Speaker 1: Ben Higgins and Ashley I bring you Infamous.
Speaker 2: Sometimes roses are red Flags.
Speaker 3: Hey, everyone, welcome to another episode of Infamous. Sometimes Roses
Speaker 3: are Red Flags. It's Ben and Ashley and we are
Speaker 3: here with you to dive a little deeper into some
Speaker 3: of the characters that you either loved or loathed during
Speaker 3: the series. And today we are going back to Hannah
Speaker 3: Brown season of The Bachelorette. This cast member. Was he misunderstood?
Speaker 3: Has he changed? Well, today we will find out. Please
Speaker 3: welcome Luke Parker to the show, who we just did
Speaker 3: a little chat with before we started recording. And Luke,
Speaker 3: you are not just married, which we had seen headlines about,
Speaker 3: but you are father. Congratulations, dam thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been for all his fathers mothers out there.
Speaker 1: You guys know, it's been quite the ride. Yes, old, Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I have a nine month old and currently my
Speaker 1: wife is twenty two weeks pregnant.
Speaker 4: So we have we just found out wait.
Speaker 3: The math eight math in there. You have a nine
Speaker 3: month old?
Speaker 1: Yes, so we're two months away from I just learned
Speaker 1: this term. I don't know if you guys know it,
Speaker 1: but two months away from Irish twins. So if you
Speaker 1: have two children, whether it's a border girl that are
Speaker 1: within a year apart, then it's considered considered Irish twins.
Speaker 4: But they're going to be fourteen months apart.
Speaker 3: Okay, she's nine months and she's currently pregnant. So she
Speaker 3: got pregnant. Okay, yeah, okay, so the math that is
Speaker 3: technically math. I'm so sorry. I'm not a mathematician obviously,
Speaker 3: but she got pregnant within two months of having your son.
Speaker 1: No, it was not, it wasn't that close, but it
Speaker 1: was within a few Yes.
Speaker 3: That's so she's twenty two weeks. Okay, again, I need
Speaker 3: a pen and.
Speaker 5: Paper as interesting as it is for Ashley to try
Speaker 5: to figure this out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I am fully embarrassed right now.
Speaker 1: You know, you're good. I'm not a math genius either.
Speaker 1: He's roughly six months.
Speaker 3: Okay, so sorry, I wasn't even thinking she's six months now,
Speaker 3: and so there're gonna be three that she was she
Speaker 3: got pregnant at three or four months?
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, she was four months most part?
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, all right, that's not Actually the most out
Speaker 3: righteous thing.
Speaker 2: Was this planned?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 2: Was this wanted to be this way? Okay?
Speaker 3: Then does anybody plan that I don't think anybody plans
Speaker 3: within four months of I.
Speaker 5: Mean when we had our daughter, Jessica, I was laying
Speaker 5: in the hospital room and Jessica goes, let's do it again,
Speaker 5: and I said, that's insane.
Speaker 2: I just saw what your.
Speaker 1: Body did in the hospital room.
Speaker 2: Yeah. She was like, this is the best. I would
Speaker 2: do it a thousand times. And I'm like, you're your wife.
Speaker 2: Is a chance you're crazy?
Speaker 5: I saw this and I don't know how you would
Speaker 5: even think about this right now. Luke So you have
Speaker 5: a family, is this is Cooksville where you're from?
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: So grew up Northeast Florida, like Jacksonville area, and then.
Speaker 4: After college, bounced around.
Speaker 1: Played college baseball, and then after college I moved to
Speaker 1: North Georgia to be closer to family, and that's where
Speaker 1: my older brother lived. He and I were super tight,
Speaker 1: and then I was there for I want to say,
Speaker 1: like three years, and then I went on the show.
Speaker 1: And that's why on the show I say I'm from Gainesville, Georgia,
Speaker 1: because that's where I lived at the time, but that
Speaker 1: wasn't where I was reiginally from. And then for the
Speaker 1: last five years I've been in Cookeville, Tennessee, and what
Speaker 1: brought me there was really CrossFit. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you guys are familiar with CrossFit much, Yeah, but they're
Speaker 1: like quote unquote Michael Jordan CrossFit is Rich Frohning is
Speaker 1: a ten time Games Champion gold medalist and he owns
Speaker 1: CrossFit Mayhem, which is like the most famous CrossFit gym
Speaker 1: in the world. And his poor values on his business
Speaker 1: are faith, family, fitness service. And I got to be
Speaker 1: a part of a few nonprofit events he was a
Speaker 1: part of, and he invited me to come be a
Speaker 1: part of the Mayhem family, and then he pretty much
Speaker 1: turned me into a professional cross the athlete. And that's
Speaker 1: what I've been doing for like the last five years
Speaker 1: of my life and actually currently in the transitional season
Speaker 1: of my life, so going in a different direction and
Speaker 1: competing across it.
Speaker 4: And that's as of like a week and a half ago.
Speaker 2: Why is that.
Speaker 1: I just feel like Dad's calling me to the next
Speaker 1: chapter of my life. And it's been a huge blessing
Speaker 1: being a part of the Man family. And I'll always
Speaker 1: be a part of the Mayhem family. And the connections
Speaker 1: I've built here in Cookeville, I just you know, I
Speaker 1: got two sons now and got gotta start taking care
Speaker 1: of my family and focusing on some other things.
Speaker 2: So what's the difference between a cult and CrossFit?
Speaker 4: Oh that's such a good question.
Speaker 1: Oh man, I could talk so much on that, but
Speaker 1: I'll keep it light. I'd say CrossFit's focus is obviously
Speaker 1: just to build a strong community and be fit for life. Right,
Speaker 1: So that's that's really why we do all the crazy
Speaker 1: fitness we do.
Speaker 4: But yeah, it does definitely seem like a cult.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So you became controversial on Hannah season not because you
Speaker 3: weren't there for the wrong reasons. Everybody thought that you
Speaker 3: were there for the right reasons, right, And now you
Speaker 3: have found your wife. How did you to meet.
Speaker 1: That's a phenomenal question. So let me back up. So
Speaker 1: I just kind of the story I just told of
Speaker 1: me going from North Georgia to Cookville, Tennessee and going
Speaker 1: to pursue competitive CrossFit. I got invited f I'm rich
Speaker 1: himself at a nonprofit event, and that same nonprofit event
Speaker 1: the following year. Essentially it was like an OCR race,
Speaker 1: which just stands for Obstacle Course course racing, and all
Speaker 1: of the proceeds to sign up for this race.
Speaker 4: It was pretty cool.
Speaker 1: It's like a four mile run through like the woods
Speaker 1: in Alabama, and there's like different up school or CrossFit
Speaker 1: movement stations throughout the race. Anyway, all the proceeds went
Speaker 1: to the nonprofit, which is Mayhem missioned. And I was
Speaker 1: just helping serve at the event, and so was my
Speaker 1: future wife. At the time, we had no idea who
Speaker 1: each other were. Her name's Jennifer and yeah, we were
Speaker 1: like helping each other build a sign, and then just
Speaker 1: after helping serve the event, we got to know each other.
Speaker 1: And it was actually really interesting because my buddy rich
Speaker 1: Fronning was getting a lot of pictures because he's like this,
Speaker 1: you know, most well known dude in the cross the space,
Speaker 1: and I'm like a nobody in CrossFit. But then I
Speaker 1: had like a group of young girls line up to
Speaker 1: take pictures with me, and my wife's like, okay, is
Speaker 1: he like a famous crossfitter?
Speaker 4: What's going on here?
