Speaker 1: Hi. I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,
Speaker 1: and speaker.
Speaker 2: And I'm Sarah hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer,
Speaker 2: and course creator. We are two working parents who love
Speaker 2: our careers and our families.
Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about
Speaker 1: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun,
Speaker 1: from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals.
Speaker 1: We want you to get the most out of life.
Speaker 1: Welcome the best of both worlds. This is Laura. This
Speaker 1: episode is l airing in late November of twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1: This is going to be our all Things Holiday episode,
Speaker 1: something of an annual tradition at this point, just as
Speaker 1: many things are traditions. With the holidays airing right before
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving in the United States, So if you are celebrate that,
Speaker 1: we wish you a very happy Thanksgiving. Sarah, what is
Speaker 1: the basic scaffolding of your holiday season this year? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So, and I'm envisioning everyone listening to this, like while
Speaker 2: they're on a long drive or I don't know, preparing
Speaker 2: to get on a plane or something. We are doing
Speaker 2: Thanksgiving in Philadelphia this year because my parents are celebrating
Speaker 2: their fiftieth anniversary wedding anniversary, And this is kind of
Speaker 2: a big deal for us because we do Thanksgiving in
Speaker 2: Miami Beach pretty much always. We even used to fly
Speaker 2: down to Miami Beach when we lived in North Carolina.
Speaker 2: It's a really, really big holiday in my husband's family,
Speaker 2: and I usually balanced that out by then during winter
Speaker 2: break doing something closer to Philadelphia. So this is like
Speaker 2: a departure or from routine. But I'm excited about it,
Speaker 2: and we gave them lots of warning, the Miami clan
Speaker 2: that we would not be here, so kind of excited
Speaker 2: for it.
Speaker 1: What about you guys, Yeah, well, we usually get together
Speaker 1: with my extended family over Thanksgiving. One chunk of that
Speaker 1: family is doing sort of what you are doing. They're
Speaker 1: going elsewhere for Thanksgiving, which means that they won't be available,
Speaker 1: and so I will probably be posting a smaller Thanksgiving
Speaker 1: this year. But I am planning on cooking as this
Speaker 1: is airing, and do the turkey and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: You know, we'd be around for much of December. We're
Speaker 1: going to go away for a few days after Christmas,
Speaker 1: and you guys are going away over the Christmas time too, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and this was kind of like took us a
Speaker 2: long time to decide. This was not one of those
Speaker 2: trips like I feel like we usually tend to plan
Speaker 2: our big vacation trips many months in advance and kind
Speaker 2: of have it slated. But we made a pretty impromptu
Speaker 2: decision around October to go back to Big Sky and
Speaker 2: ski again. So super super excited about that. The kids
Speaker 2: have two weeks off for winter break, and they have
Speaker 2: a full week off for Thanksgiving, which I understand is
Speaker 2: not the case with you. Correct.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, and even worse, we have a bunch of
Speaker 1: like half days for some of the kids, So it's
Speaker 1: just like the worst, I mean, two half days or whatever.
Speaker 1: Just give people the week. I don't know, but then
Speaker 1: I understand it's harder to get to your required one
Speaker 1: hundred and eighty days or all that. But two weeks
Speaker 1: off over Christmas is kind of a long time. We
Speaker 1: had slightly longer than we normally did, and so in
Speaker 1: my mind, originally I thought we were going to go
Speaker 1: somewhere far away for Christmas. But yeah, it didn't seem
Speaker 1: like a great thing. Some of the kids want to
Speaker 1: be home for Christmas, I mean and there is nice
Speaker 1: things to being home for Christmas in terms of doing
Speaker 1: the same things that you always do and having those traditions.
Speaker 1: So we're only going away for a couple of days,
Speaker 1: even though we have about a week and a half off.
Speaker 1: But I mean, you're trying to get some work done
Speaker 1: during at least one of those weeks of the holiday break,
Speaker 1: aren't you. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean I am blowing through a ton of PTO
Speaker 2: at my clinical job, which I also did last year,
Speaker 2: but I did the calculation and I seem to have
Speaker 2: it to spare. So my plan is to really have
Speaker 2: like a family centered week of traveling and then a
Speaker 2: me centered week of getting work done. Thing is, I
Speaker 2: am not sure what I'm doing with the kids for
Speaker 2: that work centered week because my husband's going to be
Speaker 2: on call, and so I do need to figure that
Speaker 2: out because I need to get writing done. I want
Speaker 2: to do some planning type stuff, and I have the
Speaker 2: idea of maybe like they'll leave me alone for a
Speaker 2: few hours per day, But I Laura is like shaking
Speaker 2: her head because she's probably right. It's going to be
Speaker 2: really disjointed and rough, and someone's going to be asking
Speaker 2: for something every twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like, if you need the focus mental space
Speaker 1: to work, I think they need to be elsewhere because otherwise, yeah,
Speaker 1: even if they're playing video games all afternoon, they may
Speaker 1: stop at some point for something, and then you're going
Speaker 1: to feel bad about like yelling at them to get
Speaker 1: out of your closet where you do your work. And
Speaker 1: you also just having the knowing, like sitting down at
Speaker 1: eight o'clock that you have until five o'clock to work
Speaker 1: is often good for getting yourself in the feeling of
Speaker 1: being productive as opposed to like, Okay, I'm trying to
Speaker 1: grab twenty minutes here before anyone needs me and all that.
Speaker 2: I never feel like I have eight to five to
Speaker 2: work on anything ever, So I don't even necessarily feel
Speaker 2: like I need a full day, but I need like
Speaker 2: a solid half day. I need like a three four
Speaker 2: hour concentrated stretch. So maybe there'll be some camps that
Speaker 2: I have to look into.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think that would be wise. I think
Speaker 1: it would be wise. Well, so Sarah did kind of
Speaker 1: the organization of this episode. We switch off on who
Speaker 1: does what with the episodes that are both of us,
Speaker 1: and so maybe you could talk a little bit about
Speaker 1: this approach you wanted to take for the holiday episode
Speaker 1: this year.
