WEBVTT - Infamous: Luke Parker 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:04.040 Ben Higgins and Ashley I bring you Infamous. 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:06.320 Sometimes roses are red Flags. 0:00:07.120 --> 0:00:11.440 Hey, everyone, welcome to another episode of Infamous. Sometimes Roses 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:14.239 are Red Flags. It's Ben and Ashley and we are 0:00:14.280 --> 0:00:17.639 here with you to dive a little deeper into some 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:20.800 of the characters that you either loved or loathed during 0:00:20.800 --> 0:00:24.520 the series. And today we are going back to Hannah 0:00:24.560 --> 0:00:30.240 Brown season of The Bachelorette. This cast member. Was he misunderstood? 0:00:30.360 --> 0:00:33.440 Has he changed? Well, today we will find out. Please 0:00:33.440 --> 0:00:37.120 welcome Luke Parker to the show, who we just did 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:40.720 a little chat with before we started recording. And Luke, 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:44.240 you are not just married, which we had seen headlines about, 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:47.239 but you are father. Congratulations, dam thank you. 0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:52.080 Yeah, it's been for all his fathers mothers out there. 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:57.400 You guys know, it's been quite the ride. Yes, old, Yeah, 0:00:57.440 --> 0:01:01.160 So I have a nine month old and currently my 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:03.120 wife is twenty two weeks pregnant. 0:01:04.319 --> 0:01:07.400 So we have we just found out wait. 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:11.880 The math eight math in there. You have a nine 0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:12.680 month old? 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:17.600 Yes, so we're two months away from I just learned 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:19.280 this term. I don't know if you guys know it, 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:21.640 but two months away from Irish twins. So if you 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:25.880 have two children, whether it's a border girl that are 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:30.000 within a year apart, then it's considered considered Irish twins. 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:31.360 But they're going to be fourteen months apart. 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:35.080 Okay, she's nine months and she's currently pregnant. So she 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:37.960 got pregnant. Okay, yeah, okay, so the math that is 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:42.080 technically math. I'm so sorry. I'm not a mathematician obviously, 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:46.720 but she got pregnant within two months of having your son. 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:49.680 No, it was not, it wasn't that close, but it 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:52.440 was within a few Yes. 0:01:53.360 --> 0:01:56.200 That's so she's twenty two weeks. Okay, again, I need 0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:56.640 a pen and. 0:01:56.680 --> 0:01:59.520 Paper as interesting as it is for Ashley to try 0:01:59.520 --> 0:02:00.320 to figure this out. 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:04.080 Yeah, I am fully embarrassed right now. 0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:07.040 You know, you're good. I'm not a math genius either. 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:09.440 He's roughly six months. 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:12.240 Okay, so sorry, I wasn't even thinking she's six months now, 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:14.160 and so there're gonna be three that she was she 0:02:14.200 --> 0:02:15.760 got pregnant at three or four months? 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:17.519 Okay, Okay, she was four months most part? 0:02:17.680 --> 0:02:19.760 Okay, okay, all right, that's not Actually the most out 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:20.359 righteous thing. 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:21.680 Was this planned? 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:22.240 Like? 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:24.639 Was this wanted to be this way? Okay? 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:28.360 Then does anybody plan that I don't think anybody plans 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:31.320 within four months of I. 0:02:31.240 --> 0:02:34.240 Mean when we had our daughter, Jessica, I was laying 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:36.720 in the hospital room and Jessica goes, let's do it again, 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:38.160 and I said, that's insane. 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:39.640 I just saw what your. 0:02:39.520 --> 0:02:42.360 Body did in the hospital room. 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:44.480 Yeah. She was like, this is the best. I would 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:46.360 do it a thousand times. And I'm like, you're your wife. 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:48.160 Is a chance you're crazy? 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:50.520 I saw this and I don't know how you would 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:53.440 even think about this right now. Luke So you have 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:56.720 a family, is this is Cooksville where you're from? 0:02:57.480 --> 0:02:57.560 No. 0:02:58.120 --> 0:03:03.800 So grew up Northeast Florida, like Jacksonville area, and then. 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:08.920 After college, bounced around. 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:10.640 Played college baseball, and then after college I moved to 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:13.560 North Georgia to be closer to family, and that's where 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:15.400 my older brother lived. He and I were super tight, 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:18.480 and then I was there for I want to say, 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:22.359 like three years, and then I went on the show. 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:26.880 And that's why on the show I say I'm from Gainesville, Georgia, 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:28.440 because that's where I lived at the time, but that 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:30.120 wasn't where I was reiginally from. And then for the 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:33.360 last five years I've been in Cookeville, Tennessee, and what 0:03:33.360 --> 0:03:39.440 brought me there was really CrossFit. I don't know if 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:43.320 you guys are familiar with CrossFit much, Yeah, but they're 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:46.840 like quote unquote Michael Jordan CrossFit is Rich Frohning is 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:51.920 a ten time Games Champion gold medalist and he owns 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:55.640 CrossFit Mayhem, which is like the most famous CrossFit gym 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:59.160 in the world. And his poor values on his business 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:02.440 are faith, family, fitness service. And I got to be 0:04:02.560 --> 0:04:04.720 a part of a few nonprofit events he was a 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:07.280 part of, and he invited me to come be a 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:09.760 part of the Mayhem family, and then he pretty much 0:04:09.920 --> 0:04:11.960 turned me into a professional cross the athlete. And that's 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:14.560 what I've been doing for like the last five years 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:18.400 of my life and actually currently in the transitional season 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:21.240 of my life, so going in a different direction and 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:22.160 competing across it. 0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:23.840 And that's as of like a week and a half ago. 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:24.840 Why is that. 0:04:26.080 --> 0:04:27.600 I just feel like Dad's calling me to the next 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:31.760 chapter of my life. And it's been a huge blessing 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:33.520 being a part of the Man family. And I'll always 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:36.919 be a part of the Mayhem family. And the connections 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:39.920 I've built here in Cookeville, I just you know, I 0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:45.000 got two sons now and got gotta start taking care 0:04:45.000 --> 0:04:46.720 of my family and focusing on some other things. 0:04:46.760 --> 0:04:49.640 So what's the difference between a cult and CrossFit? 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:54.279 Oh that's such a good question. 0:04:56.440 --> 0:04:59.760 Oh man, I could talk so much on that, but 0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:07.080 I'll keep it light. I'd say CrossFit's focus is obviously 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:11.360 just to build a strong community and be fit for life. Right, 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:14.240 So that's that's really why we do all the crazy 0:05:14.279 --> 0:05:14.880 fitness we do. 0:05:15.000 --> 0:05:16.760 But yeah, it does definitely seem like a cult. 0:05:18.040 --> 0:05:18.840 Yeah. 0:05:19.040 --> 0:05:24.200 So you became controversial on Hannah season not because you 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:26.640 weren't there for the wrong reasons. Everybody thought that you 0:05:26.680 --> 0:05:29.200 were there for the right reasons, right, And now you 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:33.000 have found your wife. How did you to meet. 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:38.880 That's a phenomenal question. So let me back up. So 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:41.159 I just kind of the story I just told of 0:05:41.800 --> 0:05:44.880 me going from North Georgia to Cookville, Tennessee and going 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:51.840 to pursue competitive CrossFit. I got invited f I'm rich 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:55.080 himself at a nonprofit event, and that same nonprofit event 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:58.440 the following year. Essentially it was like an OCR race, 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:01.200 which just stands for Obstacle Course course racing, and all 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:03.280 of the proceeds to sign up for this race. 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:04.440 It was pretty cool. 