WEBVTT - Toilet Trouble 0:00:03.560 --> 0:00:07.160 My colleagues, We'll stop commenting on everything I get at 0:00:07.200 --> 0:00:09.680 people and meeting? Why does my coworker keep taking credit 0:00:09.680 --> 0:00:12.240 for all my ideas? Have any wisdom for me? Hi? 0:00:12.280 --> 0:00:15.320 I'm Alison Green. Welcome to the Ask a Manager podcast. 0:00:15.640 --> 0:00:19.520 Right answer questions from listeners about life at work, everything 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:21.640 from what to say if you're allergic to your coworkers 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:23.840 perfume to what to do if you drink too much 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:28.800 at the company party. Let's get started, Hi, and welcome 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:31.520 to the show. Today, I'm going to answer a bunch 0:00:31.560 --> 0:00:35.480 of shorter questions from people. The first question today, well, 0:00:35.520 --> 0:00:37.160 I'm just going to say that when I first started 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:40.560 asking Manager eleven years ago, I never expected to get 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:46.600 so many questions involving office toilet etiquette. Hi, Allison, I 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:50.680 work in a small office of about three five people, 0:00:50.960 --> 0:00:54.440 and we have an interesting situation here that none of 0:00:54.480 --> 0:00:58.960 the leadership is quite sure how to contend with. So 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:02.600 we decided to ask you. Someone or perhaps multiple people 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:07.600 are not flushing the toilet. I know staff are reporting 0:01:07.800 --> 0:01:11.760 with some regularity and no pun intended, that they're finding 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:15.200 toilets filled with shall we say, large deposits and are 0:01:15.200 --> 0:01:18.560 growth out. How do you advise. I addressed this with 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:22.080 my staff. I've been a manager for more than twenty years, 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:27.240 and it's a first for me. Okay, the first thing 0:01:27.319 --> 0:01:29.240 I need to say here is that I get a 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:32.000 lot of letters from people whose offices are in the 0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:36.720 same situation, which has really surprised me, because who knew 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:39.480 that this was so common. I've even encountered it in 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:42.920 real life. I once worked in an office where this 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:46.600 was happening. We called whoever was doing it the phantom pooper, 0:01:47.280 --> 0:01:51.320 and it suddenly stopped after one particular guy was fired. 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:55.120 So either he was the phantom pooper or someone else 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:58.720 was and realized that they could frame him by choosing 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:02.000 that particular time top. I want to say that second 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:05.400 option is too pathological to explain it, But on the 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:08.480 other hand, the behavior itself is already kind of pathological, 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:11.840 so who knows. I also have a relative who reported 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:14.839 it was happening in his office too, and like I said, 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:17.440 I get a bunch of letters about it, So apparently 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:21.560 there is a weird epidemic of aggressive non flushing in offices. 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:25.160 As for an answer, I don't have a great answer 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:27.840 for this. I don't know that anyone does. I mean Obviously, 0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:31.120 you can try putting up signs asking people to flush, 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:34.360 but people generally already know that they're supposed to flush. 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:36.239 It's not like a sign is going to teach someone 0:02:36.320 --> 0:02:39.360 that rule for the first time. Maybe if it's just 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:44.200 happening because someone is incredibly absent minded. But I'm skeptical 0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:47.160 that this is about being absent minded. I mean, flushing 0:02:47.560 --> 0:02:49.680 is a key part of the activity that you're in 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:52.600 there to do, so I think it's more deliberate than that, 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:56.840 and that it often can be a kind of active aggression. 0:02:57.320 --> 0:02:59.760 It's you know, it's no coincidence that the guy who 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:02.880 least seem to be responsible in my office with someone 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:06.640 who eventually got fired for unrelated reasons. It's not the 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:09.960 kind of thing that you think your star performer is doing. 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.840 You know, it feels more like an f you. And 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:14.920 if that is the case, signs aren't going to help 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:17.960 and might even egg the person on. But you can 0:03:17.960 --> 0:03:20.760 try signs who knows, try putting up some friendly signs 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:23.040 asking people to remember to flesh and see what happens. 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:26.519 It probably won't solve it, but it'll take minimal effort 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:29.120 to try that out. But assuming that doesn't solve it. 