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Speaker 1: Ben Higgins and Ashley I bring you Infamous.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes roses are red Flags.

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Speaker 3: Hey, everyone, welcome to another episode of Infamous. Sometimes Roses

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Speaker 3: are Red Flags. It's Ben and Ashley and we are

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Speaker 3: here with you to dive a little deeper into some

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Speaker 3: of the characters that you either loved or loathed during

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Speaker 3: the series. And today we are going back to Hannah

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Speaker 3: Brown season of The Bachelorette. This cast member. Was he misunderstood?

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Speaker 3: Has he changed? Well, today we will find out. Please

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Speaker 3: welcome Luke Parker to the show, who we just did

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Speaker 3: a little chat with before we started recording. And Luke,

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Speaker 3: you are not just married, which we had seen headlines about,

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Speaker 3: but you are father. Congratulations, dam thank you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been for all his fathers mothers out there.

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Speaker 1: You guys know, it's been quite the ride. Yes, old, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I have a nine month old and currently my

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Speaker 1: wife is twenty two weeks pregnant.

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Speaker 4: So we have we just found out wait.

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Speaker 3: The math eight math in there. You have a nine

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Speaker 3: month old?

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Speaker 1: Yes, so we're two months away from I just learned

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Speaker 1: this term. I don't know if you guys know it,

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Speaker 1: but two months away from Irish twins. So if you

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Speaker 1: have two children, whether it's a border girl that are

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Speaker 1: within a year apart, then it's considered considered Irish twins.

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Speaker 4: But they're going to be fourteen months apart.

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Speaker 3: Okay, she's nine months and she's currently pregnant. So she

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Speaker 3: got pregnant. Okay, yeah, okay, so the math that is

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Speaker 3: technically math. I'm so sorry. I'm not a mathematician obviously,

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Speaker 3: but she got pregnant within two months of having your son.

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Speaker 1: No, it was not, it wasn't that close, but it

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Speaker 1: was within a few Yes.

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Speaker 3: That's so she's twenty two weeks. Okay, again, I need

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Speaker 3: a pen and.

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Speaker 5: Paper as interesting as it is for Ashley to try

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Speaker 5: to figure this out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I am fully embarrassed right now.

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Speaker 1: You know, you're good. I'm not a math genius either.

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Speaker 1: He's roughly six months.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so sorry, I wasn't even thinking she's six months now,

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Speaker 3: and so there're gonna be three that she was she

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Speaker 3: got pregnant at three or four months?

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Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, she was four months most part?

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, all right, that's not Actually the most out

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Speaker 3: righteous thing.

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Speaker 2: Was this planned?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 2: Was this wanted to be this way? Okay?

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Speaker 3: Then does anybody plan that I don't think anybody plans

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Speaker 3: within four months of I.

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Speaker 5: Mean when we had our daughter, Jessica, I was laying

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Speaker 5: in the hospital room and Jessica goes, let's do it again,

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Speaker 5: and I said, that's insane.

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Speaker 2: I just saw what your.

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Speaker 1: Body did in the hospital room.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. She was like, this is the best. I would

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Speaker 2: do it a thousand times. And I'm like, you're your wife.

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Speaker 2: Is a chance you're crazy?

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Speaker 5: I saw this and I don't know how you would

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Speaker 5: even think about this right now. Luke So you have

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Speaker 5: a family, is this is Cooksville where you're from?

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 1: So grew up Northeast Florida, like Jacksonville area, and then.

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Speaker 4: After college, bounced around.

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Speaker 1: Played college baseball, and then after college I moved to

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Speaker 1: North Georgia to be closer to family, and that's where

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Speaker 1: my older brother lived. He and I were super tight,

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Speaker 1: and then I was there for I want to say,

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Speaker 1: like three years, and then I went on the show.

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Speaker 1: And that's why on the show I say I'm from Gainesville, Georgia,

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Speaker 1: because that's where I lived at the time, but that

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Speaker 1: wasn't where I was reiginally from. And then for the

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Speaker 1: last five years I've been in Cookeville, Tennessee, and what

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Speaker 1: brought me there was really CrossFit. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you guys are familiar with CrossFit much, Yeah, but they're

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Speaker 1: like quote unquote Michael Jordan CrossFit is Rich Frohning is

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Speaker 1: a ten time Games Champion gold medalist and he owns

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Speaker 1: CrossFit Mayhem, which is like the most famous CrossFit gym

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Speaker 1: in the world. And his poor values on his business

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Speaker 1: are faith, family, fitness service. And I got to be

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Speaker 1: a part of a few nonprofit events he was a

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Speaker 1: part of, and he invited me to come be a

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Speaker 1: part of the Mayhem family, and then he pretty much

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Speaker 1: turned me into a professional cross the athlete. And that's

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Speaker 1: what I've been doing for like the last five years

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Speaker 1: of my life and actually currently in the transitional season

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Speaker 1: of my life, so going in a different direction and

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Speaker 1: competing across it.

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Speaker 4: And that's as of like a week and a half ago.

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Speaker 2: Why is that.

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Speaker 1: I just feel like Dad's calling me to the next

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Speaker 1: chapter of my life. And it's been a huge blessing

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Speaker 1: being a part of the Man family. And I'll always

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Speaker 1: be a part of the Mayhem family. And the connections

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Speaker 1: I've built here in Cookeville, I just you know, I

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Speaker 1: got two sons now and got gotta start taking care

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Speaker 1: of my family and focusing on some other things.

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Speaker 2: So what's the difference between a cult and CrossFit?

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Speaker 4: Oh that's such a good question.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, I could talk so much on that, but

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Speaker 1: I'll keep it light. I'd say CrossFit's focus is obviously

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Speaker 1: just to build a strong community and be fit for life. Right,

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Speaker 1: So that's that's really why we do all the crazy

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Speaker 1: fitness we do.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, it does definitely seem like a cult.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So you became controversial on Hannah season not because you

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Speaker 3: weren't there for the wrong reasons. Everybody thought that you

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Speaker 3: were there for the right reasons, right, And now you

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Speaker 3: have found your wife. How did you to meet.

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Speaker 1: That's a phenomenal question. So let me back up. So

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Speaker 1: I just kind of the story I just told of

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Speaker 1: me going from North Georgia to Cookville, Tennessee and going

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Speaker 1: to pursue competitive CrossFit. I got invited f I'm rich

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Speaker 1: himself at a nonprofit event, and that same nonprofit event

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Speaker 1: the following year. Essentially it was like an OCR race,

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Speaker 1: which just stands for Obstacle Course course racing, and all

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Speaker 1: of the proceeds to sign up for this race.

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Speaker 4: It was pretty cool.

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Speaker 1: It's like a four mile run through like the woods

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Speaker 1: in Alabama, and there's like different up school or CrossFit

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Speaker 1: movement stations throughout the race. Anyway, all the proceeds went

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Speaker 1: to the nonprofit, which is Mayhem missioned. And I was

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Speaker 1: just helping serve at the event, and so was my

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Speaker 1: future wife. At the time, we had no idea who

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Speaker 1: each other were. Her name's Jennifer and yeah, we were

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Speaker 1: like helping each other build a sign, and then just

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Speaker 1: after helping serve the event, we got to know each other.

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Speaker 1: And it was actually really interesting because my buddy rich

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Speaker 1: Fronning was getting a lot of pictures because he's like this,

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Speaker 1: you know, most well known dude in the cross the space,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like a nobody in CrossFit. But then I

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Speaker 1: had like a group of young girls line up to

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Speaker 1: take pictures with me, and my wife's like, okay, is

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Speaker 1: he like a famous crossfitter?

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Speaker 4: What's going on here?

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Speaker 1: And then she found out I was on reality TV

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Speaker 1: and I took her to lunch and she was she

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Speaker 1: had one day eye brought up like all right, who's

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Speaker 1: this guy?

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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 1: Because you know, uh, there's quite the stereotype for people

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Speaker 1: that go on reality TV, so she was very concerned

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Speaker 1: with who she was going up to lunch with.

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Speaker 4: But now after it was actually pretty cool.

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Speaker 1: I'll try to keep this brief, but after being at

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Speaker 1: Mayhem and representing them as an athlete, she worked for

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Speaker 1: Mayhem and we were friends for like a year and

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Speaker 1: a half to two years before ever like really considering

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Speaker 1: dating each other, and.

