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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy, this COVID nineteen edition.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Yes that Kevin Pollock's. Well,

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Speaker 1: as the saying goes, if the catfish are jumping, Joey

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Speaker 1: soon starts humping. But I digress mean, I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to shower you no particular orders. Say hey to James

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Speaker 1: Cheeny Jingle, James Alborghini. Tell us why you're certain there's

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Speaker 1: a Santa. Well, there's a few reasons why I'm certain

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Speaker 1: there's a Santa. Uh. Listed in in the address book

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Speaker 1: is a Christopher Kringle, and everyone knows that Christopher Kringle

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Speaker 1: is Santa. Santa is like Batman. There's a lot of

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Speaker 1: people that can wear Batman's outfit. Christopher Kringle is the

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Speaker 1: most common one to wear the Santa outfit. But Santa

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Speaker 1: is an idea and you can't deny it. Perfect Now,

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Speaker 1: please welcome back Jackie d Ruthie or is the indigenous

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Speaker 1: people called they're sits near hangars name at least two

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Speaker 1: reindeer games. Yes, hop Scotch, but it's obviously with four

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Speaker 1: hoofs instead of two feet, so it's a little trick here.

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Speaker 1: And also, uh, blitzen aply a version of monopoly, but

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Speaker 1: but still uses this action. Oh yeah, they still roll

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Speaker 1: those dice. Yeah. And now here's Craig Kokowski sitting in

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Speaker 1: for Wolf Blitzer Kaw. Thanks Kevin Wolf is on vacation

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Speaker 1: this week. Let's go directly to the streets of Los

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Speaker 1: Angeles where people are writing in favor of alchemy this. Hey,

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Speaker 1: there's Chris Alvarado. Can't keep a good Chris down. While

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Speaker 1: still attending school, did you ever develop a crush on

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Speaker 1: a teacher? No, No, because I think it was a

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Speaker 1: bit of a late bloomer. But I did have an

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Speaker 1: English teacher that would let us all kiss her on

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Speaker 1: the cheek after class and all Jesus, what was his name?

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Speaker 1: It was Ms Flores. He just docks her. Dude, I know, well,

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Speaker 1: there's a Miss Flora's and we'd all like line up

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Speaker 1: and kiss her on the cheek. Goodbye. This information needs

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Speaker 1: to get out there. Good Lord, the time to bust

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Speaker 1: Miss Flora's. And last, but no more, Captain Crunch. If

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Speaker 1: you think of it's Joey Greer, Candy Cane LaRue. When

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Speaker 1: you're gonna great question, and I want to answer that

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Speaker 1: in several parts. If I can break those parts down

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Speaker 1: and actually create more parts from those parts, I think right,

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Speaker 1: uh two, Well which section that's the question? So second

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Speaker 1: eight okay, great, yeah, totally. So not only are we

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Speaker 1: going to be able to use liquid inside the cooling system,

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Speaker 1: but we're also gonna be able to drink that same liquid.

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Speaker 1: So that's the benefit of the machine itself. Now, once

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Speaker 1: the liquid is completely circulated the entire device, we're gonna

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Speaker 1: have an opportunity to take a step back and we

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Speaker 1: want to steam it up or we want to let

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Speaker 1: a cool down, like cool cool Because I know what

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Speaker 1: you're thinking. It's it's part of the cooling system. But

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Speaker 1: it's gonna get hot, okay, because it's obviously cooling something

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Speaker 1: that's really hot. So the water is gonna get hot, people,

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Speaker 1: That's just how it works. But when it pumps out

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Speaker 1: through the fueling system, there's another pump over there, the fuelings.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna mix with a little bit of gasoline. I

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Speaker 1: haven't got that part of So yeah, I did say earlier,

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Speaker 1: you can drink it, but it's not a little bit

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Speaker 1: of gasoline ain't bad, you know what I mean? You

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Speaker 1: huff it? Who doesn't huff gas I've drinking gasoline before.

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Speaker 1: It's not a problem. It's a liquid. If a liquid

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Speaker 1: is bad to drink, then don't make it a liquid.

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Speaker 1: That's my whole thing. And that's so God. What the hell? Right? If?

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Speaker 1: Why all this sweet liquid everywhere? But apparently a ocean

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Speaker 1: I can't drink and I'll go crazy if I drink?

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Speaker 1: What was What was the question, Kevin? I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: relate it back to the question in my heart. All right,

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Speaker 1: let's do it, damn show all of our scene suggestions

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Speaker 1: to gather from your listener emails or from our patron

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Speaker 1: v I p s. What's that? Yes, you can become

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Speaker 1: a patron supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content

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Speaker 1: another perks, for example video of what's happening right now?

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Speaker 1: Just head on over to patreon dot com slash alchemy this.

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Speaker 1: If you'd like to submit a scene suggested by your email,

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Speaker 1: please write to the podcast at your name here at

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Speaker 1: alchemy this dot com. That's your name here. Seen one

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Speaker 1: comes from listener Mike, who wrote, Hey, all you find

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Speaker 1: sexy people? Remember me? I had the scene suggestion of

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Speaker 1: the man thinking he was having a heart attack, But

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Speaker 1: isn't based on my own life experiences. I believe it

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Speaker 1: was the first time ever in Kevin's life of him

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Speaker 1: saying the long dragged out anyway, proved me wrong, Folks,

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Speaker 1: proved me wrong. I'm fine now, by the way, my

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Speaker 1: blood pressure is top not that I'm back to eating

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Speaker 1: bond bonds every morning. Anyway. My scene suggestion goes like this,

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Speaker 1: A walk in the park leads to a scene right

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Speaker 1: out of Hitchcock's The Birds. All my love, especially to

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Speaker 1: Joey Mike from Bisbee, Arizona. Why were you late? I said,

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Speaker 1: meet me in the park at twelve. It's twelve six. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: it's just as I've gotten older, it's hard for me

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Speaker 1: to keep up and get everywhere right. But I'm glad

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Speaker 1: you saved me a spot on the bench. It's just

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Speaker 1: really nice. But you see it as a disrespect to me, right, Oh,

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Speaker 1: I didn't mean it to be like that. I care

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Speaker 1: a great deal about you. I just I always think

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Speaker 1: that I'm faster than these feet really do carry me.

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Speaker 1: It's just the people who run late as a habit. Oh,

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Speaker 1: that's just them. That doesn't work for me. Oh it's

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Speaker 1: my age. I'm not trying to make a good impression.

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Speaker 1: Who who was that? Did you say that? Exactly? Sure?

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Speaker 1: Are you still here? I gotta I've gotta find out

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Speaker 1: what that was you used to hot? Oh ship? Get yeah?

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Speaker 1: Give me two? All right? Everything on it? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: everything onions, tomatos, peanut butter, nyonnaise, hat, care you go? Thanks?

