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Speaker 1: You don't hear me.

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Speaker 2: Confession. I can't take back el arms speak.

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Speaker 3: Got a text into seven eight five nine two that says,

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Speaker 3: every day when I cook food, I pretend I'm on

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Speaker 3: a cooking show, awesome. I explain all the steps out loud, crack,

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Speaker 3: occasional jokes.

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Speaker 1: I like it.

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Speaker 3: I even have my catchphrase, hey, hey, hey, flombey away, Hey,

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Speaker 3: can't wait.

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Speaker 1: To see you on the Food Network.

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Speaker 3: I'm just picturing their significant other though in the other room, like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: Damien's doing his weird it's literally cereal. But you know,

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Speaker 3: if you have a secret cooking show you're ashamed to

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Speaker 3: show the world, you can always crack open the pantry

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Speaker 3: right here on the mass speaker, and one of our

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Speaker 3: listeners wants to serve up a confession for us, and

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Speaker 3: they've chosen the fake name Matthew. So, Matthew, welcome to

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Speaker 3: the show.

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Speaker 2: Many good.

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Speaker 1: I think the real question is, how's it going for you? Matthew.

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Speaker 2: It's pretty cool, pretty cool.

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Speaker 1: Even with a voice changer, you are chill.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, sounds like a smooth talker. Yeah, Matthew, the voice

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Speaker 3: change is on. You're the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready

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Speaker 3: to go, ahead, tell us your confession.

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Speaker 2: Okay, uh, well I've been a waited for about eight years.

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Speaker 1: You've been a waiter, you say, yes, okay, they call

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Speaker 1: themselves servers nowadays, but well it's eight years. I mean starting.

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Speaker 1: Do you like it? Do you like your job?

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Speaker 2: I like my job, But sometimes you get a lot

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Speaker 2: of rude and condescending customers.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, brook and her family have to go out and

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Speaker 3: eat something.

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Speaker 1: Just like people with money to spend like that can

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Speaker 1: also be pretty entitled.

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Speaker 3: Brooks, Like our table's ready when you carry me to

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Speaker 3: That is annoying, I'm sure, man.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, some real rude people are very condescending.

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Speaker 2: Like you said, it gets real bad. And you know

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Speaker 2: sometimes people go about getting a revenge on them and

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Speaker 2: stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: You mean people that you work with.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know as a way that there's only so

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Speaker 2: much you can do now, tampering with someone's food and

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Speaker 2: anything like that, Like I couldn't do that. Yeah, good

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Speaker 2: to hear.

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Speaker 1: And that's just and it's bad karma. Yeah, you don't

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Speaker 1: want to lower yourself to their level or below.

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Speaker 2: Come on exactly, And I think it's that's so elementary.

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Speaker 1: Oh so you're above it. You have a more maniacal player.

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Speaker 3: This is you know, this isn't a diner b.

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Speaker 2: I mean, well I have I have gotten my you know,

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Speaker 2: revenge in other ways.

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Speaker 3: Okay, what are we talking about?

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Speaker 1: It sounds like this is a confession.

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Speaker 2: All right. Well, I've only done this a few times, right,

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Speaker 2: only the customers that were really, really mean to me.

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Speaker 2: That's the only times I really done this. But when

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Speaker 2: the check comes, you know the area with gratuity, eat

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Speaker 2: the tip. I just put like a ridiculous amount in

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Speaker 2: that box, like twenty thousand dollars and.

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Speaker 1: No legal Wait a minute, yeah, no one's gonna notice

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Speaker 1: that on.

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Speaker 3: Their credit cards. Some credit cards don't even have that

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Speaker 3: kind of limit. Yeah, you're the richest server in world,

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Speaker 3: or make six figures a day?

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Speaker 1: Are you teasing?

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Speaker 3: There's no way. No one's gonna not.

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Speaker 1: Notice, what I mean, even if you're Jeff Bezos, You're

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Speaker 1: gonna notice twenty grand.

