1 00:00:15,476 --> 00:00:22,676 Speaker 1: Pushkin. Santy Gold is an artist who exists at the 2 00:00:22,716 --> 00:00:26,516 Speaker 1: cross section of punk, dub, new wave, and indie pop. 3 00:00:27,036 --> 00:00:30,516 Speaker 1: Long frustrated with attempts to classify her music, she's always 4 00:00:30,556 --> 00:00:34,036 Speaker 1: been a proud outlier among the restrictive categories used to 5 00:00:34,116 --> 00:00:38,116 Speaker 1: divide music. Sony Gold's anti establishment bent was in part 6 00:00:38,116 --> 00:00:40,076 Speaker 1: a reaction to working as an A and R for 7 00:00:40,116 --> 00:00:44,276 Speaker 1: Epic Records Black music Department. Frustrated with what they categorized 8 00:00:44,276 --> 00:00:47,396 Speaker 1: as urban music in the early yachts, she left her job, 9 00:00:47,476 --> 00:00:51,156 Speaker 1: went home to Philly and started a punk band called Stifft. 10 00:00:51,996 --> 00:00:53,796 Speaker 1: After honing her skills for a few years as the 11 00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:57,356 Speaker 1: lead singer, she released her debut solo album, Santy Gold 12 00:00:57,436 --> 00:01:00,996 Speaker 1: in two thousand and eight. The album's lead singles, creator 13 00:01:01,076 --> 00:01:04,916 Speaker 1: and ls artists were a revelation when they came out, 14 00:01:05,036 --> 00:01:08,036 Speaker 1: and led to Sante Gold headlining tours around the world 15 00:01:08,196 --> 00:01:12,196 Speaker 1: and opening shows for Byork, Cold, Blay jay Z and 16 00:01:12,316 --> 00:01:16,396 Speaker 1: The Beastie Boys. Now with three more albums to her credit, 17 00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:20,836 Speaker 1: including last year's Soulstring Spirituals, Santy Gold is celebrating the 18 00:01:20,876 --> 00:01:25,396 Speaker 1: fifteenth anniversary of her debut release. She's also expanded her 19 00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:29,676 Speaker 1: artistic endeavors to include a podcast called Noble Champions, where 20 00:01:29,676 --> 00:01:33,916 Speaker 1: she mindes the creative life with friends like Olivia Wilde, Questlove, 21 00:01:34,236 --> 00:01:38,276 Speaker 1: and Yasin Bay. On today's episode of Broken Record, Lea 22 00:01:38,396 --> 00:01:41,036 Speaker 1: Rose talks to Santy Gold about the unique path she 23 00:01:41,076 --> 00:01:44,236 Speaker 1: took to build her solo career. She also shares why 24 00:01:44,276 --> 00:01:46,716 Speaker 1: she decided to cancel her tour last year with a 25 00:01:46,756 --> 00:01:50,436 Speaker 1: heartfelt public letter that shared insight into the financial and 26 00:01:50,476 --> 00:01:55,556 Speaker 1: emotional toll of touring post pandemic. Santy Gold also recalls 27 00:01:55,636 --> 00:01:58,516 Speaker 1: the moment she discovered she was in a list of 28 00:01:58,516 --> 00:02:02,276 Speaker 1: influential black female artists called out by Beyonce on her 29 00:02:02,316 --> 00:02:09,236 Speaker 1: break My Soul remix. This is Broken Record notes in 30 00:02:09,276 --> 00:02:13,356 Speaker 1: the digital Age. I'm justin Mitchell. Here's Lea Rose with 31 00:02:13,476 --> 00:02:14,196 Speaker 1: Santy Gold. 32 00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:17,836 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for doing this. I'm really looking 33 00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:20,396 Speaker 2: forward to it. I know we've been trying to get 34 00:02:20,396 --> 00:02:23,396 Speaker 2: it together for a while now. Yeah, since I've been 35 00:02:23,396 --> 00:02:25,756 Speaker 2: researching this, since I've been in your world, you feel 36 00:02:25,796 --> 00:02:30,076 Speaker 2: so strong and so uncompromising in your work. Has it 37 00:02:30,156 --> 00:02:32,756 Speaker 2: always felt like that for you? Like, have you always 38 00:02:33,276 --> 00:02:36,396 Speaker 2: just been really clear on what you wanted to make? 39 00:02:37,236 --> 00:02:40,196 Speaker 3: I mean, as a process of years of being a 40 00:02:40,316 --> 00:02:44,076 Speaker 3: kid and like writing in my journal and you know, 41 00:02:44,236 --> 00:02:46,436 Speaker 3: trying to play some instruments and then trying to make 42 00:02:46,476 --> 00:02:48,756 Speaker 3: some beats, and so it wasn't like I know exactly 43 00:02:48,756 --> 00:02:51,636 Speaker 3: what I want to do. In fact, I've read through 44 00:02:51,636 --> 00:02:54,596 Speaker 3: my journals whenever I get a chance. I recently, because 45 00:02:54,596 --> 00:02:56,596 Speaker 3: I'm actually working on a books. I actually just read 46 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,916 Speaker 3: through this whole journal last week. But there's this one 47 00:03:00,076 --> 00:03:03,516 Speaker 3: entry from when I was about maybe like fifteen to seventeen. 48 00:03:03,556 --> 00:03:04,036 Speaker 4: I don't know that. 49 00:03:04,116 --> 00:03:06,476 Speaker 3: I was like, I know there's music in me, but 50 00:03:06,556 --> 00:03:09,116 Speaker 3: I think the kind of music doesn't exist yet. 51 00:03:09,676 --> 00:03:09,876 Speaker 2: Wow. 52 00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:12,196 Speaker 4: You know I wrote that as a teenager. 53 00:03:12,156 --> 00:03:15,996 Speaker 3: Because I just I knew that, like, I liked so 54 00:03:16,076 --> 00:03:21,076 Speaker 3: many different kinds of music, but nothing felt like it 55 00:03:21,116 --> 00:03:25,356 Speaker 3: could hold the full spectrum of what I wanted to 56 00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:26,476 Speaker 3: make or hear. 57 00:03:26,716 --> 00:03:28,836 Speaker 4: Even so I would just jump around. 58 00:03:28,916 --> 00:03:30,956 Speaker 3: I would listen to like rock, and then I'd be like, oh, 59 00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:32,796 Speaker 3: this doesn't have enough bass. And then I listened to 60 00:03:32,876 --> 00:03:34,556 Speaker 3: hip hop and I'm like, this is this is just 61 00:03:34,596 --> 00:03:37,396 Speaker 3: not crazy enough, you know what I mean? And so 62 00:03:37,436 --> 00:03:39,756 Speaker 3: I would just go back and forth. And even when 63 00:03:39,756 --> 00:03:42,316 Speaker 3: I started to make music, which was kind of my mistake, 64 00:03:42,436 --> 00:03:45,476 Speaker 3: I only started to make music because I couldn't find 65 00:03:45,596 --> 00:03:48,156 Speaker 3: what I wanted to listen to. And first I tried 66 00:03:48,156 --> 00:03:50,156 Speaker 3: writing for other people, but then they didn't do it 67 00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:52,236 Speaker 3: exactly like I wanted it to sound. So it was 68 00:03:52,276 --> 00:03:54,476 Speaker 3: just really the art led me to be the performer 69 00:03:55,036 --> 00:03:57,716 Speaker 3: because I just wanted to I wanted to make exactly 70 00:03:57,756 --> 00:04:00,916 Speaker 3: what I wanted to hear. So I wrote a record 71 00:04:01,036 --> 00:04:04,036 Speaker 3: for an artist called Reese, and it was like mixing 72 00:04:04,116 --> 00:04:05,596 Speaker 3: rock and had more soul than I would have. 73 00:04:05,596 --> 00:04:07,076 Speaker 4: Put in because it was collaborative. 74 00:04:07,636 --> 00:04:08,636 Speaker 3: And then I was like, I want to make a 75 00:04:08,636 --> 00:04:11,236 Speaker 3: punk rock record, and then I did that for a bit, 76 00:04:11,316 --> 00:04:13,756 Speaker 3: but then that was limiting as well, and so then 77 00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:16,556 Speaker 3: it wasn't until Santy Gold where I was just like, 78 00:04:17,196 --> 00:04:19,756 Speaker 3: I'm going to make whatever I want, and anything I 79 00:04:19,836 --> 00:04:21,676 Speaker 3: want to go in it is going to go in it. 80 00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:25,556 Speaker 3: And no one will probably want to hear this music, 81 00:04:25,836 --> 00:04:28,596 Speaker 3: but I'm going to make it anyway. And so that 82 00:04:28,796 --> 00:04:31,796 Speaker 3: was the first time that I really just put it 83 00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:35,236 Speaker 3: all down. And I would say the process of coming 84 00:04:35,236 --> 00:04:37,996 Speaker 3: to that, becoming that person who was clear in that 85 00:04:38,116 --> 00:04:40,716 Speaker 3: vision started as a teenager, and you know, I went 86 00:04:40,756 --> 00:04:43,436 Speaker 3: to like I would change my scene and my look, 87 00:04:43,556 --> 00:04:45,956 Speaker 3: like all the time, I was like a Philly fly 88 00:04:46,116 --> 00:04:48,036 Speaker 3: girl with gold earrings and ace metro. And then I 89 00:04:48,076 --> 00:04:50,996 Speaker 3: was like, you know, in a classic rock and vintage 90 00:04:51,076 --> 00:04:53,476 Speaker 3: T shirts. And then I was like going out to 91 00:04:53,556 --> 00:04:54,636 Speaker 3: house music. You know. 92 00:04:54,876 --> 00:04:56,916 Speaker 4: I was just literally like taking it all in. 93 00:04:57,836 --> 00:05:00,756 Speaker 3: And it was until I went to Quaker School when 94 00:05:00,756 --> 00:05:04,516 Speaker 3: I was about fifteen that I started to understand that 95 00:05:04,556 --> 00:05:06,516 Speaker 3: I could like hold space for all these things. 96 00:05:07,116 --> 00:05:09,396 Speaker 2: What was it about the Quaker school that it helps 97 00:05:09,436 --> 00:05:10,116 Speaker 2: you realize that. 98 00:05:10,996 --> 00:05:13,036 Speaker 3: I think it's several things. I think they gave me 99 00:05:13,236 --> 00:05:17,596 Speaker 3: a lot of autonomy to be an artist at that school, 100 00:05:17,716 --> 00:05:20,876 Speaker 3: Like it was like the whole creed was there's that 101 00:05:20,956 --> 00:05:23,396 Speaker 3: of God and everyone, and so you'd sit in meeting 102 00:05:23,396 --> 00:05:26,956 Speaker 3: for worship once a week. That was the only religious 103 00:05:26,956 --> 00:05:28,956 Speaker 3: aspect was sitting in meeting for worship once a week 104 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:29,636 Speaker 3: for forty five. 105 00:05:29,476 --> 00:05:31,796 Speaker 4: Minutes, and it was in silence. 106 00:05:31,836 --> 00:05:34,116 Speaker 3: You sit in silence unless you were moved to stand 107 00:05:34,196 --> 00:05:37,236 Speaker 3: up and say something. And the idea was anything that 108 00:05:37,276 --> 00:05:38,476 Speaker 3: you wanted to stand up and say. It could be 109 00:05:38,556 --> 00:05:40,436 Speaker 3: anything like I had a dream last night and blah blah, 110 00:05:40,516 --> 00:05:42,676 Speaker 3: or you know, it could be anything, but if you 111 00:05:42,796 --> 00:05:44,276 Speaker 3: felt like you wanted to stand up and say it. 112 00:05:44,316 --> 00:05:47,996 Speaker 3: The idea was that it was sort of worth reflecting 113 00:05:48,076 --> 00:05:51,636 Speaker 3: upon by the whole community. It was valid, like and 114 00:05:51,796 --> 00:05:53,396 Speaker 3: you know, you call your teachers by the first name, 115 00:05:53,556 --> 00:05:56,036 Speaker 3: so it was like, oh, my voice is important, you know. 116 00:05:56,116 --> 00:05:58,996 Speaker 3: And then they had like painting studio. I was a 117 00:05:59,236 --> 00:06:03,076 Speaker 3: painting sort of major by my senior year. Whatever that meant, like, 118 00:06:03,116 --> 00:06:05,076 Speaker 3: I took senior studio, so you would get to go 119 00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:08,676 Speaker 3: and paint for like three hours, build whatever size canvas, 120 00:06:08,676 --> 00:06:11,156 Speaker 3: and do whatever you want. And then I got like, 121 00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,356 Speaker 3: I won the art Award, and I like, you know, 122 00:06:13,556 --> 00:06:15,796 Speaker 3: I knew by that point, I had been to this 123 00:06:16,156 --> 00:06:17,876 Speaker 3: all girls private school for eight years, and I went 124 00:06:17,876 --> 00:06:20,556 Speaker 3: to this public school which was a magnet school, which 125 00:06:20,596 --> 00:06:22,316 Speaker 3: had all kids from Uliver City. And then I went 126 00:06:22,356 --> 00:06:25,076 Speaker 3: to this school, and so I knew a lot of people. 127 00:06:25,116 --> 00:06:26,436 Speaker 3: I knew a lot of people in the city. I 128 00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:30,196 Speaker 3: knew all the parties happening, and people were like valuing 129 00:06:30,236 --> 00:06:32,436 Speaker 3: that about me, that I that I knew about all 130 00:06:32,436 --> 00:06:34,996 Speaker 3: these different scenes. So I think I started to be like, oh, 131 00:06:34,996 --> 00:06:37,116 Speaker 3: it's actually cool to sit in the middle of all 132 00:06:37,116 --> 00:06:39,716 Speaker 3: these different scenes and not have to choose. And I 133 00:06:39,796 --> 00:06:42,636 Speaker 3: never felt like I met anybody else who was doing 134 00:06:42,676 --> 00:06:45,156 Speaker 3: that until I was about thirty one. Honestly, when I 135 00:06:45,236 --> 00:06:47,396 Speaker 3: started when I met like spank Rock, I think when 136 00:06:47,436 --> 00:06:49,916 Speaker 3: I met Naim, I was like, this is the first 137 00:06:49,916 --> 00:06:52,516 Speaker 3: person that actually mirrors me in this way. 138 00:06:53,156 --> 00:06:55,596 Speaker 2: Do you remember like conversations you had that helped you 139 00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:56,156 Speaker 2: realize that? 140 00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:59,036 Speaker 4: No, I don't even think it was a conversational type 141 00:06:59,076 --> 00:06:59,316 Speaker 4: of thing. 