Speaker 2: Yes, So I promise Laura this would not be simplify
Speaker 2: your holidays. That's not her favorite trope. It's a little
Speaker 2: bit overdone. And sometimes we don't see the point of
Speaker 2: simplifying things that bring you joy. I mean, why not
Speaker 2: like expound on the things that bring you joy. However,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm very into like the idea of
Speaker 2: like not going with preconceived ideas and like assuming everything
Speaker 2: is a half do, or like taking a more design
Speaker 2: mindset to your holidays. So my idea was a start
Speaker 2: from scratch holiday design, and Laura has some feelings on it,
Speaker 2: so I'll let you talk before I push back.
Speaker 1: Well, no, not so much feelings on it. It's just
Speaker 1: that I think if you have always done something, that
Speaker 1: is a reason to keep doing it, right, Like, you
Speaker 1: don't have to not do something because you're like, well
Speaker 1: it seems a little silly or funny or whatever. I mean,
Speaker 1: we do the same things over and over again and
Speaker 1: a lot of aspects of life, and it's partly just
Speaker 1: because we've done them a great many times. So tradition
Speaker 1: has its own weight. So obviously you don't want to
Speaker 1: do anything mindlessly or if no one enjoys it or
Speaker 1: gets any meaning from it, then what is the point.
Speaker 1: But now I think you don't want to assign, like
Speaker 1: I wouldn't put zero based accounting on the holidays. Let
Speaker 1: me put it that.
Speaker 2: Way that makes sense. I mean you could start with
Speaker 2: a zero based budget, I guess sort of, but give
Speaker 2: extra points extra weight to things that are traditional for
Speaker 2: your family. But I mean I also do feel like
Speaker 2: sometimes it does raise the question because maybe you always
Speaker 2: have Aunt Jane's like cranberry sauce, but like every year
Speaker 2: nobody likes it, Like you could just stop having it
Speaker 2: one year and nothing will happen, Like it's okay. Most
Speaker 2: of these things we're going to talk about are kind
Speaker 2: of optional fun activities, and if you're at a point
Speaker 2: in your household when no one's having fun, then it
Speaker 2: may make sense to revisit. I mean, I know that
Speaker 2: can be like bittersweet in a way, And I also
Speaker 2: think it's important to like have the opposite, which is
Speaker 2: that don't just assume that something won't be fun just
Speaker 2: because your kids have reached a certain age. Like you
Speaker 2: could be like, ah, yeah, that's for like little kids.
Speaker 2: But if you talk to your kids and you start
Speaker 2: from zero and you bring that to the table. They're like, no,
Speaker 2: I love that, that's important, so please like, do it
Speaker 2: continue that tradition.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why we were going to have breakfast with
Speaker 1: Santa this year. Ah see, I love that, And it
Speaker 1: wasn't the four year old asking for it. So with
Speaker 1: that in mind, if somebody really wants to make something
Speaker 1: happen that we've done a lot in the past, it
Speaker 1: is worth doing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent, And I think you're right, but
Speaker 2: there should be some like points assigned just for the
Speaker 2: tradition's sake, just not one hundred points in automatic jumping
Speaker 2: it on to your agenda, because at some point you're
Speaker 2: going to want to add things and something's going to
Speaker 2: have to go at some point. We have finite amounts
Speaker 2: of time, all right, So with that, we're going to
Speaker 2: go buy category and talk about what we're choosing to do.
Speaker 2: If we were we are, we're going to be like, okay,
Speaker 2: blanks late, what are we choosing, what are we opting in?
Speaker 2: What are we opting out? In various categories? And I
Speaker 2: just think these episodes are fun because I'm sure everyone
Speaker 2: many of the listeners are just thinking about a lot
Speaker 2: of the same things. Even though Laura celebrates Christmas and
Speaker 2: I don't, we still have lots of seasonal traditions in common.
Speaker 2: Just kind of growing up in a common culture, I guess.
Speaker 2: And yeah, so this will be fun to see where
Speaker 2: things differ and where things don't. All. Right, So first
Speaker 2: category hosting, Well.
Speaker 1: We're hosting Thanksgiving, right, even if it'll be small, So
Speaker 1: we'll do the traditional cooking, which, again, I don't know
Speaker 1: that everyone likes turkey, but I think not cooking a
Speaker 1: turkey on Thanksgiving would be quite a statement, like, oh,
Speaker 1: we're just ordering Chinese food. I'm not sure that that
Speaker 1: would go over all that well. Right, So there's one
Speaker 1: where even if it is just tradition, there's sort of
Speaker 1: a reason to keep doing that. I don't currently have
Speaker 1: any plans for a holiday party, but you had one
Speaker 1: of like having it maybe into January.
Speaker 2: Well, we're getting to that later. About parties, I met
Speaker 2: more like having people like stay at your house and
Speaker 2: hosting being so you're hosting the Thanksgiving dinner and is
Speaker 2: anybody coming to stay at your household?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, we live pretty close to
Speaker 1: a lot of our relatives on my side at least,
Speaker 1: and then we're not having a big get together with
Speaker 1: my husband's family over the holidays, so I don't think
Speaker 1: that they would be coming either. So yeah, I think
Speaker 1: it's pretty much just going to be us.
Speaker 2: Okay, we're going to take a quick break, and then
Speaker 2: we're going to get to the next category, which is
Speaker 2: cooking fancy meals. All right, we are back, And by
Speaker 2: the way, I didn't answer my own question about hosting,
Speaker 2: and I will say I don't think there's going to
Speaker 2: be any of like the obvious hosting happening, which is great.