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Speaker 2: Just the thing though, I don't get the money at all,

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Speaker 2: but it just becomes a huge inconvenience for the customer.

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Speaker 2: What do you mean, They got to deal with issues

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Speaker 2: with their bank. Sometimes the cards get locked for a

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Speaker 2: few eights.

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Speaker 3: That's oh my god, that's brilliant, because your bank's not

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Speaker 3: gonna let that slide, so the transaction doesn't actually go through.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so the couple of seconds, a couple of minutes

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Speaker 2: of giving me a headache turns into a day or

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Speaker 2: two of them having a headache.

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Speaker 3: Oh really, so the bank will be like, look, there's fraud.

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Speaker 3: Could you imagine getting that call from like the Olive Garden, like, sir,

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Speaker 3: did you spend twenty thousand dollars on pasta?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? But aren't you going to get caught? They know

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Speaker 1: who their waiter is. I mean, you're the only other

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Speaker 1: one that handles the check.

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Speaker 2: Nah. But it's not like a big thing to where

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Speaker 2: they're going to do like a huge investigation anything like that.

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Speaker 3: I guess I could see that, Like it'd be one

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Speaker 3: thing if you were actually getting twenty grand and really

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Speaker 3: skimming money from these people. But since you're not really

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Speaker 3: getting that tip, it's like, you know, oh I.

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Speaker 1: Put it in wraw forging to twenty thousand dollars tip

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Speaker 1: seems like a big enough thing for.

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Speaker 3: Me to claim it on them that they accidentally put

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Speaker 3: too many zeros.

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Speaker 1: That sloppy, right, So I love that Alexis has an

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Speaker 1: excuse for Yeah.

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Speaker 2: They usually see it as like a simple mistake.

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Speaker 3: Wow, you like make their lives miserable ford just a.

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Speaker 1: Few, but they do end up getting the meal for

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Speaker 1: free because the bank probably has to like avoid the

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Speaker 1: exaction point. So yeah, just the restaurants.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, have you ever almost like you've never been caught

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Speaker 3: doing this ever.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that's crazy that you said that, because the very

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Speaker 2: last time I was going to do it, and this

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Speaker 2: guy was a total like I don't know if I

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Speaker 2: can say duche on the radio.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sure that was. That was almost the title of

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Speaker 1: our show in the morning.

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Speaker 2: Right. Yeah. He was real, real rude and super super entitled.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so you wrote the tip in for twenty grand

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Speaker 1: like you do.

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Speaker 2: I was planning on it and I was about to

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Speaker 2: do it. He kind of like got up to leave

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Speaker 2: or whatever, and like when he adjusted his jacket I've

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Speaker 2: seen his belt and on his belt it was a

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Speaker 2: police bag.

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Speaker 1: Oh you got to be careful who you're messing with

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Speaker 1: and what kind of resources they have behind and.

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Speaker 3: Then watch investigation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah so you didn't do it. I just took his badge.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Man, I gotta say when I thought of servers

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Speaker 3: getting revenge, I never would have come up with something

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Speaker 3: like that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean yeah, yeah, for the rector.

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Speaker 2: This is a quick message you know, all the listeners

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Speaker 2: out there. I know a lot of people are listening

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Speaker 2: right now. Trust me when I tell you really want

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Speaker 2: to treat your waiters and waitresses, servers, whatever you decide

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Speaker 2: to call us. You really want to treat us fairly

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Speaker 2: and treat us like human beings, you know. Yeah, oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: because the revenge is always on the line like that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. It's a good, good message and also a threat,

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Speaker 1: right yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Make sure that you write in the twenty thousand dollars

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Speaker 3: tip on your own or the way you're going to do.

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Speaker 2: Nine too.

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Speaker 3: If you have a confession you've been holding on to,

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Speaker 3: we'll hide your identity, mask your voice, and make you

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Speaker 3: the next mass speaker phone taps coming up next