142 00:06:59,356 --> 00:07:02,716 Speaker 3: It was just like, you know, energetically, I am a 143 00:07:02,876 --> 00:07:06,796 Speaker 3: very intuitive person and I feel people, you know, and 144 00:07:06,836 --> 00:07:08,876 Speaker 3: it was like, clearly, I mean with the music he 145 00:07:08,916 --> 00:07:11,956 Speaker 3: was doing is amazing conversation that he has showed so 146 00:07:12,076 --> 00:07:13,556 Speaker 3: much more depth and perspective. 147 00:07:14,276 --> 00:07:16,756 Speaker 4: Just going over his producer Triple Exchange. 148 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,796 Speaker 3: His house and listening to records, I mean, I just 149 00:07:18,836 --> 00:07:20,796 Speaker 3: knew what their influences were and I was like, oh, 150 00:07:20,796 --> 00:07:24,116 Speaker 3: this is like me. And then Naim became such a 151 00:07:24,156 --> 00:07:27,356 Speaker 3: support and inspiration for me. So just conversationally as an artist, 152 00:07:27,396 --> 00:07:29,876 Speaker 3: it was support as an artist who could actually get 153 00:07:29,956 --> 00:07:30,436 Speaker 3: their head. 154 00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:31,796 Speaker 4: Around the whole thing that I was doing. 155 00:07:32,196 --> 00:07:34,396 Speaker 3: You know. Just to have community in that way was 156 00:07:34,916 --> 00:07:38,116 Speaker 3: a huge part of me being able to have confidence 157 00:07:38,156 --> 00:07:42,276 Speaker 3: and strength, because everybody needs community, and I think as 158 00:07:42,276 --> 00:07:44,396 Speaker 3: an artist trying to do something that's kind of going 159 00:07:44,436 --> 00:07:47,636 Speaker 3: against the grain. It can be very isolating and lonely, 160 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,156 Speaker 3: and then those times you don't really feel as confident. 161 00:07:50,196 --> 00:07:52,996 Speaker 3: And so when you have the community to be like, 162 00:07:53,356 --> 00:07:56,796 Speaker 3: you're fucking killing it, you know, like even if you're not, 163 00:07:56,916 --> 00:07:59,636 Speaker 3: even if nobody else knows that you're killing it, to 164 00:07:59,676 --> 00:08:02,916 Speaker 3: have somebody that's like you're killing it, it just changes. 165 00:08:02,596 --> 00:08:05,636 Speaker 2: Everything, It really does. But it's funny because some people 166 00:08:05,676 --> 00:08:09,396 Speaker 2: are motivated by the opposite. Like you think of somebody 167 00:08:09,516 --> 00:08:12,596 Speaker 2: like a Kanye who's like motivated to prove everybody wrong. 168 00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,516 Speaker 4: Oh, I'm that too. I've always been that. 169 00:08:15,196 --> 00:08:17,156 Speaker 3: Yeah, I have that in my little kid journals too, 170 00:08:17,236 --> 00:08:19,956 Speaker 3: Like if some guy like didn't work out. 171 00:08:19,836 --> 00:08:23,436 Speaker 4: I'd like, I'll show him. I'm gonna make everybody want me. 172 00:08:24,196 --> 00:08:24,436 Speaker 2: You know. 173 00:08:25,476 --> 00:08:27,076 Speaker 4: I definitely have that too. 174 00:08:27,356 --> 00:08:31,196 Speaker 3: It's a competitiveness, but it's more like an internal competitiveness, 175 00:08:31,236 --> 00:08:35,156 Speaker 3: Like but that comes from knowing though, it's not really 176 00:08:35,276 --> 00:08:38,756 Speaker 3: from wanting to prove everybody wrong. It's wanting to show 177 00:08:38,796 --> 00:08:41,636 Speaker 3: everybody what you know that you already are. 178 00:08:42,196 --> 00:08:43,156 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know what I mean. 179 00:08:43,196 --> 00:08:45,836 Speaker 3: You have to have confidence to feel that way, because 180 00:08:45,876 --> 00:08:48,836 Speaker 3: you're like, they don't fucking see it. They don't get 181 00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:52,636 Speaker 3: it like nobody sees it. I have to make it. 182 00:08:52,196 --> 00:08:54,276 Speaker 4: Visible and undeniable, you know. 183 00:08:54,356 --> 00:08:57,116 Speaker 3: So that's really a it's really a drive that's like, 184 00:08:57,956 --> 00:09:00,636 Speaker 3: there's just this knowing, you know. That's that's what my 185 00:09:00,676 --> 00:09:03,116 Speaker 3: whole thing is to answer your first question. Is just 186 00:09:03,236 --> 00:09:07,396 Speaker 3: a knowing that you have about who you are and 187 00:09:07,476 --> 00:09:12,916 Speaker 3: about what you can create. Really, that I think is 188 00:09:13,156 --> 00:09:15,396 Speaker 3: what's special about a lot of artists. It's just that 189 00:09:15,676 --> 00:09:21,116 Speaker 3: intrinsic knowing about their own power and magic. You know. 190 00:09:22,276 --> 00:09:24,196 Speaker 2: Has there ever been a point in time where you 191 00:09:24,316 --> 00:09:27,916 Speaker 2: felt like you've lost access to that part of yourself 192 00:09:27,956 --> 00:09:29,596 Speaker 2: where you can create from. 193 00:09:30,116 --> 00:09:32,156 Speaker 4: Yeah, lots of times. 194 00:09:32,996 --> 00:09:35,836 Speaker 3: I remember after the first record when I had to 195 00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,796 Speaker 3: turn around and do a second record, and of course 196 00:09:37,796 --> 00:09:40,276 Speaker 3: on the second record, everything's different from the first record. 197 00:09:40,916 --> 00:09:43,996 Speaker 3: The team isn't the same, and like the pressure is 198 00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:48,236 Speaker 3: very different, and I remember feeling really overwhelmed, and I had. 199 00:09:48,036 --> 00:09:49,796 Speaker 4: Some people there in my corner then too. 200 00:09:49,836 --> 00:09:51,756 Speaker 3: I remember Pharrell being somebody that I talked to a 201 00:09:51,756 --> 00:09:54,676 Speaker 3: lot during that period, and he was awesome. He was 202 00:09:54,756 --> 00:10:00,236 Speaker 3: really helpful and encouraging a bunch of other friends as well. 203 00:10:00,276 --> 00:10:04,076 Speaker 3: I remember even when before my first Sonte Gold record, 204 00:10:04,356 --> 00:10:06,236 Speaker 3: my father had passed away, and it was just a 205 00:10:06,236 --> 00:10:12,236 Speaker 3: whole traumatic era of life. And I stopped writing altogether 206 00:10:12,356 --> 00:10:16,516 Speaker 3: because everything I wrote was so dark, even the poetry, 207 00:10:16,596 --> 00:10:19,676 Speaker 3: it was so dark. And I was like, I'm just 208 00:10:19,676 --> 00:10:21,516 Speaker 3: going to put this down for a second until it 209 00:10:21,556 --> 00:10:23,836 Speaker 3: feels a little bit different, you know. And it's not 210 00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,676 Speaker 3: that it's not I mean, some people need that need 211 00:10:27,116 --> 00:10:28,716 Speaker 3: that to come out that way, but I was like, 212 00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:31,156 Speaker 3: this is making me feel worse, you know. 213 00:10:31,196 --> 00:10:32,916 Speaker 4: So I just stepped away. 214 00:10:32,996 --> 00:10:35,196 Speaker 3: And then I moved to New York and moved back 215 00:10:35,196 --> 00:10:37,756 Speaker 3: to New York and started going out, and it came 216 00:10:37,796 --> 00:10:39,556 Speaker 3: out very differently when I came. When I got to 217 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:41,996 Speaker 3: New York, it was like I was about it. I 218 00:10:42,036 --> 00:10:45,116 Speaker 3: was just about the art and like all these scenesters 219 00:10:45,236 --> 00:10:47,076 Speaker 3: was around, and that's when I wrote LS Artists. 220 00:10:47,116 --> 00:10:49,396 Speaker 4: I was like, get out of my face. This is 221 00:10:49,436 --> 00:10:50,796 Speaker 4: what I'm here to do, you know. 222 00:10:50,836 --> 00:10:52,676 Speaker 3: And it came out very different, and it was it 223 00:10:52,716 --> 00:10:55,836 Speaker 3: was empowered at that by that point, because sometimes I 224 00:10:55,876 --> 00:10:58,796 Speaker 3: really believe that I think Joni Mitchell said this in 225 00:10:58,796 --> 00:11:01,276 Speaker 3: an interview one time, that you just really need to 226 00:11:01,316 --> 00:11:04,756 Speaker 3: allow your creativity. For me, everybody's not the same, but 227 00:11:04,836 --> 00:11:07,676 Speaker 3: for me, I need to have fallo periods. I need 228 00:11:07,716 --> 00:11:10,956 Speaker 3: to have time where like I make music and then 229 00:11:10,996 --> 00:11:12,836 Speaker 3: I put the music thing away and I do something 230 00:11:12,836 --> 00:11:17,636 Speaker 3: else creative and let let that sort of the nutrients 231 00:11:18,156 --> 00:11:20,636 Speaker 3: come back, you know, because it's all spent after you 232 00:11:20,676 --> 00:11:22,716 Speaker 3: do the record, and you got to wait for life 233 00:11:22,796 --> 00:11:26,076 Speaker 3: to happen and perspectives to change and have something new 234 00:11:26,156 --> 00:11:28,836 Speaker 3: to want to say. And those are foul periods. And 235 00:11:28,876 --> 00:11:32,436 Speaker 3: I'm actually I don't really consider myself like a musician 236 00:11:32,436 --> 00:11:35,076 Speaker 3: as much as I just consider myself an artist, like 237 00:11:35,156 --> 00:11:37,876 Speaker 3: I have so many different ways that I can create 238 00:11:37,956 --> 00:11:40,036 Speaker 3: and that I enjoy creating, and I really don't like 239 00:11:40,076 --> 00:11:42,596 Speaker 3: making music all the time, which is why I think 240 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:44,396 Speaker 3: it takes me a long time to put out records 241 00:11:44,436 --> 00:11:46,036 Speaker 3: because I actually need to do other things. 242 00:11:46,396 --> 00:11:47,916 Speaker 4: And the foul periods are crucial. 243 00:11:48,836 --> 00:11:50,756 Speaker 2: But you never get worried like, oh it's never going 244 00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:51,316 Speaker 2: to come back. 245 00:11:51,356 --> 00:11:52,916 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, everybody does. 246 00:11:52,996 --> 00:11:56,276 Speaker 3: But see what happens is over time is just like 247 00:11:56,836 --> 00:12:00,036 Speaker 3: you learn that all feelings are welcome, and you thank 248 00:12:00,116 --> 00:12:02,516 Speaker 3: your feelings and you say thank you for showing me 249 00:12:03,036 --> 00:12:04,836 Speaker 3: you know that I feel this way about this or 250 00:12:04,836 --> 00:12:07,716 Speaker 3: that I need to make this change. And with that 251 00:12:07,996 --> 00:12:10,396 Speaker 3: you just kind of recognize you don't. You don't hold 252 00:12:10,436 --> 00:12:11,916 Speaker 3: on to cling to the feeling and be like is 253 00:12:11,956 --> 00:12:13,796 Speaker 3: this ever gonna go away? You just let it flow, right, 254 00:12:14,196 --> 00:12:16,316 Speaker 3: you know. And it's the same thing with moments of 255 00:12:16,356 --> 00:12:20,036 Speaker 3: feeling uncreative or blocked. You just say, Okay, thank you 256 00:12:20,036 --> 00:12:21,716 Speaker 3: for letting me know I need to do something else 257 00:12:21,876 --> 00:12:24,636 Speaker 3: or go do something inspiring, and you don't cling to 258 00:12:24,676 --> 00:12:26,076 Speaker 3: it like this is never gonna go You just let 259 00:12:26,076 --> 00:12:27,156 Speaker 3: it flow and it goes away. 260 00:12:28,116 --> 00:12:28,916 Speaker 4: You don't panic. 261 00:12:29,556 --> 00:12:31,796 Speaker 3: And I think in the beginning you panic, but then 262 00:12:31,836 --> 00:12:34,796 Speaker 3: as as you as you hit that spot over and 263 00:12:34,836 --> 00:12:36,836 Speaker 3: over and over the years and you're like, okay, like 264 00:12:37,316 --> 00:12:38,676 Speaker 3: the album's gonna go cook. 265 00:12:39,956 --> 00:12:41,916 Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean that that like sounds like something that 266 00:12:41,956 --> 00:12:44,156 Speaker 2: comes with age too. It's like you've been through it 267 00:12:44,276 --> 00:12:46,436 Speaker 2: enough that you know it can be like a cycle. 268 00:12:46,876 --> 00:12:47,396 Speaker 4: Yeah. 269 00:12:47,716 --> 00:12:52,156 Speaker 2: So your debut album came out fifteen years ago this year. 270 00:12:53,196 --> 00:12:54,996 Speaker 4: And that's crazy to me. 271 00:12:55,236 --> 00:12:58,156 Speaker 2: Yeah. So, like, speaking of looking back at your old diaries, 272 00:12:58,236 --> 00:12:59,796 Speaker 2: do you ever listen to the album? 273 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:04,476 Speaker 3: Not often, but I have maybe every like five years once. 274 00:13:05,836 --> 00:13:09,716 Speaker 2: What's your impression of it now? Fifteen years God's good record. 275 00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:13,236 Speaker 3: I honestly, it's for me, I'm one of those people 276 00:13:13,236 --> 00:13:15,756 Speaker 3: like I don't have any tattoos, like for example, right, 277 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:18,196 Speaker 3: because I'm the type of person if I get something 278 00:13:18,556 --> 00:13:21,236 Speaker 3: years later, I will be so mad and hated and 279 00:13:21,316 --> 00:13:23,916 Speaker 3: I'll be like, I can't believe I got this. I 280 00:13:23,916 --> 00:13:25,876 Speaker 3: can't believe I dressed like that. I can't believe I 281 00:13:25,876 --> 00:13:27,636 Speaker 3: had that haircut. I can't believe you know, I can't 282 00:13:27,636 --> 00:13:30,716 Speaker 3: believe I wore that makeup. I look crazy like I'm 283 00:13:30,756 --> 00:13:34,596 Speaker 3: that person. So in music, oh my god, like please, 284 00:13:34,636 --> 00:13:37,316 Speaker 3: I can't listen. I cringe and I just get I'll 285 00:13:37,436 --> 00:13:41,116 Speaker 3: like start sweating listening to something that I did. But 286 00:13:41,316 --> 00:13:44,036 Speaker 3: I will say that record, I never feel like that 287 00:13:44,076 --> 00:13:46,396 Speaker 3: way about And that's really telling, Like I really like 288 00:13:46,476 --> 00:13:47,036 Speaker 3: that record. 