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:47,680
Speaker 1: So we have number one and you can raise your

314
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 1: hands as soon as I finish the statement. If they

315
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:59,200
Speaker 1: know it, then okay. Ready. His mama named him blank,

316
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 1: so I'm a call him blank. Who was it? Who

317
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 1: was it? Was? It? Was it? One or two? Here

318
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 1: we go. His mama Nadim Rocky, So I'm gonna call

319
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 1: him rock. What movie was you watching? Womp womp wamp.

320
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 1: It's a movie? Yes, famous clues from a movie. One

321
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 1: more time? One more time. His mama named him blank,

322
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:32,680
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna call him blank. His mama and I'm blank.

323
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call him blank. Come into America. His mama

324
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 1: named him curse. Who's mama named him so I'm gonna

325
00:21:55,320 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 1: call come on, America. I'm into America. He just found

326
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:08,320
Speaker 1: the at all right, so nobody gets a point, all right, Now,

327
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 1: nobody gets to listen. If I feel like some black

328
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 1: cards are gonna get revoked tonight, what y'all think? Yeah,

329
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna help them out. I'm gonna help this alright.

330
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:24,040
Speaker 1: All right, this one is also a movie. He gonna

331
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 1: blank in the blank. Oh my god, Houston, he's gonna

332
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:38,879
Speaker 1: knock you out. You had all the confidence in the

333
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 1: world when you said that's she's a confidence coach. Duh

334
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,880
Speaker 1: clues anybody else? Anybody else want to take a try.

335
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say it one more time. He gonna blank

336
00:22:52,880 --> 00:23:02,400
Speaker 1: in the blank. Friday, You're gonna ride in the car?

337
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 1: All right, well, listen, listen, listen, you got me. He

338
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:18,720
Speaker 1: gonna cry and you get in the car. No, you

339
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:24,160
Speaker 1: want to get the mic back. You added a few

340
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 1: extra words in there. Get me because science you're gonna

341
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: cry to night. God damn it, you happy car. Yes,

342
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:51,159
Speaker 1: he gonna cry in the car Friday. You are Millennium.

343
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:56,119
Speaker 1: You didn't watch Friday. You barely watch Friday. You teaching

344
00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 1: people kids? That needs to be a prerequisite to teach

345
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 1: my kids. I'm just saying, all right, you want an

346
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 1: easy one. What's the easy one? Let me see now, man,

347
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 1: y'a all ready, all right, here's the next one. Here's

348
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:24,399
Speaker 1: the next nervous. Now make the money, don't blank blank

349
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 1: blank blank, make the money. Don't let the money make you. Yeah,

350
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:44,120
Speaker 1: I see you, I see you. You have officially moved

351
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:48,720
Speaker 1: on to the next round. Man, that's mad alright right

352
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 1: now close the gap, now close all right, now let's go.

353
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 1: Y'a all ready. So this one is not a movie,

354
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:05,199
Speaker 1: but I need to know that you know the words. Okay,

355
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 1: come on blank blank blank blank, don't stop till you

356
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:13,679
Speaker 1: get enough? Who was blush? Who was used? No? Stop,

357
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 1: don't stop? Come on, don't stop t getting enough? They

358
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 1: don't it, ain't got it stop, don't stop. Te gone

359
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 1: gone no yo. The confidence coach did with everybody else.

360
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 1: Do the words come up? They don't say none of

361
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 1: them words. She said, that is not the word, go ahead,

362
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:54,440
Speaker 1: go ahead. Anyone know the actual word though, So it's

363
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 1: come on when the force, don't stop, don't stop till

364
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 1: you get enough. I didn't got one. That is black history.

365
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 1: We talked to him, brother that's black history. You gotta

366
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 1: know that. You know it, all right, all right, this

367
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 1: is going to be This is gonna be it to

368
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 1: see who moves on moves on a right no pressure.

369
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 1: Now you want me to do it? Lift every voice

370
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 1: and sing till Earth and heaven ring ring with the

371
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:55,880
Speaker 1: harmonies of liberty. Hold on, hold on, hold on, give

372
00:26:55,920 --> 00:27:01,120
Speaker 1: them a chance. There's no judgment, tiar Wait till they

373
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:09,399
Speaker 1: get in the car before you judge people. Don't judge people. Okay,

374
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 1: So y'all really cannot judge me. I am from the Bahamas,

375
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 1: so I ain't really learned that. Okay, y'all gotta teach

376
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,439
Speaker 1: me that one. All right, all right, this one we're

377
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 1: gonna do. This is one we're gonna do. We are

378
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: going to have a quick debate as to who has

379
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:30,400
Speaker 1: the best reason for not knowing these words. Stop aside,

380
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: we've already heard she's from the Bahamas. We need to

381
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 1: hear your excuse if this have been outlined. If you

382
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,119
Speaker 1: submit your questions, you gotta know stuff. I wouldn't have

383
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 1: submitting myself. I thought it would have been you know,

384
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 1: some of the questions and all I'm like, if I

385
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,159
Speaker 1: wouldn't have been prepared. I would have been okay, but

386
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:54,680
Speaker 1: I wasn't prepared. You know that makes sense. Now it's

387
00:27:54,800 --> 00:28:01,200
Speaker 1: up to the crowd. Either we're here or we're here.

388
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 1: We're gonna go with Bahamas because the crowd said so,

389
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 1: and I don't want no beef. So let's get for

390
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 1: a round of applause. Thank you so much. We appreciate

391
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 1: you walk this way. And here's the truth, ladies and gentlemen.

392
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,640
Speaker 1: It is not easy to get up here in front

393
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:30,680
Speaker 1: of all these black people and play these black ass games.

394
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 1: All right, So I don't want no what judgments from you. Houston, Okay,

395
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 1: as quiet as its capt I probably only knew about

396
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 1: twities on here anyway. But it's left every voice and

397
00:28:44,200 --> 00:29:05,479
Speaker 1: sing to Earth and heaven, rings of liberty. We're gonna rock,

398
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 1: We're gonna rock. Love the foot that the dark past

399
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 1: has talked us, so that the present past tell them

400
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 1: me something about Yes, sir, two uh huh, give this

401
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 1: some lf around of applause, Give ulf around of applause.

402
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: You know the Black national anthem. That's how it goes, y'all?

403
00:29:56,040 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 1: All right, all right up, and are y'allo's round two? Yes?

404
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 1: All right? So this round is called make it makes sense?

405
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 1: All right? All right. To be a good podcast guest,

406
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 1: you must have excellent communication skills. You have to be

407
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 1: able to get your point across so that many people

408
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 1: can understand. And this challenge will ask you a question.

409
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 1: Whether you know the correct answer or not, you have

410
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 1: to give us an answer that makes sense. Okay. We'll

411
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 1: give points to the best answer. The worst answer will

412
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: be eliminated, and you have fifteen seconds. So everyone gets

413
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 1: to answer one question and we're gonna pick the best answers.

414
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 1: So we're looking for the top two. Got it? All right?

415
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 1: What happened this? Guys, stay in my ass? What's happening?

416
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 1: It's my favorite part of the show right here. Let

417
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 1: me tuck this mic back here. Thank you? Got it?

418
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 1: Thank you? All right, So we're gonna start with who

419
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 1: should we start with? Coach Reese? All right, I'm gonna

420
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 1: start with you. So come on, Coach Reese, shed it

421
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 1: down for us. I got faith in your coaches, got

422
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 1: faith in you. So let's give the best answer now right.

423
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 1: You don't gotta make sense, but it gotta be a

424
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 1: good answer. Make it makes sense to us. You are

425
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 1: the CEO of a company called Buns, a plenty. What

426
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: do you sell buns up plenty? Yes, please, let's give

427
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 1: us a commercial. Now, are you looking for some buns here?

428
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 1: At Buns are Plenty? We got everything that you need

429
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: to serve hot dog buns. We cover your bun youngs.

430
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 1: But regardless, we get it done. Oh yeah, oh yeah,

431
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 1: oh yeah, oh yeah, buns to get it done, get

432
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: it done. I love that. Faget fans will make it

433
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: dance bones will get it done. I like that one.

434
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 1: I like that. I like that all right. Number two,

435
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 1: having sex or eating your favorite food? You have to

436
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 1: give up one? Which one? And why? Come on? Bahamas?

437
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 1: Oh no, okay, I would choose to give up my

438
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 1: favorite food because sax is way better than food, period period.

439
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 1: I love that. Okay, okay, okay. Number three triple is hilarious.

440
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 1: All right, all right, sis, So all of a sudden,

441
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 1: right listen up, y'all, we're gonna we're gonna see what

442
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 1: she has to say here. Now, all of a sudden,

443
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 1: your face is all over the news. Your friends and

444
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 1: family want to know what you did. What do you

445
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 1: tell them? See? She came to my house and she

446
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 1: was on side of my man. So when I thought

447
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 1: it was blah blah blah blah blah because you're not

448
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 1: coming to him. I will gladly smile in my mug

449
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 1: shot for that one, and I did, thank you. Well

450
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 1: there you since fine this educator, ladies and gentlemen, houstince fine,

451
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 1: this education back. So we are going to have the

452
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:59,720
Speaker 1: crowd applause. We're gonna have the crowd applause, but I

453
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 1: favorites and the least amount of applause is going to

454
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 1: have to go home. All right, we're gonna start here.

455
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 1: I mean, you don't got to go home. What you

456
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:14,840
Speaker 1: give it up for? Jazz man, We got buns of

457
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 1: plenty over here, all right, go ahead, and we got

458
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: thump tea shore all right, Bahamas, thank you so much

459
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 1: for joining us. Thank you jas. Everybody give it up

460
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 1: for jazz. Yes, like we said, it's not easy to

461
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 1: come up and thank you for coming through. So it's

462
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 1: down to the final two. It's the final countdown. Can

463
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 1: you remind them what they will win if they win

464
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:52,360
Speaker 1: this round? Go ahead and remind the triple what do

465
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 1: they win. You'll be tonight's feature guests on the podcast,

466
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,400
Speaker 1: so you'll get to Yes, you have an interview with

467
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:05,239
Speaker 1: de Valin Cadeen. Yes, good time to head, y'all. So

468
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 1: round three roles. All right, this is dead ass trivia

469
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: and we're gonna be looking for the first one to answer,

470
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 1: So y'all will let us know who was the first

471
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,319
Speaker 1: one to raise their hand to answer. If you are

472
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 1: a loyal dead ass listener, you should know the answer

473
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 1: to these questions. Once the question is read, you'll have

474
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 1: ten seconds to answer. The first player to answer correctly

475
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,839
Speaker 1: will score one point, and the player would the most

476
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 1: points win, right, got it? All right? Question number one,

477
00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:43,320
Speaker 1: come to the center, y'all, don't be shy. When we

478
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:48,800
Speaker 1: conceived our fourth child, Dakota, When did it happen? And

479
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 1: what was conceque? What was Cadeen inspired to do for

480
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 1: this extra special moment? Alright, hold on a second. They

481
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,840
Speaker 1: couldn't hear the question. That's because y'all was screaming. The

482
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 1: question was where we conceived our horse child? What was

483
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 1: couldeem inspired by? All right? The blue lights? Well you

484
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 1: get a point because you got blue rights, Yes, the

485
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 1: blue lights. Yeah, but after everybody else screamed light, y'all

486
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 1: got to be quiet, y'allly achievement for people, all right,

487
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 1: So that's one that was the Blue Lights. So it

488
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:39,440
Speaker 1: happened the day before Valentine's Day, almost two days, almost

489
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 1: two years to the dates. Yes, when Devout came home

490
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 1: from filming on sets, was filming Sisters and Sisters was

491
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 1: on TV? Yes, shout out? Who here watching Sisters? Yes? Yes, yes,

492
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 1: Sisters is actually on right now. It's Wednesday, and it's

493
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:02,720
Speaker 1: Wednesday my bed. Y'all know, y'all know, nothing happened, nothing

494
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,799
Speaker 1: really happened. Do we still know who baby it is? Yet?