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:31.720 At that point, you don't have a lot of options 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:34.200 if you really want to get serious about it. There 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:36.240 is one thing that can potentially work. It's kind of 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:38.800 a pain, though. You can put a lock on the 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:41.440 bathroom door and start requiring people to get the key 0:03:41.480 --> 0:03:44.200 from your receptionist in order to get in there. That's 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:46.720 actually not an uncommon set up. Lots of offices do 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:49.800 have bathrooms that work that way. But if yours isn't 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:52.120 already set up like that, it can feel like a 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:54.720 lot of effort and change just to get someone to 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:58.120 flush the toilet. But that is a way to potentially 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:01.120 stop it, because if someone walks in there and find 0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:04.400 something gross, it's much easier to know who was last 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:07.080 in there if people have to get a key every time, 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:11.040 So there's this sort of specter of accountability and that 0:04:11.160 --> 0:04:13.600 might stop it. But again, I mean, that's a lot 0:04:13.640 --> 0:04:16.760 of effort to go through for this. The other thing though, 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:20.240 and this is a fairly meta way to address it, 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:22.800 but you could think about your staff and who's thriving 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:24.720 there and who's not. You know, do you have someone 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:27.599 who's struggling with their work, or who seems unhappy, or 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:30.920 just any unresolved personnel issues. And I am not saying 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:32.640 you should then go to them and accuse them of 0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:36.359 doing this, Absolutely not. The idea is that if you 0:04:36.480 --> 0:04:40.120 do have unresolved staff issues, you might take this as 0:04:40.120 --> 0:04:43.000 an incentive to really tackle those. And I know that 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:46.680 sounds totally unrelated, but like I was saying before, this 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:50.440 isn't something that your star performer generally does, and really 0:04:50.440 --> 0:04:53.560 you should be resolving any existing staff issues anyway. But 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:57.480 it's human nature to let things linger, and lots of employers, 0:04:57.520 --> 0:05:01.160 lots of managers, do let things linger. It is possible 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:03.599 that by deciding we're going to do a sort of 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:07.400 organizational health check up and start working to fix anything 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:10.400 that isn't in good shape, it is possible that in 0:05:10.520 --> 0:05:13.440 doing that you will find that this problem goes away too. 0:05:13.960 --> 0:05:17.360 And that might seem like an awfully big picture reaction 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:20.200 to something that seems very small. But what I'm saying 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:22.680 is that this poop might be like the canary in 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:25.000 a coal mine, you know, a sign that not all 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:27.279 is well, the poop in the coal mine. If you 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:30.359 will or not, I mean, maybe you have a tremendously 0:05:30.400 --> 0:05:32.920 absent minded person on your staff who knows but it's 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:35.280 always a good idea to do that kind of organizational 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:38.080 health check anyway, and there are all kinds of other 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:40.240 good things that could result from it, so it wouldn't 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:43.560 be wasted effort. That's probably way more than you've expected 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:46.000 me to read into poop in the toilet, But there 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:49.720 you have it. Okay, let's go to our next question. Hi, Allison, 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:53.560 my name is Riah. I love your podcast and love 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:57.400 hearing your helpful suggestions to people at their workplace. I 0:05:57.440 --> 0:05:59.520 have a question for you that's been a recurring topic 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:02.360 of debate among me and my friends. What is your 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:06.440 opinion on using personality tests to hire personally? I kind 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:10.120 of think they're like horoscopes. I think people sort of 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:14.120 read into them and pick what they want to hear 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:17.000 and ignore what they don't want to hear. I could 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:19.160 give you another hundred reasons why I don't like them, 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:22.520 but I'm really interested in hearing your take. Thank you 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:24.560 for your time, and I really look forward to many 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:29.320 more episodes in hiring specifically, I'm not a fan of 0:06:29.360 --> 0:06:32.400 personality tests. Frankly, I'm not a fan of using them 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:35.120 with existing employees either, but that is more just about 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:37.440 my personal preference. I know that a lot of people 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:40.440 have found things like strength Finder or the Disk assessment 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:43.640 to be really helpful and giving insights into their own 0:06:43.640 --> 0:06:46.480 strengths and their approach to work, and forgetting insight into 0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:49.279 those same things for their coworkers, and just figuring out 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:51.919 how to communicate with each other better. Some people do 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:54.920 really find value in that, But using it with an 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:58.039 existing team is one thing. Using it as part of 0:06:58.080 --> 0:07:02.120 your hiring process is a lot more problematic. There are 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:05.080 employers who have people take personality tests early on in 0:07:05.120 --> 0:07:08.000 their hiring process, and then they just automatically reject people 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:10.440 who don't score a certain way. That puts way too 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:13.239 much weight on the results of the tests. And actually 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:16.120 several of the big personality tests, like the Myers Briggs 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.480 specifically say that they should not be used in hiring. 