Speaker 2: It means I don't have to worry about guest bedrooms
Speaker 2: or menus or anything like that. We'll talk about how
Speaker 2: I'm still excited to participate in these events, but not
Speaker 2: really planning on any hosting this season. So that's for us,
Speaker 2: all right. So cooking fancy meals, we kind of got
Speaker 2: to that. With hosting, it sounds like you are kind
Speaker 2: of on for Thanksgiving? Am I getting that right? Yep?
Speaker 1: Getting I'm going to be doing it, although because my
Speaker 1: brother's wife will not be there, like they're traveling elsewhere
Speaker 1: for Thanksgiving. She always makes really good roles that are
Speaker 1: kind of a highlight of Thanksgiving. There was one memorable
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving where Alex had a one of those kid plates
Speaker 1: that has like four quadrants in it, and he literally
Speaker 1: just took four roles and put one in each quadrant.
Speaker 1: That was what he wanted for Thanksgiving dinner. Just that
Speaker 1: no turkey, so she won't be there. So I guess
Speaker 1: I need to try to come up with some approximation
Speaker 1: thereof either this role recipe or do something else that
Speaker 1: people are really going to like, because I think that
Speaker 1: people will miss so, you know, wish me luck on
Speaker 1: that one.
Speaker 2: That sounds like a fun project. I'm going to ask,
Speaker 2: even though this is really exiting the scope of our show,
Speaker 2: are they those like twirly like roles that are like like.
Speaker 1: Noah, they are yeast rolls that are like butter flavored,
Speaker 1: but they're with the like shortening. It's pretty old school
Speaker 1: Southern recipe kind of thing.
Speaker 2: Love it, Love it. We always had these like crescent
Speaker 2: roles that like kind of rolled up and like, I
Speaker 2: think I might have eaten a plate with four of
Speaker 2: them on it. In addition to.
Speaker 1: Other things, Thanksgiving not the time to give up carbs.
Speaker 2: No, all right, we will exit from roles. But now
Speaker 2: I'm getting excited, so we're not again. I'm not like cooking,
Speaker 2: but I'm planning to kind of lean into helping other
Speaker 2: people cook in various circumstances. So my mom is cooking,
Speaker 2: but I don't have like stuff that I'm going to
Speaker 2: be doing otherwise, So I'm just going to be like,
Speaker 2: I will be your sush chef, and whatever you need
Speaker 2: help with, I will chop, I will whatever. So I'm
Speaker 2: looking forward to that kind of like a active role
Speaker 2: but not a take charge role. That sounds kind of
Speaker 2: appealing to me. And I will have to make every season,
Speaker 2: I have to make some key lime pie. So even
Speaker 2: though I won't be here for Thanksgiving, I know I
Speaker 2: have to bring key lime pie to Miami Beach at
Speaker 2: some time around Thanksgiving or people will be very very disappointed.
Speaker 2: So I will do that.
Speaker 1: Sounds good. How about holiday cards? Are you doing that
Speaker 1: this year? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So sending cards? Definitely doing that. Even if I had
Speaker 2: never done it before, I'd be excited to do it.
Speaker 2: And we do New Year's cards because then I don't
Speaker 2: have as deadline driven and also because then I can
Speaker 2: collect everyone's address when they send it to me and
Speaker 2: then use it to make my address list, which helps.
Speaker 2: I finally made a Google sheet for the holidays this
Speaker 2: year after many years of like using paper and kind
Speaker 2: of haphazard systems, so I am so, so so excited
Speaker 2: to put that into action again this year.
Speaker 1: What about you, Yeah, well, this always nudges us to
Speaker 1: get family photos taken in fall at some point, which
Speaker 1: we did in late September, and you know, I sort
Speaker 1: of guilt trip my kids into doing it because you said,
Speaker 1: this is going to be one of the last years
Speaker 1: that everyone will just sort of automatically be here, which
Speaker 1: so getting them all together might be a little bit
Speaker 1: more complicated other years. I don't know what our holiday
Speaker 1: card will look like, but still have all five of
Speaker 1: them on it the share. So yeah, I enjoyed doing it,
Speaker 1: getting them printed up, sending them to people, and just
Speaker 1: a real quick tip, even if you're not sending cards,
Speaker 1: it's nice to acknowledge if people do send you a card,
Speaker 1: like you can just sort of text the person and say, hey,
Speaker 1: cute card, Glad to hear everything's going well with you,
Speaker 1: or you know, you could share a quick update of
Speaker 1: your life too, but it's a sort of easy way
Speaker 1: to keep that connection, even if you're not doing the
Speaker 1: whole postal game yourself.
Speaker 2: I love that. That's really nice the idea to send
Speaker 2: a text. Are you exempt from sending the text if
Speaker 2: you send your own cards? Because I admit I have
Speaker 2: never done the text thing.
Speaker 1: They're letting your own cards. That's the appropriate reciprocal response.
Speaker 2: Okay, perfect? And by the way, do your cards have
Speaker 2: like any I can't remember because I've gotten your cards
Speaker 2: before and you've gotten mine. I like to put like
Speaker 2: a very short summary of like stuff that went on,
Speaker 2: and I take a lot of joy in that. And
Speaker 2: I know some people don't do that, but I love
Speaker 2: it when people do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, we used to do the letter, like
Speaker 1: the whole letter, but it became a bit more like
Speaker 1: family resume, like let me, you know, tell what everyone's
Speaker 1: doing in their lives. So now we tend not to
Speaker 1: do that. I just write a quick note saying hello
Speaker 1: on the back. But I do sign them all and
Speaker 1: put a quick note because and I leave space for
Speaker 1: it when I've created the card. It's fun to get
Speaker 1: personal notes. I mean, you know, if you're gon go
Speaker 1: to the effort of mailing the car. And I know
Speaker 1: some people have a whole automated system of it. But
Speaker 1: if you're gonna go to the effort of mailing it,
Speaker 1: it only takes a little bit more time to like
Speaker 1: say hello and sign your name, and so just throw
Speaker 1: that out there that you may as well take the
Speaker 1: extra seconds and make it a little bit more personalized.