Speaker 1: And then she found out I was on reality TV
Speaker 1: and I took her to lunch and she was she
Speaker 1: had one day eye brought up like all right, who's
Speaker 1: this guy?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 1: Because you know, uh, there's quite the stereotype for people
Speaker 1: that go on reality TV, so she was very concerned
Speaker 1: with who she was going up to lunch with.
Speaker 4: But now after it was actually pretty cool.
Speaker 1: I'll try to keep this brief, but after being at
Speaker 1: Mayhem and representing them as an athlete, she worked for
Speaker 1: Mayhem and we were friends for like a year and
Speaker 1: a half to two years before ever like really considering
Speaker 1: dating each other, and.
Speaker 4: I thought that really helped us learn who each other were.
Speaker 1: And then you know, we were kind of like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, you got the qualities of my future spouse,
Speaker 1: so I want to go on the date. And then
Speaker 1: things ramped up quickly and now here we are with
Speaker 1: a son and another.
Speaker 4: On the way.
Speaker 2: It's it's so interesting.
Speaker 5: You talk about the stereotype from people going to reality shows,
Speaker 5: which I think is very true and it's probably fair
Speaker 5: in a lot of ways. But your time on the show,
Speaker 5: if I remember it correctly, it felt like you were
Speaker 5: kind of going within that line of like, hey, this
Speaker 5: is how a reality show works. And there's like a
Speaker 5: moment kind of towards the end where things got more
Speaker 5: serious that you kind of started to speak up and
Speaker 5: you tried to go against the grain of really what
Speaker 5: the show was. So, when you signed up for the
Speaker 5: show and you said yes for the show, did you
Speaker 5: go into it with any kind of like intentional ways
Speaker 5: that you were going to progress through it or were
Speaker 5: you just doing it trying to be yourself throughout it
Speaker 5: and getting kind of mixed up in the whole madness
Speaker 5: that is the Bachelorette.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a phenomenal question. So unlike most people. I
Speaker 1: don't know your gout story. But unlike most people who
Speaker 1: sign themselves up for the show and whether they get
Speaker 1: a reality TV coach or not and get studied up
Speaker 1: on you know what they're going to go up against.
Speaker 5: Time out, there's reality television coaches Like excuse me, I
Speaker 5: didn't know that was a thing. If there are no.
Speaker 1: Dang fifty percent of the dudes on my season admitted
Speaker 1: to that.
Speaker 3: What do you mean they had a coach or they
Speaker 3: had like a gal pal back at home that had
Speaker 3: watched it.
Speaker 5: I had like friends that were like, Hey, this is
Speaker 5: what happens on this show, but I never.
Speaker 1: Okay, maybe that was a bit much. So to your point,
Speaker 1: I don't know the details. It could have been a
Speaker 1: friend that was on Survivor or whatever. You know, given
Speaker 1: you know tips and tricks, but anyway to answer your question,
Speaker 1: I definitely just full transparency here. You know, at that
Speaker 1: season of my life, I was trying to.
Speaker 4: Figure out what to do.
Speaker 1: I was working for my brother, and I just got
Speaker 1: done playing college baseball, and.
Speaker 4: I was just like a typical.
Speaker 1: Baseball player who found this identity in baseball and was
Speaker 1: working through that and trying to find out what to
Speaker 1: do with his life, and just typical jock who was like,
Speaker 1: all right, what do I do now? And then my
Speaker 1: sister in law was a fan of the show from
Speaker 1: years back. I just got out of a pretty tough
Speaker 1: breakup graduating college, and she's like, oh, I'm gonna sign
Speaker 1: Luke up. I had no idea. I thought it was
Speaker 1: a prank call. I got a call in the truck,
Speaker 1: like from LA and they asked me to proceede the
Speaker 1: application process, and I was like, are some prank calling here?
Speaker 4: Anyway?
Speaker 1: Long story short, I saw because Houlton season was airing,
Speaker 1: and I'm like continuing down the application process and starting
Speaker 1: to realize that they keep asking me for the next step,
Speaker 1: and the next step like Okay, this actually might happen,
Speaker 1: And I was just totally naive personality wise.
Speaker 4: I noticed that Hannah.
Speaker 1: Brown got selected, and then she made a few comments
Speaker 1: on Colton season like she was striving to be a
Speaker 1: wife of noble character or excuse me, p thirty one woman,
Speaker 1: which is Proverbs thirty one talking about the wife and
Speaker 1: noble character, which is like the perfect blueprint to literally
Speaker 1: the the perfect attributes of the perfect wife. And I'm thinking, oh, man,
Speaker 1: she wants to be a Pieter. Anyone woman like this
Speaker 1: would be the only thing that brings me on a
Speaker 1: reality TV show where you share a girlfriend with multiple
Speaker 1: dudes and try to narrow it down the one, which
Speaker 1: seems crazy. Yeah, And I just went into it honestly
Speaker 1: thinking that it was just again totally naive, thinking, oh,
Speaker 1: this has got to be, you know, God ordained. This
Speaker 1: has got to be why this crazy series of events
Speaker 1: and has happened in my life, and all these dots
Speaker 1: are connecting, and this has got to be why I'm
Speaker 1: going to go on the show. So that is kind
Speaker 1: of why you see me sit the mold, if you will,
Speaker 1: in in and on that season of like having this
Speaker 1: odd confidence in thinking I'll make it to the end,
Speaker 1: and then also just a whirlwind of other you know
Speaker 1: variables if you will not to mention it kind of
Speaker 1: shot myself in the foot a few times. But we
Speaker 1: won't have to get into all the like what aired
Speaker 1: and what didn't air and all that stuff. But I
Speaker 1: don't know, did you guys watch the full season?
Speaker 4: Both of you actually?
Speaker 3: And uh, yes we did. It has been a while,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm looking back memory. You were always somebody
Speaker 3: that the guys weren't the biggest fan of, and then
Speaker 3: you're most known, of course for when it comes down
Speaker 3: to fantasy suites. So if knowing about fantasy Suites going
Speaker 3: into the show and what you were thinking of Hannah,
Speaker 3: what did you expect was going to happen?
Speaker 1: And I can I just say this before I answered
Speaker 1: that question, and then I'd actually like you to re
Speaker 1: answer it. I just want to be transparent here for
Speaker 1: a second, because it's it's been a minute. I mean,
Speaker 1: I get to share a little bit of my story
Speaker 1: and what I.
Speaker 4: Learned from the show.
Speaker 1: Pretty frequently, because there's a list of things I got
Speaker 1: to learn and how I how I deal with them
Speaker 1: in a positive and a positive way now in my life.
Speaker 1: But I won't lie like just thinking about all the
Speaker 1: things I went through on a deep level and trying
Speaker 1: to talk about certain details. I won't lie, it's it's
Speaker 1: pretty hard for me. This is definitely one of the
Speaker 1: hardest things I've ever gone through in my entire life.
Speaker 1: And you guys got to see the light that was
Speaker 1: you know, portrayed on me and and through that process,
Speaker 1: and again, I'm so thankful for it. It's helped me
Speaker 1: grow so in that season of my life. It helped
Speaker 1: me grow so much as a man. It helped me
Speaker 1: grow so much and truly realizing what I wanted in
Speaker 1: a future wife. And it truly helped me grow a
Speaker 1: lot in my relationship with God so and grow closer
Speaker 1: to my family because they were I was dragging them
Speaker 1: through the mug with me through the entire experience. But
Speaker 1: I say all to say, I really want to do
Speaker 1: my best to be real on this podcast and try
Speaker 1: to provide your audience with value. And I have to
Speaker 1: bring up the fact that you know, I still am
Speaker 1: under contract for the rest of my life with you know,
Speaker 1: Warner Brothers and whatnot.
