1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:04,720 Speaker 1: Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the Morning Show. 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:10,320 Speaker 2: Sometimes being alone is awesome. Sometimes being lonely is not awesome. 3 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:13,040 Speaker 2: You know what a lot of psychologists you're saying there 4 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:18,239 Speaker 2: is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. 5 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 3: Correct, absolutely so. 6 00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:23,079 Speaker 2: I mean you could you could call it with the 7 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 2: introvert versus the extrovert, you could call it the whatever 8 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 2: you want to call it. So, Gandhi and I were 9 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 2: talking about this article that came out in the New 10 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 2: York Post not too long ago. The headline as psychologist 11 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 2: reveals three major benefits of being alone despite the stigma. 12 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 2: But you know, we do know there is a loneliness 13 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 2: epidemic going on in the world. As a matter of fact, 14 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 2: some therapists are actually prescribing socializing to their patients. This 15 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 2: is what you need to do, get out and socialize. 16 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:58,320 Speaker 2: But being alone a solitude, being alone, being having solitude 17 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 2: time with yourself is a great Do you guys like it, Danielle? 18 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 2: Do you ever get time where you just have peace 19 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 2: and quite just you? 20 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of time. I mean if I if 21 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 1: I'm not going from my walk with my friend Lisa, 22 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 1: then I'm usually by myself. And that's when I have, 23 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,360 Speaker 1: like me, time to just kind of take a deep 24 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,960 Speaker 1: breath and on when you need it. Oh, everybody needs it. 25 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,319 Speaker 3: Everybody needs what about you? Gandhi? 26 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 4: Oh I love it. I never lived alone until I 27 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,479 Speaker 4: moved to Boston. I had always been with my sister 28 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 4: or family or boyfriend or friend. And I was really afraid, 29 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 4: what is this going to be like? I don't know 30 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 4: if I could ever go back to living with someone else. 31 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,280 Speaker 4: I love it so much. 32 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's pandemic. 33 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 2: Actually switched a lot of us into that lane where 34 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 2: I spend today. For instance, I have to work out, 35 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,319 Speaker 2: and that's it. I have the data myself nice and 36 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 2: even though my my text messages are going to be 37 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 2: bulging and people need this and need that, and well, 38 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:55,120 Speaker 2: I'm gonna just tell everyone just to f off. Yes, 39 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 2: not in a mean way, but I need it. I 40 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 2: need some time to myself way and I'm okay with that. Hey, 41 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 2: So you have Emily here on line eighteen. Lived alone 42 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 2: for three years. The best decision of your life was 43 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 2: to move out of your parents' house. At twenty six, 44 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 2: You've got a studio apartment, moved in, but you just 45 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 2: moved in with your boyfriend after three years of solitude. 46 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 3: How are you feeling about this transition, Emily, I love it, Honestly. 47 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,799 Speaker 5: I always said that I would be way too paranoid 48 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 5: to live alone. I watched way too many like scary 49 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 5: shows and read so many scary books. So it was 50 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:34,120 Speaker 5: definitely a learning experience. But it was incredible. I was 51 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 5: very lucky to have built up a good amount of 52 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 5: savings so I wouldn't with my parents for so long 53 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 5: so that I could afford to live alone, because it 54 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:45,639 Speaker 5: is incredibly expensive to do so, but I wouldn't change 55 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 5: it for the world. 56 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 3: It was. 57 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 5: It gives you so much growth. 58 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:50,680 Speaker 3: It really does, you know. 59 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 2: In this article they say, look, there's also this the 60 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 2: culture's deficit view of solitude is a thing where a 61 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 2: lot of people think, well, you're living alone, all poor 62 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 2: thing wrong with you. Well, it's this type of thinking 63 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:07,240 Speaker 2: people desiring to be alone. People think it's unnatural first 64 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 2: to want to be alone and unhealthy. And you may 65 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,360 Speaker 2: have some friends who you do know for a fact 66 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 2: they need they need to be socializing with some people, but. 67 00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:17,799 Speaker 3: I don't know. So when you were alone, what do 68 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 3: you miss most about being alone? And living alone? 