Speaker 2: I like that because then the recipient knows it at
Speaker 2: least for a moment, like you were thinking about them.
Speaker 2: That's nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is good?
Speaker 2: All right? Gifts, Yes, I mean this isn't really an
Speaker 2: opt out. It'd be interesting if it was. I guess
Speaker 2: maybe some people do share your opt out of gifts stories.
Speaker 2: But we definitely are opting into doing gifts this year. However,
Speaker 2: once again, I think Josh is going to take the
Speaker 2: lead on the kid gifts. We do do eight gifts
Speaker 2: for the eight nights of Hanakah. They expect stuff, it's
Speaker 2: just a thing. However, some of these gifts are very minimal,
Speaker 2: so it's not it's not eight iPhones or something like that.
Speaker 2: And then we are pretty limited with the rest of
Speaker 2: our gifts with giftless and I don't see that changing.
Speaker 2: We do our nieces, our nephews, and I will ask
Speaker 2: for specific submissions to just make that process a little
Speaker 2: bit easier as to what they want. I do send
Speaker 2: gifts to my college friends because that's kind of is
Speaker 2: a year's long tradition that I don't think for planning
Speaker 2: on letting go at this point. And then, of course
Speaker 2: gifts for all kinds of staff at work, our nanny,
Speaker 2: are cleaner, et cetera. And I keep it very simple.
Speaker 2: For all of those people, I give cash, and then
Speaker 2: for teachers, I either give cash or Target gift cards,
Speaker 2: which I tend to just buy, like all at once,
Speaker 2: a whole bunch of them. And as I was creating
Speaker 2: this easy plan, I was like, you know, when I
Speaker 2: go to Target to get the gift cards, I should
Speaker 2: get a nice box of cards to put these into,
Speaker 2: because it tends to be a weird pain point that
Speaker 2: I have every year, which is like I have the
Speaker 2: cash and I don't have anything like nice to put
Speaker 2: it in, so I need to get like a just
Speaker 2: generic but cute Happy Holidays box of like, hey, I
Speaker 2: should just get fifty cards. I don't think people will
Speaker 2: care if they get the same one two years in
Speaker 2: a row, as long as there's a nice gift in there.
Speaker 1: And you need a fiftyth wedding anniversary gift for your
Speaker 1: parents too?
Speaker 2: There, right, Yes, So my plan for that, and I mean, honestly,
Speaker 2: as I was doing this episode, I'm like, I need
Speaker 2: to put this on my planner is I want to
Speaker 2: hire a photographer to come take a picture of our
Speaker 2: family when we're all there for Thanksgiving, my sister, my niece,
Speaker 2: my parents, et cetera. And then I'm going to have
Speaker 2: that printed in some form. I think that is probably
Speaker 2: there's no material gift that would make them really all
Speaker 2: that happy, but this would be, I think, really great.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, the idea of hiring a photographer and
Speaker 1: putting together an album is actually a really good gift
Speaker 1: idea for any sort of like older relative or people
Speaker 1: who have a lot of stuff. But it's a way
Speaker 1: of preserving memories because it is a pain to hire
Speaker 1: a photographer and to organize it and to get everyone
Speaker 1: to gather to do it. So if you're having some
Speaker 1: sort of family gathering, I did this for so my
Speaker 1: sister in law. I hired a photographer when we gathered
Speaker 1: for my parents' fiftieth wedding anniversary a few years ago,
Speaker 1: and we love having those photos and so then I
Speaker 1: hired a photographer when we got together with my husband's
Speaker 1: family for my mother in law's eighty fifth birthday. And
Speaker 1: I can tell you it is a pain. It it's
Speaker 1: a pain, like nobody wants to do it. Like if
Speaker 1: you're get together with twenty people, PEO don't want to
Speaker 1: stop and pose for like fifty photos in different combinations.
Speaker 1: It's kind of a party buzzkill. Even more so if
Speaker 1: you make them wear the same thing, which I did.
Speaker 1: So if a big group, like everyone wearing jeans on
Speaker 1: the bottom and white on the top. Some people have
Speaker 1: done like khakis on the bottom, light blue on the top,
Speaker 1: So you're gonna be dealing with some whining. I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna throw that out there, but you will be happy
Speaker 1: to have them afterwards, Like everyone's gonna be happy to
Speaker 1: have these photos. And if you create an album or
Speaker 1: do some bigger prints as gifts for people, that can
Speaker 1: take you for a while. So I will throw that
Speaker 1: out there as an idea. Other things like that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: like collecting family recipes would be a great way. There's
Speaker 1: some pretty easy like self publishing technology. You could print
Speaker 1: ten copies of the book to distribute to your entire family,
Speaker 1: So thinking of stuff like that might go a long
Speaker 1: way for people who are not going to be the
Speaker 1: sort you shop regular stuff for my kids. On the
Speaker 1: other hand, I can shop regular stuff, or you're gonna
Speaker 1: try and get this all done by Black Friday.
Speaker 2: I want to order it online. I don't want to
Speaker 2: have to like go anywhere. Josh likes to go places,
Speaker 2: so he may want to go places, but I feel
Speaker 2: like we're both going to be in Philadelphia. And by
Speaker 2: the way, as people are listening to this, they're like,
Speaker 2: she's hiring a photographer and it's in like two days,
Speaker 2: so like we are recording this a few weeks.
Speaker 1: Out of time.
Speaker 2: Yes, we're not totally delusional, but I mean, to me,
Speaker 2: that's like we're so preoccupied with other stuff, work, the kids,
Speaker 2: activities the rest of time, whereas we're going to be
Speaker 2: like a captive audience in Philadelphia for the week of
Speaker 2: Thanksgiving and there's going to be all these sales and stuff.