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Speaker 1: Should I need a second one? God? Damnit? Did you

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Speaker 1: see that guy? Yes? Everything onion, olive Peter Man. So

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Speaker 1: you're just sitting on the bench. You're by yourself or oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, this seat's taken. Actually, uh but well my son,

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Speaker 1: my son was here just a hinted ago. But I

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Speaker 1: mean there's a bench right right over there, you old man.

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Speaker 1: What there's a solar flare that happened and then made

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Speaker 1: all these electronic scooter sentient. I don't lose electronic. I

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Speaker 1: think I'm crazy, but I got facts. I got them backed.

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Speaker 1: I got bon bones all over my chest, seeping in

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Speaker 1: my body. Give him. You don't have to show me that.

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Speaker 1: Keep your jacket out, sure, keep your bonds. They tell

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Speaker 1: me see secret. Now I'm absolutely certain. Hey, hey, hey,

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Speaker 1: here are you chasing me? You seem to like you

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Speaker 1: were trying to communicate something when you went past. You

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Speaker 1: have a hat on your ship. Is it a gone?

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Speaker 1: Is it gone? Yeah? Okay? Thanks? Thanks? Oh? Can I

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Speaker 1: get you one? Hey? Yeah? No, no, I'm running away

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Speaker 1: from something. Man, I'm running away from something. What what? What?

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Speaker 1: What is it? It's done to your business? You can

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Speaker 1: talk to me. How much the FAF eight dollars for

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Speaker 1: two pieces? All right? Give me three? Okay? Oh man,

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Speaker 1: I'm having a hard it's twelve. How you just sitting

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Speaker 1: here on the bench by yourself? Well, I'm at the moment.

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Speaker 1: I'm by myself for my shot. Will be back any minute.

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Speaker 1: We have a standing date every Monday. We always get

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Speaker 1: together here and we feed the birds. But you could

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Speaker 1: sit with that man across over there. It has the

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Speaker 1: bun buns in his chest. There's a lot of are

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Speaker 1: you trying to tell? Did your son pass? No? My son?

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Speaker 1: My son ran after another man that was running, and

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Speaker 1: we're going to feed the birds here in a minute.

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Speaker 1: Excuse me? Did you just say you couldn't feed the birds?

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Speaker 1: And just a minute? Well, I don't want to waste

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Speaker 1: the seed that I've brought. I've got this bag here,

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Speaker 1: but I'm going to give this to the birds when

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Speaker 1: my son gets bad. It's kind of my thing didn't

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Speaker 1: eat the birds here in this park, birds covered in birds,

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Speaker 1: is covered in birds. It's what I do. And I

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Speaker 1: mean some of those birds was dead and staple. But

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Speaker 1: bus it ain't good. Well, what's happening? Kid? Backfired, the

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Speaker 1: whole the whole project. Everything, it's it's it's it's gone nuts.

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Speaker 1: What are you saying? You say the electronic scooters have

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Speaker 1: experienced the singularity. That's that's what I'm saying. We lost Tommy.

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Speaker 1: Tommy's gone. He's gone. He's fucking gone. I saw him

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Speaker 1: right before my fucking eyes. Those birds sucking red him

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Speaker 1: over it. I know it. I made those scooters too smart.

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Speaker 1: They've become sentience. Look, we don't have much time. I

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Speaker 1: think they know. Good news, you guys. Big sale, big

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Speaker 1: sale on the birds. Oh my gosh, I got an

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Speaker 1: order for twenty thou scooters to put in Austin, Texas.

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Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no, no, Kyle, look at me,

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Speaker 1: look at me. Get backfired. Everything's gone terribly wrong, terribly wrong,

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Speaker 1: terribly wrong. Because I'm gonna get a raise, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: meet my bonus. Get Yeah. Maybe here's is jealous of

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Speaker 1: Kyle for making a big shdience listen to me to fire.

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Speaker 1: If you just hit me, Hell, we have to at

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Speaker 1: least report you hr for that. We're fucked. I mean Austin, right,

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Speaker 1: I mean they fit right in. Alright, so you hit somebody?

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Speaker 1: Is that what happened? I don't We don't have time

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Speaker 1: for this. We don't have time. That the birds are

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Speaker 1: coming after us. They've turned sentience. Do you know what

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Speaker 1: that means? I know what sense means, and I know

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Speaker 1: what a tent is. Does that help you? Does it

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Speaker 1: help you to understand the gravity of the situation? Oh? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're looking our latest model there, that's the sense tent

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Speaker 1: and just step on in. Okay, yeah, and feel something special. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you get a sense of something special. You're not actually

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Speaker 1: feeling anything. That's the beauty because for me to feel again,

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Speaker 1: let's try, let's try the sense of smell. Give that

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Speaker 1: a shot. Okay, I will something I haven't been able

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Speaker 1: to enjoy ever since my fifth husband passed. Can you

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Speaker 1: imagine five husband's all passing? What makes me inappropriate? Sometimes?

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Speaker 1: What the last one passed from that one was a

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Speaker 1: bit of a mystery. Honestly, they all were a bit

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Speaker 1: of a mystery in it. And if you were to

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Speaker 1: ask me in an official capacity, I couldn't tell you.

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Speaker 1: But if you were to ask me on the keys

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Speaker 1: are interrupted, Henry, gonna thought you for a second. Excuse me,

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Speaker 1: I'll be in the tent. Yeah, I get a good sense.

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Speaker 1: I think she might be the one in what regard

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Speaker 1: for you, man, I think you should lock that down. Look,

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Speaker 1: I normally don't do this, but you know that wedding

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Speaker 1: ring always keeping on me. Well here you go, don't

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Speaker 1: you take this? Why don't you go ask her right there?

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Speaker 1: That's my grandmother, by the way, that those are real diamonds.

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Speaker 1: That's a did you hear her say her last five

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Speaker 1: husbands seriously died? Oh so she's single? Yeah? Do it on? Yeah? Yeah, no.

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Speaker 1: Just when she said that, you came along and said

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Speaker 1: you want to interrupt, we got we got a live

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Speaker 1: one one of those tents. And if you guys aren't

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Speaker 1: into it, I'm gonna go swoop over that with your

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Speaker 1: saying yeah, hanks about going there and get it, get it,

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Speaker 1: get over it. Do you know what that? Well, I'm

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Speaker 1: getting a different sense, So give it a shot. A hanker, Henry,

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Speaker 1: because I don't know if I said both or not,

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Speaker 1: and I just want to Danny. Can I can I

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Speaker 1: white a school to Danny? Do you have an app

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Speaker 1: on your PHONEC white the scooter? I got a nap,

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Speaker 1: all right, let me take a look. They're supposed to

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Speaker 1: be eighteen, Danny. Please, I'm George. Let him ride the

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Speaker 1: damn scooter where you? Please? Thank you? Monica, you know what,

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Speaker 1: He's gonna get hurt and you're gonna have to sit

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Speaker 1: in the e r with him. Okay, please used to

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Speaker 1: wear a helmet? Okay, no your jamas. Just open the

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Speaker 1: app and get him the skinn Monica, you're way putty.