Speaker 3: We are, right, do you understand how to teeter the line?
Speaker 2: I don't know if I know how to teeter that line.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know that.
Speaker 5: I think maybe let's rephrase Ashley's question a little bit here,
Speaker 5: because I think her question did bring out two scenarios.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 5: It did feel like watching it, the guys were not
Speaker 5: like it did feel like you were isolated on your
Speaker 5: own island, that they were not a fan of you,
Speaker 5: maybe is the most like direct way to say it.
Speaker 5: And it felt like the Fantasy Suites were a moment
Speaker 5: where it was like this this whole season we were
Speaker 5: kind of watching and wondering, Hey, who is this guy
Speaker 5: and like what is he about to do? It feels
Speaker 5: like the guys see something that maybe we don't see
Speaker 5: yet in him, and then it kind of all explodes
Speaker 5: right towards the end, which is always the worst time
Speaker 5: to explode, because then the show ends like two weeks
Speaker 5: later and you're still getting talked about and like you
Speaker 5: haven't had a chance for explanation. And I think the
Speaker 5: show good, bad, and different, it doesn't give the moment
Speaker 5: for explanation, even if that explanation is one that the
Speaker 5: fans still won't enjoy or like or get behind. At
Speaker 5: least you know, now years removed, looking back, as you said,
Speaker 5: you've grown you can explain.
Speaker 2: So I think the now with what you said. When
Speaker 2: a rephrase that would.
Speaker 5: Be we know what you did, we know what you said,
Speaker 5: we know how you went through it, we know how
Speaker 5: the people viewed you. What have you learned like during
Speaker 5: that time that we didn't see with your family and
Speaker 5: your friends, and like what were you feeling? Because my
Speaker 5: notes here said like you got defensive publicly.
Speaker 2: I think absolutely, And.
Speaker 5: I think that just makes it feels like you're doubling down,
Speaker 5: so the audience doubles down.
Speaker 2: But if we can like pull off all that.
Speaker 5: Now yours removed, You're married with a kid and another
Speaker 5: kid on the way, and life's looking good. What was
Speaker 5: going on in your head? What were you feeling walk
Speaker 5: us through that season? Yeah, maybe we didn't get to experience.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, And I'd love to dive into I got
Speaker 1: a lot I feel like I need to say before
Speaker 1: I dive into, like what I learned.
Speaker 4: And I know that this will.
Speaker 1: Help provide every listener on here some value just how
Speaker 1: they can approach their life, all areas of life as
Speaker 1: far as perspective goes. But yeah, first let me just
Speaker 1: quick way a quick foundation. I know I talked about,
Speaker 1: you know, going on the shows naive didn't really know
Speaker 1: I was getting into kind of like the whole you know,
Speaker 1: I'm an ex athlete, super competitor, and.
Speaker 4: Which makes sense for the rugby scenes on the.
Speaker 1: Show, and and and again naive, but thinking, oh, this
Speaker 1: has got to be this has got to be.
Speaker 4: Why I'm going on the show is because.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be the guy so naive, extreme competitor
Speaker 1: on levels that some people can't comprehend, but also a
Speaker 1: man that wants to be delicate.
Speaker 4: And wants to be gentle.
Speaker 1: And share his faith like a man, a man of
Speaker 1: God right, that wants to share his faith and share
Speaker 1: why he does the things he does.
Speaker 5: And let me add into this, yes, because I think
Speaker 5: you said something I want to add to this, and
Speaker 5: I absolutely it's very rude, but I guess I do
Speaker 5: want to add to thought. And also somebody that went
Speaker 5: into it feeling a bit like God ordained this experience,
Speaker 5: like that this was that you were on a almost
Speaker 5: divine path towards your wife by entering into the show,
Speaker 5: which I think is also a huge element when you're
Speaker 5: explaining your emotions.
Speaker 1: So yeah, So, to say the least, I was served
Speaker 1: up a big old serving of humble pop and I think.
Speaker 1: I think that is part of my story, you know,
Speaker 1: is I go on there thinking this has got to
Speaker 1: be it and having it done my way in my mind,
Speaker 1: like I had a vision of how the whole season
Speaker 1: was going to play out, how the filming was going
Speaker 1: to play out, and it didn't play out anywhere remotely
Speaker 1: close to my vision. So I the whole time tried
Speaker 1: always bringing it back to my path that I had
Speaker 1: a vision for, essentially leaning on my own understanding, right
Speaker 1: and not just trying to let go and focus on, Hey,
Speaker 1: what does God actually have in store for this path
Speaker 1: of my life? And it was it was just the
Speaker 1: whole thing was a crucible, you know, it was a
Speaker 1: runing process, if you will. I was like trial by fire.
Speaker 1: I guess it's a better way to put it. And
Speaker 1: it really tested me and who I was. You know,
Speaker 1: if you're putting a crucible and a lot of pressures
Speaker 1: applied and you're squeezed, who you truly are.
Speaker 4: Is what comes out.
Speaker 1: And I realized I had a lot of things that
Speaker 1: I was dealing with in my life, and I can't
Speaker 1: wait to talk about some of those things that were
Speaker 1: revealed to me that I grew through and again, I'll
Speaker 1: get there. But as far as you know, you asking
Speaker 1: like take us through the season, like what were you thinking?
Speaker 1: What were you feeling the emotions? Man, that is a
Speaker 1: deep loaded question, but I'll try to keep it short
Speaker 1: and concise here. Essentially, I was in like, all right,
Speaker 1: the mindset of all right, I'm going to go into
Speaker 1: this without any expectations, but also kind of back of
Speaker 1: my head like, oh, this has got to be wise
Speaker 1: because I'm gonna end up with, you know, Hannah Brown.
Speaker 1: And then I started really getting selfish with no, no, this
Speaker 1: is how it's going to be. And then the competitor
Speaker 1: in me came out. I mean, let's be let's be real.
Speaker 1: I mean I knew this going in. You know, it's
Speaker 1: not a typical dating scenario when you're sharing your girlfriend
Speaker 1: with thirty other dudes to start, you know, and then
Speaker 1: it starts narrowing down. It's almost like a gladiator setting
Speaker 1: where it's like last man standing. You got to compete
Speaker 1: to show that you're the one, which is an absolute
Speaker 1: recipe for disaster if you're truly competing, right, like, you
Speaker 1: should just be authentic and be yourself. And I think
Speaker 1: that's what really got in the way of Like I
Speaker 1: said earlier, there's many times where I shot myself on
Speaker 1: the foot, whether it was you know, the rugby scene,
Speaker 1: things that came out of my mouth, you know, lying
Speaker 1: to some of the contestants. And we'll get there and
Speaker 1: I'll answer why some of those things happened. But that's
Speaker 1: essentially what was going on in my mind, and it
Speaker 1: was just an absolute domino effect to disaster. But again
Speaker 1: for sure isolated. A lot of the guys had singled
Speaker 1: me out that point and they're really questioning, I can't why.
Speaker 4: Are you keeping this guy around.
Speaker 1: I kept hanging around till the end, and then there's
Speaker 1: obviously a lot of questions you guys could ask me
Speaker 1: about the ending of everything, but I'll just say this,
Speaker 1: it was definitely very emotional for me because I also
Speaker 1: had expectations of you know, who handles and who I
Speaker 1: wanted Hannah to be versus you know, what she wanted
Speaker 1: and who she was, So that, you know, also has
Speaker 1: a little bit.