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:06.000 It's like a four mile run through like the woods 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:09.799 in Alabama, and there's like different up school or CrossFit 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:13.600 movement stations throughout the race. Anyway, all the proceeds went 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:16.719 to the nonprofit, which is Mayhem missioned. And I was 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:20.479 just helping serve at the event, and so was my 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:23.000 future wife. At the time, we had no idea who 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:26.800 each other were. Her name's Jennifer and yeah, we were 0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:29.359 like helping each other build a sign, and then just 0:06:29.640 --> 0:06:32.279 after helping serve the event, we got to know each other. 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:36.480 And it was actually really interesting because my buddy rich 0:06:36.520 --> 0:06:39.520 Fronning was getting a lot of pictures because he's like this, 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:42.159 you know, most well known dude in the cross the space, 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:45.080 and I'm like a nobody in CrossFit. But then I 0:06:45.160 --> 0:06:48.599 had like a group of young girls line up to 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:52.000 take pictures with me, and my wife's like, okay, is 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:53.080 he like a famous crossfitter? 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:53.800 What's going on here? 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:55.560 And then she found out I was on reality TV 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:58.080 and I took her to lunch and she was she 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:01.760 had one day eye brought up like all right, who's 0:07:01.800 --> 0:07:02.240 this guy? 0:07:02.800 --> 0:07:03.000 You know? 0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:08.239 Because you know, uh, there's quite the stereotype for people 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:11.640 that go on reality TV, so she was very concerned 0:07:11.640 --> 0:07:13.280 with who she was going up to lunch with. 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:15.720 But now after it was actually pretty cool. 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:18.560 I'll try to keep this brief, but after being at 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:21.360 Mayhem and representing them as an athlete, she worked for 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:25.480 Mayhem and we were friends for like a year and 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:28.080 a half to two years before ever like really considering 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:29.480 dating each other, and. 0:07:29.280 --> 0:07:31.600 I thought that really helped us learn who each other were. 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:36.080 And then you know, we were kind of like, hey, 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:38.360 you know, you got the qualities of my future spouse, 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.000 so I want to go on the date. And then 0:07:40.120 --> 0:07:42.440 things ramped up quickly and now here we are with 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:44.040 a son and another. 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:46.080 On the way. 0:07:46.160 --> 0:07:48.480 It's it's so interesting. 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:52.560 You talk about the stereotype from people going to reality shows, 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:58.000 which I think is very true and it's probably fair 0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:01.960 in a lot of ways. But your time on the show, 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:06.720 if I remember it correctly, it felt like you were 0:08:06.840 --> 0:08:10.640 kind of going within that line of like, hey, this 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:12.440 is how a reality show works. And there's like a 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:14.720 moment kind of towards the end where things got more 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:17.800 serious that you kind of started to speak up and 0:08:18.000 --> 0:08:20.720 you tried to go against the grain of really what 0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:24.240 the show was. So, when you signed up for the 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:26.520 show and you said yes for the show, did you 0:08:26.560 --> 0:08:31.800 go into it with any kind of like intentional ways 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:34.280 that you were going to progress through it or were 0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:38.160 you just doing it trying to be yourself throughout it 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:42.080 and getting kind of mixed up in the whole madness 0:08:42.080 --> 0:08:43.359 that is the Bachelorette. 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:49.839 Yeah, it's a phenomenal question. So unlike most people. I 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:52.280 don't know your gout story. But unlike most people who 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:56.360 sign themselves up for the show and whether they get 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:58.959 a reality TV coach or not and get studied up 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:01.480 on you know what they're going to go up against. 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:05.760 Time out, there's reality television coaches Like excuse me, I 0:09:05.760 --> 0:09:08.840 didn't know that was a thing. If there are no. 0:09:09.280 --> 0:09:12.240 Dang fifty percent of the dudes on my season admitted 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:12.440 to that. 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:14.960 What do you mean they had a coach or they 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:17.120 had like a gal pal back at home that had 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:17.439 watched it. 0:09:17.679 --> 0:09:19.480 I had like friends that were like, Hey, this is 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:21.760 what happens on this show, but I never. 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:24.720 Okay, maybe that was a bit much. So to your point, 0:09:24.760 --> 0:09:26.200 I don't know the details. It could have been a 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:29.200 friend that was on Survivor or whatever. You know, given 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:33.040 you know tips and tricks, but anyway to answer your question, 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:38.520 I definitely just full transparency here. You know, at that 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:40.400 season of my life, I was trying to. 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:41.520 Figure out what to do. 0:09:42.720 --> 0:09:46.240 I was working for my brother, and I just got 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:47.640 done playing college baseball, and. 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:49.280 I was just like a typical. 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:53.920 Baseball player who found this identity in baseball and was 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:56.640 working through that and trying to find out what to 0:09:56.679 --> 0:09:58.680 do with his life, and just typical jock who was like, 0:09:58.720 --> 0:10:00.200 all right, what do I do now? And then my 0:10:00.240 --> 0:10:02.360 sister in law was a fan of the show from 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:06.280 years back. I just got out of a pretty tough 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:10.400 breakup graduating college, and she's like, oh, I'm gonna sign 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:12.640 Luke up. I had no idea. I thought it was 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:14.360 a prank call. I got a call in the truck, 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:18.079 like from LA and they asked me to proceede the 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:21.280 application process, and I was like, are some prank calling here? 0:10:22.040 --> 0:10:22.400 Anyway? 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:25.920 Long story short, I saw because Houlton season was airing, 0:10:25.960 --> 0:10:30.280 and I'm like continuing down the application process and starting 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:32.600 to realize that they keep asking me for the next step, 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:34.959 and the next step like Okay, this actually might happen, 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:38.199 And I was just totally naive personality wise. 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:41.520 I noticed that Hannah. 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:43.880 Brown got selected, and then she made a few comments 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:46.960 on Colton season like she was striving to be a 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:50.720 wife of noble character or excuse me, p thirty one woman, 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:53.920 which is Proverbs thirty one talking about the wife and 0:10:53.960 --> 0:10:59.600 noble character, which is like the perfect blueprint to literally 0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:04.640 the the perfect attributes of the perfect wife. And I'm thinking, oh, man, 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:07.200 she wants to be a Pieter. Anyone woman like this 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:10.000 would be the only thing that brings me on a 0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:14.160 reality TV show where you share a girlfriend with multiple 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:16.840 dudes and try to narrow it down the one, which 0:11:16.880 --> 0:11:21.559 seems crazy. Yeah, And I just went into it honestly 0:11:21.640 --> 0:11:26.040 thinking that it was just again totally naive, thinking, oh, 0:11:26.080 --> 0:11:28.640 this has got to be, you know, God ordained. This 0:11:28.679 --> 0:11:32.320 has got to be why this crazy series of events 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:34.760 and has happened in my life, and all these dots 0:11:34.800 --> 0:11:36.520 are connecting, and this has got to be why I'm 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:38.800 going to go on the show. So that is kind 0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:43.160 of why you see me sit the mold, if you will, 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:48.319 in in and on that season of like having this 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:53.280 odd confidence in thinking I'll make it to the end, 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:56.400 and then also just a whirlwind of other you know 0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:02.040 variables if you will not to mention it kind of 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:05.000 shot myself in the foot a few times. But we 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:07.600 won't have to get into all the like what aired 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:10.880 and what didn't air and all that stuff. But I 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:12.680 don't know, did you guys watch the full season? 