WEBVTT - Lactose Lies & Pizza Crimes

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<v Speaker 1>Get your hands together and we're going to start to party.

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<v Speaker 2>Start.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm ready to party the Elvis Duran after party.

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<v Speaker 4>Are you ready for a podcast day? Andrew?

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<v Speaker 2>Guys, you're looking rather spelt today. Oh shoot, thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the shirt. It's the shirt.

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<v Speaker 4>It's not easy being green.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, kermit, that made a lot of sense.

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<v Speaker 5>I was talking about shirt is green?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah for this audio, Andrew, you bring us questions all

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<v Speaker 1>the time, and I love them.

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<v Speaker 4>They're so thought provoking.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, this one's not. But I'm just gonna say it anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>What is something that you know you shouldn't have but

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<v Speaker 2>you still have anyway? And I'll tell you what my

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<v Speaker 2>is because I just did it. I am allergic to apples.

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<v Speaker 2>I just devoured an apple. I feel like I am

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<v Speaker 2>having some I don't have appen. No, it's not like

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<v Speaker 2>it's not like die bad. It's more just like annoying bad,

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<v Speaker 2>you know. So I have an allergy to apples most fruits, actually,

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<v Speaker 2>if I don't wash them well enough. And Abby said

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<v Speaker 2>she washed it. But my mouth is now on fire

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<v Speaker 2>and I can't stop getting a little.

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<v Speaker 4>You like apples that much that you're willing to deal

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<v Speaker 4>with this?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, they're delicious, like a honeycrisp apple. Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 2>it doesn't close as much as it just gets like irritated,

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<v Speaker 2>Like it just feels like there's like a tickle in

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<v Speaker 2>my throat and my whole mouth just feels like my

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<v Speaker 2>lips feel like they're on fire.

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<v Speaker 6>My favorite is giving him cereal when it's fruit in it,

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<v Speaker 6>and I don't tell.

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<v Speaker 5>Them why is that? Why is that nice?

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<v Speaker 4>Because he's not really allergic to stuff poison your co host?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, oh my god, Yeah, I knew it from the start,

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<v Speaker 2>but you never You could never have a meal with

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<v Speaker 2>his daughter Cooper, because apparently just eat apples.

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<v Speaker 6>So much, apple up so much.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, luckily if it's parade or boiled, that's when I

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<v Speaker 2>can have it.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, what is it about the apple skin?

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<v Speaker 2>I've always been told it's the pesticide, But that seems

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<v Speaker 2>like just like a granola mom thing that.

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<v Speaker 3>Would be a lot, that would be on a lot

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<v Speaker 3>of things.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, so so he has that problem with a lot

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<v Speaker 5>of fruit.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, any fruit. If I don't wash it well enough,

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<v Speaker 2>I have the same things.

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<v Speaker 7>It's organic and then you won't have that problem.

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<v Speaker 3>So it might not be apples you're allergic to might

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<v Speaker 3>be pesticide that you're allergic to.

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<v Speaker 2>So my granola mom is right, it's interesting.

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<v Speaker 4>Skin off the apple, you're okay, yeah, but that's.

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<v Speaker 2>Just such a process. Like what am I doing if

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<v Speaker 2>I'm skinny?

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<v Speaker 4>Irritated?

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<v Speaker 2>No?

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<v Speaker 5>What if you just cut the apple and then only

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<v Speaker 5>eat to.

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<v Speaker 2>The skin, then it's gonna like I don't know. It

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<v Speaker 2>just feels like eating pizza and reading the crust.

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<v Speaker 4>You know it canna look like a raccoon.

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<v Speaker 6>You could also buy those little Chiquita packets. They're already

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<v Speaker 6>peeled for you. That's what I get for Cooper.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh my god, you're.

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<v Speaker 3>Cooper has a one, and you need to eat those

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<v Speaker 3>quickly because they turn brown.

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<v Speaker 6>They last for weeks, they do.

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<v Speaker 4>God.

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<v Speaker 7>And by the way, picides ibout eating brown bananas. They're

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<v Speaker 7>healthy for you.

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<v Speaker 4>There's a post the.

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<v Speaker 7>Browner the better. Yes, there's a there's these studies out

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<v Speaker 7>and at least for years, I love to eat.