Speaker 4: To do with how the ending, you know, panned out.
Speaker 5: Tell me if I'm wrong, but to remove most of it,
Speaker 5: to simplify it down to a point, you came onto
Speaker 5: the show with an arrogance and an expectation orally that
Speaker 5: I'm assuming where we'll get to on where that has
Speaker 5: spit you out. But you walked into it believing that
Speaker 5: this was you know, I mean I had a similar prayer,
Speaker 5: which was God closed one door if this isn't meant
Speaker 5: for me, and every door slammed open. And I think
Speaker 5: I see a lot of the reasoning for that. Doesn't
Speaker 5: mean it was easy and that I didn't learn along
Speaker 5: the way, but I think there is this expectation where, hey,
Speaker 5: this is so weird that I'm going to say yes
Speaker 5: to this dating show, so against anything else that's been
Speaker 5: brought up to me in life. This has to be
Speaker 5: for a purpose of some kind. But I think the
Speaker 5: difference would have been there you were walking and knowing
Speaker 5: who the bachelor was going to be and believing that
Speaker 5: this was something that was meant to be a part
Speaker 5: of your story. So there was a little arrogance or
Speaker 5: a lot of arrogance. I won't you can clarify there was.
Speaker 1: A little to start, and then it became a lot.
Speaker 5: Okay, fair, and now you can continue because I think
Speaker 5: that's a great platform to kind of push off on
Speaker 5: why the season played out the way it did.
Speaker 3: Can I have one question that that if you if
Speaker 3: you did feel like this was God calling you to
Speaker 3: find your wife and your wife being Hannah did what
Speaker 3: did you think he was calling the other twenty nine
Speaker 3: guys for?
Speaker 1: And again in that moment, because that was again me
Speaker 1: dealing with arrogance and being naive, I believe he called
Speaker 1: me to be them, to be steps under my feet
Speaker 1: to get there. Now, that's not what I would think now.
Speaker 1: And again the arrogant guy that was, Oh, this is
Speaker 1: why I'm here, That's what I thought.
Speaker 3: Okay, well that leads perfectly into could now.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Man, Yeah, So anyway, so I just want to
Speaker 1: dive into this one pound set. I'm going to kind
Speaker 1: of change the conversation for a minute and dive into
Speaker 1: this because there's a list of things I learned and
Speaker 1: we can get into others. But I think this is
Speaker 1: probably the best message I could give to bring some
Speaker 1: listeners value here, because man, I was humbled and I
Speaker 1: think that this really helped me and has continued to
Speaker 1: help me.
Speaker 4: A lot in my life.
Speaker 1: So I want to talk about an insecurity that I
Speaker 1: didn't know I had that the show like exposed how
Speaker 1: big this insecurity was.
Speaker 4: My life.
Speaker 1: It didn't take me.
Speaker 4: Let me back up.
Speaker 1: It took me coming off the show for several weeks
Speaker 1: after episodes are airing, and I don't know exactly how many,
Speaker 1: but let's say it was just a couple of months
Speaker 1: after the you know, episodes start airing, and I'm sitting
Speaker 1: down with my brother and a mentor of my mind
Speaker 1: who happened to be my brother's father in law, and
Speaker 1: we're sitting down in his office and they're like, all right, Luke, yeah,
Speaker 1: let's sit down and talk about this. They're like, hey,
Speaker 1: we can understand why you did, you know, the whole
Speaker 1: Rugby stuff, you know, this thing over here, We can
Speaker 1: understand the Balogney scene, whatever, but like this one moment,
Speaker 1: you're standing from this other guy named Luke.
Speaker 4: Luke s.
Speaker 1: Tell us what happened because you literally lied to that
Speaker 1: guy straight to his face. And I'm sitting there and
Speaker 1: it took me a long time of like I'm trying
Speaker 1: to deflect and give excuses, and I'm like, well, this
Speaker 1: and that, and the producers behind the scenes over here,
Speaker 1: you know, manipulating me in this.
Speaker 4: All these different things. And then my brother stopped me.
Speaker 1: He goes, look, dude, you need to start taking ownership
Speaker 1: because you're just deflecting. And it took me several minutes
Speaker 1: of silence of just really trying to reflect, and I
Speaker 1: told him, I go, well, I'll be honest. You know,
Speaker 1: the words that came out of my mouth and my
Speaker 1: actions did not line up with truly who I am,
Speaker 1: what I believe it. And I was worried about what
Speaker 1: everyone in the room was thinking to me. And my
Speaker 1: brother looked at me. He was like, brother, brother, I'm
Speaker 1: proud of you, like you're taking ownership. Finally, and my
Speaker 1: mentor at the time, his name is Bucky, he goes, now,
Speaker 1: we're making some progress, and he goes, let's talk about it,
Speaker 1: because that is fear of man. So I want to
Speaker 1: talk about this insecurity and it's essentially what most people know.
Speaker 4: As being self conscious.
Speaker 1: Right, So this idea that you're so worried about what
Speaker 1: other people are thinking of you that literally the way
Speaker 1: you walk, the way you talk in your actions don't
Speaker 1: even line up with who you are and what you
Speaker 1: believe in.
Speaker 4: Does that make sense?
Speaker 1: So I started thinking replaying it, I'm like, I got
Speaker 1: eight cameras on me in the room. I got all
Speaker 1: these guys lined up. Luke gas is talking to me
Speaker 1: about conversations you know, he's having with Hannah, I'm having
Speaker 1: with Hannah that I literally just lie to his face
Speaker 1: because I'm worried about all what everyone else is thinking,
Speaker 1: except for saying truly what I believe. Almost like this
Speaker 1: like people pleaser type personality came out right, and it
Speaker 1: was all because I had fear of man and I
Speaker 1: was too self conscious, and I started talking to my
Speaker 1: mentor my brother a lot on it. And I think
Speaker 1: it's truly an amazing perspective if no matter what we're
Speaker 1: talking about in life, whether it's business, family relationships, anything like,
Speaker 1: really pay attention to the times in the moments where
Speaker 1: what you're saying, what you're doing isn't lining up with
Speaker 1: who you are and what you believe it. And I
Speaker 1: think a lot of the time, whether it's like silly
Speaker 1: things like I started thinking I was really doing a
Speaker 1: debrief on my entire life, like for example, like me
Speaker 1: sitting in algebra class and not raising my hand and
Speaker 1: asking the professor, hey, will you answer this question for me?
Speaker 1: Because I was too worried about other people thinking I
Speaker 1: wasn't intelligent in the room, and I would literally wait
Speaker 1: so after class to talk to a friend who's really
Speaker 1: good at college algebra and ask him for tutoring license
Speaker 1: because I was too scared to literally raise my hand
Speaker 1: and ask professor a simple question that I'm sure other
Speaker 1: people probably had a similar question in the room. But
Speaker 1: yet we start thinking, oh, you know, so and so
Speaker 1: might be thinking this is me or this is me,
Speaker 1: And I just wanted to share a quick scenario that
Speaker 1: I think is pretty cool, A quick little like mini
Speaker 1: mindset tool, And it's how you describe fear. So if
Speaker 1: you line up F E A R, fear is false
Speaker 1: evidence appearing real. And this is this is a little
Speaker 1: phrase if you will, or perspective mindset tool, if you will.