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:14.040 Both of you actually? 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:17.840 And uh, yes we did. It has been a while, 0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:25.160 you know, I'm looking back memory. You were always somebody 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:29.480 that the guys weren't the biggest fan of, and then 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:33.079 you're most known, of course for when it comes down 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:37.960 to fantasy suites. So if knowing about fantasy Suites going 0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:42.000 into the show and what you were thinking of Hannah, 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:43.680 what did you expect was going to happen? 0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:47.439 And I can I just say this before I answered 0:12:47.480 --> 0:12:49.720 that question, and then I'd actually like you to re 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:52.200 answer it. I just want to be transparent here for 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:56.960 a second, because it's it's been a minute. I mean, 0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:59.520 I get to share a little bit of my story 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:00.240 and what I. 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:01.319 Learned from the show. 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:05.280 Pretty frequently, because there's a list of things I got 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:08.920 to learn and how I how I deal with them 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:11.160 in a positive and a positive way now in my life. 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:15.880 But I won't lie like just thinking about all the 0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:18.280 things I went through on a deep level and trying 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:21.360 to talk about certain details. I won't lie, it's it's 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:24.360 pretty hard for me. This is definitely one of the 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:26.720 hardest things I've ever gone through in my entire life. 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:31.040 And you guys got to see the light that was 0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:35.640 you know, portrayed on me and and through that process, 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:38.559 and again, I'm so thankful for it. It's helped me 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:40.200 grow so in that season of my life. It helped 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:41.840 me grow so much as a man. It helped me 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.840 grow so much and truly realizing what I wanted in 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:47.480 a future wife. And it truly helped me grow a 0:13:47.520 --> 0:13:50.280 lot in my relationship with God so and grow closer 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:52.439 to my family because they were I was dragging them 0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:55.920 through the mug with me through the entire experience. But 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:57.680 I say all to say, I really want to do 0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:02.520 my best to be real on this podcast and try 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:05.800 to provide your audience with value. And I have to 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:10.440 bring up the fact that you know, I still am 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:13.480 under contract for the rest of my life with you know, 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:14.840 Warner Brothers and whatnot. 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:17.880 We are, right, do you understand how to teeter the line? 0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:19.680 I don't know if I know how to teeter that line. 0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:21.040 Yeah, I know that. 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:34.320 I think maybe let's rephrase Ashley's question a little bit here, 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:37.520 because I think her question did bring out two scenarios. 0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:37.800 Right. 0:14:38.200 --> 0:14:41.840 It did feel like watching it, the guys were not 0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:44.920 like it did feel like you were isolated on your 0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:46.600 own island, that they were not a fan of you, 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:48.320 maybe is the most like direct way to say it. 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:52.760 And it felt like the Fantasy Suites were a moment 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:57.240 where it was like this this whole season we were 0:14:57.280 --> 0:15:01.640 kind of watching and wondering, Hey, who is this guy 0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:05.720 and like what is he about to do? It feels 0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:09.080 like the guys see something that maybe we don't see 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:11.680 yet in him, and then it kind of all explodes 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:13.760 right towards the end, which is always the worst time 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:16.280 to explode, because then the show ends like two weeks 0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:18.560 later and you're still getting talked about and like you 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:22.280 haven't had a chance for explanation. And I think the 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:27.040 show good, bad, and different, it doesn't give the moment 0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:29.760 for explanation, even if that explanation is one that the 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:33.200 fans still won't enjoy or like or get behind. At 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:38.000 least you know, now years removed, looking back, as you said, 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:39.600 you've grown you can explain. 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:43.360 So I think the now with what you said. When 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:44.400 a rephrase that would. 0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:47.360 Be we know what you did, we know what you said, 0:15:47.400 --> 0:15:48.880 we know how you went through it, we know how 0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:52.680 the people viewed you. What have you learned like during 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:55.040 that time that we didn't see with your family and 0:15:55.080 --> 0:16:01.080 your friends, and like what were you feeling? Because my 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:04.280 notes here said like you got defensive publicly. 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:06.800 I think absolutely, And. 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:09.520 I think that just makes it feels like you're doubling down, 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:11.040 so the audience doubles down. 0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:14.840 But if we can like pull off all that. 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:17.480 Now yours removed, You're married with a kid and another 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:21.600 kid on the way, and life's looking good. What was 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:23.480 going on in your head? What were you feeling walk 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:28.720 us through that season? Yeah, maybe we didn't get to experience. 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:32.480 Yeah, absolutely, And I'd love to dive into I got 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:34.000 a lot I feel like I need to say before 0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:35.760 I dive into, like what I learned. 0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:38.880 And I know that this will. 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:44.000 Help provide every listener on here some value just how 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:47.400 they can approach their life, all areas of life as 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:49.400 far as perspective goes. But yeah, first let me just 0:16:49.480 --> 0:16:51.520 quick way a quick foundation. I know I talked about, 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:53.800 you know, going on the shows naive didn't really know 0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:56.600 I was getting into kind of like the whole you know, 0:16:56.640 --> 0:16:59.840 I'm an ex athlete, super competitor, and. 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:04.480 Which makes sense for the rugby scenes on the. 0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:09.879 Show, and and and again naive, but thinking, oh, this 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:11.280 has got to be this has got to be. 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:12.640 Why I'm going on the show is because. 0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:17.480 I'm going to be the guy so naive, extreme competitor 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:22.359 on levels that some people can't comprehend, but also a 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:25.080 man that wants to be delicate. 0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:29.119 And wants to be gentle. 0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:34.520 And share his faith like a man, a man of 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:38.160 God right, that wants to share his faith and share 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:39.560 why he does the things he does. 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:43.479 And let me add into this, yes, because I think 0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:45.040 you said something I want to add to this, and 0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:48.760 I absolutely it's very rude, but I guess I do 0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:50.840 want to add to thought. And also somebody that went 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:55.800 into it feeling a bit like God ordained this experience, 0:17:55.960 --> 0:17:59.880 like that this was that you were on a almost 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:03.440 divine path towards your wife by entering into the show, 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:07.920 which I think is also a huge element when you're 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:09.240 explaining your emotions. 