Speaker 1: Hell I Suck At Dating with the Nongler and Dared
Speaker 1: Haven and I heard radio podcast What's going on? Everyone?
Speaker 1: Welcome to an all new episode of Help I Suck
Speaker 1: At Dating. The date is Sunday, November. What is it?
Speaker 1: What is it? November twenty nine, Sunday after Thanksgiving. That's
Speaker 1: all I can remember. And everybody's had too much turkey
Speaker 1: to remember what date it is. Yeah, the trip to
Speaker 1: fan is kicked in. Um, Jared, what did you do
Speaker 1: for Thanksgiving? So I flew down to Virginia to see
Speaker 1: my in laws, including one that I named a coffee
Speaker 1: shop afterwards, so they were very happy with that. Uh,
Speaker 1: and it was it was, it was, It was nice. Listen.
Speaker 1: We went out to eat for Thanksgiving, which is something
Speaker 1: that like my traditional traditional list that's a word traditionalist
Speaker 1: heart did not enjoy. Not gonna lie. Um, But her
Speaker 1: parents have been wanting to go out to eat for
Speaker 1: Thanksgaping for years and since we've been together Ash and
Speaker 1: I we've eaten at their their house, have had people over.
Speaker 1: So this year they won went out to a restaurant
Speaker 1: and at least the restaurant had a Thanksgiving meal, you know,
Speaker 1: so that was really nice. What was the cuisine, Well,
Speaker 1: it's turkey stuffing, mashed potatoes. It was traditional, which was
Speaker 1: very nice because originally the idea was to go to
Speaker 1: a steakhouse, which, of course I wouldn't have said anything
Speaker 1: because it's my in laws and I have to keep
Speaker 1: my mouth shut. But little Jared would have been very
Speaker 1: sad if he went to a steakhouse on Thanksgiving. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's interesting. I don't think I've ever gone out
Speaker 1: to dinner on Thanksgiving. I'm surprised that they're Well, I'm
Speaker 1: not surprised, I guess, but you know, I feel like
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving is one of those holidays where most things shut down.
Speaker 1: So I'm sure you're probably hard pressed to find an
Speaker 1: open restaurant on Thanksgiving night, right. Oh yeah, Well the
Speaker 1: problem is as well, someone like myself, who has worked
Speaker 1: in the restaurant industry for the majority of his life.
Speaker 1: Anytime we were open for a holiday, anybody who came in,
Speaker 1: I was like, screw these people, go home, go eat
Speaker 1: at home. This is where that's where you should be.
Speaker 1: So now I am one of those people coming in
Speaker 1: on a holiday and being like, hello, reservation seven people,
Speaker 1: I'm here as long as you tip a little extra
Speaker 1: and you're extra grateful and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: I think it's totally okay as a you know, I
Speaker 1: used to work in the hotel industry, um back when
Speaker 1: I was in college and stuff, and I actually preferred
Speaker 1: working holidays because people were more generous. You know, if
Speaker 1: you work in a tipping business, people are bound to
Speaker 1: tip more, a little more on the holidays. You get
Speaker 1: paid time and a half, you make money. It was
Speaker 1: it was nice. It was nice to make a little
Speaker 1: bit of money and all that kind of stuff. Um,
Speaker 1: I've always done, and I think this is a bit
Speaker 1: of a tradition throughout America. Um More on Christmas time though,
Speaker 1: Like Christmas dinner, you get Chinese food. Have you ever
Speaker 1: done that before? Yes? Why is that? What a random thing?
Speaker 1: It's super random. It's Christmas Eve, right, Christmas Eve. I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to get uh, you know, Chinese food. It's it's
Speaker 1: like Christmas even New Year's Eve. I don't know why
Speaker 1: or how that became a tradition. The only thing I
Speaker 1: can think of is if you've ever seen the movie
Speaker 1: A Christmas Story, which is a Christmas classic, it plays
Speaker 1: literally twenty four hours, twenty four hours straight from Christmas
Speaker 1: Eve into Christmas Day, that's how popular it is. In
Speaker 1: that movie, the Christmas dinner gets ruined because the next
Speaker 1: door neighbors dogs break into the house and destroy all
Speaker 1: the food on the table. So then they go out
Speaker 1: to a Chinese restaurant because it's the only place open
Speaker 1: on Christmas. I have no idea if the two are correlated,
Speaker 1: but that's all I know from it. Um So, everyone
Speaker 1: always talks about favorite Christmas movies, and since you're such
Speaker 1: a movie guy, do you have a favorite Thanksgiving movie.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's a Thanksgiving movie, but the
Speaker 1: movie that I like to watch on Thanksgiving to kick
Speaker 1: off the holiday season is Home Alone. I for some reason,
Speaker 1: I think of Home Alone more as a Thanksgiving Day
Speaker 1: movie rather than a Christmas movie. I think it's just
Speaker 1: my childhood. I think it's when we started watching it.
Speaker 1: But there's nothing that gives my little Christmas heart more
Speaker 1: joy than watching Home Alone on Thanksgiving night, And it
Speaker 1: really just like kicks off the Christmas season in the
Speaker 1: greatest way possible. I would agree. I would say Christmas
Speaker 1: doesn't really start. Christmas season doesn't start until the day
Speaker 1: after Thanksgiving. Maybe even someone argued December one, give yourself
Speaker 1: some some time to adjust. But Kaylin actually just put
Speaker 1: up our Christmas tree yesterday and I kind of had
Speaker 1: a fighter on a little bit. I was like, do
Speaker 1: you think it's a little too soon? Do you're putting
Speaker 1: up this Christmas tree? And she was like, I don't
Speaker 1: care what you think. I'm putting it up. I can't
Speaker 1: wait till it's up. She's already decorated it and everything.
Speaker 1: So I guess, um, you know people who love celebrating
Speaker 1: Christmas a little But I'm with Kylin on this one.
Speaker 1: Come on, it's only it's literally a month and a
Speaker 1: half's first of all, If you don't start celebrating until
Speaker 1: after the first, it's twenty five days and then it's over.
Speaker 1: So why not just put it up? What I think
Speaker 1: should happen is I think that Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas
Speaker 1: should all be one holiday and it's just the whole
Speaker 1: holiday season rate From Halloween, you go rain to Christmas
Speaker 1: and it's two months worth of holidays. Could you imagine
Speaker 1: if there weren't these holidays during this time of year?
Speaker 1: The sun is just up for like six hours a day.
Speaker 1: There's nothing to look forward to other than the day
Speaker 1: is getting longer again. So like thank Goodness, there's Thanksgiving
Speaker 1: and Christmas and Hanukkah, Kwanza, Halloween, all these holidays that
Speaker 1: are to be celebrated this time of year because otherwise December, November, January,
Speaker 1: it's pretty like I think about it. When January one comes,
Speaker 1: the next holiday you can celebrate is like Thanksgiving, I guess,
Speaker 1: and then after that you've got um MLK Day and
Speaker 1: then Easter. I don't know, like like, yeah, you have Easter.
Speaker 1: I mean, then they have like listen, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to call them dumb holidays because they're not dumb holidays.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. Actually I live Valentine's Day. I
Speaker 1: think it's a dumb, hot, stupid. I don't get it.
Speaker 1: I don't care if I get heat for it. Actually
Speaker 1: hates the fact that I don't like Valentine's Day just
Speaker 1: not a big because first of all, it comes right
Speaker 1: after Christmas, and then Ashley's birthday's March six, So it's like,
Speaker 1: how many gifts do I have to buy this human being?
Speaker 1: I love her to death, she's my wife, but I
Speaker 1: gotta get her gifts for Christmas. Then I gotta get
Speaker 1: her gifts for Valentine's Day. Then I gotta get her
Speaker 1: gifts for her birthday. And we're barely into March at
Speaker 1: this point. I mean spread it out a little bit.
Speaker 1: So Valentine's Day not a big not a big fan. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: at least you can just kind of like bang them
Speaker 1: all out and you don't have to worry about getting
Speaker 1: gifts about the entire year, you know, just three months.
Speaker 1: Like you said, we're in, we're out about a bing
Speaker 1: bada boom YadA, YadA YadA. With my dumb guy brain
Speaker 1: just forgets about things. So like I'm so I put
Speaker 1: so much effort into Christmas that by the time valent
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day rolls around, I'm like just coming out of
Speaker 1: the Christmas coma and it's like I just got you
Speaker 1: a gift, Now I gotta get you something else. So
Speaker 1: I always get flowers, and then her birthday comes up,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'll that's try. I gotta get you
Speaker 1: something else because it's your birthday. I've kind of adopted
Speaker 1: the idea of not giving uh material gifts anymore. Like
Speaker 1: maybe if you like make something, I guess that's fine.