Speaker 2: So I don't want to stand in line at like
Speaker 2: some Big Bucks retailer at six am or something like that.
Speaker 2: But I assume a lot of these deals to be
Speaker 2: you as.
Speaker 1: That kind of person, Sarah. I know you were fighting
Speaker 1: for that television.
Speaker 2: Yes, I want the like that doll that like spoke
Speaker 2: or something like that tickle me Elmo. Thankfully, I think
Speaker 2: we've aged out of that, so yeah, no, there used
Speaker 2: to be like a separate cyber Monday, but since now
Speaker 2: people generally just shop online as a normal thing, many
Speaker 2: of them, I'm assuming there'll be plenty of actual Black
Speaker 2: Friday deals that I could purchase with my fingers. So
Speaker 2: I just think that would be a really nice way
Speaker 2: of like knocking a lot of that out and then
Speaker 2: entering the month of December worrying about other things because
Speaker 2: I also have a kid with a birthday, a husband
Speaker 2: with a fiftieth birthday, and like just like a million other.
Speaker 1: Concerts, et cetera. Yeah, yeah, totally. So I actually do
Speaker 1: like going to the stores around Christmas. I mean partly
Speaker 1: because you know, we buy so much stuff online and
Speaker 1: it's very easy, but you get ideas by kind of
Speaker 1: looking at a section, and obviously an online algorithm can
Speaker 1: suggest stuff too, But I feel like every time I
Speaker 1: go to one of the bigger targets around here, or
Speaker 1: you know, the Walmarts or whatever, I come up with
Speaker 1: toy ideas that I wouldn't have thought of, and often
Speaker 1: it's the older kids even who there might be fun
Speaker 1: games or things like that that I again I wouldn't
Speaker 1: know to think about, but there are things that are
Speaker 1: targeted for say twelve year olds or ten year olds
Speaker 1: or whatever, and a smart store will have a display
Speaker 1: along those lines, and so that can give you great ideas.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I will be in the stores. I am
Speaker 1: sure there will be a lot of shopping. Will always
Speaker 1: be more shopping than there should be. But the good
Speaker 1: news is in my family, the kids that it's sort
Speaker 1: of easy to overbuy toys for, like the younger too,
Speaker 1: the nine year old and the four year old. We'll
Speaker 1: have birthdays right after Christmas, so it's fine. So if
Speaker 1: I overbuy, I can just shove the extra stuff into
Speaker 1: a corner, put it under wraps, bring it back out
Speaker 1: further birthdays. One thing I do, and I will do
Speaker 1: this again. You know we're not going to zero some
Speaker 1: accounting here. I make a list to keep track of
Speaker 1: who's getting what and make sure it is even. Because
Speaker 1: everyone needs to unwrap about the same number of stuff.
Speaker 1: Everyone needs to have at least one thing under there
Speaker 1: that they are very excited about. So sometimes I've even
Speaker 1: bought like a bigger, cheap thing for somebody because all
Speaker 1: their presence were small and they needed something big to
Speaker 1: make it look like a bigger pile of presents. And
Speaker 1: that's just one of those things you do as a
Speaker 1: parent of five children.
Speaker 2: And you know, I think this might be our first
Speaker 2: Google sheet hanikah, Like.
Speaker 1: I see a spreadsheet Google sheet, honey in my mind.
Speaker 2: That needs to happen, and that would help with the
Speaker 2: like evenness, you could like highlight the one big gift
Speaker 2: and then you know, make sure. But when you say
Speaker 2: equal like, it's not like you're tallying exact now.
Speaker 1: And I mean, I don't do money. Like what I
Speaker 1: want is everyone to get stuff that they are happy about.
Speaker 1: And the nature of this is that older children get
Speaker 1: more expensive stuff than younger children. So you know, like
Speaker 1: an iPhone versus you could get a lot of toys.
Speaker 1: I mean, you could go like in a whole spree
Speaker 1: through Walmart for toys for the cost of an iPhone.
Speaker 1: But that's just the nature of it. So I'm not
Speaker 1: going for that. I'm going for equal happiness. Love it
Speaker 1: all right, Let's take one more quick ad break and
Speaker 1: then we'll be back with more on figuring out the holidays.
Speaker 2: All right, we are back. I will have to report
Speaker 2: back to let you know if my efficient gift strategy
Speaker 2: ends up coming to fruition, but I'm kind of excited
Speaker 2: about it. We're going to move on to parties and
Speaker 2: specifically throwing parties. So do you have a holiday party planned, Laura, Nope,
Speaker 2: it sounds fun.
Speaker 1: I'd like to do it sometime, but I think I
Speaker 1: would probably do it as kind of an open house
Speaker 1: sort of thing, like just for a couple of hours.
Speaker 1: People drop by and make it very much adult and
Speaker 1: kid so invite like people and kids classrooms and their
Speaker 1: parents or the kids.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I know some of my kids friends, but don't know
Speaker 1: their parents all that well for the older ones because
Speaker 1: they kind of get together independently at some point without
Speaker 1: parental involvement. So yeah, I mean, I think it'd be fun,
Speaker 1: but I'm not necessarily taking that on this year. Maybe
Speaker 1: in the future.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I kind of feel pold to do
Speaker 2: some kind of neighborhood something. I don't know exactly what
Speaker 2: it would look like, but I feel like I've gotten
Speaker 2: to know enough like locals that it'd be fun to do. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Like similarly like an open house. But I think I'm
Speaker 2: just thinking about like the actual calendar and the realistic
Speaker 2: nature of probably not getting it in December, so I'm
Speaker 2: thinking it would be more like New Year. It's January.
