1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:09,920 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,960 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM and click 4 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:15,880 Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live 5 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're going to read this 6 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:22,439 Speaker 1: one right here, right now. Buggle up, hold on tight. 7 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:25,119 Speaker 1: We got it for you. Here It is Drawberry Letter. 8 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject My man treats me like an afterthought. 9 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been in a relationship for almost 10 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:36,159 Speaker 1: two years, and when I think about the things this 11 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:40,479 Speaker 1: man has shown me sexually and mentally, I am floored. 12 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: He literally takes my breath away. But there are a 13 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:50,559 Speaker 1: few problems with our relationship. We've never spent a night together, 14 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: and I've never met his family except for his twin 15 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: daughters and their mother. What except for his twin daughters 16 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 1: and their mother. It was a quick high and by 17 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: when we ran into them at Target. We were not 18 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:10,839 Speaker 1: together on our one year anniversary because of his job. 19 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: You got it now. I didn't see him on Valentine's 20 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 1: Day because he had his daughters that night. I saw 21 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: him the next day and he gave me flowers. His 22 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: birthday is three days before Christmas, but I didn't see 23 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,560 Speaker 1: him until Christmas Eve because his grandparents were in town. 24 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: There was nothing on Christmas Day, and he went to 25 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,960 Speaker 1: church for New Year's Eve without me. Then he came 26 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,679 Speaker 1: over for a few hours on New Year's Day to 27 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 1: make up for it. I don't discuss how I feel 28 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 1: about things for fear of running him off, because he 29 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 1: told me his ex girlfriend nagged him a lot. He 30 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 1: is always busy if I asked to see him. If 31 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 1: I asked to see him, but when he calls me, 32 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: I will drop everything to be with him. I don't 33 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: know why he's acting this way, and I pray it's 34 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: not what my subconsciousness telling me it is. In his defense, 35 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 1: he does work extreme hours. He has his kids every 36 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: other weekend, and he likes to chill with his boys 37 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,640 Speaker 1: to unwind. I offered to cook dinner at his house 38 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,920 Speaker 1: so we could have a heart to heart, and he 39 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,920 Speaker 1: said he still needs to buy furniture and fix his 40 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,520 Speaker 1: place up before I can come over. I need him 41 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:20,960 Speaker 1: to make me a priority in his life. How can 42 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,079 Speaker 1: I get this through to him? Has our relationship run 43 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:28,360 Speaker 1: its course, He'll never make you a priority. He'll never 44 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 1: do that because guess what, he already has a priority 45 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: in his life. Okay, he has a priority. You should 46 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: have title and titled this letter. For two years I've 47 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:42,399 Speaker 1: been in a relationship with a married man, because that's 48 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: what it is. I mean, think about it. You never 49 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: ever get holidays. You don't get Christmas. You don't even 50 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: get his birthday, which is three days before Christmas. You 51 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 1: don't get New Year's Eve. You don't get New Year's Day, well, 52 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: you get a couple of hours when he decides to 53 00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:00,079 Speaker 1: come over. You don't get Valentine's Day, that's the day 54 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: for lovers. You don't get anything. And he plagued you 55 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: so hard. He told you his ex girlfriend nagged a lot. 56 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 1: So now you're scared, you said, you're scared of running 57 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,519 Speaker 1: him off. You're scared to tell him how you feel 58 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 1: and what all of this means to you, and why 59 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 1: doesn't he spend more time with you, and what's going on. 60 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: You're scared to bring up how you feel he puts 61 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:25,359 Speaker 1: you off. He's always too busy for you. He's got 62 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,640 Speaker 1: the kids every other weekend, or he's going out with 63 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:30,799 Speaker 1: his boys. You can't even go over his house because 64 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: he doesn't have any furniture, really, and you make excuses 65 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: for him at every turn. You have to stop this 66 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 1: talking about in his defense, he's very busy, Yeah, busy 67 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 1: with his wife and family running away from you. You 68 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 1: have to stop all of this. You got to stop 69 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: seeing him. You have to stop answering his call, stop 70 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 1: calling him, stop everything, all of the above, because you 71 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: already know what's going on. You said it. You're subconscious. 72 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: You don't want it to be what you're subconscious is 73 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: telling you that it is. Well, that's what it is. 74 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,920 Speaker 1: Listen to your self conscious, all right. Please, please don't 75 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: be stupid on this. I mean, don't be just don't be. 76 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: Get yourself together. Listen to your head and not your heart. 