1 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:21,640 Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the 2 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,159 Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheekies. I'm here to give you 3 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe 4 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with 5 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how 6 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,600 Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business, 7 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember 8 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering 9 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from 10 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave 11 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: your question at the sound of the beat. 12 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 2: Hi, Cheeky. 13 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 3: So, I lost my mom back in twenty twelve, and 14 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 3: I also took care of my sisters. I was eighteen 15 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 3: years old going on nineteen. She passed away ten days 16 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:10,399 Speaker 3: before my birthday. And lately I've been feeling like grieving. 17 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 3: All of a sudden, I'm grieving my mom's death and 18 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 3: it's hitting me harder and I don't know, Like, I 19 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 3: was just wondering if you ever go through the same thing, 20 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:25,039 Speaker 3: like you took care of your sister and your brothers, 21 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 3: and you took on that role, that mom role. Do 22 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 3: you sometimes feel like you didn't have time to grieve, 23 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 3: and sometimes it just out of nowhere it comes. It's 24 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:41,240 Speaker 3: just nice to know what other people that been through 25 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 3: the same thing feel. I admire you so much because honestly, 26 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 3: you've come a long way, and I'm trying to do 27 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 3: the same. I graduated, got my associate, I'm done a 28 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 3: good job. I'm trying to go back to school and 29 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 3: get my bachelor. 30 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 2: But I don't know. 31 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 3: Sometimes I feel like I like I. 32 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: A therapy s Lowly, Oh my gosh. Therapy is not 33 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,360 Speaker 1: a bad thing like sometimes you said, Oh, sometimes they 34 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 1: feel like a need therapy. It's not a bad thing. 35 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:13,080 Speaker 1: It's a good thing. But it's completely normal what you're feeling. 36 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,519 Speaker 1: First of all, awesome, look at you doing all these things. 37 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: That's freaking amazing. Congratulations, especially with what you've been through 38 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: and like losing your mom and then having to raise 39 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: your siblings like you should be very proud of yourself. 40 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,520 Speaker 1: I'm proud of you, and I don't even know you, 41 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,240 Speaker 1: but I feel very proud. So congratulations for that felusy 42 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: that is. And yes, it's completely normal. I will tell 43 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: you I'm very honest about how I felt when my 44 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 1: mom passed away. I was very upset at her for 45 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 1: how things were for me in twenty thirteen and a 46 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: little bit in twenty fourteen, and then I started a 47 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,840 Speaker 1: healing process and I did a lot of therapy, and 48 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,680 Speaker 1: because I was on survival mode for so long taking 49 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,680 Speaker 1: care of my siblings, I had to be strong for them. 50 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,680 Speaker 1: I felt like, yes, I wasn't able to grieve, and 51 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 1: not only that, because I was so upset. And when 52 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,639 Speaker 1: I let all that go and I left those bags 53 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 1: of resentment, I left them and freaking buried them, all 54 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 1: the emotions of like, oh my gosh, my mom, I 55 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 1: need her, and I just felt it a lot, and 56 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 1: little by little I started healing. And there are still 57 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:17,960 Speaker 1: times even now that it's going to be you know, 58 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: it's twelve years. I still get those moments when I'm 59 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 1: driving and I'll listen to a song or i'll see something. 60 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:27,239 Speaker 1: I'll pass by the street that we used to exit 61 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,079 Speaker 1: to go to her house, and I'm just like, oh 62 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,640 Speaker 1: my gosh, she's not here, and I'll just start like 63 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: I get a little bit of like a panic attack, 64 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: and I have to like I'm like it's okay, Like 65 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 1: I have to talk my way through it. It still happens, 66 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: and I think it's going to happen forever because for 67 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: one of my siblings' birthdays and I'm like, why isn't 68 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: she here? Or to see my nieces grow up and 69 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: all these things. There are moments when it comes back, 70 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: and it's completely normal. It's part of grieving, it's part 71 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: of healing, and not only that, celebrating and remembering your 72 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 1: loved ones. So you are completely fine. It is normal. 73 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,119 Speaker 1: But I highly you do suggest to do therapy. It's 74 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 1: going to only help and help you process your thoughts 75 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: and your feelings. So if you can do that, that 76 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 1: would be awesome. But don't think there's anything wrong, because 77 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 1: there isn't. Your mom is with you, and if you 78 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,559 Speaker 1: see something that reminds you of her, or you listen 79 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: to a song or something, or you see your mother 80 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: and one of your siblings smiles, because I do all 81 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 1: the time. Like those are just little heaven messages I feel, 82 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,840 Speaker 1: so yeah, just embrace it, embrace it and cry if 83 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 1: you need to cry, Babe, cry because I do. I 84 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,960 Speaker 1: love to cry. Just makes yourself feel better and lighter. 85 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:34,280 Speaker 2: But thank you for your. 86 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 1: Question, Loe, I appreciate it and I'm sending you a 87 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 1: big healing hug. Okay, okay, guys. Next question comes from Luisa. 88 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 2: Hi, cheekys. This is like the fourth time that I'm 89 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 2: trying to record this. I'm so nervous. I'm being your 90 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 2: fan since you started singing I love your mom. I 91 00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:02,039 Speaker 2: wash your entire reality show, the New One. I was 92 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 2: raped when I was seven. I haven't talked to about 93 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 2: this with absolutely nobody. My brother raped me when I 94 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 2: was seven, and my friend and I'm being married for 95 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:20,680 Speaker 2: twenty six years and my husband doesn't even know that 96 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 2: this happened to me because I'm ashamed. I don't know 97 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 2: if I should talk to him about this. I'm not 98 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 2: sure if I should. I know it had affect or 99 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:37,640 Speaker 2: sexual life, and I always lie to him about different stuff. 