Speaker 1: Don't answer the phone, Elvis Duran.
Speaker 2: The Elvis Duran phone tapped the.
Speaker 1: Letter Dear Elvis, my dad hates telephone telemarketers.
Speaker 2: Oh you know what that means.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's another job for Michael Oppenheimer.
Speaker 2: This email comes to us from Alex.
Speaker 1: All right, Alex Scary Jones, as mister Michael Oppenheimer, our residents,
Speaker 1: annoying telemarketer will be calling your dad to sell him something.
Speaker 1: Who knows or who cares what it is, It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: By the way, this is the first Michael Oppenheimer phone
Speaker 1: tap where the victim stays on the phone the whole time.
Speaker 1: It doesn't hang up one time. Wow, let's listen into
Speaker 1: today's phone tap.
Speaker 3: Here we go, allow this far I canna help you?
Speaker 2: Oh yes, good afterne. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with
Speaker 2: niney said dot com. How are you doing today, sir?
Speaker 2: With hell, I have the mister FLECKX flexible flashlight here
Speaker 2: for sale for just nine dollars and ninety five cents.
Speaker 2: You can deamlight where you need it. How does that
Speaker 2: sound to you?
Speaker 3: It sounds like why are you calling me on my
Speaker 3: cellphone trying to sell me stuff?
Speaker 2: Because your name was on a list of people to
Speaker 2: be called today that you might be interested in this product.
Speaker 3: I'm not interested in anybody calling me on my cellphone
Speaker 3: trying to sell me something, So could you do me
Speaker 3: a favor and get me off you lit.
Speaker 2: It's got a high intensity crypt on bulb.
Speaker 3: I got flash light so you can get a sun can.
Speaker 2: With perfect for autos reading home.
Speaker 3: I don't drive. I walk everywhere I go.
Speaker 2: Maybe while you're fixing the toilet under the sink.
Speaker 3: I have somebody that comes in to do that kind
Speaker 3: of stuff.
Speaker 2: The mister flex flexible flashlight beams light into any orifice.
Speaker 3: Maybe you could shine that light up your ass off
Speaker 3: the beams lighted to any orifice.
Speaker 2: It has a goose necked handle, making it able to
Speaker 2: bend and reach deep into dark nooks and crannies.
Speaker 3: So it sounds suitable to do deep squats on. You
Speaker 3: should try it sometimes, sir.
Speaker 2: Mister flex flashlight features a flank two and a half
Speaker 2: inch magnetic base for your hands free use. Oh yes, sir,
Speaker 2: and if you act now, you get the second one free.
Speaker 3: You mean I can get two of something I don't want.
Speaker 2: How many would you like to purchase today, sir.
Speaker 3: Thirty six hundred of them. I just want to borrow
Speaker 3: one for everyone that lives in my town. So I
Speaker 3: think if we just gave a whole bunch of these
Speaker 3: flash lights down, maybe they might have left me there,
Speaker 3: and well, maybe then I could everybody's life.
Speaker 2: Well, how would you like to pay for these, sir?
Speaker 3: I'll trade my wife for them, because I won't need
Speaker 3: anymore of them everybody else's wife.
Speaker 2: We only accept credit card obviously, or CD cash on delivery, sir, Ah, how.
Speaker 3: About you just take my wife instead?
Speaker 2: How about this, Let's get your information and we'll get
Speaker 2: your order processed immediately. How does that sound?
Speaker 3: You know? I would almost say that I would hire
Speaker 3: you as a sales guy for my company.
Speaker 2: You have a company, sir, You're amazing.
Speaker 3: You're doing the wrong thing. You need to go out
Speaker 3: and sell something that maysy better commissions or something.
Speaker 2: Why is that, sir?
Speaker 3: Because I can't believe I'll focus you are, It's unbelievable.
Speaker 3: I can hardly stay focused on this end of the conversation.
Speaker 2: It's also great for emergency lighting and camping outdoors. Do
Speaker 2: you camp, sir?
Speaker 3: I know, but I get a big refrigerator box or
Speaker 3: something and me and my kids go camping and we
Speaker 3: hang out in it. We'll ut yet it kind of
Speaker 3: closes the problem when we actually make a campfire inside.
Speaker 3: My wife gets pretty upset. And that's the reason why
Speaker 3: I want to trade her. If it's only six hundred
Speaker 3: of your flashlights, so I can give them out to
Speaker 3: everyone in my neighborhood. You know, Can you do me
Speaker 3: a favor?
Speaker 2: What's that?
Speaker 3: Can you send me your resume?
Speaker 2: Why is that?
Speaker 3: Because, to be honest with you, you have been the
Speaker 3: most focused telemarketing guy I've ever heard in my life.
Speaker 3: I can't believe you haven't hung off on me yet
Speaker 3: You're still sticking with it. Every time you say something,
Speaker 3: you lead back to the mister flex flexible flashlight. You
Speaker 3: said it so many times even I know what it's
Speaker 3: called at this point, and I'm telling you I will
Speaker 3: give you a job. You'll make one hundred thousand dollars
Speaker 3: a year.
Speaker 2: One hundred thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 3: Think about how many mister flex flexible flashlights did you buy?
Speaker 3: With that, bro, Sir, I.
Speaker 2: Get commissioned on the sale of each one. If you
Speaker 2: buy thirty six hundred, maybe I should stay at this job.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna buy thirty six hundred. How that I'm
Speaker 3: not gonna buy any But if you send me your resume,
Speaker 3: I will give you a job and you will make
Speaker 3: one hundred thousand dollars a year. Really, some of the
Speaker 3: salespeople I've had to work for me are humongous idiots,
Speaker 3: and they make eighty thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 2: Wow. Well, I must say you've been quite the customer here.
Speaker 3: You're offered to tell you something. I really enjoyed chatting
Speaker 3: with you too, if you really want to know the truth, and.
Speaker 2: We've enjoyed phone tapping you.
Speaker 3: Oh awesome, this is scary.
Speaker 2: Jones Melvison rand in the Morning Show, you got phone
Speaker 2: tapped nice by your thirteen year old son Alex.
Speaker 3: No, that was great. I can't believe that. That's too funny.
Speaker 2: Elvis Duran's phone time. This phone tab was pre recorded
Speaker 2: with permission granted by all participants.
Speaker 3: The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
Speaker 3: the Morning Show