0:18:09.320 --> 0:18:14.359 So yeah, So, to say the least, I was served 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:17.920 up a big old serving of humble pop and I think. 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:20.240 I think that is part of my story, you know, 0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:23.159 is I go on there thinking this has got to 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:26.760 be it and having it done my way in my mind, 0:18:27.080 --> 0:18:29.119 like I had a vision of how the whole season 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:31.119 was going to play out, how the filming was going 0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:34.480 to play out, and it didn't play out anywhere remotely 0:18:34.520 --> 0:18:37.440 close to my vision. So I the whole time tried 0:18:37.960 --> 0:18:40.040 always bringing it back to my path that I had 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:44.920 a vision for, essentially leaning on my own understanding, right 0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:49.560 and not just trying to let go and focus on, Hey, 0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:53.680 what does God actually have in store for this path 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:58.439 of my life? And it was it was just the 0:18:58.440 --> 0:19:01.280 whole thing was a crucible, you know, it was a 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:05.240 runing process, if you will. I was like trial by fire. 0:19:05.400 --> 0:19:07.240 I guess it's a better way to put it. And 0:19:07.520 --> 0:19:11.280 it really tested me and who I was. You know, 0:19:11.720 --> 0:19:14.520 if you're putting a crucible and a lot of pressures 0:19:14.520 --> 0:19:16.960 applied and you're squeezed, who you truly are. 0:19:16.840 --> 0:19:17.560 Is what comes out. 0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:19.480 And I realized I had a lot of things that 0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:21.080 I was dealing with in my life, and I can't 0:19:21.080 --> 0:19:23.080 wait to talk about some of those things that were 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:25.880 revealed to me that I grew through and again, I'll 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:28.960 get there. But as far as you know, you asking 0:19:29.080 --> 0:19:31.480 like take us through the season, like what were you thinking? 0:19:31.520 --> 0:19:36.280 What were you feeling the emotions? Man, that is a 0:19:36.440 --> 0:19:39.040 deep loaded question, but I'll try to keep it short 0:19:39.200 --> 0:19:43.560 and concise here. Essentially, I was in like, all right, 0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:45.640 the mindset of all right, I'm going to go into 0:19:45.640 --> 0:19:50.840 this without any expectations, but also kind of back of 0:19:50.880 --> 0:19:53.080 my head like, oh, this has got to be wise 0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:55.200 because I'm gonna end up with, you know, Hannah Brown. 0:19:55.359 --> 0:19:58.879 And then I started really getting selfish with no, no, this 0:19:58.920 --> 0:20:01.000 is how it's going to be. And then the competitor 0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:03.560 in me came out. I mean, let's be let's be real. 0:20:03.640 --> 0:20:06.120 I mean I knew this going in. You know, it's 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:10.200 not a typical dating scenario when you're sharing your girlfriend 0:20:10.200 --> 0:20:12.679 with thirty other dudes to start, you know, and then 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:17.199 it starts narrowing down. It's almost like a gladiator setting 0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:20.160 where it's like last man standing. You got to compete 0:20:20.520 --> 0:20:23.359 to show that you're the one, which is an absolute 0:20:23.480 --> 0:20:28.639 recipe for disaster if you're truly competing, right, like, you 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:31.000 should just be authentic and be yourself. And I think 0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:34.320 that's what really got in the way of Like I 0:20:34.359 --> 0:20:36.520 said earlier, there's many times where I shot myself on 0:20:36.560 --> 0:20:39.000 the foot, whether it was you know, the rugby scene, 0:20:39.000 --> 0:20:40.560 things that came out of my mouth, you know, lying 0:20:40.600 --> 0:20:44.080 to some of the contestants. And we'll get there and 0:20:44.119 --> 0:20:47.960 I'll answer why some of those things happened. But that's 0:20:48.080 --> 0:20:51.280 essentially what was going on in my mind, and it 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:55.639 was just an absolute domino effect to disaster. But again 0:20:56.040 --> 0:20:59.679 for sure isolated. A lot of the guys had singled 0:20:59.680 --> 0:21:03.840 me out that point and they're really questioning, I can't why. 0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:04.359 Are you keeping this guy around. 0:21:04.480 --> 0:21:06.920 I kept hanging around till the end, and then there's 0:21:07.520 --> 0:21:09.560 obviously a lot of questions you guys could ask me 0:21:09.600 --> 0:21:12.280 about the ending of everything, but I'll just say this, 0:21:12.400 --> 0:21:16.840 it was definitely very emotional for me because I also 0:21:17.920 --> 0:21:21.879 had expectations of you know, who handles and who I 0:21:21.920 --> 0:21:25.600 wanted Hannah to be versus you know, what she wanted 0:21:25.720 --> 0:21:29.160 and who she was, So that, you know, also has 0:21:29.160 --> 0:21:29.680 a little bit. 0:21:29.640 --> 0:21:31.760 To do with how the ending, you know, panned out. 0:21:32.680 --> 0:21:39.800 Tell me if I'm wrong, but to remove most of it, 0:21:39.880 --> 0:21:41.840 to simplify it down to a point, you came onto 0:21:41.840 --> 0:21:46.439 the show with an arrogance and an expectation orally that 0:21:47.400 --> 0:21:49.840 I'm assuming where we'll get to on where that has 0:21:49.840 --> 0:21:55.800 spit you out. But you walked into it believing that 0:21:56.160 --> 0:21:59.399 this was you know, I mean I had a similar prayer, 0:22:00.080 --> 0:22:04.000 which was God closed one door if this isn't meant 0:22:04.359 --> 0:22:07.520 for me, and every door slammed open. And I think 0:22:07.560 --> 0:22:10.879 I see a lot of the reasoning for that. Doesn't 0:22:10.880 --> 0:22:12.480 mean it was easy and that I didn't learn along 0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:15.880 the way, but I think there is this expectation where, hey, 0:22:16.280 --> 0:22:19.200 this is so weird that I'm going to say yes 0:22:19.240 --> 0:22:23.479 to this dating show, so against anything else that's been 0:22:23.480 --> 0:22:25.720 brought up to me in life. This has to be 0:22:25.760 --> 0:22:30.200 for a purpose of some kind. But I think the 0:22:30.760 --> 0:22:32.960 difference would have been there you were walking and knowing 0:22:32.960 --> 0:22:35.159 who the bachelor was going to be and believing that 0:22:35.200 --> 0:22:38.640 this was something that was meant to be a part 0:22:38.640 --> 0:22:40.960 of your story. So there was a little arrogance or 0:22:41.000 --> 0:22:45.600 a lot of arrogance. I won't you can clarify there was. 0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:47.600 A little to start, and then it became a lot. 0:22:47.960 --> 0:22:51.600 Okay, fair, and now you can continue because I think 0:22:51.600 --> 0:22:55.400 that's a great platform to kind of push off on 0:22:55.520 --> 0:22:56.880 why the season played out the way it did. 0:22:57.280 --> 0:23:02.040 Can I have one question that that if you if 0:23:02.080 --> 0:23:04.040 you did feel like this was God calling you to 0:23:04.080 --> 0:23:08.040 find your wife and your wife being Hannah did what 0:23:08.119 --> 0:23:11.160 did you think he was calling the other twenty nine 0:23:11.200 --> 0:23:11.639 guys for? 0:23:12.800 --> 0:23:16.840 And again in that moment, because that was again me 0:23:17.040 --> 0:23:21.280 dealing with arrogance and being naive, I believe he called 0:23:21.280 --> 0:23:23.600 me to be them, to be steps under my feet 0:23:23.600 --> 0:23:26.720 to get there. Now, that's not what I would think now. 0:23:27.080 --> 0:23:30.600 And again the arrogant guy that was, Oh, this is 0:23:30.600 --> 0:23:32.960 why I'm here, That's what I thought. 0:23:33.359 --> 0:23:35.320 Okay, well that leads perfectly into could now. 0:23:36.920 --> 0:23:44.520 Yeah. Man, Yeah, So anyway, so I just want to 0:23:44.520 --> 0:23:46.520 dive into this one pound set. I'm going to kind 0:23:46.560 --> 0:23:49.119 of change the conversation for a minute and dive into 0:23:49.119 --> 0:23:51.320 this because there's a list of things I learned and 0:23:51.359 --> 0:23:53.199 we can get into others. But I think this is 0:23:53.240 --> 0:23:56.040 probably the best message I could give to bring some 0:23:56.119 --> 0:23:59.639 listeners value here, because man, I was humbled and I 0:23:59.680 --> 0:24:02.760 think that this really helped me and has continued to 0:24:02.760 --> 0:24:03.080 help me. 0:24:03.040 --> 0:24:03.800 A lot in my life. 0:24:04.000 --> 0:24:07.399 So I want to talk about an insecurity that I 0:24:07.440 --> 0:24:13.200 didn't know I had that the show like exposed how 0:24:13.280 --> 0:24:15.159 big this insecurity was. 0:24:15.240 --> 0:24:15.679 My life. 0:24:17.240 --> 0:24:19.000 It didn't take me. 0:24:21.000 --> 0:24:21.600 Let me back up. 0:24:22.840 --> 0:24:25.440 It took me coming off the show for several weeks 0:24:25.480 --> 0:24:30.160 after episodes are airing, and I don't know exactly how many, 0:24:30.200 --> 0:24:31.919 but let's say it was just a couple of months 0:24:32.000 --> 0:24:34.520 after the you know, episodes start airing, and I'm sitting 0:24:34.560 --> 0:24:37.640 down with my brother and a mentor of my mind 0:24:37.680 --> 0:24:42.040 who happened to be my brother's father in law, and 0:24:42.119 --> 0:24:47.760 we're sitting down in his office and they're like, all right, Luke, yeah, 0:24:47.840 --> 0:24:49.920 let's sit down and talk about this. They're like, hey, 0:24:49.960 --> 0:24:53.120 we can understand why you did, you know, the whole 0:24:53.200 --> 0:24:57.159 Rugby stuff, you know, this thing over here, We can 0:24:57.280 --> 0:25:01.919 understand the Balogney scene, whatever, but like this one moment, 0:25:02.160 --> 0:25:04.360 you're standing from this other guy named Luke. 0:25:04.320 --> 0:25:04.920 Luke s. 0:25:07.359 --> 0:25:10.280 Tell us what happened because you literally lied to that 0:25:10.359 --> 0:25:13.879 guy straight to his face. And I'm sitting there and 0:25:13.920 --> 0:25:17.560 it took me a long time of like I'm trying 0:25:17.560 --> 0:25:20.200 to deflect and give excuses, and I'm like, well, this 0:25:20.320 --> 0:25:22.679 and that, and the producers behind the scenes over here, 0:25:22.720 --> 0:25:24.480 you know, manipulating me in this. 0:25:24.400 --> 0:25:27.520 All these different things. And then my brother stopped me. 0:25:27.600 --> 0:25:29.879 He goes, look, dude, you need to start taking ownership 0:25:30.000 --> 0:25:34.080 because you're just deflecting. And it took me several minutes 0:25:34.119 --> 0:25:37.520 of silence of just really trying to reflect, and I 0:25:37.560 --> 0:25:39.960 told him, I go, well, I'll be honest. You know, 0:25:41.520 --> 0:25:44.879 the words that came out of my mouth and my 0:25:45.000 --> 0:25:47.960 actions did not line up with truly who I am, 0:25:48.040 --> 0:25:50.760 what I believe it. And I was worried about what 0:25:50.800 --> 0:25:54.240 everyone in the room was thinking to me. And my 0:25:54.280 --> 0:25:56.280 brother looked at me. He was like, brother, brother, I'm 0:25:56.320 --> 0:26:00.199 proud of you, like you're taking ownership. Finally, and my 0:26:00.280 --> 0:26:03.760 mentor at the time, his name is Bucky, he goes, now, 0:26:03.760 --> 0:26:06.040 we're making some progress, and he goes, let's talk about it, 0:26:06.040 --> 0:26:08.520 because that is fear of man. So I want to 0:26:08.560 --> 0:26:13.960 talk about this insecurity and it's essentially what most people know. 0:26:13.920 --> 0:26:15.480 As being self conscious. 