100 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 2: That the reason for I don't know what to do. 101 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 2: I don't know if I should share this with him. 102 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 1: Or not me. Louisa, you definitely should share it with 103 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 1: your husband. First of all, it was not your fault, 104 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,039 Speaker 1: and you should not feel ashamed because it was not 105 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:56,039 Speaker 1: your fault. What happened to you was completely out of 106 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 1: your control. You were seven years old, and I'm so 107 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,600 Speaker 1: sorry that that happened like, I'm so sorry. I know 108 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:12,479 Speaker 1: how much that can affect us, but I do. I do, 109 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: And if you listen to the podcast, you know that 110 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 1: I always say and recommend therapy it is it is 111 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,280 Speaker 1: life changing or life coaching, anything where you can go 112 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: and talk to people, because what's happening right now is 113 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: you're not bringing this to the light. You're burying it, 114 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:28,479 Speaker 1: and it's weighing you down and it's not allowing you 115 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,520 Speaker 1: to become your best self, to live to your full potential. 116 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: And not only that, it's affecting your relationship with your husband. 117 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 1: And he's the most intimate person in your life. So 118 00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:39,800 Speaker 1: I highly recommend that you have a conversation with him 119 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: and you tell him. Even if you cry, He's not 120 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 1: you were seven years old. He's not going to look 121 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: at you any different. If anything, he might even love 122 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: you more. It'll bring you guys together, It'll help in 123 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 1: your intimacy, Like if you talk to him about this, 124 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,839 Speaker 1: then maybe he'll know how to touch you or what 125 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 1: is it that you want or what makes you feel uncomfortable, 126 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,840 Speaker 1: Like you need to talk to him about this. He 127 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,600 Speaker 1: needs to know. I really do think so. And if 128 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 1: you don't even have to tell anyone else but you 129 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 1: bringing it to him and bringing this to light will 130 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: help heal it. What like diminishes darkness is light. So 131 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 1: when you bring things to light, it will, like little 132 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 1: by little, diminish the darkness. And and that's what I 133 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: highly recommend that you do. And also there is a 134 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,239 Speaker 1: rape Abuse and Incest National Network that you can call. 135 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 1: Their number is one eight hundred six five six hope. 136 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 1: One eight hundred six five six hope, okay, or one 137 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: eight hundred six five six four six seven three. That's 138 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 1: a number if you still don't feel comfortable yet talking 139 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 1: to your husband after listening. Hopefully you're able to listen 140 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 1: to the podcast and listen to my response, but maybe 141 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,120 Speaker 1: call them if you You know, don't make you feel better, 142 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 1: but I do think that it would be really good 143 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,480 Speaker 1: for you, for your heart, for your healing, for your future, 144 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: for your relationship to talk about this. And I need 145 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 1: you to know that this is not your fault and 146 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: it does not make you any less valuable at all 147 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: at all. You are valuable and you are beautiful, and 148 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 1: you are not broken. I need you to know that 149 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 1: because for a long time I felt broken and you 150 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:20,120 Speaker 1: are not broken, Okay, Luisa, and please have the conversation. 151 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: Keep me updated. Not because I want to be nosy, 152 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 1: but I just want to know if you were able 153 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 1: to talk to him, because I know it's it's definitely 154 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 1: going to help so much. He's gonna understand you on 155 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 1: a different level. I promise you. Good luck. Okay, guys, 156 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 1: next question comes from Chris. 157 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,080 Speaker 2: What's your favorite scary movie? 158 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:49,840 Speaker 1: Chris, my favorite scary movie, Oh my gosh. Well, my 159 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 1: least favorite scary movie, I'll tell you is Freddy Krueger 160 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,680 Speaker 1: The Nightmare or whatever, the elm straight one. Oh my gosh. 161 00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:57,680 Speaker 1: She tortured me in my dreams and I just couldn't 162 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Anyways, So my favorite scary movie. Hmm, 163 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 1: such a good question. Now that I've gotten older, I'm 164 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 1: not like watching scary movies the way I used to 165 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: because like my spirituality and like I have this whole 166 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 1: thing before I used to love scary movies. So I 167 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: haven't watched one in a long time. I think the 168 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,559 Speaker 1: last one that I watched and I really really enjoyed 169 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:22,439 Speaker 1: was The Ring. I That was one of the very 170 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 1: I think last scary movies I think that I really enjoyed. 171 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 1: So I would probably have to say the ring Chris 172 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 1: for sure. 173 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 2: That's cool. 174 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 1: Different type of question, guys. That's why I loved your 175 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 1: Cheekies because you never know what you're gonna get. And 176 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: that's the truth is that I don't listen to the 177 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:38,200 Speaker 1: questions beforehand. I listened to them as you guys are 178 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 1: listening to them. So anyway, if you have a question, 179 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: please leave it at speakpipe dot com slash Cheeks and 180 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 1: Chill podcast. As you can see, it could be about anything. 181 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 1: I love you, guys, and I will see you on 182 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:57,800 Speaker 1: the next episode of Your Cheekys Vesitos. This is a 183 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:02,319 Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio and the Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow 184 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow me 185 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 1: Cheeky's That's c h I q U i s. For 186 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 1: more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 187 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and check 188 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 1: us out on YouTube.