Speaker 1: That another mentor gave me as well. And I love
Speaker 1: this scenario. It's kind of crazy, if they'll just bear
Speaker 1: with me for a second. So picture all of us
Speaker 1: right now, the three of us standing on the top
Speaker 1: of a skyscraper. Just really it's all dully and there's
Speaker 1: kind of like a little thing that we can walk
Speaker 1: out on. That's pretty scary, right, you know, if you
Speaker 1: lose your balance, you're going to fall. If I go
Speaker 1: out on this high plank, If you will, on this skyscraper. Now,
Speaker 1: if fear is fake, right, it's false evidence appearing real.
Speaker 1: If I walk out on this skyscraper, I'm for sure
Speaker 1: gonna be freaking out.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: If I lose balance, I'm literally gonna fall off and
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna make it.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 1: Danger is real, but fear is fake. It's false evidence
Speaker 1: appearing real. So if I have great balance, right, I
Speaker 1: can perfectly fine walk out on this high plank and
Speaker 1: turn around and walk back. But when I start walking
Speaker 1: up out on it, I look down and that false
Speaker 1: evidence starts appearing like it's gonna become a reality, and
Speaker 1: it scares me. Now, the danger is real, but the
Speaker 1: fear is fake. If I would just stay calm and
Speaker 1: walk out perfect balance and walk back, I'd be totally fine.
Speaker 1: And similarly, when you walk into a room, sometimes you
Speaker 1: might be self conscious of, oh, you know, my ears
Speaker 1: might look big, or I don't know if I look
Speaker 1: good in this outfit, or my shoes don't match my shorts.
Speaker 1: Like we start sometimes in life start giving people these
Speaker 1: notions like, oh, they got to be thinking this and me,
Speaker 1: and a lot of times they're not thinking at all
Speaker 1: of that of you. At the end of the day,
Speaker 1: like people are going to listen to what you say,
Speaker 1: and they're going to pay attention.
Speaker 4: To what you do. They're not worried about your appearance.
Speaker 1: And having the thought this is another little nugget that
Speaker 1: my brother shares with me and is just like this,
Speaker 1: like what should matter most to me is what God
Speaker 1: thinks of me and not everyone else. Then I serve
Speaker 1: an audience of one as my focus, then that will
Speaker 1: allow me to go into any scenario. If I can
Speaker 1: just keep that my focus and bringing exactly who I
Speaker 1: am what I believe in to the table, being perfectly authentic,
Speaker 1: which obviously I'm a human, I'm not gonna be perfect.
Speaker 1: But if I can focus on those things and be
Speaker 1: free of worrying too much about what other people think
Speaker 1: of me, then truly I can step into any scenario
Speaker 1: and what comes out of my mouth and my actions
Speaker 1: will line up with who I am, what I believe in.
Speaker 5: I think there's two things there that when you're when
Speaker 5: you're walked in front of a million people who don't
Speaker 5: share the same faith tradition as you, probably look at
Speaker 5: it and can use to to weaponize it. And honestly, fairly,
Speaker 5: I think we both would have to say fairly because
Speaker 5: they see this man who's speaking out granted goodness, gracious,
Speaker 5: like not gonna say like, you know, you're the worst
Speaker 5: scum of the earth for doing it, But it's it's
Speaker 5: it's I think it came to the audience's mind was
Speaker 5: your man is speaking out and then you lie. But
Speaker 5: then at the same time you're still holding others to
Speaker 5: a moral standard that you don't seem to be, as
Speaker 5: you said, with your actions showing yourself, and I think
Speaker 5: it it does confuse the audience. And I also think
Speaker 5: there is this element too, where you know, pleasing God
Speaker 5: is the focus, but there's also this beautiful opportunity to
Speaker 5: try to get along with the jew and the gentile
Speaker 5: wherever they're at in life, and to try to relate
Speaker 5: with everyone and to speak with them in a language
Speaker 5: that helps people get along. And I think that's where
Speaker 5: a lot of this gets confusing. Is it felt like
Speaker 5: it was this like almost dogmatic, like this is how
Speaker 5: things are going to go mentality. And then we have
Speaker 5: this scenario with Luke S. I didn't remember his last initial,
Speaker 5: but Luke S. The people are like, wait, this guy
Speaker 5: over simple term is a hypocrite in this moment, not
Speaker 5: in general, but in this moment, and he seems he
Speaker 5: seems to show no regard for another really beautiful you
Speaker 5: know principle of let's try to get along with people.
Speaker 5: Let's try not to be the one that's always bucking
Speaker 5: the fringes here and pushing people aside. And so I
Speaker 5: think that's where fans, because we're here today to say, yeah, man, I.
Speaker 2: Don't think there's anybody.
Speaker 5: Maybe there is some troll out there as like that
Speaker 5: dude sucks, say the same thing for me and Ashley
Speaker 5: as well. So you're not alone in that camp that
Speaker 5: people think we suck. I think most people are like
Speaker 5: just confused at this, like almost aggressive take you took
Speaker 5: on this is how things are going to go, this
Speaker 5: is what's right and wrong, and if you're not following
Speaker 5: the lead, move aside. So I find the most interesting
Speaker 5: element of all this because we've admitted you've learned a lot.
Speaker 5: It's amazing, it's beautiful, like people can learn from that
Speaker 5: this the show humbled you. And I think that's the
Speaker 5: most interesting element that I want to go back to,
Speaker 5: is loot your faith is important to you because you've
Speaker 5: had an interaction with the divine that's changed your life forever.
Speaker 5: Nobody's gonna doubt that. But this show was a really
Speaker 5: hard season of for you. But also the tough seasons
Speaker 5: allow us amazing growth and so through this kind of
Speaker 5: getting slapped in the face with humble Pie.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what was going like?
Speaker 5: What like when did you get humbled? I mean, was
Speaker 5: it the Bucky moment where and he said take ownership, buddy,
Speaker 5: now we're doing something. Was it the hate that came
Speaker 5: and feeling like you couldn't do anything right? Like walk
Speaker 5: us through this this season from arrogance to humility to
Speaker 5: then growth.
Speaker 2: From the show.
Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1: I have three three moments to stick out in my head,
Speaker 1: and I'll try to be quick about them. One moment
Speaker 1: was when I was in Greece trying to thank hold
Speaker 1: on what week is that? That's that's the very end
Speaker 1: of the season. So I mean I got I got
Speaker 1: some humble pie early on in the show, like in
Speaker 1: the middle, I guess of the show as far as
Speaker 1: that goes, like slowly starts realizing how things were gonna
Speaker 1: go in the season. I didn't know I was going
Speaker 1: to be completely villainized. Villainized, yes, thank you, but yeah,
Speaker 1: somewhere so Greece was Fantasy Sweets Week and I remember
Speaker 1: sitting and man, it was beautiful.
Speaker 4: We're in We're on the eye on the creek in.
Speaker 1: The middle of the Mediterranean, and like I have like
Speaker 1: perfect place to feel like light in joy and I'm
Speaker 1: feeling the opposite. And I have my own like master suite.
Speaker 1: I got my own private pool and balcony. I remember
Speaker 1: sitting there alone in my room, waiting on a handler
Speaker 1: to come hang out with me, and it was a
Speaker 1: down day. We started filming the next day and I
Speaker 1: remember sitting there no cell phone, because you know, you
Speaker 1: land in LA and they take your phone.
Speaker 4: You don't see it again until the season.
Speaker 1: Depending on who you are, you might have a privilege
Speaker 1: here and there, but like maybe one phone call because
Speaker 1: of hometowns or something. And I'm sitting there and it
Speaker 1: hit me I have no one to ask questions.
Speaker 4: And that was another thing I learned was about community.