0:07:20.400 --> 0:07:24.560 There's a couple of big problems with doing in hiring. One. 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:26.920 There are loads of problems with most of these tests 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:29.760 scientific validity. It's one thing if you want to use 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:33.200 a non scientifically valid test with existing employees because you 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:36.040 think it helps people learn to communicate better with each 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:38.800 other or whatever it might be. But it's a really 0:07:38.840 --> 0:07:41.760 different thing to use them to make decisions about who 0:07:41.800 --> 0:07:45.440 you will and won't employ. Another problem is that you're 0:07:45.480 --> 0:07:48.680 forcing people to take what is essentially a psychological test 0:07:48.840 --> 0:07:52.160 as part of your hiring process, and people are entitled 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:55.920 to some psychological privacy. It's not really reasonable for an 0:07:55.920 --> 0:07:59.720 employer to require that a potential employee open up to 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:02.640 them so completely. It's kind of gross, you know, to 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:06.520 scrutinize every aspect of a candidate's life in that way. 0:08:07.000 --> 0:08:09.560 And then the other thing is it's just not good hiring. 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:13.080 People with different personality types can excel at the same 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:16.840 job for different reasons, and it's not smart to decide 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:19.600 that you know who will be good at what based 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:22.320 on the results of a personality test when you have 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:25.320 much more relevant information right in front of you in 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:29.040 the form of their work history and their accomplishments. It's 0:08:29.040 --> 0:08:30.760 a little like if we were going to hire based 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:33.480 on i Q. Intelligence is great, but what you really 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:35.839 want to know is what has the person used their 0:08:35.880 --> 0:08:39.320 intelligence for? What if they achieved And it's the same 0:08:39.360 --> 0:08:41.440 thing with personality tests. You want to look at what 0:08:41.480 --> 0:08:44.600 they have actually gotten done, and that is a much 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:47.280 more reliable measure of what you can expect from them 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:49.679 if you hire them. Let's take a short break here 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:59.200 and come back with a lot more questions. Welcome back. 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:03.840 Oh okay, next question. Hi Allison. I work for a 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:08.160 small media company and we're constantly battling to stay staffed properly. 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:11.720 Clients will send us large projects with a tight deadline, 0:09:11.840 --> 0:09:14.400 and so we'll staff up to meet the demand, but 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:17.320 then the client will inevitably delay and force us to 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:20.120 let people go since we can't always sustain a higher 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:24.440 staff when the money isn't coming in as quickly as expected. UM, 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:27.680 my question for you is what's the best way that 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:31.040 we can let people go without killing morale or treating 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:34.160 them unfairly. We're a small group, so we tend to 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:37.080 become pretty good friends, and it's hard to watch good 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:41.280 people get cut simply because of financials. Sometimes we're cutting 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:44.079 three or to five people, which is a pretty big 0:09:44.120 --> 0:09:49.200 blow when our total staff hovers around twenty people. In 0:09:49.240 --> 0:09:52.200 the past, my boss has pulled staff members who are 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:55.280 getting cut into a conference room while somebody else hit 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:58.199 send on an email to the remaining staff letting them 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:00.840 know what's going on the and while those on the 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:03.880 chopping block are being let go, their workstations are locked down, 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:07.960 and they gather their belongings and leave. The reaction is 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:11.319 basically chaos from the moment people start reading the email 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:15.559 until they say goodbye, and everybody grumbles about how shady 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:18.439 it is to fire people this way and how uncompassionate 0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:22.720 it is. I'm torn myself because I'm not sure what 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:26.440 other way we could possibly do it. So what are 0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:29.320 your thoughts? What's a graceful way for a small company 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:32.400 to make big cuts like this? I know we'll never 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:35.840 make everybodey happy, but surely there's got to be a 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:39.800 better way out there. This is so hard. There isn't 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:42.360 really a great way to do layoffs. They always suck 0:10:42.679 --> 0:10:45.040 and they're always hard. The way that your company is 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:48.160 doing it is actually pretty typical. It's very common for 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:52.400 companies to have laid off employees leave immediately, in part 0:10:52.440 --> 0:10:55.040 because they want the staff who remain to be able 0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:58.080 to adjust to this new normal as quickly as possible. 