Speaker 1: But like I'm I I and This is like a
Speaker 1: new concept that I'm just like starting to try out
Speaker 1: this year, specifically for Christmas with my family. Um where
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be giving like experiential gifts. Hugs. Hugs,
Speaker 1: They're fine, Uh, more like experiential things like you know,
Speaker 1: my family is coming out to us in Vegas this year,
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna like get us all tickets to a
Speaker 1: Broncos game or go and see a Cirt Day Slay
Speaker 1: show because or the Matrix comes out, We're gonna go
Speaker 1: see the Matrix definitely. Are you a big Matrix fan? Uh? Yeah.
Speaker 1: My brothers are huge, huge Matrix fans, and I like,
Speaker 1: I like the movie series quite a bit, so I
Speaker 1: have your brother Matrix Resurrections. I'm counting down the days
Speaker 1: we don't have to talk about the Matrix because we're
Speaker 1: a dating podcast and no one gives about it. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, Trinity and Neo and we can talk about
Speaker 1: that a little bit. It's a love story right there. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: so that's that's you know, if you're looking for some
Speaker 1: gift giving advice, maybe take that into consideration too. Instead
Speaker 1: of getting like a material thing, get more of like
Speaker 1: a you know, I don't know, some sort of nice
Speaker 1: little romantic experiencial gesture. Um, by the way, you didn't ask,
Speaker 1: but my Thanksgiving was really good. First of all, I
Speaker 1: was waiting till you're done, and then I was about
Speaker 1: to ask, saying, hey, how was your Thanksgiving? What did
Speaker 1: you do? No, let's talk about yours a little bit
Speaker 1: more hired, what did you do? No? Ours was fine.
Speaker 1: We just we went to Kaylin's grandparents house. Um, we
Speaker 1: were a little worried because, you know, as we talked
Speaker 1: about last week a little bit, I wasn't feeling super
Speaker 1: super good at Ben's wedding. I had the flu, and
Speaker 1: Caitlin started getting a little sick too, and uh, we
Speaker 1: like didn't want to go to Caylin's grandparents house if
Speaker 1: either of us are feeling ill at all. But I'm
Speaker 1: fully recovered and Caylin woke up the day before Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: Fee But yeah, so we went to Caylin's grandparents house
Speaker 1: and her uncle came over with his new wife, and uh,
Speaker 1: just played some board games, you know, just kind of
Speaker 1: like the more traditional Thanksgiving experience rather than going out
Speaker 1: to dinner, which I don't I don't hate the going
Speaker 1: out to dinner thing. I gotta say, like, you know,
Speaker 1: you don't have to clean up after yourself. No one
Speaker 1: has to worry about bringing dishes and like cooking ing
Speaker 1: and all that kind of stuff. So I see the appeal,
Speaker 1: but it sounds like you're never gonna want to do
Speaker 1: it again, is that right? Yeah? No, I like it.
Speaker 1: I like being at home. That's where I want to be. Uh.
Speaker 1: And that's the bottom line. As they say, we do
Speaker 1: have some hot topics. I guess we should start talking
Speaker 1: about dating at some point besides our own lives before
Speaker 1: we get to the hot topics though, because I'm looking
Speaker 1: at the same run down as you. Yeah, and the
Speaker 1: hot topics are great. I feel like a lot has
Speaker 1: happened within the Bachelor world this past week that we like,
Speaker 1: we can't not talk about those things. You know, Despite
Speaker 1: the fact that we try not to be a bachelor podcast,
Speaker 1: the fact remains that we, um, there were two guys
Speaker 1: from the Bachelor franchise, both of which you're dating someone
Speaker 1: who you met on Bachelor Paradise. I'm married and expecting
Speaker 1: a kid who someone I met in Bachelor Paradise. Like,
Speaker 1: let's be honest, we're a little bit of a Bachelor podcast.
Speaker 1: So we've got to talk about it a little bit,
Speaker 1: and um, yeah, I think there's a lot of bad
Speaker 1: news that came out recently within the Bachelor franchise dating
Speaker 1: all the way back. Let's start like Dale and Claire
Speaker 1: broke up, bad news. But and we see that Katie
Speaker 1: and Blake broke up, and then not long after, we
Speaker 1: see that Tasha and Zach broke up. So that's that's
Speaker 1: the last three bachelorettes in a row that had just
Speaker 1: broken up with their um final selection. Who's the bachelorette
Speaker 1: before the Tassia and Claire season? Who the hell was that?
Speaker 1: That wasn't Hannah, was it? I think it was John.
Speaker 1: Now I'm losing my mind. Now I have to figure
Speaker 1: that out because now I'm curious who's the last person
Speaker 1: to be Who's the last bachelorette to be the person
Speaker 1: they picked? Because remember, for a while there, Bachelorette was
Speaker 1: kicking Bachelor's ass in terms of couples that have lasted, right,
Speaker 1: But I think the last one was Rachel. Was my
Speaker 1: bachelorette was Rachel and Brian who's now obviously married to Brian.
Speaker 1: I think she's the last successful bachelorette because it went Rachel. Oh,
Speaker 1: and I gotta look this up. Becca Rachel, Becca, Hannah, Claire, Tasha, Katie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right. It's the last four in row. Now we
Speaker 1: have got Michelle season airing, and obviously we don't know
Speaker 1: who she chooses yet, but she's got a lot of
Speaker 1: pressure on her shoulders. I feel like to make it work.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Did you have you followed the breakup
Speaker 1: saga with any of these couples in the past couple
Speaker 1: of like weeks or days. Yeah, I mean I've caught
Speaker 1: up a little bit. The Tasia and Zach Juan is
Speaker 1: obviously the saddest in my opinion, because one, I really
Speaker 1: like Tassia. She is a sweetheart, and Zach seemed like
Speaker 1: he probably is still obviously I'm super down to earth,
Speaker 1: easygoing guy. I just didn't work out between the two
Speaker 1: of them, which really sucks because I liked them together. Like,
Speaker 1: for example, Tasia FaceTime to Ashley and was crying when
Speaker 1: we announced we were having a kid and it was
Speaker 1: the sweetest moment ever. So I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: really wish that Tassia and Zach were gonna work out. Now,
Speaker 1: all right, Well, so who did you say? So? Who
Speaker 1: is the bachelorette before Um, Katie, Tassia, Claire, cla It
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna Holy crap, Why does that feel like seven
Speaker 1: years ago? And Becca, which I guess I didn't even
Speaker 1: account in to that too. That's five in ourrow. Becca, Hannah, Tasha, Claire, Katie.
Speaker 1: All five of those bachelorettes broke up with their final selection. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right, the last one with Rachel because there was
Speaker 1: a hot streak going Caitlin with Sean and then Jojo
Speaker 1: with Jordan's Rachel with Brian. I know, but then obviously
Speaker 1: Sean and Caitlin broke up, so that doesn't count with
Speaker 1: the hot streak. No, it doesn't. It was a hot streak,
Speaker 1: no more hot streak. It ended, and then who desire
Speaker 1: still with her guy man? So it was Andy before
Speaker 1: Andy Dorfman picked Josh Murray. That's crazy to me. It's
Speaker 1: so weird thinking about that. Now, Desiree picked Chris. I
Speaker 1: remember that because I've become friends with Brooks. Brooks was
Speaker 1: on that season and he left, long story. And then
Speaker 1: the season before that, Emily Maynard picked Jeff Home that's
Speaker 1: in sanity. And then now we're going way back. Wow, dude, Yeah, bachelorette,
Speaker 1: what's going on? Why are these couples breaking up? Are we? Are?
Speaker 1: We just not we? We don't believe in love anymore.
Speaker 1: I think it's just a whole show thing because even
Speaker 1: the bachelors haven't really been Matt and Rachel I think,
Speaker 1: are still together, but like not engaged. Besides them who
Speaker 1: are yeah, not not engaged. Um, there's also been a
Speaker 1: pretty soury streak for the bachelors too, So I just
Speaker 1: I feel like something's going on, something's in the in
Speaker 1: the water. Maybe um, that they're feeding their contestants. Matt
Speaker 1: and Rachel together all right, so hopefully they work out.
Speaker 1: We'll see they're just dating boyfriend girlfriend, so I don't
Speaker 1: know how serious it is. Peter obviously did not work
Speaker 1: out Colton. We all know what happened with there Ari
Speaker 1: Pitt to Becca, but obviously made the switch and went
Speaker 1: with Lauren. Are we counting that that counts? I count
Speaker 1: that too? Uh? Nick? Obviously we all know half of that.
Speaker 1: Ben we all know just coming from his wedding. Chris
Speaker 1: obviously did not work with Whitney. Wow, so Sean and
Speaker 1: Catherine so the last guy because listen, if if we're
Speaker 1: not if we're saying like Ari didn't pick, like he
Speaker 1: he switched then the last guy to be still with
Speaker 1: the woman he picked with Sean and Catherine from two
Speaker 1: thousand and thirteen. Holy craps, I was I think I
Speaker 1: was still in middle school in two thousand and thirteen.