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Speaker 1: You're way putty it than my mommy. You have no

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Speaker 1: ship hunt here's like hell yeah, all right here? And

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Speaker 1: I think you have to add my phone with the

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Speaker 1: other way too far away. It might turn off here

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Speaker 1: ty dollars, kid, get your get your father a better disposition. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, give me the phone. Okayoo boo boo boo

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Speaker 1: boo boo. Book the kid just run on the freeway.

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Speaker 1: Are you trying to tell me that you don't have

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Speaker 1: my ring anymore? Shamus gave it to you to clean it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's all his bird shit on it. And I had

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Speaker 1: to take it in and get it cleaned up, and

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Speaker 1: so it should be clean by now that you know. Look,

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Speaker 1: I thought you were gonna pass by the time this

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Speaker 1: was gonna gonna come to a head. I didn't really

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Speaker 1: think that I was gonna have kind of have a

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Speaker 1: reckoning with you, you know, just what a Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: my own grandmother gave me what sort of ring you're

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Speaker 1: looking for, sir? Uh? Something old timy, something like came

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Speaker 1: from the old world. Yeah, okay, something that says like

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Speaker 1: I was escaping atrocities, so I came to America for

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Speaker 1: a whole new world in life. And ok, okay, some

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Speaker 1: melted gold and then re s some some of the

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Speaker 1: a lot of diamonds are Oh my god, look at that, kids,

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Speaker 1: you say, I didn't realize that. Look. I think I

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Speaker 1: was chasing them these nuts out there anyway. Alright, Uh,

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Speaker 1: what size ring? Are you looking for? Two pinkies together?

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Speaker 1: I guess I don't know which size that is, but

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Speaker 1: if you pressured pinkies together? Did think? Did that kid

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Speaker 1: look happy? Because he was on a bird doing about

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Speaker 1: fifty but he looked happy. Right, I think there was

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Speaker 1: a wind. That kid looked happy. It's called for lafle. Wow,

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Speaker 1: look at that kid happy. Right. Sorry, I'm gonna need

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Speaker 1: to check your food distribution permits for both of you.

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Speaker 1: I am my FDP right here, all right? That was fast, ma'am.

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Speaker 1: I mean I'm a vendor. You have to have an FDP.

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Speaker 1: That scene one that is seen one. Oh my, that

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Speaker 1: kid was going fast. Two comes from patron Alcamaniac Hayley.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Haley, Love you, Haley. We She wrote seene suggestion.

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Speaker 1: A neighborhood is famous for their holiday light displays, but

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Speaker 1: a new family, maybe they're in a cult. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: moves in. It doesn't have to participate, h o. A

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Speaker 1: meetings are called an insanity ensues or another suggestion. I

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Speaker 1: was obsessed with voting when I was a kid, and

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Speaker 1: would constantly write the President's letters demanding they meet with

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Speaker 1: me to see if they would let me vote. So

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Speaker 1: my suggestion as a conference where the president gets to

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Speaker 1: choose what kid gets to vote. She then forwarded me.

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Speaker 1: As I followed up with her, she forwarded me a

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Speaker 1: letter she wrote to President Bush. It goes as follows,

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Speaker 1: Dear George Bush, not Dear President Bush. Dear George Bush,

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Speaker 1: I would like to know if you, me and some

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Speaker 1: other kids from around the United States could all the

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Speaker 1: conference in El Paso, Texas, and you could ask the

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Speaker 1: kids questions. You could decide which one of the kids

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Speaker 1: could vote. Some of us are interested in voting because

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Speaker 1: we care about the future of our country. This is

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Speaker 1: our homeland. Everybody has feelings. Sincerely, Haley Bonds, age eight,

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Speaker 1: grade three. PS. Please try to do this. Amen. Wow,

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Speaker 1: everyone does that. Feelings is awesome. H Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: this is Oh my god. I love coming on Maple Street.

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Speaker 1: Look at this. All the houses are just lit up.

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Speaker 1: This is gorgeous. Just oh my god. I feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm like I'm a riot carry music video or something

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Speaker 1: that all Christmas lights all that. This is so insane.

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Speaker 1: Get a photo of me over here. Get a photo

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Speaker 1: of me over here. Alright, alright, hold on, get you

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Speaker 1: a little closer, getting next to the center. They're always

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Speaker 1: on your phone. I phone for the picture, texting or

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Speaker 1: on Instagram or something. I was texting. But now look

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Speaker 1: at this photo here, Oh my god, take this picture. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: will take this one, but the same do what what

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Speaker 1: are you doing in your phone? Take this picture? I

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Speaker 1: Am going to take the picture. You just gotta stay still.

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Speaker 1: You keep take me over here, take this phote over here,

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Speaker 1: look at this photo. Let me just turn around, and

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Speaker 1: then when I turn around, take the photo. You know what,

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Speaker 1: you don't make photo shoots enjoyable, Carol, You make put

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Speaker 1: photo shoots unenjoyable. I can't even experience look at all

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Speaker 1: this around is this is beautiful. I'm not experiencing any

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Speaker 1: of it because I keep getting shuffled around for pictures. Um.

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Speaker 1: Mr President, Um, you're three o'clock canceled, and your next

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Speaker 1: meeting is with those third graders at four o'clock, so

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Speaker 1: you have a free hour. Is there anything you'd like

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Speaker 1: to catch up? I mean I wouldn't mind getting high, okay? Uh?

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Speaker 1: And choice of some weight, just some weight. Well, unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: because it's been legalized in so many areas, there are

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Speaker 1: now three two strands of weight. So if you could

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Speaker 1: be a little more specific, the third one third number three,

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Speaker 1: you'd like it. And then I was thinking, like, you

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Speaker 1: know what if like all like you could like eat

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Speaker 1: your hold on a circuit. Oh ship, Oh dude, I

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Speaker 1: got I gotta drop off some weed to the press.

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Speaker 1: Oh ship, drop off some bud to the commander, and

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Speaker 1: we have to go. You said, take blood, take our

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Speaker 1: bodies as take on. I don't know, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually like I have to go through like a

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Speaker 1: really stringent like background check and all that. Hey, Bob,

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Speaker 1: you've been my secret service for how long though? What

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Speaker 1: is it? Three years? Exactly? Two years and nine months,

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Speaker 1: Mr President? Two years now months? You never you never relax? Well,

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Speaker 1: I relaxed my own way. When my shift is over,

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Speaker 1: Mr President. Look, I'm gonna invite you to smoke with

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Speaker 1: me this afternoon. I really can. I have to have

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Speaker 1: full control of my faculties. I think. I'm sorry. Who's

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Speaker 1: the boss you are? Sir? Thank you, thank you. So

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Speaker 1: I order you to get high with me. Okay? Are

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Speaker 1: we are smoking or doing animals? You know we're gonna

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Speaker 1: smoke old school style joint Okay, like a reefer cigarette. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like I'll be for a cigarette. Yeah yeah. I don't

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Speaker 1: know much about this number three strand, but I know

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Speaker 1: I want you and I to connect on a different level.