69 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 5: Honestly, just being able to do whatever I want, whenever 70 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:25,920 Speaker 5: I want. 71 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 6: I can. 72 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 5: I didn't have to. I don't want to say answer 73 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,239 Speaker 5: to anyone, but I didn't really have to explain anything. 74 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,760 Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, you can. 75 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 2: You can connect with you, You connect with how you feel 76 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 2: about things right, your emotions and creativity. It goes on 77 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 2: to say in this article, if you are constantly hearing 78 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 2: static from someone else in what they need for you 79 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 2: to do for them, in the in the relationship, and 80 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 2: in the in the household, and this and that, then 81 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 2: you really don't have any time it's been in recharge 82 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 2: for yourself, right. 83 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 4: I'b truely. 84 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 5: I think independence is incredibly important for people, and unfortunately 85 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 5: these days, a lot of people don't get it or 86 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 5: they're too scared of it. And that's how I was. 87 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 5: So it kind of pushed me out of my comfort 88 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 5: zone and forced me to learn a lot more about myself. 89 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 1: I think some people are scared about being alone with 90 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,520 Speaker 1: their thoughts as well, Like you know what I mean, 91 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 1: Like if you're with other people, you don't have to 92 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 1: just be by yourself and think about things, Like if 93 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: you ever thought the people you're distracted all the time, 94 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: you know. 95 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 2: But as nervous as you are about being with your thoughts, 96 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 2: I mean, those are the thoughts you should probably. 97 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 3: Be listening to. 98 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, one of the benefits that the article talked about 99 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:40,680 Speaker 4: was how important it is for your self regulation as 100 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 4: far as living alone, because typically when you are with 101 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,479 Speaker 4: other people, there are so many distractions to take you 102 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 4: out of whatever that thing is that you're feeling. But 103 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 4: a lot of times we really need to sit with 104 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,479 Speaker 4: that thing that we're feeling to get past it, to 105 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 4: analyze it, to see how can I learn from this? 106 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,599 Speaker 4: And when you're by yourself, they claim, people are much 107 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 4: better at regulating emotion and when you live alone. 108 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,039 Speaker 2: Wow, look at all the texts that are coming through. 109 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 2: So many people are responding to this. Emily, listen to this. 110 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 2: The Perston says, alone for seventeen years, love it never 111 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,280 Speaker 2: feel lonely. That's a foreign concept to me. Yeah, I 112 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 2: have to retire from the military. I lost all those 113 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,160 Speaker 2: people around me, and I suffer from loneliness daily. This 114 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 2: person says, so again, being alone and being lonely are 115 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 2: two different things, you know, and you have to sift 116 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 2: it out and recognize which is which. And listen, Emily, 117 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:32,920 Speaker 2: you're now rolling into this relationship with your boyfriend living together, 118 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 2: are you going to try to find ways to still 119 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:36,799 Speaker 2: be alone? 120 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 6: Oh? 121 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 5: Absolutely. We have certain nights out of the week where 122 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 5: we just do our own thing. He's off with his friends, 123 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,480 Speaker 5: I'm off with mine, or I'm all alone at home, 124 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 5: or he's alone at home, and so we definitely still 125 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,040 Speaker 5: make time for ourselves. 126 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:53,599 Speaker 3: Right. 127 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:55,480 Speaker 2: You know a lot of people are texting in about 128 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 2: how they miss being in relationships, therefore they're lonely. 129 00:05:58,680 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 3: There's got to be a. 130 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 2: Great way to be in a relationship and getting everything 131 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 2: you need, all the benefits from the relationship, but still 132 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,840 Speaker 2: you have your time alone and that's I guess that's 133 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 2: the challenge a lot of people face. Hey, listen, thank 134 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 2: you for listening to us, Emily, and best of luck 135 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,040 Speaker 2: with your uh well with your future of being alone 136 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 2: with a boyfriend. 137 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:22,160 Speaker 3: Take care, take care. 138 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 2: Interesting call online nineteen Jay up in Syracuse lived alone 139 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 2: for two years after his divorce. Now you're getting back 140 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:33,280 Speaker 2: into the relationship role again. You're coming. You're kind of 141 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 2: finding it hard not to have your space anymore. 