Speaker 1: Got shot. I know you're worried. You're almost as old
Speaker 1: as me. They're on. So I want to go through
Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise couples now because I really think b
Speaker 1: I P. That's where it's at. That's like the saving
Speaker 1: grace for the couples of the franchise. I think let's uh,
Speaker 1: let's let's exclude this most recent season. It's too recent
Speaker 1: to include them in the list. Yeah, should we take
Speaker 1: a quick break and then come back with the Bachelor
Speaker 1: Paradise couples because we're already pretty good. Let's take a
Speaker 1: quick break and then we're gonna come back and remind
Speaker 1: everybody of who's still together from Bachelor in Paradise because
Speaker 1: Bachelorette and Bachelor kind of sucking right now and they
Speaker 1: need to step up the game. But rather than just
Speaker 1: reminding everyone of the couples, I want to I want
Speaker 1: to see if you've got any like juicy inside scoop.
Speaker 1: So stick around through the break and we'll see what
Speaker 1: Jared and uh his wife have been talking about over
Speaker 1: there in Rhode Island. So you're back, all right, Jared,
Speaker 1: we're back. So tell us. So you're you're about to
Speaker 1: get into the Bachelor in Paradise couples from let's go
Speaker 1: like six and and earlier, because like I said, seven
Speaker 1: is just a little too recent too, I think group
Speaker 1: them into the conversation. All right, So we're not counting
Speaker 1: this season, So Kenny, Maury, Kenny, Murray, Riley and Marissa
Speaker 1: and Joe and Serena don't count. Okay, I'm good with that.
Speaker 1: So we have Dylan and Hannah who are still engaged.
Speaker 1: Do you know if they're planning? Are you friends with Dylan?
Speaker 1: Are they like planning a wedding? I think so. Dylan, Um,
Speaker 1: he's he's a bit of an uh an anomaly. Is
Speaker 1: that the word I'm looking for? Yeah, he's he's a
Speaker 1: weird guy. I like him a lot though. Oh he's yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a nice guy. Um, but yeah, I'm sure they're
Speaker 1: planning something. Astrid and Kevin, who are in gauge but
Speaker 1: are I just had a kid, so I'm assuming they're
Speaker 1: planning to still get married. Oh um, congratulations to Kevin
Speaker 1: and Astrid by the way, sure, Uh yeah, anyway, I
Speaker 1: digress Number six on this list Dean anglerd and Kaylin
Speaker 1: Miller Keys. Look at that. Look at that young Dylan Dylan.
Speaker 1: Look at that young Dean face right there. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why did you go Hannah Dylan as Kevin and
Speaker 1: then me and Kaylin? You went season six to season five.
Speaker 1: I know, I'm sorry, I'm literally I'm just on what
Speaker 1: article in my on Pure Wow the fifteen. Uh so
Speaker 1: they're just going through bachelor and paradise couples who are
Speaker 1: still together. I don't think there's really any rhyme or
Speaker 1: reason as to why you guys are before or after them. Cool.
Speaker 1: I thought you were the one using the order, so
Speaker 1: that makes sense, thinks you know what's cool? It says,
Speaker 1: you know, it gives like the next couple is you
Speaker 1: and Kalin obviously, and it gives a status on everybody.
Speaker 1: For example, it says engaged for Dylan and Hannah, gauge
Speaker 1: for Kevin and Astrid, status married question mark. So even
Speaker 1: this uh pure Wow doesn't know if you guys are
Speaker 1: actually married or not. We love to keep it a mystery, baby,
Speaker 1: it says. Dean low Key confirmed that he's a married
Speaker 1: man during a promo for the Lovebirds movie. That was
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you were there with me. They told me
Speaker 1: to say something about my wife or that I was married,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, sure, I'll say it. Why not, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that'll be fun. Cool, let's do it. Um. Adam and
Speaker 1: Raven obviously just married Adam. Raven is pregnant, so they're
Speaker 1: doing very well, it seems, which is exciting to hear.
Speaker 1: The next couple on this list, Jared and Ashley. Oh
Speaker 1: you guys, that's you. That's look at me. That's how
Speaker 1: are they doing? They're doing all right. That was a
Speaker 1: picture of me with my shirt off in Bachelor Paradise
Speaker 1: season two when I had abs. Those were good days.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's funny. Jason Tardik posted a throwback
Speaker 1: photo of like him and me and a couple other
Speaker 1: guys in Vegas, like a couple of years ago, and
Speaker 1: just saying like how he wished he could be at
Speaker 1: Ben's wedding, but he in it and we were all shirtless,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I literally had a six pack,
Speaker 1: and that concept just seems so foreign to me right now. Mhmm, yeah, man,
Speaker 1: it sucks like just four one out for the homies,
Speaker 1: all six of them. Umm, Jaden Tanner married. No inside scoop.
Speaker 1: They're they're doing very well, very happy, three kids, beautiful kids.
Speaker 1: Emmy is just I love Emmy so much. I love
Speaker 1: Brooks and Read too, obviously, but we have a very
Speaker 1: close connection with that mean, she's the best. Uh. Evan
Speaker 1: and Carly, that's an interesting one because I think that
Speaker 1: they're not together still. Like I knew that they were
Speaker 1: trying to work things out, and I I don't know
Speaker 1: where the relationship stands now. I gotta be honest. I
Speaker 1: think that they're not together still, And because then didn't
Speaker 1: they announced they were finally. Yeah, in December two, the
Speaker 1: couple announced that they're calling it quits. So I don't
Speaker 1: think there's I think they're still not together. I mean, listen,
Speaker 1: if I was car really, I wouldn't want to be
Speaker 1: with Evan either, So I totally get where she's coming from.
Speaker 1: That's right, I forgot about you guys. Had that feud
Speaker 1: well very imaginary. I'm just kidding. Evan seems like a
Speaker 1: nice guy. I just gotta keep the feud alive. So, Evan,
Speaker 1: you're definitely not listening to this. If you are listening
Speaker 1: to this, d m Evan and tell him I always
Speaker 1: talking a lot of crap about him on the Help
Speaker 1: I Suck a Dating podcast? Is that it for the
Speaker 1: couples that are together, because now all the rest of
Speaker 1: the couples are ones that got together but are no
Speaker 1: longer together, like, for example, in the next couple is
Speaker 1: Chris and Crystal, which is really sad because I think
Speaker 1: that's the only divorce in Bachelor Nation as of right now,
Speaker 1: because I don't think Evan and Carley are officially divorced yet.
Speaker 1: I don't know yet. Um well, yeah, I mean it
Speaker 1: sounds like they're well I guess maybe just Bachelor Paradise
Speaker 1: is more recent than Oh, I guess that's not because
Speaker 1: like Tasia, Katie Claire, who else? Like I'm just naming Peter,
Speaker 1: I'm just naming leads that have been on the show
Speaker 1: since both of us have been in relationship. I miss book.
Speaker 1: I didn't mean. I didn't mean what I said. I
Speaker 1: think you just have more time to spend with another
Speaker 1: person on Bachelor in Paradise. See you kind of know
Speaker 1: what you're getting yourself into a little bit better than
Speaker 1: you do on the Bachelor and Bachelorette. But I guess
Speaker 1: I got some questions for you about the breakups specifically,
Speaker 1: so as we talked about a little bit, Tatian and
Speaker 1: Zach broke up, Katie and Blake broke up. What do
Speaker 1: you think lays ahead for all four of those individuals?
Speaker 1: Like I could see Tasha dating um, like I don't
Speaker 1: know Chris Pratt or something like that, like Chris is
Speaker 1: Chris Pratt married to Arnold Scharstenegger's daughter Chris Pratt type,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like I got it about
Speaker 1: Chris Evans. I think Chris Evans is single America. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like like an a list like a B list, bordering
Speaker 1: a list celebrity. I could see Tasha dating Zach. I
Speaker 1: don't know anything about Zach, so I'm going to leave
Speaker 1: that out. He seems like a nice guy. I could
Speaker 1: see him, I guess dating like some sort of like
Speaker 1: an inspirational speaker. Maybe just because Yeah, that seems nice.
Speaker 1: I like that he's that seems like a good life.
Speaker 1: I know it's it's always like sad to like, it's
Speaker 1: always sad to talk about future relationships after if someone
Speaker 1: just gets out of a relationship. But you know, we
Speaker 1: host a podcast and we're trying to create content, so
Speaker 1: we're gonna do it anyway. I think true. Here's I'm
Speaker 1: putting out in the universe right now. I love Chris
Speaker 1: Evans because he's a Boston guy, He's Captain America. He
Speaker 1: seems super he loves Tom Brady. He was doing an
Speaker 1: interview about how nervous he was to meet Tom Brady,
Speaker 1: and I was like, dude, I relate to this guy
Speaker 1: so hard. I need to meet him and hang out.
Speaker 1: I feel like him and I would be best friends.