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Speaker 4: I thought that really helped us learn who each other were.

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Speaker 1: And then you know, we were kind of like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know, you got the qualities of my future spouse,

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Speaker 1: so I want to go on the date. And then

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Speaker 1: things ramped up quickly and now here we are with

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Speaker 1: a son and another.

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Speaker 4: On the way.

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Speaker 2: It's it's so interesting.

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Speaker 5: You talk about the stereotype from people going to reality shows,

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Speaker 5: which I think is very true and it's probably fair

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Speaker 5: in a lot of ways. But your time on the show,

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Speaker 5: if I remember it correctly, it felt like you were

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Speaker 5: kind of going within that line of like, hey, this

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Speaker 5: is how a reality show works. And there's like a

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Speaker 5: moment kind of towards the end where things got more

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Speaker 5: serious that you kind of started to speak up and

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Speaker 5: you tried to go against the grain of really what

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Speaker 5: the show was. So, when you signed up for the

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Speaker 5: show and you said yes for the show, did you

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Speaker 5: go into it with any kind of like intentional ways

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Speaker 5: that you were going to progress through it or were

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Speaker 5: you just doing it trying to be yourself throughout it

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Speaker 5: and getting kind of mixed up in the whole madness

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Speaker 5: that is the Bachelorette.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a phenomenal question. So unlike most people. I

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Speaker 1: don't know your gout story. But unlike most people who

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Speaker 1: sign themselves up for the show and whether they get

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Speaker 1: a reality TV coach or not and get studied up

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Speaker 1: on you know what they're going to go up against.

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Speaker 5: Time out, there's reality television coaches Like excuse me, I

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Speaker 5: didn't know that was a thing. If there are no.

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Speaker 1: Dang fifty percent of the dudes on my season admitted

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Speaker 1: to that.

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Speaker 3: What do you mean they had a coach or they

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Speaker 3: had like a gal pal back at home that had

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Speaker 3: watched it.

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Speaker 5: I had like friends that were like, Hey, this is

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Speaker 5: what happens on this show, but I never.

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Speaker 1: Okay, maybe that was a bit much. So to your point,

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Speaker 1: I don't know the details. It could have been a

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Speaker 1: friend that was on Survivor or whatever. You know, given

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Speaker 1: you know tips and tricks, but anyway to answer your question,

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Speaker 1: I definitely just full transparency here. You know, at that

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Speaker 1: season of my life, I was trying to.

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Speaker 4: Figure out what to do.

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Speaker 1: I was working for my brother, and I just got

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Speaker 1: done playing college baseball, and.

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Speaker 4: I was just like a typical.

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Speaker 1: Baseball player who found this identity in baseball and was

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Speaker 1: working through that and trying to find out what to

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Speaker 1: do with his life, and just typical jock who was like,

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Speaker 1: all right, what do I do now? And then my

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Speaker 1: sister in law was a fan of the show from

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Speaker 1: years back. I just got out of a pretty tough

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Speaker 1: breakup graduating college, and she's like, oh, I'm gonna sign

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Speaker 1: Luke up. I had no idea. I thought it was

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Speaker 1: a prank call. I got a call in the truck,

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Speaker 1: like from LA and they asked me to proceede the

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Speaker 1: application process, and I was like, are some prank calling here?

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Speaker 4: Anyway?

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Speaker 1: Long story short, I saw because Houlton season was airing,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like continuing down the application process and starting

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Speaker 1: to realize that they keep asking me for the next step,

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Speaker 1: and the next step like Okay, this actually might happen,

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Speaker 1: And I was just totally naive personality wise.

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Speaker 4: I noticed that Hannah.

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Speaker 1: Brown got selected, and then she made a few comments

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Speaker 1: on Colton season like she was striving to be a

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Speaker 1: wife of noble character or excuse me, p thirty one woman,

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Speaker 1: which is Proverbs thirty one talking about the wife and

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Speaker 1: noble character, which is like the perfect blueprint to literally

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Speaker 1: the the perfect attributes of the perfect wife. And I'm thinking, oh, man,

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Speaker 1: she wants to be a Pieter. Anyone woman like this

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Speaker 1: would be the only thing that brings me on a

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Speaker 1: reality TV show where you share a girlfriend with multiple

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Speaker 1: dudes and try to narrow it down the one, which

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Speaker 1: seems crazy. Yeah, And I just went into it honestly

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Speaker 1: thinking that it was just again totally naive, thinking, oh,

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Speaker 1: this has got to be, you know, God ordained. This

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Speaker 1: has got to be why this crazy series of events

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Speaker 1: and has happened in my life, and all these dots

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Speaker 1: are connecting, and this has got to be why I'm

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Speaker 1: going to go on the show. So that is kind

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Speaker 1: of why you see me sit the mold, if you will,

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Speaker 1: in in and on that season of like having this

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Speaker 1: odd confidence in thinking I'll make it to the end,

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Speaker 1: and then also just a whirlwind of other you know

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Speaker 1: variables if you will not to mention it kind of

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Speaker 1: shot myself in the foot a few times. But we

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Speaker 1: won't have to get into all the like what aired

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Speaker 1: and what didn't air and all that stuff. But I

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Speaker 1: don't know, did you guys watch the full season?

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Speaker 4: Both of you actually?

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Speaker 3: And uh, yes we did. It has been a while,

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Speaker 3: you know, I'm looking back memory. You were always somebody

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Speaker 3: that the guys weren't the biggest fan of, and then

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Speaker 3: you're most known, of course for when it comes down

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Speaker 3: to fantasy suites. So if knowing about fantasy Suites going

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Speaker 3: into the show and what you were thinking of Hannah,

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Speaker 3: what did you expect was going to happen?

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Speaker 1: And I can I just say this before I answered

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Speaker 1: that question, and then I'd actually like you to re

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Speaker 1: answer it. I just want to be transparent here for

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Speaker 1: a second, because it's it's been a minute. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I get to share a little bit of my story

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Speaker 1: and what I.

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Speaker 4: Learned from the show.

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Speaker 1: Pretty frequently, because there's a list of things I got

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Speaker 1: to learn and how I how I deal with them

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Speaker 1: in a positive and a positive way now in my life.

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Speaker 1: But I won't lie like just thinking about all the

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Speaker 1: things I went through on a deep level and trying

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Speaker 1: to talk about certain details. I won't lie, it's it's

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Speaker 1: pretty hard for me. This is definitely one of the

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Speaker 1: hardest things I've ever gone through in my entire life.

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Speaker 1: And you guys got to see the light that was

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Speaker 1: you know, portrayed on me and and through that process,

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Speaker 1: and again, I'm so thankful for it. It's helped me

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Speaker 1: grow so in that season of my life. It helped

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Speaker 1: me grow so much as a man. It helped me

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Speaker 1: grow so much and truly realizing what I wanted in

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Speaker 1: a future wife. And it truly helped me grow a

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Speaker 1: lot in my relationship with God so and grow closer

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Speaker 1: to my family because they were I was dragging them

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Speaker 1: through the mug with me through the entire experience. But

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Speaker 1: I say all to say, I really want to do

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Speaker 1: my best to be real on this podcast and try

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Speaker 1: to provide your audience with value. And I have to

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Speaker 1: bring up the fact that you know, I still am

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Speaker 1: under contract for the rest of my life with you know,

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Speaker 1: Warner Brothers and whatnot.

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Speaker 3: We are, right, do you understand how to teeter the line?

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I know how to teeter that line.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know that.

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Speaker 5: I think maybe let's rephrase Ashley's question a little bit here,

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Speaker 5: because I think her question did bring out two scenarios.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 5: It did feel like watching it, the guys were not

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Speaker 5: like it did feel like you were isolated on your

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Speaker 5: own island, that they were not a fan of you,

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Speaker 5: maybe is the most like direct way to say it.

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Speaker 5: And it felt like the Fantasy Suites were a moment

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Speaker 5: where it was like this this whole season we were

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Speaker 5: kind of watching and wondering, Hey, who is this guy

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Speaker 5: and like what is he about to do? It feels

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Speaker 5: like the guys see something that maybe we don't see

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Speaker 5: yet in him, and then it kind of all explodes

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Speaker 5: right towards the end, which is always the worst time

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Speaker 5: to explode, because then the show ends like two weeks

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Speaker 5: later and you're still getting talked about and like you

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Speaker 5: haven't had a chance for explanation. And I think the

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Speaker 5: show good, bad, and different, it doesn't give the moment

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Speaker 5: for explanation, even if that explanation is one that the

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Speaker 5: fans still won't enjoy or like or get behind. At

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Speaker 5: least you know, now years removed, looking back, as you said,

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Speaker 5: you've grown you can explain.