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Speaker 1: I just said there is a credible assassination attempt that

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Speaker 1: we are we're trying to prevent today. But Bob sucking

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Speaker 1: be honest with you. In some ways, they'd be doing

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Speaker 1: me a favor. I gotta meet with some I gotta

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Speaker 1: meet with some kids. Fuck, I love number three. Oh

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Speaker 1: sh at, what's that strain? Okay? Oh, I know we

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Speaker 1: can do here, can right there? Give me some of that,

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Speaker 1: but this is his But you can't do that. We

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Speaker 1: are you talking about? Manager? You coming to this is

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Speaker 1: my apartment. You come in here all the time. You

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Speaker 1: spoke my ship. You brought a little dimeter three. I

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Speaker 1: give out your address as my own as I'm currently

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Speaker 1: in between places and have been for the past seven months.

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Speaker 1: This is nuts. That's gonna do you understand they do

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Speaker 1: background checks on me all the time because I give

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Speaker 1: dope to the press. Now give me some of that

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Speaker 1: Carole Baskin, and let's go drop it off to the press.

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Speaker 1: Right yeah, let's go drop out, he said, let's due.

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Speaker 1: Let's right right on the end. How did their neighbors?

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Speaker 1: I see you guys are doing a photo shoot here

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Speaker 1: on my lawn. Uh listen, well, we love them. People

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Speaker 1: visit Maple Street. As you can tell, we have a

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Speaker 1: lot of pride in our street and all these decorations.

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Speaker 1: The problem is, YOUTO seem to be arguing loudly and

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Speaker 1: it's kind of dampening the joy. Well, I'm gonna tell

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Speaker 1: you this. The milk dudge are telling me right now.

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Speaker 1: All the bond bonds are telling me the future. I

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Speaker 1: know the secrets you're saying to me there, telling me

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Speaker 1: to live, not even with us. Carol and I are

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Speaker 1: just taking photos. Uh. And honestly, I was just speaking

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Speaker 1: to the window and I saw you were on your

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Speaker 1: phone and not really taking he was. He never connects

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Speaker 1: with me. It's just like I'm taking photos with my

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Speaker 1: fucking phone. Okay. There was no cussing on Maple Street. Oh, Sharon,

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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I was just in my house looking

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Speaker 1: through my window seeing you, by the way, but not

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Speaker 1: speak on all of our behalves. That would be great.

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Speaker 1: I just thought at the last meeting we discussed we

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Speaker 1: wanted more joy on the street. Some people did discuss that. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I can't say that I seconded that notion because I

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Speaker 1: absolutely did not. Um. I believe in being an autonomous

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Speaker 1: person on this block. This is Bev by the way,

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Speaker 1: president husband's president of Viacom. You might have heard of it.

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Speaker 1: She'll let you know in a couple of seconds and

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Speaker 1: three two. If you've never heard of Viacom my husband,

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Speaker 1: fucking president. That's why I don't need to decorate my house. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this block might be really festive. My house not so much. Oh,

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Speaker 1: thanks for seeing us today. Um. First of all, uh,

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Speaker 1: congrats again on CBS being the Tiffany Network, even if

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Speaker 1: you're audience share has has dropped considerably over the years. Um.

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Speaker 1: So today we're just going to pitch you a new

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Speaker 1: show for my husband. So if you can just like

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Speaker 1: explain that to me, you know what I mean? Like,

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Speaker 1: what's just as if I'm a child. Okay, sure, So

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Speaker 1: we're going to pitch you a new idea for a

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Speaker 1: new television show. This is one in particular, is a

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Speaker 1: reimagine a child, sir, So we want to add some

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Speaker 1: Google guy guys and maybe some flower lingers. I'm a

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Speaker 1: tiny little child. A difference between child baby? Is it

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00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,719
Speaker 1: a child or a baby? It sounds like infant Now

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Speaker 1: I was thinking child sex seven year old? But that's

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Speaker 1: what I thought. Why don't you stop assuming in picture

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Speaker 1: project tim? Is it? Hey? Bob, you know the only

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00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 1: difference between you and me is this pin if you

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Speaker 1: think about it, Yes, yes, yes, Mr President, you're you're

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Speaker 1: You're right you're right. This office is an oval. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I've been in this office so many times, but I've

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00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 1: never actually seen that it's an oval. Like what are ovals?

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00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:43,440
Speaker 1: What are shapes? Okay? I see, I see a shape.

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Speaker 1: You see this tiny square, but that's blue. If you

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00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 1: press that and talk into it, you can ask for

390
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 1: anything and they'll just bring it right to you. Oh God,

391
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: I want like Twinningham sandwiches deservant ju too. Alright, kids,

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Speaker 1: this it is a pretty important opportunity. No one's going

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Speaker 1: to be expecting you to kill the president. We can right.

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Speaker 1: What the hell are you doing? What are you talking about?

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00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 1: What are you doing? Man normally interruptions to tell us

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00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 1: how to kill the president? It's the revolution, a real mean?

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Speaker 1: Or do we punch him? How does it happen? Know

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Speaker 1: all I need you to do. Which one of you

399
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Speaker 1: is the best at aiming? Here? I can't aim. Don't

400
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 1: pick me. I only got one gun, okay, So I'm

401
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Speaker 1: gonna leave it right here in the center of the room.

402
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 1: The quickest I'm gonna pick it up. But what I

403
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 1: don't understand is how can you anticipate a gun shot? Like?

404
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: What bullets are so fast? And then like you. It's trade.

405
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,159
Speaker 1: I guess I don't know you see it coming? What?

406
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 1: I have never heard steely dad like this. I've never

407
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 1: liked them, but now I do because there is actually

408
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 1: them the office. Yes, that's right, this is their middle

409
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,479
Speaker 1: of freedom. So I think this is an an alarm

410
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Speaker 1: of some sorts. Hello, No, I don't know what these

411
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Speaker 1: kids are like going off with this. Don huh high

412
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Speaker 1: you guys. You're supposed to smoke after we make the drop,

413
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 1: not before. I've been smoking, like consistently for my sixty

414
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 1: years to go to the White House. Right, just drop

415
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 1: us off of the White House. We already sent a

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00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,880
Speaker 1: letter to the Secret Service telling them we were coming.