289 00:13:47,716 --> 00:13:49,596 Speaker 2: I wanted to ask you about L. E. S Rtist 290 00:13:49,716 --> 00:13:51,876 Speaker 2: Uh huh. You wrote that after moving to New York 291 00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,916 Speaker 2: from Philly, and was that sort of like a response 292 00:13:54,956 --> 00:13:57,956 Speaker 2: to the scene that was already happening in New York. 293 00:13:58,916 --> 00:14:02,236 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was more a response to me being a 294 00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:06,156 Speaker 3: complete introvert and going out but not being one hundred 295 00:14:06,156 --> 00:14:08,876 Speaker 3: percent ready to feel that energy. And it was very 296 00:14:09,956 --> 00:14:13,676 Speaker 3: see me and like, yes, kind of in the worst 297 00:14:13,716 --> 00:14:16,596 Speaker 3: way that I don't like where everyone's like, you know, 298 00:14:16,636 --> 00:14:18,476 Speaker 3: I literally say everything I thought in the song. 299 00:14:18,556 --> 00:14:21,676 Speaker 4: So it was everybody just looking at you and trying. 300 00:14:21,436 --> 00:14:23,916 Speaker 3: To get you to look at them and trying to, 301 00:14:24,436 --> 00:14:26,716 Speaker 3: you know, figure you out if they needed to know 302 00:14:26,796 --> 00:14:28,876 Speaker 3: you or not, you know what I mean. It was 303 00:14:28,876 --> 00:14:31,516 Speaker 3: just it was too much for me because I was 304 00:14:31,556 --> 00:14:34,436 Speaker 3: literally just coming out of like man, I was so 305 00:14:34,636 --> 00:14:37,436 Speaker 3: I was so raw that in that moment, I just 306 00:14:37,556 --> 00:14:40,916 Speaker 3: my dad had just died and it was like crazy 307 00:14:41,356 --> 00:14:44,796 Speaker 3: flip of my whole world, you know, and I was 308 00:14:44,876 --> 00:14:48,276 Speaker 3: just barely ready to even be doing anything and then 309 00:14:48,316 --> 00:14:51,076 Speaker 3: to step right back into Lower East Side at that time. 310 00:14:51,596 --> 00:14:54,836 Speaker 4: It was overwhelming. And that's what I was writing about. 311 00:14:54,756 --> 00:14:59,716 Speaker 3: Just being really overwhelmed, but being also very much about 312 00:14:59,756 --> 00:15:03,236 Speaker 3: stepping into that power that we discussed, and that clarity 313 00:15:03,396 --> 00:15:08,316 Speaker 3: and that like that determination to like really make something important, 314 00:15:08,596 --> 00:15:12,436 Speaker 3: but also contending with the noise and the kind of 315 00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:16,436 Speaker 3: bullshit and which is part of the music world and 316 00:15:16,596 --> 00:15:18,836 Speaker 3: you know, social world, music world, the world. 317 00:15:19,516 --> 00:15:22,836 Speaker 4: And I still don't like all that stuff very much. 318 00:15:22,836 --> 00:15:24,516 Speaker 3: And I'm still a total interpret I get like, I 319 00:15:24,516 --> 00:15:25,716 Speaker 3: have total social anxiety. 320 00:15:26,236 --> 00:15:28,156 Speaker 4: But you would never know unless I told. 321 00:15:27,956 --> 00:15:30,196 Speaker 2: You, you know, it's yeah, no, it doesn't seem like it, 322 00:15:30,316 --> 00:15:30,876 Speaker 2: and it's weird. 323 00:15:30,916 --> 00:15:33,236 Speaker 4: It comes in times like I have no anxiety about being. 324 00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:36,076 Speaker 2: On stage that I don't understand. 325 00:15:35,996 --> 00:15:36,796 Speaker 4: Well because it's fun. 326 00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:39,756 Speaker 3: It's like I mean, sometimes it's not fun at all, 327 00:15:39,836 --> 00:15:41,916 Speaker 3: like when I'm having sound problems, which is like fifty 328 00:15:41,956 --> 00:15:44,356 Speaker 3: percent of the time, it's actually a nightmare. Or there's 329 00:15:44,396 --> 00:15:46,836 Speaker 3: also like all kinds of crises that happen as a 330 00:15:46,876 --> 00:15:47,676 Speaker 3: touring artist. 331 00:15:48,476 --> 00:15:49,196 Speaker 4: It's not fun. 332 00:15:49,396 --> 00:15:51,996 Speaker 3: But actually when things are going well and I just 333 00:15:52,036 --> 00:15:55,316 Speaker 3: get to sing and be fun on stage, that's fun. 334 00:15:55,556 --> 00:15:58,676 Speaker 3: And I don't have problems like speaking to crowds or 335 00:15:58,716 --> 00:16:02,716 Speaker 3: anything like that. It's more like little stuff like when 336 00:16:02,756 --> 00:16:05,116 Speaker 3: I'm required to give energy in moments. 337 00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:06,076 Speaker 4: That I don't want to give energy. 338 00:16:06,636 --> 00:16:11,036 Speaker 3: Yeah, small talk I hate, or like meeting people that 339 00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:14,716 Speaker 3: I don't really feel like meeting people like stuff like 340 00:16:14,716 --> 00:16:16,356 Speaker 3: that causes me. 341 00:16:16,436 --> 00:16:17,796 Speaker 4: So it's really the energy. 342 00:16:17,916 --> 00:16:20,596 Speaker 3: I don't have enough energy to just give give give 343 00:16:20,716 --> 00:16:23,716 Speaker 3: all the time, So it actually causes me anxiety to 344 00:16:23,756 --> 00:16:25,476 Speaker 3: have to show up and give energy when I don't 345 00:16:25,476 --> 00:16:25,956 Speaker 3: want to. 346 00:16:26,116 --> 00:16:29,356 Speaker 2: Because it's training. How does that work when you're meeting 347 00:16:29,476 --> 00:16:34,356 Speaker 2: like parents of your kids, friends or school situations. 348 00:16:34,516 --> 00:16:36,996 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's when I have it. It's a lot of that. 349 00:16:37,556 --> 00:16:39,756 Speaker 3: I remember last year around this time, it was like 350 00:16:39,756 --> 00:16:41,796 Speaker 3: the last day of school and my kids school has 351 00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,356 Speaker 3: something called step Up and it's the last day of 352 00:16:43,356 --> 00:16:45,316 Speaker 3: school and the kids sing a song and all the parents, 353 00:16:45,396 --> 00:16:48,476 Speaker 3: if the whole school has to come And I walked 354 00:16:48,476 --> 00:16:51,236 Speaker 3: in there and I almost started crying because I just 355 00:16:51,396 --> 00:16:53,796 Speaker 3: I was like, I don't feel like doing this right now. 356 00:16:54,276 --> 00:16:56,476 Speaker 3: It was like whatever was going on, I was already 357 00:16:56,476 --> 00:16:59,276 Speaker 3: super stressed out. Everybody had a mask, and I got 358 00:16:59,276 --> 00:17:01,876 Speaker 3: confused about one of the moms and I introduced her 359 00:17:01,876 --> 00:17:09,636 Speaker 3: to our husband as someone else. Lock. 360 00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:12,836 Speaker 2: Miss, that's so awkward. 361 00:17:13,276 --> 00:17:15,916 Speaker 4: I know, it's funny. 362 00:17:17,836 --> 00:17:20,356 Speaker 2: Yeah, those situations are so hard, but it's so interesting 363 00:17:20,356 --> 00:17:22,516 Speaker 2: that you could be comfortable on stage. And I was 364 00:17:22,556 --> 00:17:25,596 Speaker 2: thinking about that watching your tiny Desk because you did 365 00:17:25,636 --> 00:17:28,596 Speaker 2: so much talking in it, and I was nervous for you, 366 00:17:29,196 --> 00:17:31,236 Speaker 2: like I was projecting my own stuff on you, and 367 00:17:31,236 --> 00:17:33,596 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my gosh, oh what is she gonna say? 368 00:17:34,556 --> 00:17:36,836 Speaker 2: And you were so good, and you were so collected, 369 00:17:37,236 --> 00:17:40,116 Speaker 2: and you were eloquent, and you like were on top 370 00:17:40,156 --> 00:17:41,156 Speaker 2: of what you were saying. 371 00:17:41,676 --> 00:17:44,836 Speaker 3: Well, it was really hard that day because I was 372 00:17:44,916 --> 00:17:48,236 Speaker 3: told before I got there that there was a possibility 373 00:17:48,556 --> 00:17:51,036 Speaker 3: that you could amplify your voice a little bit. 374 00:17:51,956 --> 00:17:54,516 Speaker 4: I was misinformed, and so when I. 375 00:17:54,476 --> 00:17:57,276 Speaker 3: Got there, I was like, oh, I'll do a kind 376 00:17:57,276 --> 00:18:02,516 Speaker 3: of punky set because it's all unamplified, like there's no effects, 377 00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:03,956 Speaker 3: and I thought it was like as raw as it 378 00:18:03,996 --> 00:18:07,116 Speaker 3: could be. But it's really hard to hear yourself over 379 00:18:07,516 --> 00:18:10,676 Speaker 3: loud guitars and you know, and also in my songs, 380 00:18:10,676 --> 00:18:13,916 Speaker 3: I switch voices so much. That's what makes it really 381 00:18:13,956 --> 00:18:15,796 Speaker 3: hard when you're going from a softwaice to a loud 382 00:18:15,836 --> 00:18:17,916 Speaker 3: voice and then right back to a soft voice, because 383 00:18:18,476 --> 00:18:21,996 Speaker 3: if your sound isn't good enough, if you're yelling over 384 00:18:22,076 --> 00:18:24,036 Speaker 3: some instruments and then try to go back to the softways, 385 00:18:24,076 --> 00:18:28,356 Speaker 3: your softwaice doesn't come back nicely. It's like you scream 386 00:18:28,436 --> 00:18:30,796 Speaker 3: and you've kind of shot out your voice, you know, 387 00:18:30,956 --> 00:18:33,276 Speaker 3: and then you can't hit the soft which happened to 388 00:18:33,316 --> 00:18:35,196 Speaker 3: me on that performance quite. 389 00:18:35,036 --> 00:18:35,756 Speaker 4: A few times. 390 00:18:36,396 --> 00:18:39,076 Speaker 3: And I just had it like no, thank God, because 391 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,436 Speaker 3: I was just going with it and I was just 392 00:18:40,476 --> 00:18:44,236 Speaker 3: doing silly stuff or just like you know, to try 393 00:18:44,276 --> 00:18:46,876 Speaker 3: to just roll with it. But it was hard, and 394 00:18:47,396 --> 00:18:50,116 Speaker 3: what happens is then when you go to speak after 395 00:18:50,236 --> 00:18:53,396 Speaker 3: yelling over stuff, your voice is not your normal voice. 396 00:18:53,436 --> 00:18:55,916 Speaker 3: So I listened to that and when I heard it, 397 00:18:55,956 --> 00:18:58,076 Speaker 3: I was like, oh, my talking voice is compromise, Like 398 00:18:58,156 --> 00:19:01,676 Speaker 3: it was this weird soft voice that's not my normal voice. 399 00:19:01,796 --> 00:19:04,916 Speaker 3: But it was because to be honest, in the I 400 00:19:04,996 --> 00:19:06,716 Speaker 3: was going to do a different song that was too 401 00:19:06,756 --> 00:19:10,676 Speaker 3: hard to do unamplified. So in the rehearsal, I did 402 00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:13,796 Speaker 3: it and shout out my voice before I even started. 403 00:19:14,076 --> 00:19:15,796 Speaker 3: So I did that whole thing with a voice that 404 00:19:15,876 --> 00:19:17,196 Speaker 3: was already kind of messed up. 405 00:19:18,196 --> 00:19:19,876 Speaker 1: We're gonna take a quick break and then come back 406 00:19:19,916 --> 00:19:26,796 Speaker 1: with more from Lea Rose and Santy Gold. We're back 407 00:19:26,836 --> 00:19:29,436 Speaker 1: with more from Lea Rose and Santy Gold. 408 00:19:29,956 --> 00:19:33,196 Speaker 2: When did you start actually messing around with music? Like 409 00:19:33,236 --> 00:19:35,596 Speaker 2: how did that evolve for you? Did you go from 410 00:19:35,996 --> 00:19:39,076 Speaker 2: being a fan to try to like tinkering with instruments. 411 00:19:39,516 --> 00:19:40,916 Speaker 2: Did you start writing first? 412 00:19:41,676 --> 00:19:44,596 Speaker 3: I think when I was like nine, I was watching 413 00:19:44,636 --> 00:19:49,676 Speaker 3: break In one day and they were like making a 414 00:19:49,716 --> 00:19:52,636 Speaker 3: community center performance and it was like I was like, 415 00:19:52,676 --> 00:19:54,556 Speaker 3: I want to write a song. And I wrote a 416 00:19:54,596 --> 00:20:00,116 Speaker 3: song called City Streets. I sang it on another podcast 417 00:20:00,156 --> 00:20:02,196 Speaker 3: with Tariq with Black Thought. We both sang out like 418 00:20:02,276 --> 00:20:05,716 Speaker 3: early songs, like one verse, not even it was like 419 00:20:05,716 --> 00:20:07,596 Speaker 3: a chorus. But I was like, I want to I 420 00:20:07,596 --> 00:20:10,876 Speaker 3: want to write a song, you know. And then shortly 421 00:20:10,916 --> 00:20:13,716 Speaker 3: after that, I wanted to write raps. I was really 422 00:20:13,756 --> 00:20:17,036 Speaker 3: in a rap. I was listening to really, really all 423 00:20:17,156 --> 00:20:18,916 Speaker 3: kinds of rap. I remember being really in a two 424 00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:21,516 Speaker 3: live crew when I was eleven and writing down all 425 00:20:21,556 --> 00:20:23,916 Speaker 3: the lyrics and then telling everybody in the neighborhood. 426 00:20:24,956 --> 00:20:26,716 Speaker 2: I used to write down lyrics too. I think that's 427 00:20:26,716 --> 00:20:27,156 Speaker 2: a thing. 