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<v Speaker 2>What are the studies? Where are they from?

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<v Speaker 7>No, they're all over the place.

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<v Speaker 8>They say that is a special chemical and the chemical

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<v Speaker 8>is cancer fighting.

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<v Speaker 4>Which journal did you read this out?

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<v Speaker 5>I was just making a joke about the brown or

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<v Speaker 5>the better, But I'm.

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<v Speaker 7>Down with the brown.

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<v Speaker 4>All right, Well, you look up journal that you use.

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<v Speaker 4>Which medical journal you got?

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<v Speaker 7>The Journal of Mexico Medicans.

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<v Speaker 2>The question again, what's something that you know you shouldn't

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<v Speaker 2>have but you have Anyways?

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<v Speaker 4>Me sugar.

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<v Speaker 1>I cannot help myself when we have somebody bring as

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<v Speaker 1>pastries or sweets, I inhale it like a coke fiend

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<v Speaker 1>in the movie Scarface, Dia pushing my head into a

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<v Speaker 1>pile of cocaine, and it's and I cannot help myself.

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<v Speaker 1>I just go and go and go to the point

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<v Speaker 1>where now I feel like garbage because we just had

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<v Speaker 1>some stuff here a little bit.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, mine is mozzarella, really, because I don't think it's.

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<v Speaker 4>No.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know. My lactose thing is weird because it's

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<v Speaker 3>kind of like you, like, I'm allergic to I can't

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<v Speaker 3>drink straight milk, but I can have ice cream. It

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<v Speaker 3>doesn't make any sense, but that's how it is. It's

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<v Speaker 3>weird and certain things. But no, the mozzarella, I am

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<v Speaker 3>pretty sure it adds to my migraine problems. But yet,

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<v Speaker 3>if somebody brings in the best pieces of pizza that

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<v Speaker 3>I've ever seen, I'm still gonna eat it, even though

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<v Speaker 3>I know the next day I may have a headache. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>it doesn't matter to me. It's worth it.

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<v Speaker 2>I think glactose is the number one thing that people

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<v Speaker 2>are like, I'm just gonna do it anyway, Like could

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<v Speaker 2>you really give up pizza? I could never give up pizza.

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<v Speaker 2>I'd rather like you could take my pinky, one of

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<v Speaker 2>the pinkies I give one.

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<v Speaker 6>If most people aren't actually allergic to lactose, they're intolerant

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<v Speaker 6>to it. So you're not gonna die of eat, You're

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<v Speaker 6>just gonna poop everywhere.

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<v Speaker 3>Take pills, do help. Yeah, but it also, like I said,

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<v Speaker 3>for me, it's a migraine trigger too.

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<v Speaker 8>I got a moral answer, and I have a dietary

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<v Speaker 8>answer for diet reasons.

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<v Speaker 2>Is that clariton? By the way, Yes, can.

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<v Speaker 4>I have it?

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<v Speaker 5>Yes? This is part of my.

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<v Speaker 8>Oh, chocolate covered almonds. I eat them like by the

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<v Speaker 8>by the bag. I'll just pop them like like frigging

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<v Speaker 8>potato chips.

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<v Speaker 7>Mom, keep going.

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<v Speaker 8>I liked all they because they're they're real. I mean

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<v Speaker 8>that the chocolate in the chocolate covered almond.

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<v Speaker 7>Is bad for you.

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<v Speaker 8>Almond not so much, but the chocolate no good. I'll

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<v Speaker 8>tell you what else is not good morally.

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<v Speaker 7>Octopus. I'm sorry. I love grilled octopus, and Gandi made me.

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<v Speaker 7>Donni made me feel guilty.

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<v Speaker 8>The other day because she said that they're so smart

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<v Speaker 8>and they're so advanced. They are, and we shouldn't be

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<v Speaker 8>eating octopus. Well, it's a guilty pleasure of mine. I

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<v Speaker 8>come from a Mediterranean family. I love it poured and

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<v Speaker 8>olive oil. When it's cooked the right way, it's nice

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<v Speaker 8>and tender. It's not like they yell described because she's

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<v Speaker 8>been eating it the wrong way.

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<v Speaker 4>A nice restaurant, grilled grilled.

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<v Speaker 8>Octopus, nice and tender, so good.

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<v Speaker 4>Can't give it up?