Speaker 2: I mean, for us, it's not the doldrooms. No one's cold,
Speaker 2: no one's sad, everyone's like woo who. It's lovely. But
Speaker 2: I still think kind of like post vacation inks, et cetera,
Speaker 2: just a little happy hour to like lighten the mood
Speaker 2: might be fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So my church choir has a twelfth Night party,
Speaker 1: which is really great for timing because people tend not
Speaker 1: to be busy the first weekend of January, where they
Speaker 1: definitely are in the December weekends before Christmas, and then
Speaker 1: it just like pushes forward the holiday cheer a little
Speaker 1: bit further. I will point out that the twelve days
Speaker 1: of Christmas are in fact after Christmas. Many people don't
Speaker 1: know that, but it starts on the twenty fifth goes
Speaker 1: to the sixth, and so you may think about how
Speaker 1: you could celebrate that that. There might be various festive
Speaker 1: opportunities to stretch out the season a little bit more. So,
Speaker 1: maybe we can combine some of these last categories, I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, we still.
Speaker 2: Have a lot of categories to get through, and we're
Speaker 2: really into the holiday spirit.
Speaker 1: We are really into the holidays.
Speaker 2: I'm going to consolidate the attend party, but I want
Speaker 2: to know if you're going to like design your clothing
Speaker 2: aesthetic for any holiday parties, have you thought about how
Speaker 2: that might go.
Speaker 1: I think I've mentioned this on this podcast before that
Speaker 1: I realized over the years that there was this issue
Speaker 1: that my festive dresses were like little straps or whatever.
Speaker 1: And it's cold in December, so I don't really actually
Speaker 1: want to wear these dresses in December. I'm as wearing
Speaker 1: some sort of wrap around it, like I'm practically wearing
Speaker 1: my windoor coat into the event because I'm like too
Speaker 1: cold and I can't be bothered to be uncomfortable if
Speaker 1: I'm like at something. So eventually, last year just went
Speaker 1: on Amazon as one does, and specifically looked for long
Speaker 1: sleeve dresses and so got something that's more of a
Speaker 1: velvety type thing. It's like a Mermaid cut. I really
Speaker 1: like it. In fact, I liked it so much I
Speaker 1: bought it in Green. Last year, I decided just to
Speaker 1: buy it in blue this year. So that is what
Speaker 1: I will be wearing to various holiday parties this year.
Speaker 1: It is not the same dress. I could wear the
Speaker 1: same dress. I don't think anyone would care or notice,
Speaker 1: but just for my own sense of dignity, it is
Speaker 1: not the same dress, but it is very very similar.
Speaker 2: I love it a very decide once kind of approach.
Speaker 2: I also have like one gold dress that I'm like
Speaker 2: that works for any holiday. And I got a sparkly
Speaker 2: shirt for the Taylor Swift concert and I got in
Speaker 2: the Target kids section. But it looks like way better
Speaker 2: than that, and I think that's going to be like
Speaker 2: for casual holiday stuff. That plus jeans, I feel like
Speaker 2: I can rocket anything sparkly.
Speaker 1: Right, Absolutely, anything sparkly can work as a holiday thing.
Speaker 1: Speaking of which, decor, if one is deciding from scratch,
Speaker 1: what sort of decor to do, Sarah, are you doing
Speaker 1: any sort of decor? No? No, okay, so we are.
Speaker 1: I have had it kind of on my list of
Speaker 1: one hundred dreams to have the house professionally decorated for Christmas.
Speaker 1: We have sort of started moving in that direction that
Speaker 1: we got the fancy tree last year, but it's an
Speaker 1: artificial trees. We own it now, so it's very easy
Speaker 1: to just like put it back up and have those.
Speaker 1: We have a couple other you know, nice decorations that
Speaker 1: are our house manager is going to put up. And
Speaker 1: she also got a group of people. It's a company
Speaker 1: that does window washing in the summer and in the
Speaker 1: winter they do holiday decorations. So they are going to
Speaker 1: do a bunch of trees in our yard, you know,
Speaker 1: with lights, because they have the ladders and all the
Speaker 1: lights and all that stuff. And so I'm excited to
Speaker 1: see how this is going to look a figure. I'll
Speaker 1: just try it something a little bit more festive this year.
Speaker 1: Don't ever have to do it again if we don't
Speaker 1: like it, or if it seems like a waste, but
Speaker 1: you know, may as well give it a whirl.
Speaker 2: And do they have takedown services as well?
Speaker 1: They do. You would absolutely not do this so that well,
Speaker 1: you're borrowing the lights from them, like you don't own
Speaker 1: the lights, right like they own the lights, and so
Speaker 1: they put them up and then they come take them down.
Speaker 2: That's excellent. I love it. I can't wait to see it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll hopefully it'll be up when you're here.
Speaker 2: Oh really By Thanksgiving. That's exciting.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, oh well they were almost booking a weekend
Speaker 1: in October to do it. I was like, Okay, I
Speaker 1: feel a little bad about doing that. Maybe we push
Speaker 1: it into November. So but I mean, you know, you
Speaker 1: pay the same amount if it's up for like two
Speaker 1: weeks versus two months, so you may as well. May
Speaker 1: as well have the full on festivities for two months.
Speaker 2: Love it all right?
Speaker 1: Holiday going to yoh, go ahead.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, Holiday Media, we can combine our
Speaker 2: performance category with our movies and music category.
Speaker 1: Well, so we were exchanging notes back and forth here,
Speaker 1: and you know, we often go to the Nutcracker and
Speaker 1: stuff like that, and Sarah does too. But she made
Speaker 1: an interesting point that one could decide to not go
Speaker 1: one year and then go the next year, and if
Speaker 1: you go to something every two years, it feels a
Speaker 1: little bit more fresh and new and not like you
Speaker 1: just went, but it's still part of the tradition. So
Speaker 1: I think that's a great idea in general, Like if
Speaker 1: there's something you enjoy but it seems like it's kind
Speaker 1: of a big deal, like it's a you know, pricey
Speaker 1: tickets or something like that, deciding to do it every
Speaker 1: other year means it's still a holiday tradition, but it's
Speaker 1: not quite as frequent. I think that's a nice thought
Speaker 1: and jump.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just want there to be like a little
Speaker 2: bit more novelty, Like I feel like we went not
Speaker 2: that long ago, even though I guess it was a
Speaker 2: full year. So yeah, that might be our policy every
Speaker 2: for two years, maybe every two to three years we
Speaker 2: go to the Miami City Bell.