495
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 1: It ain't mine? Because if it's mine, I'm sending you

496
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:19,239
Speaker 1: the Caren House. All right? You Fatima friend for tim

497
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:26,120
Speaker 1: a friend? Alright? Question number two? Who dang? I already

498
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 1: said both? Whatever? Who is the producer of the show?

499
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:34,840
Speaker 1: Say it correctly for an extra point? O trouble a

500
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 1: coach confidence just got two points because she said trible

501
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 1: and she said it correctly. Yeah, trouble from our coach confidences.

502
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:50,399
Speaker 1: Ub Oh my god, this this next one is so embarrassing.

503
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 1: Who remembers the episode for Game Night with Kid Kid

504
00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 1: Fury from the read anybody remember that in this episode

505
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 1: of the Game Night with the legendary podcos podcast host

506
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 1: Kid Fury, What embarrassing secret did I tell it was

507
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 1: so bad, y'all? And if y'all don't know, don't gonna

508
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 1: look for it. No, listen, you got an accident, you

509
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 1: let it go somewhere he wasn't supposed to everywhere else

510
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:42,279
Speaker 1: but the toilet. You pooped yourself, You shipped your pans.

511
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,959
Speaker 1: One thing I'm learning about coach confidence. Coach confidence gonna

512
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,800
Speaker 1: say whatever she thinking, she's gonna say it with a

513
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,800
Speaker 1: lot of confidence and have us thinking she know what

514
00:38:52,920 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 1: she's talking about and wrong. Not all right, do y'all

515
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:12,400
Speaker 1: want to know what it is? Baby? Tell us? All right,

516
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 1: y'all forget it. We family, right, don't judge me, now,

517
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 1: judge me when you get to your cars later. So

518
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 1: I was in a pinch. I was still work hands

519
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 1: to makeup artists heading to a client's house. Right, my

520
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:27,879
Speaker 1: stomach started, all right, So I'm frantic at this point

521
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I can't go to this woman's house

522
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 1: and take a ship in her toilet. So I got

523
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 1: to figure something out. There's no exits, with no McDonald's,

524
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 1: nothing I can stop at. I look in the back seat.

525
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 1: My mom had a ziplock bag. I am a pause

526
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 1: a ziplock bag. With bobby pins in it that she

527
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:52,319
Speaker 1: would take to get her hair done and get her

528
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 1: wrap on her dubie. So I says, you know what

529
00:39:55,280 --> 00:40:01,160
Speaker 1: it's now, We're never So I proceeded to pour the

530
00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 1: bobby pins out of the bag. I pulled over on

531
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,320
Speaker 1: the side of an exit where it was very desolate.

532
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:09,560
Speaker 1: I opened both car doors because you know, you gotta

533
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 1: opened the front and the bag to kind of make

534
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 1: a little little triangle joint. Right, you made a little stall,

535
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 1: and I took a ship on the side of the

536
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 1: road in the ziploc bag. And I don't know y'all

537
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 1: have been there before. Question, question, what did you wipe

538
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 1: yourself with? Thank you? Thank you. You're not talking to

539
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 1: the top flight security over there, but the inquiring minds

540
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:49,880
Speaker 1: want to know what you wiped yourself with. So after

541
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 1: I did my thing, I realized there's no tissue inside.

542
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 1: So I took my sock off and I wiped my

543
00:40:56,680 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 1: ass with my sock. That's when I knew I had

544
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 1: a rider right there. But she told me that story.

545
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:10,320
Speaker 1: I said, we can survive anywhere. Are you willing to

546
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 1: do that? And got my little hand sanitizer, got to

547
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 1: my client's house wash my hands and every always well

548
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 1: in the lands, but I could not function in that state. So, yes,

549
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 1: that was an embarrassing moment, y'all that I told y'all

550
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 1: about on the podcast. Yes, it stays here. Nobody else

551
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:31,240
Speaker 1: gonna listen to it. Yeah, it's on the podcast. Everybody

552
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 1: didn't heard it. Everybody that asked got a whole new

553
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 1: meaning now that as live as a mother. Sure as

554
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 1: he was there. That's a fact. All right. So this

555
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 1: is the last question. You can either catch up or

556
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 1: a coach confidence is gonna win? Yes, question number four card,

557
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:55,279
Speaker 1: it's our cards. We over me baby, right, Why I

558
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: gotta be yours? What is Cadine's favorite part of the show.

559
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:06,719
Speaker 1: What is Cadeen's favorite part of the show. It's the

560
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:11,520
Speaker 1: listener questions, right letters that it's correct, sleister letters. It's

561
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:14,760
Speaker 1: my favorite part of the show. Me my mic bankman,

562
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 1: you can have a seat, ahead, have a seat. You

563
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:21,160
Speaker 1: welcome to dead ass podcast. Coach Confidence. Everybody give it

564
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:26,799
Speaker 1: up a coach confidence, give it up for freeze. So wait,

565
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:29,439
Speaker 1: where's your mike? We gotta give you a mic. Oh yeah,

566
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 1: but if you're a mic, hello, all right, we're here

567
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:36,280
Speaker 1: we go. First question is how did you start listening

568
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:40,160
Speaker 1: to dead ass podcast? I was here before the podcast

569
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 1: was the podcast? Were talking like backbone baby, maybe one

570
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 1: or two YouTube like just you being like like the

571
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: whole like that before the podcast. That's though, we love

572
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 1: you even more for that. Yeah, we appreciate you. But no,

573
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,360
Speaker 1: in all honesty, this is the time you want to

574
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:02,719
Speaker 1: give you to talk to the people. If you a

575
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:06,839
Speaker 1: podcastle you have thirties, you are a podcast, so well,

576
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 1: I take the podcast with coaches check me out. I

577
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:10,839
Speaker 1: ain't even have to say it. I always want to say,

578
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:14,720
Speaker 1: take your time, but she confidently told us go ahead

579
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 1: and tell us where we can find you. Yes, yeah,

580
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 1: on everything, so on tick talking about coach rees one

581
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 1: on YouTube, I'm at you wish coaching on I g

582
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:25,400
Speaker 1: you wish coaching. But the podcast is practiced the podcast

583
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:28,120
Speaker 1: with coach es where we fuse research and culture to

584
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 1: help you develop the minds of habits and skills you

585
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 1: need in order to live out your purpose. With a comment,

586
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 1: y'all bet y'all better give it up. Y'all better give

587
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 1: it up, but y'all better give it up. I love that.

588
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:45,200
Speaker 1: So I can imagine based on your podcast topic and

589
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 1: you're saying you, being a confidence coach, you've probably given

590
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 1: people lots of great advice, right, I think? So has

591
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 1: there been times when you yourself have maybe gotten not

592
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:58,319
Speaker 1: so good advice and not taking it advice? Yeah? Absolutely,

593
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 1: I think bad advice. I think you can learn from anybody.

594
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 1: So even watching somebody move the wrong way, if you're wise,

595
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 1: you can learn from that. So so the reason I

596
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,320
Speaker 1: asked that if you've ever gotten bad advice because in

597
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,759
Speaker 1: the book de Val and I, if you guys haven't

598
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 1: read it, anybody read the book yet or just started

599
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:17,399
Speaker 1: reading it or in it? Yeah? Good. So the reason

600
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 1: I asked that is because the Vale, when we wrote

601
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:21,480
Speaker 1: the book, initially said, you know what, we want to

602
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 1: give people an insight into our love story. But we

603
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:28,320
Speaker 1: didn't necessarily wanted to be a book of how twos

604
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 1: or pillars on how to have the perfect relationship because

605
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 1: we felt like we didn't have all the answers. So

606
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 1: we decided that we were going to write a book

607
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,280
Speaker 1: about our love story that could encompass so many different

608
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 1: things that people from different walks of life can pull from.

609
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 1: So whether you're single, whether you're married, when you're in

610
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 1: a relationship, a situationship and entanglement, whatever your situation might

611
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:49,920
Speaker 1: look like. We wanted to make sure that people can

612
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 1: get that because what I realized growing up over time,

613
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 1: I think he's in a own purpose to at this point, Yeah,

614
00:44:56,080 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 1: let me tell you something. We're gonna fight and shook

615
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 1: what we realized over time. Just even through writing our book,

616
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 1: we're just looking at a recap of our childhood and

617
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:11,280
Speaker 1: how it got us to be who we are today.

618
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 1: That we didn't receive a lot of conversations from family

619
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:19,279
Speaker 1: members about how to do adulting right, how to be

620
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 1: a husband, how to be a wife, And in part

621
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 1: I was a little bitter as I was growing up

622
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 1: because I felt like man, like nobody was really explaining

623
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,399
Speaker 1: these difficult things to me. But in the same breath,

624
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 1: I felt like, man, if somebody was to give me

625
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,760
Speaker 1: advice and the advice just to be some real fucked

626
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 1: up advice or someone coming with a jaded, tainted experience

627
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 1: of their life, then maybe that too would have been

628
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 1: hard for me to kind of absorb. So have you

629
00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 1: ever bumped into people who are just coming through different

630
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 1: walks of life that have been jaded and tainted by

631
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: bad experiences? How do you pull someone out of that

632
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 1: to be confident. The first thing I always say is

633
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:56,440
Speaker 1: get to the route your energy precede you. So if

634
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,800
Speaker 1: I don't focus on the energy that I'm giving myself,

635
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 1: I'm going to permit that onto you every single day.

636
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:03,919
Speaker 1: And a lot of times we don't recognize that people

637
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 1: are giving us their insecurities, right, can we get some

638
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 1: claps with the that's something true, that's real talk? So

639
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:14,920
Speaker 1: if I would say, get to the root, because what

640
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:16,560
Speaker 1: you're talking about too can be a little bit of

641
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 1: imposter syndrome, right, So a lot of times castle will

642
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 1: talk to you from their sense of imposter syndrome. So

643
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:23,160
Speaker 1: if you're not getting to the root of who instilled

644
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:24,920
Speaker 1: that voice in you, I'm gonna be like, don't do

645
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 1: that out of your fear. Don't speak to my vision

646
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,920
Speaker 1: your fear. Right, So I have to make sure that

647
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 1: I'm clear on what my vision is. Love that. I

648
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 1: love that, And I know I'd be joking a lot,

649
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 1: but that actually is some really really good advice because

650
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 1: so many times, even with Kadine and I, when we

651
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:47,640
Speaker 1: used to tell our parents even what our thought process

652
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 1: was about what we want to do with our life,

653
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:53,200
Speaker 1: our parents used to project their insecurities onto us, and

654
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:57,160
Speaker 1: it taught us not to project our insecurities onto our kids.

655
00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:59,879
Speaker 1: For example, with Kiro, Kiro saw me do a back

656
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: flip on YouTube he was five. He said, Daddy, I

657
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 1: want to do a backflip. The first thing in my

658
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 1: mind was to say, please, don't do that. You're gonna

659
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 1: hurt yourself. But I said, you know what, let me

660
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:13,839
Speaker 1: not project my fears on him. So I said, bro,

661
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 1: go downstairs, find some pillows. In practice. Within three months,

662
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 1: Cairo came back to me and said, Daddy watched this

663
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 1: and he did a backflip in front of me and Kadeem.

664
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 1: And to be honest, I felt proud as a parent,

665
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,879
Speaker 1: but I felt proud for him, and I also felt

666
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 1: proud for us because it took everything in me not

667
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:38,360
Speaker 1: to be like, boy, go sit your ass down, because

668
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:41,359
Speaker 1: I I've been there on my parents, So I think

669
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:46,839
Speaker 1: that's great, great advice, that awesome. And I just want

670
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 1: to take this time because I really do appreciate you.

671
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:50,839
Speaker 1: You allowed us to come up there. We make jokes

672
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:52,320
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, but I want to give you

673
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:54,600
Speaker 1: thirty seconds to speak to the crowd and give them

674
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:57,200
Speaker 1: the best advice you can give them in thirty seconds.