428 00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:30,236 Speaker 3: Set you were winding set. I remember ello cool Ja, 429 00:20:30,356 --> 00:20:31,876 Speaker 3: I Need Love. I had to do all the words. 430 00:20:31,916 --> 00:20:33,516 Speaker 3: I wrote down, every single word. 431 00:20:33,676 --> 00:20:34,356 Speaker 2: So sensual. 432 00:20:34,556 --> 00:20:37,436 Speaker 4: So I mean, I don't know why I like that 433 00:20:37,556 --> 00:20:38,196 Speaker 4: song so much. 434 00:20:38,676 --> 00:20:43,596 Speaker 3: But in the process of writing down lyrics, like transcribing lyrics, 435 00:20:43,636 --> 00:20:46,076 Speaker 3: and I guess I was just like kind of in 436 00:20:46,116 --> 00:20:48,356 Speaker 3: a way, you're studying when you're doing that, right. And 437 00:20:48,396 --> 00:20:51,276 Speaker 3: then by the time I was like twelve or thirteen, 438 00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:53,676 Speaker 3: I was just writing raps and I wanted to be like, 439 00:20:54,236 --> 00:20:56,156 Speaker 3: you know, Salt and Peppa or Queen the Tea for somebody. 440 00:20:56,116 --> 00:20:58,396 Speaker 3: I didn't want to actually be a professional. I just 441 00:20:58,396 --> 00:21:00,796 Speaker 3: wanted to be able to. I was like what we 442 00:21:00,836 --> 00:21:02,996 Speaker 3: called the tomboy back then, Like there was not a 443 00:21:02,996 --> 00:21:03,356 Speaker 3: lot of. 444 00:21:03,316 --> 00:21:06,836 Speaker 4: Girls who were that into that. 445 00:21:07,276 --> 00:21:10,076 Speaker 3: And I like being able to hang hang with the 446 00:21:10,076 --> 00:21:14,236 Speaker 3: boys and be able to surprise everybody by how I could. 447 00:21:13,996 --> 00:21:14,676 Speaker 4: Do it, you know. 448 00:21:14,716 --> 00:21:17,036 Speaker 3: So I totally try to freestyle and stuff. I was 449 00:21:17,036 --> 00:21:19,196 Speaker 3: never very good at freestyle, but I was better than 450 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:20,356 Speaker 3: some of the guys that would do it. So. 451 00:21:20,716 --> 00:21:21,076 Speaker 2: Yeah. 452 00:21:21,236 --> 00:21:25,116 Speaker 3: Then by the time I was about fifteen, well, I 453 00:21:25,116 --> 00:21:28,796 Speaker 3: started taking guitar lessons first, and I would practice like 454 00:21:28,956 --> 00:21:31,116 Speaker 3: Led Zeppelin and Jimmy Hendrix and stuff. 455 00:21:31,556 --> 00:21:33,996 Speaker 4: I would never practice, though. I would practice a little. 456 00:21:33,796 --> 00:21:35,676 Speaker 3: Bit when I was like maybe fourteen or fifteen, but 457 00:21:35,996 --> 00:21:38,916 Speaker 3: I never I cannot play any instruments right now. I'm 458 00:21:38,916 --> 00:21:41,236 Speaker 3: so bad at instruments, but I just will never practice. 459 00:21:41,236 --> 00:21:43,596 Speaker 3: I'm not a practicer of instruments. Yeah, I'm not a 460 00:21:43,596 --> 00:21:47,396 Speaker 3: practicer of anything really. Well that's not true. But I 461 00:21:47,436 --> 00:21:50,356 Speaker 3: don't practice. I just do it often, you see what 462 00:21:50,356 --> 00:21:51,996 Speaker 3: I'm saying. So it's not like I'm going to sit 463 00:21:52,036 --> 00:21:54,076 Speaker 3: and practice. I just schedule it so that I have 464 00:21:54,156 --> 00:21:55,076 Speaker 3: to do it often. 465 00:21:55,516 --> 00:21:56,636 Speaker 2: Just think about it differently. 466 00:21:56,876 --> 00:21:59,596 Speaker 3: Yeah, But so I played a little electric guitar. I 467 00:21:59,636 --> 00:22:01,996 Speaker 3: took that for like maybe four years total. I took 468 00:22:02,036 --> 00:22:03,956 Speaker 3: it in college a little while. I played hand drums. 469 00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:09,796 Speaker 3: In college, I studied traditional Ghanaian drumming and hayesh and 470 00:22:10,116 --> 00:22:13,876 Speaker 3: a little Cuban and I actually gave hand drumming lessons 471 00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:17,916 Speaker 3: in college. Wow, And that definitely informed my sense of 472 00:22:17,956 --> 00:22:20,156 Speaker 3: like rhythm and syncopation and stuff like that. 473 00:22:20,796 --> 00:22:21,596 Speaker 4: And then as I. 474 00:22:21,556 --> 00:22:24,956 Speaker 3: Got older, I got into I chose bass over guitar. 475 00:22:24,996 --> 00:22:26,636 Speaker 3: And now not to say that I can really play bass, 476 00:22:26,636 --> 00:22:29,396 Speaker 3: but bass is just easier for me. And I write 477 00:22:29,396 --> 00:22:31,796 Speaker 3: on instruments, so that's the thing I can pick up, 478 00:22:32,196 --> 00:22:35,076 Speaker 3: you know. Obviously a keyboard. I can write on guitar, 479 00:22:35,796 --> 00:22:38,676 Speaker 3: I can write on bass, and I can write drum parts. 480 00:22:38,676 --> 00:22:40,396 Speaker 3: I can write horn parts, you know what I mean. 481 00:22:40,436 --> 00:22:42,276 Speaker 3: I could just I write in my head. I'll wake 482 00:22:42,356 --> 00:22:45,156 Speaker 3: up with a whole bassline that I can't play and 483 00:22:45,196 --> 00:22:47,076 Speaker 3: be like, I'll just sing it and be like, play this, 484 00:22:47,796 --> 00:22:48,156 Speaker 3: you know. 485 00:22:48,276 --> 00:22:50,076 Speaker 2: And how do you do? It's original and it's not 486 00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:53,156 Speaker 2: something that's like stored in your subconscious. 487 00:22:53,196 --> 00:22:55,516 Speaker 4: Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I have to ask a whole 488 00:22:55,516 --> 00:22:57,116 Speaker 4: lot of people, have you heard this before? 489 00:22:57,916 --> 00:22:59,996 Speaker 3: I remember when I did the song with the Beastie 490 00:22:59,996 --> 00:23:03,916 Speaker 3: Boys Don't Play No Game, I swore that was an original. 491 00:23:03,996 --> 00:23:06,636 Speaker 3: I was like, nobody's heard this before, nobody's heard and 492 00:23:06,636 --> 00:23:10,876 Speaker 3: everyone's like no. But sometimes it's just so weird the 493 00:23:10,956 --> 00:23:14,356 Speaker 3: place that things come from. For me, honestly, a lot 494 00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:16,916 Speaker 3: of things come in between being awaken the sleep. 495 00:23:17,276 --> 00:23:18,716 Speaker 4: That's where a lot of my ideas come. 496 00:23:18,956 --> 00:23:22,716 Speaker 3: I get a lot of visions, I've had prophetic dreams, 497 00:23:23,196 --> 00:23:26,636 Speaker 3: but a lot of my creative stuff comes during between 498 00:23:26,676 --> 00:23:27,556 Speaker 3: sleep and waking. 499 00:23:28,556 --> 00:23:30,836 Speaker 2: So do you keep a journal by like on your 500 00:23:30,836 --> 00:23:32,116 Speaker 2: bedside table. 501 00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:35,116 Speaker 4: I don't really keep a journal anymore. 502 00:23:35,396 --> 00:23:37,356 Speaker 3: It was like for about ten or fifteen years, like 503 00:23:37,356 --> 00:23:39,516 Speaker 3: probably from about fifteen to twenty five that I really 504 00:23:39,596 --> 00:23:40,236 Speaker 3: kept a journal. 505 00:23:40,676 --> 00:23:42,516 Speaker 4: And then I. 506 00:23:42,476 --> 00:23:44,236 Speaker 3: Think when my life got really busy and I was 507 00:23:44,236 --> 00:23:47,596 Speaker 3: doing a lot of writing for a career, I stopped 508 00:23:48,596 --> 00:23:50,716 Speaker 3: and I missed it. But there's no way now I 509 00:23:50,716 --> 00:23:51,596 Speaker 3: could keep a journal. 510 00:23:51,916 --> 00:23:52,476 Speaker 4: But what I do. 511 00:23:52,596 --> 00:23:54,756 Speaker 3: I mean, I have so much creative writing in my 512 00:23:54,836 --> 00:23:58,436 Speaker 3: life now that I think that if you listen to 513 00:23:58,476 --> 00:24:01,596 Speaker 3: any of my albums, they are a journal of exactly 514 00:24:01,676 --> 00:24:05,516 Speaker 3: what I was going through. And then in my lyric 515 00:24:05,596 --> 00:24:09,996 Speaker 3: books you'll find an occasional poem or occasional journal or 516 00:24:10,076 --> 00:24:12,916 Speaker 3: when I was touring. Actually, I would try to keep 517 00:24:12,956 --> 00:24:16,236 Speaker 3: a journal sometimes, Like I remember one time flying from 518 00:24:16,276 --> 00:24:19,556 Speaker 3: Australia back to the States and there being no television 519 00:24:19,596 --> 00:24:21,916 Speaker 3: on the airplane. I have no idea why, but I 520 00:24:22,596 --> 00:24:25,916 Speaker 3: journaled for like twelve hours. I wrote down my entire trip, 521 00:24:25,916 --> 00:24:27,876 Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Like, so I'll do it 522 00:24:27,916 --> 00:24:31,396 Speaker 3: in odd moments, but I don't. But if there's something 523 00:24:31,476 --> 00:24:33,516 Speaker 3: that hits and I know I need to write it down, 524 00:24:33,676 --> 00:24:35,436 Speaker 3: like I will, I will find a book and write 525 00:24:35,436 --> 00:24:35,676 Speaker 3: it down. 526 00:24:36,196 --> 00:24:39,036 Speaker 2: M Yeah, it sounds like it's really important. It's like 527 00:24:39,036 --> 00:24:40,636 Speaker 2: a common thread throughout your life. 528 00:24:40,836 --> 00:24:42,396 Speaker 4: Yeah, it is. It is. 529 00:24:42,436 --> 00:24:44,836 Speaker 3: And also just going back and reading some of my 530 00:24:44,876 --> 00:24:47,796 Speaker 3: journals from I was little, it just it's interesting on 531 00:24:47,916 --> 00:24:51,476 Speaker 3: how it helps form the way that I think about things, 532 00:24:51,516 --> 00:24:52,916 Speaker 3: or the way that I talk about things. 533 00:24:52,876 --> 00:24:56,716 Speaker 4: Or the way I kind of mull over ideas and I'm. 534 00:24:56,516 --> 00:25:00,236 Speaker 3: So detailed and like it's great that I could talk 535 00:25:00,276 --> 00:25:01,956 Speaker 3: to myself in that way, you know. 536 00:25:02,236 --> 00:25:02,956 Speaker 1: Yeah. 537 00:25:03,076 --> 00:25:05,876 Speaker 2: So when you were starting to get into music and starting, 538 00:25:06,036 --> 00:25:09,076 Speaker 2: you know, like taking your guitar lessons, were your parents 539 00:25:09,116 --> 00:25:10,356 Speaker 2: supportive of that? 540 00:25:11,396 --> 00:25:13,756 Speaker 3: Yeah, they didn't care much about my guitar lessons and 541 00:25:13,796 --> 00:25:16,076 Speaker 3: actually they helped me. Like I got it in SP 542 00:25:16,116 --> 00:25:18,836 Speaker 3: twelve hundred when I was about fifteen, and they let 543 00:25:18,876 --> 00:25:22,516 Speaker 3: me get that, and they my dad was super into music, 544 00:25:22,636 --> 00:25:25,036 Speaker 3: like he's the one who got me into music. He 545 00:25:25,156 --> 00:25:28,436 Speaker 3: had the best music collection and encouraged us to collect 546 00:25:28,516 --> 00:25:32,036 Speaker 3: music very early. My sister had an amazing record collection 547 00:25:32,116 --> 00:25:33,916 Speaker 3: by the time she was fourteen, which was great because 548 00:25:33,916 --> 00:25:37,876 Speaker 3: it's my dad had like every black music ever made 549 00:25:38,276 --> 00:25:42,836 Speaker 3: and from like whether it's Jamaican, African American, like he 550 00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:44,876 Speaker 3: had everything. But then my sister took it further and 551 00:25:44,916 --> 00:25:49,196 Speaker 3: she had like rock and punk and fun Boy three 552 00:25:49,356 --> 00:25:50,916 Speaker 3: and Suzanne Vega. 553 00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:53,156 Speaker 4: And like, you know, just like weird stuff that my. 554 00:25:53,196 --> 00:25:55,516 Speaker 3: Dad never would have listened to, the Smiths and you know, 555 00:25:55,516 --> 00:25:59,076 Speaker 3: stuff like that. So I got all this amazing music 556 00:25:59,196 --> 00:26:01,116 Speaker 3: education before I was even eleven years old. 557 00:26:01,356 --> 00:26:02,716 Speaker 2: And then my met your older sister. 558 00:26:02,916 --> 00:26:04,876 Speaker 3: Yeah, she's like three years older than me, and she 559 00:26:05,036 --> 00:26:07,156 Speaker 3: was going to Bad Brain shows when I was twelve 560 00:26:07,196 --> 00:26:07,916 Speaker 3: and coming back. 561 00:26:07,836 --> 00:26:09,596 Speaker 4: Dripping, and I was like, who are they? You know? 562 00:26:10,076 --> 00:26:11,436 Speaker 4: And what you know? What is this? 563 00:26:11,556 --> 00:26:14,756 Speaker 3: And I listen and so I just they really taught 564 00:26:14,796 --> 00:26:18,196 Speaker 3: me about music, and my dad took us to see shows, 565 00:26:18,196 --> 00:26:19,476 Speaker 3: like he took me to see James Brown. 566 00:26:19,996 --> 00:26:20,596 Speaker 4: I was too young. 567 00:26:20,596 --> 00:26:22,956 Speaker 3: I don't even remember, but I just I know the 568 00:26:22,996 --> 00:26:24,636 Speaker 3: story that I said Dad was wrong with his leg 569 00:26:24,676 --> 00:26:25,996 Speaker 3: and he said, oh he got sould. 570 00:26:27,276 --> 00:26:29,356 Speaker 4: I know that, Like that's the story. That's the only 571 00:26:29,796 --> 00:26:30,876 Speaker 4: the two line story. 572 00:26:31,876 --> 00:26:33,916 Speaker 3: I went to see Fela Kuti with him when I 573 00:26:33,996 --> 00:26:37,076 Speaker 3: was seven. He took me see Nina Simone Wow. And 574 00:26:37,156 --> 00:26:39,396 Speaker 3: so that exposure. And he used to take us to 575 00:26:39,436 --> 00:26:42,276 Speaker 3: record stores every Saturday and we could choose the record. 576 00:26:42,556 --> 00:26:44,996 Speaker 3: He taught me to buy music and to study music 577 00:26:45,116 --> 00:26:47,076 Speaker 3: kind of, you know, and so he was always. 