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Speaker 2: So I think the now with what you said. When

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Speaker 2: a rephrase that would.

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Speaker 5: Be we know what you did, we know what you said,

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Speaker 5: we know how you went through it, we know how

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Speaker 5: the people viewed you. What have you learned like during

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Speaker 5: that time that we didn't see with your family and

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Speaker 5: your friends, and like what were you feeling? Because my

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Speaker 5: notes here said like you got defensive publicly.

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Speaker 2: I think absolutely, And.

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Speaker 5: I think that just makes it feels like you're doubling down,

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Speaker 5: so the audience doubles down.

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Speaker 2: But if we can like pull off all that.

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Speaker 5: Now yours removed, You're married with a kid and another

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Speaker 5: kid on the way, and life's looking good. What was

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Speaker 5: going on in your head? What were you feeling walk

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Speaker 5: us through that season? Yeah, maybe we didn't get to experience.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, And I'd love to dive into I got

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Speaker 1: a lot I feel like I need to say before

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Speaker 1: I dive into, like what I learned.

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Speaker 4: And I know that this will.

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Speaker 1: Help provide every listener on here some value just how

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Speaker 1: they can approach their life, all areas of life as

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Speaker 1: far as perspective goes. But yeah, first let me just

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Speaker 1: quick way a quick foundation. I know I talked about,

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Speaker 1: you know, going on the shows naive didn't really know

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Speaker 1: I was getting into kind of like the whole you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm an ex athlete, super competitor, and.

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Speaker 4: Which makes sense for the rugby scenes on the.

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Speaker 1: Show, and and and again naive, but thinking, oh, this

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Speaker 1: has got to be this has got to be.

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Speaker 4: Why I'm going on the show is because.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be the guy so naive, extreme competitor

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Speaker 1: on levels that some people can't comprehend, but also a

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Speaker 1: man that wants to be delicate.

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Speaker 4: And wants to be gentle.

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Speaker 1: And share his faith like a man, a man of

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Speaker 1: God right, that wants to share his faith and share

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Speaker 1: why he does the things he does.

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Speaker 5: And let me add into this, yes, because I think

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Speaker 5: you said something I want to add to this, and

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Speaker 5: I absolutely it's very rude, but I guess I do

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Speaker 5: want to add to thought. And also somebody that went

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Speaker 5: into it feeling a bit like God ordained this experience,

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Speaker 5: like that this was that you were on a almost

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Speaker 5: divine path towards your wife by entering into the show,

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Speaker 5: which I think is also a huge element when you're

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Speaker 5: explaining your emotions.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, So, to say the least, I was served

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Speaker 1: up a big old serving of humble pop and I think.

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Speaker 1: I think that is part of my story, you know,

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Speaker 1: is I go on there thinking this has got to

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Speaker 1: be it and having it done my way in my mind,

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Speaker 1: like I had a vision of how the whole season

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Speaker 1: was going to play out, how the filming was going

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Speaker 1: to play out, and it didn't play out anywhere remotely

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Speaker 1: close to my vision. So I the whole time tried

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Speaker 1: always bringing it back to my path that I had

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Speaker 1: a vision for, essentially leaning on my own understanding, right

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Speaker 1: and not just trying to let go and focus on, Hey,

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Speaker 1: what does God actually have in store for this path

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Speaker 1: of my life? And it was it was just the

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Speaker 1: whole thing was a crucible, you know, it was a

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Speaker 1: runing process, if you will. I was like trial by fire.

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Speaker 1: I guess it's a better way to put it. And

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Speaker 1: it really tested me and who I was. You know,

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Speaker 1: if you're putting a crucible and a lot of pressures

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Speaker 1: applied and you're squeezed, who you truly are.

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Speaker 4: Is what comes out.

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Speaker 1: And I realized I had a lot of things that

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Speaker 1: I was dealing with in my life, and I can't

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Speaker 1: wait to talk about some of those things that were

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Speaker 1: revealed to me that I grew through and again, I'll

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Speaker 1: get there. But as far as you know, you asking

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Speaker 1: like take us through the season, like what were you thinking?

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Speaker 1: What were you feeling the emotions? Man, that is a

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Speaker 1: deep loaded question, but I'll try to keep it short

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Speaker 1: and concise here. Essentially, I was in like, all right,

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Speaker 1: the mindset of all right, I'm going to go into

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Speaker 1: this without any expectations, but also kind of back of

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Speaker 1: my head like, oh, this has got to be wise

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Speaker 1: because I'm gonna end up with, you know, Hannah Brown.

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Speaker 1: And then I started really getting selfish with no, no, this

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Speaker 1: is how it's going to be. And then the competitor

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Speaker 1: in me came out. I mean, let's be let's be real.

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Speaker 1: I mean I knew this going in. You know, it's

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Speaker 1: not a typical dating scenario when you're sharing your girlfriend

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Speaker 1: with thirty other dudes to start, you know, and then

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Speaker 1: it starts narrowing down. It's almost like a gladiator setting

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Speaker 1: where it's like last man standing. You got to compete

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Speaker 1: to show that you're the one, which is an absolute

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Speaker 1: recipe for disaster if you're truly competing, right, like, you

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Speaker 1: should just be authentic and be yourself. And I think

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Speaker 1: that's what really got in the way of Like I

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Speaker 1: said earlier, there's many times where I shot myself on

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Speaker 1: the foot, whether it was you know, the rugby scene,

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Speaker 1: things that came out of my mouth, you know, lying

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Speaker 1: to some of the contestants. And we'll get there and

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Speaker 1: I'll answer why some of those things happened. But that's

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Speaker 1: essentially what was going on in my mind, and it

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Speaker 1: was just an absolute domino effect to disaster. But again

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Speaker 1: for sure isolated. A lot of the guys had singled

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Speaker 1: me out that point and they're really questioning, I can't why.

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Speaker 4: Are you keeping this guy around.

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Speaker 1: I kept hanging around till the end, and then there's

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Speaker 1: obviously a lot of questions you guys could ask me

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Speaker 1: about the ending of everything, but I'll just say this,

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Speaker 1: it was definitely very emotional for me because I also

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Speaker 1: had expectations of you know, who handles and who I

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Speaker 1: wanted Hannah to be versus you know, what she wanted

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Speaker 1: and who she was, So that, you know, also has

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Speaker 1: a little bit.

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Speaker 4: To do with how the ending, you know, panned out.

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Speaker 5: Tell me if I'm wrong, but to remove most of it,

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Speaker 5: to simplify it down to a point, you came onto

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Speaker 5: the show with an arrogance and an expectation orally that

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Speaker 5: I'm assuming where we'll get to on where that has

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Speaker 5: spit you out. But you walked into it believing that

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Speaker 5: this was you know, I mean I had a similar prayer,

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Speaker 5: which was God closed one door if this isn't meant

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Speaker 5: for me, and every door slammed open. And I think

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Speaker 5: I see a lot of the reasoning for that. Doesn't

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Speaker 5: mean it was easy and that I didn't learn along

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Speaker 5: the way, but I think there is this expectation where, hey,

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Speaker 5: this is so weird that I'm going to say yes

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Speaker 5: to this dating show, so against anything else that's been

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Speaker 5: brought up to me in life. This has to be

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Speaker 5: for a purpose of some kind. But I think the

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Speaker 5: difference would have been there you were walking and knowing

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Speaker 5: who the bachelor was going to be and believing that

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Speaker 5: this was something that was meant to be a part

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Speaker 5: of your story. So there was a little arrogance or

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Speaker 5: a lot of arrogance. I won't you can clarify there was.

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Speaker 1: A little to start, and then it became a lot.

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Speaker 5: Okay, fair, and now you can continue because I think

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Speaker 5: that's a great platform to kind of push off on

442
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:56,880
Speaker 5: why the season played out the way it did.