Speaker 1: Well. I mean I've seen like, yeah, the Nutcracker like
Speaker 1: ten times in a little and maybe maybe it's time
Speaker 1: to take a slight break from that. But we are
Speaker 1: going to go see the Rackats. We have not gotten
Speaker 1: our tickets yet. We will. Well, we went for the
Speaker 1: first time last year with a group, enjoyed it quite
Speaker 1: a bit, and so I'm just going to take some
Speaker 1: day in December to go to New York and see
Speaker 1: the Racket, see the Rockefeller Plaza, Christmas Tree, go out
Speaker 1: to dinner with the family, and just kind of make
Speaker 1: a day of it. It's actually a really good show.
Speaker 1: I never went when I lived in New York because
Speaker 1: I had this idea. It was like, oh, it's so cheesy,
Speaker 1: like all the tourists are lined up around the block
Speaker 1: to go into it, and so you know, we needed
Speaker 1: something to do with the group last year, so we
Speaker 1: did it. And it's actually a really good show.
Speaker 2: There's a reason everyone's lining up around the block.
Speaker 1: Everyone's there. It's so fun. So that's super cool. I
Speaker 1: would totally do that. That's great. You're doing more of
Speaker 1: the movie thing, right, Like you guys have your favorite have.
Speaker 2: To I don't know if your kids, like my kids
Speaker 2: love I mean, they have to watch Elf. They have
Speaker 2: to watch Home Alone. I mean they don't have to,
Speaker 2: they will want to. I have to watch Charlie Brown Christmas,
Speaker 2: and then I drag whoever many kids I can get,
Speaker 2: and then there are like some newer fun ones that
Speaker 2: like we watched eight Fit Christmas, I think last year
Speaker 2: that was.
Speaker 1: Really really good.
Speaker 2: And then I love, love, love holiday music. So my
Speaker 2: policy is I don't want to like start it too
Speaker 2: early because I want it to feel really special. So
Speaker 2: December first, like dismplaylists are.
Speaker 1: On December one. Yeah, December one is also the earliest
Speaker 1: that the Elf can appear in our house, which is
Speaker 1: a tradition that I am only doing because it is
Speaker 1: a tradition. The Elf would perhaps not be welcome in
Speaker 1: our head.
Speaker 2: I love it. You're doing it because they love it,
Speaker 2: not because it's just a tradition. You're doing it because
Speaker 2: they would be sad if that elf was not there,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: I yes, maybe more people can be involved in the
Speaker 1: elf wonder this year. Maybe the elf can have little
Speaker 1: helpers who are interesting. So, oh well, let's see cooking
Speaker 1: we've already talked about, like holiday meals and stuff. Do
Speaker 1: you do any baking though, I mean, do you have
Speaker 1: baking sessions? Gingerbread cookies?
Speaker 2: I love the idea of it, but we generally don't.
Speaker 1: My mom used to.
Speaker 2: Make these really good shortbread cookies with iconic designs. They
Speaker 2: were super good, and I loved that. A couple of
Speaker 2: people in my office at work tend to make cookies
Speaker 2: and bring them in because I enjoy eating them. But
Speaker 2: I'm not putting this on my list. I just don't
Speaker 2: want to like another thing. We might do some like
Speaker 2: prefab gingerbread house creation with a kit or something, because
Speaker 2: the kids it's like a fun well maybe your kids
Speaker 2: cheating out of my house. I mean, we like gingerbread
Speaker 2: kit type. I think we did that last year. I
Speaker 2: think we did, But we could do it again, they
Speaker 2: would be over the moon.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so okay, I'll just buy enough kits for everyone.
Speaker 1: I'll put that on the list. But I put baking
Speaker 1: on my holiday fund list mostly because my daughter loves
Speaker 1: baking and she'll do a lot of baking on her own,
Speaker 1: which she is allowed to do as long as she
Speaker 1: remembers to turn off the oven, which it's good to
Speaker 1: have somebody in the house at least at some point
Speaker 1: within the hour she is doing it, just to confirm
Speaker 1: it's off. But she can do most of it. I
Speaker 1: think she can take the lead on it, and I
Speaker 1: will just make sure that all the ingredients are available
Speaker 1: for her to do that, and then I can be
Speaker 1: more of the sous chef for that experience and have
Speaker 1: a real holiday baking extravaganza. But the upside is that's
Speaker 1: something that you can put in a lot of different places.
Speaker 1: You can kind of look at a weekend that has say,
Speaker 1: two parties and a trip to a light display and
Speaker 1: like a rehearsal for a performance, like you can't put
Speaker 1: something else big in there, but you could put a
Speaker 1: two hour baking event that would fit. So I think
Speaker 1: as you're making your holiday fundlist, it's good to have
Speaker 1: a range of activities. There's some stuff that is specific
Speaker 1: to a time, some stuff that there are lots of options,
Speaker 1: like the roquettes, but you do have to commit and
Speaker 1: then other things that you're in one make a time
Speaker 1: for it, but it could go in lots of different cookies, movies,
Speaker 1: cookies and movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, those are or if
Speaker 1: you have any sort of craft you're doing. I don't
Speaker 1: think we put that on here for us, but it's
Speaker 1: something we could do. And then you always want to
Speaker 1: plan for the next year too. I mean that's a
Speaker 1: big part of the holiday fund for you.