0:26:15.840 --> 0:26:19.520 Right, So this idea that you're so worried about what 0:26:19.560 --> 0:26:22.280 other people are thinking of you that literally the way 0:26:22.320 --> 0:26:24.320 you walk, the way you talk in your actions don't 0:26:24.359 --> 0:26:25.800 even line up with who you are and what you 0:26:25.840 --> 0:26:26.199 believe in. 0:26:26.680 --> 0:26:27.480 Does that make sense? 0:26:29.119 --> 0:26:32.639 So I started thinking replaying it, I'm like, I got 0:26:32.680 --> 0:26:34.640 eight cameras on me in the room. I got all 0:26:34.640 --> 0:26:36.679 these guys lined up. Luke gas is talking to me 0:26:36.680 --> 0:26:39.960 about conversations you know, he's having with Hannah, I'm having 0:26:39.960 --> 0:26:42.359 with Hannah that I literally just lie to his face 0:26:42.760 --> 0:26:45.600 because I'm worried about all what everyone else is thinking, 0:26:45.680 --> 0:26:49.560 except for saying truly what I believe. Almost like this 0:26:49.720 --> 0:26:54.680 like people pleaser type personality came out right, and it 0:26:54.720 --> 0:26:57.600 was all because I had fear of man and I 0:26:57.680 --> 0:27:02.920 was too self conscious, and I started talking to my 0:27:03.080 --> 0:27:07.680 mentor my brother a lot on it. And I think 0:27:07.680 --> 0:27:14.400 it's truly an amazing perspective if no matter what we're 0:27:14.400 --> 0:27:20.639 talking about in life, whether it's business, family relationships, anything like, 0:27:20.760 --> 0:27:24.520 really pay attention to the times in the moments where 0:27:24.640 --> 0:27:26.680 what you're saying, what you're doing isn't lining up with 0:27:26.720 --> 0:27:27.960 who you are and what you believe it. And I 0:27:27.960 --> 0:27:31.600 think a lot of the time, whether it's like silly 0:27:31.680 --> 0:27:34.639 things like I started thinking I was really doing a 0:27:34.680 --> 0:27:37.280 debrief on my entire life, like for example, like me 0:27:37.359 --> 0:27:40.359 sitting in algebra class and not raising my hand and 0:27:40.400 --> 0:27:43.240 asking the professor, hey, will you answer this question for me? 0:27:43.280 --> 0:27:45.119 Because I was too worried about other people thinking I 0:27:45.200 --> 0:27:48.720 wasn't intelligent in the room, and I would literally wait 0:27:49.200 --> 0:27:51.520 so after class to talk to a friend who's really 0:27:51.520 --> 0:27:54.520 good at college algebra and ask him for tutoring license 0:27:55.080 --> 0:27:57.639 because I was too scared to literally raise my hand 0:27:58.119 --> 0:28:01.240 and ask professor a simple question that I'm sure other 0:28:01.280 --> 0:28:04.119 people probably had a similar question in the room. But 0:28:04.200 --> 0:28:08.000 yet we start thinking, oh, you know, so and so 0:28:08.119 --> 0:28:09.960 might be thinking this is me or this is me, 0:28:10.600 --> 0:28:13.240 And I just wanted to share a quick scenario that 0:28:13.280 --> 0:28:16.600 I think is pretty cool, A quick little like mini 0:28:16.640 --> 0:28:21.960 mindset tool, And it's how you describe fear. So if 0:28:21.960 --> 0:28:25.159 you line up F E A R, fear is false 0:28:25.240 --> 0:28:28.840 evidence appearing real. And this is this is a little 0:28:30.600 --> 0:28:33.640 phrase if you will, or perspective mindset tool, if you will. 0:28:33.680 --> 0:28:37.800 That another mentor gave me as well. And I love 0:28:37.840 --> 0:28:39.760 this scenario. It's kind of crazy, if they'll just bear 0:28:39.800 --> 0:28:43.360 with me for a second. So picture all of us 0:28:43.440 --> 0:28:45.880 right now, the three of us standing on the top 0:28:45.920 --> 0:28:50.400 of a skyscraper. Just really it's all dully and there's 0:28:50.600 --> 0:28:54.000 kind of like a little thing that we can walk 0:28:54.040 --> 0:28:58.480 out on. That's pretty scary, right, you know, if you 0:28:58.520 --> 0:29:00.920 lose your balance, you're going to fall. If I go 0:29:01.040 --> 0:29:06.400 out on this high plank, If you will, on this skyscraper. Now, 0:29:08.000 --> 0:29:11.800 if fear is fake, right, it's false evidence appearing real. 0:29:13.280 --> 0:29:15.840 If I walk out on this skyscraper, I'm for sure 0:29:15.840 --> 0:29:16.600 gonna be freaking out. 0:29:16.680 --> 0:29:16.800 Right. 0:29:16.840 --> 0:29:19.400 If I lose balance, I'm literally gonna fall off and 0:29:19.440 --> 0:29:20.280 I'm not gonna make it. 0:29:21.040 --> 0:29:21.240 Now. 0:29:21.360 --> 0:29:25.240 Danger is real, but fear is fake. It's false evidence 0:29:25.400 --> 0:29:27.840 appearing real. So if I have great balance, right, I 0:29:27.880 --> 0:29:31.000 can perfectly fine walk out on this high plank and 0:29:31.000 --> 0:29:33.600 turn around and walk back. But when I start walking 0:29:33.680 --> 0:29:36.400 up out on it, I look down and that false 0:29:36.440 --> 0:29:39.120 evidence starts appearing like it's gonna become a reality, and 0:29:39.160 --> 0:29:42.000 it scares me. Now, the danger is real, but the 0:29:42.040 --> 0:29:44.160 fear is fake. If I would just stay calm and 0:29:44.320 --> 0:29:47.240 walk out perfect balance and walk back, I'd be totally fine. 0:29:47.400 --> 0:29:49.600 And similarly, when you walk into a room, sometimes you 0:29:49.680 --> 0:29:53.600 might be self conscious of, oh, you know, my ears 0:29:53.680 --> 0:29:55.760 might look big, or I don't know if I look 0:29:55.800 --> 0:29:58.520 good in this outfit, or my shoes don't match my shorts. 0:29:58.720 --> 0:30:04.080 Like we start sometimes in life start giving people these 0:30:04.480 --> 0:30:06.640 notions like, oh, they got to be thinking this and me, 0:30:06.720 --> 0:30:08.920 and a lot of times they're not thinking at all 0:30:08.920 --> 0:30:10.280 of that of you. At the end of the day, 0:30:10.360 --> 0:30:12.120 like people are going to listen to what you say, 0:30:12.120 --> 0:30:13.760 and they're going to pay attention. 0:30:13.440 --> 0:30:16.080 To what you do. They're not worried about your appearance. 0:30:16.600 --> 0:30:20.560 And having the thought this is another little nugget that 0:30:20.640 --> 0:30:22.360 my brother shares with me and is just like this, 0:30:22.600 --> 0:30:24.520 like what should matter most to me is what God 0:30:24.520 --> 0:30:27.480 thinks of me and not everyone else. Then I serve 0:30:27.520 --> 0:30:30.760 an audience of one as my focus, then that will 0:30:30.920 --> 0:30:33.920 allow me to go into any scenario. If I can 0:30:33.960 --> 0:30:36.840 just keep that my focus and bringing exactly who I 0:30:36.880 --> 0:30:39.840 am what I believe in to the table, being perfectly authentic, 0:30:39.960 --> 0:30:42.040 which obviously I'm a human, I'm not gonna be perfect. 0:30:42.400 --> 0:30:44.160 But if I can focus on those things and be 0:30:44.600 --> 0:30:47.320 free of worrying too much about what other people think 0:30:47.360 --> 0:30:50.000 of me, then truly I can step into any scenario 0:30:50.680 --> 0:30:53.479 and what comes out of my mouth and my actions 0:30:53.520 --> 0:30:55.040 will line up with who I am, what I believe in. 0:31:05.400 --> 0:31:09.680 I think there's two things there that when you're when 0:31:09.720 --> 0:31:12.320 you're walked in front of a million people who don't 0:31:12.360 --> 0:31:16.160 share the same faith tradition as you, probably look at 0:31:16.240 --> 0:31:20.880 it and can use to to weaponize it. And honestly, fairly, 0:31:21.280 --> 0:31:23.360 I think we both would have to say fairly because 0:31:23.800 --> 0:31:28.800 they see this man who's speaking out granted goodness, gracious, 0:31:28.840 --> 0:31:33.120 like not gonna say like, you know, you're the worst 0:31:33.320 --> 0:31:35.280 scum of the earth for doing it, But it's it's 0:31:35.360 --> 0:31:38.200 it's I think it came to the audience's mind was 0:31:38.280 --> 0:31:40.840 your man is speaking out and then you lie. But 0:31:40.880 --> 0:31:44.640 then at the same time you're still holding others to 0:31:44.680 --> 0:31:48.120 a moral standard that you don't seem to be, as 0:31:48.160 --> 0:31:51.360 you said, with your actions showing yourself, and I think 0:31:51.400 --> 0:31:53.960 it it does confuse the audience. And I also think 0:31:54.000 --> 0:31:59.520 there is this element too, where you know, pleasing God 0:32:00.480 --> 0:32:06.760 is the focus, but there's also this beautiful opportunity to 0:32:06.800 --> 0:32:08.800 try to get along with the jew and the gentile 0:32:09.760 --> 0:32:12.280 wherever they're at in life, and to try to relate 0:32:12.320 --> 0:32:15.080 with everyone and to speak with them in a language 0:32:15.160 --> 0:32:19.920 that helps people get along. And I think that's where 0:32:19.920 --> 0:32:22.960 a lot of this gets confusing. Is it felt like 0:32:23.040 --> 0:32:25.400 it was this like almost dogmatic, like this is how 0:32:25.400 --> 0:32:30.240 things are going to go mentality. And then we have 0:32:30.320 --> 0:32:33.240 this scenario with Luke S. I didn't remember his last initial, 0:32:33.280 --> 0:32:35.920 but Luke S. The people are like, wait, this guy 0:32:37.200 --> 0:32:40.880 over simple term is a hypocrite in this moment, not 0:32:41.360 --> 0:32:45.080 in general, but in this moment, and he seems he 0:32:45.480 --> 0:32:49.440 seems to show no regard for another really beautiful you 0:32:49.480 --> 0:32:53.320 know principle of let's try to get along with people. 0:32:53.480 --> 0:32:57.120 Let's try not to be the one that's always bucking 0:32:57.120 --> 0:33:02.480 the fringes here and pushing people aside. And so I 0:33:02.520 --> 0:33:07.840 think that's where fans, because we're here today to say, yeah, man, I. 0:33:07.880 --> 0:33:08.960 Don't think there's anybody. 0:33:09.000 --> 0:33:11.280 Maybe there is some troll out there as like that 0:33:11.400 --> 0:33:14.600 dude sucks, say the same thing for me and Ashley 0:33:14.640 --> 0:33:16.440 as well. So you're not alone in that camp that 0:33:16.480 --> 0:33:20.320 people think we suck. I think most people are like 0:33:21.000 --> 0:33:26.680 just confused at this, like almost aggressive take you took 0:33:26.720 --> 0:33:29.160 on this is how things are going to go, this 0:33:29.200 --> 0:33:32.680 is what's right and wrong, and if you're not following 0:33:32.720 --> 0:33:39.600 the lead, move aside. So I find the most interesting 0:33:39.600 --> 0:33:43.320 element of all this because we've admitted you've learned a lot. 0:33:43.680 --> 0:33:47.200 It's amazing, it's beautiful, like people can learn from that 0:33:47.240 --> 0:33:49.400 this the show humbled you. And I think that's the 0:33:49.400 --> 0:33:51.760 most interesting element that I want to go back to, 0:33:52.480 --> 0:33:57.800 is loot your faith is important to you because you've 0:33:57.840 --> 0:34:00.959 had an interaction with the divine that's changed your life forever. 