443
00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 3: Can I have one question that that if you if

444
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 3: you did feel like this was God calling you to

445
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 3: find your wife and your wife being Hannah did what

446
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:11,160
Speaker 3: did you think he was calling the other twenty nine

447
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 3: guys for?

448
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 1: And again in that moment, because that was again me

449
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 1: dealing with arrogance and being naive, I believe he called

450
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 1: me to be them, to be steps under my feet

451
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 1: to get there. Now, that's not what I would think now.

452
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 1: And again the arrogant guy that was, Oh, this is

453
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 1: why I'm here, That's what I thought.

454
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 3: Okay, well that leads perfectly into could now.

455
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 1: Yeah. Man, Yeah, So anyway, so I just want to

456
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 1: dive into this one pound set. I'm going to kind

457
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,119
Speaker 1: of change the conversation for a minute and dive into

458
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 1: this because there's a list of things I learned and

459
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,199
Speaker 1: we can get into others. But I think this is

460
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 1: probably the best message I could give to bring some

461
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:59,639
Speaker 1: listeners value here, because man, I was humbled and I

462
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: think that this really helped me and has continued to

463
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 1: help me.

464
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 4: A lot in my life.

465
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 1: So I want to talk about an insecurity that I

466
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 1: didn't know I had that the show like exposed how

467
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,159
Speaker 1: big this insecurity was.

468
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:15,679
Speaker 4: My life.

469
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 1: It didn't take me.

470
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 4: Let me back up.

471
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,440
Speaker 1: It took me coming off the show for several weeks

472
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 1: after episodes are airing, and I don't know exactly how many,

473
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,919
Speaker 1: but let's say it was just a couple of months

474
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 1: after the you know, episodes start airing, and I'm sitting

475
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,640
Speaker 1: down with my brother and a mentor of my mind

476
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 1: who happened to be my brother's father in law, and

477
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: we're sitting down in his office and they're like, all right, Luke, yeah,

478
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:49,920
Speaker 1: let's sit down and talk about this. They're like, hey,

479
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:53,120
Speaker 1: we can understand why you did, you know, the whole

480
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:57,159
Speaker 1: Rugby stuff, you know, this thing over here, We can

481
00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:01,919
Speaker 1: understand the Balogney scene, whatever, but like this one moment,

482
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 1: you're standing from this other guy named Luke.

483
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 4: Luke s.

484
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 1: Tell us what happened because you literally lied to that

485
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 1: guy straight to his face. And I'm sitting there and

486
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 1: it took me a long time of like I'm trying

487
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 1: to deflect and give excuses, and I'm like, well, this

488
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,679
Speaker 1: and that, and the producers behind the scenes over here,

489
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: you know, manipulating me in this.

490
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 4: All these different things. And then my brother stopped me.

491
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,879
Speaker 1: He goes, look, dude, you need to start taking ownership

492
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 1: because you're just deflecting. And it took me several minutes

493
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 1: of silence of just really trying to reflect, and I

494
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 1: told him, I go, well, I'll be honest. You know,

495
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,879
Speaker 1: the words that came out of my mouth and my

496
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 1: actions did not line up with truly who I am,

497
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,760
Speaker 1: what I believe it. And I was worried about what

498
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 1: everyone in the room was thinking to me. And my

499
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 1: brother looked at me. He was like, brother, brother, I'm

500
00:25:56,320 --> 00:26:00,199
Speaker 1: proud of you, like you're taking ownership. Finally, and my

501
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 1: mentor at the time, his name is Bucky, he goes, now,

502
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 1: we're making some progress, and he goes, let's talk about it,

503
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 1: because that is fear of man. So I want to

504
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 1: talk about this insecurity and it's essentially what most people know.

505
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 4: As being self conscious.

506
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: Right, So this idea that you're so worried about what

507
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: other people are thinking of you that literally the way

508
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 1: you walk, the way you talk in your actions don't

509
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 1: even line up with who you are and what you

510
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:26,199
Speaker 1: believe in.

511
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 4: Does that make sense?

512
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:32,639
Speaker 1: So I started thinking replaying it, I'm like, I got

513
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,640
Speaker 1: eight cameras on me in the room. I got all

514
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,679
Speaker 1: these guys lined up. Luke gas is talking to me

515
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 1: about conversations you know, he's having with Hannah, I'm having

516
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,359
Speaker 1: with Hannah that I literally just lie to his face

517
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 1: because I'm worried about all what everyone else is thinking,

518
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 1: except for saying truly what I believe. Almost like this

519
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 1: like people pleaser type personality came out right, and it

520
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 1: was all because I had fear of man and I

521
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:02,920
Speaker 1: was too self conscious, and I started talking to my

522
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:07,680
Speaker 1: mentor my brother a lot on it. And I think

523
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:14,400
Speaker 1: it's truly an amazing perspective if no matter what we're

524
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 1: talking about in life, whether it's business, family relationships, anything like,

525
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 1: really pay attention to the times in the moments where

526
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 1: what you're saying, what you're doing isn't lining up with

527
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 1: who you are and what you believe it. And I

528
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: think a lot of the time, whether it's like silly

529
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 1: things like I started thinking I was really doing a

530
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: debrief on my entire life, like for example, like me

531
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:40,359
Speaker 1: sitting in algebra class and not raising my hand and

532
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 1: asking the professor, hey, will you answer this question for me?

533
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,119
Speaker 1: Because I was too worried about other people thinking I

534
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 1: wasn't intelligent in the room, and I would literally wait

535
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 1: so after class to talk to a friend who's really

536
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 1: good at college algebra and ask him for tutoring license

537
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 1: because I was too scared to literally raise my hand

538
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: and ask professor a simple question that I'm sure other

539
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,119
Speaker 1: people probably had a similar question in the room. But

540
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 1: yet we start thinking, oh, you know, so and so

541
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 1: might be thinking this is me or this is me,

542
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 1: And I just wanted to share a quick scenario that

543
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 1: I think is pretty cool, A quick little like mini

544
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 1: mindset tool, And it's how you describe fear. So if

545
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,159
Speaker 1: you line up F E A R, fear is false

546
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 1: evidence appearing real. And this is this is a little

547
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,640
Speaker 1: phrase if you will, or perspective mindset tool, if you will.

548
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 1: That another mentor gave me as well. And I love

549
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 1: this scenario. It's kind of crazy, if they'll just bear

550
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: with me for a second. So picture all of us

551
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,880
Speaker 1: right now, the three of us standing on the top

552
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 1: of a skyscraper. Just really it's all dully and there's

553
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 1: kind of like a little thing that we can walk

554
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 1: out on. That's pretty scary, right, you know, if you

555
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: lose your balance, you're going to fall. If I go

556
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 1: out on this high plank, If you will, on this skyscraper. Now,

557
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 1: if fear is fake, right, it's false evidence appearing real.

558
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 1: If I walk out on this skyscraper, I'm for sure

559
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 1: gonna be freaking out.

560
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 4: Right.

561
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: If I lose balance, I'm literally gonna fall off and

562
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna make it.

563
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 4: Now.

564
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 1: Danger is real, but fear is fake. It's false evidence

565
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 1: appearing real. So if I have great balance, right, I

566
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 1: can perfectly fine walk out on this high plank and

567
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 1: turn around and walk back. But when I start walking

568
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 1: up out on it, I look down and that false

569
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 1: evidence starts appearing like it's gonna become a reality, and

570
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 1: it scares me. Now, the danger is real, but the

571
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 1: fear is fake. If I would just stay calm and

572
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 1: walk out perfect balance and walk back, I'd be totally fine.

573
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 1: And similarly, when you walk into a room, sometimes you

574
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 1: might be self conscious of, oh, you know, my ears

575
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 1: might look big, or I don't know if I look

576
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 1: good in this outfit, or my shoes don't match my shorts.

577
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 1: Like we start sometimes in life start giving people these

578
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 1: notions like, oh, they got to be thinking this and me,

579
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:08,920
Speaker 1: and a lot of times they're not thinking at all

580
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: of that of you. At the end of the day,

581
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 1: like people are going to listen to what you say,

582
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 1: and they're going to pay attention.

583
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 4: To what you do. They're not worried about your appearance.