Speaker 1: Like, man, if you're going through something in your life,
Speaker 1: like tell a brother or a sister about it, you know,
Speaker 1: reach out to some friends and try to have some
Speaker 1: wise guidance and wise counsel in your life. So we
Speaker 1: didn't have that right we get our phones taken. So
Speaker 1: I remember that being one moment of feeling like, honestly
Speaker 1: just lonely, and I started feeling like I have all
Speaker 1: these questions I want to ask a lot of people
Speaker 1: in my life who are very wise about how to
Speaker 1: handle relationships and how to analyze situations, and I need help,
Speaker 1: and I feel isolated at this point. I'm so far
Speaker 1: in this thing, I don't really know what to do.
Speaker 1: So that was one moment I just felt really alone,
Speaker 1: and then just lack of community.
Speaker 4: And then there was a moment when.
Speaker 1: I was I really don't remember what episode just got released,
Speaker 1: but it was like two or three weeks in of
Speaker 1: so about two or three episodes.
Speaker 4: In of me being villainized.
Speaker 1: And I remember being home talking to my brother about
Speaker 1: because we're just talking about business, like, Hey, what do
Speaker 1: you want to do for a living? Now you're going
Speaker 1: to have eventually this following. You know, what do you
Speaker 1: want to use your utilize your platform for? Is it
Speaker 1: you know, a fitness business?
Speaker 4: Is it this?
Speaker 1: You know, let's let's utilize this platform. But yet that's
Speaker 1: part of our conversations and then the other part of
Speaker 1: our conversations, and I'm like dude, I want to run
Speaker 1: from the world. I want to delete my Instagram. I'm
Speaker 1: getting all this hate. I'm villainized now. I'm literally have
Speaker 1: like dms in my inbox, like dude, you are a
Speaker 1: piece of crap, like go kill yourself, Like and that's
Speaker 1: a pretty you know, like some really harsh dms of
Speaker 1: all the things under the sun you could you could
Speaker 1: think of.
Speaker 4: And it hit me in that moment. I was like.
Speaker 1: Why, Like why God would you put me through this?
Speaker 1: I thought it was for this girl at that moment. Also,
Speaker 1: I knew why it wasn't for her, but I was
Speaker 1: still wrestling, like how could any good come from this?
Speaker 1: And I was wrestling. There's no other way to put it.
Speaker 1: I was wrestling with God and I was still just
Speaker 1: and I couldn't see the light at the end of
Speaker 1: the tunn if you will. I couldn't see the good
Speaker 1: that was going to come from it. I couldn't see
Speaker 1: all these open doors in the future of my life
Speaker 1: that were going to be opened. I could I didn't
Speaker 1: see all these things he was going to use me
Speaker 1: for in the future of my life, to grow me
Speaker 1: as a man. Like I said, I didn't see my
Speaker 1: future wife at that time, I didn't see the beautiful
Speaker 1: wife I was gonna marry, and the beautiful son I
Speaker 1: was going to have in the future, and all these
Speaker 1: business opportunities and ways that I could use my platform
Speaker 1: in a positive way to really help people, because that's
Speaker 1: essentially what I believe I'm probably do on surface, inspire
Speaker 1: people to be the best version themselves and inspire people
Speaker 1: to get to know God, their creator. And that's what
Speaker 1: I've been on a warpath to, you know, live in
Speaker 1: my purpose and do and I'm doing my best to
Speaker 1: pursue that. And I didn't see any of that. I
Speaker 1: was just felt like I hit rock bottom. I'm getting
Speaker 1: all these dms of you know, go kill yourself, you're
Speaker 1: a worthless like you should just you know, do this,
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 4: You're you know, a piece of this, piece of that, and.
Speaker 1: I was I was again, even with family and having
Speaker 1: the people in my life that were in my inner
Speaker 1: circle that I could rely on and you know, get
Speaker 1: Wise's counsel from, I was getting all that, and I
Speaker 1: was still just broken because I didn't understand why I
Speaker 1: had gone through all those things.
Speaker 4: And it took me a bit of time.
Speaker 1: But then I started realizing as I'm you know when
Speaker 1: I say, I was broken, Like man, I was just
Speaker 1: crying into my pillow, wondering why and thinking, how's it
Speaker 1: gonna look next week.
Speaker 4: I had no idea it was gonna look like that.
Speaker 4: I can't imagine next week.
Speaker 1: Like the lead up the Monday night primetime television for
Speaker 1: ABC as The Bachelorette was like so daunting every lead
Speaker 1: up to every episode, I was like, just I just
Speaker 1: want to turn off the world, like the light switch.
Speaker 1: And again I can laugh about it now, but like
Speaker 1: it was the hardest thing and I by far have
Speaker 1: ever gone through in my entire life, and.
Speaker 4: Way worse than the cross for games.
Speaker 1: And I finally grasped this thing, I guess this perspective,
Speaker 1: and it was that hurt people, hurt you. And that's
Speaker 1: what burdened me as far as like we want to
Speaker 1: talk about you know, I forget the phrases or the
Speaker 1: language that are thrown around a lot besides just hate
Speaker 1: if you will, like, let's talk about social media, because
Speaker 1: everyone feels like they have a voice to be heard
Speaker 1: on social media, especially the trolls that will DM you
Speaker 1: all sorts of craziness. And I truly was burdened for
Speaker 1: those people because I received so many direct messages of
Speaker 1: just hate. And I realized that people that have true,
Speaker 1: deep issues in their life, that are truly hurt themselves
Speaker 1: have no problem with hurting others. It's the only thing
Speaker 1: they know how to do to cope with it. And
Speaker 1: that was a big thing I learned, was hurt people
Speaker 1: hurt people, and I started to not listen.
Speaker 5: Just for clarity, are you throwing yourself into the hurt
Speaker 5: category or others others?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: So as I was hurt and broken and then started
Speaker 1: to recover, I started realizing because man, I really wanted
Speaker 1: to delete my social media because it was rough, Like
Speaker 1: I didn't want to listen to the noise, you know.
Speaker 4: And then.
Speaker 1: I finally started I mean, I wouldn't if I saw dms.
Speaker 1: I'd let my uh my brother read those.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't read. I wouldn't read all those beause there's
Speaker 4: a lot of hate.
Speaker 1: But I guess what I'm saying is when I fully
Speaker 1: started grasping and understanding like, Okay, just like you guys, right,
Speaker 1: God has a plan for your life. And I started realizing, Okay,
Speaker 1: there is light at the end of the tunnel and
Speaker 1: I started developing this you know, confidence and encouragement again
Speaker 1: and you know, his plan, and then finally.
Speaker 4: Started seeing some fruits slowly you know, happened from it.
Speaker 1: But again from a psychological standpoint, what I'm saying is
Speaker 1: people that have issues in their life and that are
Speaker 1: hurt whatever it is they're going through.
Speaker 4: They will they have no problem hurting other people.
Speaker 1: Like I'm talking about trolls that are, you know, gonna
Speaker 1: throw shade until you to go kill yourself because they're
Speaker 1: hiding behind a screen on Instagram. That's what I'm referring to.
Speaker 1: And that helped me have a better understanding of I
Speaker 1: guess a better It helped me receive those messages better
Speaker 1: because really, I just it didn't hurt my feelings these messages.
Speaker 1: It really started making me hurt for those individuals because
Speaker 1: I want to see those broken hearts be mended, you know.
Speaker 1: And that didn't happen overnight. I mean talking about this
Speaker 1: moment where I was broken myself, and then I would
Speaker 1: say it took several months after the show. This is
Speaker 1: the third moment. So you asked again, I'm trying to
Speaker 1: stick to the question here of like take me through
Speaker 1: you know, these times when you were going through these things,
Speaker 1: your emotions and what you're feeling. I'd say it took
Speaker 1: me several months post the last final episode because that
Speaker 1: was a whole other thing in itself of I kind
Speaker 1: of got over it, and then the mentell all.