578 00:26:46,836 --> 00:26:50,236 Speaker 4: Supportive until well. And also he was good. 579 00:26:50,116 --> 00:26:54,116 Speaker 3: Friends with Kenny Gamble from Gamble and Huck from Philly Sound. 580 00:26:54,236 --> 00:26:57,676 Speaker 3: And so I interned with Kenny when I was sixteen, 581 00:26:57,876 --> 00:26:59,316 Speaker 3: and you know, got to know Kenny. And then my 582 00:26:59,356 --> 00:27:02,276 Speaker 3: dad's like, my dad would have never encouraged me to 583 00:27:02,356 --> 00:27:04,676 Speaker 3: be a singer, because I remember one time I was 584 00:27:04,716 --> 00:27:06,756 Speaker 3: like dad and I never wanted to be singing. I 585 00:27:06,756 --> 00:27:08,516 Speaker 3: had a solo when I was fifteen. It was a disaster. 586 00:27:09,116 --> 00:27:11,356 Speaker 3: It was a disaster to me. My mom recently told 587 00:27:11,396 --> 00:27:13,476 Speaker 3: me that it wasn't a disaster like last week. She 588 00:27:13,516 --> 00:27:16,716 Speaker 3: told me it wasn't a disaster. But after the show, 589 00:27:16,756 --> 00:27:18,916 Speaker 3: they said, how did you get the solo? That's all 590 00:27:18,956 --> 00:27:19,556 Speaker 3: they said to me. 591 00:27:20,036 --> 00:27:22,356 Speaker 2: Like a school show, like a like a talent show 592 00:27:22,436 --> 00:27:22,876 Speaker 2: type thing. 593 00:27:22,996 --> 00:27:25,436 Speaker 3: No, it was something I did not sign up for. 594 00:27:26,116 --> 00:27:29,436 Speaker 3: I was in the chorus class and he picked me 595 00:27:29,516 --> 00:27:31,636 Speaker 3: for the solo and I was so upset about it 596 00:27:31,956 --> 00:27:35,516 Speaker 3: because I didn't want the solo and I was too 597 00:27:35,596 --> 00:27:38,196 Speaker 3: nervous to sing in front of people and I was 598 00:27:38,236 --> 00:27:41,796 Speaker 3: like shaking and hiding behind the page, and so it 599 00:27:41,836 --> 00:27:43,996 Speaker 3: was traumatic and I was like, I never ever want 600 00:27:44,036 --> 00:27:45,156 Speaker 3: to sing in front of people again. 601 00:27:45,596 --> 00:27:46,716 Speaker 4: And then and then. 602 00:27:46,716 --> 00:27:49,156 Speaker 3: Because I was so nervous, the feedback was like oh 603 00:27:49,196 --> 00:27:52,556 Speaker 3: that poor girl, or like or like how did you 604 00:27:52,596 --> 00:27:54,436 Speaker 3: get the solo? And I was like, fuck, I'm never 605 00:27:54,516 --> 00:27:56,716 Speaker 3: singing again. So that's what I was carrying with me 606 00:27:56,756 --> 00:27:58,516 Speaker 3: into my music career. And I was like, I think 607 00:27:58,516 --> 00:28:00,756 Speaker 3: I want to own a record company. And so I 608 00:28:00,756 --> 00:28:04,916 Speaker 3: started interning at Sony and then my dad was like, hey, 609 00:28:04,956 --> 00:28:06,716 Speaker 3: why don't you be a songwriter like Kenny? 610 00:28:07,316 --> 00:28:09,636 Speaker 4: And I was like yeah, maybe, and so. 611 00:28:09,876 --> 00:28:14,556 Speaker 3: I started working at Epic Records. Actually after my junior 612 00:28:14,676 --> 00:28:17,836 Speaker 3: year in college, but I finished early and graduated early, 613 00:28:17,916 --> 00:28:21,476 Speaker 3: and I was working at EPIC and I signed Reese 614 00:28:21,516 --> 00:28:23,716 Speaker 3: to a demo deal. So I was like an an 615 00:28:23,796 --> 00:28:25,676 Speaker 3: R assistant and I signed her to a demo deal, 616 00:28:25,836 --> 00:28:26,436 Speaker 3: and I was trying to. 617 00:28:26,756 --> 00:28:29,236 Speaker 2: Was like a big deal for like an an R assistant. 618 00:28:29,356 --> 00:28:30,356 Speaker 4: It was, it was. 619 00:28:30,956 --> 00:28:33,676 Speaker 3: And I was trying to find producers to make music 620 00:28:33,716 --> 00:28:36,196 Speaker 3: that I wanted to be totally different than anything out there, 621 00:28:36,236 --> 00:28:38,436 Speaker 3: and I couldn't really find the right team. 622 00:28:38,516 --> 00:28:40,796 Speaker 4: So I started writing the songs myself and that's what happened. 623 00:28:41,356 --> 00:28:43,556 Speaker 3: And the head of the department, who I was really 624 00:28:43,556 --> 00:28:45,756 Speaker 3: close with, he was just like, it's kind of a 625 00:28:45,796 --> 00:28:49,036 Speaker 3: red flag that you're writing songs yourself, and I was like. 626 00:28:49,156 --> 00:28:51,276 Speaker 4: Yeah, but then he heard him and he's like, actually, 627 00:28:51,276 --> 00:28:51,676 Speaker 4: they're good. 628 00:28:51,716 --> 00:28:53,676 Speaker 3: Does she want to be in groove theory, Like totally 629 00:28:53,676 --> 00:28:55,596 Speaker 3: didn't really get that I was trying to do something 630 00:28:55,636 --> 00:28:56,636 Speaker 3: completely different. 631 00:28:56,636 --> 00:28:57,996 Speaker 4: I didn't want her to be in some like R 632 00:28:58,036 --> 00:29:00,116 Speaker 4: and B group, and so we left. 633 00:29:00,276 --> 00:29:01,796 Speaker 3: I left there by that time, I didn't want to 634 00:29:01,796 --> 00:29:04,156 Speaker 3: work there because everything coming I was in the black 635 00:29:04,236 --> 00:29:04,956 Speaker 3: music department. 636 00:29:05,356 --> 00:29:06,396 Speaker 4: Black music is. 637 00:29:06,316 --> 00:29:10,196 Speaker 3: A very specific set of you know, traits, and none 638 00:29:10,236 --> 00:29:12,436 Speaker 3: of which I was into, and I mean I was into, 639 00:29:12,556 --> 00:29:14,356 Speaker 3: but I want to do something that pushed and that 640 00:29:14,396 --> 00:29:17,316 Speaker 3: didn't fit, and so I was like, let's leave here. 641 00:29:17,396 --> 00:29:20,356 Speaker 3: And I ended up executive producing and writing that record 642 00:29:20,396 --> 00:29:22,516 Speaker 3: and signing her to MCA. 643 00:29:22,876 --> 00:29:24,476 Speaker 4: So those were the first songs. 644 00:29:24,156 --> 00:29:25,756 Speaker 2: That I wrote. I feel like, if that's all you 645 00:29:25,796 --> 00:29:27,476 Speaker 2: did in your career, that would be a big deal. 646 00:29:27,756 --> 00:29:29,516 Speaker 3: It was a big deal, and it was early too. 647 00:29:29,556 --> 00:29:31,676 Speaker 3: I was like, you know, twenty one or something like that. 648 00:29:31,716 --> 00:29:35,196 Speaker 3: But when I started that and it was a crash 649 00:29:35,236 --> 00:29:36,956 Speaker 3: course and a lot of things like dealing with the 650 00:29:37,116 --> 00:29:39,796 Speaker 3: music industry and oh yeah, all kinds of stuff. 651 00:29:40,036 --> 00:29:41,796 Speaker 2: So at that point, you still didn't know you wanted 652 00:29:41,796 --> 00:29:42,516 Speaker 2: to be an artist. 653 00:29:42,716 --> 00:29:44,436 Speaker 3: No, I didn't. I didn't want to be an artist. 654 00:29:44,476 --> 00:29:45,956 Speaker 3: I knew I didn't want to be an artist. When 655 00:29:45,956 --> 00:29:47,756 Speaker 3: I had to show her how to sing a harmony 656 00:29:47,876 --> 00:29:51,916 Speaker 3: or something, I would sing it so bad. And Doc McKinney, 657 00:29:51,916 --> 00:29:56,476 Speaker 3: who he actually produced like The Weekend and stuff, he 658 00:29:56,676 --> 00:29:59,356 Speaker 3: was the he produces Theough back then, which is how 659 00:29:59,356 --> 00:30:01,956 Speaker 3: I found him, and then he ended up doing The 660 00:30:01,956 --> 00:30:02,636 Speaker 3: Weekend now. 661 00:30:02,996 --> 00:30:05,276 Speaker 4: But he used to be like, Sadi, can you just 662 00:30:05,316 --> 00:30:06,196 Speaker 4: sing it for real? 663 00:30:06,756 --> 00:30:09,676 Speaker 3: Because like he I mean everybody had kind of already 664 00:30:09,676 --> 00:30:12,836 Speaker 3: glimpsed that I could actually carry a tune and that 665 00:30:12,956 --> 00:30:15,716 Speaker 3: I was doing it so bad for no reason. And 666 00:30:15,756 --> 00:30:17,116 Speaker 3: he'd be like, can you just can you just sing 667 00:30:17,156 --> 00:30:18,796 Speaker 3: it like the way that it goes, so she can 668 00:30:19,236 --> 00:30:19,916 Speaker 3: as I would. 669 00:30:20,076 --> 00:30:23,316 Speaker 4: And so then after that I was like, well, I 670 00:30:23,356 --> 00:30:25,316 Speaker 4: really didn't. It didn't come out how it was in 671 00:30:25,316 --> 00:30:25,596 Speaker 4: my head. 672 00:30:25,636 --> 00:30:27,156 Speaker 3: So I was like, I'm gonna go start this punk 673 00:30:27,236 --> 00:30:28,956 Speaker 3: band and I'm this sing but I'm never going to 674 00:30:29,036 --> 00:30:29,876 Speaker 3: perform ever. 675 00:30:30,276 --> 00:30:32,196 Speaker 4: That was. That was the next stage. 676 00:30:32,276 --> 00:30:33,756 Speaker 3: I was like, I don't want to stand in people, 677 00:30:34,076 --> 00:30:35,236 Speaker 3: in front of people and sing. 678 00:30:36,156 --> 00:30:38,076 Speaker 2: How did you make that change? Because now you said 679 00:30:38,116 --> 00:30:40,676 Speaker 2: you have no reservations about standing up in front of 680 00:30:40,676 --> 00:30:41,716 Speaker 2: a crowd and performing. 681 00:30:42,516 --> 00:30:44,636 Speaker 3: Well, I did my first show in Philly and I 682 00:30:44,636 --> 00:30:48,516 Speaker 3: only invited my friends, so it was a loving environment. 683 00:30:48,996 --> 00:30:52,636 Speaker 3: I had a reverb pedal that I put my microphone 684 00:30:52,716 --> 00:30:55,356 Speaker 3: through and I was cranking it, cranking it so you 685 00:30:55,356 --> 00:30:57,396 Speaker 3: couldn't really hear what I was doing. I put all 686 00:30:57,436 --> 00:31:00,156 Speaker 3: these effects on it and I was so goofy and 687 00:31:00,196 --> 00:31:03,436 Speaker 3: like we videotaped it and it was like really fun, 688 00:31:04,036 --> 00:31:06,876 Speaker 3: really fun, And so because it was so much fun, 689 00:31:06,996 --> 00:31:08,276 Speaker 3: I was like, I would do this again, So I 690 00:31:08,316 --> 00:31:10,756 Speaker 3: started this night called Clap. Now I had moved to Philly. 691 00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:12,396 Speaker 3: When I wrote the Rece record, I was in New 692 00:31:12,476 --> 00:31:14,276 Speaker 3: York and there was a lot of attention around that 693 00:31:14,396 --> 00:31:17,436 Speaker 3: record and even starting to get attention around me as 694 00:31:17,476 --> 00:31:19,276 Speaker 3: a songwriter. So I moved to Philly to start this 695 00:31:19,356 --> 00:31:22,836 Speaker 3: band away from anybody who knew me as that and 696 00:31:22,876 --> 00:31:24,956 Speaker 3: sort of hit out in Philly while I figured out 697 00:31:24,996 --> 00:31:27,556 Speaker 3: how to sing and write songs for myself. But I 698 00:31:27,596 --> 00:31:29,916 Speaker 3: started a night called the Clap with rich Nichols. 699 00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:30,556 Speaker 4: Who managed the Roots. 700 00:31:31,156 --> 00:31:33,876 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it was like a band night, and we 701 00:31:33,916 --> 00:31:35,476 Speaker 3: had all kinds of people come through, even like my 702 00:31:35,556 --> 00:31:36,956 Speaker 3: Chemical Romance I think did some of. 703 00:31:36,956 --> 00:31:39,436 Speaker 4: Their earliest shows cool. 704 00:31:39,636 --> 00:31:41,836 Speaker 3: And so we would just play every week at this 705 00:31:41,876 --> 00:31:44,196 Speaker 3: place called the Fire in Philly, and I kind of 706 00:31:44,396 --> 00:31:46,116 Speaker 3: got over it. I learned how to use my voice 707 00:31:46,276 --> 00:31:49,116 Speaker 3: as like, do all kinds of fun stuff with my voice, 708 00:31:49,236 --> 00:31:52,876 Speaker 3: and so that I wasn't embarrassed about singing anymore. 709 00:31:53,116 --> 00:31:55,276 Speaker 4: And I will say to this. 710 00:31:55,276 --> 00:31:58,076 Speaker 3: Day performing in my band Stiffed the Punk Stuff was 711 00:31:58,116 --> 00:32:01,076 Speaker 3: the most freeing and fun performances I've ever done in 712 00:32:01,076 --> 00:32:04,476 Speaker 3: my life. Like it was no choreography, no technical like 713 00:32:04,996 --> 00:32:08,916 Speaker 3: you know, no sinking track to vocals and this, no 714 00:32:09,236 --> 00:32:13,396 Speaker 3: dancers like it was just pure free energy. And so 715 00:32:13,556 --> 00:32:17,916 Speaker 3: that was something that I really learned that was so magical, 716 00:32:17,956 --> 00:32:19,396 Speaker 3: and I really I learned. 