0:34:01.240 --> 0:34:06.080 Nobody's gonna doubt that. But this show was a really 0:34:06.120 --> 0:34:09.960 hard season of for you. But also the tough seasons 0:34:10.000 --> 0:34:13.800 allow us amazing growth and so through this kind of 0:34:13.840 --> 0:34:15.800 getting slapped in the face with humble Pie. 0:34:16.960 --> 0:34:19.480 Yeah, what was going like? 0:34:19.520 --> 0:34:23.200 What like when did you get humbled? I mean, was 0:34:23.239 --> 0:34:26.120 it the Bucky moment where and he said take ownership, buddy, 0:34:26.160 --> 0:34:30.520 now we're doing something. Was it the hate that came 0:34:30.680 --> 0:34:33.799 and feeling like you couldn't do anything right? Like walk 0:34:33.880 --> 0:34:38.719 us through this this season from arrogance to humility to 0:34:38.880 --> 0:34:40.080 then growth. 0:34:42.760 --> 0:34:43.360 From the show. 0:34:44.200 --> 0:34:45.080 Yeah, absolutely. 0:34:45.680 --> 0:34:48.439 I have three three moments to stick out in my head, 0:34:48.480 --> 0:34:51.160 and I'll try to be quick about them. One moment 0:34:51.320 --> 0:34:56.319 was when I was in Greece trying to thank hold 0:34:56.360 --> 0:35:00.160 on what week is that? That's that's the very end 0:35:00.160 --> 0:35:02.640 of the season. So I mean I got I got 0:35:02.640 --> 0:35:04.480 some humble pie early on in the show, like in 0:35:04.480 --> 0:35:06.560 the middle, I guess of the show as far as 0:35:07.200 --> 0:35:11.040 that goes, like slowly starts realizing how things were gonna 0:35:11.040 --> 0:35:12.560 go in the season. I didn't know I was going 0:35:12.640 --> 0:35:20.279 to be completely villainized. Villainized, yes, thank you, but yeah, 0:35:20.320 --> 0:35:25.160 somewhere so Greece was Fantasy Sweets Week and I remember 0:35:25.200 --> 0:35:26.840 sitting and man, it was beautiful. 0:35:26.880 --> 0:35:28.520 We're in We're on the eye on the creek in. 0:35:28.480 --> 0:35:31.000 The middle of the Mediterranean, and like I have like 0:35:31.640 --> 0:35:37.960 perfect place to feel like light in joy and I'm 0:35:37.960 --> 0:35:42.480 feeling the opposite. And I have my own like master suite. 0:35:42.600 --> 0:35:44.879 I got my own private pool and balcony. I remember 0:35:44.960 --> 0:35:47.840 sitting there alone in my room, waiting on a handler 0:35:47.880 --> 0:35:51.400 to come hang out with me, and it was a 0:35:51.440 --> 0:35:53.719 down day. We started filming the next day and I 0:35:53.719 --> 0:35:57.080 remember sitting there no cell phone, because you know, you 0:35:57.200 --> 0:35:58.680 land in LA and they take your phone. 0:35:58.719 --> 0:36:00.640 You don't see it again until the season. 0:36:02.680 --> 0:36:04.680 Depending on who you are, you might have a privilege 0:36:04.719 --> 0:36:08.160 here and there, but like maybe one phone call because 0:36:08.160 --> 0:36:12.920 of hometowns or something. And I'm sitting there and it 0:36:13.000 --> 0:36:16.240 hit me I have no one to ask questions. 0:36:17.360 --> 0:36:19.680 And that was another thing I learned was about community. 0:36:20.320 --> 0:36:23.160 Like, man, if you're going through something in your life, 0:36:23.280 --> 0:36:25.960 like tell a brother or a sister about it, you know, 0:36:26.080 --> 0:36:28.759 reach out to some friends and try to have some 0:36:28.800 --> 0:36:32.400 wise guidance and wise counsel in your life. So we 0:36:32.440 --> 0:36:34.400 didn't have that right we get our phones taken. So 0:36:34.400 --> 0:36:37.840 I remember that being one moment of feeling like, honestly 0:36:37.960 --> 0:36:42.040 just lonely, and I started feeling like I have all 0:36:42.080 --> 0:36:45.400 these questions I want to ask a lot of people 0:36:45.400 --> 0:36:47.040 in my life who are very wise about how to 0:36:47.080 --> 0:36:51.360 handle relationships and how to analyze situations, and I need help, 0:36:52.040 --> 0:36:54.759 and I feel isolated at this point. I'm so far 0:36:54.840 --> 0:36:56.920 in this thing, I don't really know what to do. 0:36:57.440 --> 0:37:01.520 So that was one moment I just felt really alone, 0:37:02.080 --> 0:37:04.000 and then just lack of community. 0:37:04.080 --> 0:37:06.280 And then there was a moment when. 0:37:09.239 --> 0:37:13.400 I was I really don't remember what episode just got released, 0:37:13.600 --> 0:37:17.360 but it was like two or three weeks in of 0:37:18.040 --> 0:37:20.160 so about two or three episodes. 0:37:19.640 --> 0:37:21.239 In of me being villainized. 0:37:21.800 --> 0:37:25.160 And I remember being home talking to my brother about 0:37:26.040 --> 0:37:28.360 because we're just talking about business, like, Hey, what do 0:37:28.360 --> 0:37:29.759 you want to do for a living? Now you're going 0:37:29.840 --> 0:37:33.360 to have eventually this following. You know, what do you 0:37:33.360 --> 0:37:35.640 want to use your utilize your platform for? Is it 0:37:35.680 --> 0:37:36.840 you know, a fitness business? 0:37:36.920 --> 0:37:37.279 Is it this? 0:37:37.600 --> 0:37:41.319 You know, let's let's utilize this platform. But yet that's 0:37:41.520 --> 0:37:43.360 part of our conversations and then the other part of 0:37:43.400 --> 0:37:45.359 our conversations, and I'm like dude, I want to run 0:37:45.360 --> 0:37:47.520 from the world. I want to delete my Instagram. I'm 0:37:47.520 --> 0:37:51.920 getting all this hate. I'm villainized now. I'm literally have 0:37:52.160 --> 0:37:56.360 like dms in my inbox, like dude, you are a 0:37:56.360 --> 0:37:59.480 piece of crap, like go kill yourself, Like and that's 0:37:59.480 --> 0:38:04.880 a pretty you know, like some really harsh dms of 0:38:04.920 --> 0:38:06.879 all the things under the sun you could you could 0:38:06.880 --> 0:38:07.239 think of. 0:38:07.840 --> 0:38:10.279 And it hit me in that moment. I was like. 0:38:12.360 --> 0:38:17.719 Why, Like why God would you put me through this? 0:38:18.200 --> 0:38:21.920 I thought it was for this girl at that moment. Also, 0:38:22.040 --> 0:38:24.920 I knew why it wasn't for her, but I was 0:38:24.960 --> 0:38:28.120 still wrestling, like how could any good come from this? 0:38:29.080 --> 0:38:32.279 And I was wrestling. There's no other way to put it. 0:38:32.320 --> 0:38:34.640 I was wrestling with God and I was still just 0:38:36.719 --> 0:38:38.759 and I couldn't see the light at the end of 0:38:38.760 --> 0:38:40.279 the tunn if you will. I couldn't see the good 0:38:40.320 --> 0:38:41.799 that was going to come from it. I couldn't see 0:38:41.800 --> 0:38:43.640 all these open doors in the future of my life 0:38:43.640 --> 0:38:45.160 that were going to be opened. I could I didn't 0:38:45.160 --> 0:38:46.799 see all these things he was going to use me 0:38:46.840 --> 0:38:48.480 for in the future of my life, to grow me 0:38:49.280 --> 0:38:50.840 as a man. Like I said, I didn't see my 0:38:50.880 --> 0:38:53.320 future wife at that time, I didn't see the beautiful 0:38:53.600 --> 0:38:55.640 wife I was gonna marry, and the beautiful son I 0:38:55.680 --> 0:38:57.480 was going to have in the future, and all these 0:38:57.480 --> 0:39:00.200 business opportunities and ways that I could use my platform 0:39:00.239 --> 0:39:04.000 in a positive way to really help people, because that's 0:39:04.120 --> 0:39:07.040 essentially what I believe I'm probably do on surface, inspire 0:39:07.080 --> 0:39:10.560 people to be the best version themselves and inspire people 0:39:10.640 --> 0:39:12.840 to get to know God, their creator. And that's what 0:39:13.000 --> 0:39:16.239 I've been on a warpath to, you know, live in 0:39:16.280 --> 0:39:21.319 my purpose and do and I'm doing my best to 0:39:21.360 --> 0:39:23.440 pursue that. And I didn't see any of that. I 0:39:23.600 --> 0:39:26.600 was just felt like I hit rock bottom. I'm getting 0:39:26.640 --> 0:39:29.399 all these dms of you know, go kill yourself, you're 0:39:29.400 --> 0:39:32.080 a worthless like you should just you know, do this, 0:39:32.239 --> 0:39:32.560 do that. 0:39:33.000 --> 0:39:35.560 You're you know, a piece of this, piece of that, and. 0:39:37.480 --> 0:39:40.319 I was I was again, even with family and having 0:39:40.400 --> 0:39:42.080 the people in my life that were in my inner 0:39:42.080 --> 0:39:44.239 circle that I could rely on and you know, get 0:39:44.239 --> 0:39:46.160 Wise's counsel from, I was getting all that, and I 0:39:46.200 --> 0:39:49.719 was still just broken because I didn't understand why I 0:39:49.760 --> 0:39:51.280 had gone through all those things. 0:39:51.680 --> 0:39:53.960 And it took me a bit of time. 0:39:54.239 --> 0:39:57.040 But then I started realizing as I'm you know when 0:39:57.040 --> 0:39:58.759 I say, I was broken, Like man, I was just 0:39:58.960 --> 0:40:03.920 crying into my pillow, wondering why and thinking, how's it 0:40:03.960 --> 0:40:05.120 gonna look next week. 0:40:06.520 --> 0:40:07.960 I had no idea it was gonna look like that. 0:40:08.120 --> 0:40:09.479 I can't imagine next week. 0:40:09.560 --> 0:40:13.880 Like the lead up the Monday night primetime television for 0:40:13.960 --> 0:40:18.200 ABC as The Bachelorette was like so daunting every lead 0:40:18.280 --> 0:40:21.799 up to every episode, I was like, just I just 0:40:21.840 --> 0:40:23.760 want to turn off the world, like the light switch. 0:40:24.440 --> 0:40:27.600 And again I can laugh about it now, but like 0:40:27.680 --> 0:40:29.320 it was the hardest thing and I by far have 0:40:29.400 --> 0:40:31.480 ever gone through in my entire life, and. 0:40:33.800 --> 0:40:35.920 Way worse than the cross for games. 0:40:36.560 --> 0:40:43.239 And I finally grasped this thing, I guess this perspective, 0:40:43.280 --> 0:40:45.839 and it was that hurt people, hurt you. And that's 0:40:45.880 --> 0:40:49.200 what burdened me as far as like we want to 0:40:49.200 --> 0:40:52.719 talk about you know, I forget the phrases or the 0:40:52.840 --> 0:40:57.759 language that are thrown around a lot besides just hate 0:40:57.920 --> 0:41:00.919 if you will, like, let's talk about social media, because 0:41:00.960 --> 0:41:02.719 everyone feels like they have a voice to be heard 0:41:02.719 --> 0:41:06.239 on social media, especially the trolls that will DM you 0:41:06.480 --> 0:41:10.360 all sorts of craziness. And I truly was burdened for 0:41:10.400 --> 0:41:13.640 those people because I received so many direct messages of 0:41:13.920 --> 0:41:17.400 just hate. And I realized that people that have true, 0:41:17.480 --> 0:41:20.279 deep issues in their life, that are truly hurt themselves 0:41:20.840 --> 0:41:23.319 have no problem with hurting others. It's the only thing 0:41:23.480 --> 0:41:25.160 they know how to do to cope with it. And 0:41:25.200 --> 0:41:26.839 that was a big thing I learned, was hurt people 0:41:26.920 --> 0:41:30.920 hurt people, and I started to not listen. 0:41:30.880 --> 0:41:33.359 Just for clarity, are you throwing yourself into the hurt 0:41:33.440 --> 0:41:35.720 category or others others? 0:41:36.120 --> 0:41:36.480 Okay? 0:41:37.200 --> 0:41:39.120 So yeah, yeah. 0:41:39.160 --> 0:41:41.080 So as I was hurt and broken and then started 0:41:41.080 --> 0:41:44.359 to recover, I started realizing because man, I really wanted 0:41:44.360 --> 0:41:46.200 to delete my social media because it was rough, Like 0:41:46.239 --> 0:41:47.799 I didn't want to listen to the noise, you know. 0:41:48.680 --> 0:41:49.560 And then. 0:41:50.920 --> 0:41:55.640 I finally started I mean, I wouldn't if I saw dms. 0:41:55.840 --> 0:41:58.239 I'd let my uh my brother read those. 