584
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 1: And having the thought this is another little nugget that

585
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,360
Speaker 1: my brother shares with me and is just like this,

586
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 1: like what should matter most to me is what God

587
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,480
Speaker 1: thinks of me and not everyone else. Then I serve

588
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 1: an audience of one as my focus, then that will

589
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 1: allow me to go into any scenario. If I can

590
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: just keep that my focus and bringing exactly who I

591
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 1: am what I believe in to the table, being perfectly authentic,

592
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 1: which obviously I'm a human, I'm not gonna be perfect.

593
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 1: But if I can focus on those things and be

594
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: free of worrying too much about what other people think

595
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 1: of me, then truly I can step into any scenario

596
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,479
Speaker 1: and what comes out of my mouth and my actions

597
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 1: will line up with who I am, what I believe in.

598
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 5: I think there's two things there that when you're when

599
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 5: you're walked in front of a million people who don't

600
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 5: share the same faith tradition as you, probably look at

601
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 5: it and can use to to weaponize it. And honestly, fairly,

602
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 5: I think we both would have to say fairly because

603
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 5: they see this man who's speaking out granted goodness, gracious,

604
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 5: like not gonna say like, you know, you're the worst

605
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 5: scum of the earth for doing it, But it's it's

606
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 5: it's I think it came to the audience's mind was

607
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 5: your man is speaking out and then you lie. But

608
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 5: then at the same time you're still holding others to

609
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 5: a moral standard that you don't seem to be, as

610
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 5: you said, with your actions showing yourself, and I think

611
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 5: it it does confuse the audience. And I also think

612
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 5: there is this element too, where you know, pleasing God

613
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 5: is the focus, but there's also this beautiful opportunity to

614
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 5: try to get along with the jew and the gentile

615
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 5: wherever they're at in life, and to try to relate

616
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 5: with everyone and to speak with them in a language

617
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 5: that helps people get along. And I think that's where

618
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 5: a lot of this gets confusing. Is it felt like

619
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 5: it was this like almost dogmatic, like this is how

620
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 5: things are going to go mentality. And then we have

621
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:33,240
Speaker 5: this scenario with Luke S. I didn't remember his last initial,

622
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 5: but Luke S. The people are like, wait, this guy

623
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 5: over simple term is a hypocrite in this moment, not

624
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 5: in general, but in this moment, and he seems he

625
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 5: seems to show no regard for another really beautiful you

626
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 5: know principle of let's try to get along with people.

627
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:57,120
Speaker 5: Let's try not to be the one that's always bucking

628
00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 5: the fringes here and pushing people aside. And so I

629
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 5: think that's where fans, because we're here today to say, yeah, man, I.

630
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 2: Don't think there's anybody.

631
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 5: Maybe there is some troll out there as like that

632
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 5: dude sucks, say the same thing for me and Ashley

633
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 5: as well. So you're not alone in that camp that

634
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 5: people think we suck. I think most people are like

635
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 5: just confused at this, like almost aggressive take you took

636
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 5: on this is how things are going to go, this

637
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 5: is what's right and wrong, and if you're not following

638
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 5: the lead, move aside. So I find the most interesting

639
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 5: element of all this because we've admitted you've learned a lot.

640
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 5: It's amazing, it's beautiful, like people can learn from that

641
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 5: this the show humbled you. And I think that's the

642
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 5: most interesting element that I want to go back to,

643
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 5: is loot your faith is important to you because you've

644
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,959
Speaker 5: had an interaction with the divine that's changed your life forever.

645
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 5: Nobody's gonna doubt that. But this show was a really

646
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 5: hard season of for you. But also the tough seasons

647
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,800
Speaker 5: allow us amazing growth and so through this kind of

648
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:15,800
Speaker 5: getting slapped in the face with humble Pie.

649
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, what was going like?

650
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 5: What like when did you get humbled? I mean, was

651
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 5: it the Bucky moment where and he said take ownership, buddy,

652
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 5: now we're doing something. Was it the hate that came

653
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 5: and feeling like you couldn't do anything right? Like walk

654
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:38,719
Speaker 5: us through this this season from arrogance to humility to

655
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 5: then growth.

656
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 2: From the show.

657
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely.

658
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:48,439
Speaker 1: I have three three moments to stick out in my head,

659
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 1: and I'll try to be quick about them. One moment

660
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:56,319
Speaker 1: was when I was in Greece trying to thank hold

661
00:34:56,360 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 1: on what week is that? That's that's the very end

662
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 1: of the season. So I mean I got I got

663
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 1: some humble pie early on in the show, like in

664
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 1: the middle, I guess of the show as far as

665
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 1: that goes, like slowly starts realizing how things were gonna

666
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 1: go in the season. I didn't know I was going

667
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:20,279
Speaker 1: to be completely villainized. Villainized, yes, thank you, but yeah,

668
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 1: somewhere so Greece was Fantasy Sweets Week and I remember

669
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 1: sitting and man, it was beautiful.

670
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 4: We're in We're on the eye on the creek in.

671
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 1: The middle of the Mediterranean, and like I have like

672
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: perfect place to feel like light in joy and I'm

673
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 1: feeling the opposite. And I have my own like master suite.

674
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:44,879
Speaker 1: I got my own private pool and balcony. I remember

675
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,840
Speaker 1: sitting there alone in my room, waiting on a handler

676
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 1: to come hang out with me, and it was a

677
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 1: down day. We started filming the next day and I

678
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 1: remember sitting there no cell phone, because you know, you

679
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 1: land in LA and they take your phone.

680
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 4: You don't see it again until the season.

681
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 1: Depending on who you are, you might have a privilege

682
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: here and there, but like maybe one phone call because

683
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 1: of hometowns or something. And I'm sitting there and it

684
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:16,240
Speaker 1: hit me I have no one to ask questions.

685
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 4: And that was another thing I learned was about community.

686
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 1: Like, man, if you're going through something in your life,

687
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: like tell a brother or a sister about it, you know,

688
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 1: reach out to some friends and try to have some

689
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:32,400
Speaker 1: wise guidance and wise counsel in your life. So we

690
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,400
Speaker 1: didn't have that right we get our phones taken. So

691
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,840
Speaker 1: I remember that being one moment of feeling like, honestly

692
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 1: just lonely, and I started feeling like I have all

693
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,400
Speaker 1: these questions I want to ask a lot of people

694
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 1: in my life who are very wise about how to

695
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:51,360
Speaker 1: handle relationships and how to analyze situations, and I need help,

696
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,759
Speaker 1: and I feel isolated at this point. I'm so far

697
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 1: in this thing, I don't really know what to do.

698
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 1: So that was one moment I just felt really alone,

699
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 1: and then just lack of community.

700
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,280
Speaker 4: And then there was a moment when.

701
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 1: I was I really don't remember what episode just got released,

702
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 1: but it was like two or three weeks in of

703
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 1: so about two or three episodes.

704
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 4: In of me being villainized.

705
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 1: And I remember being home talking to my brother about

706
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,360
Speaker 1: because we're just talking about business, like, Hey, what do

707
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 1: you want to do for a living? Now you're going

708
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:33,360
Speaker 1: to have eventually this following. You know, what do you

709
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 1: want to use your utilize your platform for? Is it

710
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 1: you know, a fitness business?

711
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 4: Is it this?

712
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:41,319
Speaker 1: You know, let's let's utilize this platform. But yet that's

713
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,360
Speaker 1: part of our conversations and then the other part of

714
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,359
Speaker 1: our conversations, and I'm like dude, I want to run

715
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 1: from the world. I want to delete my Instagram. I'm

716
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 1: getting all this hate. I'm villainized now. I'm literally have

717
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 1: like dms in my inbox, like dude, you are a

718
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 1: piece of crap, like go kill yourself, Like and that's

719
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:04,880
Speaker 1: a pretty you know, like some really harsh dms of

720
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,879
Speaker 1: all the things under the sun you could you could

721
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:07,239
Speaker 1: think of.

722
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:10,279
Speaker 4: And it hit me in that moment. I was like.

723
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 1: Why, Like why God would you put me through this?

724
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 1: I thought it was for this girl at that moment. Also,

725
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 1: I knew why it wasn't for her, but I was

726
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: still wrestling, like how could any good come from this?

727
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:32,279
Speaker 1: And I was wrestling. There's no other way to put it.