Speaker 2: I love doing that. I like doing it the second
Speaker 2: week of when my kids are off and I'm off
Speaker 2: and like January is just on the horizon. I don't
Speaker 2: like wait to fill in my planner. In fact, this year,
Speaker 2: I think I mentioned it on a prior episode, but
Speaker 2: I just was like diving in in October, like I
Speaker 2: have stuff to schedule in January and I'm not magically
Speaker 2: like I need to use this thing now. But at
Speaker 2: the same time, that's when I do my like more
Speaker 2: formal scheming of like all kinds of goals and things
Speaker 2: like that. Now I am going to put a plug
Speaker 2: for two different things. Number One, I run personally a
Speaker 2: Best Laid Plans at Home kind of annual planning course
Speaker 2: that's four hours. It's actually based on what we do
Speaker 2: at Best Laid Plans Live. And then people wanted like
Speaker 2: a virtual version. So if you're like I want a
Speaker 2: lot of structure around my planning and I want to
Speaker 2: sit there for four hours with you with the workbook
Speaker 2: and like do it with you, that is still available
Speaker 2: and for a lower key version of that that's still
Speaker 2: really really fun. We have our Patreon which every December,
Speaker 2: and we haven't set the date yet for this, but
Speaker 2: it'll probably be.
Speaker 1: Setting after November twenty six when this is airing. So
Speaker 1: the good news is it hasn't happened yet.
Speaker 2: Yes, you still have a chance. It'll be an hour
Speaker 2: usually around twelve Eastern time, where it'll be like a
Speaker 2: mini version of that like planning, and you'll get to
Speaker 2: dive into your the beginning of your annual planning, including
Speaker 2: maybe figuring out when you're going to do the rest
Speaker 2: of it in more detail. But we do visioning and
Speaker 2: we start with goal setting and all that kind of
Speaker 2: fun stuff. So if you want the long, long long version,
Speaker 2: the four hour version that's bestly plans at home, and
Speaker 2: then if you want the little mini planning that will
Speaker 2: still really get you started, join us in Patreon. It's
Speaker 2: a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like to have this mostly set when we
Speaker 1: do our goals episode for the next year, which we
Speaker 1: always record seemingly early, and so I'm like, I gotta
Speaker 1: get this locked down by then, so you know, but
Speaker 1: a lot of fun things going on with the holidays,
Speaker 1: lots of traditions or new traditions you can start. I
Speaker 1: think it's fun to always try, you know, you do
Speaker 1: the stuff that you enjoyed from the past. You can
Speaker 1: also try one or two new things each year because
Speaker 1: maybe you'll discover something that you want to do again
Speaker 1: and again. Of course, you may also discover you don't
Speaker 1: like it, and then you don't have to worry about
Speaker 1: it or think about doing it again in the future.
Speaker 1: But hopefully everyone's making a great holiday fun list as
Speaker 1: they are hearing this episode, and we look forward to
Speaker 1: hearing what you come up with. But our question, Sarah,
Speaker 1: what do you want for Hankakah or Christmas? Do you
Speaker 1: guys get Hanakah presents like the adults or it's only
Speaker 1: the kids. It's only the kids.
Speaker 2: We don't that's the funny part. I'm like, but you know,
Speaker 2: I think it's sometimes maybe I'll buy myself a Hankika gift.
Speaker 2: You should buy yourself eight gifts, Sarah, I might need
Speaker 2: a sufferate.
Speaker 1: Little like one could be like a nail polish. One
Speaker 1: could be a lipstick. One could be a book, right,
Speaker 1: like you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right, that might be fun. Maybe I'll open
Speaker 2: them up in front, like, oh, look what I get today.
Speaker 2: So I think if someone were actually buying me a gift,
Speaker 2: which like, well, my college friends we kind of buy
Speaker 2: each other gift, so I get gifts that way. I
Speaker 2: think loungewear, like I want to buy myself some nice
Speaker 2: like I want to elevate my loungewear. I want to
Speaker 2: like feel cute and comfy after hours, so loundwear. And
Speaker 2: then I think a book that like if you love
Speaker 2: a book and you really like see that other person
Speaker 2: loving a book, I think that it's like a really
Speaker 2: fun gift. Or if someone had a cosmetic product that
Speaker 2: they think is like a miracle worker, like buy it
Speaker 2: for me.
Speaker 1: That sounds good?
Speaker 2: What about you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean what I honestly want is like to
Speaker 1: get away for a while. It was like go sit
Speaker 1: in a cabin in the woods for a while and
Speaker 1: write and somebody else will handle the details of my life.
Speaker 1: So we'll see if that happened. But stay tuned. Love
Speaker 1: of the Week, Sarah, what do you have?
Speaker 2: Oh man?
Speaker 1: Be guys, we've had a lot of loves of the
Speaker 1: weeks in this Yeah.
Speaker 2: I just love holiday albums of all my favorite artists.
Speaker 2: They make me happy. My favorite is Casey mus Graves.
Speaker 2: I've shared them before, but maybe I'll have a new
Speaker 2: favorite this year. I'll have to shop around.
Speaker 1: We'll try new ones out. Yeah, yeah, Well, I mean
Speaker 1: I like the holidays in general. I would like to
Speaker 1: make sure that my mental load isn't overwhelming with it,
Speaker 1: but it usually isn't, so we'll be having many people
Speaker 1: take on different projects of it. But holidays are a
Speaker 1: festive times. It's good to do good to do well.
Speaker 1: This has been best of both worlds. We've been discussing
Speaker 1: all things holiday. Would love to hear what you have
Speaker 1: planned for your holiday seasons. We will be back next
Speaker 1: week with more on making work and life fit together.
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the
Speaker 2: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram,
Speaker 2: and you can.
Speaker 3: Find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Been the
Speaker 3: best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us next time
Speaker 3: for more on making work and life work together