142 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 6: Right, Yeah, good morning, guys. Uh, you know what it 143 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 6: is after being living with somebody for twelve years and 144 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 6: then going to your own space, you can become selfish. 145 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 6: And it's sad to say that, but it really it's 146 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 6: so nice because if you're your own person again, there's 147 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 6: no stresses of anything else. And now turning it around 148 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 6: and starting to get into a relationship and kind of 149 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 6: living with somebody part time, you find yourself kind of 150 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,040 Speaker 6: wanting that alone time a little bit, to come home 151 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 6: and drop your clothes and PLoP on the couch for 152 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 6: a few hours and not have any stress or oh. 153 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, drop and PLoP you miss it? 154 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 6: Yeah? 155 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't have to say if you want to 156 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 1: watch The Bachelor and she wants to watch something else, 157 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: or you know what I mean, then you know there's 158 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 1: no argument because you know, when you're by yourself, you 159 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,240 Speaker 1: can get to watch any damn thing you choose, right, 160 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: So I have a question about that. 161 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 4: Then, for everybody that's in a relationship and lives in 162 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 4: the same home, if you want to watch The Bachelor 163 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 4: and he wants to watch golf, yeah, why can't you 164 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 4: just go in your room and watch The Bachelor while 165 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 4: he watches golf. 166 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 1: Not everyone has two TV's, but for the people that. 167 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,239 Speaker 4: Do, everyone has a phone. 168 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 1: Now, I guess you can. I guess you can. But 169 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 1: it's like, I don't know. I think it's just like 170 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,280 Speaker 1: the argument. It's just nice to have the argument. 171 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 4: Oh sounds glorious. 172 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 1: I'm very lucky in my house because we agree on 173 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 1: most most television, which is great. But there's a lot 174 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,920 Speaker 1: a lot of people I know that don't want to 175 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 1: watch sports like you said, and the other does. I 176 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 1: don't know, they figure it out. 177 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 3: I guess yeah. 178 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 4: See, like I have no problem if if you know, 179 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 4: Brandon is visiting and he wants to watch something that 180 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 4: I don't, I'm like, please watch it. I'm not going 181 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 4: to watch this, and I'm not upset at you at 182 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 4: all for watching it, but I don't really want to 183 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 4: watch it. 184 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 1: But I think, also, you know what if you're not 185 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: together all day, right, and you only have this little 186 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: piece of time that you are together, like I know, 187 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, Sheldon and I have 188 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 1: a little piece of time and like I want to 189 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 1: have a glass of wine and watch TV together. If 190 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: that is separation, then what time are you spending together 191 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 1: because he's watching that and you're watching that. So maybe 192 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 1: I have to compromise every now and then and. 193 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 4: Watch something so unpopular opinion. I'm gonna say this, I 194 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 4: don't enjoy quality time as watching TV. I like to 195 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 4: do something with someone like let's go for a walk, 196 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 4: let's go out to eat, let's do yeah, let's cook, 197 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 4: let's do whatever. But I like with Jay, I feel 198 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 4: like there is a healthy compromise in there with what 199 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 4: you're doing, and I think that you shouldn't do something 200 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 4: that then makes you resentful of the other person because 201 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,080 Speaker 4: you feel like you're giving up. I know you're feeling like, 202 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 4: maybe I'm being a little selfish because I don't want 203 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,360 Speaker 4: to do these things. But isn't there a balance in 204 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 4: there somewhere? 205 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 6: Well, I think it's like work life balance is the 206 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,200 Speaker 6: same with a relationship. I think you need to have 207 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,680 Speaker 6: a good balance of your own time and good balance 208 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 6: of time spent together, actual time spent together, not just 209 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 6: hanging out. I think doing doing things and actually building 210 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 6: a relationship is another thing. Yeah, so an adjustment. 