728
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 1: I was wrestling with God and I was still just

729
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:38,759
Speaker 1: and I couldn't see the light at the end of

730
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 1: the tunn if you will. I couldn't see the good

731
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 1: that was going to come from it. I couldn't see

732
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 1: all these open doors in the future of my life

733
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 1: that were going to be opened. I could I didn't

734
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:46,799
Speaker 1: see all these things he was going to use me

735
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 1: for in the future of my life, to grow me

736
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:50,840
Speaker 1: as a man. Like I said, I didn't see my

737
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,320
Speaker 1: future wife at that time, I didn't see the beautiful

738
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 1: wife I was gonna marry, and the beautiful son I

739
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 1: was going to have in the future, and all these

740
00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,200
Speaker 1: business opportunities and ways that I could use my platform

741
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 1: in a positive way to really help people, because that's

742
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 1: essentially what I believe I'm probably do on surface, inspire

743
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 1: people to be the best version themselves and inspire people

744
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,840
Speaker 1: to get to know God, their creator. And that's what

745
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:16,239
Speaker 1: I've been on a warpath to, you know, live in

746
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:21,319
Speaker 1: my purpose and do and I'm doing my best to

747
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 1: pursue that. And I didn't see any of that. I

748
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 1: was just felt like I hit rock bottom. I'm getting

749
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:29,399
Speaker 1: all these dms of you know, go kill yourself, you're

750
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 1: a worthless like you should just you know, do this,

751
00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 1: do that.

752
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 4: You're you know, a piece of this, piece of that, and.

753
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 1: I was I was again, even with family and having

754
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 1: the people in my life that were in my inner

755
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,239
Speaker 1: circle that I could rely on and you know, get

756
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 1: Wise's counsel from, I was getting all that, and I

757
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 1: was still just broken because I didn't understand why I

758
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,280
Speaker 1: had gone through all those things.

759
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 4: And it took me a bit of time.

760
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 1: But then I started realizing as I'm you know when

761
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 1: I say, I was broken, Like man, I was just

762
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 1: crying into my pillow, wondering why and thinking, how's it

763
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 1: gonna look next week.

764
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 4: I had no idea it was gonna look like that.

765
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:09,479
Speaker 4: I can't imagine next week.

766
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 1: Like the lead up the Monday night primetime television for

767
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 1: ABC as The Bachelorette was like so daunting every lead

768
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:21,799
Speaker 1: up to every episode, I was like, just I just

769
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:23,760
Speaker 1: want to turn off the world, like the light switch.

770
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 1: And again I can laugh about it now, but like

771
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,320
Speaker 1: it was the hardest thing and I by far have

772
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 1: ever gone through in my entire life, and.

773
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 4: Way worse than the cross for games.

774
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:43,239
Speaker 1: And I finally grasped this thing, I guess this perspective,

775
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,839
Speaker 1: and it was that hurt people, hurt you. And that's

776
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 1: what burdened me as far as like we want to

777
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 1: talk about you know, I forget the phrases or the

778
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 1: language that are thrown around a lot besides just hate

779
00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:00,919
Speaker 1: if you will, like, let's talk about social media, because

780
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 1: everyone feels like they have a voice to be heard

781
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 1: on social media, especially the trolls that will DM you

782
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:10,360
Speaker 1: all sorts of craziness. And I truly was burdened for

783
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 1: those people because I received so many direct messages of

784
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 1: just hate. And I realized that people that have true,

785
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:20,279
Speaker 1: deep issues in their life, that are truly hurt themselves

786
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,319
Speaker 1: have no problem with hurting others. It's the only thing

787
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 1: they know how to do to cope with it. And

788
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:26,839
Speaker 1: that was a big thing I learned, was hurt people

789
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 1: hurt people, and I started to not listen.

790
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:33,359
Speaker 5: Just for clarity, are you throwing yourself into the hurt

791
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,720
Speaker 5: category or others others?

792
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 2: Okay?

793
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah.

794
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 1: So as I was hurt and broken and then started

795
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:44,359
Speaker 1: to recover, I started realizing because man, I really wanted

796
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 1: to delete my social media because it was rough, Like

797
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:47,799
Speaker 1: I didn't want to listen to the noise, you know.

798
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 4: And then.

799
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 1: I finally started I mean, I wouldn't if I saw dms.

800
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 1: I'd let my uh my brother read those.

801
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 4: I wouldn't read. I wouldn't read all those beause there's

802
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 4: a lot of hate.

803
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 1: But I guess what I'm saying is when I fully

804
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:07,719
Speaker 1: started grasping and understanding like, Okay, just like you guys, right,

805
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 1: God has a plan for your life. And I started realizing, Okay,

806
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:12,880
Speaker 1: there is light at the end of the tunnel and

807
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 1: I started developing this you know, confidence and encouragement again

808
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,320
Speaker 1: and you know, his plan, and then finally.

809
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 4: Started seeing some fruits slowly you know, happened from it.

810
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 1: But again from a psychological standpoint, what I'm saying is

811
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:29,480
Speaker 1: people that have issues in their life and that are

812
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 1: hurt whatever it is they're going through.

813
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 4: They will they have no problem hurting other people.

814
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 1: Like I'm talking about trolls that are, you know, gonna

815
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:38,839
Speaker 1: throw shade until you to go kill yourself because they're

816
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:42,840
Speaker 1: hiding behind a screen on Instagram. That's what I'm referring to.

817
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 1: And that helped me have a better understanding of I

818
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,280
Speaker 1: guess a better It helped me receive those messages better

819
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:55,840
Speaker 1: because really, I just it didn't hurt my feelings these messages.

820
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 1: It really started making me hurt for those individuals because

821
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:02,920
Speaker 1: I want to see those broken hearts be mended, you know.

822
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 1: And that didn't happen overnight. I mean talking about this

823
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,720
Speaker 1: moment where I was broken myself, and then I would

824
00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 1: say it took several months after the show. This is

825
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 1: the third moment. So you asked again, I'm trying to

826
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:21,680
Speaker 1: stick to the question here of like take me through

827
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:23,879
Speaker 1: you know, these times when you were going through these things,

828
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,279
Speaker 1: your emotions and what you're feeling. I'd say it took

829
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 1: me several months post the last final episode because that

830
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 1: was a whole other thing in itself of I kind

831
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 1: of got over it, and then the mentell all.

832
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:38,919
Speaker 4: That was.

833
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:46,759
Speaker 1: That was rough, and it took me several months after

834
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 1: that to kind of honestly recover and be in a

835
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 1: healthy place mentally. Several months, I would I was definitely

836
00:43:56,840 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 1: a healthy place mentally, like directly after, but like I'm human,

837
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 1: like going through whether it's like like we just talked about,

838
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 1: whether it's hate on Instagram or if I was posting

839
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 1: something of me and my family, like trying to tell

840
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 1: a story of me spending time with my family on

841
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:17,440
Speaker 1: my Instagram, I'll just get hundreds of comments of hate

842
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:20,359
Speaker 1: about the show, and I'm like, guys, can I just

843
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 1: like live my life over here?

844
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 4: You know?

845
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 1: So that I mean, like, you guys know how it is.

846
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 1: You know, like months to recover from that, because like

847
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,399
Speaker 1: I said, you guys know how it is. You'll post

848
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 1: something probably of your family and then if you guys

849
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:35,360
Speaker 1: are trending, you know, on Twitter or something, or maybe

850
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 1: the Bachelor. You know, posts something about you, you know

851
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,319
Speaker 1: you'll get flooded comments on the thing you post. It's

852
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 1: nothing to do with the show. That is about a

853
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:56,879
Speaker 1: particular scene on the show, And it's like, really, come on, I.

854
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 3: Do want to talk about a certain scene on the

855
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 3: show because it was the scene that you're most notorious for, right,

856
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 3: it was the scene where you and Hanna. Well, I

857
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:12,319
Speaker 3: guess there is the rose and the podium move. We

858
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 3: could get there. But I was thinking about when you

859
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:17,759
Speaker 3: guys had that conversation where you said that if you'd

860
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 3: sup with anybody, Hannah, I wouldn't be interested in continuing this. Now,

861
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:26,880
Speaker 3: given everything that you've learned, how would you navigate that

862
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 3: conversation now?