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:00.960 And it can be hard on everyone to have laid 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:04.360 off employees sticking around. Hard on the people being laid off, 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:07.280 of course, but also hard on their coworkers, who can 0:11:07.360 --> 0:11:11.160 feel kind of guilty and awkward, and it can prevent 0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:13.319 the company from being able to move forward and recover. 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:18.280 I suspect with your staff who are complaining, it's feeling 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:21.240 very abrupt. You know, one moment they have these coworkers 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:24.080 who have they've grown close to, and the next minute 0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:26.839 people are gone. So one thing that you might do 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:29.160 is talk to your staff about why you do it 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:31.600 this way and how it can be difficult for someone 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:33.319 to be told that they're being laid off but then 0:11:33.400 --> 0:11:37.040 still be expected to stick around and be productive. But 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:39.160 there are two other things that I would also do. 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:42.680 One is to make sure that you're treating your laid 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:45.120 off employees as well as you can. You know, make 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:47.719 sure that you're giving them generous severance, pay for their 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:50.600 health insurance as long as you can, and even help 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.760 with job hunting leads if you can. If you're remaining 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:56.240 employees see that you're doing those things, it's going to help. 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:58.960 They want to see that you're treating people well, So 0:11:59.040 --> 0:12:01.720 the more that you can demonstrate that you are, the better. 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:05.760 The other thing, though, is that it sounds from your 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:07.880 letter like this is not an uncommon thing to have 0:12:07.960 --> 0:12:10.719 to do, and if you are regularly needing to lay 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:13.320 people off because you're staffing up for a new project, 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:16.320 and then the client delays or doesn't come through, you 0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:19.079 might need to change the way that you're handling that staffing. 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:21.880 You might be better off going with contract workers or 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:25.360 temporary workers where it's explicit from the beginning that this 0:12:25.440 --> 0:12:29.160 could happen, rather than hiring people as longer term employees 0:12:29.160 --> 0:12:32.040 when the reality is that you know from past experience 0:12:32.400 --> 0:12:34.040 that you might not be able to keep them on. 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:36.839 You don't want to hire someone away from a good 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:39.320 full time job to come work for you and then 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:41.600 end up laying them off a few months later. That's 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:44.200 pretty awful to do to someone. If there's any way 0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:47.360 that you can foresee it. Sometimes you can't foresee it, 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:50.120 of course, but it sounds like in this case that's 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:52.720 happened enough that you know going in that it's possible. 0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:55.840 And in that case, at a minimum, you've got to 0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:58.120 be open and transparent about it with people so that 0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:00.960 they can make good decisions for themselves and not get 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:03.560 blindsided by it later. But it would be even better 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.280 if you could change the home model that you're using 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:08.559 to hire for those projects so that it is explicitly 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:11.800 structured as a shorter term contract to begin with, maybe 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:14.439 with higher pay to compensate for the uncertainty that's built 0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:17.120 into the timeline. That would be the right thing to 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:20.440 do for them, and I suspect the rest of your 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:23.400 staff would feel a lot better about it if they 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:28.240 knew that that's how it was being handled. Okay, next letter. 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:31.720 So I quit my job at Company A that I 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:34.280 really like back in December and have been working at 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:37.200 a new place closer to home since then. I regretted 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:40.600 quitting almost immediately. I left my previous job at Company 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:43.280 A for a few reasons. Tensions with the bullying manager, 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:46.800 go pay, and chronically overworked employees, to name a few. 