675
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 1: The first thing I was say is I believe everybody

676
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:03,319
Speaker 1: was born with the purpose on purpose to live out

677
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:07,840
Speaker 1: their purpose. One time, you were born with the purpose

678
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 1: on purpose to live out your purpose. Okay, so that's

679
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 1: the py Your purpose is being doing and becoming being

680
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:17,799
Speaker 1: who you are. Every single one of you right now

681
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 1: are living in your purpose. It doesn't always mean being

682
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,719
Speaker 1: active and in your passions like you right now, we're

683
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:26,400
Speaker 1: being in your purpose. The doing right is your passions,

684
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 1: their craft, like they are doing their purpose right. That's

685
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 1: their passions. How we acted out the becoming is our potential.

686
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:35,880
Speaker 1: So I think the gap between who we are and

687
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 1: who you want to be the differences. Are you living

688
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,800
Speaker 1: in your purpose? Are you actively striving to be that person?

689
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 1: And the dopest thing about tomorrow is you get to

690
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:48,960
Speaker 1: start over again. Can we get a round of a

691
00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 1: pose for recently? Thank you so much, Thank you so much.

692
00:48:54,040 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 1: We appreciate your real talk. Yes, thank you so much, Yo,

693
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:16,840
Speaker 1: that was some good stuff in all honesty, in all honesty, Reese,

694
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 1: thank you so much for your time, your words. I

695
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 1: feel like people will walk out of here feeling a

696
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 1: little bit better about themselves because they were able to

697
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 1: get some information. But this is the part of the

698
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 1: show where we like to hear from you guys. Yes,

699
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 1: so more importantly than us telling our story, we kind

700
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 1: of want to get a little bit about your stories

701
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:36,879
Speaker 1: by hearing you ask questions. This is the listener letter

702
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:39,680
Speaker 1: aspect of the show. So I think we have time

703
00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:43,960
Speaker 1: for what maybe three six? Or we got six questions? Oh?

704
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 1: I see one here? Okay, Oh all right, love that

705
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 1: the question I have? What we have? How we get

706
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 1: the three whole boys? Because we all three whole girls?

707
00:49:54,800 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 1: Oh so what you gotta do with no? So, based

708
00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 1: on everything that we've been told by our doctors is

709
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:09,319
Speaker 1: that it's a I guess it's a physiological decision. Right,

710
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:15,400
Speaker 1: So my boy sperm swim extremely fast. They just be like,

711
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 1: just be y'all, y'all heard that, right. The boys swim faster,

712
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:24,799
Speaker 1: but they also die quicker, right, and the girls they

713
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:27,560
Speaker 1: live longer, but they take longer to get there. So

714
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:33,520
Speaker 1: what happens is if she is lubricated, you know what

715
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:37,760
Speaker 1: I mean, and my boys is in there, it's always

716
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:40,839
Speaker 1: gonna be a boy. So long story short, you gotta

717
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 1: work on the four play bro y'all, make sure that

718
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:49,879
Speaker 1: she is well lubricated. If you know what I'm saying,

719
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Do you know what I'm saying.

720
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, do your thing, let it

721
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:58,000
Speaker 1: rub on the ball, do a little bit. You know

722
00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:00,520
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. While you're doing your thing, and then

723
00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:02,800
Speaker 1: more likely you're gonna have a bullet. Said that the

724
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:05,319
Speaker 1: woman has to take control for the boys. Well, that's

725
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:12,839
Speaker 1: accurate too, You damn right. I'd be like, do your thing.

726
00:51:16,719 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 1: That's a damn line, don't know. Kay's favorite position was

727
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 1: Kate's favorite position. You know, sorry, it's giving. I'd be

728
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:39,280
Speaker 1: doing all the damn work, pumping and sweating, pumping. She'd

729
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 1: be back there like, you're not done yet. I'd be like,

730
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 1: I'm enjoying myself. Nah, and all honesty. The doctor said,

731
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 1: is nothing you can do, bro, doctor said, no, y'all,

732
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:53,400
Speaker 1: this this is the true story. We went to the doctor.

733
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:55,799
Speaker 1: I said, Bro, I got three boys, I want a girl.

734
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:57,960
Speaker 1: What can I do? Right? The doctor said, listen, we

735
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:01,879
Speaker 1: could even take your sperm and her eggs, and there's

736
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:03,839
Speaker 1: still a chance that when we put them together, all

737
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:07,720
Speaker 1: the embryos be boys. He said, God makes a decision,

738
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,359
Speaker 1: you can. And the thing is, most people that they're

739
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:13,280
Speaker 1: trying to get a certain sex, they'll get fifteen embryos,

740
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:16,760
Speaker 1: maybe five will be girls, uh, ten will be boys,

741
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:18,840
Speaker 1: and they just pick each other. They want an implant.

742
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 1: But the doctor told us there's no guaranteed way to

743
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 1: have a boy a girl. He just said, man, you

744
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,880
Speaker 1: gotta pray on it. And here's the sad truth. If

745
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 1: you have three girls, you're probably gonna have another girl.

746
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 1: Because he told us, if we have boys, we're gonna

747
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:35,839
Speaker 1: have another. And you see what happened. We had another boy.

748
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:39,480
Speaker 1: So it's a blessing. Man. We got boys, y'all got girls.

749
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:41,040
Speaker 1: Maybe one day we'll be in laws. You know what

750
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 1: I'm saying. I just know what I'm saying. I understand

751
00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 1: why people arrange marriages now that I have children, because

752
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:49,279
Speaker 1: you can't be raising your kids, yo, how and then

753
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:55,040
Speaker 1: expect to come over here. I feel you, Yes, you

754
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 1: might be arranging a marriage or too. So we'll see

755
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:59,839
Speaker 1: because mother in laws be crazy too. Did y'all read

756
00:52:59,880 --> 00:53:01,960
Speaker 1: the book? Did y'all se the beef between me and

757
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:05,279
Speaker 1: MEMI and the book? Oh they had beef, y'all? Me

758
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 1: and Mimi have beef beef. Me and Memi ain't talked

759
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 1: for two years. Yeah, yeah, it was crazy in Brooklyn

760
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:16,640
Speaker 1: for a minute. Let we have a question over here.

761
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:21,839
Speaker 1: So me and my husband, we've been together for thirteen years.

762
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:24,480
Speaker 1: We have two kids. We have a boy and a girl. Yes,

763
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 1: shout out to you. I don't have a question, but

764
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:29,040
Speaker 1: I just want y'all to just explain to everybody like

765
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 1: the importance of like day night, after the kids, after

766
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:35,879
Speaker 1: the career, because it gets like really hard, especially because

767
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:39,279
Speaker 1: we work together. We literally does, and it's it's like

768
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:44,360
Speaker 1: really hard. He's sleeps he like, who bet he's sleep

769
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:47,279
Speaker 1: It ain't hard for me. Yes, yes, this one rya

770
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:50,960
Speaker 1: thise ya. He shot, he shot. Don't be shy, bro

771
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:56,120
Speaker 1: let me shine side. So Deval and I worked together

772
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 1: a lot, right, So most of our businesses are joint.

773
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:00,880
Speaker 1: We have the podcast together, do a lot of appearances

774
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 1: and things together. And then you throw the four boys

775
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:05,319
Speaker 1: into the makes, you throw our individual goals into the makes,

776
00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:08,920
Speaker 1: You throw us trying to be you know, a buzz

777
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:11,640
Speaker 1: sorry son and daughter to our parents. All that everything

778
00:54:11,719 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 1: gets really really intense really quickly, and we realize that

779
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:18,320
Speaker 1: he and I don't do well when we're not connected.

780
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,719
Speaker 1: So we find time now and we're more deliberate about it.

781
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:25,480
Speaker 1: It's finding time to disconnect from everything else so that

782
00:54:25,560 --> 00:54:27,279
Speaker 1: way we can take even if it's an hour or

783
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 1: two to reconnect. And sometimes it's super simple for us.

784
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:32,520
Speaker 1: Like my mom is at the point now where she

785
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:34,600
Speaker 1: kind of knows and I'll sometimes give her the nudge,

786
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:36,320
Speaker 1: like Mom, Devout, I just need to night, just to

787
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 1: kind of decompress. So she'll take the kids and she'll

788
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 1: put them the bed downstairs and she'll be like, all right,

789
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:43,200
Speaker 1: the house is yours. You know. We have to make

790
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:44,840
Speaker 1: sure Memi and Pop are on a different level than

791
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:46,719
Speaker 1: us and the other side of the house because they

792
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 1: couldn't be below us. But sometimes they couldn't be below us.

793
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 1: But we take it back to the simple things that

794
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 1: we enjoy. Like Devout looked at me at one point,

795
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 1: I want to say, maybe in October and November of

796
00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:00,360
Speaker 1: last year, and he almost looked like like he was

797
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 1: concerned or something. And I looked at him in the

798
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:04,000
Speaker 1: eye and I'm like, what's the matter, And he was like,

799
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:09,280
Speaker 1: I just missed my girlfriend, like I miss her whoever

800
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:10,719
Speaker 1: she is. And at that point, I'm like, you've never

801
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:12,200
Speaker 1: met so many of me. I don't know who I

802
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:14,719
Speaker 1: am even today, but I'm gonna trying to find the

803
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:17,560
Speaker 1: girlfriend vibes and bring that back. So we've been much

804
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 1: more intentional about doing the little things that used to

805
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 1: excite us so much. I mean, I think about sitting

806
00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 1: in my dorm room when I was in grad school

807
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:27,160
Speaker 1: at a cute little apartment on campus, and he would

808
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 1: come by. I would make a quick dinner. You know,

809
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:30,840
Speaker 1: I was on a budget with a meal plan and everything,

810
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:33,760
Speaker 1: so I'd make dinner. He'd come by. You know, everybody

811
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:36,160
Speaker 1: was making Alfredo back in the day. Every right tired

812
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:38,719
Speaker 1: of Alfredo. Now I'm tired of Alfredo. Made my little

813
00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 1: Alfredo dish for him. We sat down watching New York

814
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:44,080
Speaker 1: on the cover on TV. Play right, shout out to

815
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:45,719
Speaker 1: New York on the cover. They have throwbacks on now

816
00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:48,759
Speaker 1: if y'all are not, yeah, it's playing now. But we'd

817
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:50,319
Speaker 1: watch New York on the cover. We'd have a deck

818
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:53,040
Speaker 1: of cards, we sit and play roma together, just like

819
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:55,760
Speaker 1: little things like that. We started doing that more lately

820
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:58,759
Speaker 1: and doing once a week, just having at least at

821
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:02,120
Speaker 1: the very minimum two together. And that's helped so much

822
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:04,239
Speaker 1: because we have so many things coming our way. So yes,

823
00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:06,719
Speaker 1: date nights are important after the kids. If you have

824
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:09,160
Speaker 1: a village around you that you can lean on for support.

825
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:12,960
Speaker 1: You don't have a village, no, you gotta jeli is

826
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:16,239
Speaker 1: lean on it. Oh, okay, good. So if you have

827
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:17,920
Speaker 1: somebody you can lean on to just take the kids

828
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:19,800
Speaker 1: off your hands for a little bit. It's important because

829
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:21,760
Speaker 1: in the book too, you'll see we have a chapter

830
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:25,120
Speaker 1: that says the kids ain't first, And though that may

831
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:28,520
Speaker 1: not be the popular belief, we honestly believe that the

832
00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:30,719
Speaker 1: kids don't function well if the energy is off in

833
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 1: our house. So we got to be on the same page. Yeah,

834
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:37,640
Speaker 1: And I'll speak to something that I know worked for me.

835
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:39,400
Speaker 1: That which is something that I had to learn, was

836
00:56:40,239 --> 00:56:42,919
Speaker 1: it's okay for us as men to tell our women

837
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:46,279
Speaker 1: what we want right. And the reason why I say

838
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:49,120
Speaker 1: that is because we've been taught as men to not

839
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:52,400
Speaker 1: be nags. Don't say nothing if something isn't going the

840
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:54,560
Speaker 1: way you like it, we just be quiet. And what

841
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:56,839
Speaker 1: happens is resentment builds up and a lot of times

842
00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,239
Speaker 1: we do what then we flash out and then your

843
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:00,879
Speaker 1: girls and news like I didn't know all this what's

844
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:03,879
Speaker 1: going on, But this has been going on the whole time.