863
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:31,360
Speaker 1: To be completely honest, I thought I handled and navigated

864
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:35,719
Speaker 1: that conversation perfectly. But ninety percent of what came out

865
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 1: of my mouth did not air, and I can't share

866
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,440
Speaker 1: it because I'm under contract. But I will say this,

867
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:44,719
Speaker 1: it did not pan out the way it showed. That's

868
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 1: all I want to say. I'll say this.

869
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 4: Just to be clean up the contract situation.

870
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 5: Because you got sued right like right after the show.

871
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 5: That was like public information, right.

872
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 1: Well, this this was my issue with the whole contract

873
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:08,279
Speaker 1: situation is I moved addresses and they were sending me

874
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 1: notices because like I told you guys, it took me

875
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:15,040
Speaker 1: several months to get in like a healthy place how

876
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:16,800
Speaker 1: I viewed this whole situation.

877
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:19,400
Speaker 4: So I went on. I went on a terror and

878
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 4: got on like.

879
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 1: Dozens of podcast platforms and broke contract of sharing everything

880
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 1: that happened behind the scenes, everything that was said to me.

881
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 1: I'd be curious to go jennified. They were still alone anyway,

882
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:41,960
Speaker 1: and I didn't know that I would get sued. I

883
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,279
Speaker 1: think it was twenty or twenty five thousand dollars per

884
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:47,440
Speaker 1: breach of contract. Was there like rule thumb, And I

885
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:49,319
Speaker 1: didn't even know I was getting notices in the mail,

886
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:51,600
Speaker 1: and I had a bunch in my old address. And

887
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:55,680
Speaker 1: then finally, you know, months into going on all these

888
00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:59,320
Speaker 1: podcasts and spill all the tea, I noticed that I

889
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 1: was sued a lot of money.

890
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 3: Were right, they didn't email you call you because we've

891
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 3: gotten calls before, being like Ashley Ben, can you be

892
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 3: a little bit more careful.

893
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 4: I'm trying to think.

894
00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 1: I got a couple of emails saying like it was

895
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 1: but it wasn't it was they're vague emails. They weren't like, hey,

896
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:18,840
Speaker 1: you're preaching contracts.

897
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 4: Stop it.

898
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:24,359
Speaker 1: Like it was just emails of contacting them like hey,

899
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:26,839
Speaker 1: we'd like to speak to you, and I'm like, I'm

900
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 1: not talking to you.

901
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:28,480
Speaker 4: It's not happening.

902
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 5: That was my point, was the reason you're so nervous

903
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 5: about the contract is because it has been a thing

904
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 5: for you.

905
00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I had to get a very expensive lawyer

906
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 1: to help me not pay them a penny when I

907
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 1: was supposed to pay them a lot of money. And yeah,

908
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:50,520
Speaker 1: so that that was like a year drawn out process

909
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:51,240
Speaker 1: with the lawyer.

910
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 2: I get where you're nervous.

911
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:56,400
Speaker 5: Then, So back to Ashley's question with it, which is

912
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 5: that conversation and how it went you would have done

913
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:06,320
Speaker 5: it differently. I understand why the contract is such a

914
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 5: focus point when it comes to these conversations, specifically about

915
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:11,360
Speaker 5: moments of the show.

916
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, but to answer it, we'll let you continue.

917
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 1: Absolutely so, And look like, I just want to be

918
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 1: clear about this because it's hard for me sometimes to

919
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:30,279
Speaker 1: get in certain details and talk about Hannah because I

920
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:34,799
Speaker 1: don't talk to Hannah currently. I don't I remember the

921
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 1: first few years after the show, I was really hoping

922
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 1: that she and I could reconnect. I reached out to

923
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 1: her via DM, email, any platform you could think of.

924
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 1: I've tried reaching out to her multiple times. And look,

925
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 1: I'm not throwing shade or hating on her for not replying.

926
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 4: If I were her, I.

927
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:53,440
Speaker 1: Probably wouldn't reply either. I don't even know if she

928
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:55,480
Speaker 1: saw any of them. You know, she had so many

929
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 1: messages beyond my crazy amount of messages in my inbox.

930
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:05,399
Speaker 1: So I'll say this, I want what's absolute best for her.

931
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 1: You know, I don't anymore. I mean, but I remember

932
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 1: vividly after the show, just pouring my heart out for

933
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 1: her in prayer, praying for her future and her family

934
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 1: and her heart. So you can imagine, you know, my

935
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 1: heart was very invested in that show. So I said

936
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 1: a lot of the things I said on the show

937
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 1: to be kind of crazy, you know, like how can

938
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:40,040
Speaker 1: you tell someone you love them or feel so anyway?

939
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:42,759
Speaker 1: Not to get in those details either, but be so

940
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:46,799
Speaker 1: invested in someone that's a short period of time, and

941
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 1: that was very again naive about a lot. But to

942
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 1: answer your questions, Bess, I can ashually sorry for you know,

943
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 1: being a little dodgy, but.

944
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:02,720
Speaker 4: I'll say this. I it was this simple.

945
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:06,720
Speaker 1: I held Hannah not to a standard of my own,

946
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 1: which I did, but more so how I handled that

947
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 1: situation was I was trying to hold her to a

948
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:14,440
Speaker 1: standard that she said she wanted.

949
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 4: I mean, you're talking about my hometown date.

950
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:21,240
Speaker 1: Like she literally came and talked to my youth ministry,

951
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 1: which I was helping lead, like the college and young

952
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 1: adults at my church at the time, and that was

953
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:28,040
Speaker 1: my hometown date. She literally came to spend like a

954
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 1: meal and spend time with about fifty people at my church,

955
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:36,840
Speaker 1: young like kids in the youth ministry, and she shared

956
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:39,359
Speaker 1: her testimony and share her story of how she came

957
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 1: to know God, and shared all these things that she

958
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 1: wasn't going to do in the fantasy suites because she

959
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 1: was going to further conversation in the relationship. And she

960
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:51,319
Speaker 1: shared this path that I for sure was going to

961
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:53,839
Speaker 1: hold her to that standard of Oh, this is what

962
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:55,320
Speaker 1: you want, good, this is what I want.

963
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 4: Let's get on this path.

964
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:01,160
Speaker 1: And look not to say anything about her in any

965
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:06,360
Speaker 1: judgmental way, Like again, I'd pray for her in her future.

966
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:09,080
Speaker 1: And I've heard that because I don't really keep up

967
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 1: with her. But I've heard she's doing great now and

968
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 1: that makes me happy. I don't know all that she's

969
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:18,799
Speaker 1: involved with. But that was why it panned out the

970
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:22,400
Speaker 1: way it did is I was just trying to follow

971
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:26,480
Speaker 1: what she was saying. And that's again I'm trying to

972
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:28,040
Speaker 1: be as clear and concise as possible.

973
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:30,919
Speaker 5: I think you're making sense. I think you're making sense.

974
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 5: In the you felt like you were communicating to her

975
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:41,719
Speaker 5: things that you believed, either correctly or incorrectly.

976
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:43,400
Speaker 4: That she wanted exactly.

977
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 5: And we saw ten percent of what you say is

978
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 5: a longer conversation where you communicate with her, and.

979
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:57,839
Speaker 2: I do I mean, I think you know it did.

980
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 5: It came off as uh, it came off as dogmatic,

981
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 5: it came off as aggressive as and I guess one

982
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:13,240
Speaker 5: of the beautiful parts about the infamous segment is we

983
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:17,040
Speaker 5: will never know, because that whole footage will never be shown,

984
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,400
Speaker 5: of what that conversation looked like and the sensitivity you

985
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 5: took walking into it, the wisdom that you took walking

986
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:27,319
Speaker 5: into it to communicate to her not just what you

987
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:30,879
Speaker 5: think she wanted, but what you wanted, which I think

988
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:34,440
Speaker 5: is such a vital piece of the show. Is and

989
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:37,759
Speaker 5: really of so many scenarios we've all learned from is

990
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 5: making sure that you're communicating what you.

991
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:41,240
Speaker 2: Want and not putting your own.

992
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:52,040
Speaker 5: Opinions on somebody else because maybe you know, the assumptions

993
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:56,719
Speaker 5: that you made were things that she took offensively.

994
00:52:56,840 --> 00:53:00,040
Speaker 2: Now I find your story you need.

995
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 5: Because you've spoken here throughout this hour about what you

996
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 5: wanted to use your platform for and it wass we close.