717 00:32:19,196 --> 00:32:19,916 Speaker 4: That I loved it. 718 00:32:20,316 --> 00:32:24,036 Speaker 3: Yeah, And as far as my parents, there there were 719 00:32:24,076 --> 00:32:29,956 Speaker 3: times between putting out the race record to Stiff where 720 00:32:29,956 --> 00:32:31,836 Speaker 3: my dad was like, Okay, it's been like ten years, 721 00:32:31,876 --> 00:32:32,836 Speaker 3: when are you getting a real job. 722 00:32:32,876 --> 00:32:33,596 Speaker 2: That's what he'd be. 723 00:32:34,396 --> 00:32:38,036 Speaker 3: He would be supportive, like he collected every article for 724 00:32:38,076 --> 00:32:40,556 Speaker 3: Stiff and kept it in a book front center at 725 00:32:40,636 --> 00:32:42,996 Speaker 3: every Stiff show. But then it'd be times where I 726 00:32:43,036 --> 00:32:45,356 Speaker 3: was like broken. He'd be like, when are you getting 727 00:32:45,396 --> 00:32:45,916 Speaker 3: a real job. 728 00:32:46,156 --> 00:32:49,276 Speaker 4: So there was like because he was I think an 729 00:32:49,396 --> 00:32:50,596 Speaker 4: artist at heart, but he didn't. 730 00:32:50,636 --> 00:32:53,076 Speaker 3: My dad's from the projects, and he like, you know, 731 00:32:53,196 --> 00:32:55,556 Speaker 3: he ended up going to like pen law school and 732 00:32:55,996 --> 00:32:58,916 Speaker 3: becoming a lawyer and doing really well for himself, but 733 00:32:58,996 --> 00:33:01,516 Speaker 3: he didn't have the freedom he thought to be an artist, 734 00:33:02,076 --> 00:33:04,516 Speaker 3: economic freedom, and so he was torn because he was 735 00:33:04,556 --> 00:33:07,876 Speaker 3: watching me doing kind of what he probably could have 736 00:33:07,916 --> 00:33:10,916 Speaker 3: been into. But then he also had that part where 737 00:33:10,956 --> 00:33:13,036 Speaker 3: there was like I'm not going to pay your bills 738 00:33:13,076 --> 00:33:15,356 Speaker 3: like you got to pay your bills, like you don't 739 00:33:15,356 --> 00:33:18,036 Speaker 3: get to do this. So and then he passed away 740 00:33:18,076 --> 00:33:22,796 Speaker 3: before before Santy Gold, So I know, but my mom didn't. 741 00:33:22,836 --> 00:33:25,076 Speaker 3: And my mom, I think it's kind of just like fascinated, 742 00:33:25,276 --> 00:33:28,556 Speaker 3: you know. I just I just I mean, she doesn't 743 00:33:28,596 --> 00:33:29,956 Speaker 3: say that much about it, but you can tell she's 744 00:33:30,076 --> 00:33:33,076 Speaker 3: very proud and she's you know, she's kind of she 745 00:33:33,156 --> 00:33:34,836 Speaker 3: never came to the shows like my dad that was 746 00:33:34,876 --> 00:33:38,156 Speaker 3: his thing. My mom came to some My mom came 747 00:33:38,196 --> 00:33:39,036 Speaker 3: to some shows. 748 00:33:39,196 --> 00:33:41,996 Speaker 2: You know. Is it like a personality type difference, like 749 00:33:42,076 --> 00:33:42,836 Speaker 2: less creative. 750 00:33:43,316 --> 00:33:46,876 Speaker 3: Yeah, she's not as creative. She's a psychiatrist. I've been 751 00:33:46,916 --> 00:33:49,476 Speaker 3: interviewing her because I'm actually writing a memoir that goes 752 00:33:49,516 --> 00:33:51,396 Speaker 3: back for generations of women in my family to my 753 00:33:51,436 --> 00:33:52,076 Speaker 3: great grandmother. 754 00:33:52,316 --> 00:33:52,756 Speaker 2: Wow. 755 00:33:52,836 --> 00:33:54,236 Speaker 4: So I've been interviewing my mom a lot. 756 00:33:54,276 --> 00:33:56,596 Speaker 3: And we actually just had a conversation that she used 757 00:33:56,596 --> 00:34:00,116 Speaker 3: to be a musician and in the marching band and 758 00:34:00,156 --> 00:34:04,276 Speaker 3: she could read music and so she actually was into music. 759 00:34:04,996 --> 00:34:07,036 Speaker 3: But we've always been like, oh, mom's not that into 760 00:34:07,116 --> 00:34:08,956 Speaker 3: music because she didn't have a record collection. 761 00:34:09,356 --> 00:34:11,956 Speaker 4: But she's like, well dad had the records that I liked. 762 00:34:12,116 --> 00:34:12,756 Speaker 2: You know what I mean. 763 00:34:13,636 --> 00:34:16,636 Speaker 3: So she is into music, but it's just very different, 764 00:34:16,836 --> 00:34:19,756 Speaker 3: you know, she's not like front and cineature show. 765 00:34:20,236 --> 00:34:22,636 Speaker 2: Has she given you any helpful advice from like a 766 00:34:22,676 --> 00:34:25,396 Speaker 2: psychiatrist perspective about your career? 767 00:34:26,076 --> 00:34:30,196 Speaker 4: No, my mom. No, Everyone's like, what's it like to 768 00:34:30,236 --> 00:34:31,756 Speaker 4: have a psychiatrist? What is it like? 769 00:34:32,156 --> 00:34:35,036 Speaker 3: It's like having a country mom from Mississippi who is 770 00:34:35,196 --> 00:34:37,076 Speaker 3: your mom and totally. 771 00:34:36,676 --> 00:34:40,116 Speaker 4: Not a psychiatrist, you know. 772 00:34:40,236 --> 00:34:41,836 Speaker 3: I mean, my mom is smart, you know, I'm not 773 00:34:41,836 --> 00:34:45,116 Speaker 3: saying that, like she's very smart, and but I don't know, 774 00:34:45,236 --> 00:34:47,516 Speaker 3: just it did not apply to her kids at all. 775 00:34:47,596 --> 00:34:50,916 Speaker 2: Like she doesn't analyze you, No, but. 776 00:34:50,876 --> 00:34:53,756 Speaker 4: I think psychiatry is for her. And her practice was 777 00:34:53,876 --> 00:34:55,036 Speaker 4: very different from psychology. 778 00:34:55,116 --> 00:34:57,796 Speaker 3: So she did a lot of work, especially later in 779 00:34:57,836 --> 00:35:00,996 Speaker 3: her career, she did a lot of like community facing things, 780 00:35:00,996 --> 00:35:02,996 Speaker 3: like she worked in prisons for a couple of years, 781 00:35:03,156 --> 00:35:05,716 Speaker 3: not a couple for several years. She worked in like 782 00:35:05,716 --> 00:35:09,076 Speaker 3: community health centers and really was dealing with like people 783 00:35:09,196 --> 00:35:12,316 Speaker 3: with severe mental illness and medication and stuff like that too. 784 00:35:12,476 --> 00:35:15,836 Speaker 4: Wow, So there wasn't that much of that happening with me. 785 00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:17,116 Speaker 4: For my mom's way. 786 00:35:17,756 --> 00:35:19,876 Speaker 2: That's a heavy job though to come home and have 787 00:35:19,996 --> 00:35:21,596 Speaker 2: to also be a parent. 788 00:35:22,396 --> 00:35:22,716 Speaker 4: Well. 789 00:35:23,116 --> 00:35:25,516 Speaker 3: Even crazier, my mom went to medical school after she 790 00:35:25,556 --> 00:35:26,276 Speaker 3: had three kids. 791 00:35:26,516 --> 00:35:26,836 Speaker 2: Wow. 792 00:35:26,996 --> 00:35:29,276 Speaker 3: When I was in first grade, my mom started medical school. 793 00:35:29,436 --> 00:35:31,916 Speaker 3: So she did four years of medical school and four 794 00:35:31,996 --> 00:35:34,076 Speaker 3: years of residency while raising three children. 795 00:35:34,156 --> 00:35:34,876 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 796 00:35:35,196 --> 00:35:37,196 Speaker 4: Yeah, it was it was a lot, for sure. 797 00:35:37,516 --> 00:35:39,956 Speaker 2: It's interesting that your mom had three and you have three. 798 00:35:40,316 --> 00:35:42,196 Speaker 3: I know, and I kind of wanted three too, but 799 00:35:42,476 --> 00:35:43,836 Speaker 3: I didn't think I was going to have three because 800 00:35:43,836 --> 00:35:44,796 Speaker 3: I had kids pretty late. 801 00:35:45,236 --> 00:35:46,876 Speaker 4: But then I had twins and it. 802 00:35:46,796 --> 00:35:52,156 Speaker 3: Was kind of twins, like, I don't know, man, it's 803 00:35:52,276 --> 00:35:54,196 Speaker 3: kind of like being in a blender. 804 00:35:55,036 --> 00:35:56,836 Speaker 4: Oh. 805 00:35:57,236 --> 00:35:59,316 Speaker 2: I've just been thinking about for like a lot of 806 00:35:59,396 --> 00:36:03,436 Speaker 2: us like when we were kids, Like we were just 807 00:36:03,556 --> 00:36:06,476 Speaker 2: left alone so much more. And you say, you know, 808 00:36:06,596 --> 00:36:09,836 Speaker 2: your your mom had three kids, she was in school school, 809 00:36:10,476 --> 00:36:12,556 Speaker 2: and there's something to be said about that because you 810 00:36:12,636 --> 00:36:14,276 Speaker 2: become so much more self reliant. 811 00:36:15,356 --> 00:36:19,876 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's something great about making your kids figure things 812 00:36:19,876 --> 00:36:23,636 Speaker 3: out on their own, yeah, and do things for themselves. 813 00:36:23,796 --> 00:36:24,236 Speaker 2: Yeah. 814 00:36:24,316 --> 00:36:27,396 Speaker 3: Where I'm so glad that that I had the experiences 815 00:36:27,396 --> 00:36:29,756 Speaker 3: of like having to figure things out, because I did. 816 00:36:29,836 --> 00:36:32,196 Speaker 3: I did figure them out, and I'm very capable now, 817 00:36:32,236 --> 00:36:34,636 Speaker 3: and I think when I think the way that we 818 00:36:34,796 --> 00:36:38,036 Speaker 3: parent now or that you know, it's sort of it's 819 00:36:38,076 --> 00:36:42,756 Speaker 3: like trying to make everything so nice and smooth and easy, 820 00:36:42,796 --> 00:36:45,836 Speaker 3: but like adversity really does build character. 821 00:36:46,876 --> 00:36:48,836 Speaker 1: We have to take one last quick break and then 822 00:36:48,876 --> 00:36:51,956 Speaker 1: we'll come back with more from Lea Rose and Santy Gold. 823 00:36:56,236 --> 00:36:58,996 Speaker 1: We're back with the rest of Leo Rose's conversation with 824 00:36:59,396 --> 00:37:00,076 Speaker 1: Santy Gold. 825 00:37:01,276 --> 00:37:03,156 Speaker 2: I was thinking about it because I was listening to an 826 00:37:03,156 --> 00:37:07,356 Speaker 2: interview with some young artists and I just wasn't feeling 827 00:37:08,156 --> 00:37:12,276 Speaker 2: the edge and the grit from them, and I was like, 828 00:37:12,316 --> 00:37:15,356 Speaker 2: I think it's because all these kids were overparented. 829 00:37:16,116 --> 00:37:16,596 Speaker 4: I don't know. 830 00:37:16,716 --> 00:37:20,036 Speaker 3: I mean, there's so many terrible parents out there, and 831 00:37:20,076 --> 00:37:22,356 Speaker 3: there's so many people who were not overparented, who were 832 00:37:22,516 --> 00:37:28,356 Speaker 3: just totally neglected and abused and didn't have anybody too, 833 00:37:28,636 --> 00:37:30,716 Speaker 3: you know. So there's so many there's such a vast 834 00:37:30,716 --> 00:37:35,956 Speaker 3: spectrum of the parenting that people received. And I think 835 00:37:35,996 --> 00:37:39,356 Speaker 3: that if I were to say was wrong with art 836 00:37:39,436 --> 00:37:41,756 Speaker 3: and artists today, it would have more to do with 837 00:37:42,036 --> 00:37:47,916 Speaker 3: values and social media and the idea that you can 838 00:37:48,036 --> 00:37:52,596 Speaker 3: have overnight success for no talent, and that there's no 839 00:37:52,716 --> 00:37:55,956 Speaker 3: dues paying and that you are entitled to whatever. Somebody 840 00:37:55,956 --> 00:37:59,236 Speaker 3: who's worked for twenty years should be yours instantly. I 841 00:37:59,276 --> 00:38:04,796 Speaker 3: think that that has created a generation of entitlement and 842 00:38:04,956 --> 00:38:09,316 Speaker 3: also the values, like people don't value art, So art 843 00:38:09,396 --> 00:38:12,556 Speaker 3: is going to change because even. 844 00:38:12,356 --> 00:38:13,996 Speaker 4: For me, honestly, like. 845 00:38:15,516 --> 00:38:16,996 Speaker 3: I hate to say it, but I don't really give 846 00:38:16,996 --> 00:38:19,356 Speaker 3: a fuck anymore right now, right now today, I'm going 847 00:38:19,436 --> 00:38:21,876 Speaker 3: to tell you that the effort that I put into 848 00:38:21,916 --> 00:38:25,476 Speaker 3: my art is undervalued, and I don't really want to 849 00:38:25,476 --> 00:38:27,996 Speaker 3: put that effort in anymore. That's where I'm at, and 850 00:38:28,036 --> 00:38:30,196 Speaker 3: I think that that's what's going to continue to happen 851 00:38:30,556 --> 00:38:33,116 Speaker 3: because it's so hard to make a living at it, 852 00:38:33,116 --> 00:38:36,516 Speaker 3: it's so hard to connect with the people who actually 853 00:38:36,556 --> 00:38:40,436 Speaker 3: appreciate it, and it takes too much time. As a mother, 854 00:38:40,596 --> 00:38:43,916 Speaker 3: I'm like, actually, I spent all this time and energy 855 00:38:43,996 --> 00:38:46,596 Speaker 3: last time, and it didn't really do what it needed 856 00:38:46,636 --> 00:38:47,836 Speaker 3: to do for me to be for it to be 857 00:38:47,876 --> 00:38:49,876 Speaker 3: worth it for me to do it again. So I 858 00:38:49,876 --> 00:38:52,516 Speaker 3: probably won't do that again for you know that album, 859 00:38:52,556 --> 00:38:53,316 Speaker 3: for my last. 860 00:38:53,076 --> 00:38:54,356 Speaker 4: Couple albums, you know what I mean. 861 00:38:54,356 --> 00:38:58,476 Speaker 3: I'm just saying, like, what the system has become, the 862 00:38:58,516 --> 00:39:02,276 Speaker 3: way that we profit off of our art, the expectation 863 00:39:02,436 --> 00:39:09,036 Speaker 3: of constant output, constant product, the amount of hustle that 864 00:39:09,116 --> 00:39:11,996 Speaker 3: we have to do to make money, not from the 865 00:39:12,156 --> 00:39:13,876 Speaker 3: art that we make, but from doing other stuff that 866 00:39:13,876 --> 00:39:16,276 Speaker 3: has nothing to do with making the art. As artists, 867 00:39:16,836 --> 00:39:19,716 Speaker 3: it's discouraging and it is a deterrent for entering the 868 00:39:19,756 --> 00:39:22,516 Speaker 3: art world. And so the art will definitely reflect that 869 00:39:22,716 --> 00:39:26,196 Speaker 3: shift of values, which is sad. And I'm hoping that 870 00:39:26,236 --> 00:39:29,036 Speaker 3: we can actually like figure out some ways to sustain 871 00:39:29,196 --> 00:39:33,076 Speaker 3: art and artists so that that doesn't happen, because if 872 00:39:33,116 --> 00:39:35,036 Speaker 3: we have a whole bunch of vapid art, is going 873 00:39:35,076 --> 00:39:36,556 Speaker 3: to be a real sad state for culture. 874 00:39:36,996 --> 00:39:39,956 Speaker 2: Yeah, some of that was reflected in the note that 875 00:39:39,996 --> 00:39:42,316 Speaker 2: you put up on your Instagram or on your website 876 00:39:42,756 --> 00:39:46,356 Speaker 2: about the decision to cancel your tour. I love that 877 00:39:46,516 --> 00:39:49,356 Speaker 2: note so much because you took the time to explain 878 00:39:49,476 --> 00:39:53,916 Speaker 2: exactly where you were at as a business person, as 879 00:39:53,916 --> 00:39:57,996 Speaker 2: an artist emotionally, how everything was just taking a toll 880 00:39:58,076 --> 00:40:01,716 Speaker 2: on you and the wheels were coming off. Can you 881 00:40:02,076 --> 00:40:04,356 Speaker 2: just talk a little bit about your decision to write 882 00:40:04,396 --> 00:40:06,716 Speaker 2: that and what the process of writing that for you. 883 00:40:08,756 --> 00:40:10,956 Speaker 3: Well, I knew I had to let my fans know 884 00:40:10,996 --> 00:40:12,476 Speaker 3: what was going on if I was going to cancel 885 00:40:12,516 --> 00:40:12,716 Speaker 3: a tour. 886 00:40:12,756 --> 00:40:14,236 Speaker 4: I felt really bad about canceling tour. 887 00:40:14,676 --> 00:40:17,116 Speaker 3: I really kind of felt that the tour might not 888 00:40:17,196 --> 00:40:19,436 Speaker 3: happen from before it was announced, but I was pressured 889 00:40:19,436 --> 00:40:22,716 Speaker 3: to announce it anyway, and which they were like, if 890 00:40:22,716 --> 00:40:24,716 Speaker 3: you don't announce it, then you know, then we're gonna 891 00:40:24,716 --> 00:40:26,676 Speaker 3: miss the you know, if we do do it, we're gonna. 