417
00:26:55,920 --> 00:27:02,640
Speaker 1: Hopefully they're taking it seriously. Take the kids with guns, Okay, Beth,

418
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:04,880
Speaker 1: I guess we could just cancel Christmas if that would

419
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 1: make you happier. Is that what you want? That? That's

420
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 1: not what I want. I don't feel it feels like

421
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 1: this is the h O and I will not have

422
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 1: this kind of fighting happening in all hallowed halls. So heavenly,

423
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 1: I think you're talking about your husband. He's president, very important.

424
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 1: I actually had to sit in for him. It was

425
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 1: very difficult. You know. I want to mention and you

426
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,400
Speaker 1: can write this down if you want. Secretary, Um, we've

427
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:45,880
Speaker 1: never actually seen your husband. Just say that, you could

428
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,280
Speaker 1: you all just slow down a little, said, write it down.

429
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 1: So I'm trying to write it down so you see

430
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 1: your husband and then you just start laughing. Yeah, she

431
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,160
Speaker 1: said he exists, which means that he probably doesn't exist,

432
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,160
Speaker 1: because who would say that. Don't write that part down though,

433
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,679
Speaker 1: don't write that down, I don't think so. Okay, right

434
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 1: down whatever you think is nest right down at all, Bob,

435
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 1: give me just take your shirt off and then you

436
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 1: can feel the presidential air if you think about it. Okay, okay, yes,

437
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 1: yes I can. I think I should get don't you

438
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:22,399
Speaker 1: don't get it. Don't get it? You get okay, okay, okay, Hi,

439
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: we're here to see the president. Who what? Who is?

440
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 1: There's a bunch of kids. It's that time. It's that time. Yeah? No.

441
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:36,879
Speaker 1: Should I tell Steely Dan to stop playing where? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, okay,

442
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: don walt give it a rest, Okay, okay, okay, five,

443
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 1: let's do it. Hey, kids, welcome to the office. Eat

444
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 1: hot Land. This feels incredible. I feel the bullet going

445
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 1: through every part of me. You're dying. It's a matter

446
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 1: to take the hint for you, Mr President, in both

447
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 1: senses of the work. Oh I'm crying and laughing at

448
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 1: the state. Wait wait, wait, this guy just got shot.

449
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 1: We can help him. It's medicinal. Just throw it in

450
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 1: the room. Put this in the hole, put this whole

451
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 1: on fire. Smoke from the back end of it. Don't

452
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 1: let the kids go though they're in trouble. You guys

453
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 1: stay here. We should we get out of I can't

454
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 1: be around kids like that. Man, I'm here on your

455
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 1: lap and find out if I'm naughty or night what?

456
00:29:52,920 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 1: No resident, the buzz is wearing off? What the funk

457
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 1: am I doing? Oh ship, oh god, before he gets

458
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 1: like his wits about him, it'll call the wound. Somebody

459
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 1: put a gummy in my bullet wound. Get that. Gummies

460
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 1: are better. You don't even have to light that on fire.

461
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 1: Let's just that should be good. Let's not about lights lights,

462
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: And that was put a gummy in my bullet wound.

463
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 1: I'm taking that new song from Kids Are Crazy coming

464
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: up in the next hour. Wolf Plittzer is going to

465
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 1: spend some wax for you. He's left Seeingana's joined the

466
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 1: station here, but right now we're gonna take an easy

467
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 1: break to hear more about the furniture. So at Stevens okay,

468
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 1: and we're live now. Good practice, but we're living now

469
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 1: and we're live now. Hey, hey, groovy cats and gals. Uh,

470
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 1: this Carl coming here in the overnight, taking some calls

471
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna be spinning some records, including the new

472
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: hit and it's all the rage apparently put a gummy

473
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 1: in my billet hole. Right now that we're gonna take

474
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 1: a quick break as a reminder, our sponsors today is

475
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 1: Steven's Furniture. You will give me furniture in your house?

476
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 1: How much? My name is Stephen, and I got furniture

477
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 1: out of my ask. Let me tell you that, just

478
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 1: just straight up to it. Yeah. I guess some commercials

479
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 1: don't curse, but this commercial, yeah we cursed. We curse

480
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 1: out of our fucking ask. What kind of a book

481
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 1: show do you want? You want one that you can

482
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 1: stick out of a whole bunch of chup? Okay, So

483
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 1: that's a great that's a great practice. Hey bev. I

484
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 1: just I wanted to say, Mary Christmas. I know today's

485
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 1: the actual day, and wow, I mean to come to

486
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 1: my house. And I did have to take a break

487
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: from being with my husband on this day that lovers

488
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 1: spent together, and I've also been taking a break. I

489
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:08,239
Speaker 1: don't know if you've seen, but Mr Belvedere hasn't been

490
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 1: around it. Lad, I've actually never seen Mr Belvedere. But

491
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 1: I wasn't questioning whether he doesn't exist. He doesn't exist.

492
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 1: I'm all alone on this Christmas Day. I mean, sure

493
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 1: I have my lights, and sure that couple is still

494
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: arguing on my front lawn. But you can come and

495
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 1: spend it with me in the president of Viacom, but

496
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 1: you will have to take a blood oath and forever

497
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: call me Mastros and him never mind, never mind. It's

498
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 1: really really special and you're going to really get a

499
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 1: lot out of it. You're gonna become a better person,

500
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,360
Speaker 1: aren't they? Why should you have for life? Aren't there

501
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 1: some trying to extend in all of branch and I'm

502
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 1: extending one as well. I'm lights. Um, Hey, did you

503
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 1: see the news voice and she really went down at

504
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 1: the White else yesterday? Huh? Kids at each other like that?

505
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 1: If you kids are feeling unsure about that and don't

506
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 1: really understand how to carry on. Feel free to come

507
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 1: into my house and take a blood oath and call

508
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: me mastress, and the president called my husband Mastros. For

509
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,520
Speaker 1: the rest of your lives, it will only be five

510
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 1: hundred dollars to start. We're good. Tell me that is crazy.

511
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 1: And when I just never came home, it was that simple.

512
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 1: Can I have another martini? Please? Thank you? It's under

513
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 1: a belvedere, yes, but I just sir, the jet is

514
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 1: running out of fuel, and you're telling us that we

515
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:42,239
Speaker 1: can't land, but we also can't stay up in the air.

516
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 1: So you've got to make a choice right now. Well,

517
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 1: why don't we think about it? They's been thinking about

518
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 1: it the y Okay, we're gonna die. Okay, we're gonna die.

519
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 1: Hold on, if we don't have any fuel, I know

520
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 1: exactly what to do. I know exactly what to do.