Speaker 4: That was.
Speaker 1: That was rough, and it took me several months after
Speaker 1: that to kind of honestly recover and be in a
Speaker 1: healthy place mentally. Several months, I would I was definitely
Speaker 1: a healthy place mentally, like directly after, but like I'm human,
Speaker 1: like going through whether it's like like we just talked about,
Speaker 1: whether it's hate on Instagram or if I was posting
Speaker 1: something of me and my family, like trying to tell
Speaker 1: a story of me spending time with my family on
Speaker 1: my Instagram, I'll just get hundreds of comments of hate
Speaker 1: about the show, and I'm like, guys, can I just
Speaker 1: like live my life over here?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 1: So that I mean, like, you guys know how it is.
Speaker 1: You know, like months to recover from that, because like
Speaker 1: I said, you guys know how it is. You'll post
Speaker 1: something probably of your family and then if you guys
Speaker 1: are trending, you know, on Twitter or something, or maybe
Speaker 1: the Bachelor. You know, posts something about you, you know
Speaker 1: you'll get flooded comments on the thing you post. It's
Speaker 1: nothing to do with the show. That is about a
Speaker 1: particular scene on the show, And it's like, really, come on, I.
Speaker 3: Do want to talk about a certain scene on the
Speaker 3: show because it was the scene that you're most notorious for, right,
Speaker 3: it was the scene where you and Hanna. Well, I
Speaker 3: guess there is the rose and the podium move. We
Speaker 3: could get there. But I was thinking about when you
Speaker 3: guys had that conversation where you said that if you'd
Speaker 3: sup with anybody, Hannah, I wouldn't be interested in continuing this. Now,
Speaker 3: given everything that you've learned, how would you navigate that
Speaker 3: conversation now?
Speaker 1: To be completely honest, I thought I handled and navigated
Speaker 1: that conversation perfectly. But ninety percent of what came out
Speaker 1: of my mouth did not air, and I can't share
Speaker 1: it because I'm under contract. But I will say this,
Speaker 1: it did not pan out the way it showed. That's
Speaker 1: all I want to say. I'll say this.
Speaker 4: Just to be clean up the contract situation.
Speaker 5: Because you got sued right like right after the show.
Speaker 5: That was like public information, right.
Speaker 1: Well, this this was my issue with the whole contract
Speaker 1: situation is I moved addresses and they were sending me
Speaker 1: notices because like I told you guys, it took me
Speaker 1: several months to get in like a healthy place how
Speaker 1: I viewed this whole situation.
Speaker 4: So I went on. I went on a terror and
Speaker 4: got on like.
Speaker 1: Dozens of podcast platforms and broke contract of sharing everything
Speaker 1: that happened behind the scenes, everything that was said to me.
Speaker 1: I'd be curious to go jennified. They were still alone anyway,
Speaker 1: and I didn't know that I would get sued. I
Speaker 1: think it was twenty or twenty five thousand dollars per
Speaker 1: breach of contract. Was there like rule thumb, And I
Speaker 1: didn't even know I was getting notices in the mail,
Speaker 1: and I had a bunch in my old address. And
Speaker 1: then finally, you know, months into going on all these
Speaker 1: podcasts and spill all the tea, I noticed that I
Speaker 1: was sued a lot of money.
Speaker 3: Were right, they didn't email you call you because we've
Speaker 3: gotten calls before, being like Ashley Ben, can you be
Speaker 3: a little bit more careful.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to think.
Speaker 1: I got a couple of emails saying like it was
Speaker 1: but it wasn't it was they're vague emails. They weren't like, hey,
Speaker 1: you're preaching contracts.
Speaker 4: Stop it.
Speaker 1: Like it was just emails of contacting them like hey,
Speaker 1: we'd like to speak to you, and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: not talking to you.
Speaker 4: It's not happening.
Speaker 5: That was my point, was the reason you're so nervous
Speaker 5: about the contract is because it has been a thing
Speaker 5: for you.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I had to get a very expensive lawyer
Speaker 1: to help me not pay them a penny when I
Speaker 1: was supposed to pay them a lot of money. And yeah,
Speaker 1: so that that was like a year drawn out process
Speaker 1: with the lawyer.
Speaker 2: I get where you're nervous.
Speaker 5: Then, So back to Ashley's question with it, which is
Speaker 5: that conversation and how it went you would have done
Speaker 5: it differently. I understand why the contract is such a
Speaker 5: focus point when it comes to these conversations, specifically about
Speaker 5: moments of the show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but to answer it, we'll let you continue.
Speaker 1: Absolutely so, And look like, I just want to be
Speaker 1: clear about this because it's hard for me sometimes to
Speaker 1: get in certain details and talk about Hannah because I
Speaker 1: don't talk to Hannah currently. I don't I remember the
Speaker 1: first few years after the show, I was really hoping
Speaker 1: that she and I could reconnect. I reached out to
Speaker 1: her via DM, email, any platform you could think of.
Speaker 1: I've tried reaching out to her multiple times. And look,
Speaker 1: I'm not throwing shade or hating on her for not replying.
Speaker 4: If I were her, I.
Speaker 1: Probably wouldn't reply either. I don't even know if she
Speaker 1: saw any of them. You know, she had so many
Speaker 1: messages beyond my crazy amount of messages in my inbox.
Speaker 1: So I'll say this, I want what's absolute best for her.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't anymore. I mean, but I remember
Speaker 1: vividly after the show, just pouring my heart out for
Speaker 1: her in prayer, praying for her future and her family
Speaker 1: and her heart. So you can imagine, you know, my
Speaker 1: heart was very invested in that show. So I said
Speaker 1: a lot of the things I said on the show
Speaker 1: to be kind of crazy, you know, like how can
Speaker 1: you tell someone you love them or feel so anyway?
Speaker 1: Not to get in those details either, but be so
Speaker 1: invested in someone that's a short period of time, and
Speaker 1: that was very again naive about a lot. But to
Speaker 1: answer your questions, Bess, I can ashually sorry for you know,
Speaker 1: being a little dodgy, but.
Speaker 4: I'll say this. I it was this simple.
Speaker 1: I held Hannah not to a standard of my own,
Speaker 1: which I did, but more so how I handled that
Speaker 1: situation was I was trying to hold her to a
Speaker 1: standard that she said she wanted.
Speaker 4: I mean, you're talking about my hometown date.
Speaker 1: Like she literally came and talked to my youth ministry,
Speaker 1: which I was helping lead, like the college and young
Speaker 1: adults at my church at the time, and that was
Speaker 1: my hometown date. She literally came to spend like a
Speaker 1: meal and spend time with about fifty people at my church,
Speaker 1: young like kids in the youth ministry, and she shared
Speaker 1: her testimony and share her story of how she came
Speaker 1: to know God, and shared all these things that she
Speaker 1: wasn't going to do in the fantasy suites because she
Speaker 1: was going to further conversation in the relationship. And she
Speaker 1: shared this path that I for sure was going to
Speaker 1: hold her to that standard of Oh, this is what
Speaker 1: you want, good, this is what I want.
Speaker 4: Let's get on this path.
Speaker 1: And look not to say anything about her in any
Speaker 1: judgmental way, Like again, I'd pray for her in her future.