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:50.040 I decided to quit and come to Company B for 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:52.880 those reasons. I heard lots of good things about Company 0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:55.040 B and did enjoy it for a while. The work 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:57.720 is easier, I combided to the office, and my schedule 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:01.839 is flexible. However, I find my unchallenged and disengaged a 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:05.200 Company B. The people here are less dynamic and of 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:07.839 a different cohort than myself, and the work is much 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:10.559 less interesting. I missed the hard work and the people 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:14.040 at Company A. I reached out to Company A about 0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:16.480 three months after starting my new job to open the 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:18.760 door to coming back, and had what I thought was 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:22.280 a positive meeting with my previous manager. I also talked 0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:24.880 to several of my colleagues at Company A, and they 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:27.920 were over the moon at the prospect of the returning. However, 0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:30.160 those meetings did not go anywhere, and I did not 0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:33.240 hear back from my former manager. I decided not to 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:35.800 push it. I've thought about it for a while now 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:38.320 and feel I made a mistake in leaving. How can 0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:41.440 I reopen the communication with Company A to express my 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:44.080 desire to go back, or should I just take the 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:47.360 hint and look elsewhere? Would so appreciate hearing your thoughts 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:52.280 on this. Thank you. There is a framework of thinking 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:54.680 in your question that I hear from people a lot, 0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:57.240 which is that you're looking at this as a choice 0:14:57.240 --> 0:15:00.480 between A and B when you really should looking at 0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:04.000 see it sounds like you left Company A for really 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:07.200 good reasons. A bullying manager and low pay and being 0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:10.720 chronically overworked are things you want to get away from, 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:13.080 not things that you want to knowingly go back to. 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:15.840 Aside from the low pay, which of course you do 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:18.239 know about going in, those are the sorts of conditions 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:21.440 that people tend to discover after taking a job and 0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:24.480 hate and wish that they had known about beforehand, because 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:26.880 they would not have signed on if they had. You 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:29.760 have the advantage here of already knowing what it's like there, 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:32.320 and it sounds like you made a smart decision to leave. 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:36.000 I think your second guessing it now because company BE 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.280 turned out not to be the right match for you. 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:40.080 But that doesn't mean that you should go back to 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:42.720 company A. I would actually take the fact that your 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:45.600 conversations with them about returning didn't go anywhere as a 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:49.600 blessing in disguise, and instead focus your energy and finding 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:52.760 a better match somewhere else. I will say that when 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:55.280 you do that, be careful that you don't jump at 0:15:55.280 --> 0:15:57.280 the first offer that you get, which is easy to 0:15:57.320 --> 0:15:59.400 do when you're in a bad situation and you want 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:01.600 to get out of it. But because you have not 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:04.640 been at the current job that company be very long, 0:16:04.720 --> 0:16:07.080 I think close to a year. You want to make 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:10.240 sure that wherever you go next you can happily stay 0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:12.480 for at least a few years so that your resume 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:17.000 doesn't start looking job poppery. You're totally fine with this 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:20.440 one shortish stay. You just don't want to start racking 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:22.160 up more of them because you don't want it to 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:25.440 look like a pattern. So just be really vigilant about 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:29.480 screening the next employer and do due diligence to make 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:31.680 sure that it's really what you want. I mean, of course, 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:33.560 that's always a good idea to do anyway, just be 0:16:33.760 --> 0:16:37.440 really careful about it in this context. But yeah, don't 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:39.960 go back to a job that sounds so problematic just 0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:41.880 to get away from the current one. That would be 0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:44.720 like going back to a bad X rather than dating 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:47.280 new people. You've got lots of other options out there. 