521
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:58,680
Speaker 1: Just open the door right here, let me go check

522
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 1: the fuel. I'll just Even though we watched a man

523
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:08,800
Speaker 1: die just a mirror a few days ago, I'm still

524
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 1: feeling like we're having a very merry Christmas. One of

525
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: my best Christmas is ever. Like it's actually ended up

526
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:25,239
Speaker 1: pink pretty solid. Yeah, yeah, this is actually legit. Night.

527
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 1: I didn't want to do this until next year. But

528
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:31,439
Speaker 1: I did get you Christmas presents. You where you get?

529
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 1: So I got one? Oh wait a second, was that tooth?

530
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 1: Did you guys just here tooth trash ship? I'm so asleep,

531
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:49,920
Speaker 1: totally fell asleep. I had a pop tart and then

532
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,800
Speaker 1: it just knocked me out. The pop tart wasn't a

533
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: pop tart, dude, that was of weed. I put it

534
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:05,840
Speaker 1: in the toaster. Bob. Yeah, no, unless referring to my

535
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 1: Secret Service. Yes, yes, Mr President, Um, I to see

536
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 1: you're recovering. Well, what are all these machines you have

537
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 1: me hooked up to? You died? I thought I did.

538
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,320
Speaker 1: I thought that was Candon. But you know I'm the president.

539
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 1: You know I can make wishes come true. I don't

540
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 1: want to I don't want to live like this. Bring

541
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 1: in candy cane body, yes, please, you represent. Yes, you

542
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 1: are going to be the symbol of Christmas for all

543
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: of America. No, I don't what that first ever live

544
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:47,879
Speaker 1: candy cane man, Just your head a top of candy cane.

545
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 1: I died in the light of fire. That's what every

546
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 1: Secret Service agent was, your President. I don't know if

547
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:53,640
Speaker 1: the candy cane body is gonna be able to support

548
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,719
Speaker 1: the weight of his head. I don't give a ship

549
00:35:55,880 --> 00:36:00,759
Speaker 1: what you think do want now, Bob? Nobody knows about

550
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 1: the shooting. You raised it. Everyone including your family is

551
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:13,399
Speaker 1: gonna think this is your choice. Still do this, sir? Well, Bob,

552
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,879
Speaker 1: you're gonna have any of your steak or not? Oh

553
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,800
Speaker 1: that's right, you can't. I just meet anymore because you

554
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:27,880
Speaker 1: wanted Candy Keen. Yeah, you know. Why the hell do

555
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: I even try anymore? If this is what it's gonna

556
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 1: be like. Look, I want to try to make love

557
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 1: again tonight. No, no, no, it's gonna get We can

558
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 1: find away, try and then you start dissolving inside. There

559
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 1: is no more to be said after you do me.

560
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:09,600
Speaker 1: Oh fuck it, Tar same three some will who wrote

561
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 1: Hello again Alchemist. This is my second super freaking late

562
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 1: night email in a wrong But what's time these days? Anyway?

563
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 1: I have to play the b day card keV keV.

564
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: I share the same birthday with my two best friends,

565
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 1: Sam and Liam. They're almost fans of the show coming up,

566
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 1: just shy on that fandom. I bombard them constantly with

567
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 1: the best episodes of the show. But it turns out

568
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:44,400
Speaker 1: you actually have to pay attention to something to fully

569
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 1: fucking appreciate it. But I die, Gruce. My scene is

570
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:55,320
Speaker 1: this triple birthday plans on the one night of September.

571
00:37:55,640 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 1: Order up, will Okay, remember when he gets there, just

572
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:05,839
Speaker 1: act surprised. Okay, I know he knows this surprise party. Wait,

573
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 1: I don't think it's going to be that big of

574
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:14,280
Speaker 1: a surprise. He knows there's a surprise. I'm saying, he's

575
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 1: not gonna act surprise. So if we do, we're surprised

576
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 1: he came home kind of thing at all. Oh yeah,

577
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 1: there's four bottles in the drunk so just will act surprised, right,

578
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 1: I mean there's only four of us, first of all. Yeah,

579
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 1: so bottle each, right, and we have our own bottle. Jesus,

580
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 1: we're gonna drink from the bottle. Yeah, like we can't

581
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 1: find good health these days. So yeah, my I'm just

582
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 1: gonna be honest with you. I'm married, but my wife

583
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 1: is out of town. If maybe you wanted to come

584
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 1: back to my place and finish this conversation, Wow, that's

585
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 1: super hot. I'm just saying, I'm I you know, I

586
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,840
Speaker 1: already told him a business man. I was already interested

587
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,440
Speaker 1: in you just based on your your looks and your

588
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 1: side up. And now that I know you're cheating on

589
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 1: your wife with me, yeah I know, I know, and

590
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:18,279
Speaker 1: and I wasn't lying. Today is my birthday. Happy birthday. Now,

591
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 1: that's not just a line that you It's not. It's not.

592
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 1: It's not. You can see my idea December twenty one.

593
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:27,759
Speaker 1: That's crazy. It's I just heard you guys talking to

594
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 1: the bar. It's my birthday, do That's why I'm here

595
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 1: celebrating myself. You know, you got You're the one that

596
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 1: has to blow, right, you have that. I heard you blow,

597
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 1: But I have. I don't think I should do anymore.

598
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:44,320
Speaker 1: But it's my birthday. Look at my I d You know.

599
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 1: This is weird and I don't know why I didn't

600
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:49,320
Speaker 1: bring it up before. But it's also my birthday. What no,

601
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 1: I like? I went out to celebrate, maybe hope to

602
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 1: pick somebody up. You know, it's a birthday tradition that

603
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 1: I have. I'm sorry you say your birthday September twenty

604
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 1: Oh god, that's my birthday. Hey listen, this is a

605
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 1: crazy idea. That was a close one. Yeah, obviously I

606
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:15,239
Speaker 1: would invited you back to my house. But I don't

607
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 1: see why we can't make this a real party. But

608
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 1: you want to celebrate your birthday with us? I mean,

609
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,720
Speaker 1: I love too. I just got trash cheered by myself.

610
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,840
Speaker 1: I was pretty depressed. But wow, yeah, I'd love to

611
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,280
Speaker 1: come back with you. Guys. You gonna have a threesome

612
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,360
Speaker 1: with this guy. I don't know if it's gonna be

613
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:36,839
Speaker 1: a threesome. I thought maybe we could use him first cocaine. Okay, okay, okay, yes, yes,

614
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:51,720
Speaker 1: Oh god, Hi Larry, what the hell is happening? Okay?

615
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 1: That much? Blow? Okay, okay, okay. I said your wife

616
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 1: was out of town. I thought she was baby. I

617
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 1: thought you were out of town. Oh yeah, I'm so

618
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 1: out of town it's absurd. Okay, you want an explanation,

619
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 1: I'm sure, yes, easy. These are my birthday triplets, twins.