845
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 1: I will be the first to tell you the moment

846
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:08,400
Speaker 1: I started to speak honestly with my wife about what

847
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:12,160
Speaker 1: I need, what I desired, she made it happen, you know,

848
00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:14,200
Speaker 1: dead ass. I was like, yo, I like when you

849
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:16,080
Speaker 1: used to wear the short shorts and the crop tops

850
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:18,480
Speaker 1: and all this other stuff. I walk in, I'll be

851
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:20,200
Speaker 1: gone for weeks. You know what she gone on when

852
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:22,760
Speaker 1: I walk in the house short shorts and crop times.

853
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 1: I told her, I like watching New York under Cover.

854
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:31,280
Speaker 1: I walk in one day. All I hear is but

855
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:33,400
Speaker 1: it would have never happened if I didn't say it.

856
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 1: And a lot of times we and I say we

857
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:37,720
Speaker 1: because I did the same thing. I expect her to

858
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:40,360
Speaker 1: figure it out right, like she a mind reader. And

859
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:41,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know me for all these years, how

860
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 1: do you not know that I liked these things? And

861
00:57:43,880 --> 00:57:45,920
Speaker 1: She's like, I got so much other things to focus on.

862
00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:48,200
Speaker 1: And I thought I was doing everything right because you

863
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:51,280
Speaker 1: never said anything. So I started to be honest and

864
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:53,439
Speaker 1: open with her in real time about what I needed

865
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:55,840
Speaker 1: and what I required, and she stepped up to the

866
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:58,480
Speaker 1: plate and also I do the same thing. I tell her,

867
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:01,280
Speaker 1: tell me what you want, don't expect me to guess

868
00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:03,000
Speaker 1: and figure it out. I got a lot of stuff

869
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:06,560
Speaker 1: going on too, ladies. A lot of times, your your husbands,

870
00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:08,640
Speaker 1: your boyfriends, your baby falls. They have a lot of

871
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:11,400
Speaker 1: stuff going on. And if you don't tell them what's

872
00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:14,720
Speaker 1: going on with you, they don't know. And it's not

873
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:16,480
Speaker 1: fair for you to be like you supposed to know

874
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:19,680
Speaker 1: you my man, he don't know. I've known this woman

875
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:22,320
Speaker 1: since she was eighteen. It seemed like every three years

876
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:25,080
Speaker 1: she changed shit. I don't be knowing half the time

877
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:28,800
Speaker 1: myself real. So I just say that speak honestly to

878
00:58:28,920 --> 00:58:30,960
Speaker 1: each other and don't be afraid to be judged by

879
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,640
Speaker 1: your partner just because they tell you what they want. Yeah,

880
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 1: and we don't have the time to be guessing shit

881
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,040
Speaker 1: no more. I'm like, yo, what do you want tonight? Like?

882
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:39,080
Speaker 1: What night? Is it gonna be? Right? So that way

883
00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:41,000
Speaker 1: we're upfrot about it. We know what it is. It

884
00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:43,320
Speaker 1: doesn't feel like scheduling per se, but it's more so like,

885
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:45,320
Speaker 1: all right, I know we gotta take care of business tonight,

886
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:46,600
Speaker 1: so how are we doing it? So I know what

887
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:48,720
Speaker 1: I ought to prepare for and we enjoy that. We

888
00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:51,920
Speaker 1: enjoy that, y'all need I need me a little librarian.

889
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:56,280
Speaker 1: I needed two pig tails. And then she'll be like,

890
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:59,160
Speaker 1: it's a safe space, right, She'll be like, going a room,

891
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:02,520
Speaker 1: smoky weed. When you come back, I go in there,

892
00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 1: do what you gotta do. I don't know what click

893
00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:14,520
Speaker 1: click click click, and she got them heels on and

894
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:16,200
Speaker 1: she'd be just like you was looking for a book.

895
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:25,720
Speaker 1: I was like, oh yeah, period, yes. Then we jumped

896
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:30,280
Speaker 1: from the intro to the conclusion just like that. Seriously,

897
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:33,400
Speaker 1: we are seriously about serving each other in this relationship,

898
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:35,360
Speaker 1: like if my wife needs something, I'm near for her.

899
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:37,520
Speaker 1: When I need something, I'm not afraid to tell her

900
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:39,520
Speaker 1: what I need and she's just like, I got you, baby.

901
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:41,400
Speaker 1: And that's how we've been able to keep the fire

902
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:43,880
Speaker 1: going and keep date Nights live. So for sure, and

903
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:45,800
Speaker 1: talking about service, we talk about that lot on the

904
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 1: lot now on the podcast. We mentioned it in the

905
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:50,680
Speaker 1: book as well, because what we've also realized too is

906
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 1: that when we when we feel and we see the

907
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:57,240
Speaker 1: effort in the reciprocity, right, I'm like, you know, what's

908
00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:59,479
Speaker 1: about what can I do today to make your plate lighter,

909
00:59:59,520 --> 01:00:01,400
Speaker 1: what can I do to help you out today? And

910
01:00:01,520 --> 01:00:03,040
Speaker 1: he'll let me know, you know, I got this going

911
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:04,520
Speaker 1: on that it will help me if you did this

912
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:07,280
Speaker 1: by me taking that one thing off of his plate

913
01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:11,400
Speaker 1: because it's something that I can handle, then in turn,

914
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:14,080
Speaker 1: he's freed up to do something for me return, and

915
01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:16,400
Speaker 1: that makes it that much easier. So that's a service component,

916
01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 1: and that's why in the book, for example, our subtitle

917
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:21,960
Speaker 1: is the counterintuitive Approach to getting everything you want out

918
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:24,800
Speaker 1: of your relationship, because what we're doing is removing the

919
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:27,480
Speaker 1: I need to find somebody who's going to complete me,

920
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:29,560
Speaker 1: they need to check all these boxes like we typically

921
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:32,360
Speaker 1: do when we're looking for relationships, right, But instead, what

922
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:34,640
Speaker 1: we've realized is if you come as a whole person

923
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,480
Speaker 1: who's happy with who you are and are looking to

924
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:40,800
Speaker 1: be of service to someone, then that's more so the

925
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:44,080
Speaker 1: approach that worked for us in our relationship. So hopefully

926
01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:46,720
Speaker 1: that can resonate with some people. Knowing whether you're for

927
01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:48,919
Speaker 1: a marriage, whether you're not, are you the marriage type

928
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 1: or not, you'd luck being single and you're okay being single,

929
01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:53,919
Speaker 1: that's fine too, But at least hopefully that gives people

930
01:00:53,960 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 1: perspective about knowing further what they want. Yeah, baby, Hi,

931
01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:04,480
Speaker 1: how are y'all tonight? What's up? Okay, First of all,

932
01:01:04,520 --> 01:01:07,320
Speaker 1: I want to say that forgive me because I had

933
01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:09,320
Speaker 1: no clue who y'all are when I walked through this door.

934
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 1: We know who you are. It's okay, thank you. Listen,

935
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 1: my friend, I don't know who you are. What's your name? Denira? Nice?

936
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:24,120
Speaker 1: Nice to me? Hey, hey girl. If I'm like that,

937
01:01:24,280 --> 01:01:27,680
Speaker 1: now listen. So my friend came out here from New York.

938
01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:30,200
Speaker 1: She introduced me to you guys tonight, and I was like, yeah,

939
01:01:30,280 --> 01:01:32,760
Speaker 1: let's do it. Let's go. And so you came out

940
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:34,960
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my gosh, she's gorgeous, and

941
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:38,800
Speaker 1: what about me? What about me? That's your that's your girl.

942
01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:43,320
Speaker 1: I'm not listening. I got too much respect, but I

943
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:45,680
Speaker 1: was like, wow, she's gorgeous. And you said, you have

944
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:48,720
Speaker 1: four boys. I have two kids. How did you gain

945
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:51,520
Speaker 1: the confidence back after having kids? Because you're definitely not

946
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:53,440
Speaker 1: the same person after having kids. And what did you

947
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:56,560
Speaker 1: do to help her gain her confidence back and regain

948
01:01:56,640 --> 01:01:59,520
Speaker 1: who she was after being a mother girl. That's a

949
01:01:59,560 --> 01:02:07,880
Speaker 1: great question. Well, thank you, welcome you better? Well, yeah,

950
01:02:07,920 --> 01:02:10,160
Speaker 1: that's Um, that's a great question. And I think I'm

951
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:12,000
Speaker 1: still trying to figure out who I am. I even

952
01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:14,680
Speaker 1: just said to my stylists recently, Um, shout out to Sharich.

953
01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:16,760
Speaker 1: Put me in this beautiful pant suit and these shoes.

954
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:19,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, can I even walk in these after four kids? Um?

955
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:21,640
Speaker 1: I think it's the pandemic to everybody. Had a problem

956
01:02:21,720 --> 01:02:24,520
Speaker 1: walking the heels again two years of being locked down.

957
01:02:24,520 --> 01:02:27,800
Speaker 1: I ain't wear heels. I'm looking like a whole newborn

958
01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 1: baby calf some days in these shoes. But um, but

959
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:36,760
Speaker 1: for me, uh what because if I'll seeing me walk

960
01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:40,160
Speaker 1: like that too? I did? I did them first three steps.

961
01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:44,040
Speaker 1: I was like, whoa, whoa, my hip already fucked up.

962
01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:48,720
Speaker 1: I can't even help you if you fall ahead. Um.

963
01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:51,640
Speaker 1: But yes, children have a way of making you feel

964
01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:56,480
Speaker 1: very unrecognizable, right, Um, from the pregnancy to the postpartum life.

965
01:02:56,520 --> 01:02:57,920
Speaker 1: That not a lot of people talk about what that

966
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:02,080
Speaker 1: body looks like after the kids. So for me, it

967
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:05,880
Speaker 1: was being okay with not being okay with my body again,

968
01:03:05,960 --> 01:03:08,560
Speaker 1: right because there's so much culture around feeling like you

969
01:03:08,720 --> 01:03:11,120
Speaker 1: have to embrace the stretch marks and you have to

970
01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:13,600
Speaker 1: embrace the loose skin, and you have to embrace the balling,

971
01:03:13,680 --> 01:03:15,680
Speaker 1: and you have to embrace all these things. It's okay

972
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:17,880
Speaker 1: to not embrace it. I ain't like that shit, still

973
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:20,320
Speaker 1: don't like that ship. My edges are still suffering. I'm

974
01:03:20,360 --> 01:03:22,160
Speaker 1: surprised Janelle was able to give me these two little

975
01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:25,120
Speaker 1: brains here, because baby, the struggle. But what I do

976
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:29,240
Speaker 1: feel is that there comes a point when you realize, Okay,

977
01:03:29,240 --> 01:03:32,200
Speaker 1: I need to get back to something that's recognizable. Right.

978
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:34,720
Speaker 1: Like I said, my husband has been my biggest supporter

979
01:03:34,840 --> 01:03:37,560
Speaker 1: through all this, and it's to the point where sometimes

980
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:39,840
Speaker 1: my goals have become his goals too, that he's so

981
01:03:40,040 --> 01:03:42,760
Speaker 1: invested and he's like, hey, you said you're trying to

982
01:03:42,840 --> 01:03:45,200
Speaker 1: fit into X y Z, So we're gonna go to

983
01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 1: the gym and we're gonna do this together. And you'll

984
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:50,040
Speaker 1: see sometimes he'll post on his Instagram page that he's

985
01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:52,200
Speaker 1: talking about me and my body and my journey because

986
01:03:52,240 --> 01:03:55,080
Speaker 1: that's his way of helping me stay motivated. And I

987
01:03:55,200 --> 01:03:57,680
Speaker 1: feel seen, right, I don't feel like someone is just

988
01:03:57,760 --> 01:04:00,840
Speaker 1: disregarding how I feel. So Devo has really made it

989
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:02,520
Speaker 1: a point to just go with me to the gym.

990
01:04:02,960 --> 01:04:04,919
Speaker 1: You know, he's like, Hey, whatever you gotta eat, I'm

991
01:04:04,960 --> 01:04:07,200
Speaker 1: gonna eat too, So you're not making two separate meals.