211 00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 2: The twelve year relationship you had before you're divorce obviously 212 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 2: not based on these rules of living. So now you 213 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:40,839 Speaker 2: know that's that's the whole point of going from one 214 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 2: relationship to another. You learn from the one that didn't work, 215 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,200 Speaker 2: and now you're applying what you learn to this one. 216 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:50,319 Speaker 2: And obviously I'm making assumptions here I shouldn't. Obviously you 217 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:54,200 Speaker 2: didn't have quality time for yourself in your last relationship. 218 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 2: And you know, being alone isn't always about physically being 219 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 2: with someone. It's also not having them in your head 220 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:05,959 Speaker 2: all day long. You know, for instance, you know Alex 221 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 2: and I don't live with each other five days a 222 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,839 Speaker 2: week or seven days a week, but there are days 223 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 2: where you know, I've got to get this done for 224 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,960 Speaker 2: him or we I got to plan this trip for 225 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,640 Speaker 2: the two of us, or this, and that he's still 226 00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:15,079 Speaker 2: in my head. 227 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 3: Therefore I'm not alone. Does that make sense? 228 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know, right, But for scary for instance, 229 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 2: you and Robin have the same sort of the same 230 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,199 Speaker 2: relationship I have with Alex. 231 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 3: We do, and I think you only have like three, 232 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,640 Speaker 3: like three three days a week you're with each other. 233 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,960 Speaker 7: I say much, sometimes less, But I gotta say I 234 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,760 Speaker 7: do love living alone because I can I'm doing making 235 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:35,199 Speaker 7: my spontaneous decisions with my friends. If I can pick 236 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,600 Speaker 7: up and go whenever I want, I don't have to sacrifice. 237 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 7: We don't get into fights, which has kept the relationship 238 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 7: alive all these years. I think that's what contributes to 239 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 7: the longevity of the relationship, the fact that absence makes 240 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 7: the heart grow fonder and we you know, we're not 241 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,359 Speaker 7: in each other's faces constantly. 242 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 1: I also think if you live with somebody and you're 243 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 1: always with them and you do need your time, the 244 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 1: other person shouldn't get angry at all because everybody needs 245 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: their time. Everybody needs, like to take a step back 246 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: and take a breath. So it's not that they don't 247 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 1: want to be with you all the time and spend 248 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 1: time with you, and said, you know, they need their time, 249 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 1: like you should take your time. 250 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,440 Speaker 3: You know in a world yes, like God to. 251 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,920 Speaker 2: You, you and Brandon, this is a long distance relationship. Yeah, 252 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 2: so it's the best of both worlds for you if 253 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 2: that's what's. 254 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 3: Right for you. Guys. 255 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:23,320 Speaker 4: Absolutely, I enjoy it. I like space. I enjoy the 256 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,440 Speaker 4: time that we're together because to me, it feels like 257 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,319 Speaker 4: we're more intentional about the things that we do because 258 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 4: it is a limited time together. But also if there's 259 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 4: something that he wants to do when I'm there, I 260 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 4: have no problem with him doing that thing. I think 261 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 4: a big part of the downfall in relationships is people 262 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,840 Speaker 4: being way too codependent and having to do everything together. 263 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,960 Speaker 4: So he wants to go out with his boys and like, 264 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,560 Speaker 4: you know, smoke a joint and do whatever they want 265 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,439 Speaker 4: to do. I'm happy for him to do that. I 266 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,080 Speaker 4: don't want to do that, but I'm not resentful at 267 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,080 Speaker 4: all that he wants to go do it. 268 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 2: Here you go, Well, look all the best to you, Jay, 269 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 2: And you know, what you called as being selfish is 270 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 2: probably not that bad of a thing, so roll with it, 271 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,200 Speaker 2: and it may be it may be the best thing 272 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 2: for both of you in this relationship. 273 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 3: So you know, roll with it. Do do what your 274 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 3: gut in your brain tell you to do. 275 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:13,199 Speaker 2: You twelve years married, you learned, You learned how to 276 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:15,160 Speaker 2: how to go find the life you're happy with. 277 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,080 Speaker 3: So go find that you deserve it. And thanks for 278 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 3: listening to us. Thanks take it easy. There you go West, 279 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:22,600 Speaker 3: just thinking about it.