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<v Speaker 8>My my, my love for the taste of octopus outweighs

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<v Speaker 8>my I feel love.

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<v Speaker 3>The taste of human flesh.

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<v Speaker 4>You know, what would you do?

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<v Speaker 3>Would you just keep eating it?

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<v Speaker 7>Even eat yourself? No, Gandhi, Yeah, I know you staring

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<v Speaker 7>at me. You give it. You're just judging, silently judging.

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<v Speaker 5>No, listen, I love cows. I eat cows every now

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<v Speaker 5>and then.

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<v Speaker 7>How are smart?

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<v Speaker 5>I know so our pigs are, all of them. I

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<v Speaker 5>get it, they're all smart.

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<v Speaker 9>I'm not judging you any more than I normally do.

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<v Speaker 8>Okay, just so you know if we only eat stupid animals,

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<v Speaker 8>it will be turkeys and pandas and other things that

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<v Speaker 8>other animals.

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<v Speaker 2>They're all dona.

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<v Speaker 5>Pandas are quite stupid.

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<v Speaker 8>They're all dumb turkeys. Turkey is the only thing that

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<v Speaker 8>we put in our mouth is protein. That is dumb

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<v Speaker 8>that we eat. Everything else that we eat in protein

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<v Speaker 8>is smart.

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<v Speaker 3>Do we walk around killing old dumps?

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<v Speaker 9>So we can't choosing?

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<v Speaker 5>Picking and choosing, but it's it's yeah, I get it.

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<v Speaker 5>Your octopus, great delicious memes.

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<v Speaker 7>I push all day.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, is there anything Scotti or Gandhi? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 9>I carry these everywhere I go because I should not

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<v Speaker 9>be touching dogs because I am allergic, but I refuse.

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<v Speaker 5>To not touch the dog.

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<v Speaker 9>So I have allergy medicine because I'm responsible, Danielle. When

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<v Speaker 9>I'm allergic to something, I carry the cure everywhere I go.

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<v Speaker 9>I backpacked my desk because if a dog comes by,

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<v Speaker 9>I'm touching it.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I can't not touch them. You guys were here

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<v Speaker 5>the other day.

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<v Speaker 9>When Sawyer came in Scotti's dog and he must not

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<v Speaker 9>have bathed for months. I don't know what was going on,

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<v Speaker 9>but he got me. I kind of breathe my nose

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<v Speaker 9>was running.

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<v Speaker 5>I kept sneezing. It was so bad. Even with my medicine,

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<v Speaker 5>it was bad.

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<v Speaker 1>See that really does surprise me because you came in here.

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<v Speaker 1>Your eyes were legitimately red, which is a huge sign

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<v Speaker 1>of allergic reaction. And I just couldn't I couldn't fathom

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<v Speaker 1>doing that to myself because I know the distress I

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<v Speaker 1>get in.

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<v Speaker 5>I can feel my lungs closing.

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<v Speaker 6>His hair was very long.

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<v Speaker 2>Then.

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<v Speaker 6>I've since gotten him cut, so I can bring him

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<v Speaker 6>in again if you'd like.

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<v Speaker 5>How many times?

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<v Speaker 4>Okay?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I would never give up penny dogs either. You

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<v Speaker 2>could take the other pinky first ones for dogs, the

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<v Speaker 2>other ones for pizza.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that should be the next podcast.

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<v Speaker 4>What appendage are you willing to lose?

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<v Speaker 2>Pinkies?

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<v Speaker 5>Okay?

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<v Speaker 4>What do we need for that pinky toe?

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<v Speaker 2>I'll go the toe are important for me balance.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, you need them to swear.

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<v Speaker 9>I'd give up my ear lobes pinky swear them for anything.

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<v Speaker 7>Would are yours attached?

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<v Speaker 5>No, I'm kind of. I think you can clip them.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, take Danielle.

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<v Speaker 3>I gotta think about this.

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<v Speaker 4>Yank out a fingernail right now.

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<v Speaker 7>Not none of your digits. You need every single one

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<v Speaker 7>of them.

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<v Speaker 2>Not your pinkies.

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<v Speaker 5>Your ring fingers pretty useless.

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<v Speaker 4>Look I pick, yeah, Japan, which is the finger that

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<v Speaker 4>the yak chops off?