620
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 1: There's three of us. We all have the same birthday,

621
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 1: and we can pull your I d's honestly pull your

622
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 1: ideas right now. This is my idea to your pains. Okay,

623
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,920
Speaker 1: how is that your I D. I'm older than I look. Okay,

624
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 1: Oh that's sign. So I thought you were out of town, darling,

625
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 1: and I didn't want to celebrate alone, and I figured,

626
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 1: oh that's wonderful. You know what, we don't have enough champagne.

627
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 1: And I don't know what to do with your two birthday.

628
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 1: I know you're in there. I'm tracking your fucking phone.

629
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:54,440
Speaker 1: Oh god, oh god, who is who walking in there?

630
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:57,799
Speaker 1: Bodka sucking cars in there? But I bet you're trying

631
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 1: to get a three way, aren't you? It's my it's

632
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:03,360
Speaker 1: my ex. He's crazy. He goes particularly crazy when I

633
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 1: have a three way with two random guys, which all

634
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 1: the time, because that wasn't gonna happen, babe, Just letting

635
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 1: you know. Back up, you're in the boat. Just met

636
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 1: some guy at a board he probably I don't know.

637
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm spit ball here. You probably share a

638
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 1: birthday or something, and that's what might go up there.

639
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 1: Gonna kick that guy's fucking ask come in here, will

640
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 1: bang one out. Um. I know that we really hit

641
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 1: it off at work, but I don't know you that well.

642
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna kill everybody in there's gonna get an

643
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: ass kicking regardless we're going. He's an m M A fighter.

644
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:43,439
Speaker 1: Oh shit, what if him in for a drink? Maybe

645
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 1: we don't have any glasses, just bottles. I'm gonna go

646
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:51,200
Speaker 1: kick that. Don't worry about it. I got this. You

647
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 1: need a jay bowl. I don't think we're gonna win

648
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:55,879
Speaker 1: anything with violence. Why don't I just go out there

649
00:42:55,960 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 1: and offer him, you know, some special treatment. My wife

650
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 1: has done this in the past. It's gut this out

651
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 1: of a lot of situations. I know you're shocked your

652
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,719
Speaker 1: that mean she talks a lot. Yeah, man, that's a

653
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:12,040
Speaker 1: that's a crazy story. Look, dude, you want the cocaine

654
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:19,880
Speaker 1: or not? Yeah, I do want the cocaine. Um, yeah, yeah, alright,

655
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 1: I gonna be honest, man, I mean it's pretty I'm

656
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:25,800
Speaker 1: selling you this. I mean a year later here we

657
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 1: are the same shitty boar. You know, I guess Happy birthday.

658
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 1: I'm just a birthday boy. Blow guy, It's just on birthdays?

659
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:46,800
Speaker 1: Do I do blow? Thank you? Can I get a Oh? Oh? Okay, okay,

660
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:50,359
Speaker 1: I remember I remember you remember too? I remember too.

661
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 1: How can we say that? Oh? Is your wife? Okay?

662
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:58,880
Speaker 1: I mean she's okay. Thank you for asking. He's okay. Um.

663
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:00,360
Speaker 1: I mean I told you you was an m M

664
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 1: A fighter. I know she Listen, she has she she

665
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:07,279
Speaker 1: made her own bad. You know what I mean. Yeah,

666
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 1: she knew she was getting mean. The things they could

667
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 1: do with facial reconstructive surgery. Now, it's it's incredible. By

668
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 1: the way, you wonder if you went away and here,

669
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 1: I'm just the birthday. I'm just a birthday beer boy.

670
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:17,839
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? I need a birthday beer

671
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,000
Speaker 1: on my on my on my birthday. Yes, I just

672
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:24,240
Speaker 1: I came here hoping to somebody. I thought I recognized

673
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 1: you to this is crazy. It's just you know, I

674
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 1: didn't even well I was. I came here by myself.

675
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 1: I didn't realize you two were here. You cut me

676
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 1: in a good part of the day. I haven't I

677
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 1: got my birthday back up. Blow, Okay, we're not doing

678
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 1: this again. Come on, we had great time last year.

679
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 1: We can't do worse. Alright. So just one room? Yeah,

680
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 1: three people, Yeah, just one room for three people were

681
00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 1: avoiding his husband on his birthday. We're just how many

682
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 1: beds are in the room in the three person bedroom? Yeah,

683
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,400
Speaker 1: it's three of us checking in. Can we not make

684
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 1: a federal case? How many beds? Right? The right beds,

685
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,879
Speaker 1: bunk beds, and there's sunken beds. Took kid, So it's

686
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 1: the vice presidential swede. Fantastic. Okay, we're just avoiding, so

687
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 1: we're just having a chill time. It's not even we're

688
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 1: not partying. Okay, this is a crazy idea. But I

689
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,480
Speaker 1: know and I know a hotel motel where they book

690
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:34,360
Speaker 1: people by threesomes? Would you do you guys want to

691
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 1: get a roof? Okay, Okay, my instinct is no, but

692
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 1: I don't know, like, I mean, beats going back to

693
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:46,319
Speaker 1: your place? Right? Yeah, that was a nightmare. I mean,

694
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,479
Speaker 1: we're not going to run into your wife or any

695
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 1: of her friends from work, right Yeah? Okay, Okay, I

696
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:54,359
Speaker 1: am a birthday boy. When we share this day, you're

697
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:57,880
Speaker 1: a birthday blowboy. I mean, I mean, I mean, are

698
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 1: you in? I mean absolutely? Okay, absolutely, let's do it. Okay,

699
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 1: So just a room for for three? Yeah, we've been

700
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:14,680
Speaker 1: here for a long time. Can we just get the

701
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 1: room for three? Yeah? Do you not get three people

702
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 1: checking in often? Because you seem a little taken aback? No, No,

703
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 1: we get that. It's pretty often. We got okay, and

704
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 1: I know the desk clerk, he's so nice. Oh what

705
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:31,239
Speaker 1: are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?

706
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:33,839
Speaker 1: Did you set this up? Did you set this up?

707
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 1: You're bringing your m M a friend in Okay, Well

708
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 1: he's gonna know I'm here because he tails me every birthday.

709
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 1: He's still around. Yes, No, he has a candycade body now,

710
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 1: which is why our sex's life is terrible. It's oh god,

711
00:46:55,560 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 1: that voice is very triggering. I will break it. Do

712
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 1: this again, Darlene. Do not sacrifice your body again that monster.

713
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:07,759
Speaker 1: There are not enough doctors in the world that can

714
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 1: reconstruct reconstructive surgery. I don't go out there and break

715
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 1: his Can you can really just scrap him in? My legs?

716
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 1: Are my legs refused to the play because I got

717
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 1: so hot? Hi? Hi there Mr? What do we have

718
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 1: here in karate chop? Oh my god? Oh gosh, it's working.