892 00:40:26,436 --> 00:40:27,636 Speaker 4: Miss the opportunity or whatever. 893 00:40:27,956 --> 00:40:30,116 Speaker 3: So I kind of I announced it, but then I 894 00:40:30,196 --> 00:40:32,476 Speaker 3: knew it was I knew it was coming, like so 895 00:40:32,556 --> 00:40:35,676 Speaker 3: I felt like I really owed them an explanation, and 896 00:40:36,156 --> 00:40:38,116 Speaker 3: like we talked about you know, I'm a journal writer, 897 00:40:38,236 --> 00:40:41,036 Speaker 3: so I go in when I write, I go in. 898 00:40:41,436 --> 00:40:43,636 Speaker 3: And that letter was originally like four pages long, and 899 00:40:43,636 --> 00:40:47,036 Speaker 3: I wrote it late at night one night, and I 900 00:40:47,076 --> 00:40:48,996 Speaker 3: was like, who's awake right now? And I called Dave 901 00:40:49,036 --> 00:40:52,356 Speaker 3: Sidek from TV on the radio and I was like, Dave, 902 00:40:52,436 --> 00:40:55,276 Speaker 3: listen to this, you know, and he was like, wow, 903 00:40:55,396 --> 00:40:57,836 Speaker 3: that's like an op ed and a letter and a book. 904 00:40:59,476 --> 00:41:02,596 Speaker 3: He was like, maybe strip it down and hit these points, 905 00:41:02,676 --> 00:41:03,676 Speaker 3: you know, and he helped me. 906 00:41:04,236 --> 00:41:06,196 Speaker 4: He was so great. That's my buddy. I love him 907 00:41:06,236 --> 00:41:09,476 Speaker 4: so much. But he was like, look, I'm so glad 908 00:41:09,476 --> 00:41:10,036 Speaker 4: you're saying this. 909 00:41:09,996 --> 00:41:12,956 Speaker 3: Because everybody's talking about this and we all are feeling 910 00:41:13,036 --> 00:41:15,396 Speaker 3: like this, you know. And that was my experience, Like 911 00:41:15,796 --> 00:41:19,676 Speaker 3: everybody I was talking to, we were all just silently suffering, 912 00:41:19,756 --> 00:41:22,276 Speaker 3: and I was like, this isn't helping anybody, and its 913 00:41:22,276 --> 00:41:25,316 Speaker 3: certainly not helping our fans and people who care about 914 00:41:25,356 --> 00:41:28,436 Speaker 3: us and our art to not know what we're going through. 915 00:41:29,476 --> 00:41:32,316 Speaker 2: Was this like a pandemic, like coming out of the 916 00:41:32,316 --> 00:41:35,236 Speaker 2: pandemic specific issue or was this an issue that you 917 00:41:35,356 --> 00:41:37,996 Speaker 2: felt existed before the pandemic. 918 00:41:38,436 --> 00:41:42,556 Speaker 3: Well, see what happened was it's not There was a 919 00:41:42,716 --> 00:41:48,356 Speaker 3: very specific circumstances of the pandemic that made it so 920 00:41:48,356 --> 00:41:50,916 Speaker 3: so stark, you know, like so in our face and 921 00:41:50,996 --> 00:41:55,116 Speaker 3: so impossible. Like the inflation is a huge part of it, 922 00:41:55,196 --> 00:41:57,196 Speaker 3: the fact that gas was so expensive. So we are 923 00:41:57,236 --> 00:42:00,156 Speaker 3: tour buses. I mean, people are out there, they're just 924 00:42:00,196 --> 00:42:01,876 Speaker 3: out there now. But like a lot of artists are 925 00:42:01,876 --> 00:42:03,556 Speaker 3: making like at least seventy percent less than what they 926 00:42:03,636 --> 00:42:05,276 Speaker 3: normally make, So how many times are going. 927 00:42:05,196 --> 00:42:06,876 Speaker 4: To be able to continue to do that. 928 00:42:07,116 --> 00:42:08,836 Speaker 3: There's a lot of people that went out and did 929 00:42:08,876 --> 00:42:10,916 Speaker 3: full arena tours and end up millions of dollars in 930 00:42:10,956 --> 00:42:14,916 Speaker 3: debt because you're still spending way much, way more money 931 00:42:14,996 --> 00:42:17,916 Speaker 3: than you were spending and you still have to make 932 00:42:17,956 --> 00:42:18,556 Speaker 3: your show. 933 00:42:18,356 --> 00:42:20,436 Speaker 4: Look like at the same level that you are. 934 00:42:20,836 --> 00:42:23,716 Speaker 3: So some people came out of pocket for that and 935 00:42:24,436 --> 00:42:26,156 Speaker 3: just did it, you know, but how many times are 936 00:42:26,156 --> 00:42:26,556 Speaker 3: you going to be. 937 00:42:26,516 --> 00:42:26,996 Speaker 4: Able to do that? 938 00:42:27,116 --> 00:42:29,796 Speaker 3: And a lot of those circumstances have not changed, Like 939 00:42:29,836 --> 00:42:31,796 Speaker 3: I think eventually less people will be out on the 940 00:42:31,836 --> 00:42:34,316 Speaker 3: road at the same time. But then there's the bigger 941 00:42:34,356 --> 00:42:38,276 Speaker 3: problem of like mental health, which existed prior, and I 942 00:42:38,316 --> 00:42:40,516 Speaker 3: think a lot of the you know, media picked up 943 00:42:40,556 --> 00:42:43,876 Speaker 3: on that angle. It's like there are artists who are 944 00:42:43,876 --> 00:42:46,636 Speaker 3: out there and touring fine and making money, but they 945 00:42:46,676 --> 00:42:52,436 Speaker 3: are so depleted and it's such an unsustainable pace to 946 00:42:52,556 --> 00:42:57,276 Speaker 3: be expected to tour as the main way that you 947 00:42:57,316 --> 00:43:00,476 Speaker 3: sustain your career, whether it's financial or just having to 948 00:43:00,476 --> 00:43:02,396 Speaker 3: stay in the public eyes so you be so you're 949 00:43:02,436 --> 00:43:05,956 Speaker 3: relevant either way, it's too much to have to like 950 00:43:06,476 --> 00:43:08,756 Speaker 3: put out music constantly and be on the road constantly, 951 00:43:08,876 --> 00:43:11,156 Speaker 3: Like that was never the model. Like when I was 952 00:43:11,196 --> 00:43:13,436 Speaker 3: growing up, people put out records about every four years 953 00:43:13,836 --> 00:43:15,796 Speaker 3: and they sold their records, and they made their money 954 00:43:15,836 --> 00:43:17,716 Speaker 3: and they could tour or not tour, but you know 955 00:43:17,796 --> 00:43:20,276 Speaker 3: they did, but they didn't have to spend so much 956 00:43:20,276 --> 00:43:24,196 Speaker 3: time on the road. Maybe when you're like young, it 957 00:43:24,276 --> 00:43:26,116 Speaker 3: might be fun going around the world the first time 958 00:43:26,236 --> 00:43:29,276 Speaker 3: is really really fun going around the world. When you 959 00:43:29,276 --> 00:43:31,156 Speaker 3: have three kids that have to leave your family and 960 00:43:31,196 --> 00:43:35,796 Speaker 3: you've been there before and you're doing above five shows 961 00:43:35,796 --> 00:43:39,396 Speaker 3: a week, it's like, that's not fun. And when you're 962 00:43:39,436 --> 00:43:41,996 Speaker 3: doing that every year, like people are putting out records 963 00:43:41,996 --> 00:43:45,596 Speaker 3: every year. Now like I'm not doing that, and I 964 00:43:45,596 --> 00:43:46,836 Speaker 3: don't even want to do that. 965 00:43:47,316 --> 00:43:50,316 Speaker 2: What was it like for you specifically in the pandemic, 966 00:43:50,436 --> 00:43:53,636 Speaker 2: Like before the pandemic started, before we knew what it was, 967 00:43:54,276 --> 00:43:56,036 Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden it became clear that 968 00:43:56,076 --> 00:43:58,756 Speaker 2: we're going to be stuck inside. What was that like 969 00:43:58,836 --> 00:44:00,636 Speaker 2: for you as an artist, for someone who had been 970 00:44:00,716 --> 00:44:04,876 Speaker 2: out and around and used to moving and working with people, 971 00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:06,436 Speaker 2: how did that affect you? 972 00:44:07,716 --> 00:44:09,516 Speaker 3: Well, the hardest part for me was just having all 973 00:44:09,516 --> 00:44:11,396 Speaker 3: the children and no help in the house. In the 974 00:44:11,436 --> 00:44:13,996 Speaker 3: initial lockdown where we like nobody was coming in the house. 975 00:44:14,436 --> 00:44:16,156 Speaker 4: That was just pretty impossible. 976 00:44:16,196 --> 00:44:19,796 Speaker 3: My twins had just turned two and nobody else could cook, 977 00:44:19,876 --> 00:44:22,476 Speaker 3: nobody else was deep clean, and it was just undoable. 978 00:44:22,836 --> 00:44:25,276 Speaker 3: So what happened was I started feeling like I was 979 00:44:25,596 --> 00:44:27,476 Speaker 3: drowning and I was going to have like some sort 980 00:44:27,476 --> 00:44:31,436 Speaker 3: of breakdown honestly, if I couldn't have some sort of 981 00:44:31,476 --> 00:44:34,396 Speaker 3: space to like just be my normal self, like other 982 00:44:34,476 --> 00:44:38,116 Speaker 3: than mom and other than just being on everybody else's 983 00:44:38,116 --> 00:44:40,676 Speaker 3: schedule of needs and no time for my own needs. 984 00:44:41,076 --> 00:44:44,996 Speaker 3: So eventually I was able to carve out like the 985 00:44:45,036 --> 00:44:47,756 Speaker 3: four days when my mom would come in, I would 986 00:44:47,756 --> 00:44:49,956 Speaker 3: get to go to the back house for three hours 987 00:44:50,436 --> 00:44:54,836 Speaker 3: after dinner and write or record or do whatever I 988 00:44:54,876 --> 00:44:57,156 Speaker 3: needed to do. And thank god, I had just set 989 00:44:57,236 --> 00:45:00,516 Speaker 3: up my studio at home, and so I started working 990 00:45:00,516 --> 00:45:03,876 Speaker 3: on my record and it was like the most cathartic 991 00:45:03,916 --> 00:45:05,756 Speaker 3: thing because there had been so much because it wasn't 992 00:45:05,796 --> 00:45:07,796 Speaker 3: just the pandemic, it was the riots and all the 993 00:45:07,796 --> 00:45:11,036 Speaker 3: police brutality and like the wildfire. It was so much 994 00:45:11,076 --> 00:45:15,116 Speaker 3: going on, and I had had no opportunity to even access. 995 00:45:15,276 --> 00:45:17,756 Speaker 3: I was in survival mode, you know, so I didn't 996 00:45:17,796 --> 00:45:20,116 Speaker 3: get to process any of it. So it wasn't until 997 00:45:20,116 --> 00:45:22,076 Speaker 3: I had space in my backhouse that I started being 998 00:45:22,076 --> 00:45:26,716 Speaker 3: able to process it through writing and music. 999 00:45:26,956 --> 00:45:27,596 Speaker 4: That's how I live. 1000 00:45:27,676 --> 00:45:30,076 Speaker 3: That's my lifeline is creativity. So to be able to 1001 00:45:30,116 --> 00:45:32,516 Speaker 3: have the space, I was like stuff was pouring out 1002 00:45:32,516 --> 00:45:32,676 Speaker 3: of me. 1003 00:45:32,716 --> 00:45:34,996 Speaker 4: So I just wrote this record so fast. And then 1004 00:45:35,116 --> 00:45:37,116 Speaker 4: we got deeper in the pandemic. We went to Canada 1005 00:45:37,356 --> 00:45:40,156 Speaker 4: and we had a nanny at that point who came 1006 00:45:40,276 --> 00:45:41,316 Speaker 4: to stay with us. 1007 00:45:41,556 --> 00:45:45,436 Speaker 3: And I rented a cabin in the woods and sent 1008 00:45:45,476 --> 00:45:47,436 Speaker 3: all my music equipment out and that's when I like, 1009 00:45:47,876 --> 00:45:50,276 Speaker 3: I actually like made the record. So I was doing 1010 00:45:50,356 --> 00:45:53,956 Speaker 3: virtual sessions with producers. I'd be there like eight hours 1011 00:45:53,956 --> 00:45:55,996 Speaker 3: a day, and that was amazing because then it was 1012 00:45:56,116 --> 00:45:58,116 Speaker 3: like fun. Then it was like, I mean, I was 1013 00:45:58,156 --> 00:46:00,996 Speaker 3: getting to have a social interaction with my friends all over. 1014 00:46:00,876 --> 00:46:02,956 Speaker 4: The world for hours at a time. 1015 00:46:03,236 --> 00:46:05,276 Speaker 3: We spend half the time just talking because we were 1016 00:46:05,316 --> 00:46:06,916 Speaker 3: just also alone. 1017 00:46:08,316 --> 00:46:10,476 Speaker 2: But yeah, I feel like yourself again. You felt like 1018 00:46:10,516 --> 00:46:13,556 Speaker 2: an adult, Yeah, and also just to be creative. 1019 00:46:13,556 --> 00:46:16,236 Speaker 3: But then also the wonderful thing about the pandemic was 1020 00:46:16,276 --> 00:46:18,596 Speaker 3: that I ended up for years, I felt like I 1021 00:46:18,596 --> 00:46:22,516 Speaker 3: was on this hamster wheel of you know, albums and 1022 00:46:22,556 --> 00:46:25,276 Speaker 3: touring and trying to have kids in between, and you know, 1023 00:46:25,836 --> 00:46:28,756 Speaker 3: and I got to kind of step off and start 1024 00:46:28,836 --> 00:46:31,116 Speaker 3: some ideas that I've been wanting to do for years. 