Speaker 1: And I've heard that because I don't really keep up
Speaker 1: with her. But I've heard she's doing great now and
Speaker 1: that makes me happy. I don't know all that she's
Speaker 1: involved with. But that was why it panned out the
Speaker 1: way it did is I was just trying to follow
Speaker 1: what she was saying. And that's again I'm trying to
Speaker 1: be as clear and concise as possible.
Speaker 5: I think you're making sense. I think you're making sense.
Speaker 5: In the you felt like you were communicating to her
Speaker 5: things that you believed, either correctly or incorrectly.
Speaker 4: That she wanted exactly.
Speaker 5: And we saw ten percent of what you say is
Speaker 5: a longer conversation where you communicate with her, and.
Speaker 2: I do I mean, I think you know it did.
Speaker 5: It came off as uh, it came off as dogmatic,
Speaker 5: it came off as aggressive as and I guess one
Speaker 5: of the beautiful parts about the infamous segment is we
Speaker 5: will never know, because that whole footage will never be shown,
Speaker 5: of what that conversation looked like and the sensitivity you
Speaker 5: took walking into it, the wisdom that you took walking
Speaker 5: into it to communicate to her not just what you
Speaker 5: think she wanted, but what you wanted, which I think
Speaker 5: is such a vital piece of the show. Is and
Speaker 5: really of so many scenarios we've all learned from is
Speaker 5: making sure that you're communicating what you.
Speaker 2: Want and not putting your own.
Speaker 5: Opinions on somebody else because maybe you know, the assumptions
Speaker 5: that you made were things that she took offensively.
Speaker 2: Now I find your story you need.
Speaker 5: Because you've spoken here throughout this hour about what you
Speaker 5: wanted to use your platform for and it wass we close.
Speaker 5: We started this whole show with a conversation now about
Speaker 5: your wife, your son, kid on the way, also years
Speaker 5: removed from the show, and I'm still trying to get
Speaker 5: to be honest, I don't know how else to say it,
Speaker 5: still trying to get.
Speaker 2: Out of you what you've learned.
Speaker 5: Like it feels like there's still this like defensiveness when
Speaker 5: it comes to this season, and maybe that's rightfully so,
Speaker 5: because we haven't seen at all, Like we don't.
Speaker 2: See it all. But maybe the way to get to
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 5: Now you're a husband, the show is behind you, New
Speaker 5: chapters begin, new careers are starting this season of life
Speaker 5: with the show and the humility that it brought you
Speaker 5: to and the confusion that it brought you towards, and
Speaker 5: the lessons that you learned it spit you out now
Speaker 5: today to be what man to your wife, to your son,
Speaker 5: to the kid on the way, to your friends.
Speaker 2: How did it change you? Maybe is the best way
Speaker 2: to ask it.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, We talked about the fear Man conversation, the whole
Speaker 1: being self conscious right to the point where what comes
Speaker 1: out of your mouth and what your actions don't line
Speaker 1: up with who you are and what you believe in.
Speaker 1: So let's just I'll put a quick little summary statement
Speaker 1: over that as far as what I learned right is
Speaker 1: be authentic, right, be who you are, no matter the circumstance.
Speaker 4: Okay, And then I'd say, you know.
Speaker 1: I did touch on a little bit of the community aspect, right,
Speaker 1: like make sure you have some people in your corner
Speaker 1: that will fight for you and be real and tell
Speaker 1: you not just what you want to hear, but what
Speaker 1: you need to hear, which is impossible on the show
Speaker 1: because your cell phone gets stripped from you and you
Speaker 1: have zero communication with the outside world. So right, always
Speaker 1: making sure you have people in your corner that will
Speaker 1: push you to be your best and hold you accountable
Speaker 1: to standard that you want to hold.
Speaker 4: And then another one.
Speaker 1: That would be as far as what I learned is hey,
Speaker 1: look like, no matter what you've done in your life,
Speaker 1: that does not define me. What's most important is what
Speaker 1: you go through is how you're going to handle it.
Speaker 1: And a lot of people say, hey, what you go through,
Speaker 1: you can either go through it and take a seat,
Speaker 1: or you can grow through it and learn from it
Speaker 1: and make the most out of it. And that's essentially
Speaker 1: what I've done. My best to do from my experience
Speaker 1: on the show is not just go through it, but
Speaker 1: grow through it. And you know, I've learned that authenticity
Speaker 1: is the way be real and don't worry about whether
Speaker 1: people are thinking. Stay true to who you are and
Speaker 1: what you believe in. I'd say that's definitely what's most important.
Speaker 5: And so just just that in there, because I do
Speaker 5: think it's a nugget that's really essential. And Ashley and
Speaker 5: I've talked about before, but you're saying, I think people
Speaker 5: can hear this, and if they don't come from a
Speaker 5: similar faith background, they're jump they could jump to conclusions.
Speaker 5: But this fear of man and being an authentic is
Speaker 5: only done well in life when you have the openness
Speaker 5: to be held accountable by others as well.
Speaker 4: So that's good.
Speaker 5: Running your race straightforward, being authentic and burning down every
Speaker 5: bridge and every human that comes in your path. Even
Speaker 5: though that is authentic, it's not healthy. It's not what
Speaker 5: God has called you to. It's not at any level
Speaker 5: of a of a way that you would expect somebody
Speaker 5: to be a witness or to help and not her
Speaker 5: this world. And so you can only be authentic and
Speaker 5: correct me here, I'm making a statement to try to clarify. Yeah,
Speaker 5: what you're saying. You can only be authentic if you're
Speaker 5: also willing to be held accountable by a trusted group
Speaker 5: that will stand up and say check yourself.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's good. I would agree with that.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, Luke, Well, we just wanted to We
Speaker 3: want to say thank you, and we also want to
Speaker 3: get your last thoughts on Hannah Brown. She's about to
Speaker 3: get married. You said that you didn't really keep up
Speaker 3: with her. She is getting married this month to her fee. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so we just kind of wanted to see if you
Speaker 3: had anything to sit her.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I would, I mean, I would say this, you know,
Speaker 1: I hope she has an incredible marriage. I pray that
Speaker 1: God blesses it in the name of Jesus, and I
Speaker 1: hope her and her husband have a incredible marriage. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I hope bored willing, they have beautiful children.
Speaker 2: What's her husband's name, Ashley Adam Adam. He's a stud.
Speaker 3: He's a stud.
Speaker 5: Luke, thank you for joining us today. Thank you for
Speaker 5: sharing this. I know it's not easy with the contractual,
Speaker 5: the fear.
Speaker 3: Of contract, and we understand it's very frustrating to tell
Speaker 3: your story when you can't, you know, say every line that.
Speaker 2: Was, But I think you successfully did it.
Speaker 5: I don't see any red flags here that they're gonna say, Oh.
Speaker 2: The fear of contract is something.
Speaker 4: Yeah, hopefully they'll notice this in the mail to be.
Speaker 5: Weariosome of Luke. Thanks for joining us today. Hey, best
Speaker 5: of luck in the next chapter for you. I know
Speaker 5: you said that you're going to be transitioning from what
Speaker 5: you've been doing to what is coming. And then also
Speaker 5: your second child is on the way.
Speaker 2: Uh so.
Speaker 5: Goodness gracious, congratulations on one and now two beautiful wife
Speaker 5: in this family that you have.
Speaker 2: And I know new.
Speaker 5: Chapters are always exciting but also scary, so we wish
Speaker 5: you the best.
Speaker 4: Thank you, appreciate it.
Speaker 3: Thank you Sea, Sea. Well that was Luke Parker and
Speaker 3: until next time. I've been Ashley and.
Speaker 2: I'm in Ben. We'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 1: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.