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<v Speaker 2>I could not tell you that one. I was never

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<v Speaker 2>encountered that.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, the Japanese mafia. They chop off a finger in

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<v Speaker 4>order to have you joined them.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, I think it's.

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<v Speaker 4>The pinky really.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean you could write with how do you right?

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<v Speaker 2>If you need your whole hand?

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<v Speaker 5>You've seen our sales guy right.

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<v Speaker 2>Every time.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if you can zoom Indiana. But he

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<v Speaker 1>holds a pin like this. I've never seen a grown

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<v Speaker 1>man hold a pin.

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<v Speaker 4>Where was school like this?

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<v Speaker 5>My parents will let me hang out with those kids

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<v Speaker 5>and kindergaar rightly? So you see how he holds a fork.

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<v Speaker 2>It's insane. I got in trouble so much growing up

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<v Speaker 2>for holding my fork the wrong way.

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<v Speaker 6>Oh my dad used to stab me in the hand

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<v Speaker 6>if I did it wrong.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, like this, you.

0:09:36.440 --> 0:09:38.720
<v Speaker 7>Just hold it like that a fist and just.

0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:41.840
<v Speaker 4>Like an orphan in a musical.

0:09:42.920 --> 0:09:45.280
<v Speaker 2>Yes, okay, I just do I never did it, and

0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:46.480
<v Speaker 2>then I got yelled at too much.

0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:48.800
<v Speaker 5>Nate, you were right.

0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:51.599
<v Speaker 9>It's a portion of the left pinky finger and a

0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:57.480
<v Speaker 9>ritual call the fingers shorten ink think you.

0:09:57.600 --> 0:09:59.560
<v Speaker 5>Sounds terrible, but they use a really sharp knife.

0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:02.760
<v Speaker 4>So okay, okay, sounds sounds fine.

0:10:03.160 --> 0:10:03.400
<v Speaker 2>Great.

0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:04.040
<v Speaker 4>Are we done?

0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:10.040
<v Speaker 2>I didn't go Scott, we are done.

0:10:11.520 --> 0:10:16.520
<v Speaker 6>By No, I just I took your question completely different.

0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:17.320
<v Speaker 2>Uh, here we go.

0:10:17.640 --> 0:10:19.240
<v Speaker 6>Well, No, the first thing that popped into my head

0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:21.240
<v Speaker 6>was Roman candles. I have a box of them in

0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:23.560
<v Speaker 6>my garage. You said, what is something you have that

0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:25.960
<v Speaker 6>you shouldn't And I shouldn't have a box of Roman

0:10:25.960 --> 0:10:28.000
<v Speaker 6>candles in my garage because they're illegal and they make

0:10:28.040 --> 0:10:28.520
<v Speaker 6>me scared.

0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:31.040
<v Speaker 9>Okay, if anyone's going to blow off a finger, it

0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:31.839
<v Speaker 9>is going to be Scott.

0:10:32.040 --> 0:10:33.720
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. How old are those Roman candles?

0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:35.400
<v Speaker 6>They're a good number of years old at this point.

0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:36.640
<v Speaker 6>Because I don't know what to do with them. You

0:10:36.640 --> 0:10:38.880
<v Speaker 6>can't throw them out. I'm afraid to light them, and

0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:40.600
<v Speaker 6>I don't want to transport them in my car, so

0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:43.199
<v Speaker 6>I just leave them in the garage them away.

0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:44.240
<v Speaker 5>Are they older than Cooper?

0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:46.080
<v Speaker 6>No?

0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:48.880
<v Speaker 2>Did you get them in the nineties? No.

0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:50.679
<v Speaker 6>I got them in a fireworks store in Pennsylvania and

0:10:50.679 --> 0:10:52.199
<v Speaker 6>brought them home and then I just never did anything

0:10:52.200 --> 0:10:52.440
<v Speaker 6>with them.

0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:55.920
<v Speaker 2>I'll turn it, bro, you're so cool you would again.

0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:56.840
<v Speaker 2>It's the nineties.

0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:03.000
<v Speaker 6>I'm doing now, Yes, Glad I could add that.

0:11:04.000 --> 0:11:07.680
<v Speaker 8>By the elvist Ran after party.

0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:11.920
<v Speaker 4>H