992
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:10,520
Speaker 1: Whatever it looks like for me, it looks like for him.

993
01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:12,480
Speaker 1: So that's been an amazing journey to be on with

994
01:04:12,680 --> 01:04:15,680
Speaker 1: him because he so desperately wants me to be happy

995
01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:19,919
Speaker 1: with myself again talk about it. So thank you, sir.

996
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:24,480
Speaker 1: This is a topic that I really love to speak

997
01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:29,280
Speaker 1: on because after having Jackson. I don't know if will

998
01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:30,720
Speaker 1: you guys listen to the podcast, but you know, we

999
01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:34,160
Speaker 1: almost lost k after Jackson. She had to have emergency surgery.

1000
01:04:34,280 --> 01:04:37,160
Speaker 1: She had a lacerated survex, and my wife almost died.

1001
01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 1: At that point, it became real to me how important

1002
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:45,880
Speaker 1: childbirth is, especially Black maternal health. Right, So I took

1003
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:49,480
Speaker 1: it upon myself to learn a lot about black maternal health.

1004
01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:52,160
Speaker 1: And this was the biggest thing. You know, it kills

1005
01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:55,400
Speaker 1: women more than anything else. It's not the stretch marks,

1006
01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:59,760
Speaker 1: it's not the way game, it's sleep deprivation. Listen to this.

1007
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,760
Speaker 1: This is a study that I found, right, the big

1008
01:05:02,880 --> 01:05:07,000
Speaker 1: the greatest, the most disciplined people in the United States,

1009
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:11,560
Speaker 1: right Army rangers, Navy seals, marines, all of the most

1010
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:15,600
Speaker 1: disciplined people, you know what, they take months training training

1011
01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:19,320
Speaker 1: with sleep deprivation. So imagine you have the most disciplined

1012
01:05:19,360 --> 01:05:21,080
Speaker 1: soldier in the world and you got to take months

1013
01:05:21,120 --> 01:05:23,320
Speaker 1: to train him for sleep deprivation. But then you have

1014
01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:26,440
Speaker 1: a woman who has to deal with sleep deprivation, and

1015
01:05:26,520 --> 01:05:30,360
Speaker 1: we just expect him to come back normal. Right, And

1016
01:05:30,720 --> 01:05:34,520
Speaker 1: here's the thing. Sleep deprivation doesn't doesn't start and stop

1017
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:38,640
Speaker 1: at any particular time. Codeine and her third trimester couldn't sleep.

1018
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:41,520
Speaker 1: So that's three months of not sleeping, right, I thought,

1019
01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:44,480
Speaker 1: And I'm going to be honest and transparent here. I thought,

1020
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:47,000
Speaker 1: as soon as the baby comes out, we get back

1021
01:05:47,040 --> 01:05:49,480
Speaker 1: to normal. That's what I thought. I was twenty seven

1022
01:05:49,520 --> 01:05:51,520
Speaker 1: when we had our first son, and I was just like,

1023
01:05:51,600 --> 01:05:53,240
Speaker 1: what's the matter, Like why, why are you not back

1024
01:05:53,280 --> 01:05:55,480
Speaker 1: to normal? Why are you not back to yourself? Then

1025
01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:58,400
Speaker 1: I started researching about breastfeeding. Right, if you breastfeed six

1026
01:05:58,480 --> 01:06:00,920
Speaker 1: months to nine months, you wake up every two and

1027
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:03,320
Speaker 1: a half hours, and during those two hours when you sleep,

1028
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:06,080
Speaker 1: you don't sleep soundly because you're worried about missing the

1029
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:10,200
Speaker 1: baby crying. Right, So now you spend three months pregnant

1030
01:06:10,440 --> 01:06:14,520
Speaker 1: not sleeping, six to nine months, breastfeeding, not sleeping, and

1031
01:06:14,640 --> 01:06:16,560
Speaker 1: then after that your husband is on you like yo,

1032
01:06:16,840 --> 01:06:19,200
Speaker 1: we got to get back to who we were. I

1033
01:06:19,360 --> 01:06:22,240
Speaker 1: started to give my wife grace right and I said,

1034
01:06:22,280 --> 01:06:25,680
Speaker 1: you know what, during this time, whatever you need to

1035
01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:29,080
Speaker 1: help you become sane, I got you. On top of that,

1036
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:31,400
Speaker 1: I notice is not a very popular thing. I moved

1037
01:06:31,440 --> 01:06:34,360
Speaker 1: my mother in law in with us, And the reason

1038
01:06:34,440 --> 01:06:37,160
Speaker 1: why I did that is because there's nothing better than

1039
01:06:37,240 --> 01:06:40,760
Speaker 1: watching your wife's sleep and having your mom's mom take

1040
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:43,960
Speaker 1: care of your children. Because I can't do it the

1041
01:06:44,040 --> 01:06:46,400
Speaker 1: way she does it. But if my mom's mom can

1042
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:48,000
Speaker 1: come in and grab my son and take them for

1043
01:06:48,040 --> 01:06:50,240
Speaker 1: a few hours so she can get sleep, it allows

1044
01:06:50,280 --> 01:06:52,000
Speaker 1: her to get more energy. It allows her to go

1045
01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:55,120
Speaker 1: back to herself mentally. When she gets back to herself mentally,

1046
01:06:55,160 --> 01:06:56,800
Speaker 1: you know what that allows her to do. I'm ready

1047
01:06:56,840 --> 01:06:59,760
Speaker 1: to get back in the gym. I'm ready to have sex,

1048
01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:03,040
Speaker 1: I'm ready to start making food. I'm ready to look better.

1049
01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:05,480
Speaker 1: But it takes a sacrifice from us as men to

1050
01:07:05,640 --> 01:07:08,520
Speaker 1: realize what women are going through during that time so

1051
01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:11,320
Speaker 1: that we can be an advocate for them and empower them.

1052
01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:15,920
Speaker 1: It's the truth, no them and about that. I can

1053
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:20,080
Speaker 1: speak about this now with thirty eight, but at twenty

1054
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:23,320
Speaker 1: seven I was fucked up in the game. I'll never

1055
01:07:23,440 --> 01:07:27,720
Speaker 1: forget it was five weeks and four days. I was like,

1056
01:07:28,640 --> 01:07:31,360
Speaker 1: I was like, heaby, as soon as that six week come,

1057
01:07:31,400 --> 01:07:33,320
Speaker 1: I'm ready to get back in the game. And she

1058
01:07:33,520 --> 01:07:36,560
Speaker 1: was looking at me like, bro, I don't got time.

1059
01:07:36,760 --> 01:07:38,720
Speaker 1: And I literally said this to her, right, I literally

1060
01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:41,480
Speaker 1: said this to her. Your mom had kids and worked.

1061
01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:43,959
Speaker 1: My mom had kids, it worked. Why are you acting

1062
01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:47,200
Speaker 1: like it's such a big deal. And the reason why

1063
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:49,200
Speaker 1: I'm telling you that is because if you're sitting next

1064
01:07:49,240 --> 01:07:52,240
Speaker 1: to a man who doesn't understand what you're going through,

1065
01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:54,520
Speaker 1: don't treat it as if your man is the worst

1066
01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:57,080
Speaker 1: guy ever. Because that same guy who said that to

1067
01:07:57,200 --> 01:07:59,040
Speaker 1: you is the same guy that's sitting next to her.

1068
01:07:59,440 --> 01:08:01,960
Speaker 1: It took me having to learn and research and understand

1069
01:08:02,640 --> 01:08:04,920
Speaker 1: why I had to give my wife grace because I

1070
01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:06,560
Speaker 1: don't want to sit up here and act like I'm

1071
01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:09,480
Speaker 1: the most profound person. And I had this figured out

1072
01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:12,760
Speaker 1: at eighteen. I wasn't. I wasn't. I got coached out

1073
01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:15,400
Speaker 1: plenty of times by this one. Right here, y'all think

1074
01:08:15,480 --> 01:08:20,720
Speaker 1: my mouth is bad see postpartum K, postpartum K be

1075
01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:22,000
Speaker 1: letting me have it. And I used to be like,

1076
01:08:22,080 --> 01:08:25,040
Speaker 1: I don't know who you are anymore. You are an alien.

1077
01:08:25,760 --> 01:08:28,080
Speaker 1: I don't want to have no more kids because you create.

1078
01:08:28,200 --> 01:08:30,400
Speaker 1: The first five years of our marriage was a struggle,

1079
01:08:30,439 --> 01:08:31,880
Speaker 1: and we talking about it in the book talk about

1080
01:08:31,880 --> 01:08:34,280
Speaker 1: it a lot of it too. It was but um

1081
01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:38,080
Speaker 1: to answer your question, I just educated myself on what

1082
01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:41,000
Speaker 1: she needed as a woman, and then I empower her

1083
01:08:41,080 --> 01:08:43,680
Speaker 1: when she needs it. I stopped forcing her to do

1084
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:45,439
Speaker 1: things she didn't want to do because I thought it

1085
01:08:45,520 --> 01:08:47,920
Speaker 1: was in her best interest. I started asking questions, well,

1086
01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:50,040
Speaker 1: how you feel today? You know what I'm saying. You

1087
01:08:50,080 --> 01:08:52,320
Speaker 1: don't feel like going to the gym. I'm right, let's

1088
01:08:52,360 --> 01:08:54,719
Speaker 1: work out in the house. Can you give me fifteen minutes?

1089
01:08:54,840 --> 01:08:57,200
Speaker 1: Because realistically, you don't have to do an hour, hour

1090
01:08:57,200 --> 01:08:58,920
Speaker 1: and a half every day to get back in shape.

1091
01:08:59,320 --> 01:09:02,599
Speaker 1: Do fifteen minutes every day. And when I say fifteen minutes,

1092
01:09:02,600 --> 01:09:05,800
Speaker 1: I don't even mean fifteen minutes high intensity. No get

1093
01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:09,160
Speaker 1: up and walk together. We lost out fifteen minutes walk together.

1094
01:09:10,080 --> 01:09:12,519
Speaker 1: Do that every single day and watch how your body changes,

1095
01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:14,960
Speaker 1: watch how your mind changes, and watch how the love

1096
01:09:15,080 --> 01:09:18,439
Speaker 1: grows and the intimacy grows because we talk about sex

1097
01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:21,680
Speaker 1: a lot, but sex is an intimacy to us. Intimacy

1098
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:24,720
Speaker 1: is the time we spend together learning each other. How

1099
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:26,920
Speaker 1: many times we've gone on dates and talked about what

1100
01:09:27,000 --> 01:09:29,759
Speaker 1: our dreams are gonna be. That to me is the intimacy.

1101
01:09:29,840 --> 01:09:32,040
Speaker 1: So when we get back in the house, we've discussed

1102
01:09:32,080 --> 01:09:34,600
Speaker 1: our dreams. So now we're horny because we discuss how

1103
01:09:34,640 --> 01:09:36,720
Speaker 1: we're gonna make this money. You know what I'm saying.

1104
01:09:37,120 --> 01:09:39,920
Speaker 1: You talk money in front of a chick. Money. She's like, oh, yes, daddy,

1105
01:09:40,520 --> 01:09:45,040
Speaker 1: I see bands will make a dance you feel me?

1106
01:09:45,520 --> 01:09:48,559
Speaker 1: So that's how I really got her back to being herself.

1107
01:09:48,720 --> 01:09:51,880
Speaker 1: Was empowering her, but educating myself on on women's health.

1108
01:09:52,080 --> 01:09:57,240
Speaker 1: For sure. We have another question here? Where are we? Hello?

1109
01:09:58,600 --> 01:10:03,320
Speaker 1: I me my boyfriend. We would make ten years this year.

