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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's moving Ja Rules Fire Festival

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Speaker 1: to Antarctica this year. Hey, no hurricanes down there, Just

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Speaker 1: tasty tasty penguins so they don't have to have lunch delivered,

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Speaker 1: Just salt and pepper with a side of Laser Stories.

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Speaker 1: It's the segment where we read weird news stories around

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Speaker 1: the glove, just like everyone else does, except we have

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Speaker 1: a laser. Those other Polar peaknucklers just don't steals alone.

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Speaker 1: Joe Sure his first Laser Stories out of Ohio, a

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Speaker 1: thirty seven year old man named Matthew Pancake was up

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Speaker 1: to no good, God, what a great name. You need

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Speaker 1: to marry him so you could be missus Pancake. Oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, we're on the back of sweatshirts, Pancake. Well,

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Speaker 1: around two am, mister Pancake broke into a famous footwear store,

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Speaker 1: and after that he's stuck into a restaurant called Roosters,

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Speaker 1: where he was seen on camera wearing leopard print pajamas.

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Speaker 1: Live your best life, pancakes. And then he kept the

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Speaker 1: animal theme party going by breaking into a pet store

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Speaker 1: called Petland, where he set a bunch of animals free

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Speaker 1: to live amongst the world. That's like a child. He's

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Speaker 1: like a modern day snow White. I don't think any issues,

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Speaker 1: you know. Police finally tracked down Pancake in a Big

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Speaker 1: Lots parking lot. When they asked him about the break ins.

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Speaker 1: Not surprisingly, he denied it ain't nobody got tam. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what you're talking about. Have a different Pancake.

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Speaker 1: But unfortunately for him, authorities didn't believe him, probably because

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Speaker 1: when he was searched they found four hamsters in his paints.

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Speaker 1: They really found them in there. Mister Pancake was then

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Speaker 1: charged with breaking and entering and vandalism. As for the animals,

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Speaker 1: the police recovered two dogs, multiple birds, yet another hamster,

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Speaker 1: and at least two bunnies. Authorities say they're still looking

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Speaker 1: for a frisky ferret. If you see one skirting around

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Speaker 1: the city, you're asked to call authorities immediately. Les you

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Speaker 1: know they're not related, it feels like they should be failing.

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Speaker 1: It's next Lazer stories out of Connecticut. The other day,

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Speaker 1: a man dropped off his rare twenty eighteen Chevy Camaro

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Speaker 1: at a dealership for its yearly service. The car was

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Speaker 1: in pristine condition, only had nine hundred and eighty nine

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Speaker 1: miles on it. Okay, why do you even need to

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Speaker 1: service it? The owner gave it explicit instructions that the

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Speaker 1: car was not to leave the lot. Unfortunately for him,

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Speaker 1: that didn't happen. A service advisor and another employee thought

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Speaker 1: what's the harm in taking it around a block or two,

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Speaker 1: so they took the car out, floored it to nearly

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Speaker 1: ninety miles per hour, lost control, and crashed it into

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Speaker 1: a guard rail. They're like, uh, do you think he's

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Speaker 1: gonna notice? Yeah, the car had been appraised at ninety

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Speaker 1: seven thousand dollars and it was a complete loss. Not surprisingly,

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Speaker 1: the driver was ticketed in the crash, but the dealership

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Speaker 1: is in much much bigger trouble because the Camaro owner

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Speaker 1: has now filed a lawsuit against him. No word on

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Speaker 1: the total damages, but it's probably safe to say they

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Speaker 1: exceed one hundred thousand dollars. Wow. Wait, the car's only

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Speaker 1: worth ninety seven thousand though, how's the damages higher? With

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Speaker 1: the lawsuit thrown? And I'm guessing he gets more than

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Speaker 1: just the value of the car. Yeah, okay, okay, distress

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Speaker 1: from missing his like really fancy car. That must be

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Speaker 1: hard for him yeah, I feel bad for him. Okay,

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Speaker 1: they literally crashed his car, Like, but why does he

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Speaker 1: need more money than what the cars work? Because he

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Speaker 1: totally don't crash it and they went out crash why more? Okay, sure,

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Speaker 1: let's go to your next laser story, which is out

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Speaker 1: of Californias here, I don't know yet, give it to me.