997
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 5: We started this whole show with a conversation now about

998
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 5: your wife, your son, kid on the way, also years

999
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:25,800
Speaker 5: removed from the show, and I'm still trying to get

1000
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 5: to be honest, I don't know how else to say it,

1001
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 5: still trying to get.

1002
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:30,480
Speaker 2: Out of you what you've learned.

1003
00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 5: Like it feels like there's still this like defensiveness when

1004
00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:38,319
Speaker 5: it comes to this season, and maybe that's rightfully so,

1005
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 5: because we haven't seen at all, Like we don't.

1006
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:45,880
Speaker 2: See it all. But maybe the way to get to

1007
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:46,840
Speaker 2: it is.

1008
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:54,000
Speaker 5: Now you're a husband, the show is behind you, New

1009
00:53:54,080 --> 00:54:00,640
Speaker 5: chapters begin, new careers are starting this season of life

1010
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:04,400
Speaker 5: with the show and the humility that it brought you

1011
00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:07,920
Speaker 5: to and the confusion that it brought you towards, and

1012
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:11,560
Speaker 5: the lessons that you learned it spit you out now

1013
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 5: today to be what man to your wife, to your son,

1014
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:18,080
Speaker 5: to the kid on the way, to your friends.

1015
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:21,399
Speaker 2: How did it change you? Maybe is the best way

1016
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:21,840
Speaker 2: to ask it.

1017
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:23,400
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1018
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:27,880
Speaker 1: Absolutely, We talked about the fear Man conversation, the whole

1019
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 1: being self conscious right to the point where what comes

1020
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:33,279
Speaker 1: out of your mouth and what your actions don't line

1021
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 1: up with who you are and what you believe in.

1022
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:37,400
Speaker 1: So let's just I'll put a quick little summary statement

1023
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 1: over that as far as what I learned right is

1024
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:45,879
Speaker 1: be authentic, right, be who you are, no matter the circumstance.

1025
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:50,640
Speaker 4: Okay, And then I'd say, you know.

1026
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:53,399
Speaker 1: I did touch on a little bit of the community aspect, right,

1027
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:55,840
Speaker 1: like make sure you have some people in your corner

1028
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:58,000
Speaker 1: that will fight for you and be real and tell

1029
00:54:58,040 --> 00:54:59,799
Speaker 1: you not just what you want to hear, but what

1030
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 1: you need to hear, which is impossible on the show

1031
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:04,920
Speaker 1: because your cell phone gets stripped from you and you

1032
00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:08,280
Speaker 1: have zero communication with the outside world. So right, always

1033
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:10,799
Speaker 1: making sure you have people in your corner that will

1034
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 1: push you to be your best and hold you accountable

1035
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 1: to standard that you want to hold.

1036
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:17,840
Speaker 4: And then another one.

1037
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:20,279
Speaker 1: That would be as far as what I learned is hey,

1038
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:23,160
Speaker 1: look like, no matter what you've done in your life,

1039
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:28,680
Speaker 1: that does not define me. What's most important is what

1040
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:32,239
Speaker 1: you go through is how you're going to handle it.

1041
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:35,120
Speaker 1: And a lot of people say, hey, what you go through,

1042
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:38,840
Speaker 1: you can either go through it and take a seat,

1043
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:41,319
Speaker 1: or you can grow through it and learn from it

1044
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:44,040
Speaker 1: and make the most out of it. And that's essentially

1045
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:45,960
Speaker 1: what I've done. My best to do from my experience

1046
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:48,080
Speaker 1: on the show is not just go through it, but

1047
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:53,840
Speaker 1: grow through it. And you know, I've learned that authenticity

1048
00:55:54,120 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 1: is the way be real and don't worry about whether

1049
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:02,200
Speaker 1: people are thinking. Stay true to who you are and

1050
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:05,360
Speaker 1: what you believe in. I'd say that's definitely what's most important.

1051
00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:08,400
Speaker 5: And so just just that in there, because I do

1052
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:12,360
Speaker 5: think it's a nugget that's really essential. And Ashley and

1053
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:16,800
Speaker 5: I've talked about before, but you're saying, I think people

1054
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:20,480
Speaker 5: can hear this, and if they don't come from a

1055
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:24,359
Speaker 5: similar faith background, they're jump they could jump to conclusions.

1056
00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:28,279
Speaker 5: But this fear of man and being an authentic is

1057
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:33,560
Speaker 5: only done well in life when you have the openness

1058
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:36,360
Speaker 5: to be held accountable by others as well.

1059
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:38,760
Speaker 4: So that's good.

1060
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 5: Running your race straightforward, being authentic and burning down every

1061
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:48,600
Speaker 5: bridge and every human that comes in your path. Even

1062
00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 5: though that is authentic, it's not healthy. It's not what

1063
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:53,720
Speaker 5: God has called you to. It's not at any level

1064
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:57,400
Speaker 5: of a of a way that you would expect somebody

1065
00:56:57,440 --> 00:56:59,880
Speaker 5: to be a witness or to help and not her

1066
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:05,560
Speaker 5: this world. And so you can only be authentic and

1067
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:09,720
Speaker 5: correct me here, I'm making a statement to try to clarify. Yeah,

1068
00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 5: what you're saying. You can only be authentic if you're

1069
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:19,120
Speaker 5: also willing to be held accountable by a trusted group

1070
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 5: that will stand up and say check yourself.

1071
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:26,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's good. I would agree with that.

1072
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:29,840
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, Luke, Well, we just wanted to We

1073
00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,520
Speaker 3: want to say thank you, and we also want to

1074
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:37,040
Speaker 3: get your last thoughts on Hannah Brown. She's about to

1075
00:57:37,040 --> 00:57:38,840
Speaker 3: get married. You said that you didn't really keep up

1076
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:44,600
Speaker 3: with her. She is getting married this month to her fee. Yeah,

1077
00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 3: so we just kind of wanted to see if you

1078
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:47,360
Speaker 3: had anything to sit her.

1079
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:51,920
Speaker 1: Yeah. I would, I mean, I would say this, you know,

1080
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:55,720
Speaker 1: I hope she has an incredible marriage. I pray that

1081
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,360
Speaker 1: God blesses it in the name of Jesus, and I

1082
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:01,800
Speaker 1: hope her and her husband have a incredible marriage. Yeah,

1083
00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:04,920
Speaker 1: and I hope bored willing, they have beautiful children.

1084
00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 2: What's her husband's name, Ashley Adam Adam. He's a stud.

1085
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:11,000
Speaker 3: He's a stud.

1086
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:16,840
Speaker 5: Luke, thank you for joining us today. Thank you for

1087
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:22,200
Speaker 5: sharing this. I know it's not easy with the contractual,

1088
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 5: the fear.

1089
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:26,760
Speaker 3: Of contract, and we understand it's very frustrating to tell

1090
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:30,040
Speaker 3: your story when you can't, you know, say every line that.

1091
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 2: Was, But I think you successfully did it.

1092
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:37,680
Speaker 5: I don't see any red flags here that they're gonna say, Oh.

1093
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:38,200
Speaker 2: The fear of contract is something.

1094
00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:40,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, hopefully they'll notice this in the mail to be.

1095
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:43,919
Speaker 5: Weariosome of Luke. Thanks for joining us today. Hey, best

1096
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:45,920
Speaker 5: of luck in the next chapter for you. I know

1097
00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:49,320
Speaker 5: you said that you're going to be transitioning from what

1098
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:51,960
Speaker 5: you've been doing to what is coming. And then also

1099
00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:53,439
Speaker 5: your second child is on the way.

1100
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:54,640
Speaker 2: Uh so.

1101
00:58:56,200 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 5: Goodness gracious, congratulations on one and now two beautiful wife

1102
00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:03,640
Speaker 5: in this family that you have.

1103
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:05,200
Speaker 2: And I know new.

1104
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:09,640
Speaker 5: Chapters are always exciting but also scary, so we wish

1105
00:59:09,640 --> 00:59:10,080
Speaker 5: you the best.

1106
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 4: Thank you, appreciate it.

1107
00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:18,959
Speaker 3: Thank you Sea, Sea. Well that was Luke Parker and

1108
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,560
Speaker 3: until next time. I've been Ashley and.

1109
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:22,960
Speaker 2: I'm in Ben. We'll talk to you soon.

1110
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:26,920
Speaker 1: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on

1111
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.