Speaker 1: So for selfish purposes, what I need to happen now
Speaker 1: is I need Taisha to start dating Chris Evans so
Speaker 1: we can go on a double day and make all
Speaker 1: of my dreams come true. Like, Tasha, I love you
Speaker 1: and and I hope the best for you, but you
Speaker 1: need to do this for me. Okay, well yeah, let's
Speaker 1: willet into existence. Uh, Chris Evans, if you're listening to
Speaker 1: this podcast, and sure you know there's a chance um
Speaker 1: call just DM or slide and she'll answer, don't Yeah,
Speaker 1: But You're right, it is weird to talk about new
Speaker 1: relationshiphip new relationships for people that have just left relationships,
Speaker 1: but I think it's natural. Yeah. I mean, we're especially
Speaker 1: our lives, Like dude, our entire lives, our entire public
Speaker 1: lives is centered around our dating because that's what we're
Speaker 1: known for. We went on a dating show, so and
Speaker 1: I hope that they're doing all right, you know. And
Speaker 1: by the way, I hated that for so long, especially
Speaker 1: when I was single. Um being known for like to
Speaker 1: only be known because I went on a dating show,
Speaker 1: so that everyone only focuses on your dating life is
Speaker 1: like one of the most stressful things because like let's
Speaker 1: say you're like an athlete or something, when like all
Speaker 1: people care about is you playing the sport that you're
Speaker 1: an athlete in, and no one cares about like your
Speaker 1: personal life more or less. And dating is a very
Speaker 1: personal thing. So it's like the fact that people are
Speaker 1: so invested in both good and bad ways in that
Speaker 1: part of your life, Like when you're single, it just
Speaker 1: as an incredibly stressful experience. At least in my experience,
Speaker 1: it was incredibly stressful. So I I don't envy any
Speaker 1: of these people that just went through Rake ups. But
Speaker 1: did you see so Katie did this weird like twelve
Speaker 1: days of Messy thing um, which I think was a
Speaker 1: tribute to Taylor Swift. And on the last day she
Speaker 1: announced that she is dating another guy from her season
Speaker 1: that she sent home like week two. Have you seen that? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's this guy John, because wasn't there, Like yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, I got nothing for you. It's
Speaker 1: like the twelve Days of x IS or whatever. I mean,
Speaker 1: didn't she just break she just broke up with Blake,
Speaker 1: Like I don't know. I'm also like not the guy
Speaker 1: that it gets into, like the whole shade thing. Legitimately,
Speaker 1: I had like a hour and a half conversation with
Speaker 1: my other managers here Audrey's about the whole Jake, Jillen
Speaker 1: Hall and Taylor Swift thing, and like I was like,
Speaker 1: why is she throwing shade towards Jyllan Horror? Like apparently
Speaker 1: it was not a new song. It was a song
Speaker 1: that she wrote. But I saw something on line about
Speaker 1: how she was staring shade towards Jillen Hall and they
Speaker 1: did ten years ago. I don't know what the hell
Speaker 1: is going on. So anyway, the same thing, like I
Speaker 1: got no time for that, Like especially like guys that
Speaker 1: she dated on her season, like come on, they're just like,
Speaker 1: let's all, let's all move on here. She like added
Speaker 1: new lyrics or something that specifically referred to Jake Jillen Hall.
Speaker 1: I think is maybe what it was. Um, I think
Speaker 1: I don't know Katie, I don't know Blake, I don't
Speaker 1: know John. From what I've seen of all three of them,
Speaker 1: I like Blake. He seems like a nice guy. Not
Speaker 1: a big fan of Katie. Um, she just seems uh,
Speaker 1: for lack of a better word, and sufferable. And um,
Speaker 1: John seems really cool. I was creeping on John's instagram,
Speaker 1: I think earlier this morning, and he's like a skydiver.
Speaker 1: He flies planes. He you know, he does he We
Speaker 1: have a lot of shared interests. So John seems like
Speaker 1: a good guy. I just hope that Katie's got it
Speaker 1: figured out because I'm sure Blake was hurt from the breakup.
Speaker 1: I mean, how could you not be you were engaged
Speaker 1: to this person. I reached out to Blake and I
Speaker 1: was like, hey, man, like, I'm sorry you're going through this.
Speaker 1: I can't offer anything, but but if there's anthing I
Speaker 1: can do, let me know, and he always really nice.
Speaker 1: He's like, oh, yeah, you know, it's uh, it's a
Speaker 1: time of grieving. I don't know exactly what he said.
Speaker 1: He was like, yeah, I'm sad, but thanks for reaching out. It.
Speaker 1: So I like, Blake, Blake seems like a really nice guy.
Speaker 1: Who do you think broke up with? Who? I think?
Speaker 1: And do you have any inside knowledge on this, seeing
Speaker 1: how you're talking directly to the source. No, I've I've
Speaker 1: literally exchanged two messages with Blake I cot and it's
Speaker 1: actually pretty funny. I congratulated him for getting engaged. I said, hey, May, congratulations.
Speaker 1: You seem like a really cool guy. And then the
Speaker 1: next message, I'm sorry that you guys broke up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he was like, oh, thanks so much. Like I've
Speaker 1: you know, people have compared us because you know, we're
Speaker 1: like being outside. And that was the end of the conversation.
Speaker 1: And then like three months later I's text right message
Speaker 1: of again. I was like, hey man, sorry about your breakup.
Speaker 1: So those are two messages in a row, one congratulating again,
Speaker 1: one grieving with it. So I don't know anything about
Speaker 1: it anything. I have got no inside Scoop. I would
Speaker 1: say though, that Katie is probably the one that broke
Speaker 1: up with Blake. Blake seems like the kind of guy, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: he like you know, they live in very far off
Speaker 1: lands from each other, once in California, ones in Canada.
Speaker 1: I love that. I use to stay in the country
Speaker 1: to compare places. That's not really how it should work.
Speaker 1: But I don't know what province Blake lives in, so
Speaker 1: um so that's that's obviously not a good thing. But
Speaker 1: Blake was like going to Africa that all this time. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, It's just it's just I feel
Speaker 1: like Blake would have like tried to make it work.
Speaker 1: And it seems like Katie was the one that instigated
Speaker 1: the breakup and now she's like posting about her new
Speaker 1: boyfriend like a couple of weeks after the breakup. So yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, for for not having any information about anything
Speaker 1: when it comes to this kind of stuff, it seems
Speaker 1: like Katie's being, um a little tacky with everything. I
Speaker 1: think a lot of times when people leave Bachelor So
Speaker 1: maybe paradise this helps because you have more time to
Speaker 1: talk about it. But it just seems like long distance
Speaker 1: becomes such a great issue in a relationship, specifically when
Speaker 1: people leave Bachelor, which makes sense, of course, because the
Speaker 1: location of where you live is extremely important. And I'm
Speaker 1: not even talking just about Katie and Blake because I
Speaker 1: have no idea if if the distance was really the
Speaker 1: grease of the issue. But it's crazy to me because
Speaker 1: I remember being on the show thinking, you know, once
Speaker 1: we started getting into like the final six with Caitlin,
Speaker 1: like it was gonna be like we had conversations about
Speaker 1: like would you live in Rhode Island if she wanted
Speaker 1: to live in Nashville, and it was like, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: I could see myself being Nashville for a while, but
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to go back, and like it never
Speaker 1: got serious obviously, but like those conversations were actively happening,
Speaker 1: and I don't know, it's just like I feel like
Speaker 1: it happens multiple times when two people, like they get
Speaker 1: engaged on the show and then they leave and they're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well I don't want to move, and the other person's like,
Speaker 1: well I don't want to move, and you're like, you
Speaker 1: guys didn't think about that, Like you didn't. I know,
Speaker 1: it's so heavy, and you know, everything is so heightened
Speaker 1: and you're in the same location, so I guess you're
Speaker 1: not really thinking too far ahead. But damn, that's crazy.
Speaker 1: Like I remember, I had to I had to move
Speaker 1: to I had to stay in l a f ash
Speaker 1: which sense, it's like, I gotta make a decision. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna stay in Los Angeles for a little while. And
Speaker 1: then she was like, great, and then I'll move to
Speaker 1: a Rhode Island for you years down the down the line,
Speaker 1: and now here we are now in Rhode Island. I
Speaker 1: think a big um, I agree with everything you just said.