1110
01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:09,439
Speaker 1: We just I just had a little sun congratulations, thank you? Um,

1111
01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:13,640
Speaker 1: so he says he wants to marry me. So my

1112
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:17,519
Speaker 1: question is would I be wrong to leave if I

1113
01:10:17,600 --> 01:10:22,320
Speaker 1: don't get my rings? What happened? I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

1114
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:26,799
Speaker 1: I said congratulations to ten years and I heard murmurs

1115
01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:30,040
Speaker 1: over here. Did I miss something? We'll make ten years

1116
01:10:30,120 --> 01:10:32,920
Speaker 1: this year. Okay, congratulations on the ten years. I got

1117
01:10:32,960 --> 01:10:35,960
Speaker 1: you on that. But you want to leave? Yes? Would

1118
01:10:35,960 --> 01:10:40,240
Speaker 1: I'd be wrong if I don't get my ring this year? Yes,

1119
01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:43,960
Speaker 1: her hair? No, I can't, I can't. I still can't.

1120
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:50,280
Speaker 1: I still can't hear what she's saying. They've been together

1121
01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:55,880
Speaker 1: for ten years? Oh wait, wait, wait the friend wants

1122
01:10:55,920 --> 01:10:59,320
Speaker 1: to add something. Hold on, Okay, y'all, they've been dating

1123
01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:02,240
Speaker 1: since they was like what freshman in high school? Okay,

1124
01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:05,559
Speaker 1: maybe in dating for a ten years? Okay, she wants

1125
01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:07,800
Speaker 1: to get married. She's saying, well, she'd be wrong if

1126
01:11:07,840 --> 01:11:09,880
Speaker 1: he don't propose this year, if she was to leave.

1127
01:11:13,680 --> 01:11:16,360
Speaker 1: And that God, and you said there's a baby, and

1128
01:11:16,560 --> 01:11:21,559
Speaker 1: there's a baby, there's a baby involved? Yes, yo, yo?

1129
01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:24,639
Speaker 1: How old are you? How old are you? How old

1130
01:11:24,680 --> 01:11:28,880
Speaker 1: are you? I'm twenty six, you're twenty six? You twenty six?

1131
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:35,720
Speaker 1: Are y'all telling her to leave this man? Well? Why

1132
01:11:35,800 --> 01:11:37,800
Speaker 1: are we leaving? Though? Why are we leaving? Can we

1133
01:11:37,880 --> 01:11:41,880
Speaker 1: get some insights? I just feel like at this point,

1134
01:11:41,960 --> 01:11:44,120
Speaker 1: like am I wasting my time? Like? How much time

1135
01:11:44,160 --> 01:11:47,840
Speaker 1: to be? All right? Y'all? Sorry, y'all I'm about to

1136
01:11:47,960 --> 01:11:51,880
Speaker 1: go ahead because I'm tired of this. Oh no, no, no,

1137
01:11:52,200 --> 01:11:54,519
Speaker 1: let me let me ask a question. Hold on, hold on,

1138
01:11:54,880 --> 01:11:57,639
Speaker 1: let me ask a question. All these women, right, all

1139
01:11:57,720 --> 01:12:01,240
Speaker 1: these women saying saying she should leave when it's time

1140
01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:05,120
Speaker 1: to get engaged, what do you bring? Do you get

1141
01:12:05,160 --> 01:12:08,040
Speaker 1: on your knee and bring a ring? Do you have

1142
01:12:08,160 --> 01:12:11,040
Speaker 1: to spend ten to hold on? Hold on? No, no, no,

1143
01:12:11,200 --> 01:12:18,120
Speaker 1: let me finish, Let me finish. No, no, no, I know,

1144
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:21,080
Speaker 1: I gotta say this. My leg don't hurt no more.

1145
01:12:21,160 --> 01:12:26,360
Speaker 1: My leg is good. I'm I'm it was that symbol. Listen, No,

1146
01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:29,960
Speaker 1: this is this is why it is so difficult for me.

1147
01:12:30,720 --> 01:12:34,439
Speaker 1: I am passionate. It is so difficult for men to commit. Right,

1148
01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:38,640
Speaker 1: this is why women women come for And I'll use

1149
01:12:38,720 --> 01:12:45,000
Speaker 1: k as an example. When when when when on hold,

1150
01:12:45,560 --> 01:12:48,920
Speaker 1: when Kay was ready to get married, right, she used

1151
01:12:48,960 --> 01:12:51,800
Speaker 1: to leave rings all over the house that she likes, right,

1152
01:12:52,520 --> 01:12:56,439
Speaker 1: and these rings three, these rings were two and three

1153
01:12:56,560 --> 01:13:01,439
Speaker 1: carriage right when her sister somebody set period. You know

1154
01:13:01,520 --> 01:13:04,280
Speaker 1: how much a three carried ring costs right now? Thirty

1155
01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:08,320
Speaker 1: thousand dollars minimum for a three carried ring. Right, So

1156
01:13:08,840 --> 01:13:11,280
Speaker 1: you're telling this man, I need to get married right now,

1157
01:13:11,680 --> 01:13:14,120
Speaker 1: you need to go spend thirty thousand dollars on a ring,

1158
01:13:14,479 --> 01:13:17,400
Speaker 1: or on top of that, wait wait wait, wait, no, no, no,

1159
01:13:18,200 --> 01:13:22,120
Speaker 1: let me finish, Let me finish. On top of that,

1160
01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:24,960
Speaker 1: it has to happen with all my friends there. You

1161
01:13:25,040 --> 01:13:28,240
Speaker 1: gotta fly us to Paris. You gotta get a video prove,

1162
01:13:28,800 --> 01:13:32,000
Speaker 1: you gotta get pictures, which is another thirty to forty

1163
01:13:32,040 --> 01:13:35,240
Speaker 1: thousand dollars, and then you gotta pay for the wedding,

1164
01:13:35,240 --> 01:13:37,240
Speaker 1: because I need a wedding like Kim Kardashian or where

1165
01:13:37,280 --> 01:13:40,280
Speaker 1: it was. So now, what you're telling this young man, no,

1166
01:13:40,400 --> 01:13:43,360
Speaker 1: this is true. What you're telling this young man is

1167
01:13:43,400 --> 01:13:46,600
Speaker 1: that it's gonna cost you sixty seventy thousand dollars to

1168
01:13:46,720 --> 01:13:48,599
Speaker 1: get on the ring and propose to me. And if

1169
01:13:48,680 --> 01:13:51,759
Speaker 1: you don't do that in my time, I'm leaving once again.

1170
01:13:52,160 --> 01:13:55,719
Speaker 1: Once again. What are you bringing? If he's bringing sixty

1171
01:13:55,760 --> 01:14:11,360
Speaker 1: thousand dollars? Whop, priceless If you ask me, No, nobody

1172
01:14:11,439 --> 01:14:14,920
Speaker 1: ever wants to say that. Nobody, nobody ever wants to

1173
01:14:15,040 --> 01:14:21,360
Speaker 1: say this. But no, listen stop. Nobody ever wants nobody

1174
01:14:21,479 --> 01:14:28,960
Speaker 1: say nobody thank you, thank you. That's true. No one

1175
01:14:29,040 --> 01:14:31,680
Speaker 1: ever wants to say this at twenty six. Show me

1176
01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:34,200
Speaker 1: a twenty six year old black man right now that

1177
01:14:34,360 --> 01:14:37,360
Speaker 1: got sixty thousand dollars to get on his knee and

1178
01:14:37,520 --> 01:14:41,360
Speaker 1: ask a woman to marry made me want But she

1179
01:14:41,439 --> 01:14:44,160
Speaker 1: didn't say she needed all of that. No, I don't

1180
01:14:44,280 --> 01:14:48,839
Speaker 1: need all that. She didn't say she wanted all of that. Okay, Okay,

1181
01:14:49,920 --> 01:14:53,000
Speaker 1: she couldn't want to go to the courts. Okay, she

1182
01:14:53,120 --> 01:14:57,000
Speaker 1: could be passing down her granny's ring. Nae, it can't

1183
01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,760
Speaker 1: be a lot of situations if we're doing dead ass,

1184
01:15:00,160 --> 01:15:02,880
Speaker 1: can we do that ass for real? If this is

1185
01:15:02,960 --> 01:15:08,479
Speaker 1: dead ass for real? I need I need someone to

1186
01:15:08,640 --> 01:15:11,360
Speaker 1: tell me how a twenty six year old young man

1187
01:15:11,760 --> 01:15:14,920
Speaker 1: is supposed to find twenty six thousand dollars to invest

1188
01:15:15,040 --> 01:15:18,040
Speaker 1: in a one time moment, but and and hold on

1189
01:15:18,320 --> 01:15:21,400
Speaker 1: and still have money to be able to create a lifestyle.

1190
01:15:26,400 --> 01:15:33,000
Speaker 1: Can you give us context? Look at it? That's America ring?

1191
01:15:33,760 --> 01:15:37,479
Speaker 1: Is that a Houston? Oh do you want a Plaza

1192
01:15:37,880 --> 01:15:42,280
Speaker 1: America ring? Is that something from Houston? Yeah? Plaza American ring?

1193
01:15:42,439 --> 01:15:45,200
Speaker 1: Is that what she hold on? She's here, she's here,

1194
01:15:45,600 --> 01:15:47,680
Speaker 1: Let's hear her, let's hear her. Let's not her? I

1195
01:15:47,760 --> 01:15:50,559
Speaker 1: want to hear No, I don't. All right, let's let's

1196
01:15:50,600 --> 01:15:52,280
Speaker 1: keep it down so we can hear her follow up

1197
01:15:52,320 --> 01:15:57,160
Speaker 1: to the vows rant over here, Right, Okay, I don't

1198
01:15:57,200 --> 01:15:59,439
Speaker 1: want that that type of ring, but I do want

1199
01:15:59,439 --> 01:16:01,720
Speaker 1: a nice ring. I just want something simple, like, you know,

1200
01:16:01,920 --> 01:16:04,960
Speaker 1: very intimate. But it's not about the ring. But it's

1201
01:16:05,000 --> 01:16:07,160
Speaker 1: really it's really not about that. She says she wants

1202
01:16:07,160 --> 01:16:12,360
Speaker 1: something simple. No, not just want something simple, So now

1203
01:16:12,560 --> 01:16:17,680
Speaker 1: now stop me. I feel like, um, yeah, it's more

1204
01:16:17,720 --> 01:16:21,920
Speaker 1: so a commitment. And then also like I feel like

1205
01:16:22,240 --> 01:16:24,880
Speaker 1: what would be different if it was to get married?

1206
01:16:24,920 --> 01:16:29,439
Speaker 1: So I'm gonnak so I'm gonna answer. I'm gonna answer

1207
01:16:29,479 --> 01:16:32,840
Speaker 1: the questions. I'm gonna answer the question comment not just

1208
01:16:33,120 --> 01:16:35,519
Speaker 1: I'm trying to answer the question. Can I answer the question?

1209
01:16:36,080 --> 01:16:39,280
Speaker 1: Can I answer the question? This? This is this is

1210
01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:43,040
Speaker 1: one of the biggest problems that I found with young people. Right,

1211
01:16:43,439 --> 01:16:46,080
Speaker 1: we found this with us when it came to marriage

1212
01:16:46,160 --> 01:16:50,240
Speaker 1: Codean was concerned about the wedding. I was concerned about

1213
01:16:50,280 --> 01:16:54,759
Speaker 1: the marriage after we got married. I'm responsible to provide

1214
01:16:54,800 --> 01:16:57,920
Speaker 1: the lifestyle for my family and my wife, asked Kadean

1215
01:16:58,240 --> 01:17:01,559
Speaker 1: at twenty seven. She was I thinking about the marriage.

1216
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:04,000
Speaker 1: All she thought about was getting the ring she wanted

1217
01:17:04,080 --> 01:17:06,000
Speaker 1: and the wedding she wanted because I thought the marriage

1218
01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:09,040
Speaker 1: would happen naturally, right, happily. Ever after then you right

1219
01:17:09,080 --> 01:17:12,200
Speaker 1: off into the sunset. Little did I know the work

1220
01:17:12,280 --> 01:17:15,519
Speaker 1: that was involved in that. And my point is, so

1221
01:17:15,680 --> 01:17:17,960
Speaker 1: many young people and this is not a knock on you,

1222
01:17:18,120 --> 01:17:20,559
Speaker 1: young lady. This is not a knock on you, because

1223
01:17:20,960 --> 01:17:26,680
Speaker 1: somebody very very close to us just got engaged, very

1224
01:17:26,800 --> 01:17:30,960
Speaker 1: very close. And that young lady's also said to her

1225
01:17:31,200 --> 01:17:34,879
Speaker 1: boyfriend at the time, my ring has to be three carriage.