77 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 1: In this situation, the man has a wife. Steve, I 78 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 1: just wow, I know how long have we been doing 79 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 1: these letters? Yeah? How obvious does it have to be? Yeah? 80 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: How many times have we given advice on this subject? 81 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:35,040 Speaker 1: Right here? You say my man treats me like an afterthought. 82 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: That's cause that's what you are. See. You solved that 83 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,599 Speaker 1: the answers in the letter. I've been in relationship for 84 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,840 Speaker 1: two years and now hear what you hear you, hear 85 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 1: the glory of it. When I think about the thing 86 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: this man has shown me sexually and mentally, I'm floyed. 87 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 1: Why well, let's talk about what he didn't showed you. 88 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,480 Speaker 1: We don't know what he's doing sexually, but obviously you sprung. 89 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:02,280 Speaker 1: He literally takes my breath away. Now he go to letter. 90 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,600 Speaker 1: We've got some problems though. I've never spent a n 91 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 1: we've never spent a night together, and I've never met 92 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 1: his family. What two years and you ain't been over 93 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,840 Speaker 1: his house? And later on in the letters say because 94 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:19,880 Speaker 1: he ain't got no furniture? Who take two years to 95 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 1: get a couch? Couch? Who they've got this place? And 96 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:31,359 Speaker 1: in two years ain't got a couch, ain't got no 97 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 1: damn bad, ain't got a TV? Who did a day 98 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:39,840 Speaker 1: house for two years without no damn cable? Where sick? 99 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,400 Speaker 1: Where do he eat when he at home? What do 100 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: you mean he don't have furniture? Listen to me, And 101 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,760 Speaker 1: I've never met his family except for his twin daughters 102 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 1: and named mother. And it was a quick hind by. 103 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 1: We ran into them and talking. That was an accident. 104 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 1: That was a damn accident. He damned or wasn't intending 105 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 1: for you to meet them then, but you did. We 106 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 1: were not together on our one year anniversary. That's because 107 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:11,280 Speaker 1: y'all don't have anniversary. What is you? What is you 108 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:17,279 Speaker 1: making up? Y'all don't have anniversary because of his job. 109 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,279 Speaker 1: I didn't see him on Valentine's Day. That because you 110 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 1: ain't his Valentine. I'm gonna just give it to you 111 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: because he had his daughters that night. Who'll spend Valentine's 112 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 1: with the damn kids? Right, We're supposed to be having 113 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 1: sex on Valentine's Day? What is your kids in here? 114 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:44,359 Speaker 1: Fault kids? Yass waving the dog crazy? I got the 115 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,119 Speaker 1: rest of it for you when I come back, Steve. 116 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 1: I'm not even putting no punches with this. Please don't 117 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,680 Speaker 1: well that Part two of Steve's responds coming up at 118 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:58,840 Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. You're listening, all right, Steve, 119 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,839 Speaker 1: come on, let's recap to day Strawberry letter. My man 120 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,920 Speaker 1: treats me like an afterthought. Well that's caused you are, 121 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,640 Speaker 1: and it's all in the damn letter. Other than when 122 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 1: y'all having this crazy ass sex where you didn't learn 123 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 1: so much you on the float. So now he literally 124 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 1: takes my breath away. But then we got some problems. 125 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: She ain't never spend the night at the man's house 126 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 1: two years? Why because he say he don't have no 127 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 1: furniture yet. My question is, who ain't bought a couch 128 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: in two years? Where do he eat when he at home? 129 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: He just standing in the middle of the float with 130 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: some containers. I've never met his family except for his 131 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: twin daughters and their mother. And it was a real 132 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 1: quick hide and by we ran into them at Target. 133 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 1: That was a dam accident. Oh yeah, we were not 134 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: together on our one year anniversary. That's because y'all don't 135 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,680 Speaker 1: have anniversaries. I'm just going over what I went over 136 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna get to the rest of it. 137 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 1: Because of his job, I didn't see him on Valentine's Day. No, 138 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,440 Speaker 1: that ain't caused his job because you didn't see him 139 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 1: on Valentine's daycause you ain't his Valentine because he had 140 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 1: his daughters that night. Who the hell spend Valentine's Night 141 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: with their kids, even if it's my week of custody. 142 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 1: Somebody for the watch their ass on Valentine's Night. Because 143 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:35,959 Speaker 1: I got to go see somebody naked with a dipper 144 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:40,680 Speaker 1: on with a bowling arrow Cupid. I didn't played Cupid 145 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: on Valentine's Day. I didn't jump out the closet with 146 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 1: a dipper. You have a long time ago, y'all ain't 147 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 1: know me. Then I was young. I had the body 148 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:59,160 Speaker 1: for that dipper. I saw him the next day and 149 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,800 Speaker 1: he gave me hours. You know why you got flowers 150 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: because he spent all the money on the purse and 151 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 1: the candy on the other girl. And anybody can give 152 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,840 Speaker 1: you flowers, that's just stop. They sell them on the corner. 