Speaker 1: I think another benefiting factor for something like Bachelor in
Speaker 1: Paradise is if you go on the Bachelor Bachelorette, you
Speaker 1: and you come off the show in a relationship, and
Speaker 1: then the show starts airing and you start getting all
Speaker 1: this attention and whatever. It's like kind of a lot
Speaker 1: to take on all the same time while also fostering
Speaker 1: a new relationship. And so the the perk of Bachelor
Speaker 1: in Paradise, which I think is seldom spoken about, is
Speaker 1: you've already kind of had that experience of like going
Speaker 1: on TV and like dealing with the aftermath of being
Speaker 1: on TV, and like people you know, talking about you
Speaker 1: on social media and like all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: So it kind of gives you like an added perspective
Speaker 1: going into it. So there's no you know, like like
Speaker 1: when I came off the show the first time, I
Speaker 1: was like going to bars and girls were like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, that's the guy from TV. And I'm like
Speaker 1: walking around, you know, strutting around, thinking I'm like the
Speaker 1: coolest guy in the world. Like people are talking about me,
Speaker 1: girls are like buying me drinks, um, and eventually, like
Speaker 1: that gets old. So like I was, I had a
Speaker 1: good experience of like going on the show, having my
Speaker 1: fun for a year or two and now I'm very
Speaker 1: happily in a relationship with Kalen. But if you were
Speaker 1: to leave the show in a relationship, you can't really
Speaker 1: like get to take in all of the weird fun
Speaker 1: that you can experience from going on TV for the
Speaker 1: first time, you know what I mean. It's a fair point,
Speaker 1: you know, getting attention from the opposite sex, or as
Speaker 1: great as it was to get attention from girls, whenever
Speaker 1: a guy came up to me, it made me so
Speaker 1: much happier. Yeah, what I meant was in terms of
Speaker 1: like the temptation of crossing that line into cheating, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, not to you know, make the
Speaker 1: accusations that anybody who's breaking up breaking over that reason.
Speaker 1: But I can totally see as that would be. You know,
Speaker 1: you're out with like other guys that were on your season,
Speaker 1: and like women are just flocking towards them, and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: and the same thing with women. I'm sure there are
Speaker 1: guys like I'm sure there are a lot of girls
Speaker 1: that leave the show once they get engaged and they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, I could have had that guy, I could
Speaker 1: have had that football player or something like that. No,
Speaker 1: I agree, and I guess I just to be clear,
Speaker 1: I wasn't specifically talking about hooking up, but that obviously
Speaker 1: is a side effect of it, even just like the
Speaker 1: attention you get from every anyone, it's just like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's fun, and it's just it would be it would
Speaker 1: be challenging to do that while also fostering a new
Speaker 1: relationship for the first time. It's a lot of first
Speaker 1: to be dealing with. So it's like such uncharted territory,
Speaker 1: uncharted waters, like you don't know what to expect, and
Speaker 1: yet here you are expected to navigate a relationship successfully,
Speaker 1: like in a in a way, it's like kind of bad,
Speaker 1: like not bad, but like being the last person to you,
Speaker 1: like be standing on the show is like it's a
Speaker 1: it's a lot of work. So I don't know, I
Speaker 1: feel bad for everyone that breaks up. I guess yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean it's not especially being in the spotlight. But
Speaker 1: moral of the story is Batchel in Paradise seems to
Speaker 1: be the healthiest way to uh blossom a relationship coming
Speaker 1: from the Bachelor franchise, that's it seems to be the
Speaker 1: good one. Let's segue into a hot topic. Let's do
Speaker 1: one of these before we take a break and get
Speaker 1: into emails. There's something I wanted to talk about from
Speaker 1: a Daily Mail article that talks about a relationship Coats
Speaker 1: that says that there are five mistakes that apparently can
Speaker 1: lower your sex appeal and the five things men and
Speaker 1: women can do that make them appear unsexy. I feel
Speaker 1: like I do this constantly. I feel my least sexiest
Speaker 1: I think right now that I've felt in a very
Speaker 1: long time. I'm not working out as much, I'm pale,
Speaker 1: I'm not eating as well as I should be because
Speaker 1: I'm working so much, and then when I'm not working
Speaker 1: on with my pregnant wife who only wants to e McDonald's.
Speaker 1: It's not a good time to be the the nutritionist
Speaker 1: in Jared Haven's life. But that's okay. Hey, it's gonna
Speaker 1: almost a new year, my friend. So he talks about
Speaker 1: first the first thing that he goes into this relationship
Speaker 1: coach that says one of the five mistakes that can
Speaker 1: lower your sex appeal is sleep deprivation. A lack of
Speaker 1: sleep was listed as the number one reason why your
Speaker 1: sex appeal might dip. Quote. Not only does it dull
Speaker 1: our skin and decrease our energy, but it also has
Speaker 1: been proven to decrease the appearance of our general attractiveness, health,
Speaker 1: and emotion. Generally speaking, fatigue and sleep deprivation can make
Speaker 1: you appear less attractive totally. Like when I wake up
Speaker 1: after like a horrible night's rest, I look at myself
Speaker 1: in the mirror, and I'm disgusting. I look like I
Speaker 1: look like what do I look like? I look like Frankenstein.
Speaker 1: I look like a troll. I look like a gremlin.
Speaker 1: That's what I look like. Yeah, Yeah, I'm right there
Speaker 1: with you. Every morning I wake up, and I walked
Speaker 1: into the bathroom and I look in the mirror and
Speaker 1: I think today is the day I'm gonna be really
Speaker 1: proud of the man that I'm looking at in the mirror.
Speaker 1: And it just hasn't happened in a long time. Kayln uh.
Speaker 1: I was running around the bedroom naked the other day
Speaker 1: and Caylyn got my phone and was taking pictures of
Speaker 1: me like running away, and um, I just felt really
Speaker 1: bad for her. Honestly, I felt bad that she has
Speaker 1: to look at that whenever I am unclothed. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to look at it. I wouldn't want to
Speaker 1: look at myself. I'm Harry. I'm like, especially like the
Speaker 1: male body compared to a woman's body. Now, obviously I'm
Speaker 1: a straight man, so I'm attracted to women, so I'm biased,
Speaker 1: But like, I don't know, like I just feel like, God,
Speaker 1: we we smell, We're disgusting, We're Harry, We're like Gangaly.
Speaker 1: Do you ever see that Seinfeld episode? Yeah, I know
Speaker 1: men are not supposed to walk around naked, h and
Speaker 1: especially like well I mean not t m I, but like,
Speaker 1: you know, the penis itself, It's just like when it's
Speaker 1: just there, like, I don't know why as a woman,
Speaker 1: why would you want to be I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know how you can like it. Hey, as a
Speaker 1: married man with a child on the way, how often
Speaker 1: do you how often do you man escape? Oh a
Speaker 1: long time, my friend. I feel like posting that meme
Speaker 1: of Titanic on Twitter where it's like it's been eighty
Speaker 1: four years. I mean, actually I I did it last
Speaker 1: week for the first time in a long time, because
Speaker 1: it was like getting out of control. It was like forest,
Speaker 1: you know, like you guys like getting to the was
Speaker 1: it getting to the point where like your pubic hair
Speaker 1: is longer than your dangle or yeah. I was like,
Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta control. I gotta like man up
Speaker 1: and like really take care of myself because I'm I'm
Speaker 1: letting myself go. So I did. I had a nice
Speaker 1: day to my myself and you know, showered and took
Speaker 1: care of everything and felt really good afterwards. So I
Speaker 1: feel like I need to start doing that more often.
Speaker 1: It is it is, um just what We're just gonna
Speaker 1: keep going with the tm my conversation here after doing
Speaker 1: the manscaping down there, it just is nice to look
Speaker 1: down because it just looks, um, it just looks a
Speaker 1: little bigger. You know, there's less clutter, there's less less
Speaker 1: things to compare it in length to, and it just
Speaker 1: looks bigger as just as simple as that. So I
Speaker 1: should probably go upstairs afterwards into some escaping after this,
Speaker 1: just to get the confidence boost. But every guy can
Speaker 1: relate to what team just said. Number two, having a
Speaker 1: negative attitude can apparently lower your sex appeal. So this
Speaker 1: this uh missward is her name. The relationship coach said
Speaker 1: that being kind and approachable to others will boost your
Speaker 1: sex appeal, while negative attitude will lowern With this in mind,
Speaker 1: it is important to be positive and open minded when
Speaker 1: dating to make a great first impression. Mean girls and
Speaker 1: mean guys of course they finished last. Okay, Well, they
Speaker 1: often are portrayed as the intimidating, lee attractive one in
Speaker 1: Hollywood or other big budget movies. A perspective, partner with
Speaker 1: a nasty disposition is likely to have lower sex appeal.
Speaker 1: She said, Yeah, that's an interesting one to me. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. I find guys with the negative attitude,
Speaker 1: they I feel like women are more attracted to them
Speaker 1: in the beginning. I'm not going to let go of
Speaker 1: that trope. I think it's true. I think girls like
Speaker 1: a bad boy. Um. I think I'm gonna respectfully disagree.
Speaker 1: I think that if if I were to think back
Speaker 1: to my single days, one of the traits that, in
Speaker 1: my opinion, made me more attractive to other people was
Speaker 1: my sunny disposition, if you will, um, and I made
Speaker 1: note of that too. I always say, I think like
Speaker 1: an altruistic mentality is one of the most attractive things
Speaker 1: anyone could always have, any one could ever have. So
Speaker 1: I disagree. I think the nice guys should and will
Speaker 1: continue to finish first. I mean, I like that, you know. Well,
Speaker 1: here is the reason I was basing that off of
Speaker 1: was because whenever I'd go out with Nick when I
Speaker 1: was single, women would flock to Nick because you know Nick,
Speaker 1: he likes dans. First of all, the way he stands.