0:41:58.280 --> 0:42:00.160 I wouldn't read. I wouldn't read all those beause there's 0:42:00.160 --> 0:42:00.680 a lot of hate. 0:42:00.840 --> 0:42:02.480 But I guess what I'm saying is when I fully 0:42:02.520 --> 0:42:07.719 started grasping and understanding like, Okay, just like you guys, right, 0:42:07.920 --> 0:42:11.560 God has a plan for your life. And I started realizing, Okay, 0:42:11.600 --> 0:42:12.880 there is light at the end of the tunnel and 0:42:12.920 --> 0:42:15.560 I started developing this you know, confidence and encouragement again 0:42:15.640 --> 0:42:18.320 and you know, his plan, and then finally. 0:42:18.080 --> 0:42:22.400 Started seeing some fruits slowly you know, happened from it. 0:42:22.440 --> 0:42:26.520 But again from a psychological standpoint, what I'm saying is 0:42:27.480 --> 0:42:29.480 people that have issues in their life and that are 0:42:29.560 --> 0:42:31.200 hurt whatever it is they're going through. 0:42:31.200 --> 0:42:33.600 They will they have no problem hurting other people. 0:42:33.640 --> 0:42:36.200 Like I'm talking about trolls that are, you know, gonna 0:42:36.239 --> 0:42:38.839 throw shade until you to go kill yourself because they're 0:42:38.920 --> 0:42:42.840 hiding behind a screen on Instagram. That's what I'm referring to. 0:42:43.560 --> 0:42:49.640 And that helped me have a better understanding of I 0:42:49.640 --> 0:42:52.280 guess a better It helped me receive those messages better 0:42:52.600 --> 0:42:55.840 because really, I just it didn't hurt my feelings these messages. 0:42:55.880 --> 0:42:59.560 It really started making me hurt for those individuals because 0:42:59.560 --> 0:43:02.920 I want to see those broken hearts be mended, you know. 0:43:03.320 --> 0:43:06.360 And that didn't happen overnight. I mean talking about this 0:43:06.440 --> 0:43:09.720 moment where I was broken myself, and then I would 0:43:09.719 --> 0:43:15.960 say it took several months after the show. This is 0:43:16.000 --> 0:43:18.680 the third moment. So you asked again, I'm trying to 0:43:19.840 --> 0:43:21.680 stick to the question here of like take me through 0:43:21.880 --> 0:43:23.879 you know, these times when you were going through these things, 0:43:23.880 --> 0:43:26.279 your emotions and what you're feeling. I'd say it took 0:43:26.320 --> 0:43:31.120 me several months post the last final episode because that 0:43:31.160 --> 0:43:33.600 was a whole other thing in itself of I kind 0:43:33.600 --> 0:43:36.120 of got over it, and then the mentell all. 0:43:38.400 --> 0:43:38.919 That was. 0:43:42.160 --> 0:43:46.759 That was rough, and it took me several months after 0:43:46.800 --> 0:43:50.840 that to kind of honestly recover and be in a 0:43:50.880 --> 0:43:56.480 healthy place mentally. Several months, I would I was definitely 0:43:56.840 --> 0:44:01.120 a healthy place mentally, like directly after, but like I'm human, 0:44:01.239 --> 0:44:04.560 like going through whether it's like like we just talked about, 0:44:04.600 --> 0:44:07.920 whether it's hate on Instagram or if I was posting 0:44:07.960 --> 0:44:10.560 something of me and my family, like trying to tell 0:44:10.560 --> 0:44:13.520 a story of me spending time with my family on 0:44:13.560 --> 0:44:17.440 my Instagram, I'll just get hundreds of comments of hate 0:44:17.800 --> 0:44:20.359 about the show, and I'm like, guys, can I just 0:44:20.400 --> 0:44:21.560 like live my life over here? 0:44:22.320 --> 0:44:22.520 You know? 0:44:22.719 --> 0:44:24.640 So that I mean, like, you guys know how it is. 0:44:25.440 --> 0:44:29.000 You know, like months to recover from that, because like 0:44:29.000 --> 0:44:30.399 I said, you guys know how it is. You'll post 0:44:30.440 --> 0:44:32.480 something probably of your family and then if you guys 0:44:32.520 --> 0:44:35.360 are trending, you know, on Twitter or something, or maybe 0:44:35.520 --> 0:44:37.960 the Bachelor. You know, posts something about you, you know 0:44:38.000 --> 0:44:40.319 you'll get flooded comments on the thing you post. It's 0:44:40.360 --> 0:44:42.719 nothing to do with the show. That is about a 0:44:42.800 --> 0:44:56.879 particular scene on the show, And it's like, really, come on, I. 0:44:56.840 --> 0:44:58.480 Do want to talk about a certain scene on the 0:44:58.480 --> 0:45:04.239 show because it was the scene that you're most notorious for, right, 0:45:04.640 --> 0:45:09.880 it was the scene where you and Hanna. Well, I 0:45:09.880 --> 0:45:12.319 guess there is the rose and the podium move. We 0:45:12.360 --> 0:45:15.440 could get there. But I was thinking about when you 0:45:15.480 --> 0:45:17.759 guys had that conversation where you said that if you'd 0:45:17.800 --> 0:45:22.480 sup with anybody, Hannah, I wouldn't be interested in continuing this. Now, 0:45:22.560 --> 0:45:26.880 given everything that you've learned, how would you navigate that 0:45:26.920 --> 0:45:27.759 conversation now? 0:45:28.440 --> 0:45:31.360 To be completely honest, I thought I handled and navigated 0:45:31.360 --> 0:45:35.719 that conversation perfectly. But ninety percent of what came out 0:45:35.719 --> 0:45:38.120 of my mouth did not air, and I can't share 0:45:38.120 --> 0:45:40.440 it because I'm under contract. But I will say this, 0:45:41.440 --> 0:45:44.719 it did not pan out the way it showed. That's 0:45:44.760 --> 0:45:47.480 all I want to say. I'll say this. 0:45:49.600 --> 0:45:53.840 Just to be clean up the contract situation. 0:45:54.760 --> 0:45:57.279 Because you got sued right like right after the show. 0:45:57.320 --> 0:45:59.200 That was like public information, right. 0:45:59.600 --> 0:46:05.080 Well, this this was my issue with the whole contract 0:46:05.160 --> 0:46:08.279 situation is I moved addresses and they were sending me 0:46:08.400 --> 0:46:11.960 notices because like I told you guys, it took me 0:46:12.040 --> 0:46:15.040 several months to get in like a healthy place how 0:46:15.040 --> 0:46:16.800 I viewed this whole situation. 0:46:17.239 --> 0:46:19.400 So I went on. I went on a terror and 0:46:19.880 --> 0:46:20.680 got on like. 0:46:22.719 --> 0:46:29.480 Dozens of podcast platforms and broke contract of sharing everything 0:46:29.520 --> 0:46:31.920 that happened behind the scenes, everything that was said to me. 0:46:34.640 --> 0:46:39.960 I'd be curious to go jennified. They were still alone anyway, 0:46:40.280 --> 0:46:41.960 and I didn't know that I would get sued. I 0:46:42.000 --> 0:46:44.279 think it was twenty or twenty five thousand dollars per 0:46:44.360 --> 0:46:47.440 breach of contract. Was there like rule thumb, And I 0:46:47.440 --> 0:46:49.319 didn't even know I was getting notices in the mail, 0:46:49.360 --> 0:46:51.600 and I had a bunch in my old address. And 0:46:51.640 --> 0:46:55.680 then finally, you know, months into going on all these 0:46:55.719 --> 0:46:59.320 podcasts and spill all the tea, I noticed that I 0:46:59.440 --> 0:47:00.440 was sued a lot of money. 0:47:01.000 --> 0:47:04.640 Were right, they didn't email you call you because we've 0:47:04.640 --> 0:47:08.719 gotten calls before, being like Ashley Ben, can you be 0:47:08.880 --> 0:47:10.200 a little bit more careful. 0:47:10.520 --> 0:47:11.200 I'm trying to think. 0:47:11.239 --> 0:47:14.719 I got a couple of emails saying like it was 0:47:14.920 --> 0:47:17.719 but it wasn't it was they're vague emails. They weren't like, hey, 0:47:17.800 --> 0:47:18.840 you're preaching contracts. 0:47:18.840 --> 0:47:19.200 Stop it. 0:47:19.480 --> 0:47:24.359 Like it was just emails of contacting them like hey, 0:47:24.360 --> 0:47:26.839 we'd like to speak to you, and I'm like, I'm 0:47:26.840 --> 0:47:27.480 not talking to you. 0:47:27.520 --> 0:47:28.480 It's not happening. 0:47:29.160 --> 0:47:32.120 That was my point, was the reason you're so nervous 0:47:32.120 --> 0:47:36.279 about the contract is because it has been a thing 0:47:36.680 --> 0:47:37.120 for you. 0:47:37.600 --> 0:47:40.880 Oh yeah, I had to get a very expensive lawyer 0:47:41.239 --> 0:47:43.600 to help me not pay them a penny when I 0:47:43.760 --> 0:47:48.080 was supposed to pay them a lot of money. And yeah, 0:47:48.120 --> 0:47:50.520 so that that was like a year drawn out process 0:47:50.600 --> 0:47:51.240 with the lawyer. 0:47:51.560 --> 0:47:52.560 I get where you're nervous. 0:47:52.600 --> 0:47:56.400 Then, So back to Ashley's question with it, which is 0:47:57.000 --> 0:48:00.160 that conversation and how it went you would have done 0:48:00.200 --> 0:48:06.320 it differently. I understand why the contract is such a 0:48:06.360 --> 0:48:10.040 focus point when it comes to these conversations, specifically about 0:48:10.120 --> 0:48:11.360 moments of the show. 0:48:12.280 --> 0:48:17.200 Yeah, but to answer it, we'll let you continue. 0:48:16.960 --> 0:48:23.279 Absolutely so, And look like, I just want to be 0:48:23.360 --> 0:48:26.000 clear about this because it's hard for me sometimes to 0:48:26.040 --> 0:48:30.279 get in certain details and talk about Hannah because I 0:48:30.320 --> 0:48:34.799 don't talk to Hannah currently. I don't I remember the 0:48:34.800 --> 0:48:36.520 first few years after the show, I was really hoping 0:48:36.560 --> 0:48:38.960 that she and I could reconnect. I reached out to 0:48:39.000 --> 0:48:44.360 her via DM, email, any platform you could think of. 0:48:44.520 --> 0:48:47.520 I've tried reaching out to her multiple times. And look, 0:48:47.640 --> 0:48:50.600 I'm not throwing shade or hating on her for not replying. 0:48:50.600 --> 0:48:51.080 If I were her, I. 0:48:51.080 --> 0:48:53.440 Probably wouldn't reply either. I don't even know if she 0:48:53.520 --> 0:48:55.480 saw any of them. You know, she had so many 0:48:55.560 --> 0:48:58.480 messages beyond my crazy amount of messages in my inbox. 0:48:58.760 --> 0:49:05.399 So I'll say this, I want what's absolute best for her. 0:49:05.800 --> 0:49:10.960 You know, I don't anymore. I mean, but I remember 0:49:12.120 --> 0:49:17.080 vividly after the show, just pouring my heart out for 0:49:17.160 --> 0:49:20.600 her in prayer, praying for her future and her family 0:49:20.640 --> 0:49:24.200 and her heart. So you can imagine, you know, my 0:49:24.280 --> 0:49:26.680 heart was very invested in that show. So I said 0:49:26.719 --> 0:49:28.040 a lot of the things I said on the show 0:49:29.480 --> 0:49:33.120 to be kind of crazy, you know, like how can 0:49:33.160 --> 0:49:40.040 you tell someone you love them or feel so anyway? 0:49:40.080 --> 0:49:42.759 Not to get in those details either, but be so 0:49:42.880 --> 0:49:46.799 invested in someone that's a short period of time, and 0:49:46.880 --> 0:49:51.200 that was very again naive about a lot. But to 0:49:51.280 --> 0:49:55.200 answer your questions, Bess, I can ashually sorry for you know, 0:49:55.560 --> 0:49:57.080 being a little dodgy, but. 0:49:58.680 --> 0:50:02.720 I'll say this. I it was this simple. 0:50:02.960 --> 0:50:06.720 I held Hannah not to a standard of my own, 0:50:06.840 --> 0:50:10.680 which I did, but more so how I handled that 0:50:10.719 --> 0:50:12.600 situation was I was trying to hold her to a 0:50:12.680 --> 0:50:14.440 standard that she said she wanted. 