1025 00:46:31,516 --> 00:46:33,636 Speaker 3: One was came up with the idea to do this 1026 00:46:33,756 --> 00:46:37,036 Speaker 3: memoir and I wrote the book proposal. Another was I 1027 00:46:37,036 --> 00:46:38,876 Speaker 3: came up with the idea for a movie that I 1028 00:46:38,876 --> 00:46:41,036 Speaker 3: wanted to do, which I've just finished the first draft 1029 00:46:41,076 --> 00:46:43,636 Speaker 3: of that, and that'll have an album to go with it. 1030 00:46:43,716 --> 00:46:46,356 Speaker 3: And so I got to take the time to start 1031 00:46:46,396 --> 00:46:50,316 Speaker 3: all these other things that once I started them, even 1032 00:46:50,396 --> 00:46:52,356 Speaker 3: once the you know, once things were back going, I 1033 00:46:52,476 --> 00:46:54,556 Speaker 3: just like was like, I'm going to finish these things 1034 00:46:54,596 --> 00:46:56,996 Speaker 3: that I started. So it was actually an opportunity to 1035 00:46:57,036 --> 00:46:59,556 Speaker 3: be creative in many different ways that I hadn't had 1036 00:46:59,596 --> 00:47:00,716 Speaker 3: the time to start. 1037 00:47:01,316 --> 00:47:03,556 Speaker 2: And if you were on tour, you would have never 1038 00:47:03,636 --> 00:47:05,636 Speaker 2: had the opportunity to do those things. You would have 1039 00:47:05,796 --> 00:47:06,796 Speaker 2: had space. 1040 00:47:06,516 --> 00:47:07,796 Speaker 4: Ever, because I've been wanting to do a lot of 1041 00:47:07,796 --> 00:47:08,596 Speaker 4: those things for years. 1042 00:47:09,276 --> 00:47:11,356 Speaker 2: So are you playing shows now? 1043 00:47:12,916 --> 00:47:14,676 Speaker 4: I have four shows this summer? 1044 00:47:15,156 --> 00:47:18,596 Speaker 2: Okay, how are you feeling now? Do you think about 1045 00:47:18,596 --> 00:47:21,796 Speaker 2: it differently? Do you feel prepared to be out again? 1046 00:47:22,756 --> 00:47:27,916 Speaker 3: You want the honest answer, I am so into all 1047 00:47:27,956 --> 00:47:30,676 Speaker 3: the other stuff that I'm doing right now that's not music, 1048 00:47:30,796 --> 00:47:34,556 Speaker 3: and I'm really having an amazing time doing a bunch 1049 00:47:34,596 --> 00:47:36,236 Speaker 3: of things that I've been wanting to do for years, 1050 00:47:36,276 --> 00:47:38,796 Speaker 3: and so I think I'm going to focus actually on 1051 00:47:38,876 --> 00:47:41,476 Speaker 3: some of these other projects for a while. And they 1052 00:47:41,516 --> 00:47:44,956 Speaker 3: are not necessarily not going to include music, you know, 1053 00:47:45,516 --> 00:47:47,556 Speaker 3: but they're not going to include doing things the way 1054 00:47:47,876 --> 00:47:50,516 Speaker 3: in the traditional like make a record and tour. 1055 00:47:50,636 --> 00:47:52,036 Speaker 4: I don't think I'll be doing that for a while. 1056 00:47:52,276 --> 00:47:55,356 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm having so much fun, and actually it's just 1057 00:47:55,636 --> 00:47:59,716 Speaker 3: so much fresher and more exciting to like not be 1058 00:47:59,836 --> 00:48:02,756 Speaker 3: doing things the way that I've always done them. Shows 1059 00:48:03,116 --> 00:48:06,356 Speaker 3: right now don't feel exciting, but when I get on stage, 1060 00:48:06,396 --> 00:48:08,156 Speaker 3: I will be very excited to be there with my fans. 1061 00:48:08,196 --> 00:48:11,556 Speaker 3: I do miss my fans, and I generally have fun performing. 1062 00:48:11,796 --> 00:48:14,676 Speaker 2: Yeah. Have you noticed that your crowd has changed over 1063 00:48:14,676 --> 00:48:15,116 Speaker 2: the years. 1064 00:48:16,396 --> 00:48:18,756 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean some of them are older like me, 1065 00:48:19,116 --> 00:48:20,996 Speaker 3: and then some of them. But the thing is, I 1066 00:48:20,996 --> 00:48:24,036 Speaker 3: got a lot of new young fans. Like I think 1067 00:48:24,076 --> 00:48:26,036 Speaker 3: a lot of my fans are still like twenty five, 1068 00:48:26,076 --> 00:48:27,836 Speaker 3: which they were when I first started. So I've got 1069 00:48:27,876 --> 00:48:29,956 Speaker 3: all the fans that were twenty five and now are 1070 00:48:29,996 --> 00:48:32,196 Speaker 3: fifteen years older, and then I've got actually new fans 1071 00:48:32,236 --> 00:48:34,836 Speaker 3: that are twenty five and some even younger. So I 1072 00:48:34,916 --> 00:48:37,116 Speaker 3: love that people are still finding out about my music 1073 00:48:37,156 --> 00:48:39,756 Speaker 3: and it's still resonating with people. Like I said when 1074 00:48:39,756 --> 00:48:41,836 Speaker 3: I listened to that first album, it's still resonates, and 1075 00:48:41,876 --> 00:48:43,956 Speaker 3: I think a lot of the things, like during the pandemic, 1076 00:48:44,156 --> 00:48:47,196 Speaker 3: I noticed disparate youth really like kind of had to jump, 1077 00:48:47,236 --> 00:48:50,076 Speaker 3: and I think that that's because the messages are really 1078 00:48:50,196 --> 00:48:51,116 Speaker 3: yeah forever. 1079 00:48:52,556 --> 00:48:55,276 Speaker 2: I'm curious where you are now, like what is your 1080 00:48:55,716 --> 00:48:59,796 Speaker 2: relationship to success and to ambition and how has that 1081 00:48:59,916 --> 00:49:02,956 Speaker 2: changed over just the arc of your career from when 1082 00:49:02,956 --> 00:49:06,636 Speaker 2: you first released the album, your debut album till now, 1083 00:49:06,716 --> 00:49:09,556 Speaker 2: Like how do you think you think differently about success 1084 00:49:09,556 --> 00:49:10,556 Speaker 2: at this point. 1085 00:49:11,236 --> 00:49:13,716 Speaker 3: I think I'm really like coming into a new space 1086 00:49:13,756 --> 00:49:16,196 Speaker 3: and my understanding of a lot of things. I don't know, 1087 00:49:16,316 --> 00:49:20,556 Speaker 3: FOMO just completely disappeared out of my realm. And that 1088 00:49:20,636 --> 00:49:23,316 Speaker 3: used to be a big thing, especially with social media, 1089 00:49:23,436 --> 00:49:26,116 Speaker 3: like that whole thing about like always needing to be 1090 00:49:26,236 --> 00:49:28,956 Speaker 3: there and be in the scene or should I have 1091 00:49:29,316 --> 00:49:31,636 Speaker 3: done this or should I not have done this? That 1092 00:49:32,116 --> 00:49:35,836 Speaker 3: I don't really see that anymore. My idea of success 1093 00:49:36,076 --> 00:49:40,876 Speaker 3: is balance and to be able to be creative in 1094 00:49:40,916 --> 00:49:44,876 Speaker 3: a way that brings me joy and fulfillment and peace 1095 00:49:45,356 --> 00:49:49,236 Speaker 3: and continuing to evolve personally. I want to be able 1096 00:49:49,276 --> 00:49:51,756 Speaker 3: to make things that are inspiring and that change people's 1097 00:49:51,836 --> 00:49:56,276 Speaker 3: perspectives of themselves and the world. And that's what makes 1098 00:49:56,276 --> 00:49:58,836 Speaker 3: me feel successful is when I can do that, and 1099 00:50:00,236 --> 00:50:03,836 Speaker 3: also now that I'm responsible for a bunch of people, 1100 00:50:04,596 --> 00:50:08,356 Speaker 3: to be able to support them and myself in doing that. 1101 00:50:09,236 --> 00:50:11,316 Speaker 3: I think you know, at one point, though, I probably 1102 00:50:12,276 --> 00:50:14,116 Speaker 3: would have said that I want as many people as 1103 00:50:14,116 --> 00:50:18,476 Speaker 3: possible to know my music, but I just want the 1104 00:50:18,516 --> 00:50:20,876 Speaker 3: people who are ready to know my music to know 1105 00:50:20,956 --> 00:50:21,436 Speaker 3: my music. 1106 00:50:22,316 --> 00:50:24,516 Speaker 2: Do you feel like, I know, you said that you 1107 00:50:24,636 --> 00:50:28,276 Speaker 2: set out to make music that sounded like nothing that 1108 00:50:28,356 --> 00:50:30,636 Speaker 2: was already out there and you had it, you heard 1109 00:50:30,676 --> 00:50:33,396 Speaker 2: it in your mind. Do you feel like you've been 1110 00:50:33,436 --> 00:50:34,316 Speaker 2: able to achieve that? 1111 00:50:35,556 --> 00:50:37,516 Speaker 4: Yeah, Yeah, definitely. 1112 00:50:38,196 --> 00:50:41,236 Speaker 3: I read somewhere yesterday that there's like less than one 1113 00:50:41,356 --> 00:50:44,756 Speaker 3: percent of producers or black women, and I was like, 1114 00:50:45,196 --> 00:50:49,636 Speaker 3: that's so messed up. But I think that part of 1115 00:50:49,716 --> 00:50:53,196 Speaker 3: my journey in being able to get down what I 1116 00:50:53,236 --> 00:50:54,956 Speaker 3: hear in my head is actually just to become a 1117 00:50:54,996 --> 00:51:00,076 Speaker 3: producer and be able to direct the musicians and producers 1118 00:51:00,116 --> 00:51:02,636 Speaker 3: that I work with to make a sound that's very 1119 00:51:02,636 --> 00:51:05,356 Speaker 3: specific to what I want it to be. And it's 1120 00:51:05,396 --> 00:51:08,596 Speaker 3: been a skill set that I've learned over the years 1121 00:51:08,676 --> 00:51:10,436 Speaker 3: and to be able to make that happen. 1122 00:51:10,436 --> 00:51:12,036 Speaker 4: And I think it's man. 1123 00:51:12,276 --> 00:51:14,596 Speaker 3: I guess it's rare, but I wish more women would 1124 00:51:14,636 --> 00:51:17,036 Speaker 3: do it because it really, I think would make a 1125 00:51:17,036 --> 00:51:21,636 Speaker 3: big difference into how women are portrayed. 1126 00:51:21,276 --> 00:51:22,636 Speaker 4: In music and. 1127 00:51:24,116 --> 00:51:28,476 Speaker 3: Give a lot more power to women in creating unique 1128 00:51:28,916 --> 00:51:30,156 Speaker 3: voices and sounds. 1129 00:51:30,556 --> 00:51:32,996 Speaker 2: Yeah, how is it for you? When you heard the 1130 00:51:33,836 --> 00:51:37,196 Speaker 2: break my Soul remix and Beyonce shouted you out? 1131 00:51:37,636 --> 00:51:39,996 Speaker 3: I think other people had a bigger reaction than I did, 1132 00:51:41,196 --> 00:51:44,276 Speaker 3: But it was cool. I was very far away from 1133 00:51:44,276 --> 00:51:48,156 Speaker 3: everything I was in Jamaica and when I was sitting out, 1134 00:51:48,316 --> 00:51:50,596 Speaker 3: like on this thing over the ocean, and my phone 1135 00:51:50,676 --> 00:51:52,396 Speaker 3: just happened to be with me, and it was like bing, 1136 00:51:52,476 --> 00:51:54,236 Speaker 3: bing bing, and I was like, oh, it's ruining my 1137 00:51:54,316 --> 00:51:55,916 Speaker 3: moment on the ocean. 1138 00:51:56,316 --> 00:51:57,596 Speaker 4: But then everyone started saying. 1139 00:51:57,516 --> 00:51:59,356 Speaker 3: I was like, what are they talking about? I had 1140 00:51:59,396 --> 00:52:02,396 Speaker 3: no idea what they were talking about. And then somebody 1141 00:52:02,476 --> 00:52:05,036 Speaker 3: sent it to me and I was like, oh, that's cool. 1142 00:52:05,836 --> 00:52:08,396 Speaker 3: It felt good to be acknowledged in that way, because 1143 00:52:08,396 --> 00:52:12,836 Speaker 3: I do think I said, I definitely know that I 1144 00:52:12,916 --> 00:52:15,916 Speaker 3: have been a pioneer in a lot of ways, and 1145 00:52:15,956 --> 00:52:19,316 Speaker 3: I know that I've influenced a lot of artists, but 1146 00:52:19,636 --> 00:52:22,996 Speaker 3: unfortunately artists don't always say who has influenced them or 1147 00:52:23,036 --> 00:52:23,676 Speaker 3: they just you know. 1148 00:52:23,756 --> 00:52:26,596 Speaker 4: And it was nice that she actually said that. 1149 00:52:26,676 --> 00:52:29,716 Speaker 3: And also the company and the names that she included 1150 00:52:30,076 --> 00:52:31,996 Speaker 3: that felt really special. 1151 00:52:32,036 --> 00:52:33,956 Speaker 4: So I was really grateful that she did that. 1152 00:52:34,076 --> 00:52:36,236 Speaker 3: And I not just for myself, but for some of 1153 00:52:36,276 --> 00:52:38,676 Speaker 3: the other artists that she mentioned that I know people 1154 00:52:38,716 --> 00:52:40,276 Speaker 3: didn't know of, you know. 1155 00:52:40,316 --> 00:52:41,156 Speaker 4: Like Rosetta Tharp. 1156 00:52:41,196 --> 00:52:43,556 Speaker 3: I mean, like, I know a lot of those people 1157 00:52:43,556 --> 00:52:46,716 Speaker 3: were like who, And it's like, that's good that she 1158 00:52:46,956 --> 00:52:49,156 Speaker 3: used her platform to bring attention to these women. 1159 00:52:49,676 --> 00:52:53,156 Speaker 2: So yeah, that's great. Well, thank you so much for 1160 00:52:53,196 --> 00:52:54,476 Speaker 2: doing this. This was fun. 1161 00:52:54,676 --> 00:52:58,676 Speaker 4: Thank you, it was fun. 1162 00:52:59,036 --> 00:53:01,956 Speaker 1: Thanks to Sonti Gold for sharing artistic vision with us. 1163 00:53:02,156 --> 00:53:04,476 Speaker 1: You can hear all of our favorite Sonti Gold songs 1164 00:53:04,516 --> 00:53:08,196 Speaker 1: on a playlist at broken record podcast dot com. You 1165 00:53:08,236 --> 00:53:11,116 Speaker 1: can subscribe to our YouTube channel at YouTube dot com 1166 00:53:11,116 --> 00:53:14,436 Speaker 1: slash broken record Podcast, where you can find all of 1167 00:53:14,476 --> 00:53:18,636 Speaker 1: our new episodes. Broken Record is produced to help from 1168 00:53:18,716 --> 00:53:23,716 Speaker 1: Leah Rose, Jason Gambrel, Ven Taliday, Nisha Venkat, Jordan McMillan, 1169 00:53:23,916 --> 00:53:29,396 Speaker 1: and Eric Sander. Our editor is Sophie Crane. Broken Record 1170 00:53:29,436 --> 00:53:32,196 Speaker 1: is a production of Pushkin Industries. If you love this 1171 00:53:32,276 --> 00:53:35,956 Speaker 1: show and others from Pushkin, consider subscribing to Pushkin Plus. 1172 00:53:36,676 --> 00:53:40,196 Speaker 1: Pushkin Plus is a podcast subscription service that offers bonus 1173 00:53:40,196 --> 00:53:43,956 Speaker 1: content and unintrupted ad free listening for only four ninety 1174 00:53:44,036 --> 00:53:48,276 Speaker 1: nine a month. Look for Pushkin Plus on Apple podcast subscriptions, 1175 00:53:49,396 --> 00:53:51,516 Speaker 1: and if you like the show, remember to share, rate, 1176 00:53:51,596 --> 00:53:54,876 Speaker 1: and review us on your podcast staff. Our themes expect 1177 00:53:54,916 --> 00:53:56,796 Speaker 1: Anny Beats. I'm Justina richm