Speaker 1: This guy he stands with like his pelvic out, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. It's just like he's just like
Speaker 1: this aura, this energy he's putting out this vibe. But
Speaker 1: he's like very quiet, standoffish, and I think women find
Speaker 1: him mysteriously attractive. Now he's like a big teddy bear
Speaker 1: because he's with Natalie, and he's just like the you know,
Speaker 1: he's just an emotional man. He's a big teddy bear.
Speaker 1: But um, But then when you were saying, how oh,
Speaker 1: I disagree, and then I thought about it, I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, you know, why when Nick and I
Speaker 1: would go out, women would be more attracted to him
Speaker 1: because he's more attractive. And that's okay. You know, I
Speaker 1: was gonna I was gonna say that, um, and I
Speaker 1: was confident in myself, but you know Nick's stud I was,
Speaker 1: I was not going to spare your feelings and say
Speaker 1: exactly what you said. Nick. I mean, let's be real.
Speaker 1: Nick is more more attractive than both of us. He's
Speaker 1: probably one of the more attractive people I know physically speaking.
Speaker 1: But you're right. He's got a little like somber attitude,
Speaker 1: kind of like uh yeah, like a little shy guy,
Speaker 1: stand off fish mentality when he's like out at the
Speaker 1: bars and stuff. See, I I disagree, I think, not
Speaker 1: with me, but Dean. When when I think of peaked
Speaker 1: Dean and like I said, I'm a heater, like I'm
Speaker 1: a straight man, but like I I appreciate the beautifulness
Speaker 1: of a man who has clothes on because like we
Speaker 1: talked about, like without clothes. I don't get it, but
Speaker 1: I say, peaked Dean is better than peaked Nick. Sorry Nick,
Speaker 1: Nick like your stud but peeked Dean. And you want
Speaker 1: to know why? You think that is? Because I've got
Speaker 1: the sunny disposition and he's got the mean stand off
Speaker 1: his attitude. Yep, So it all goes back to number two.
Speaker 1: You're absolutely right, having a negative attitude with lower your
Speaker 1: sex appeal. All right, let's let's get through these last
Speaker 1: three pretty quickly before we take a break. Number three,
Speaker 1: Playing mind games. Playing the game is often a strategy
Speaker 1: both men and women take when dating, but it's likely
Speaker 1: to backfire and it's not gonna benefit for your sex appeal.
Speaker 1: Quote treating the mean, treating them mean, and keeping them
Speaker 1: keen doesn't do anything to raise your appeal, just as
Speaker 1: playing games going hot and cold, manipulating tact ext and
Speaker 1: sending mixed signals will also erode your appeal. I agree.
Speaker 1: Once you like start getting older and you're playing this game,
Speaker 1: it's so unattractive Reading these, um, this list makes me
Speaker 1: just so happy I'm in a relationship. Like being single,
Speaker 1: it just sounds exhausting. You have to like think about
Speaker 1: all this all this stuff all the time. Hey, by
Speaker 1: the way, where are you Are you in like a
Speaker 1: like a hospital closet or something, I'm kind of looks
Speaker 1: like one. Actually, I'm actually in the office of our
Speaker 1: coffee shopping launch, working all day and night, and I
Speaker 1: got the lowest here. I don't know if I can
Speaker 1: lift up my computer. Are you oh, hey, Lois? Are you? Um? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I see like a big white blur. I figure that's here.
Speaker 1: Are you drinking a cup of coffee right now? I
Speaker 1: was not anymore? I had I had an ice caramel
Speaker 1: de lishum. All right, Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: to the fourth one. Four. So fourth is slouching, if
Speaker 1: you may realize, your posture and how you hold yourself
Speaker 1: also impacts your sex appeal and can make you appear
Speaker 1: less attractive. Miss Wart says, body languages, everything, and something
Speaker 1: as small as slouched shoulders can lower your sex appeal. Instead,
Speaker 1: stand up straight and sure your chin is up, and
Speaker 1: do not sit with your arms folded. So that's a
Speaker 1: big one too. I just feel like, especially in today's
Speaker 1: day and age with technology, everyone just like huddled in
Speaker 1: and on their phone constantly and like sitting on their
Speaker 1: desk on their computer. They just like slouch all the time.
Speaker 1: I need to constantly remind myself to fix my posture
Speaker 1: so all the time anytime I see like guys who
Speaker 1: are like very you know, like military guys who have
Speaker 1: jacked and like shoulders up and like, damn, I really
Speaker 1: like I need to fix myself up. I need to
Speaker 1: put my posture up. I need to stick my chest
Speaker 1: out like I need to stand. I need to like
Speaker 1: have a you know, have an aura about me, be
Speaker 1: like I'm I'm I'm I'm Jared. But instead I just
Speaker 1: slouched and I'm like, oh hi. That's like the interview
Speaker 1: tip to you know, like people always be like before
Speaker 1: you go an interview, go into the bathroom and like
Speaker 1: stand with your hands over your head and scream as
Speaker 1: loud as you can, and you're gonna get like the
Speaker 1: serotonin boost you need to go when and crush you interview.
Speaker 1: I feel like that kind of is in the same
Speaker 1: vein as the non slouching UH. Number five of the
Speaker 1: fifth and final is stress and complaining. Miss Ward said
Speaker 1: that complaining or feeling stress can give off negative energy
Speaker 1: and repel others around you, regardless of you're a man
Speaker 1: or a woman, it's important to boost your sex appeal
Speaker 1: by having a positive attitude, controlling your stress levels, and
Speaker 1: keeping complaints to a minimum. I think the kind of
Speaker 1: goes hand in hand with the second one, which is
Speaker 1: just having a negative attitude. But yeah, I mean, no
Speaker 1: one wants you to like put your stress onto them,
Speaker 1: like that's the worst. Yeah, nobody likes a complainer, well
Speaker 1: except for unless you have a pregnant life. Then she
Speaker 1: has the hall pass to complain as much as she wants. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean she definitely has all fast. I watched her
Speaker 1: go to bed and try to fall asleep with that belly,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, this poor thing and her hips
Speaker 1: are stunning to bother or now, just like pregnancy is crazy, man,
Speaker 1: you should see like not t m I, but we
Speaker 1: talked about it, like it's just it's there. Her body
Speaker 1: is changing in ways I never thought possible. What is
Speaker 1: the most um, and you can feel free to just
Speaker 1: plead the fifth on this one. What is the most
Speaker 1: disgusting thing you've see in her do so far? Ah? Well,
Speaker 1: I've so uh. I have seen her throw up in
Speaker 1: p at the same time. Um, that was at least
Speaker 1: she's sitting on a toilet. She was throwing up and
Speaker 1: like on her knees in the bathroom and then like
Speaker 1: you know, she let me know. She was like, I
Speaker 1: just pete and then I saw and I was like, yep, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: that happened. That is happening, because it's crazy, man, Your
Speaker 1: body like and there's all these stories about pregnancy that
Speaker 1: nobody ever tells you, Like, that's just what happens. Your
Speaker 1: body kind of loses control a little bit. Like she
Speaker 1: can't she literally can't control it. She'll sneeze, She'll be like,
Speaker 1: I just pete, and I'm like what She's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't control it. Like anytime I have like a
Speaker 1: like you know, a violent you know, a sudden uh
Speaker 1: like burst in my body. Just pe allright, cool whatever, Yeah,
Speaker 1: kudos to every woman because that sounds insane, not fun,
Speaker 1: not fun at all. But we're gonna take a quick
Speaker 1: break so we can stop talking about Ashley peeing, and
Speaker 1: we're gonna come back and answer your emails, which of
Speaker 1: course is Dean's favorite part. All right, welcome back to
Speaker 1: help I suck at dating. We have two emails coming
Speaker 1: right at you. I don't think Mark is here Eastern
Speaker 1: Are you here? Do you want to read some emails? Buddy?
Speaker 1: You out in the universe? Hey, buddy, would you like
Speaker 1: to treat some emails for us? Yeah? I love this.