1226
01:17:35,960 --> 01:17:38,479
Speaker 1: My whole family needs to be here, and stop me

1227
01:17:38,520 --> 01:17:41,960
Speaker 1: when I'm lying. He wasn't a professional athlete, he wasn't

1228
01:17:41,960 --> 01:17:45,320
Speaker 1: an entertainer. My whole family needs to be there. I

1229
01:17:45,479 --> 01:17:49,360
Speaker 1: want everything to be instagrammable. So you're asking these young

1230
01:17:49,439 --> 01:17:52,400
Speaker 1: men to be able to buy that before they get

1231
01:17:52,439 --> 01:17:54,439
Speaker 1: on the knee, And then you're wondering, what's taking him

1232
01:17:54,520 --> 01:17:57,439
Speaker 1: so Long's taking him so long as he's trying to

1233
01:17:57,560 --> 01:18:00,200
Speaker 1: find a way to build the type of resume to

1234
01:18:00,240 --> 01:18:02,680
Speaker 1: be able to do that and then take care of

1235
01:18:02,800 --> 01:18:05,680
Speaker 1: you after he's done that. That's what I was stuck with.

1236
01:18:06,680 --> 01:18:08,519
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie to you. I wanted to marry

1237
01:18:08,560 --> 01:18:10,320
Speaker 1: this woman. I was in love with this woman, but

1238
01:18:10,439 --> 01:18:12,639
Speaker 1: she showing me all these rings in these platinum weddings,

1239
01:18:12,640 --> 01:18:15,240
Speaker 1: and I was like, I can't afford that ship right now.

1240
01:18:16,840 --> 01:18:19,280
Speaker 1: It had nothing to due with not loving her, but

1241
01:18:19,479 --> 01:18:21,720
Speaker 1: also my ego was like, I want to give my

1242
01:18:21,880 --> 01:18:25,000
Speaker 1: girl the same thing everybody else girl got. I didn't

1243
01:18:25,040 --> 01:18:27,280
Speaker 1: have that at twenty four. I didn't have it at

1244
01:18:27,320 --> 01:18:29,559
Speaker 1: twenty five. I had to wait until I could get

1245
01:18:29,600 --> 01:18:32,200
Speaker 1: it before I could propose. But even Kay gave me

1246
01:18:32,280 --> 01:18:35,800
Speaker 1: an ultimatum. And I'm saying, and I said this to

1247
01:18:35,920 --> 01:18:38,760
Speaker 1: her later on in life. I didn't say to her

1248
01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:40,560
Speaker 1: then because I wasn't thinking about it, but I was like,

1249
01:18:41,479 --> 01:18:44,720
Speaker 1: what did you bring to this proposal? If I had

1250
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:47,280
Speaker 1: to bring, if I had to bring sixty thousand dollars,

1251
01:18:48,160 --> 01:18:50,960
Speaker 1: what did you bring? No one has given me an

1252
01:18:51,000 --> 01:18:53,600
Speaker 1: answer yet of what the ladies are gonna bring, or

1253
01:19:02,439 --> 01:19:06,800
Speaker 1: I think also too, So what are you looking for

1254
01:19:06,880 --> 01:19:09,880
Speaker 1: a woman to propose? No, I'm not looking for women. No,

1255
01:19:10,120 --> 01:19:12,639
Speaker 1: I'm not looking for women to propose. But what I'm

1256
01:19:12,680 --> 01:19:15,639
Speaker 1: looking for is to women, for women to have empathy

1257
01:19:16,120 --> 01:19:18,479
Speaker 1: for the young men that you're dating and understand that

1258
01:19:18,640 --> 01:19:21,439
Speaker 1: it's not that easy for us to just say I'm

1259
01:19:21,479 --> 01:19:24,680
Speaker 1: gonna just get all this money now, big age. Yes,

1260
01:19:24,800 --> 01:19:26,920
Speaker 1: at the time, I didn't see it. At the time.

1261
01:19:27,080 --> 01:19:31,200
Speaker 1: After dating for eight years, I felt like I needed

1262
01:19:31,240 --> 01:19:32,920
Speaker 1: to know where things were going. We were dating for

1263
01:19:33,000 --> 01:19:35,120
Speaker 1: eight years, and us women, we tend to have a

1264
01:19:35,200 --> 01:19:37,960
Speaker 1: checklist in our mind of things that we should accomplish

1265
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:39,639
Speaker 1: at a certain age. So I get that if you're

1266
01:19:39,640 --> 01:19:41,679
Speaker 1: at twenty six, you're thinking, like, man, we've been together

1267
01:19:41,760 --> 01:19:45,519
Speaker 1: for ten years, what's next? You know, you're checking things

1268
01:19:45,600 --> 01:19:47,320
Speaker 1: off your list. Little did I know that the list

1269
01:19:47,720 --> 01:19:50,040
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily have to pan out the way you're thinking.

1270
01:19:50,200 --> 01:19:53,040
Speaker 1: Is you know, I hear murmurs, but no one's telling

1271
01:19:53,120 --> 01:19:56,360
Speaker 1: me what the woman is bringing to the engagement. Okay,

1272
01:19:56,479 --> 01:20:01,720
Speaker 1: let me hear, let me hear, let's let's hear. My

1273
01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:04,240
Speaker 1: question is this. Have you ever had a moment where

1274
01:20:04,360 --> 01:20:06,240
Speaker 1: you could have been locked up and she was there

1275
01:20:06,320 --> 01:20:08,840
Speaker 1: for you? A moment where I could have been locked up,

1276
01:20:09,320 --> 01:20:11,639
Speaker 1: been locked up and she was there for you. Why

1277
01:20:11,640 --> 01:20:16,400
Speaker 1: I gotta be jailed? I'm like that. I'm not saying

1278
01:20:16,600 --> 01:20:19,680
Speaker 1: you couldn't even be a moment where you was where

1279
01:20:19,720 --> 01:20:23,759
Speaker 1: you was a hot temper. Can't nobody else break your temper?

1280
01:20:23,920 --> 01:20:25,840
Speaker 1: But if she got in front of you, she could

1281
01:20:25,880 --> 01:20:36,479
Speaker 1: break your temper. That's emotional support. That's happened. That's happened. Baby.

1282
01:20:36,560 --> 01:20:39,559
Speaker 1: Do I give you emotional support? You do so? Since

1283
01:20:39,600 --> 01:20:42,240
Speaker 1: you give me emotional support and I give you emotional support,

1284
01:20:42,280 --> 01:20:45,320
Speaker 1: I gotta think. Come with sixty thousand? Do you not

1285
01:20:45,560 --> 01:20:48,759
Speaker 1: realize it's okay to say the value won't? God, it's okay.

1286
01:20:50,240 --> 01:20:52,200
Speaker 1: She took it to jail. You ever been locked up before?

1287
01:20:53,680 --> 01:21:00,599
Speaker 1: You've been locked up? No, No, we have another question

1288
01:21:00,680 --> 01:21:05,320
Speaker 1: on I don't get what you're saying. I think I

1289
01:21:05,439 --> 01:21:07,720
Speaker 1: see a hand raised. I'm interested to see what this

1290
01:21:07,800 --> 01:21:10,360
Speaker 1: young lady has to think. I think I'm the only

1291
01:21:10,439 --> 01:21:14,719
Speaker 1: guy that stood up here from gentlemen, Yes, I didn't

1292
01:21:14,720 --> 01:21:18,559
Speaker 1: even know who y'all were. First off? Another one, thanks

1293
01:21:18,560 --> 01:21:22,360
Speaker 1: for coming here, right, Yeah you know what I mean?

1294
01:21:22,600 --> 01:21:25,439
Speaker 1: And and so yeah, I'm a barber in Houston. Everybody

1295
01:21:25,520 --> 01:21:28,880
Speaker 1: know me. Uh but uh no, I just good. I'm

1296
01:21:28,880 --> 01:21:31,240
Speaker 1: just good for real. I got a real question. I

1297
01:21:31,280 --> 01:21:35,040
Speaker 1: got a real question though, I have a real questions

1298
01:21:35,080 --> 01:21:39,880
Speaker 1: of success. Uh, how did your wife adapt to your

1299
01:21:39,960 --> 01:21:42,360
Speaker 1: levels of success, especially when you left and have to

1300
01:21:42,439 --> 01:21:44,840
Speaker 1: hit the road for the show and all that stuff,

1301
01:21:45,320 --> 01:21:49,280
Speaker 1: and how difficult was that for both of y'all adapting

1302
01:21:49,320 --> 01:21:51,519
Speaker 1: to level of success. Well, this was always the plan,

1303
01:21:52,520 --> 01:21:56,679
Speaker 1: just so y'all know, and it's it's insane to think

1304
01:21:56,720 --> 01:22:01,519
Speaker 1: about it. But literally, in October celebrated twenty years since

1305
01:22:01,560 --> 01:22:07,519
Speaker 1: our first date, right, and I literally looked at the

1306
01:22:07,600 --> 01:22:11,759
Speaker 1: val with like tears in my eyes, maybe a week prior,

1307
01:22:12,360 --> 01:22:15,080
Speaker 1: and I was like, do you understand how significant this

1308
01:22:15,280 --> 01:22:17,479
Speaker 1: anniversary is coming up? Not the fact that we had

1309
01:22:17,520 --> 01:22:20,720
Speaker 1: made it to two decades, but the fact that when

1310
01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:23,960
Speaker 1: I sat in his dorm room and I was eating

1311
01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:25,920
Speaker 1: the sandwich and we talked about in the book, was

1312
01:22:25,960 --> 01:22:27,680
Speaker 1: eating this sandwich and I was just like, yo, so

1313
01:22:28,560 --> 01:22:29,840
Speaker 1: be in college, Like what do you want to do

1314
01:22:29,880 --> 01:22:32,639
Speaker 1: with your life? And he looked at the television screen

1315
01:22:32,680 --> 01:22:34,479
Speaker 1: and he's like, I want to do that. And Martin

1316
01:22:34,600 --> 01:22:36,320
Speaker 1: was on the television screen and I'm like, oh, you

1317
01:22:36,400 --> 01:22:38,479
Speaker 1: want to be an actor. I was like that's dope.

1318
01:22:38,520 --> 01:22:41,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, how are you gonna do that? And twenty

1319
01:22:41,520 --> 01:22:47,320
Speaker 1: years later he is a working, thriving after y'all. This

1320
01:22:47,640 --> 01:22:52,000
Speaker 1: was always in the plan. The levels of success was

1321
01:22:52,120 --> 01:22:53,880
Speaker 1: always in the plan. We didn't quite know when our

1322
01:22:53,920 --> 01:22:55,800
Speaker 1: season would be, when it would happen, how long it

1323
01:22:55,800 --> 01:22:59,400
Speaker 1: would take, the hardships and the struggles and the obstacles

1324
01:22:59,400 --> 01:23:01,720
Speaker 1: that we were going to have along the way, But

1325
01:23:02,479 --> 01:23:04,600
Speaker 1: this was always in the plan, and I think that

1326
01:23:04,760 --> 01:23:06,880
Speaker 1: makes it so much sweeter now, Like even just having

1327
01:23:06,920 --> 01:23:10,120
Speaker 1: this moment with y'all, like you have no idea. I've

1328
01:23:10,160 --> 01:23:13,800
Speaker 1: been fighting back tears the entire show, even even leading

1329
01:23:13,920 --> 01:23:23,560
Speaker 1: up to thank You, says thank you, that's what I

1330
01:23:23,680 --> 01:23:29,920
Speaker 1: brought to the table. Put a price tag on that.