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Speaker 1: And then man recently went to a bar in the

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Speaker 1: San Diego area called the Catalina Lounge, and when he

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Speaker 1: was closing his twenty four dollars tab, the screen gave

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Speaker 1: him four suggested tipsy twenty percent, yeah, twenty five percent,

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Speaker 1: fifty percent, and one hundred percent. That was a suggestion.

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Speaker 1: Those are the suggested options for him. The guy was

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Speaker 1: so appalled that he took a photo of it, and

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Speaker 1: now it's going viral. Oh my god. So naturally, some

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Speaker 1: commenters say that's just predatory, especially for a bar, because

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Speaker 1: if someone isn't looking closely or if they're not thinking

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Speaker 1: for it. Yeah, I think it's ten. Yeah. Sure, there's

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Speaker 1: some bartender that's like, hell, let's see what drunk idiot

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Speaker 1: chicks that's literally and it's because if you see it,

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Speaker 1: the one hundred percent is the very top option yeah,

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Speaker 1: which would be the first one, you know. So, like

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Speaker 1: I said, if you're not looking closely, if you're not

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Speaker 1: thinking clearly, you could inadvertently tip a lot more than

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Speaker 1: you want to. And as for the bar, no one

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Speaker 1: from management has commented, so it's unclear if they purposely

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Speaker 1: chose those options or if they were just somehow pre

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Speaker 1: programmed or something. They definitely chose the option for what

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Speaker 1: it's worth. The guy posted his actual receipt as well,

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Speaker 1: which shows he ended up tipping twenty percent. Oh cheap.

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Speaker 1: I think that's the problem with obviously doesn't drive the

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Speaker 1: ninety seven thousand dark car, But he also said that

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Speaker 1: he doesn't know why he even did it at all,

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Speaker 1: and the rest of the night he tipped zero percent.

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Speaker 1: In response, wait, he should just stop where this next

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Speaker 1: laser stories out of the Pacific Northwest who touched the

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Speaker 1: thermostat fights are getting more interesting with this trend. Oregon's

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Speaker 1: biggest power company is rolling out a new smart thermostat

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Speaker 1: at program where they get to change the temperature in

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Speaker 1: your home. Starting sucked. My dad would just die. Was

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Speaker 1: that a customerd? We just played? Oh my god? Basically,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I agree, But the way the program works

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Speaker 1: is you install a smart thermostat and pay a little

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Speaker 1: bit less each month in an exchange. You let them

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Speaker 1: control your thermostat remotely. Wait a minute, this has infiltrated

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Speaker 1: my family. I was recently in Arizona and my dad

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Speaker 1: came to me and said, I'll say, I'm calling to

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Speaker 1: the electric company. They are changing my thermostat. That's basically

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Speaker 1: the rules of it. During peak hours they up the

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Speaker 1: tempt by a few degrees to reduce the strain on

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Speaker 1: the grid, which usually happens between three and nine pm.

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Speaker 1: Why do I imagine you ever, whoever adjusting it also

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Speaker 1: having an evil laugh while doing it. The new Oregon

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Speaker 1: version limits it to three degrees, So if you're set

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Speaker 1: to seventy one, they could up that to seventy four. Well,

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Speaker 1: I mean right, it's gonna backfire. Everybody's just gonna set

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Speaker 1: their thermostat three degrees lower. Yeah, totally. We're not idiots.

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Speaker 1: You know. Some cities set the max even higher, like

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Speaker 1: a program in LA that lets them increase it by

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Speaker 1: four degrees. But you can override it by changing the

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Speaker 1: temperature manual. So is it worth it just to save

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Speaker 1: a few bucks and help the environment. I'd say yes maybe.

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Speaker 1: Wait are you saying no? Are is there an answer?

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Speaker 1: I'm worried to ask Brook anything about money today. She's

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Speaker 1: very hot headed about it. Or are you the only

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Speaker 1: one who gets to mess with your thermostat? Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: the question. I know this guy likes it chili in

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Speaker 1: his terrarium. Why do you think he's wrapped around that

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Speaker 1: ug boot so tightly right now? He's preparing for cold seasons.

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Speaker 1: That sound means Laser Stories has come to an end

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Speaker 1: for the day. We're gonna do it same time a Monday,

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Speaker 1: brooking Jeffrey in the morning,