Speaker 1: I love affirmed that way. Come on, let's I'm a
Speaker 1: good boy. Um, all right, here's here's an email from
Speaker 1: I hope this is Rica, Right, Rica, let's go. Let's
Speaker 1: go that Riki ch I choose you. Long story short,
Speaker 1: I dated my ex for three years. We broke up
Speaker 1: because he had to move to a different country. Two
Speaker 1: years later, I'm dating someone new. I love this guy
Speaker 1: and he makes me very happy. But a week ago,
Speaker 1: I received a text from my ex telling me he
Speaker 1: just recently moved back and would love to catch up
Speaker 1: next Sunday. At first, I was like, this is absolutely
Speaker 1: not happening. If the roles were reversed, there's no way
Speaker 1: I would be comfortable with my boyfriend meeting up with
Speaker 1: an X. Then there's this other side where I think
Speaker 1: about myself and what I want, and I do want
Speaker 1: to meet up. I talked to my boyfriend about it,
Speaker 1: and he was so understanding and told me maybe I
Speaker 1: need some kind of closure and that he's secure in
Speaker 1: our relationship and that I can go. But now I've
Speaker 1: been texting my ex ever since. I'm starting to catch
Speaker 1: myself counting down the days, obsessing over what I'm going
Speaker 1: to wear. I'm nervous about what he'll say when he
Speaker 1: sees me. It's starting to feel wrong. Am I already
Speaker 1: emotionally cheating? Oh? Well, it's not a good It's not
Speaker 1: a good sign. Rica. I don't know if I like
Speaker 1: where this is going. Um. I would say, if you
Speaker 1: have these feelings of excitement and anticipation for meeting up
Speaker 1: with your ex, maybe you should. And you like your
Speaker 1: current boyfriend enough um to want to stay with him.
Speaker 1: I would almost say cancel on the X because it
Speaker 1: sounds like this is starting down a very slippery slope,
Speaker 1: and that slippery slope is gonna lead you into something bad.
Speaker 1: That's my take. Yeah. I mean it's nicely you talked
Speaker 1: to your boyfriend about it and he was really understanding.
Speaker 1: Good for him, because I don't know how understanding I
Speaker 1: would have been about it, and that maybe you needed
Speaker 1: some type of closure. Uh yeah, I don't know. You're
Speaker 1: way too excited, Rica. I'm so sorry to tell you this,
Speaker 1: but it's you're not emotionally cheating. But it's getting to
Speaker 1: that line. And if you guys meet up, I think
Speaker 1: it's only going to make the situation worse because then
Speaker 1: your emotions are gonna run high, something could happen that
Speaker 1: you might regret, or you just suddenly want to get
Speaker 1: back together with your ex. Um. I think, unfortunately, you're
Speaker 1: probably gonna have to try to make a decision before
Speaker 1: meeting up with your ex whether you're willing to risk
Speaker 1: the relationship you're currently in or not. Also, Um, before
Speaker 1: I want, I want to get easton steak. I just
Speaker 1: want to highlight one quick part of the email where
Speaker 1: she says, at first, I was like, this is absolutely
Speaker 1: not happening. If the roles are reversed, there's no way
Speaker 1: I would be comfortable with my boyfriend meeting up with
Speaker 1: an X. And I want to say, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: psychologist one on one Dean Unglert over here is the
Speaker 1: reason you feel that way is because you don't trust
Speaker 1: yourself to meet up with your ex. And so that's
Speaker 1: why you don't trust your boyfriend to meet up with
Speaker 1: one of his exes. So I think that you kind
Speaker 1: of already know how you feel, and it's just I mean, hey,
Speaker 1: maybe the X is the person that you're supposed to
Speaker 1: be with, But if you're getting this excited, it sounds
Speaker 1: like you're on the way out of the creent relationship
Speaker 1: that you're in. But Eastern, what's your take on it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I'm with you, guys. I I think that
Speaker 1: if you, um, if you are not into your current
Speaker 1: boyfriend but you see yourself wanting to get back with
Speaker 1: this X, then you should end that relationship and then
Speaker 1: explore that. But if you if you're very happy in
Speaker 1: your current relationship, I would not meet up with this X.
Speaker 1: I have a hot take, UM, and I know the
Speaker 1: boyfriend is the one who propose this, But I I
Speaker 1: think I don't think anyone ever needs closure. Whenever I
Speaker 1: hear someone say I need a closure, I I get
Speaker 1: so annoyed. I hate that idea. I don't think it's necessary.
Speaker 1: I think anytime someone says that, like, oh, we broke
Speaker 1: up and then you know he's been texting me, I
Speaker 1: think we should meet up just for closure. No, that
Speaker 1: just means you want to spend time with this person again.
Speaker 1: Like like, I don't know that. It's not like it's
Speaker 1: a it's you know, you're closing escrow in a house
Speaker 1: you need to find allay some papers like, that's not
Speaker 1: I don't think that's a real thing. Like the relationships
Speaker 1: over maybe you don't know why it ended. But if
Speaker 1: that's the case, then just move on. I'm sorry. I
Speaker 1: hate whatever anyone says they need closure. I love that
Speaker 1: you just said that, because I couldn't agree more. I
Speaker 1: think if you guys are chasing, if you're chasing closure,
Speaker 1: you're chasing something that doesn't exist. You're never gonna get closure. Yes, yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna sit firmly in the other camp. I think
Speaker 1: closure is a very real thing, and I have experienced
Speaker 1: closure in the past, so I think closure is real. Well,
Speaker 1: explain to us then, so you had I'm assuming you
Speaker 1: met up with the next like, still undecided whether you
Speaker 1: wanted to be together, and then you left meeting up
Speaker 1: with that X realizing I don't want to be with
Speaker 1: this person. Precisely that yeah, exactly right. Um I It's
Speaker 1: happened to me a couple of times. Actually, you know,
Speaker 1: dated someone broke up, time war on as it as
Speaker 1: it usually does, and then um it brought us back
Speaker 1: together eventually. And it's one of those things where you
Speaker 1: know we've talked about in the past where on the
Speaker 1: podcast in the past, where you break up with someone
Speaker 1: and you can't help but romanticizing your relationship with them,
Speaker 1: so you only think about the good times you've had
Speaker 1: with them, you forget about all the bad times. Then
Speaker 1: you start to think to yourself, well, why do we
Speaker 1: break up in the first place if all I remember
Speaker 1: things to be so positive? And then you text them
Speaker 1: or call them or meet up or do whatever. Uh,
Speaker 1: you hang out and you're like, wait, no, this this
Speaker 1: is exactly why we broke up because we're awful together.
Speaker 1: And so that's kind of like the closure that you
Speaker 1: need to get you like remind yourself that the relationship
Speaker 1: was doomed from the start. So it's happened to me
Speaker 1: multiple times. Um, I'm you know, I'm sure girls that
Speaker 1: I've dated have gotten closure from hanging out with me
Speaker 1: again at some point too, So I'm pro closure. I
Speaker 1: think closure is a very real thing. I feel like
Speaker 1: that's got to be so rare though, the idea of
Speaker 1: two people hanging out and then being like, oh, never mind,
Speaker 1: this didn't work out, because like, like what about the
Speaker 1: other person that you hung out with? Did they want
Speaker 1: to get back together with you. I feel like anytime
Speaker 1: you need closure, one person wants to be in the
Speaker 1: relationship and the other person doesn't. If that is the case, yeah,
Speaker 1: if I if I'm gonna recall it a hundred percent, honestly,
Speaker 1: I would say, at the times I've gotten closure, it's
Speaker 1: been me saying I don't want to be in a
Speaker 1: relationship and then being upset by it. But again, it's
Speaker 1: it's a revisionist history. It's me bringing my my form
Speaker 1: of it. Um, so I agree with you. I think,
Speaker 1: you know, one person might want to be in the
Speaker 1: relationship and then the other person isn't, and it's more
Speaker 1: of them just getting you know, reminding themselves that they
Speaker 1: don't want to be in the relationship. In my case,
Speaker 1: that's how it seemed. Hm, Okay, I get I get that.
Speaker 1: I get that, But um that doesn't mean I have
Speaker 1: to abide by you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna by
Speaker 1: the end of I'm gonna get you guys to buy
Speaker 1: into the idea of closure. That's my goal. I'm it's
Speaker 1: been old two just contacting every girl of every day
Speaker 1: and be like, I think I need some closure here
Speaker 1: that's all I can think about. When when Dean said
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get you to believe inclosure, I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: I actually is not gonna like this. Well, you guys
Speaker 1: don't need closure. You you've already closed everything some people,
Speaker 1: especially me, since I suck at dating as much as
Speaker 1: I do, or at least as much as I did,
Speaker 1: because I don't think I do as much anymore. At
Speaker 1: least I was constantly needing closure because I was never
Speaker 1: doing a good enough job of getting closure the first
Speaker 1: time around. You know what they mean, Like, you guys
Speaker 1: are a lot more mature, a lot more intelligent. Um,
Speaker 1: it's a lot more direct than I'm capable of being.
Speaker 1: So you've never had the requirement to get closure from anyone.
Speaker 1: I don't want to believe of this anymore. But I
Speaker 1: would like someone to contact me asking for closure. I
Speaker 1: think that'd be nice. Like, you know, I would like
Speaker 1: to be headhunted in a in a job at some point,
Speaker 1: and then i'd also like a girl to ask for closure.