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:50.080 Let's go to a quick break and then I'll come 0:16:50.160 --> 0:17:00.560 right back with another question. Welcome back, Okay, here is 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:04.840 our next question. Hi Allison. I'm a recent graduate working 0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:08.440 in a major metropolitan area. I put my all into work, 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:11.160 but I often like to plan for things after hours, 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:16.360 like networking events, alumni meetings, or dinner with friends. I'm 0:17:16.400 --> 0:17:19.040 contract at nine to five, just like my colleagues with 0:17:19.119 --> 0:17:22.680 the same title. My new supervisor often keeps me late 0:17:22.720 --> 0:17:25.600 without notice. I almost always let him know when I 0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:28.520 have conflicts after work, but he often emails me new 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:31.960 assignments right before I'm about to leave. He has told 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:35.600 me my relatively frequent requests to leave on time, not early, 0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:40.479 are quote unquote inconvenient. I now think he's distracted by 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:43.000 these requests so much that it hinders him from seeing 0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:47.320 my efforts. I'm always early and often work through lunch 0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:52.199 and complete overtime. I meet deadlines and expectations. None of 0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:54.520 my colleagues with the same title are held to these 0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:58.880 time standards and are instead given much more flexibility. How 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:01.320 do I stand up for myself without crossing the line. 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:03.879 My boss is the head manager and we don't have 0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:08.960 a human resources department. Thanks so much, well, that is annoying. 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:14.720 It is true that jobs aren't always really nine to five. 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:17.960 In professional type jobs, it's not uncommon to need to 0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:19.840 stay late to work on something that comes up at 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:22.800 the last minute, or to meet a deadline. It shouldn't 0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:25.600 be happening constantly, though, unless that's something that you were 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:28.200 prepared for in the hiring process, or unless it's a 0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:31.240 known condition of your field. But having it happen occasionally 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:34.439 is not uncommon, but a good manager will work around 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:37.400 it if you explain that you have existing plans, unless 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:41.919 whatever the work is is truly crucial or unless whatever 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:46.440 your existing plans are sound really really flexible. Like if 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:49.680 if something fairly important comes up and you say, well, 0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:51.760 I was planning to go to the gym, that's not 0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:53.560 going to look great. But you know, if you have 0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:57.080 a commitment to someone else and something comes up that 0:18:57.200 --> 0:19:00.280 isn't super time sensitive, a good manager would not push 0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:04.960 on that. I'm curious about two things. The first is 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:07.879 how time sensitive is the work that he's giving you 0:19:08.000 --> 0:19:10.240 right as you're about to leave, and was there any 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:13.000 way for it to be handled earlier in the day. 0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:15.520 In other words, is the way that he's doing this 0:19:15.800 --> 0:19:19.919 really necessary or is there something else going on? And 0:19:19.960 --> 0:19:22.760 then my second thing that I'm wondering about is it's 0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:25.720 interesting that other people with your same title aren't having 0:19:25.720 --> 0:19:28.680 this happen. If they have different bosses than you, that 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:30.840 could definitely explain it. But if you all have the 0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:34.240 same boss, then it's weird and it makes me wonder 0:19:34.600 --> 0:19:36.480 what else might be going on, Like does he think 0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:38.359 that you're more competent and so he wants you to 0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:40.840 be the one to do the work, or are you 0:19:40.840 --> 0:19:42.760 getting stuck with it because you're the one who doesn't 0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:45.080 have kids and therefore you don't need to leave for 0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:49.280 daycare pickup but everyone else does, or something unfair like that. 0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:51.399 In any case, I think the best thing to do 0:19:51.520 --> 0:19:53.919 here is to talk to him about it head on. 0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:57.600 Sit down with him and say something like, I wanted 0:19:57.600 --> 0:19:59.639 to talk to you about my hours. I've gotten the 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:01.679 sense that you don't want me making plans in the 0:20:01.720 --> 0:20:04.600 evening in case last minute work comes up, and I 0:20:04.640 --> 0:20:08.520 wanted to clarify what is expected of me. My understanding 0:20:08.520 --> 0:20:10.960 when I was hired was that their role is mostly 0:20:11.840 --> 0:20:14.399 although I understand that of course occasionally I might need 0:20:14.440 --> 0:20:17.040 to stay late. I wouldn't want you to have the 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:19.560 sense that I'm not putting in the time. I'm always early, 0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:22.040 and I often work through lunch and work over time hours, 0:20:22.080 --> 0:20:24.920 and I never missed deadlines. But of course I also 0:20:25.000 --> 0:20:27.560 do sometimes have commitments outside of work, and I can 0:20:27.600 --> 0:20:30.159 change those when something is really urgent. But I have 0:20:30.280 --> 0:20:32.400 the sense that you have wanted me to be available 0:20:32.480 --> 0:20:35.280 in the evenings more often than I have been. I 0:20:35.320 --> 0:20:37.480 don't want to guess what your expectations are, so I 0:20:37.520 --> 0:20:40.040 was hoping we could talk about it. When you say 0:20:40.080 --> 0:20:44.359 that tone really matters, you want to sound kind of 0:20:44.359 --> 0:20:46.160 the tone I was just using like it's it's sort 0:20:46.160 --> 0:20:49.080 of you're trying to not be defensive or argumentative or 0:20:49.119 --> 0:20:51.640