153 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,839 Speaker 1: His birthday is three days before Christmas, but I didn't 154 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:20,200 Speaker 1: see him until Christmas Eve because his grandparents was in time. Wow, 155 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 1: who need four days with some old ass people that 156 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 1: say married Christmas? Who needs full damn days with some 157 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 1: old people to say married Christmas? Then there was nothing 158 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 1: on Christmas Day as jo No, no, no, that's where 159 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:41,599 Speaker 1: you're wrong. Oh, Christmas Day was popping. It was it 160 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:47,560 Speaker 1: was family, woman, Christmas was lit. It just wasn't with 161 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 1: you because who can leave their house on Christmas Day? 162 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: And why would he not come over to your house 163 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,960 Speaker 1: on Christmas Day? He got no damn frontit you. He 164 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: didn't even got no nothing to sit on and look 165 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:04,080 Speaker 1: at you damn lights on the tree. Everybody like putting 166 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 1: a tree up, getting a cup of call fels, some 167 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 1: hot chocolate, looking at the tree, and they dreamed it 168 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:14,680 Speaker 1: having fun. That's the purpose of a tree. Christmas. Yeah, 169 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 1: that was nothing on Christmas Day. And he went to 170 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 1: church on New Year's Eve without me. That man was 171 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 1: not in church on New Year's Eve. He was just 172 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 1: without you. He told you he went to church on 173 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 1: New Year's Eve. His ass ain't go to church on 174 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: New Year's Eve. Then he came over for a few 175 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 1: hours on New Year's Day to make up for it. Oh. 176 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 1: I bet that's when y'all was in the flow, having 177 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 1: some of that mind blowing set. I don't discuss how 178 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,320 Speaker 1: I feel about things for feeling running him off because 179 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 1: he told me his ex girlfriend nagged him a lot. 180 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,960 Speaker 1: You know why, because she was trying to figure out 181 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: how the hell you gonna come over because he had 182 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 1: he he ain't had no furniture in this apartment for 183 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 1: about eight years. She weared his ass the deathbout coming over, 184 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:04,319 Speaker 1: and she had never spent the night over there. Okay, 185 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:07,839 Speaker 1: he's always busy if I ask to see him, but 186 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 1: when he calls me, I drop everything. I don't know 187 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 1: why he's acting this way. What You've been with him 188 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: two years and you don't know why he acted in 189 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 1: this way. He can't act no other way. He got 190 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 1: a family, He got a family. He can't act no 191 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 1: other way. I pray. It is not what my suspicion 192 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: is telling me. It is stop praying for something God 193 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:39,080 Speaker 1: gives you to protect you. You have this thing called intuition. 194 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:42,719 Speaker 1: It's telling you. Now you want to call it yourself conscious. 195 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,400 Speaker 1: I'm prayers, not what my self conscious is telling me. 196 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,560 Speaker 1: It's your intuition and it is telling you that. And 197 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: God gives it to women to protect them. And all 198 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,120 Speaker 1: of women out there listening know every time they go 199 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:59,240 Speaker 1: against what their intuition tells them, they pay for Every 200 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 1: woman has done it. True. Now in his defense, he 201 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 1: does work extreme hours? What is he a force fighter? 202 00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 1: Come on? What job he got where he work for 203 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 1: stream hours? What is he in the UFC fighter? What 204 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 1: is extreme hours? So he don't get no time? He 205 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:25,320 Speaker 1: working all these hours and still can't buy no damn 206 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:33,679 Speaker 1: couch bed, But he worked extreme hours. Daintest off. He 207 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,320 Speaker 1: has his kids every other weekend, and he likes to 208 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: cheer with his boys on wine. I like chier with 209 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,720 Speaker 1: my boys online too, but I'd rather be soware having sake? 210 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 1: What are you talking about? I want to cook dinner 211 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 1: at his house. He can't have you over there. Somebody 212 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 1: over there already cooking and they're not gonna understand you 213 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:57,400 Speaker 1: coming over because that's their kitchen, right all right. I 214 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,200 Speaker 1: need him to make me a part in his life. 215 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,200 Speaker 1: He's not. How can I get through to him? You can't. 216 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,320 Speaker 1: Is our relationship run his course? You have no relationship. 217 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,520 Speaker 1: That's a strawberry letter, all right? Thank you, Steve. Post 218 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:10,280 Speaker 1: your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM 219 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook, and please don't forget to check 220 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,120 Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up 221 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,520 Speaker 1: at forty six minutes after the hour, Our girl from 222 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:22,960 Speaker 1: the Talk, Cheryl Underwood. Right after this, you're listening to 223 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show