Speaker 1: I would like that. Well, it's it's a little challenging
Speaker 1: for you at this point in your life because you've
Speaker 1: been married for so long. It's been like a decade
Speaker 1: since I've dated somebody else, so you know they'd come
Speaker 1: out of the world work they still exist. We're surprised.
Speaker 1: I'm surprised no one has. I'm sorry to interrupt your
Speaker 1: your final email reading as no one has considering your
Speaker 1: um you know you're your rise to success and fan
Speaker 1: you're you know you're working so closely to Ryan Seacrest,
Speaker 1: I could see like a scorn deck reaching out and
Speaker 1: being like, that's supposed to be my guy. I need
Speaker 1: to get some closure from him. I think everyone that
Speaker 1: I dated in the relationship ended, they were more than
Speaker 1: happy to get out of that deal and they wish
Speaker 1: me well. All right, let to move on to Ellie.
Speaker 1: I have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend
Speaker 1: for just over a year. I'm twenty six, he's thirty two.
Speaker 1: A few months ago, I opened up to my boyfriend
Speaker 1: about my dad leaving when I was a kid and
Speaker 1: how I'm still processing a lot of resentment even though
Speaker 1: I haven't been in contact with my father since he left.
Speaker 1: This is a big deal for me because I never
Speaker 1: talked about my dad to anyone. A few days ago,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend told me that our conversation that after our conversation,
Speaker 1: he researched my dad and ended up finding him. Long
Speaker 1: story short, my boyfriend ended up contacting my dad. I
Speaker 1: never asked for this, and to say I was upset
Speaker 1: with my boyfriend would be an understatement. I feel like
Speaker 1: he crossed so many lines and inserted himself in new
Speaker 1: situation he knows almost nothing about. My boyfriend keeps telling
Speaker 1: me he was just trying to help me reconnect with
Speaker 1: my dad, But I genuinely don't know how to move
Speaker 1: forward with my boyfriend. Am I overreacting? Should I give
Speaker 1: my boyfriend the benefit of the doubt and try to
Speaker 1: work through this help? UM, I'll tackle this one first again.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've been monopolizing UM these responses so far,
Speaker 1: so I'm just gonna keep going with it anyways. UM.
Speaker 1: And the reason I want to respond to at first
Speaker 1: is because I've actually experienced exactly what Elliot has just
Speaker 1: gone through as well. UM. One of my former relationships
Speaker 1: was very adamant about meeting my dad and she was like,
Speaker 1: we're we were like in my hometown and she was like,
Speaker 1: We're not leaving this town until we meet up with
Speaker 1: your dad for breakfast. And I was like, I really
Speaker 1: don't want to do that, Like I haven't seen him
Speaker 1: in years. I'm not going to enjoy it, Like you're
Speaker 1: not gonna enjoy it, He's probably not gonna enjoy it,
Speaker 1: Like there's no point in it. Um. Fast forward a
Speaker 1: couple of days, we end up meeting with him on
Speaker 1: our way out of town, and it just went as
Speaker 1: miserably as I expected it too. And then afterwards, I
Speaker 1: like was resenting my partner for having encouraged the idea
Speaker 1: to meet up with my dad, So it was like
Speaker 1: it it was miserable all around, just like I know
Speaker 1: it was going to be, and then they kind of
Speaker 1: like festered and the resentment continued and crew and all
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. So I I'm not a fan
Speaker 1: of it at all, Like you know, I would never
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just don't like it. What do
Speaker 1: you guys think? I think people step over boundaries and
Speaker 1: don't even realize it, and they just try to help
Speaker 1: so badly, but they're actually hurting. I feel like sometimes
Speaker 1: the worst things come from the best intentions, and I
Speaker 1: feel like this is another case of that where this
Speaker 1: boyfriend was like, no, I'm gonna make this right, and
Speaker 1: it's like well, it's not your place to make it right,
Speaker 1: and I hope you can respect and understand that. And
Speaker 1: some people, again, they have the right intentions, but that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean they're doing the right thing. And sometimes they
Speaker 1: make it about themselves without even realizing it, like the
Speaker 1: person that you were with Dean in your hometown. And
Speaker 1: even if they did it unintentionally and felt guilty about
Speaker 1: it afterwards, they really were making that about themselves because
Speaker 1: they were like, no, I'm gonna make this better for you,
Speaker 1: and it's like, well, that's not really your call or
Speaker 1: your decision. It's my decision. It's my relationship with my parents.
Speaker 1: And I hope you can understand that and trust me.
Speaker 1: I will let you know if I want you to
Speaker 1: help further with it. But I think that's an example
Speaker 1: of this where Ellie, you have every right to be
Speaker 1: upset with your boyfriend. I hope that you guys can
Speaker 1: reconcile this because I'm sure he was again trying to help,
Speaker 1: So maybe this is a learning curve for him and
Speaker 1: for you your relationship moving forward. I don't think you're
Speaker 1: over reacting though, um two words shared heart degree, Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, look at that. I'm the same page. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're in the handholding club here. This is uh. I
Speaker 1: guarantee the boyfriend had this image in his head like
Speaker 1: it's going to be like Oprah when like tire Banks
Speaker 1: is on and she's like, I had this teacher that
Speaker 1: really affected me, and I never got into the like
Speaker 1: that we've brought the teacher out, you know, like that
Speaker 1: kind of thing. No, the I guarantee this woman, Ellie,
Speaker 1: knows how to contact her dad if she wants. It's
Speaker 1: not like he was like in hiding or something like.
Speaker 1: I guarantee she can find him. That wasn't the problem.
Speaker 1: The problem is being at a point where she's ready
Speaker 1: to have this person in her life again. Uh. And
Speaker 1: I think that has to come from her father or
Speaker 1: from her reaching out. The boyfriend really stepped over a line,
Speaker 1: and she's a percent in the right for being upset
Speaker 1: with him. But I also think she needs to be
Speaker 1: direct and and be like, hey, I really didn't want
Speaker 1: this to happen. I this was not okay for you
Speaker 1: to do, because if she keeps it to herself and
Speaker 1: then she's just gonna resent him and it's going to
Speaker 1: be negative. But um, yeah, this dude was being clueless
Speaker 1: and I don't think he did it maliciously, but but
Speaker 1: also like, come on, bro, you know you can't. This
Speaker 1: is not your place to be doing something like this. Well,
Speaker 1: so that I guess that raises the question then, is
Speaker 1: do you think that it came from a good place,
Speaker 1: like did the boyfriend do it well intentioned? Or like
Speaker 1: you said, was he trying to make it more about
Speaker 1: him than it was about trying to reconnect that too,
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's half and half. I
Speaker 1: think I think he was trying to be helpful. I
Speaker 1: think he was like, oh, this person is having like
Speaker 1: could you imagine not having your father in your life?
Speaker 1: How how horrible that would be. I'm going to fix this.
Speaker 1: But then like I think he's like having to be
Speaker 1: the hero that reconnects this family. You know it's gonna
Speaker 1: because you know, and that's that's messed up. I don't
Speaker 1: think those two things are mutually exclusive. Like I think
Speaker 1: that he can be doing it with the best intentions
Speaker 1: but also simultaneously making it about himself. Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1: I think it's just not not a fun position to being.
Speaker 1: But all right, well that's that's great. Thanks guys for
Speaker 1: emailing um Ellie Rika Chiu, thank you so much for emailing.
Speaker 1: Keep the emails flying. I Sucker Dating at ihart media
Speaker 1: dot com. Um Am, I gonna get scorned for saying this.
Speaker 1: Big thank you to Katie Blake, Tasia and Zach for
Speaker 1: giving us something to talk about today. Easton has always
Speaker 1: thanks for jumping in and reading some emails and just uh,
Speaker 1: you know, doing all the sound engineering on all this
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. If you if you are a scorned
Speaker 1: X of Easton's and you are looking for some closure,
Speaker 1: just shoot an email I Sucker Dating at iHeart media
Speaker 1: dot com. Perhaps we can discuss on air here else
Speaker 1: you guys want. Gina Goss, Caitlyn Garcia, um, who else,
Speaker 1: Kitlin McCormick, Janine Bray and you guys out there listening,
Speaker 1: give me a call. It's a lot of excess. That's
Speaker 1: a lot of excess. Yeah, dang heast In, Good for
Speaker 1: you man. Yeah, if any of you ladies want to
Speaker 1: jump on here, UM I Sucker Dating at ihart media
Speaker 1: dot com, or just text me directly and we can
Speaker 1: you know, get this interview rolling on the podcast here
Speaker 1: and you can really be Oprah and be like Eastern
Speaker 1: doesn't know. But here is a lineup of your hex girlfriends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that would be absolutely amazing. Anyways, thank you guys so
Speaker 1: much for listening to this week's episode of Help I
Speaker 1: Suck at Dating. We hope you had a great Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: We can't wait to talk to you next week, where
Speaker 1: maybe we suck just a little bit less. Follow help
Speaker 1: by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to podcast