0:50:15.680 --> 0:50:17.600 I mean, you're talking about my hometown date. 0:50:17.760 --> 0:50:21.240 Like she literally came and talked to my youth ministry, 0:50:21.320 --> 0:50:23.200 which I was helping lead, like the college and young 0:50:23.200 --> 0:50:24.680 adults at my church at the time, and that was 0:50:24.719 --> 0:50:28.040 my hometown date. She literally came to spend like a 0:50:28.120 --> 0:50:31.120 meal and spend time with about fifty people at my church, 0:50:32.000 --> 0:50:36.840 young like kids in the youth ministry, and she shared 0:50:36.840 --> 0:50:39.359 her testimony and share her story of how she came 0:50:39.400 --> 0:50:42.040 to know God, and shared all these things that she 0:50:42.120 --> 0:50:44.000 wasn't going to do in the fantasy suites because she 0:50:44.040 --> 0:50:48.200 was going to further conversation in the relationship. And she 0:50:48.360 --> 0:50:51.319 shared this path that I for sure was going to 0:50:51.320 --> 0:50:53.839 hold her to that standard of Oh, this is what 0:50:53.880 --> 0:50:55.320 you want, good, this is what I want. 0:50:55.840 --> 0:50:57.160 Let's get on this path. 0:50:57.719 --> 0:51:01.160 And look not to say anything about her in any 0:51:01.280 --> 0:51:06.360 judgmental way, Like again, I'd pray for her in her future. 0:51:07.120 --> 0:51:09.080 And I've heard that because I don't really keep up 0:51:09.080 --> 0:51:10.600 with her. But I've heard she's doing great now and 0:51:10.880 --> 0:51:13.200 that makes me happy. I don't know all that she's 0:51:13.239 --> 0:51:18.799 involved with. But that was why it panned out the 0:51:18.800 --> 0:51:22.400 way it did is I was just trying to follow 0:51:22.400 --> 0:51:26.480 what she was saying. And that's again I'm trying to 0:51:26.480 --> 0:51:28.040 be as clear and concise as possible. 0:51:28.200 --> 0:51:30.919 I think you're making sense. I think you're making sense. 0:51:30.960 --> 0:51:36.040 In the you felt like you were communicating to her 0:51:36.360 --> 0:51:41.719 things that you believed, either correctly or incorrectly. 0:51:41.360 --> 0:51:43.400 That she wanted exactly. 0:51:44.080 --> 0:51:47.200 And we saw ten percent of what you say is 0:51:47.239 --> 0:51:52.600 a longer conversation where you communicate with her, and. 0:51:52.880 --> 0:51:57.839 I do I mean, I think you know it did. 0:51:57.840 --> 0:52:03.440 It came off as uh, it came off as dogmatic, 0:52:03.520 --> 0:52:10.520 it came off as aggressive as and I guess one 0:52:10.520 --> 0:52:13.240 of the beautiful parts about the infamous segment is we 0:52:13.280 --> 0:52:17.040 will never know, because that whole footage will never be shown, 0:52:17.080 --> 0:52:19.400 of what that conversation looked like and the sensitivity you 0:52:19.440 --> 0:52:23.560 took walking into it, the wisdom that you took walking 0:52:23.600 --> 0:52:27.319 into it to communicate to her not just what you 0:52:27.360 --> 0:52:30.879 think she wanted, but what you wanted, which I think 0:52:30.960 --> 0:52:34.440 is such a vital piece of the show. Is and 0:52:34.800 --> 0:52:37.759 really of so many scenarios we've all learned from is 0:52:37.800 --> 0:52:39.719 making sure that you're communicating what you. 0:52:39.640 --> 0:52:41.240 Want and not putting your own. 0:52:42.760 --> 0:52:52.040 Opinions on somebody else because maybe you know, the assumptions 0:52:52.560 --> 0:52:56.719 that you made were things that she took offensively. 0:52:56.840 --> 0:53:00.040 Now I find your story you need. 0:53:00.719 --> 0:53:08.160 Because you've spoken here throughout this hour about what you 0:53:08.200 --> 0:53:11.680 wanted to use your platform for and it wass we close. 0:53:12.320 --> 0:53:15.960 We started this whole show with a conversation now about 0:53:16.320 --> 0:53:21.000 your wife, your son, kid on the way, also years 0:53:21.040 --> 0:53:25.800 removed from the show, and I'm still trying to get 0:53:26.480 --> 0:53:28.120 to be honest, I don't know how else to say it, 0:53:28.480 --> 0:53:29.320 still trying to get. 0:53:29.160 --> 0:53:30.480 Out of you what you've learned. 0:53:31.160 --> 0:53:36.400 Like it feels like there's still this like defensiveness when 0:53:36.440 --> 0:53:38.319 it comes to this season, and maybe that's rightfully so, 0:53:38.480 --> 0:53:41.560 because we haven't seen at all, Like we don't. 0:53:41.400 --> 0:53:45.880 See it all. But maybe the way to get to 0:53:46.040 --> 0:53:46.840 it is. 0:53:48.160 --> 0:53:54.000 Now you're a husband, the show is behind you, New 0:53:54.080 --> 0:54:00.640 chapters begin, new careers are starting this season of life 0:54:00.960 --> 0:54:04.400 with the show and the humility that it brought you 0:54:04.480 --> 0:54:07.920 to and the confusion that it brought you towards, and 0:54:07.920 --> 0:54:11.560 the lessons that you learned it spit you out now 0:54:11.600 --> 0:54:15.160 today to be what man to your wife, to your son, 0:54:15.680 --> 0:54:18.080 to the kid on the way, to your friends. 0:54:18.880 --> 0:54:21.399 How did it change you? Maybe is the best way 0:54:21.400 --> 0:54:21.840 to ask it. 0:54:23.000 --> 0:54:23.400 Yeah. 0:54:23.440 --> 0:54:27.880 Absolutely, We talked about the fear Man conversation, the whole 0:54:28.480 --> 0:54:31.520 being self conscious right to the point where what comes 0:54:31.560 --> 0:54:33.279 out of your mouth and what your actions don't line 0:54:33.360 --> 0:54:34.520 up with who you are and what you believe in. 0:54:34.719 --> 0:54:37.400 So let's just I'll put a quick little summary statement 0:54:37.440 --> 0:54:40.000 over that as far as what I learned right is 0:54:40.360 --> 0:54:45.879 be authentic, right, be who you are, no matter the circumstance. 0:54:46.719 --> 0:54:50.640 Okay, And then I'd say, you know. 0:54:50.560 --> 0:54:53.399 I did touch on a little bit of the community aspect, right, 0:54:53.640 --> 0:54:55.840 like make sure you have some people in your corner 0:54:55.920 --> 0:54:58.000 that will fight for you and be real and tell 0:54:58.040 --> 0:54:59.799 you not just what you want to hear, but what 0:54:59.840 --> 0:55:03.000 you need to hear, which is impossible on the show 0:55:03.040 --> 0:55:04.920 because your cell phone gets stripped from you and you 0:55:04.960 --> 0:55:08.280 have zero communication with the outside world. So right, always 0:55:08.280 --> 0:55:10.799 making sure you have people in your corner that will 0:55:11.040 --> 0:55:13.160 push you to be your best and hold you accountable 0:55:13.239 --> 0:55:15.680 to standard that you want to hold. 0:55:16.440 --> 0:55:17.840 And then another one. 0:55:17.680 --> 0:55:20.279 That would be as far as what I learned is hey, 0:55:20.320 --> 0:55:23.160 look like, no matter what you've done in your life, 0:55:24.719 --> 0:55:28.680 that does not define me. What's most important is what 0:55:28.760 --> 0:55:32.239 you go through is how you're going to handle it. 0:55:33.200 --> 0:55:35.120 And a lot of people say, hey, what you go through, 0:55:35.200 --> 0:55:38.840 you can either go through it and take a seat, 0:55:38.960 --> 0:55:41.319 or you can grow through it and learn from it 0:55:41.480 --> 0:55:44.040 and make the most out of it. And that's essentially 0:55:44.040 --> 0:55:45.960 what I've done. My best to do from my experience 0:55:45.960 --> 0:55:48.080 on the show is not just go through it, but 0:55:48.200 --> 0:55:53.840 grow through it. And you know, I've learned that authenticity 0:55:54.120 --> 0:55:59.920 is the way be real and don't worry about whether 0:56:00.040 --> 0:56:02.200 people are thinking. Stay true to who you are and 0:56:02.239 --> 0:56:05.360 what you believe in. I'd say that's definitely what's most important. 0:56:05.560 --> 0:56:08.400 And so just just that in there, because I do 0:56:08.440 --> 0:56:12.360 think it's a nugget that's really essential. And Ashley and 0:56:12.400 --> 0:56:16.800 I've talked about before, but you're saying, I think people 0:56:16.880 --> 0:56:20.480 can hear this, and if they don't come from a 0:56:20.520 --> 0:56:24.359 similar faith background, they're jump they could jump to conclusions. 0:56:24.360 --> 0:56:28.279 But this fear of man and being an authentic is 0:56:28.480 --> 0:56:33.560 only done well in life when you have the openness 0:56:33.640 --> 0:56:36.360 to be held accountable by others as well. 0:56:37.400 --> 0:56:38.760 So that's good. 0:56:40.160 --> 0:56:44.600 Running your race straightforward, being authentic and burning down every 0:56:44.640 --> 0:56:48.600 bridge and every human that comes in your path. Even 0:56:48.640 --> 0:56:51.200 though that is authentic, it's not healthy. It's not what 0:56:51.239 --> 0:56:53.720 God has called you to. It's not at any level 0:56:54.280 --> 0:56:57.400 of a of a way that you would expect somebody 0:56:57.440 --> 0:56:59.880 to be a witness or to help and not her 0:57:00.200 --> 0:57:05.560 this world. And so you can only be authentic and 0:57:05.600 --> 0:57:09.720 correct me here, I'm making a statement to try to clarify. Yeah, 0:57:09.760 --> 0:57:13.560 what you're saying. You can only be authentic if you're 0:57:13.600 --> 0:57:19.120 also willing to be held accountable by a trusted group 0:57:19.760 --> 0:57:22.720 that will stand up and say check yourself. 0:57:24.280 --> 0:57:26.000 Yeah, that's good. I would agree with that. 0:57:26.440 --> 0:57:29.840 Okay, all right, Luke, Well, we just wanted to We 0:57:29.960 --> 0:57:32.520 want to say thank you, and we also want to 0:57:32.520 --> 0:57:37.040 get your last thoughts on Hannah Brown. She's about to 0:57:37.040 --> 0:57:38.840 get married. You said that you didn't really keep up 0:57:38.880 --> 0:57:44.600 with her. She is getting married this month to her fee. Yeah, 0:57:44.640 --> 0:57:46.280 so we just kind of wanted to see if you 0:57:46.320 --> 0:57:47.360 had anything to sit her. 0:57:48.440 --> 0:57:51.920 Yeah. I would, I mean, I would say this, you know, 0:57:52.120 --> 0:57:55.720 I hope she has an incredible marriage. I pray that 0:57:55.760 --> 0:57:58.360 God blesses it in the name of Jesus, and I 0:57:58.400 --> 0:58:01.800 hope her and her husband have a incredible marriage. Yeah, 0:58:01.840 --> 0:58:04.920 and I hope bored willing, they have beautiful children. 0:58:05.040 --> 0:58:09.600 What's her husband's name, Ashley Adam Adam. He's a stud. 0:58:09.720 --> 0:58:11.000 He's a stud. 0:58:14.840 --> 0:58:16.840 Luke, thank you for joining us today. Thank you for 0:58:17.400 --> 0:58:22.200 sharing this. I know it's not easy with the contractual, 0:58:22.640 --> 0:58:23.280 the fear. 0:58:23.080 --> 0:58:26.760 Of contract, and we understand it's very frustrating to tell 0:58:26.800 --> 0:58:30.040 your story when you can't, you know, say every line that. 0:58:30.040 --> 0:58:31.880 Was, But I think you successfully did it. 0:58:32.200 --> 0:58:37.680 I don't see any red flags here that they're gonna say, Oh. 0:58:36.400 --> 0:58:38.200 The fear of contract is something. 0:58:38.440 --> 0:58:40.760 Yeah, hopefully they'll notice this in the mail to be. 0:58:40.840 --> 0:58:43.919 Weariosome of Luke. Thanks for joining us today. Hey, best 0:58:43.920 --> 0:58:45.920 of luck in the next chapter for you. I know 0:58:45.960 --> 0:58:49.320 you said that you're going to be transitioning from what 0:58:49.360 --> 0:58:51.960 you've been doing to what is coming. And then also 0:58:52.040 --> 0:58:53.439 your second child is on the way. 0:58:54.000 --> 0:58:54.640 Uh so. 0:58:56.200 --> 0:59:01.400 Goodness gracious, congratulations on one and now two beautiful wife 0:59:02.440 --> 0:59:03.640 in this family that you have. 0:59:04.280 --> 0:59:05.200 And I know new. 0:59:05.120 --> 0:59:09.640 Chapters are always exciting but also scary, so we wish 0:59:09.640 --> 0:59:10.080 you the best. 0:59:10.800 --> 0:59:11.880 Thank you, appreciate it. 0:59:12.480 --> 0:59:18.959 Thank you Sea, Sea. Well that was Luke Parker and 0:59:19.080 --> 0:59:21.560 until next time. I've been Ashley and. 0:59:21.520 --> 0:59:22.960 I'm in Ben. We'll talk to you soon. 0:59:24.000 --> 0:59:26.920 Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on 0:59:27.000 --> 0:59:30.200 iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.