719
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 1: Look at this other arm of yours? Uh? Can I

720
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 1: just get a glass form shirt and a please? Hey?

721
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 1: Can I get a by light? Oh? No? Wow? Wow, wow, God.

722
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 1: I should have known. It's It's first I forget, I forget,

723
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:46,279
Speaker 1: and then I remember as soon as I see you,

724
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:49,360
Speaker 1: coke ash, you get the out of I don't have

725
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:54,919
Speaker 1: to get out of this. I'm a pink over there.

726
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:57,759
Speaker 1: That is still our show today, Thank you so much?

727
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:02,680
Speaker 1: Oh man Cokes only ended it because he said the

728
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 1: magic word coke as that's cocas. Let's thank all of

729
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:11,399
Speaker 1: our alchemists please, starting with Mr Chris Alvarado's so great

730
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 1: to have you back. In the followed Chris, Oh, it's

731
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:15,239
Speaker 1: so nice to be back. I just love you guys

732
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 1: so much, and I feel good. So pies in October November?

733
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:22,399
Speaker 1: What is the treat in December? Look, I don't know, man,

734
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 1: what did I do? Six pies? I did six pints.

735
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 1: You went on to number six last we heard last

736
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 1: you left us, you were struggling to finish number five.

737
00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 1: And if I'm being honest, I actually did more than

738
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 1: six pies. But I don't want to be whatever. You know.

739
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 1: I don't want to be so nipicky. But a friend

740
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 1: of mine sent me four slices of pie. I just

741
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 1: I just kind of live out there. So like I

742
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 1: had at least six and a half five You had

743
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:48,480
Speaker 1: six point four pies. Also, I lost five point eight

744
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,520
Speaker 1: pounds math no joke. So can we just call it

745
00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:53,800
Speaker 1: the pie diet and get on with it? The piet,

746
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 1: the piety. Unfortunately, I think it's I lost muscle mass

747
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:02,840
Speaker 1: and I I don't feel healthy, but still go to

748
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 1: Chris you can get it and look up the piet

749
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 1: That's right. Thank you for that, Jackie Doothy, thank you,

750
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 1: thank you for joining us. So gread to see you.

751
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:16,520
Speaker 1: Plans for well, let's just say the rest of the week,

752
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,880
Speaker 1: I'm watching a lot of Christmas movies. You know, the

753
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 1: most wonderful pod Kevin. We we talked about Kevin's movie Blizzard,

754
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 1: his absolute magnum opus and a blast um. So I'm

755
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 1: watching more movies and that's my big plan. I'm getting

756
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 1: I've been in quarantine just from umvel pandemic, so I'm

757
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:44,719
Speaker 1: i am getting my test on on third tomorrow. I'm

758
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:47,399
Speaker 1: getting my test after the ten days. So well, good

759
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:51,400
Speaker 1: luck and study, study up and working folks. Find that

760
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:54,319
Speaker 1: podcast again, Oh yes, the most wonderful pot of the year.

761
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 1: You can find it wherever you find podcasts. Really and

762
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 1: um at Jackie Tarruthie, I posted all the time too much. Okay, cool,

763
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 1: thank you for that. Thank you, Greigkowski. Yeah, my wife

764
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 1: Carlin and I are doing the twelve days of Craigslist

765
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 1: Come Down twelve Holiday movies. We just started last night

766
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:17,360
Speaker 1: with Kurt Russell's The Christmas Chronicles, a new classic. So

767
00:50:18,239 --> 00:50:21,360
Speaker 1: uh yeah, excited to for some holidays here on our podcast.

768
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 1: So follow us at craigslist, peak cast at Twitter for

769
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:30,400
Speaker 1: more information. Hell yeah, right on, Joey Grimman. Yes, you

770
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:34,080
Speaker 1: know this sucks, but I'm back on Instagram. Oh yeah,

771
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 1: I fucking hate it. It's I'm at God Bless chim Chum.

772
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 1: I'm there giving shoutouts to all my followers. I'm just

773
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,920
Speaker 1: thankful and I just want to spread that that thankfulness

774
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:51,359
Speaker 1: you know, right, appreciate that. Uh God Bless chim Chum.

775
00:50:52,080 --> 00:51:00,960
Speaker 1: You said it, okay, super Girl, James Ceeney listen. I

776
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:05,920
Speaker 1: want to thank Luccio Fontana from Great Britain, who on

777
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:10,440
Speaker 1: Apple Podcast reviewed us, says funniest podcast out there, five stars.

778
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 1: I've been listening since the first episode in hell I've addicted.

779
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:18,400
Speaker 1: Make me look forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays more than

780
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:22,080
Speaker 1: anything else. I hope this podcast will be going forever

781
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 1: and ever. Remember, folks, you cheered up when I first

782
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,520
Speaker 1: read that. Remember, folks, when you write a review of

783
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 1: the show, we won't just read it, James will read

784
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 1: it in your voice as the way you intended it

785
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 1: when you wrote it. And thank you for that. James,

786
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:42,040
Speaker 1: thank you for thank you. What was that person's name,

787
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:48,279
Speaker 1: Luccio Fontana, Luccio or Lucio l u c I. Oh,

788
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:55,800
Speaker 1: I'm confident with Fontana. I like Luccio Luccio. So we

789
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:57,640
Speaker 1: want to try it again, James. This time, maybe give

790
00:51:57,719 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 1: him a little Italian accent. Okay, you're asking for the

791
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:06,840
Speaker 1: first episode in Hell. I makes me look forward to

792
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 1: two days and Thursdays more than anything else. I hope

793
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:15,960
Speaker 1: the podcast will going bad. So I didn't do it

794
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:20,200
Speaker 1: with no no, that was That's every Italian I've ever known.

795
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 1: There's some Lucky Charms and some count Chocolate. Yeah he's

796
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 1: British too, right, so like yeah, thank you for anyone

797
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 1: out there listening or writing a review or supporting us

798
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:40,920
Speaker 1: however you do and contributing your creativity. I love your

799
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:44,200
Speaker 1: emails and UM your messages on Patreon, so thank you

800
00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:47,520
Speaker 1: very very much for that. As I gathered them each week,

801
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 1: you are loaded into the queue as I threaten you

802
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:54,359
Speaker 1: and UM we are a bit overwhelmed with the amount now,

803
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 1: but we're working through them, and I just want to

804
00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:00,279
Speaker 1: say take a moment to say thanks. Let's die our

805
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:05,359
Speaker 1: engineering prous of the stars. Mr Doug Bay fine folks

806
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:11,759
Speaker 1: that I heart media. I'm your host, Kevin Pollack, reminding you, um,

807
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:14,919
Speaker 1: we're as good as the company we keep, so let's

808
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:17,840
Speaker 1: be the best company we can to others about that.

809
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 1: Until next time, alcohol r