1331
01:23:32,280 --> 01:23:36,400
Speaker 1: All right. First of all, I'm I'm gonna answer. I'm

1332
01:23:36,400 --> 01:23:38,360
Speaker 1: gonna answer thank you, because I was about to start crying,

1333
01:23:38,400 --> 01:23:40,759
Speaker 1: but that was great. I'm gonna ask you a question

1334
01:23:41,240 --> 01:23:46,320
Speaker 1: because she has always been involved in my dream. Every

1335
01:23:46,360 --> 01:23:49,040
Speaker 1: time I've reached a level of success, it's always been

1336
01:23:49,120 --> 01:23:52,519
Speaker 1: our success. And on top of that, whenever I do something,

1337
01:23:53,000 --> 01:23:55,760
Speaker 1: the producers know, my wife and my kids have to

1338
01:23:55,840 --> 01:23:58,599
Speaker 1: be somewhere off, like that's just what it is. If

1339
01:23:58,640 --> 01:24:01,160
Speaker 1: I'm filming somewhere, if I'm something that's like, hey, my

1340
01:24:01,280 --> 01:24:03,040
Speaker 1: wife is gonna be come by a couple of days,

1341
01:24:03,320 --> 01:24:05,400
Speaker 1: or my kids may come by and it's always okay

1342
01:24:05,800 --> 01:24:08,080
Speaker 1: because I made it clear I can't do this project

1343
01:24:08,200 --> 01:24:10,360
Speaker 1: or I can't be involved in whatever this is if

1344
01:24:10,439 --> 01:24:12,800
Speaker 1: my wife and my kids can't be around. One thing

1345
01:24:12,840 --> 01:24:15,400
Speaker 1: I love more than being up on stage and making

1346
01:24:15,439 --> 01:24:19,160
Speaker 1: people laugh and creating conversations. I love my family. Like

1347
01:24:19,720 --> 01:24:21,880
Speaker 1: when I'm away from my boys for too long, I'm

1348
01:24:21,880 --> 01:24:23,960
Speaker 1: in the worst move. When I'm away from my wife

1349
01:24:23,960 --> 01:24:26,040
Speaker 1: for too long, I'm in an even worst move. So

1350
01:24:26,280 --> 01:24:28,200
Speaker 1: I always make it so that anything I'm a part

1351
01:24:28,280 --> 01:24:31,000
Speaker 1: of is a family affair. This way. The only time

1352
01:24:31,040 --> 01:24:33,080
Speaker 1: that it was a little bit rocky was when I

1353
01:24:33,160 --> 01:24:35,120
Speaker 1: was in the NFL because I can't tell her like

1354
01:24:35,160 --> 01:24:39,680
Speaker 1: my wife's coming to practice, but you can't. But she

1355
01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:41,960
Speaker 1: would get on a flight. She would come every weekend

1356
01:24:42,040 --> 01:24:44,120
Speaker 1: that I had home games in Detroit. If I wasn't

1357
01:24:44,160 --> 01:24:46,759
Speaker 1: traveling somewhere, she would come, and she would make detail.

1358
01:24:47,400 --> 01:24:50,040
Speaker 1: She would always make time to be there for me,

1359
01:24:50,520 --> 01:24:53,240
Speaker 1: not always just emotionally, but also be present because I'm

1360
01:24:53,280 --> 01:24:56,040
Speaker 1: my best self when she's there. So yes, I will

1361
01:24:56,080 --> 01:24:59,120
Speaker 1: say to answer you, that's what she brings. She does

1362
01:24:59,200 --> 01:25:00,600
Speaker 1: bring the fact that she he has a lot of

1363
01:25:00,920 --> 01:25:03,800
Speaker 1: She comes with an emotional security that I feel like

1364
01:25:04,040 --> 01:25:06,800
Speaker 1: Superman when I step out in the world, mainly because

1365
01:25:06,880 --> 01:25:09,599
Speaker 1: whether I fail or not, I know that I got

1366
01:25:09,720 --> 01:25:11,960
Speaker 1: my writer with me. You know how hard it is,

1367
01:25:12,479 --> 01:25:17,639
Speaker 1: like seriously, no, no, no, no, no, you you brought

1368
01:25:17,760 --> 01:25:27,120
Speaker 1: up jail. All of it wasn't quite jail. But she,

1369
01:25:27,920 --> 01:25:30,680
Speaker 1: she has been there for me in ways that I

1370
01:25:30,760 --> 01:25:33,120
Speaker 1: can't even imagine. Because it's hard being a black man

1371
01:25:33,160 --> 01:25:35,800
Speaker 1: out here trying to succeed in all these industries where

1372
01:25:35,800 --> 01:25:39,360
Speaker 1: they don't want us right, But it's easy for me

1373
01:25:39,439 --> 01:25:41,320
Speaker 1: to take a leap and not be afraid to fail

1374
01:25:41,360 --> 01:25:43,720
Speaker 1: because I got my writer. But the only thing I

1375
01:25:43,800 --> 01:25:45,759
Speaker 1: will say to the young lady who asked about leaving,

1376
01:25:46,240 --> 01:25:49,640
Speaker 1: don't block your blessings because things aren't aren't happening on

1377
01:25:49,880 --> 01:25:53,439
Speaker 1: your time, I would say, speak to him and ask

1378
01:25:53,600 --> 01:25:57,400
Speaker 1: him what's taking so long, and if he can eloquently

1379
01:25:57,520 --> 01:26:00,280
Speaker 1: express and articulate to you what's taking him so along,

1380
01:26:00,720 --> 01:26:03,800
Speaker 1: give that man the time and patience to be able

1381
01:26:03,880 --> 01:26:06,559
Speaker 1: to prove to you that he's worth waiting for. When

1382
01:26:06,920 --> 01:26:10,479
Speaker 1: when I first retired, we would broke his shit. I made.

1383
01:26:10,800 --> 01:26:13,000
Speaker 1: I made a ton of money in the NFL, lost

1384
01:26:13,040 --> 01:26:15,439
Speaker 1: it in the stock market because of the recession, lost

1385
01:26:15,479 --> 01:26:18,000
Speaker 1: it in property. Because of the recession, I had nothing.

1386
01:26:19,439 --> 01:26:25,559
Speaker 1: I did everything the right way, but i'd we did.

1387
01:26:26,320 --> 01:26:29,400
Speaker 1: But but I did everything I could the right way

1388
01:26:29,479 --> 01:26:32,320
Speaker 1: financially and still lost a lot of money. Right when

1389
01:26:32,360 --> 01:26:35,519
Speaker 1: I went back home, right, I said, baby, I know,

1390
01:26:35,640 --> 01:26:37,160
Speaker 1: we're not where we want to be. We had three

1391
01:26:37,240 --> 01:26:39,439
Speaker 1: friends in the NFL at the same time. Two of

1392
01:26:39,479 --> 01:26:42,479
Speaker 1: them signed five year, twenty five million dollar contracts. So

1393
01:26:42,680 --> 01:26:44,360
Speaker 1: for me as a man, it was like breaking my

1394
01:26:44,479 --> 01:26:46,600
Speaker 1: ego that we had to move back to my grandmother's

1395
01:26:46,640 --> 01:26:49,720
Speaker 1: apartment where my other friends was buying big mansions. I

1396
01:26:49,840 --> 01:26:52,160
Speaker 1: said to this woman, I said, give me time, and

1397
01:26:52,280 --> 01:26:54,800
Speaker 1: I promise you I will get us back to where

1398
01:26:54,880 --> 01:26:57,080
Speaker 1: we were. And all she ever said to me was

1399
01:26:57,200 --> 01:27:01,040
Speaker 1: I know, But it's that type of patience. It's what

1400
01:27:01,160 --> 01:27:03,479
Speaker 1: you're gonna need for your boyfriend if you feel like

1401
01:27:03,680 --> 01:27:07,320
Speaker 1: he's the one worth waiting for. That's the conversation. Don't

1402
01:27:07,360 --> 01:27:10,800
Speaker 1: listen to nobody else tell you to leave that man.

1403
01:27:11,200 --> 01:27:15,240
Speaker 1: Not even do that. Don't do that. Yes, it's only

1404
01:27:15,360 --> 01:27:17,880
Speaker 1: up to you and him. Have a conversation with him

1405
01:27:17,920 --> 01:27:20,200
Speaker 1: and find out what his plan is. Because I always

1406
01:27:20,240 --> 01:27:22,320
Speaker 1: told Kadem what the plan was That's the one thing

1407
01:27:22,439 --> 01:27:24,880
Speaker 1: were as clear about. There was always a plan. We

1408
01:27:24,960 --> 01:27:27,519
Speaker 1: weren't over here freestyle and this stuff was just freestyle

1409
01:27:27,560 --> 01:27:29,000
Speaker 1: and trying to figure it out as we go. No,

1410
01:27:29,120 --> 01:27:32,640
Speaker 1: we've had very specific, very deliberate plans. And we like

1411
01:27:32,720 --> 01:27:35,439
Speaker 1: to say marriage is like one never ending conversation because

1412
01:27:35,600 --> 01:27:38,240
Speaker 1: any idea that might have come to the vow's mind,

1413
01:27:38,240 --> 01:27:40,680
Speaker 1: because he's the creative, innovative one, he'd be like, Hey,

1414
01:27:40,720 --> 01:27:42,799
Speaker 1: I think we should do this, and I'm like, okay,

1415
01:27:43,040 --> 01:27:46,960
Speaker 1: so how are we gonna do it? We had and

1416
01:27:47,000 --> 01:27:49,280
Speaker 1: paper pros and cons and we figure things out and

1417
01:27:49,360 --> 01:27:52,040
Speaker 1: we've always done it together. Some call it a cold dependency,

1418
01:27:52,360 --> 01:27:55,080
Speaker 1: some call it a partnership. This is just my best friend, y'all.

1419
01:27:55,720 --> 01:27:58,400
Speaker 1: And that's what makes moments like this so much sweeter

1420
01:27:58,800 --> 01:28:04,000
Speaker 1: because this has been twenty for us. Now. I've been

1421
01:28:04,080 --> 01:28:06,880
Speaker 1: told by a ton of people that I'm the greatest

1422
01:28:06,960 --> 01:28:09,920
Speaker 1: manifesto that they've ever met because I spoke what my

1423
01:28:10,000 --> 01:28:11,760
Speaker 1: life was going to be. I got the woman I wanted,

1424
01:28:11,960 --> 01:28:13,640
Speaker 1: I got the career I wanted, and I'm doing it

1425
01:28:13,760 --> 01:28:16,360
Speaker 1: with all of my friends. I want to pass that

1426
01:28:16,479 --> 01:28:18,519
Speaker 1: on to you. Close your eyes and think about this.

1427
01:28:18,680 --> 01:28:21,320
Speaker 1: I want you to dream about the biggest dream that

1428
01:28:21,360 --> 01:28:24,240
Speaker 1: you've ever had in your life. See yourself doing it,

1429
01:28:24,320 --> 01:28:27,479
Speaker 1: whether it's writing a book, being in a movie, making

1430
01:28:27,520 --> 01:28:31,400
Speaker 1: a million dollars, being the greatest actor at whatever it is.

1431
01:28:31,439 --> 01:28:33,160
Speaker 1: I want you to dream it and see it right now.

1432
01:28:33,240 --> 01:28:37,000
Speaker 1: Do you see it. Believe that it's yours, because it's

1433
01:28:37,000 --> 01:28:41,880
Speaker 1: already been done. I open your eyes, that dream is yours.

1434
01:28:43,000 --> 01:28:45,519
Speaker 1: Don't let nobody else project on you that you can't

1435
01:28:45,560 --> 01:28:48,000
Speaker 1: have it, because it's already happened. If you've seen it,

1436
01:28:48,400 --> 01:28:50,880
Speaker 1: when you close your eyes, that means it's already happened.

1437
01:28:51,320 --> 01:29:00,400
Speaker 1: Own it and grab it. Dead Ass is a production

1438
01:29:00,439 --> 01:29:04,160
Speaker 1: of iHeartMedia podcast network and is produced by Dinorapinia and

1439
01:29:04,439 --> 01:29:07,439
Speaker 1: Triple Follow the podcast on social media at dead as

1440
01:29:07,560 --> 01:29:09,200
Speaker 1: the podcasts and Never Miss a Thing.